A message for men whose partners have PTSD.

[@idrawallthingsgood2me782]

My husband is the BEST husband in the world. He always makes sure that I am happy, and feel safe and protected. He makes my life (along with our kids) worth living.

[@samking4329]

This man is a legend thank god I found this ! I’m showing this to my husband now. Thank you dr ochberg x

[@HesperianWanderer]

I wish so much that I had found this and other videos sooner. That I had done the research and been able to reach her. Thank you for being there for survivors and their loved ones, for being there to help others.

[@HeavymetalHylian]

The first step is remembering that you are different people, and different people have different perceptions of the same thing - and everyone is right to feel how they do. PTSD is a big deal to those who are living with it. It helps the most when you can acknowledge that and keep it at "I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I'm here to support you. How can I help you to be more comfortable right now?" instead of "that was in the past" "other people go through worse" or "cheer up." We already know these things. We're just looking for someone to listen and be around for us so we don't feel alone. We know the episode will pass on its own, just wait with us.

[@JSwaVT_24]

These words are like scripture for me - I listen over and over and try to learn. Thank you.

[@cecilialove7339]

Thank you to whoever keeps women safe.

[@SBrown001]

Thank you for such brilliant insight! It can be very challenging for the partner of a PTSD.suggerer, and this is immensely helpful.

[@sirtriz1982]

The woman I have loved for several years has only been with abusive men except for me (physically, emotionally, etc). She rejected me some years back to go on to be with 2 abusive men. Finally, recently she left her latest abusive relationship and stayed with me and thought maybe she should finally pick me, the good guy, instead of a bad guy. However, she went back to the abusive guy. Also when we were growing closer when she stayed with me, she started to have traumatic reactions, getting very skittish about how close we were becoming. It is clear the abuse suffered in recent years by these last 2 men have caused her significant damage. Now, due to her Complex PTSD she has Stockholm Syndrome and thinks I am the abusive one and the actually abusive guy is wonderful. This has also exacerbated her bipolar disorder paranoia. It is like she has us mixed up in her mind. She won't speak to me now because she thinks I'm the one who has hurt her instead of him, even accusing me of things he has done to her that I would never do. How can I help her feel safe with me again? I feel convicted of a crime I didn't commit. It's a nightmare...I love her and want to see her get safe and sound. I'm afraid if she goes on like this she won't survive because she has become so ill in the past few years.

[@dmgsoultogetherness6667]

You need to break away from this....ive been their it almost tipped me over the edge be kind to yourself

[@punyashloka4946]

You should break up with her , she need medical care more than you. Be kind to yourself you are a good person. The best for her would be getting proper treatment and healing. You need to move on .

[@Maranwe]

I wish one day I find a man with big enough balls to be that for/with me. Who wont shy away from the dark stuff. Thanks so much for that video.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Don’t hold out. Be there for you. And be careful, sometimes the there for you in the beginning is information gathering.

[@whispers._.]

I'm kinda scared to send this to my bf. Because I don't want to tell him "hey look it's about what I have" I mean he cares for me when I have a panicattack which happens often But if I have dissoziation and I'm not with him and I'm kinda writing weird and ask him to allow me to idk go inside then he's just annoyed because he doesn't like it

[@Evajeanfreedom]

Dr Ochberg has such a kind, compassionate manner. Thank you ❤🕯

[@JoyceGFW]

A message for men whose partners have PTSD.

[@cherylmoschitto_outwardsilence]

Wow. Thank you

[@CutsieMorbid]

Thank you for this tremendously helpful video.

[@tiffytoo]

I cried watching this

[@joanbaczek2575]

i need help with a boyfriend that has ptsd, when i try to comfort him he feels mothered, if he withdrawls and i just do nothing he thinks i don't care, if i fawn or beg or get upset when he withdrawls it only makes the withdrawl worse or triggers violence. so what do i do

[@whispers._.]

Hey, it's really sad to see that no one answered you.. how did it went? Did you find out what you can do?

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Be careful of you. I have sisters in law who have been abused all their lives. And I myself married a secretly abusive man while being scapegoated by my dame adult brothers

[@TaxingIsThieving]

00:39 Beautiful

[@bmc5075]

Thank you

[@dmgsoultogetherness6667]

I tried that approach didnt work almost ended up with ptsd myself get out now im not in the business of fixing people who dont want to be fixed or helped....

[@punyashloka4946]

It does happen sometimes hope you are ok now.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

Bit of an exaggeration...

[@gmod8033]

​@INTP I don't think you are in a position to make that claim. You can't fix what doesn't want to be fixed...at some point trying becomes detrimental to your own mental health.

[@romano1304]

Thank you for your videos. There are very informative. I have a question... My wife claims that she has PTSD and was abused as a child. I have been married to her for about 3 1/2 yrs and it has been hell. I have looked and researched into this and have discovered that she most likely has NPD with a BPD co-morbidity. She cannot see beyond her own pain and blames everyone for all her problems. She is very emotionally immature like a little girl living in an adult body. Is there a realistic chance the she would ever recover? I have heard of EMDR and healing the inner child. Do you think this would help her heal so that she can have a normal life? Thank you.

[@zain4019]

Yes EMDR and healing the inner child will definitely help. Also look into DID, she may have that, although there's a small chance. It's just that because she's hurting so much and at a young age she was taught and received pain probably from someone she is supposed to trust and form a bond with, she began to blame others, even those close to her. She may not know any different. It's been more than three years since your message, and I hope that you take care of her, and I know it's hard, it's really hard. But she does deserve someone who's by her side to help her handle all her pain and move past her fears. i don't know if you can ever let go of trauma but you can learn to make peace and live as you, maybe an even more beautiful you. So please help her find her way to herself.

[@sarahrashina2562]

BPD is also a response to trauma.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

My husband was so nasty. He went behind my back and went to a lot of effort to meet a certain person, a person, the chief abuser and he colluded with my family. He then went and learned a load of tricks that he would use in the most covert ways possible He got information from the horses that could only have been riveting- “ their perspective’” he used this to hone his tactics and look lime the nicest, shy guy you could know. Tall, lean, good looking easy smile, said little, played football, enjoyed a few beers with the guys. Good to his mom, granny, nieces and nephews. And shy… The meeting, which he mentioned in a casual way… happened 2 weeks before our wedding, it was in a town miles from where we lived, but he had a business call there. “I saw your mother today” Why? To see could I change her mind about coming to the wedding ( she refused her invite- only sent to give her the opportunity to refuse- then she was officially invited, mine was the only wedding she refused attend). Short story she was a sadist- over 6 years together he heard so much from me, I hid nothing. I could go on.

[@pixieshhh]

[@TaxingIsThieving]

How come this not-for-profit has only just closed (June 2022)?

[@DeAtHaToMiC88]

I don't think this video is particularly helpful at all, well at least not in the situation I know of. If a man won't try to understand what is happening when his woman starts to act differently and has issues then he simply doesn't care about her enough, he is selfish and has no real love for her, but reactions to unknown conditions and life events are a natural part of life not just defined by a condition. For example, if someone stands on your toe you'll probably push them off and say "watch where your going"... Before you realise that the person who stood on you had some sort of disability. Learning and understanding takes time, effort and communication... These are not one way streets for the man alone to travel down even if the woman has this awful phycological condition, she has accountability also... The pain to some degree is shared, and the effects of the pain on each individual and as a whole cannot be one person's to bare alone.

[@oompaloompa9139]

DeAtHaToMiC I don't think he said the man alone has to carry the entire burden. All he's asking is that the man doesn't play lawyer for the other side, because that increases the weight of the burden. This was advice how not to make it worse. Nobody's shifting responsibility.

[@04Mscentrum]

04mscentrum04 to: "funfare." Gee, it sounds like you're not exactly a bundle of sweet peas, yourself: IF it were your child? You wouldn't be strong enough to keep them from the "abyss," anyway.Best you keep yourself comfortable and unattached. If you married a person with PTSD? You couldn't fulfill the "in sickness or in health," part anyway.....So bless you...go out and have "fun."

[@baldersn4474]

Ehen its good its lovely but when its bad its an irrational bloody paranoid nightnare where you cant say or do anything right !

[@kenburns4547]

I find it interesting that this is specifically aimed towards MEN whose partners have PTSD; it seems to imply that women will abandon such a partner.

[@FukaiKokoro]

Not true. At all. Men seem to think the reason their female partners doesn't want to have sex or be touched is because she selfish and inconsiderate and just don't get it. What's wrong with making make partners of women with PTSD aware of cdertian things? Doesn't not insinuate anything.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

Reading way too much into it.

[@LR-yu3mx]

My second husband, a narcissist, was the one who protected me. He had many faults, but the one best aspect of him was, he was extremely protective of me from my toxic family. I stayed apart from him because of his drinking, but we remained good friends. I cared for him in his last year, when he was terminally ill and dying.And loved him.