A Narcissist's Ultimate Illogic

[@adrianaloborec2205]

I like this guy. No frills, no fake enthusiasm, no baby talk, no theatrics, just straight forward and down to earth. Unusual on YT.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, Adriana. Dr. C

[@rbnutwood4659]

Adriana Loborec And courteous++

[@hcombs0104]

I'm with you on that one. He's my favorite go-to expert on narcissism.

[@maevelynskey]

Yes, he is clearly the real deal. So helpful. This is one cool guy :D

[@NICOLE-iz6lj]

Totally agree. He is a great human being and gives such helpful insight, spot on 👍🏻🙏

[@jcprice5424]

I will not walk on eggshells ever again for just being me. I'm better off alone.

[@shawnmarie1912]

Amen and Amen to that

[@BamaSquirrel]

Amen

[@karynegough7564]

Amen

[@ccynthiasarnicki3637]

Amen 🙏

[@Working4God]

You said a mouth full

[@LoverofLife863]

They want total control over YOU, but have NO self control. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Terri48]

Exactly!!

[@setekhsthunder]

There is no simpler description. Constant judgment in a vacuum of culpability.

[@kellysims5732]

Weird isn't it? My narc mom is 73yrs old and her mental illness is really starting to show. I was told by my counselor to just watch the shitshow happen and live your own life. Its hard when i see her abuse my father and spend all the he makes. Ahh damn its hard!

[@lorrainem8234]

YES!

[@suzanneadamson1306]

@@kellysims5732 Can u intervene on ur dad's behalf? (shred the credit cards!) Maybe he's used to the interpersonal dynamic. Teach him about Grey Rock.

[@suzanneadamson1306]

When I became disgusted enough to seek a divorce after being abused financially & emotionally, he said "no one's ever going to love u like I do". almost funny.

[@pursue513]

I'm Sure it's the other way around! Play that old Lou Rawls song for yourself..."You'll Never Find..another love like mine.."

[@zacharykassner9002]

Oh but if you told them you will find someone that will actually love you and not cheat or lie to you they will turn it back around and say "I was never good enough for you". Always the victim they must be.

[@pursue513]

yes. It is always your fault no matter what they did. Scams!

[@soulrebel7114]

Yep, you’re left financially broke and emotionally bankrupt it’s awful you have no choice but divorce it.

[@kellysims5732]

Just reading your comment i think the whole group here would say we love you more than him!

[@photoprescott2499]

❤️ Thank you for detangling our brains. The narcissist is the ultimate brain twister and leaves you confused and puzzled.

[@anak1447]

One mistake I did when I met the narcisist (who is now my husband) that I regret badly: I told him my deepest secrets and everything from my past. To the details, because I trusted him. He did not tell me a hint from his past. But there is not a single day that he does not use any of these facts against me.

[@Ioncandi]

Yes that's one of the worst things they do. Gather intel about you and throw it back at you whenever they see fit.

[@BamaSquirrel]

Free yourself. Divorce and be free

[@tanyashort6474]

Yes! 🤮

[@gratefulsoul1661]

GET OUT!

[@hollywalen4875]

Yup, It's hard to believe a person can be so small. But there it is, believe it.

[@heliaalves9062]

7:52 "I'm gonna do to you what I wouldn't want anyone to do to me" That sums it up.

[@CG-bt7oc]

Hélia Alves to make things even more crazy, mine continually quoted "do unto others what you would like them to do unto you ". This quote of course was used as a form of self serving manipulation tactic to get you to sacrifice your entire being to them.

[@heliaalves9062]

@@CG-bt7oc How typical...

[@heliaalves9062]

@Carly S He can, you can't. Typical.

[@rfoley402]

Yep!!

[@Terri48]

Yes indeed.

[@meganl.5650]

"Filter your thoughts through me"= cult leader behavior. Ikes!

[@USNBLUE]

Marlin Manson

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

I think you mean Charles manson

[@tanyadavis6138]

Jim Jones

[@AS-kp1xu]

Trumpism

[@USNBLUE]

Wisconsin Farmer him too

[@goodgracious6364]

You are right on point! That's why it's so perplexing and exhausting dealing with narcs. You see them working and talking impressively with others, then, behind closed doors, you experience their totally illogical behaviors--like when they tell you bold face lies, then call YOU "impossible", then yell at you for not trusting them. It's a real mind trip--makes no sense!

[@MsNevermore19]

Ah, the irony of people with no filters wanting others to filter their lives through them. You just can't make this stuff up! Great video, Dr. C.

[@mariaseidi4764]

Horrible ,this mind games with another person head ,there is samething very diabolic about narcissim,more I learn about it more I believe you are figthing about samething that it's not if this world...No douth that this is more than a personality disorder you are dealing with a demon ...you are dealing with a evil entity,you are dealing with the Jezebel spirit.

[@GUURL101]

@@mariaseidi4764 yeah i genuinely believe that these people are demon-possessed

[@angelanicoletti3330]

@@mariaseidi4764 , Amen

[@MsNevermore19]

Everyone everywhere would do well to subscribe to Dr. C. He is a loving and kind person with an ultra-handsome dog.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

An especially handsome dog! Dr. C

[@Tawanda99]

I agree! You can tell he has a heart of gold! His wife is one lucky lady! We should all be so lucky! He is a comfort to us all. I watch Dr C all the time. So much insight and awareness.❤️

[@loribuonamici1398]

Gus is a wonderful dog! Everyone should have a Gus in their life!!

[@SuperGuanine]

@@loribuonamici1398 Gus's way is because Dr. C taught him by example.

[@stevenwhelly1196]

Yes, we want Gus in each episode! :o) ... dogs rule. :o).... don't think there ever was such a thing as a narcissist dog! hahaha

[@kristikola777]

They believe that ignorance is strength... and power means to destroy. They believe criminality and psycho-pathology equals superiority. They are not "sick" they are gone to the dark side.

[@adam-bailey]

True that !

[@sage9836]

I think they can pull us with them. Its scarry when you catch yourself thinking like a narc.

[@bomgodd]

I never heard "their ignorance is strength". But ive experienced it over and over. Full circle wisdom here.

[@kristikola777]

@@bomgodd Ha I've said before that they act like ignorance is their superpower LOL... but ignorance is really all that is needed for evil to prevail, and I was just reminded that "ignorance is strength" is from Orwell's 1984!

[@jacquikelly7929]

@@bomgodd well said " ignorance is strenth" yes i seen this in people ( narc's) pretending they don't understand before pouncing, i think that they choose not to be conscious deliberately, whilst getting the outcome they need. Bamboozling their victims is cunning and deceptive. It is a backdoor kind of evilness.

[@christar9527]

Another thing I’ve noticed is that they contradict themselves which is a hallmark of a liar. I was always confused around my narcissistic parents. If you’re confused you’re being abused.

[@SherAngad]

This is amazing and nurturing info thank you. My mother was the crazy narcissist who sexually abused me, did crack and heroin in front of my face, and more. And she continues to lie about it and play the victim. She's convinced my whole family that I am crazy and that I am lying, rather than holding herself accountable for all the pain she's caused. These narcissists are literally demons. I am so happy that I will never talk to my family ever again. Thank you for all you share

[@carineii6747]

Technology is a lifesaver when it comes to narcissists. When you film or record the nasty things they do, there is no way for them to deny anything, or twist reality. Best of luck to you. Ditch that monster and her flying monkeys, and be free!

[@nicktrevi2990]

Too Much and Never Enough 🍀

[@elliesteudte4423]

Nick Trevi 👏👏👏👏...WELL SAID...!

[@lindabaer6603]

See book by Mary Trump?

[@franckattede4046]

Trump is SUCH a narcissist

[@lindabaer6603]

The trap is even more insidious, when a parent has been doing this to the child through its developmental years into early adulthood. The breaking free period toward an independent life can be painful.

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

Learned helplessness through constant damned if you do/ damned if you don't setups.

[@batbarasobczak351]

Repent

[@denisevandenberg228]

And is a very long way to go

[@aparnavemuri1967]

Incredibly insidious .

[@sospita_]

yeah

[@marierose6792]

" You have to filter your life through me". You just have given us the main operating principle, Dr. Carter. Even their discard is under their control. It is quite sickening. My X takes a multitude of incompatible positions on any issue until your head is spinning. Then you realize that having you spin is the outcome he wants. He is not even going for logic. He just wanted to pull as many strings as he could , to tangle you up. I walked/ ran.

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

I will wager that when he found himself losing on logical grounds, he attacked the way you argued back. That way he never had to answer because it puts the adversary on the defensive.

[@marierose6792]

@@wisconsinfarmer4742 You are spot on !!!

[@sage9836]

I had this ex spouse and tried to engage with him in the kind of scholarly debate people enjoyed in my academic work. The understood rules were to be sincere, play nice, respect each other, and look for the truth. If you changed your mind or agreed on a point, you let the other person know. And it was all for fun among friends of goodwill. No one was trying to make the other loose. Well, I mistakenly credited my ex- spouse with goodwill, and he turned a fun discussion of this type into an ugly twisted competition, saying he was helping me by "playing devil's advocate" and just by twisting and twisting things. I felt so bad. It was not fun camraderie. To this type person, I apply my grandmother's wise advice: "Dont play with the mean kids."

[@KoVurt]

@@sage9836 they play with an agenda they think everyone plays...the only thing that matters is their own twisted fiction and how they can get 1 over on somebody is a win. Any means necessary.

[@cyndigooch1162]

@@sage9836 I've known many people, mainly women, who often said the opposite when having conversations and one told me that she was playing devil's advocate when I mentioned it! I'm aware that people don't have to agree with everything I say, but it gets frustrating when they go against nearly everything, just for the sake of it. I've gradually stopped contact with the ones like that in my life, but there's still a couple to sort out. I don't have much contact with them though. 🙂

[@pursue513]

Never looked forward to Mondays until I "met" Dr. Carter! Oh & the good Doctor Gus 👍

[@edithnagy4172]

And Thursday's

[@seekeroftruth19]

Thank you!

[@dirtysanchez941]

He's really wonderful. Very helpful. 💙✌️

[@Tina-rc5pt]

2 👍🏽👍🏽⬆️..!

[@policronia]

Wicked video. Please create a video about dealing with a Narcissistic boss

[@bookworm8792]

The narcissist will look you in the face and lie about anything and everything. Therefore, I feel no obligation to treat him with respect and say "you do what you think, and I'll choose my way." Engaging at all is supply for him. Better for me to say "whatever you think," stay away from him, and do what I damn well want.

[@Hundredacredaycare]

bookworm8792 yes. I have been grey rocking and that’s just been so much worse

[@missrelaxed3872]

I agree

[@GUURL101]

@@Hundredacredaycare How is grey rocking worse?

[@DavidWilliams-cn4ho]

It's crazy dealing with anybody like this I get it God bless..

[@julesm1273]

I understand how gray rocking is better in one way, but then you have to ask yourself is this how you want to live. Is the relationship you want for yourself or the model of a relationship you want your kids to see? I’d rather be alone than live like this because I assure you living that way for an extended period of time will change you. You are.

[@USNBLUE]

The definition of insanity - beating your head up against a brick wall expecting different results.

[@MargaretWalkerCellist]

"True peace" is not warring with an individual having to ward off their attacks. The way to peace is a two-way street where there is a safe road to travel by permission. Even nations have boundaries, and permissions have to be granted for non-residents to enter within that nation. People should not tread on territories that are not theirs. That's called trespassing. Thank you Dr. Carter for your keen insights.

[@amandawahl9325]

Wow, very insightful.

[@setekhsthunder]

I've had far too many incidents where I was put into a position of defensiveness, dictated to "correct me if I'm wrong" when attacked with untrue accusations, and treated as the worst scum of the earth for the slightest misstep. You are spot on. True peace comes from within. It does not come from overcoming the opposition, from surviving unwarranted attacks, or from keeping silent, patient, tolerant, and understanding to an individual who lacks all of those traits and refuses to ever utilize them. Why not? Because you're not worth it. You're beneath them. "I'm better than you because I" does not fit well with "don't handle my emotions properly or treat people with respect and understanding".

[@karenfridie689]

Margaret Walker, but, the devil has no limits. This world is his empire. He doesn't need a passport. Plus, his human agents are everywhere. Many in the form of Narcs and other evil entities. Only a relationship with God can give us protection.

[@GUURL101]

@@karenfridie689 Facts!!!!

[@cacatr4495]

@@karenfridie689 and satan despises humans, and wants them gone, as they are the target of his rebellion against God.

[@nana820able]

I find it amazing my husband is 62, has very little retirement but thinks everything is going to be ok. Our house isn't paid off and he still thinks he'll be able to live like he does now. That's illogical.

[@wifferstess2824]

You said it Dr C. There is no logic. It's all about: control, manipulation, self-preservation, winning, and most importantly avoiding the painful truth about themselves.

[@annehynynen8153]

A perfect description.

[@stanleydrive740]

Dr. Carter, you have rescued my heart. I am so grateful for all you have taught me, & for your gift of explaining things so a lay person can understand. Thank you so very, very much. You save lives! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

[@prarthanadurgam8646]

Their logic leads you down a rabbit hole and you are the one that suffers the consequences of following it. You will lose time energy and your well being for keep on giving them a chance.

[@len1045678]

Thats the same happen to me. The worst was opening up to the covert Narc thats when i really saw i was in a rabbit hole, alone and feeling empty and pathetic, maybe this had to happen to me so i can distance myself from a certain people

[@bewaniya]

VinTaVge0592 me too

[@briana14333]

Right! I was feeling so crazy, confused, anxious and undervalued. And when I shared that with him, he told me "those are the consequences". so sick

[@len1045678]

@@briana14333 yes the narc made me felt like shit and the way how he made me feel was like you should have never ask me that than i would never make u feel like that df !! When " IT " see me on the road and try to call me i does just keep on walking

[@楊宜強]

All the time, Dr. Carter it's as you said ...I'm going to do to you what I don't want anyone to do to me. Then turn it around and blatantly lie about how they didn't act that way. If you happen to be looking straight at them you're shocked at how convincing and convinced they are. They're professionals at deceit. Once you know the truth though, you can fly freely and be your wonderful self. Thanks Dr.Carter for every example you give. Can you hear our YES and nodding our heads to each of them ?

[@moniquejackson7741]

Brilliant insights Dr. Carter. Thank you so much for bringing these critical and life-changing insights to those of us who cannot afford therapy and would not otherwise hear these powerful words. You are a beacon of Truth and Empowerment in this darkness of Narcissistic Abuse. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for everything you do!

[@rick9870]

my narcississt likes to blame others in a particular way -- putting word "crazy" in front of whoever it is -- the crazy professor, the crazy plumber, the crazy painter, etc.

[@donna-colorado8443]

Yes he can do anything he wants but I have to be accountable for everything I say and do even though I am doing nothing wrong. I am just living my life the best way I know how. I work, I pay my bills, I raise my grandson, I don't drink or do drugs or go out and I am not a person that spends time with other men and I am still not seen as good enough. I have to get out of this trap and the worst thing about it is we don't even live together. I need to listen to my inner self and learn how to act upon it and kick him to the curb once and for all. Please pray for me.

[@halian1413]

I just discovered Dr. Carter a couple months ago. Wow, I have learned so much! Thanks Dr. Carter!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, Hal! Dr. C

[@dickensrivers9862]

good luck to all. found a woman who treats me like gold (in other words we have a normal, mutually supportive, caring, loving relationship) not bragging, but want fellow givers out there to know there are people who want to treat you like the precious individual you are. stay strong. be true to yourself and make the changes which will fill your life with only the good this journey has to offer.

[@tbd5082]

I am a narcissist deflection ninja- it’s still not enough because the entire relationship is disturbing. No contact is the best option if you can.

[@mcgaugh57]

I can't even imagine how many times my mother said to me, "Don't think about it ". She was always distorting reality.

[@suhayward]

Mcguagh, my mother said exactly the same. She was the Mind Police. Thanks for sharing, this brought me comfort just to know someone has been through the same mindfuckery. ''We all have to climb Ignorant Mountain, only some people choose to pitch up a tent and stay there.'' Celebrating 3 years without that bitter control, after 42 years of not being able to breathe. NO CONTACT is the only way to find peace. Tough decision, but I just couldn't take anymore. Be free people, blessings to you all x

[@GS-st9ns]

I am really impressed by how well your viewers understand what's going on. I've learned recently that a narcissist will use other people as Leverage against you in order to make a case because they really have no case of their own. They're protecting something or someone or themselves. Name dropping to the point where you'll buckle and give in so they can feel powerful. The power Dynamic is not power if you have name drop in order to be powerful.

[@juliesmithson5726]

Always about very wealthy, so called superior people. ugh.

[@gw5309]

I’ll never understand why anyone votes the good doctor down

[@SuperGuanine]

The down voters must have themselves in some of the narcissist videos. And b/cuz the Ns think they're perfect they cannot stand to hear that maybe, just maybe they have room for improvement.

[@rhope3287]

The thumbs down is obviously pain relief.

[@karenfridie689]

There are many Narcs on these sites. Remember they're information collectors which helps them to refine their evil art.

[@Chahlie]

They are probably also narcs who are snooping through their victims computer... They probably think we are all a cult who is out to get them! Sorry, I'm in a 'I'm free' mood today :) Oh good heavens, typical scapegoat, apologising for being happy.....

[@Robidu1973]

Most likely narcissists who don't like that there are people out here who are out to uncover their machinations.

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

I lucked out with a father who let us make our mistakes and only offered advice when asked. Dr C is, in many ways, talking about the futility in maintaining the illusion that I am perfect. Why does a narcissist need this illusion? To avoid pain. Their internal fear is so great that they are relentless in the effort. When we are able to see that they suffer greatly, they lose their hold on us. Some of you think this means giving them a pass. No it is not a pass. It means you can see more clearly and not allow such an injured person into any role of influe, because everything becomes a response to pain and fear, whether real or not.

[@rfoley402]

Well said. This is deep; I agree!

[@hollywalen4875]

Everything becomes a response to pain and fear, rather real or not. Good point. And right now we just need less fear and more grace.

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

Yes, when ever I review how I can improve, I want to become more gracious.

[@valianttv3045]

I agree

[@lovesouthfrance]

Love this guy! Just when the narc twists my mind he shows me that its not ME!

[@tru2608]

When the narcissist tried this with me. I got the judge involved. Accountability, Responsibility, Respect, & Consequences.

[@angellacanfora]

I've been working on having compassion towards the N's in my life. No child ever thought "when I grow up, I want to be negative, bullying, mean and unlikable." It's not a path they chose - it's just how they're wired. Keeping this in mind helps me to let all the badness that emanates from them flow over me like water.

[@pickles432noname6]

I spent all day taking my mother to the doctor. I took her home and she said I shouldn’t be allowed to drive. And then my dad said my feet were to fat for my shoes. I got up and left. Good luck getting my siblings to take you to your next appointment. They live out of state.

[@kitkain7634]

I always thought whoever gets my narc next will be treated better than I ever was. Because I accepted bad behavior where no one else would. I'm sure now this is wrong thinking! He will be the same with ANYONE. Maybe worse As he gets older he gets worse. These videos have been a Godsend and a huge help in understanding him And me!

[@crowznest438]

This is one of the clearest explanations as to the truth of the narcissists in one's life.

[@djrdjr8888]

OMG! I've been looking for accurate words to describe the way my brother has always made me feel. 3 brothers. He is oldest golden child total narc.. I am youngest of 4 kids and the scapegoat. Dr. Les says "You need to filter your life through me" That statement is pure gold. NO I DON'T! It is difficult to shake the ILLOGICAL notion of filtering, (I call it getting permission) as that insanity is all we've ever known.

[@betsyhood1206]

My narc brother's logic and anger is so irrational (to us) that we wonder if he might have dementia. But, if you filter everything through his life as a 2-3 year old, it almost makes sense.

[@stevenmorgan7864]

Thank you Dr. Cater for educating us about narcissism. It is very helpful

[@TC-xp1cn]

It is so crazy to me to think that my mother narcissist went through the same thing that she is putting me through as her daughter. I am a 47 year old woman, I have a 48-year-old brother. My brother is The Golden child and I am the scapegoat. I am learning so much from Dr Carter. As painful as it is I would never want to be The Golden child.

[@priya_jha]

Growing up my narc mom always told that I'm mentally ill and how she want to admit me to a mental hospital for the same 😂. Every time she felt crazy she told me this

[@MikeB-ek4ep]

By far the most knowledgeable person of topic on KZbin

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you, Mike. Dr. C

[@warorislam]

Another example of this thing. You're driving along on a 2 lane road they driving below the speed limit and there's hardly any traffic for them to be driving so slow so you decide to casually pass them. Next thing they tailgating you because you caused the insecure things a narc injury. But the thing is even police overlook them and feel sorry for them!.

[@briana14333]

I love your name, Narc-Free Society! Wouldn't that be a haven?! And yes, my narci ex had road rage. No one knew how to drive but him.

[@laurac5451]

My husband tried claiming that I didn't love him because I didn't think exactly like him. Out a stop to that right away.

[@markhottman2652]

Dr. Carter thank you for letting your viewers hold on to sanity. Cheers to Healthy, True Peace.

[@philzail2532]

I agree 100%, an indicator with the narcissist is? They will repeat their conflicting opinion with yours endlessly. Even at the same time like this conflict of opinion never happened before.

[@CG-bt7oc]

7:55 "I'm gonna do to you what I don't want anyone to do to me" ... all the while quoting to you "do unto others what you want others do unto you"

[@jba3608]

“And if you call me on my disrespectful behavior, I will absolutely turn it around and make it your fault. If you don’t allow me to do that, I’ll just deny it ever happened...”

[@akkitheconqueror6922]

Filtering life through a narc is such an eyeopener. This is a perpetual feel that has a got a term now thanks Doc!

[@briana14333]

Luckily I followed these steps and made it through the conversation with a clear mind! I had my journal in front of me (phone conversation) and I made it through without crying or feeling crazy. He actually ended the conversation and broke up with me when I refused to apologize for the MILLIONTH time about the same crap I've been apologizing for. Thank you!

[@kimlarsson7259]

One of the most important things I have learned from your lectures, is to identify the covert narcissist. Most narcissists blend in. They are not like Trump or Michael Jackson. The narcissist can be your teacher, your PT, your local store owner etc. It took me decades to discover the narcissism in my own family.

[@kre8iveingenuity228]

Not sure what happened to my logic all these years, however I've been thinking with my eye's opened & thinking logical since the day I left him!! While with him I had wondered why he was the way he was for a great many years & since I found out, life has changed quiet a bit.

[@narcfreeatlast6975]

To us they are illogical, to themselves their reality seems logical. They have a twisted perception of reality that is not congruent with our reality.

[@juliesmithson5726]

They know better than everyone, even if they are not in the same profession.

[@indervirsidhu6364]

Thank you so much for educating us about Narcissism.

[@Chahlie]

Honestly, it's like narcissism is a form of dementia. People think my mom is getting dementia, but people who have known her for years realise that she is exactly the same, except nobody is there to keep it under wraps. My sister, on the other hand, is just plain delusional :) It is so hysterical to hear someone else actually saying out loud that they lie! So many people look at you funny when you tell them that _____ is lying. This is one of the best videos you have done :)

[@cymbolichuman433]

A song "you can't even run your own life, I'll be damned if you run mine! Sunshine go away from me, I don't feel much like dancin'" Back in the 70's.

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

This is exactly what I have encountered all my life. I have removed myself from them and life has been full of joy because of it.

[@hendriefalke5169]

They will try and justify it also with “there’s your logic and then there’s my logic”.

[@scottmcgowan7450]

I can see you've met my father and my brother! Celebarting 4 months of my sudden unexplained adoption of No Contact as the ultimate boundary. Best decision I ever made...

[@paulmyers9049]

Yes, identifying with the traumatizer is rampant, in so many. Thinking about something that happened, 'oh well they had struggles' they may have had struggles, but I was in pain! Emotional, agony, even! And you get a whole mob of people who are incapable of empathizing with the weak person who is doing nothing wrong. No wonder people are screwed up!

[@christar9527]

So true! The narcissist gets sympathy and gets away with abuse because people make excuses for them BUT the one who’s quiet, sick and weak from decades of abuse and is constantly being cornered and attacked by the narcissist(s) gets spit on over and over! Great point. I’ve struggled with that because it makes me think that the world is so evil that only evil people can live in it. The world is not for nice and good people.

[@donna-colorado8443]

Thank you Dr. Carter. Blessings and protection for you and your family. Please tell your wife hello and give Gus a big hug from me.

[@mariewilson6402]

Dr. C., your counseling is like a bright light in my life, counteracting the dark side. Thank you for helping me cope

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased, Maria. Received with gratitude. Dr. C

[@laurarandolph5600]

Focusing on the lack of logic keeps discussions facts-based which helps in making/ discussing/ defending good decisions/ attitudes/ ideas. Keeping your voice calm and your attitude detached help along with that. Reacting to what appears to be negative motivations in the narcissist is like stepping in quicksand. Typical narcissist response: "YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!" And you can't. But you can stand on facts, especially if you record them and read over your notes and remember them. I kept a journal. When you are being heavily gaslighted, reading over facts like your last 3 bicycles were broken when you had them locked up in the house; as well as a zillion other things, you can be sure that they are not breaking themselves. Even if no other person will listen or believe you, you know the truth, And....'THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE." --JOHN 8:32

[@staciwhite4276]

Wow, Dr. C! This describes my mother’s attitudes and behaviors to a T! My mother resents logic. I always got the silent treatment from her when I made the most sense.

[@jo-annahicks3324]

Ditto.

[@chandreyeesaha5666]

God bless you. You brought sanity back in my life

[@wendiewise8202]

You have put into words what I couldn't. Thank you for that.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

I needed this. I just finished an argument with a verbal (via text) abuser and was discouraged and need a vent. I recently took over as administrator of my church’s food bank and my private phone number was published (with my permission) as an emergency number to call if you can’t wait for regular hours to get food. A woman called yesterday and made an appointment for tomorrow. Tonight she texted me and said a food item she got last time smelled bad (I was warned by someone involved with the food bank that she always complains about something every single time she got food) and that she wouldn’t be coming tomorrow. I let her know that the particular food item was just bought 2 days before it was given to her so the fault would be on the grocery store not us. I also said it was her choice whether or not to come. She got some digs in that I ignored. She kept repeating them until I replied repeating that whether or not she comes in to get food is up to her. She asked what food she would be given if she came and I said it would depend on what we have. She said there’s probably nothing there to be worth going for anyway. I told her I had just restocked the shelves yesterday plus we had a big donation from a local university. She said I was lying because I just said I didn’t know what was there. I said I hadn’t memorized what I stocked. She then said that she was mad at my pastor because she had told the pastor to take over the food bank but she gave it to me instead. But she said she would call and tell the pastor once again to take it over. Here’s where the lack of logic comes in. I explained that the pastor couldn’t just take it over because she is a pastor, has a paid job, and is raising 3 teenagers. I am a more logical choice because I just graduated college and haven’t found a job yet and my kids are grown so I am a logical person to do it. She accused me of lying. Then she called me a robot and told me twice to get a life. I commented that I have a life. She fast fired 4 insults and fat shamed (I am overweight due to having no thyroid). I told her to I stopped putting up with abuse years ago. I said if she wanted to have a civil conversation fine but if she was going to continue gaslighting me I was done. No reply. Here I was trying to help her with free food and she gaslights me. I feel bad that she apparently needs help and I got fed up with her but I don’t have to put up with abuse. Thanks for the vent. This happened just minutes before I saw the notification for the video.

[@nsmith9365]

Really helpful. Thank you. Just what I am going thru right now. I have learned to not take it so emotionally and step back some. Sometimes I just listen to your calm voice over and over and it becomes my own inner voice saying these things.

[@marcusong4769]

I am so glad that Carter provides insight to understand that my friend actually is deep traumatic experience and they are damaged and undeveloped emotionally . Pls, kind doctor, can you also do videos on How to deal with Narc teenager son (18)? What strategies to help teen son go off this addiction - Covert Narc symptoms? How to draw boundaries with teenage son? I come from very traditional Asian culture.

[@tbd5082]

My mom regards me with what i perceive as contempt, but disdain is close enough.

[@BamaSquirrel]

Thank you so much for your videos and I am grateful for everyone else in comments and who watches these too on this journey of healing from the narc and all that illusion. We are the survivor family ❤️✊🏻

[@lazykat4033]

I agree. I know someone who is highly critical and extremely loose with facts and truth. Believe me.

[@Mysticus11]

I consider myself both intelligent and capable of logic, but I’ve really struggled with all the points you have made. The relief that your clarity brings is enormous. Thank u Dr. C 🙏🏾🤯

[@clusterbfreekarynsmith2190]

Morning from Honolulu. Learning to 'disengage'. Narc has logic of 5 yr old and is 'the man' of the house. 🙄

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You're up way too early! Dr. C

[@pamelacox5345]

@Karyn Smith-Roberts: I’m going to guess that you are up early because you are truly the “man of the house”, and you are really the one running everything while the narc does whatever he pleases, whenever he pleases, and has gone AWOL. My narc husband also plays the “man of the house” card while he goes off to play golf, basketball, etc, and comes back to sit in his “man-cave”, and criticizes everything I have done with the children, the house, my job, etc. Then he complains that I don’t let him “lead” as the man. What?????

[@cholabulaya2723]

🤣🤣

[@Terri48]

Bless you.

[@phyllisfleming7247]

My first big, conscious clue was when I realized my 45yo h was acting in ways I did not allow our 3yo son to engage in.

[@annemeridien3384]

Dear Dr. Carter, You are such a natural and coherent speaker. Even if you read from a script, it all seems so natural and deeply sincere. You have a very special way of consistently connecting with your audience. I do not know of a single politician who can speak in the same way with clarity and compassion. You are truly gifted. I have been following you for more than a year and you have helped me so much. You frequently post new content that is truly prolific and insightful. Thank you so very much!

[@kathleenreardon8943]

Thanks Dr. Carer. Yes they want zombie partners. All of their actions show that this is their goal.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

You were smart and wise to specialize in Pathological Narcissism. They abound in the US society! Thank you for educating your viewers, Dr. Carter!

[@myriamdimakopoulou6299]

What else can we say.... Never try to get a narcissist see the light!! The way they see the world is sickening

[@bordeauxhouse]

Thank you, Dr. C. Your videos help me anchor into my common sense, knowledge of my inherent value, and trusting myself.

[@funlovinbloke6266]

I have written it already several times, also on other channels: they probably met my covert narcissist ex partner, hihi. It is so recognizable.

[@HeatherDMorris]

I love these videos. I'm a year out of divorce and so happy being me ! I still watch bc I just enjoy Dr. Carters wonderful personality

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, Heather! Dr. C

[@chinookvalley]

It's been a while since I've had to deal with the Narc, but this is helping me to continue to benefit, learn, and heal. Thanks Dr C and Gus for your love and kindness.

[@clusterbfreekarynsmith2190]

Aloha from Honolulu. Narc tells me how I am supposed to think and feel.

[@bobbitriplett3770]

Oh my goodness. This has been my mom, from the time I was young. I bought into it till this last year, thank you Dr Carter. She is in her 80’s now. One question: why does she not do this to my sister, the “perfect” one

[@irenestar9256]

Because your sister is "the golden child " my mom treats my sister and brother the same way because they go along with my mom's way of being, no matter how illogical she may be. I'm the truth telling scapegoat child, as a teen I couldn't understand my moms lack of common sense and always pointed out in a respectful way how that doesn't make sense, little did I know that's the worst thing someone an do to a narcissist. I also have 2 other siblings who are the considered "the forgotten children, my mom just paid no mind to them, they just somehow blended in like the furniture in the house.

[@soozshooz]

TY-I have been saving these videos to show my 11yr. old one day when it will make sense. So many Narcs around. They should teach this in school. Would be way more useful in life than a lot of what they are teaching. They need life skills!!!!

[@christar9527]

sooz hart They don’t want to teach it in school because the world is run by extreme narcissists. They don’t want people catching onto them and their tactics. They brainwash children to force them into a certain way of thinking and it’s all lies!

[@machellevietz6004]

It’s like you live in my house and pull your content from my life! So very, very helpful. This one in particular b/c Christian women raised to believe husbands are the “head of the house” have a particularly hard time being married to a “holy narcissist”. Your affirmations are more Godly than their logic. Blessings, Dr. C!

[@ollyball7817]

Straight forward and to the point. So tired of circular conversations. Round and round it goes like a merry go round. I’m GLADLY exiting the merry go round!

[@rayraymond9591]

You've saved them. I wish I could talk to someone like you.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Steadiness, decency and responsibility can lead us to a lifestyle anchored in love and peace. Thank you dr Carter 😊❤ God bless you ❤

[@nancygibson4380]

Can a narcissist have a child who becomes a narcissist? When my grandson was going through nursing school, I was desired and wanted for my nursing knowledge. Now, that's he's a nurse practitioner, he's a know it all and nothing I say is logically sound. He now laughs at me because where he is in life supersedes my life's accomplishments. He uses to be my whole life but that is gone. It seems my family is so dysfunctional, I don't fit in if I think things out of how they think. I'm learning how to be self-sufficient and live without others in my life. The small gifts I send seen piled up and not used or wanted. Now after 30 days these items through Amazon can't be returned. Nothing is good enough. So, I've decided not to send any more gifts, "just because I love you." And save me money. His mom was just like this and I had hoped he would turn out with more compassion and carrying. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the proverbial tree. It's so sad when a grandmother thinks she may have one relative that thinks and acts in a loving and sweet manner.

[@Chahlie]

Yes. The whole family gets messed up. I take gifts to my nieces at Christmas and birthdays and if they aren't there I never get an acknowledgment. Their mom didn't even tell her new boyfriend for 2 years that she has siblings (she is the forgotten child). Absolutely nobody in my family except 2 of my kids, is kind and caring. I have a narcissistic son so now no contact with my beloved granddaughter- in 9 years maybe she will come find me. Just keep being generous and kind to people who deserve it.

[@dirkusmaximus9268]

Nancy Gibson of course...

[@frankgeniusza1524]

Yeah my narc friend's father is a narc as well.

[@izawaniek2568]

Listening to my inner voice and my logic I choose to lead me in life ❤ Thank you dr Carter.

[@catherinepraus8635]

Finally using my wise logic mind took two years to not take it personal, obvious not Asorb the hardest thing was to not take it personally now anyone can it pleasure from someone else's pain is a bitter pill to swallow thank you dr.carter and gus 😊

[@wisconsinfarmer4742]

Thank you for that concept. They treat everyone who gets close the same, so it is not personal.

[@hope46sf]

Bless you, Dr C!!! Thank you for being so grounded in this subject and sharing it with us!!

[@dawne2443]

So much of your teaching today resonated with what I've been working on. Thank you, Dr. C, for confirming this for me and giving me more tools to work with. 💚

[@roserichardson7908]

Thank you for this information. After 14years of being together the narc just left and gave no reason other than he wants a different life by himself This video has clarified every behaviour in him and as it's been so difficult to accept he's gone I now know hd didn't care about me, only himself. Thank you Dr C