a needlessly thorough ROAST of the Taylor Swift Holiday Collection 💀 *deinfluencing you*

[@wa11ie]

i am so convinced the little meeting room at 13 management where they have the merch design meetings is underground and the only sunlight they get is when someone remembers to feed them dry bread and water. i think the reason so much of this is in greyscale is because the designers have forgotten about colour but then they pull out the pantones once in a while and pick one at random for a font.

[@MM-dw4ew]

What a delicious Sunday roast

[@imogenlucy1561]

I’m cackling 😂😂😂

[@joannaj727]

Evermore being the winter album and having some of the worst Christmas merch is a crime against humanity 😭

[@bethanyann37]

Seriouslyyy

[@b19wing_inslowmotion]

Ikr it deserved wayyyy better

[@i_think_he_did_it_0]

FRR

[@Ilovetoskate07]

Ikkk I need some good evermore merch

[@IMMABIGBACK_FORCOOKIES]

FR

[@mindymulligan2397]

This is the most important swiftologist video ever ~sincerely a broke college student who copes with Taylor Swift music and online shopping

[@theswiftologist]

Stay strong diva you DONTTTT need the microplastic extravaganza

[@Maryb-j5k]

Trust me, you aren’t alone! I’m a working girlie (finished college years ago), but still paying almost $120 for a sweater is just so much… 😢

[@jenn9049]

same diva same , we should stay strong the bank account is shaking

[@cheesecakelasagna]

The Speak Now TV cardigan almost made me do it, but then I saw one girl in a restaurant wore the og cardigan and it's so thin.

[@delicateproductions12]

i love when zach is so lovingly rude about taylors merch

[@theswiftologist]

Someone’s gotta do it …

[@delicateproductions12]

@@Taylors_Manuscript obviously you didnt understand the joke but ok

[@bouchrakebour2629]

​@theswiftologist she needs to hire him as a consultant of sorts. She needs fewer yes men and more people who give it to her straight

[@bip5395]

This is exactly why I am a fan of Zach, while not being fan of TS. Intelligent, substantive, informed approach. Love it!

[@saqua608]

"You have enough microplastics at home" had me rolling. 🤣🤣🤣

[@lindsaytubbs3523]

And in our brains

[@S.A.R.A.H.123]

Yes!!!! Loved it! Biggest pet peeve with all the cardigans, they are literally 100% plastic

[@SpeaknotTaylorsversion2]

No because I physically gasped when I saw she made the vigilante shit chair a CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT 😭

[@theswiftologist]

its like sacrilegious ...

[@ScoutFinch713]

That was by far the best item

[@ElizabethEddelman]

my jaw dropped when the chairs were compared side by side, like the difference was so jarring!!!!

[@Corrie561]

like why did she not just do a moon & stars ornament or even the ghost from anti-hero MV?

[@-eliaplayz-5766]

@@Corrie561 you could make one yourself!! it would be so cute!

[@summerchild_]

The microplastics were inside us all along.

[@gillianmarie5895]

Maybe the real micro plastics were the friends we made along the way

[@everygoodhanldeistaken]

maybe the microplastics were the friends we made along the way ❤

[@lilyhunter1286]

the silent cheer i let out whenever you approve of the items i bought 😭

[@mimiodinson]

NOT ME I BOUGHT THE SPEAK NOW JACKET ZIPPER

[@shar3859]

HE ROASTED MINE 😭😭😭😭

[@sarasweet3578]

Me as someone who got the Chloe or sam hoodie I get ittttt

[@valerie5129]

Count me in I ordered the All Too Well Polo zip shirt 🤣🥲

[@juliajohnstone1264]

YOU GUYS HAVE IT EASY I GOT THE KANGAROO POCKET CREWNECK AND TTPD PURSE AS A GIFT AND I WAS TRYNA GASLIGHT MYSELF BUT I JUST CANT ANYMORE I FEEL SO BAD

[@percydog0123]

“I live in Singapore, I don’t need any more sweaters!” Proceeds to purchase a cruel summer sweater… 😂😂

[@eeeowozola]

zack lives in Singapore?????? as a singaporean swiftie this makes me happy idk why

[@brieannaolder992]

Me, but as a Southern Texan

[@A-Milly-A]

Me, living in Sydney.

[@Fea54]

You being like I’m gonna roast this then immediately screaming on how cute the ornaments are 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@theswiftologist]

I’m a humble swiftie … she DOES get me …

[@Fea54]

Stay strong 🫶🏻

[@starrstuff]

I'm broke so watching this is definitely making me feel better :D thank you zach, love you king

[@theswiftologist]

You're welcome!!

[@colekayve]

"It's CHRISTMAS, the season of giving... so money pwease❤" and i side eye but i love her for it

[@jessanicholsongoetz6884]

The ornaments got me. I bought a ton of them-but we are a “random ornaments collected over the years non-aesthetic Christmas tree” family 😂

[@Starbuxlvr1313]

You must be rich then lol

[@TheLakesGirlie]

Same I put ornaments I made when I was probably 4 on my tree😂

[@meghansullivan6812]

Yesssss I love a ~non-aesthetic~ tree w all sorts of random and old ornaments we've had forever!

[@eaglefoot23]

“‘Cause in this city’s barren cold I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well,” is my favorite TS lyric of all time, and even I wouldn’t touch that red zip polo with a 10-foot pole! It’s absolutely hideous!

[@LilyEvans1996]

OMG SAME

[@LilyEvans1996]

i get chills EVERY time i hear her sing that line

[@georgearios1555]

swiftologist weekly videos are literally part of my Sunday routine

[@theswiftologist]

Mine too!

[@KoketjoMagagane-o8v]

Me three ​@@theswiftologist

[@um7239]

I always watch them while I do my Sunday morning chores

[@emma-q3f]

" lover was the first era where the merch was f- " THE CUT IM DEAD

[@ChristopherMarshburn]

Zach, may I suggest another merch video? In my opinion some of the coolest (and sometimes better quality) Taylor merch is found on Etsy. How about featuring that? Maybe even you and Madeline could do a video together of holiday gifts for the Swiftie in your life.

[@kendallstory4167]

I love this idea omggg

[@rachelannie812]

@@kendallstory4167 Zach did one already of these and I found some great small Swiftie shops this way!

[@amyhansen6829]

Can we talk about the false advertising on at least two items so far? The cowboy like me jacket (printed not embroidered) and the reputation cropped turtleneck sweater (acrylic not cotton)

[@parrisjules]

​@@Mina-12128Exactly!

[@Fisher_J2]

I will NEVER be late for Swiftologist.

[@anneli13]

thank you for deinfluencing me and giving me a little giggle in these trying times

[@theswiftologist]

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[@nehirhayr4650]

11:10 the if this wasn't ableist i would buy it LMAOOOOO i cant😭😭

[@Isabeltiful_da_bel]

15:50 the way the back of this thing looks like a "Keep calm and" poster from 2013 is SENDING ME.

[@tvestal100]

"Why is everything cropped?" THANK YOU!! I do not understand the obsession the store has with making so many of their shirts cropped. I do not know how to pull that off and therefore I miss out. I assume this is just a me problem but idk.

[@kassianistevens]

Idk why they don’t have the option for cropped or regular.

[@Swift13forevermore]

Love cropped tops but like I want some clothes I can wear on winter

[@haleymist09]

I remember when everything was eeeeextra long in the 2000s. For me, they would hit right on the largest part of my hips, so I could never find a shirt. It's funny to see everything bein cropped now! A longer crop is a little easier for my curves to wear... but....why can't stuff just stop on the waist? lol!

[@michael-s]

I didn’t get anything, not even ornaments. Her merch used to be such high quality and affordable when she was with Big Machine. In 2018, I bought a Rep tour shirt for $13 (her site had a $13 sale) and I ordered a clear tote bag and Rep tour book. The bag was out of stock so they sent me another book and an 8x10 photo for free. The packaging included reputation tissue paper. Gone are those days.

[@theskyplanet2702]

Ace pride flag koi was not something I was expecting from taylor merch

[@theswiftologist]

LMAOOO

[@valeriaguzman7928]

Same no fucking way jajajajja

[@theskyplanet2702]

@ accidentally picking purple for speak now merch? I’d never DARE to assume that and then joke about it accidentally being the colors of the ace pride flag that’d make no sense! :O

[@theskyplanet2702]

Awn baby

[@raquelking6323]

@@Taylors_Manuscripthoney, it’s a joke.

[@lewispowell6015]

Taylor’s strongest merch items are very clearly the ornaments, and snow globes. We need a TTPD snow globe expeditiously. Genuinely these window shopping videos might be some of my favourites of yours! Always so fun, and funny.

[@reneem.6103]

Looks like you got your wish on the TTPD snow globe!

[@lewispowell6015]

@ I did! Well chuffed!

[@katdrinkard3271]

Ornaments that would’ve been cute: Eras Tour surprise song piano, snake microphone, etc

[@cc1526]

There’s a million options honestly - I don’t even know how she’d pick. The willow orb is LITERALLY THE SHAPE OF AN ORNAMENT. Lol Like they could’ve made it one of those battery operated ones so it lights up.

[@b19wing_inslowmotion]

@@cc1526 THAT WOULDVE BEEN SO COOL

[@snowfoxxie]

I would literally unalive someone for a willow ornament. 😮

[@KatieKangaroo26]

There should've been a rabbit ornament for evermore cause of the fell down the rabbit hole line in long story short. Also there should've been a red rose ornament for folklore as well cause of the a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground line in folklore.

[@KatieKangaroo26]

​@@snowfoxxieomg that totally should've happened and an actual Christmas tree ornament for Christmas tree farm

[@horribledevilgirl]

Here you go girls! The micro plastic extravaganza! The delivery on that took me out hahahaha, loved this

[@theswiftologist]

Thanks for watching divaaaaa

[@baguettedits1]

“mental hospital for her!” 💀

[@Mother_is_Mothering306]

Now that I think about it since she was finding a Christmas angle on thing WHERE WAS BACK TO DECEMBER IN THE SPEAK NOW SECTION

[@theswiftologist]

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take....

[@KatieKangaroo26]

Also with Evermore one of the sweatshirts should've said hey December guess I'm feeling unmoored 😢 missed opportunity right there

[@ldrgenius]

i love you so much you have the honesty that not many other swiftie have or are brave enough to share, but simply you are mostly always right

[@vedanshchn]

That lovely Cruel Summer sweatshirt should've been in a sky blue color as well.

[@Swiftie_Haunted22]

Omg can you please do this for all of the merch drops! I so needed this, someone not being downright in denial about how SOME of it is cute, but still having the reason to understand that rent comes before merch. ❤

[@ella.ztr7]

How could the evermore collection be so boring when it’s literally the Christmas album.

[@theswiftologist]

EXACTLY

[@britneyc.3341]

When you saw the Florida!!! t-shirt, "This... looks like a used towel" LMAO

[@whiskeysfoxtrot824]

followed by the back "can i use you up". I'M DEAD

[@absolutetwaddle]

Evermore holiday merch if made well would sell so fast and instead I bought a fan made tis the damn season sweatshirt on Etsy I wear every winter. Thank you, as always for your honest, hilarious takes!

[@ericataylortv]

I also have a tis the damn season sweatshirt from Etsy with a menorah on it. It’s my favorite thing.

[@b19wing_inslowmotion]

No but Etsy Taylor merch is so much better than the official kind 😭

[@shineinstars]

​@@b19wing_inslowmotioncuz they aren't making them solely for money 😭

[@b19wing_inslowmotion]

@@shineinstars well very true

[@pavilova29]

Your productivity and work ethic never fails to amaze me! ❤❤❤❤

[@theswiftologist]

🩷🩷🩷🩷

[@bethlovesthings]

"now we're back to the piss yellow, I can calm down" 😂😂😂😂 oh, your commentary is unmatched

[@Citykitty23]

I remember reluctantly buying a couple Lover era items in 2019 and being so disappointed. For a woman who has a hand in everything it baffles me that she lets her merch go on this wild.

[@vanessanicolas8288]

“Im dyspraxic, if this wasn’t ableist i would buy it” I’ve never felt something truer in my dyspraxic soul.

[@sigyn27]

I love how quickly this went from "You don't need any of this garbage" to Swiftologist trying to talk himself out of buying half of the stuff 🤣 Also, we need to see the pink sweater in action soon.

[@vedanshchn]

32:57 Imagine Taylor accepting an award wearing this atrocity 😂

[@cheshirecatswiftie]

The worst thing about the TS merch is that half the time the items are immediately sold out before you can even purchase them. The only item I wanted from this drop was the Folklore Cardigan socks but they were gone in a damn flash. Maybe a restock before the holidays, but you never know.

[@theswiftologist]

the fake scarcity is saur annoying

[@parrisjules]

As if she didn't know they would sell out. It's irritating and tactics like that are turning this longtime fan sour. 😡

[@Becca_Hansen]

I’ll have you know that Zach mentioning the secret sessions is the free space in my Swiftologist bingo board 🤣🤣🤣.

[@sunnydays802]

Clicked so fast.,. Thank you Queen. Can we just talk about your hair and glowing skin? You never cease to compel me. luv u ❤

[@theswiftologist]

Thank you divaaaaa

[@rachael96]

“does this pink look good on me?” *switches to your face* immediately yes

[@jeniiiikay]

Your hair looks GORGEOUS mr swiftologiost !

[@theswiftologist]

Thank you diva!

[@jeniiiikay]

@@theswiftologist I love my weekly swiftologist vids, I am revisiting your old ones atm as well 💕

[@amrutakarve92]

Swifties are going crazy about the Stars on ALL the merchandise, easter eggs-wise

[@Chelseabee55]

insane behaviour

[@amyfalls]

typical

[@epiphanyedits]

they have seem to forgotten the constant mention of stars in ttpd 😭

[@cc1526]

@@Chelseabee55why is it insane? At least they’re not using the Pythagorean theorem again to figure out some random announcement date 💀 at least the stars literally being on like every piece of merch is believable.

[@amyfalls]

@@cc1526 no it isnt. stars are too general to symbolize anything special. heck its associated with two whole albums. its the same as if taylor took a deep breath and ppl would relate it back to every time she ever took a deep breath. stupid theories

[@sofemininewithgrace2198]

Honestly as a person who has never bought any TS merch and would never buy anything, I love the ornaments!

[@theswiftologist]

They ARE cute

[@dakotalee6990]

Not the Fearless journal being ableist. 😂

[@Julietdw]

I love how the title of the video says the point is to deinfluence us but we see you falling into the trap live on tv and constantly having to remind yourself to be strong and resist it yourself 😭 "oh wait this is cute- NO!!!" 🤣

[@heavenhall3512]

My excuse is saving my money for the rep era it’ll be so worth it

[@ericataylortv]

bahaha I ordered that cowboy like me jacket because it’s my favorite song, it was my birthday and I don’t really do gifts, and I figured the $120 wasn’t so bad since I’m clearly not going to the tour, and shipping was free 😂 the only other thing that I almost fell for was the starlight pillow

[@Vintagestylewins]

Let me know what you think of the quality of coat etc plss ❤❤❤

[@noellehannibal]

It's nearly one AM and I am trying (and failing) to stifle my giggles. And you are only on Debut! Apologies to everyone sleeping in my house! 😂😂😂

[@folklorepotter]

i anticipate the weekly sunday videos more than alot of things in my life and you did not disappoint like expected

[@theswiftologist]

well yes!!!! xx

[@vedanshchn]

27:21 No offense to the fantastic song, but wearing a "Pathological People Pleaser" cap in public would give a "pick me" energy or a "Look I'm so good, others are so bad" vibe :/

[@justjoannak]

Agreed

[@asum-]

We all know Taylor needs to work with Kel Lauren for some iconic Swiftmas merch

[@Tom-vj3sp]

they done GOT me with the 1989 hoodie. they DONE GOT MEEEE

[@_rileyvictoria_]

I need it so bad but i just bought the 1989 grey hoodie😭

[@Bluesbobbles]

Nothing screams Christmas quite like a Taylor swift merch drop

[@claryy8]

How do you always know exactly what content to upload? Thank you Diva we all say in unison 💅

[@theswiftologist]

This was a suggestion from the discord 🩷🐍

[@OliverCurtis2010]

@@theswiftologist AMEN. THIS GODDDDESSSSSS IS LISTENING TO OUR PRAYERRSS

[@P0nyl0ve]

Zach "im deinfluencing you" also Zach with like half of the items "ohhh this is cuteeee" (dont worry we still love you)

[@lunawolf6288]

😂😂😂😂 too funny as a swiftie

[@owl.mp4]

You are so casually hilarious this whole video had me on the floor😭

[@muskaan3711]

Landfill Queen lmao Zach you have the best insults and comebacks 😂

[@megjournals]

Taylor knew you would make this roast and decided to delay the $50 basic candle 😂

[@devrajd.1958]

now where's the "I was reminiscing just the other day" coffee mug

[@b19wing_inslowmotion]

THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE THO

[@kitchensinkchronicles3272]

that would be perfect!! proof that every swiftie has better ideas than her merch team

[@ag98534]

They need us making the merch like the fans on Hacks

[@Starbuxlvr1313]

You never fail to make me laugh my ass off😂 Zach, the pink sweatshirt was made for you! 💕

[@shoshanaloomer]

One of my favorite videos is when you roasted her store, so I’m glad it’s back to roast the holiday collection!!

[@emmepemme95]

I’m sorry king, your de-influencing was too late. I have already sinned 😭😭😭 love the video as always though

[@ilovecupcakes654]

What did you get?

[@Drmartensbedeviled]

why am i cackling i cant with your roasting !!!!!! 😢😂😂😂😂 but the quality has been sup par 4 ever EXCePT the eras tour blue crewneck phenomenal

[@karenabianca]

"old towel from a nude resort" absolutely killed me!!!

[@Jvygudxut1234]

Not me unpacking my holiday drop package that just arrived and listening to you drag the products I already bought 😭

[@vitoriakreutzwerle]

So many starts EVERYWHERE, for every single era!!! She specifically picked all the lyrics that are somehow star related + added stars even where they didn’t even make sense

[@Crabluvrr]

I was IMPRESSED with the ornaments this year but I really cannot justify the end price. And last year when I ordered my ornaments came like… in march?😂

[@InMyRepEra.13]

One of my favorite videos you’ve done, I LOVE the honesty 😂 she did debut so dirty 😭. The micro plastic comments had me LOL

[@villyhsiao9491]

Window shopping on Taylor Swift’s merch is so relatable 😭😭😭

[@315._k7]

21:41 YES that pink looks sooo good on you, it brings out your eyes so much!

[@itspricila]

i was just thinking i wish zack would react taylors merch again, swiftologist always delivering

[@lizzylouisewoo]

you roasting the pouch when that was the only thing I wanted this entire drop series 😅😅😅😅

[@whiskeysfoxtrot824]

I think the pink WOULD look good on you, glad you bought it. With my skin tone red and black really highlight my rosacea, so the brown and yellow stuff is so needed

[@LimeSlimeee]

YESS your last Taylor merch roast video was one of my favorite 😩🛍

[@Landon_H]

I need you to do this more often. it won't stop me from buying but it's fun

[@MyRationalHypothesis]

Video idea: comparing Short n Sweet tour to Eras. Hat as handcuffs, surprise songs, surprise guests, nightly poses, nightly lyric changes (cam's lines vs juno nam), same outfits in different colors. Did taylor even invent those things? Were they done on tours before Eras?

[@alexandrite61]

Can't imagine they weren't tbh. They're such common ideas, probably just never caught on because other tours aren't on the level of popularity that Eras is. Sabrina herself has been doing the the lyric change with the outro nonsense since her last tour, too, so

[@Emmy-rw8yl]

As a newish swiftie (since 2020) I only own one piece of merch, eras tour hoodie. I live in a hotter country so I haven’t been able to wear it a lot yet so who knows how it’ll be in the long run but it’s simple and cute and I think her tour merch is a lot better than regular album merch. 💪 Edit : it never fails to make me laugh how the random girlies on Etsy have better merch designs than Taylor 🥲

[@theswiftologist]

Hmmmm idk about that !!

[@siddsawant2450]

pls make more vids like this. this was genuinely the funniest thing ive watched in so long

[@KK-pj1us]

Ugh I was really rooting for that “is it over now?” Sweater 😂

[@originalparafan]

That pink would absolutely compliment your warm brown hair and the depth of the pink is perfect for your more medium level of contrast. Pink and brown go really well together strangely enough.

[@TheLakesGirlie]

The way my jaw dropped when you started roasting everything I love everything on there

[@charlaehall1785]

Self Titled and Reputation = STAR

[@pip-pip5029]

Ooooo

[@jasmineberman2797]

lol I’m so happy you liked the Cruel Summer crewneck 😂😂💕💕 It was the only thing I ended up getting from this merch drop, and I adore it!! It’s my new favorite sweatshirt now

[@callmebykyuu]

I got the cowboy like me jacket and cososom hoodie I know they’re both insanely overpriced plus shipping to japan😭😭I’m buying them only because they’re my favorite songs and really didn’t expect them to be included on new merch

[@theswiftologist]

the chloe or sam hoodie is supppper cute

[@noorarif4905]

im sooo happy uploaded babe the way u talk silences my brain ily

[@thedivinefemme5285]

She got me on a few things. I picked up the Is it Over now hooodie, the Long Story Short letter ornament, and the TTPD typewriter ornament. I wanted the throne ornament, too, but it was sold out already.

[@spookysalem6684]

10:30 “baby tee, nobody likes u” that’s the only thing i bought from the collection😰 but it’s bc debut is my favorite album and mary’s song was my favorite when i was younger(and i just recently got my belly button pierced so baby tees r all i’ve been wearing so it’s an investment)

[@skyofbob]

the greatest thing i ever did was unsubscribe from taylor nation notifs

[@rachael96]

I love this so much 😂 you are saying what we’re thinkinggg. STOP THE INSANITY!

[@zintcala7513]

Having bought the Today Was A Fairytale shirt, I feel validated! I have a tan/warm skintone though, so I don‘t look dead in it.

[@agataborkowska3876]

Hi Zach, I think this pink sweatshirt will look good on you, you seem to be neutral toned and so is this shade of pink. also its gorgeus

[@CharlotteDevlin-qi6iq]

too late😭 i already got the gold rush pjs and the cowboy like me work jacket… it’s rare that my favorite album gets good looking merch

[@TheBejeweledSwiftie14]

I NEED Taylor to see this! We need more color and creativity!! (But not too much creativity if you know what I mean). This video really opened my eyes because I have been obsessing over everything, especially when I get catalogues for brands that I like.

[@cardiganweather]

For future reference, the pink looks good on you!