A Personal Relationship with Jesus

[@PhillipTweedy]

This so reminds me of the "They're not real Christians" argument that almost all Christians love to use so much.

[@nosferatu5]

+Phillip Tweedy Indeed, "Theyre not real Muslims" is giving christians a run for their money though. Who will come on top in this race.

[@ytxmak]

+Phillip Tweedy Ha ha that's right, any atheists who doesn't disbelieve in the same way as me, is not a REAL atheist ha ha

[@roomseven3044]

“That’s not REAL communism”

[@andreahughes5042]

No true Scotsmen fallicy is used by most Abrahamic religions. "They aren't true Muslims and christans strange enough I don't hear the Jewish saying that...

[@theelite9275]

@@andreahughes5042 actually jews also say that

[@ansuz5903]

The one guy is called Phil Atelist. A philatelist is someone who enjoys collecting stamps. The channel is called NonStampCollector. Thats a big brain joke right there.

[@brokenrecord3523]

no shit

[@ansuz5903]

@@brokenrecord3523 Ooh wee Im this guy who knows everything about everything! Can I please have your children?

[@brokenrecord3523]

@@ansuz5903 look in the mirror much?

[@ansuz5903]

@@brokenrecord3523 I do. Im quite proud of my strong jawline. I've also been working out a bit so my physique is decent. Used to be kinda chubby but now Im looking slim.

[@brianjones8899]

@@ansuz5903 Haha!! Very nice!! I always thought Atelist was just an approximation of atheist.

[@Jacob7393]

"Phil, Jesus doesn't like to be tested like that, okay? He won't give any sort of-" "No, no such thing as hell, Phil." "Yes, he just told me there's a real hell." Lmao ded

[@sqeptical2307]

You’ve got to come out of retirement and make more videos, they’re literally all gold! Help us NonStampCollector, you’re our only hope.

[@NonStampCollector]

"NonStampCollector"?.... That's a name I haven't heard since....

[@Rachael.orbzz1]

@@NonStampCollector w e n e e d y o u

[@tfthief4931]

@@NonStampCollector Come back ;-;

[@wellfindheavenineachother]

TF Thief he’s back lets goo

[@darbylynch9391]

NonStampCollector omgggggggggggg pleaseeeeeeee we need you in these dark times!

[@roddydykes7053]

"Do you think we evolved from nothing by random chance, and the Big Bang" lmao that is seriously the first place creationists go when pressed isn't it

[@NonStampCollector]

+Roddy Dykes Still. And this vid was made in about 2008.

[@genessab]

+NonStampCollector I'm going to keep asking you to make new videos

[@krise4000]

sounds about as dumb as a big bang doesn't it LOL

[@richyrich6099]

Big Bang is actually supported by evidence, so not really.

[@williamwilliam4944]

+Kris E The Big Bang is more plausible than a magical sky wizard that created everything LOL

[@RadioactiveSand]

258 people don't have a close personal relationship with Jesus.

[@trashhuman3977]

I believe you mean 258 people HAVE a close personal relationship with Jesus.

[@nathanpatera9836]

David Kutz did you even watch the video?

[@bookwermofthefandoms]

285 now...

[@mypetcrow9873]

RadioactiveSand No. Those are the people who hallucinate that they do.

[@mypetcrow9873]

RadioactiveSand 291 don’t give a fuck.

[@NonStampCollector]

Thank you. In many ways this is one of my own favorites.

[@johnchesterfield9726]

You’re welcome👍

[@michaelsbeverly]

Insanely brilliant. Could be a full feature 2 hour movie of Christians arguing about every single topic. "Oh course there's a trinity, it's completely clear." "Well....actually..." lol this comedy never gets old, really.

[@LarsPallesen]

If all the Christians who claim to talk to Jesus on a regular basis really had the ability to ask Jesus questions and receive answers, New Testament scholars would be all over them like a rash! They have hundreds of questions about Jesus they would love to get answered. For some reason they don't seem to consider these millions of people with a "personal relationship with Jesus" good sources for basic information about Jesus. Not even Christian scholars seem to be interested in what these supposed close friends of Jesus have to say after their many conversations with him. Isn't that curious? How hard would it be to ask 10 Christians to ask Jesus a few basic questions the next time they "talk to Jesus" and then compare their answers? Like "how many siblings did you have and what were their names?" Simple questions with unambiguous answers.

[@dozer1323]

I was talking to Jesus today, he told me he's against fiat currency and wants our money backed by gold

[@LarsPallesen]

@@dozer1323 Did he also tell you to render those gold coins to Caesar?

[@dozer1323]

@@LarsPallesen Out of context!

[@CaliforniaSurfer-gc2xv]

Did he mention he's not Happy his FOLLOWERS aren't EUNUCHS like he COMMNADED

[@baxterrhodes7542]

I love how they all can only agree on how they are the only ones who know Jesus, and that people should only listen to them.

[@TuyenPham-jm5eq]

Baxter, that's how Satan works. He confuses everyone by creating thousands of counterfeit churches, doctrines, and ways of worship. The only way to defeat this deception is to get back to the original, and I pray that you will find this path.

[@joecurran2811]

Haha, so true.

[@leviangel97]

@@TuyenPham-jm5eq The main point is: won't every path feel like the truth?

[@TuyenPham-jm5eq]

My friend McPeeperson, Yes, every path feels like the truth, but feel like the truth does not make a path true . Jesus is the only true path for he leads us to a place where he comes from. Others pointed out to their followers places where they themselves have never been.

[@andythomas4998]

I've heard tell that when you sincerely and earnestly pray to this god, in the name of his son Jesus... you're somehow praying to the devil and that Jesus, god AND the holy spirit are implied to not be able to stop this usurping... When you're trying to reach one and get the other... should not be possible if there were any all powerful being that expects prayers. If it's that much easier to reach the devil without doing complicated satanic rituals then flying fire breathing dragons with pitchforks should be everywhere...

[@riparianlife97701]

Being a Christian is like sitting through a move with your eyes closed in the hopes of getting your money back on the way out. - A Whitney Brown

[@louistournas120]

+Docktor Jim It is more like paying for a car but you don't get the car until you die. You will get the car in an afterlife. Also, if you don't pay now, you can't pay later in the afterlife. In the afterlife, you will get beaten up with baseball bats forever.

[@riparianlife97701]

louis tournas If Christians actually believed in heaven, they'd do all the most dangerous things they could think of, with no protection. They should dance and wave their arms around and grin while singing joyful songs about how Stalin sent all those Christians to heaven early.

[@sunsolace5831]

+Docktor Jim Actually, lots of Christians believe that you go to Heaven based on good works, or how many people are saved when they follow God. Their version of YOLO is preaching in public or laying hands on ppl to heal em.

[@riparianlife97701]

Sun Solace That Bible contradicts itself on that issue, like all others. It's all about the verses you choose to emphasize, and the verses you choose to ignore.

[@sunsolace5831]

+Docktor Jim Mmm, lots of people say that. Bear with me if you will" It's not about good works of the person, like donating to a charity, but rather letting having a friendship with God and letting him work in the person, which produces fruit. The 'fruit' comes from knowing the King. Does this contradict any Bible verses? :)

[@KevinChantal]

I talked to Jesus a few minutes ago he said Amazing video and great channel

[@dozer1323]

This guy is lying I was talking to Jesus and he told he he is working around the clock to get this video taken down

[@justsomejoyousj]

@@dozer1323 I spoke to Jesus, just now. He said you were talking to someone else

[@Former_Pastor]

@@dozer1323 🤣 he failed....as usual

[@sumejividi6663]

These comments. W

[@albertskoften1452]

@@justsomejoyousj I recently received word from the demon Dozer was talking to, and he assures me that he actually does go to the same yoga class as Jesus, and hence was well informed and faithful in his impersonation.

[@rrpostalagain]

The whole "personal relationship" is such twaddle. How they can say that with a straight face is beyond me.

[@timq6224]

you actually say it until you believe it, then once you believe it, it makes you feel special. It takes a long time after that to realize that you don't really need an imaginary friend to feel special about yourself. Religion has stalled the advancement of mankind for centuries.

[@LarsPallesen]

It certainly redefines both the words "personal" and "relationship". I wonder how many people would just nod and smile approvingly if I tell them that I have a personal relationship with Emperor Augustus? He's a contemporary of Jesus, he's dead like Jesus and he too was made a God, so it shouldn't be all that different, right?

[@Rachael.orbzz1]

@gherrrie u belIvE in fairy tails I don't really think he's the stupid one 👁️👄👁️ I have a close relationship with santa clause AND NO ONE WILL CHANGE MY MIND LMFAO

[@Rachael.orbzz1]

@Friday Night LMFAO real existence Enlighten me Hmm people can't walk on water People can come back to life after three days dead People can't simply get pregnant CorrectioN VIRGINS CAN'T simply get pregnant without using materials and chemicals But ur bible Doesn't say that Hmmm

[@Rachael.orbzz1]

@@GoldenApple3528 aww thanks mate, But if u excuse me I'll continue to burn my friend an stuff her in a cat corps cause thanos told me too (By the way u should convert)

[@ReachSkyla]

its funny because jesus actually never mentions anything about gay people. he actually curses a fig tree. so technically jesus hates figs.

[@ReachSkyla]

Yehudi Menuhin He knows the old laws, but he doesn't say anything DIRECTLY about homosexuality. If you are implying that jesus was against gays because of the old laws then he was also pro-slavery and he actually does directly talk about slaves obeying their master. I'm not saying that jesus was for or against homosexuals its just he never said anything about it. But christians are there saying he did say something about homosexuals when in reality he sad more about slaves than gays, which Christians are quick to deny. Isn't the bible just the wonderful book of multiple choice? XD

[@ReachSkyla]

Yehudi Menuhin it certainly is a possibility that he was given he is meant to be god in flesh, who was against homosexuals too. which its funny that people want to sweep OT under the rug for NT with meek jesus, who is just the angry yahweh in a flesh suit.

[@Grimeaper]

I am a bit tired so I use my favorite response (when I am tired) when christians try to wiggle away from the old testament using jesus. Matthew 5:18-19King James Version (KJV) 18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. 19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. Luke 16:17King James Version (KJV) 17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. Matthew 5:17King James Version (KJV) 17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. 2 Peter 1:20-21King James Version (KJV) 20 Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. 21 For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost So the old and new is to be upheld and the bible is to be taken literally, that is what that says. So everything in the bible,homophobia, rape, slavery etc. is completely true, and jesus is there to uphold the old as well as the new. And now release the christians kraken.

[@lokiragnarok7616]

Grim reaper thank you i only knew of the Mattew 17,18-19 verses.

[@crescendo5594]

Hahaha Jesus hates figs.

[@burningheart2909]

Why so many different churches if there's only one Jesus who speaks Truth to all their pastors? Never had a clear answer yet.

[@jilliansmith7123]

Oh, Burning Heart, you KNOW the answer. Allow yourself to realize that you know it--you knew it long ago.

[@christopherparks4342]

Im not religious but dude, thats and easy one to answer. "Humans are flawed." Thats all it takes, these people have all interpreted the scripture to the best of their ability and people are flawed so there are some differences. Thats the answer you will get and it isnt illogical. They accept that humans can never understand the thoughts of God, so they also accept room for interpretation. They can use "humans are flawed" to deflect a lot

[@timq6224]

@@christopherparks4342 -- except the "humans are flawed" argument literally emasculates their God. God has the power to tell his followers personally (he did just that in the old testament) yet chooses to allow the confusion and chaos to continue. Allowing the flawed humans to continue to bastardize his own religion means he either doesn't exist or doesn't care. You don't hire an electrical engineer to fix a leaky pipe!

[@christopherparks4342]

@@timq6224 i didnt say it was a good argument. That's just what they'll say. Then they'll combat your point with the free will thing and you'll end up going round in circles. Speaking logically with believers is an exercise in futility. I suggest it only as a means to develop patience.

[@timq6224]

@@christopherparks4342 -- even so, freewill precludes the ability to ONLY make choices that are set before you. If God didn't want people to choose to use cocaine, then he wouldn't allow it to exist. God literally allows the manifold pitfalls to be set before humans in order to trip them up. Everything a christain tries to say to justify their God just makes their God look more like a complete dick.

[@randomdaveguy]

That's amazing. after years of being a Christian myself I had the exact same conversations and the exact same final conclusion.

[@ShroomheadOne]

So, if Jesus is the creator of all life, and gay people exist, doesn't that mean he would have to have made these people gay in the first place? Sorry, it always gets so messy when you bring magic into the equation.

[@ProfitEli]

Thats why my gas ass would never believe in god

[@TheRealMake-Make]

That's what hurricanes are for. And earthquakes. Perfect Yahweh made imperfect creatures which he destroys via magic.

[@marleyrobertson6417]

Make-Make And what is funny is Christians who believe this way, fail to realize Christians live in these same areas and are also killed in the hurricanes or earthquakes sent by god to kill the sinners.

[@TheRealMake-Make]

Marley robertson A little misrepresentation of statistics is fair play in fundamentalist circles. What I don't get is why God doesn't use volcanoes to kill nonbelievers here in the Midwestern states...he only kills nonbelievers who reside on or along the ring of fire in this way. He also rarely sends tornadoes out of tornado alley to kill the liberals, and hurricanes tend to stay far away from the North Dakota homosexuals. This is a little disappointing to me. An awesome God should not spare gays just because they live in an area that isn't recognized by the scientific cult as "likely to have a volcanic eruption." This just gives more credence to science and less to God.

[@sunsolace5831]

+Shroomhead One Abominations exist because man had power over nature and they gave God the metaphorical finger. This threw nature out of whack and allowed Satan to have some twisted fun with it.

[@illuminatimasterthor7745]

NonStampCollector, can you make more videos.

[@NonStampCollector]

Illuminati Master Thor I was going to, but since you left the question mark out of your question, I'm not.

[@illuminatimasterthor7745]

NonStampCollector NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[@NonStampCollector]

I am merciful. My new video will be uploaded next weekend.

[@illuminatimasterthor7745]

NonStampCollector YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Hey, you would make a much better god than Yahweh.

[@NonStampCollector]

I'm sorry, I forgot to mention the caveat, I'm only going to be able to put up the video because I became an ant and burnt the shit out of myself with a magnifying glass in order to appease myself over your punctuation error. You need to start thanking me for doing that and singing songs about the fact that I exist. If you don't do that, and watch my video anyway, it means you're a shit person through and through. What were you saying about me being a better god than Yahweh?

[@SonyaDlivingwithlupus]

Absolutely perfect. You summed up the whole "personal relationship with Jesus" perfectly. I've subscribed! Very good and keep it up.

[@olefredrikskjegstad5972]

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one - I in them and you in me - *so that they may be brought to complete unity.* Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." - The Gospel of John, Chapter 17, verses 20-23 (emphasis added). Jesus prayed for the unity of his followers, and staked his own reputation on it, too. Christians have never been united. Since the very beginning of Christianity there have been feuding factions within this "one faith". The most fantastically failed prayer in history.

[@bruh-sf4gw]

Ok so not only does Jesus have to prey to himself seeing that he's actually a form of God but his prayers aren't even answered?

[@desmondgentle1474]

The news anchor's name was Phil Atelist... like philatelist... a stamp collector. This man is a genius.

[@ansuz5903]

Im glad Im not the only one with a swole brain

[@atomisedman6235]

@@ansuz5903 Giga brain

[@whoareyouyouareclearlylost323]

.....

[@maryrogers6316]

Only one phrase missing "I HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT AND YOU DON'T! Nana Nana, Na Na...

[@MastaSmack]

"If you don't watch your back, people are scheming on you, sporting all the things you lack" - 311.

[@nixodian]

With >40k denominations and interpretations, there must be hundreds of thousands of Jesus's! Jeez!

[@averageskeletonremover2415]

I believe the plural of that would be Jesi. Much like cactus and cacti.

[@oldassaccount9157]

@@averageskeletonremover2415Do you call mice “meese”

[@Alex-cx6rm]

One Jesus,different interpretations.

[@michaelnewell6385]

Only in the Bible could a man stand next to a naked woman and be tempted by fruit.

[@matthewkudray4840]

Well the woman ate the fruit first

[@spongebobexistentialpants2747]

Adam: What's for dinner eve? Eve: Anything. Adam: What does that mean exactly? Eve: Just take this.. (hands over for bidden fruit) *and here we are. Don't ask a woman what she wants to eat dammit.

[@MrCyclist]

Fifteen years later and this is priceless and enjoyable.

[@Cat_Woods]

This is the thing that is so embarrassing after you leave -- to realize that you sincerely believed you were having a relationship with a fictional character.

[@arya6085]

I actually have a close and personal relationship with NonStampCollector and he says that a new video is coming soon Edit: holy shit I was right. I am now a prophet

[@Smenchevieve]

I actually have a close personal relationship with Arya Khonsari who actually has a close personal relationship with NonStampCollector and said that he said that a new video is coming soon

[@OpqHMg]

Years later, still painfully relevant. You're better at being relevant and truthful than the Abrahamic God, that's for sure. ;)

[@wafflingmean4477]

Well he talks for one thing, so he's already ahead of god.

[@foxcell21]

People are dumb, and people wrote the Bible, so even a child can predict how people will always be dumb

[@tedgrant2]

I have a personal relationship with Jesus and he wants to throw us all in a furnace of fire.

[@r.alexander9075]

Well I talked to him the other day and he told me it was a cauldron of boiling oil, ita clear you arent speaking with jesus

[@tedgrant2]

@@r.alexander9075 I know it was Jesus because he gave me the secret password.

[@r.alexander9075]

@@tedgrant2 i have talked with him just now, and he loves us all so he doesnt even need a password to speak to us

[@tedgrant2]

@@r.alexander9075 He does for the secrets that only his true disciples can receive. (Matthew 13:13)

[@spongebobexistentialpants2747]

@@tedgrant2 only those with the secret handshake AND the password are privey to the real answers. Ps the password is "I deny the holy spirit" and the secret handshake is done in private (solo) 😉

[@lugnut1827]

This channel is more of a blessing than anything Jesus ever did.

[@DCSMustang]

HAHA and if jesus was actually real they'd all go to hell anyways because they lied about being friend with him...

[@blenderfoto]

"relationship"

[@andrewprahst]

Do you even know how Christianity works

[@Doriesep6622]

Exactly. Especially when they evoke Pascal's Wager. Like God's so dumb they'll just bet in case it's true. Of course if it is all true, the real victim here is God, having to spend eternity with low IQ ass kissers.

[@bananadog6420]

Andrew Prahst Talk to 100 Christians and get 100 different versions of Christianity.

[@edgeisloveedgeislife5439]

DCS given the biblical God, much more likely Jesus was actually telling them all different things to make the suckers argue, he's omni-malevolent after all.

[@dolnick7]

I don't know how you came up with this series but they are simply fantastic!

[@bademantil6046]

damn, this is my new favorite youtube channel

[@TheeOK1]

Bade Mantil too bad he disappeared

[@Gargoyle_Guy]

I always wonder why is it a politician says that they pray for answers to things, i.e. talk to their invisible friend in the sky, that people don't flee in terror because those people are clearly insane.

[@gatewaytobeing]

Another brilliant masterpiece. Gotta love it when people who believe in Jesus think they are qualified to speak about what He thinks/wants/would say, especially when their projections are nothing short of hateful judgments of others. The height of arrogance and self-delusion! WWLD?

[@muttleycrew]

“Yeah Phil, I’ve never seen a dog give birth to a non-dog so you don’t know what you’re talking about” Pure gold

[@JMUDoc]

One question I would like to ask these people: can you tell me something about Jesus that I can't read for myself in the Bible? If you can't, why should I think you are any more in a relationship with Jesus than is somebody with Barack Obama who has merely read his memoirs?

[@TheSmugFrog]

Oh they have lots to tell you that isn’t written in the Bible - Kenneth Copeland and Kat Kerr come to mind, they claim to have daily interactions and “words of wisdom” given to them.

[@thefunpolice]

I love this video. Conceived and excecuted brilliantly and crammed with good lines. _He eats meat for breakfast_ gets me every time.

[@NonStampCollector]

I recycled that line into the video I made in 2021.

[@ronjohnson2150]

That has got to be the best I've seen so far! That was really good.

[@digitalbookworm5678]

It's been almost 6 years and still 250 people think THEY really know Jesus.(or they don't like having it pointed out to them that they don't really know Jesus)

[@carerforever2118]

Or believe that Jesus whom is God is a sun according to the Bible Psalm 84 :11 For the Lord God is a sun 🌞 John 8 :12 I am the Light of the world🌞 Malachi 4:2 Sun of righteousness 🌞 That's why they put a picture of the Sun on some the Bibles instead of a drawing of Jesus. The Old Testmement was written in Hebrew, Hebrew word for Sun is Shemash, Shemash was the Sun-God of the Sumerians and the Babylonians in 2,100 BC. That's why Christians worship on a SUNday🌞, they worship a ancient Sun-God and don't even know it🤣

[@jimscobie6646]

It's like creating an imaginary friend. You get to decide how and what it thinks.

[@danielastorga2296]

"But all of them are wrong, and I'm right"- literally all Christians

[@Ghost.ofaStag.1976]

It’s amazing to me how these videos are so simple yet so well put together and thought out :)

[@caiogracco9129]

GENIUS! Excellent text, superb voice editing.

[@Correctrix]

Ten years ago, it was ridiculous to suggest that three associates of the POTUS could get totally contradictory info from him, as though he were insanely erratic and/or deceitful. Now, in 2019...

[@wintig24]

Whenever people tell me Christianity is a relationship with God, my response is "well I'm not ready for that relationship". Gets them to think for a moment.

[@NonStampCollector]

"No thanks, God, I'm taking some time to get to know myself right now. It's "me time"."

[@ミコムみこむ]

*THIS IS AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION I HAD WITH MY SISTER:* Me: Hey! Her:Yes? Me: The Christian Museum's dolphins are being targeted by the government- Her:No suprise. Me: Yeah, and they're wanting advice on how to save them. Her: Well, let Jesus deal with it. Me: But they want them to pray to God before they give advice. Her:I did. Me:Just now? Her: Yes Me: That fast? Her:Yes. Me:About the Museum. Her:Yes Me: *it's fake... I just made it up...* Her: What?

[@TheRareOcelot]

Congrats you and your sister made a joke?

[@Vyloka]

@@TheRareOcelotHe just proved jesus is fake, jesus likes screwing with people for the funny, or his sister isnt actually a believer. Take your pick.

[@aldeybrutus4109]

I don’t get it

[@davidhoffman6980]

Dang man, this is the best religious satire gag since the scene in Life of Brian where Brian's followers found his shoe and tried to interpret what it meant.

[@lillily4655]

1:04 it was at this moment... I realized this video is 14 years old lol

[@Steveman27]

It was at this moment, I read your comment and realized that this video is now 15 years old.

[@piehound]

This is a clear CUT case of applying the wisdom of Solomon. I say cut each person who claims to have a relationship with Jesus in half and then.....NAH that won't work either. I give up !

[@chrisworth2102]

I think you might be on to something there. LOL

[@zemorph42]

No! hook them up to an FMRI, and ask them to talk to Jesus. If any of them truly did have a relationship in the way they think they do, you would see two different brainwave patterns in one brain. Sure the presence of that second pattern is more likely a sign of dissociative identity disorder, or, some other mental disorder, but its absence, which would be far more prevalent, would be definitive evidence of the null hypothesis in those cases.

[@FinnReinhardt]

More than glad I stumbled upon this channel! :)

[@rexvermis]

Would anyone else just fucking love to see a president who loves Death Metal? That'd be the bitch'nest thing ever!

[@TheSPazCORE]

The president of Indonesia does.

[@antitheist3206]

TheSPazCORE That's so cool.

[@JerboyLupisan]

TheSPazCORE I was going to say the same thing.

[@jack3775]

God no.

[@dogless10]

And this was a panel of only three of the hundreds of xian sects, to say nothing of the thousands of other religions...

[@norcodaev]

I swear, my recommended section is filled with youtubes useless recommended videos like “top 10 bridges in western Arizona” and it takes me like 5 years to find these great videos on my own. C’mon youtube! -nothing against bridges, Arizona or top 10 lists, but I’d much rather they recommend this type of content to me.

[@ToutCQJM]

NonStampCollector’s videos are just as awesome and as valid as the day he uploaded them.

[@deelaw.]

this feels like an even more budget version of south park and I love it

[@michalbotor]

funny how christians chuckle when their kids still believe in santa, yet they find it perfectly normal to pray to their version of the santa every single night.

[@clemstevenson]

If your invisible friend is named Harvey, you’ll find yourself in a funny farm. If, on the other hand, you have an invisible friend named Jesus Christ, that’d be considered acceptable.

[@wdsbhb]

I’m certainly glad that a deity who would torment me forever if I make the wrong decision has provided me with enough information to make this decision.

[@coolhat8517]

Hilarious...and sobering. That is exactly the way it is.

[@urbman29]

SOBERING.

[@brasso4u]

I'm thankful for jezuz because it gives me something to yell out when I stub my toe real bad, or when I see my neighbor's kid scraping the snow off my new car with a coal shovel. Usually it's just a simple 'jezuz', but if the situation warrants it, like if some girl I just banged tells me she's knocked up, then I might go with 'jezuz h christ'.

[@tsopmocful1958]

My grandmother thought that saying 'jesus wept' was worse than saying 'fuck', but as a kid, I just couldn't see why jesus with a broom was such a big problem for her.

[@BartAlder]

Jezuz told me that the H stands for Herberto and anyone who says otherwise will burn in Hellberto.

[@ibrahimsalah3232]

John 10:16 "... and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd." This has never materialized. One can easily understand how a book as inconsistent as the Bible has given rise to more that fifteen hundred separate Christian denominations. We have the Catholic Church, Protestantism, the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Oriental Orthodoxy, non-trinitarian Restorationism, Independent Catholicism and so on. The deficiency lies not so much with the preachers as the book from which they preach.

[@byteme9718]

Agreed, it's as stupid as the Quran.

[@bobbybee2975]

Great as usual, keep up the good work.

[@lightningfirst689]

I got an ad on this video for a ministry that was trying to prove that their interpretation of the Bible is the correct one. I'd say you can't make this stuff up, except... *people literally just made this stuff up!*

[@adamc1966]

So true.

[@DoesNotConcernYou]

I love these videos you made soo much. I was working for a man who did a lot of preaching and you nailed all his talking points. Nearly verbatim!

[@lapissheepz8741]

12 years later, I only now understand the Phil Atelist joke.

[@FactStorm]

"A Personal Relationship with Jesus" The most delusional shit a theist says, whenever I hear this I make sure to run away from that person as far as I could.

[@robertomondello2447]

"Christianity is not a religion or a cult, but a relaptionship with Jesus" Yeah, a messed up relaptionship

[@Kilmoran]

These bits are timeless because the bullshit never changes.

[@valentine3725]

Actually, I know Jesus. He's my high school friend. His full name is Joshua Christo De Jesus. He's actually a pretty chill guy.

[@phillipmoore9012]

Thanks on the intro notes. The different voices is exactly what I was wondering about. The "Ray Comfort" voice you do is especially good. I thought there was nine voices, but the other two are probably the two in my head.

[@YTho-ev1ej]

I remember when I was a young lad I used to think there was a god that loved me and I was special in his own eyes. I was told that we could speak with god and seek guidance. I never once received the slightest revelation, guidance or any evidence he was there. How I'm not a lunatic so I didn't hear any god so I knew it was just an idea in my head. And just like an imaginary, kids grow out of it, unless your schizophrenic. I knew that it is ridiculous to think my version of god, out of 4000+ other versions is correct. Theism really is stupid. Some people just can't let go however. They can't let go of that childhood idea that they depend on so much. They rely on "god" for mental strength and morality. Any atheist is one who is mentally strong and morally sound by them self. They don't need a "god" or a book for this. Religion was created by man.

[@5655nasir]

me too! sorry for replying 5 years late but i found this really relatable

[@sim5790]

I go to a Christian school and in Christian studies I always test the teacher on what we are learning and the teacher gives out rewards for contribution and she never gives me one even though I contributed

[@SheevPalpatine66420]

The pursuit of knowledge without reward is a virtue

[@pop5678eye]

Did you notice god agrees with your interpretation of your holy book pretty much 100% of the time? What a miracle!

[@lusimmons4982]

Love these videos. True story. I was a Christian (bigotted slave) for 25 yrs. My relatives are still Christian's (self imposed delusion and bondage) and for yrs sent me religious emails. Finally after yrs of ignoring them they stopped sending them (all of them) after I sent them a couple of these lol. Awesome. none of my religious friends like these lol.

[@ToutCQJM]

NonStampCollector, you're simply awesome!

[@ssppeellll]

Brilliant, NSC. Thanks for another great one!

[@mamamheus7751]

So spot on. So many sects, so few brain cells ;-)

[@Moogri2]

But it is possible for three people to have a common friend, but have wildly different views about him, his views and his character. People change, and someone who knows the person from their childhood could just be remembering old behaviors and parts of that person. Unfortunately, one of God's supposed characteristics is that he is unchanging.

[@artica7842]

Moogri2 Bingo!

[@loodwig]

Well said. The only reconciliation I could submit would be that the theology has necessarily evolved with further scrutiny. But even that seems like a reach. A belief in the divine is difficult when confronted with the philosophical dilemma of existentialism versus mystical supernatural wonder mixed with a massive amount of tradition. I'd say it's like loving a kid that's not like you and continues to exhibit childish behavior. Then again, I refer to the old testament as the Star Wars prequels: not worth viewing, plausibly cannon, full of plot holes, poorly acted, not worth watching, mysteriously popular, and not worth watching. And even the original trilogy doesn't stand up to scrutiny when viewed as a whole. But man, those three scenes with Han and Luke and Vayder are awesome.

[@bujaboy7665]

This! This is literally what they do, Contradicting one another. 😭😂😂

[@zaodedong9935]

If Jesus loved Death Metal, maybe I would go back.

[@houseson]

Omg, this is awesome. After watching a lot of debates, etc, this is fun.

[@supergreatoli2]

Thank you for this video NSC! I have chapel every Friday in my school and I hate it when the pastor says "and Jesus told me to take that opportunity"

[@andystokes8702]

Love it - the only thing that three Christians from different denominations can agree on is that their personal interpretation is correct and everybody else is wrong. There are around 3,000 different denominations and all of them think they have it right and the other 2,999 are wrong.

[@sffsf81]

I am christian and my intepretation is correct. And most other "christians" are wrong.

[@ps-lt2jf]

5:21 if he doesn't want to be tested then why are the three of you even here....

[@mfvicli]

Binging your videos today to celebrate Easter.

[@BearFruit90]

I never had 1 christian properly explain to me about this issue. They all run away at that question.

[@colejames423]

It usually just ends up with a “we all agree on the most important aspect so the details are unimportant” type answer. Not real satisfying

[@gregorystartzel4573]

When this video first came out I was a hardcore Pentecostal. Now I’m a fan of death metal and friend to gay people.

[@nerktwin]

Got a PureFlix ad before this 😂 Ironic

[@AmosTheTalented]

Damn it, man, that last outburst made me spit out my soda!

[@Cdaddyx1212]

This is my favorite video yet and oh so true... Love it! Please keep making these!

[@DoggoWillink]

Another great video. I can't believe I missed this channel for so long.

[@Violent2aShadow]

Jesus never married and always hung out with 12 dudes...like all the time. Go ahead... Tell me that doesn't sound gay.

[@hullie7529]

Yeah, it makes you sound pretty gay.

[@TheArkman360]

Pretty sure there was a Brazilian film on Netflix that got into controversy because it portrayed Jesus as gay

[@Khantia]

To the people who communicate with Jesus: what accent does he have?

[@PourLeCorps]

This video is ahead of it’s time.

[@NonStampCollector]

Is that a polite way of saying it's really old?

[@PourLeCorps]

@@NonStampCollector no, it’s still very applicable to today’s issues.

[@MetalEddie00]

I know you're busy and therefore not currently putting out videos, but I still wanted to subscribe in order to show support. A lot of us are asking you to make new videos, and that would be awesome, but absolutely focus on yourself and your family first. We'll always be here whenever you're ready, and you've already given us a ton of awesome videos. Hope all is well, NSC!

[@new_skyspirit]

I've been on the internet for just 9 seconds and this has to be the funniest thing I have ever seen.

[@Lord_Skeptic]

hell does exist. it is in norway. it is always freezing over. god exists aswell. it is in hungry.

[@Todayisnotwednesday]

Jesus just told me that he isn’t real

[@Coalemos]

I have a profound relationship with Jesus. If you want to be saved by the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ then get down on your knees and start pleasing Jesus then you shall feel his salvation all over your face. I don't know about anyone else but I need Jesus in my life because I just want to feel him deep inside me.

[@joaquinaugusto625]

You have no idea,how funny did that sound in my head

[@Coalemos]

You know, Jesus, I've been thinking a lot about you lately and... well... that's why I wrote this song. I love you, Jesus I want you to walk with me I'll take good care of ya, baby Call you my baby, baby You died for my sins And you know that I would die for you, right? What's the matter, baby? You're tremblin' Jesus, ba-baaaaaayyyy Your love Is my light You know when I'm without you there's a black hole in my life Oh-oooh I want to believe It's all right But I get lonely in the night And it's up to you to save me Jesus, baby South Park Faith +1

[@DuckInGameStop]

Well he better not go deep inside ME without consent!

[@SUGAR_XYLER]

last time i saw Jesus he was working at a tech store

[@pabloparedes7732]

My friend, your videos are pure gold. Well done.