A Plague Tale: Innocence (Zero Punctuation)

This week Yahtzee reviews A Plague Tale: Innocence.
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[@theescapist]

Watch the E3 2019 Zero Punctuation a week early at the link: www.escapistmagazine.com/v2/2019/06/19/zero-punctuation-e3-2019/

[@aa-pv5iv]

You’re not first 👇🏽

[@toelintetch635]

Firstly: Rats are adorable even if I did sometimes lie awake at night wondering if they my own pet ones were secretly conspiring to rip my supple flesh from my bones while I lay vulnerable beneath my bed sheets. Secondly: You should read "The Rats" by James Herbert I get the impression you would enjoy his work. Then you should read "Lair" and "Domain" the sequels because the second one is hilarious and the third one is set in a post apocalyptic setting which was adapted into a terrible film that did no justice to the book. Thirdly: I get the distinct Impression you dislike rats...all the more reason to read James Herbert's books.

[@MasterCharlie104]

Are we getting a stream today or does Yahtzee still need time to recover from E3?

[@Dice12K]

I'm just praying that either next week or the week after that, Yahtzee reviews Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night.

[@sidharthk8565]

Review Pathologic 2, you coward. I double dare you.

[@Balsiefen]

2:14 Lets be fair though: Medieval France actually did need a teenage girl to save it from being conquered. I'd say it's pretty accurate.

[@Bird_Dog00]

Yes, but fortunately, Amicia isn't into religious delusions...

[@physe8052]

Clever!

[@badwinkles7896]

Damn.

[@paranoidleviathan3016]

Joan was dope af, to bad she essentially was betrayed to make peace. Getting burned and all the jazz.

[@TheDiscoGenre]

Bird_Dog You fedoras are as bad as the religious fundies.

[@BJWeNeedUDefendingUsWithZeMG42]

A game where you play as a small child escorting a small bird or a hedgehog sounds like a prototypical indie game waiting to happen.

[@Johnny_Shields]

Or just the average JRPG.

[@thebackofdoctormanhattanshead]

Sounds kind of like Ico to me

[@KrissFliss]

Well we have one game with a child and a huge "animal" called The Last Guardian.

[@MegaChickenfish]

Already done, A Bird Story. (good game actually. Well, good story-based walking simulator at any rate.)

[@mmy2k48]

You could argue that this is a good portion of the plot of Sonic Adventure

[@LordDeathwing17]

“Her family gets slaughtered by a branch of the Inquisition, whom we most certainly did NOT expect” That made me laugh.

[@PowerBottom3000]

"Is Plague, in a sense, a horror game?" lol.

[@CharalamposKoundourakis]

He's a wordsmith.

[@oomfoof7294]

I also like how he said "breast high wall" instead of "chest high wall".

[@onimaxblade8988]

Are we talking Plague of Gripes? Cause in that case: Sure, that's about right.

[@TheBaesment]

God damn it I'm so dense. Totally missed it.

[@PowerBottom3000]

@@TheBaesment I heard it and said... "wait a tick" and rewinded to make sure

[@nicklager1666]

I wondered what happened to that knife wielding hedgehog from your Rage review. Glad he found work.

[@Eisaku2]

@@hydra7427 Clearly, just look at the Sonic movie

[@AlejandroSilva-mr7yy]

Serious hairy dad is my favorite type of lesbian roleplay

[@nullpoint3346]

I'm confused, can you please define?

[@AlejandroSilva-mr7yy]

@@nullpoint3346 when my gf be cheating on me with her gf, I like to watch while one of them puts a fake beard made from my shaven back hair and roleplays a serious hairy dad protecting the other one. They never really fuck, just scream at each other and brood over killing imaginary zombies, but it sure as hell gets me going I tell you

[@brianvu764]

Alejandro Silva ahh makes sense

[@ryanallen2001]

@@AlejandroSilva-mr7yy relateable.

[@swivelshivel6576]

Alejandro Silva I just came thinking about it

[@Knoloaify]

"Seek vengeance for Agincourt" You mean "Castillon", mon ami Yassie. HONHONHONHON

[@ccotunai]

Honhonhon gets me any time in any context :))

[@chexmixkitty]

@@ccotunai is that the French hahaha?

[@ccotunai]

@@chexmixkitty allegedly, that's how some french would express pretentious laughter is writing. The brazilian Jajajajaja is a close second :))

[@hukama6911]

@@ccotunai xaxaxa

[@Knoloaify]

@@NihilistAlien Je suis Français, imbécile.

[@NostraFnDamus]

"Seek vengeance for Agincourt"? The English absolutely decimated the French at Agincourt.

[@Bird_Dog00]

That's the joke.

[@JosephHutzulak]

That's what sprang into my head, I'm pretty sure the English won that one.

[@NotHPotter]

I'm glad I wasn't the first to notice that.

[@NotHPotter]

@@gunfaceUK Oh, I suppose that might make more sense.

[@pyrrhusofepirus8491]

@@Mirmisian Honestly if the English found that the already extremely potent combination of Archers and dismounted could be improved if they gave slingshots to little bastards and threw them somewhat near the enemy and only used the actual disciplined, trained and equipped English army as last resorts, plus according to this game French soldiers would shove their swords through toddlers if they saw them and that means more people will join the British to kill those child murdering bastards

[@15oClock]

"American Tale: Fievel Goes Plague." Nice.

[@K4RN4GE911]

Literally laughed out loud, that was very well done!

[@Eyey_Ron]

American Tail* Sorry to be THAT guy...

[@carwyn3691]

I was expecting Yahtzee to say "an even smaller kid escorting a fetus" but I appreciate the wholesome alternative

[@blondbraid7986]

Well, didn't the latest Hideo Kojima game feature Norman Reedus escorting a fetus?

[@jabendeacon]

@@blondbraid7986 It's true, we graduated to serious hairy dad and his BB.

[@GodRabbit90]

Next logical step must be a fetus guiding a semen through the womb, trying to solve zelda-esque puzzles near the vagina

[@broisyougobbling]

Oh I remember that game! Norman Reedus and the Magic Fetus right?

[@jlt697]

"Revenge for Agincourt..." - But we won that didn't we Yahtzee....

[@jamespaulin6739]

But they had to fight at all is needing vengeance.

[@BaelPenrose]

The First Battle of Agincourt was a victory for the brits, the second one was a humiliating defeat for the British at the hands of several french armies, one of which was the "large group of peasants with heavy sticks led by Joan of Arc"

[@thebronzedragon1]

@@BaelPenrose I mean We did kill her, that technically counts as vengeance but, I'm never one to complain about more. I might be a Scot but still

[@hezzas8394]

Tabris wasn’t Joan of ark like 19? Basically proving Yahtzee’s point that all the French needed were young ill equipped girls

[@andrewjarvis6942]

Glad I checked the comments before saying the exact same thing.

[@HumbleMemeFarmer]

"Innocent until proven Plague" Speaking of sickness, where is that lecherous old bugger?

[@conorgleeson2453]

Vultiidsah The Memelord Inventing new varieties of shortstacks, mostly.

[@dorienrose9982]

I am pretty sure they made the young child sparrow game, only it was a giant rat-bird-dog thing and looked like ICO.

[@walterreynolds7742]

Come to think of it ICO is about a young child escorting another young child

[@TinkyTheCat]

"A game where you play an even younger child who has to escort a small bird, or a hedgehog, or something." Hasn't the Pokemon franchise been doing just that for years?

[@ryanbarham8464]

Eh, Pokemon aren't serious enough. Although I'll give you the hairy part.

[@knju1monsterhunt656]

I'm pretty certain Yahtzee also gave the game points for the whole "people getting eaten alive by rats" thing.

[@Eisaku2]

I mean it worked for Dishonored... >_>

[@silverblade357]

@@Eisaku2 Except this game doesn't give you grief for killing off reprehensible human scum. The game doesn't pretend your killing a couple dozen people will vastly effect the status quo when there is a plague that is killing millions.

[@itskoile1985]

I would totally play the "even younger child escorts the hedgehog" game. I think it'll be cute :3

[@johannesseyfried7933]

So, a reversed Version of Sonic 06, with Princess Elise actually being a little bit competent? Sure, could be fun.

[@The_Jovian]

And then the next evolution would be playing as a hedgehog and saving even smaller animals and then we're just back to Sonic

[@RexZShadow]

@@The_Jovian So then our this game was just a sonic pre-pre-quel.

[@Dracinard]

And we've had a few "older cute animal escorts younger cute animal through world of unrelenting horror and violence" games (Shelter springs to mind), so a small kid escorting a cute animal is the only missing link in the serious hairy chain.

[@CompletelyNewguy]

You should play Ghost Giant then.

[@emilybroderick2421]

I loved this game, it's my favorite of the year so far! The fact that you can Undertale the story and play either as a mostly merciful girl scout or a ruthless 14-year old Rambo calling down the pebbly wrath of God and drinking the blood of your enemies is hilarious.

[@ThomasG_]

"Innocence" describes us in 2019, not realising we were about to star in a plague tale.

[@solharv7817]

Rats, rats We’re the rats We prey at night We stalk at night We’re the rats

[@KRIMZONMEKANISM]

I'm the giant rat who makes all of the rules! Let's see what sort of trouble, we can get ourselves into! :D

[@parkerdixon-word6295]

Wait, didn't the British win at Agincout? Could've been 'Revenge for Hastings' or something, but that might be too hard on the Queen.

[@steven6986]

apparently the Brits did win the first battle. and then they got their asses handed to them by Joan of ark.

[@De-Nigma]

Yes, revenge for Orleans doesn't have quite the same name recognition.

[@redwaldcuthberting7195]

British? GTFO.

[@panzsan5963]

Didn't expect Yahtzee to be able to get back to work so soon after E3

[@jamesbryant8087]

He could have been working on the road via laptop. Regardless the man has a great work ethic.

[@theguardian8317]

Maybe work makes him forget having spent several days surrounded by filthy nerds

[@Shaymin0]

He probably recorded this in advance. Not particularly a new game. He's probably just gotten back to the usual review work now.

[@fedja4121]

All videos are uploaded a week earlier on Escapist website

[@BugsyFoga]

Serious Hairy Dad Serious Hairy Dad : The Next Generation Serious Hairy Dad : Deep Space Nine Serious Hairy Dad Voyager

[@coolgreenbug7551]

Serious Hairy Dad: The Motion Picture

[@SPARR0E]

Don't forget when they rebooted the franchise in 2005 with: Serious Clean-Shaven Young Adult Hairy Dad

[@MrLunithy]

@@SPARR0E And now it looks like we won't get: Had no hair to begin with rescue reboot

[@SPARR0E]

@@MrLunithy Sorry to break from the joke, but how do you mean? Isn't the show coming this year?

[@MrLunithy]

@@SPARR0E Apparently kzbin.info/www/bejne/aHeXqWqreNB2mJI

[@YUNOBF3]

I showed this to my mum, and she really enjoyed it and laughed a few times. It's been so long since she's laughed at anything. Thank you, Yahtzee.

[@meapickle]

I seriously thought u meant showing her the game. And her laughing at the sight of people being eaten alive by hordes of rats

[@josch5071]

Why would you seek Vengeance for Agincourt?

[@jean-christophe8649]

The french got blood on english uniforms \_(ツ)_/

[@josch5071]

@@jean-christophe8649 Oh yeah thats fair then

[@rnvsinha]

I love how he changed chest high walls to breast high walls for the female protagonist

[@drdca8263]

I didn’t notice it being out of place. I would have believed that that was the usual term for it (with “breast” meaning the general area of the chest rather than specifically specifically the, err, more prominent way it tends to be in women) if it hadn’t been pointed out. Haha

[@perguto]

Did anyone else notice how Yahtzee's description "Serious Hairy Dad" series kinda matches the Donkey Kong country trilogy?

[@thesilentobserver93]

"An American Tale: Fievel Goes Plague" LOVE IT!

[@PewPewBeets]

Look who's finally going back to his old credit style on KZbin after a few years.

[@HORRIOR1]

Just finished watching his E3 overview. His roasts keep getting better by the year XD

[@bakunaruto3000]

The Spanish Inquisition Joke always make me laugh

[@lloydnicholls1439]

Only when it's unexpected.

[@oscarmccormack1611]

In other news, Yahtzee and Kess are going to try for a kid. Everyone wish them good luck.

[@TheCorrodedMan]

Oscar McCormack Oh god it’s happening. Prepare for the coming of the Kwisatz Hadarach: supremely nice but nihilistic as all hell.

[@ballehakan]

@@TheCorrodedMan MUAD'DIB!

[@physe8052]

@@TheCorrodedMan So, in other words, your average upper class British person? Also, obligatory THE SPICE MUST FLOW.

[@FirstnameLastname-kn5sw]

I must not fear, fear is the mind killer.

[@NHLman27]

Stephen Confident Crowshaw!!!

[@andrewhickinbottom1051]

"An American Tale: Fievel Goes Plague" - brilliant

[@jamesmaysflyingwashingmach7459]

I’m glad he noted how badly the story flounders once you reach the castle. It was quite good up until then, but they had very little ideas of what to do afterward.

[@yarpen26]

I enjoyed the story all the way until the end of Hugo's chapter. The rest of it is... uh. They failed to answer quite a few questions (like why some of the corpses at home were left undevoured) and to this day I just don't get what passing the first Threshold was even supposed to do.

[@Dragoon1809]

1:25, Nobody excepts the Spanish Inquisition!!

[@PsychOsmosis]

Playing as the even smaller child and escorting a small bird / hedgehog is the sweetest game concept!!

[@MalevolentDivinity]

I kinda want to make a horror game where you're immortal and have to save all the other characters by abusing that fact to high hell. Then throw in portions where the enemies are shambling towards your locked camera instead of your player character. Maybe have it have a hard border so that it looks like it's punching through your screen.

[@Blastinus]

MalevolentDivinity Yeah, in any game with infinite respawns, you lose the terror pretty quickly. But if there’s someone else that could be affected by your mistakes, that’s where things could begin to get tense. Unless them dying just kicks you back as well, in which case they’re frustrating instead of tense-making.

[@Teaandephemery]

Why are we seeking vengeance for Agincourt? We WON at Agincourt.

[@ilznidiotic]

Revenge for having to get out of bed that day.

[@supersasukemaniac]

Revenge for time wasted? Revenge for missing the mandatory afternoon tea?

[@debaronAZK]

"we"

[@notreally5920]

Breast high walls? Never heard that before :O I likey.

[@Shaymin0]

@@wargamingrefugee9065 Or it was a spin on the usual chest high walls considering the main character is a female.

[@fulldisclosureiamamonster2786]

@@Shaymin0 or it could be both

[@f_u_n_k_y]

Absolutely loved that Winston Smith joke!

[@blindoutlaw]

“Rengence for Agincourt” Mate, you guys won! Haha

[@JameboHayabusa]

yay the ending captions are back!

[@aniki6575]

Whoo He's back to the 2d dimension where he belongs. Dude looked one more conversation away from jumping off a building

[@notchickens2530]

"2d dimension" seems a little redundant to say...

[@KeithFraser82]

In honour of Yahtzee, someone should make a mod of this game where the rats are replaced by carnivorous jam.

[@ridbensdale]

Noticed Captain Sisko at the start. Sisko is the ultimate Serious Hairy Dad!! Don't do what he wants? He'll waste an entire planet till you eat all your cabbage.

[@ChuckPalomo]

He became Serious Bald Dad halfway through though.

[@d3a7hr0wasd]

Yahtze, the only guy to seek vengeance for a victory.

[@Sitz_Krieg]

4:55 had me rollin, Rats offering the Watchtower lol. now I'm going to be plagued (heh) with imagining the Rats as Jehovah's Witnesses if I play the game.

[@perianh]

The end credits gag is back! Yay!

[@sirwolfnsuch]

''Mildly annoyed'' perfectly summarizes my feelings with this game. The rats are the only interesting aspect

[@The_Jovian]

Compared to your other reviews, this is practically glowing praise

[@SPM0717]

It's really not though.

[@NinjazNeverDie]

Her stones have the strength of a freaking sniper rifle. Yeah a bunch of orphans against heavily armed soldiers. Sigh. I can't get the picture of children nuclear strikes out of my head.

[@deltahalo241]

The end screen gags are back!

[@princessthyemis]

his variations on the title are so funny! Also, the cover for the game is so cool!!!

[@bmoney2011]

"Plague, in a Sense"

[@JSone4Design]

The end credits reel really completes the weekly package. Glad Yahtzee brought it back.

[@SPM0717]

They were always there on the Escapist website versions. It's KZbin that removed them.

[@Sportnugget]

An even younger child escorting a small bird is basically A Bird Story which then comes full circle in Finding Paradise.

[@raresmacovei8382]

The tactical nuclear strike made of orphan children made me laugh out loud.

[@Never_Raines]

but but.... the english massacred the french at Agincourt... its famous for just how bad the french lost...

[@EOTS8221]

I'm glad I wasn't the only person confused by that Joke

[@NostraFnDamus]

Agincourt

[@Never_Raines]

@@NostraFnDamus whoops I knew I screwed the spelling up >.

[@richmcgee434]

I was equally baffled, but then I realized that the English got all sweaty slaughtering half the French nobility and he's still put out about it.

[@Never_Raines]

@@rejvaik00 mmm not really, normandy was an english territory then, so the norman descendents, where on the english side

[@clydethehobo2687]

I'm a bit surprised he never mentioned the rat tornadoes. That's a level of ridiculous that I figured would be right up his alley.

[@themrfives]

Oh shit, they brought back the old credits sequence! Nice!

[@OsmSkylandersCheats]

I haven’t yet found a playlist of all the Hairy Dad Game reviews

[@alastor8091]

2:46 Yo, unexpected but I love you for it lol!

[@fishpop]

The end card gags have come to KZbin!!! I've missed those since i stopped watching videos on The Escapist website cos they buffer a lot.

[@lowrider993]

I see they brought the end credits back to youtube, good on ya Yahtz

[@E1craZ4life]

The day Yahtzee reviews Roller Coaster Tycoon Marks the day I sold my soul for a cupcake.

[@RegretfulDeadMan]

What even is there to say in a review? Yeah, it's a creative themepark management game, if you like those, you'll like RCT. The summary is the review and everything else is wallpaper.

[@emmapopovic-bogdanich1991]

Doki Doko Literature Club! I remember going through part one and thinking about how cute and funny it was. Then I got to part 2, and the spin about him selling his soul for Monika made it darker.

[@E1craZ4life]

@@emmapopovic-bogdanich1991 I'm doing a Let's Play of that game on my channel if you wanted to look at it: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qpLEXp5-aM57hac

[@CrashWeezerman]

I'm just glad the comments in the credits are on KZbin again

[@dihyaneverforget5163]

I knew he's going to shit on it... that's why i'm here

[@brian3634]

He was actually pretty charitable by Yahtzee standards. If more than 1/10th of a review is spent on talking about the things a game did right, he probably doesn’t hate it.

[@Mark73]

@@brian3634 And that is why Psychonauts is the best game ever.

[@Ellthom]

I love your dry wit, sir :)

[@fokii9880]

How does Yahtzee find the time to play games for review, go to E3, *and* develop new games?

[@luiseatoll6368]

A Gantt Chart.

[@shaesullivan]

He has harnessed the power of sarcasm and ambivalence into a new form of energy for which only he can wield.

[@Linosek279]

The sparrow hedgehog kiddy adventure actually sounds kinda adorable

[@VerbenaHA]

Love the misread-titles in this one. American Tale Fievel Goes Plaugue is a gem.

[@butwhataboutdragons7768]

As much as I love this game, there really is quite the jarring contrast between the standard gameplay and "boss" battles. As he usually does, Yahtzee nails that feeling. "Oh, I'm so very helpless against basically every enemy, except for the times when I absolutely headshot the hell out of them like it ain't no thang." Though granted a sling is indeed a way more potent weapon than you might think. There was a reason some armies used legions specializing in it.

[@Kinos141]

"...like the first few years of parenthood." HAHAHAHA.... "first few"

[@smokingspitfire1197]

"Whom we most definitely did not expect" was, was that a Monty Python joke?

[@Ch50304]

I liked this game. pretty well done.

[@fireaza]

I wasn't expecting that Flying Circus reference!

[@samhatfield5898]

I would play the shit out of a game about a small child escorting a hedgehog, that sounds adorable

[@DrakeDragonSpark]

"Even today going to France is like sticking your head in a huge bucket of turds that think they're better than you." So it's not just us Americans then.

[@Cooper121842]

“high brow gag!” lol

[@Immortalcheese]

Was looking forward to this review. Enjoyed the game a lot and enjoyed seeing Yhatzee rip it apart

[@ldmt1995]

Oh my God, the old credits!

[@ursidae97]

I would absolutely love to play a zombie game staring a tiny little serious kid taking care of a bird with DLC where you play as the bird.

[@geofff.3343]

There's the English mindset for you. Seeking vengeance for a battle you won.

[@skellorelli2515]

Now I really want a game where you play as kid trying to escort a small bird or hedgehog or something.

[@christianschweda2530]

"Innocence, a tale of two plagues" - nice one! ^^

[@srbrant5391]

That Otherkin burn was brutal.

[@yotamravid3159]

Agincourt was one of the greatest English victories of the Hundred Years War but ok

[@banjoboy1223]

Watched Fwob play this and couldnt wait for you to review it

[@ultgamercw6759]

You should cover blood stained.

[@CAP198462]

Bad Yahtzee, did you forget about Joan d’Arc? French peasant girls, sufficiently inspired, did for a short time not lose battles.

[@knightplutonian5490]

Hell yeah, the credits flair is back!

[@steven6986]

as we know Yahtzee tends to drop hints to the happenings of his everyday life within his videos, now I don't want to start a conspiracy, but he did mention babies, early parenthood and diapers. so we may hear of a baby Yahtzee sometime in the future.

[@CyberShadowX8]

I guess you could say Yahtzee has a PlagueOfGripes with A Plague Tale: Innocence

[@Fenix9813]

The English won the battle of Agincourt.

[@gonesnake2337]

'revenge for Agincourt'. Nice one.

[@OllinWilliams]

Just when I thought you were getting one note, you chuck in an Orwell joke. Well played, Ben.

[@trblemayker5157]

This Stuart Little prequel looks great.

[@Burningpaladin1]

The Winston Smith joke was pretty high brow..... But you could have been even more and said Delapore

[@Ackthrice]

Just because something is old doesn't make it high brow and almost by definition a pulp author is definitely not.

[@hotboi8510]

I really injoyed it

[@macdjord]

0:29 - But... *Riker* is the one from The Next Generation. Sisko is from Deep Space 9.