The Twilight Saga is a MESS

[@stormfur19]

My favorite thing about twilight is how EVERY vampire in media afterwards has to make a point that they do not sparkle.

[@aspwned]

that's fucking hilarious

[@RedMoonSolitary]

They have to protect their dignity somehow

[@sarahsbakingcreations]

Well, now, most vampire plotlines involve vampires who can go out in the sunlight.

[@leahscontemporary]

Good thing Twilight is it's own thing and has it's own lore and worldbuilding so it doesn't have to abide by a generic copy pasted formula

[@shayla106]

@@leahscontemporary Yeah, defend your trashy book. It’s uniquely bad and lazy. Not like those other vampire shows that actually care about their lore and like to put in effort.

[@Fischohnerad17]

She could have just gone with "vampires are rich cuz they're old and don't need to spend money on necessities and that adds up" but the actual canon reason the Cullens are rich is cuz Alice uses her future seeing powers to cheat the stock market. I think they are straight up the third richest fictional characters ever, behind only Batman and scrooge mcduck

[@radicalgal]

I think that’s hilarious

[@FixitWithFoxy]

I died of laughter at this. N now I'm a vampire.

[@marcoaurelio2399]

Black panter is richer

[@kathryn1515]

wait seriously that's hilarious lmao 🤣

[@bivtheast]

I haven't laughed so hard that it physically hurt bad enough that I wished the content was -10% less funny in at least a while, fuck. This is so good. I don't think you could write comedy this pure if comedy was what you were intending to do

[@cosmiccod6284]

The CGI child is consistently the scariest thing of this movie. She gives off uncanny valley the entire time

[@Wildmoonchildani94]

Bro if you think the cgi baby was bad : she was the UPGRADE from the live action puppet they originally wanted to use. Don’t believe me ? Look up “ original renesme puppet” or even “chuckesme” 😂

[@cosmiccod6284]

@@Wildmoonchildani94 WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA

[@phantomslay5612]

@@cosmiccod6284 Yeah....... It's the Twilight Saga. I'd be surprised if 'good idea' was a phrase the writer could even comprehend.

[@AriHatesMakingUsernames]

@@Wildmoonchildani94 OH. Oh that’s so horrifying

[@Ashden_Lynnwood]

@@cosmiccod6284 not only that, but apparently the puppet is haunted now as well, the socks were supposed to be white but are stained brown (not saying if this true or not, just going off from what I heard people talk about)

[@quinnepin]

carlisle has a net worth of 34.1 billion because alice can predict the stock market thats why they're insanely rich

[@Coffee_Bean08]

Dang 😂

[@TylerHollenbeck-py1xx]

Talk about literal insider trade I mean these guys are supposed to be the good guys in these films and there no better than Gordon gecko

[@quinnepin]

@@TylerHollenbeck-py1xx LMAOOO well I wouldn't call them the good guys😅😅😅 they're all straight up weirdos and if you had the misfortune of reading midnight sun, you'll know Edward is a literal stalker, like, it's BAD... it kinda all adds up after a while 🕴️

[@sharkbelly1169]

They’re immortal; compound interest and never paying for food is enough!

[@pucknorris3473]

Imagine falling in love with a vampire when you are 18... then he bites you, and you're stuck in an eternal relationship with the kind of guy you liked when you were 18... This is PURE horror.

[@yukikanegawa7470]

You'd stay mentally 18 forever too

[@futuristicgirl14]

Rosalie is a real one for trying to talk Bella out of the whole thing

[@monicaheartsgypsy7877]

Dude… This legit scared me.

[@MilkChocolateGeese]

very mormon vibes

[@thelexicon7294]

@@MilkChocolateGeeseNo, but truly. In the end they get married super young because they’re too horny and Edward refuses to do anything out of wedlock. Which is literally every Mormon couple I’ve ever known.

[@iamvoidnoodle]

Bella’s dad is literally the only sane character 😭

[@luna10617]

him threatening to shoot Edward at the wedding was based

[@user-wi9hv2pb2q]

Her parents fob her off on the millionaire vampire family and almost get them all killed.

[@Lucky13Ravens]

​@@luna10617Woulda been more based if he'd just done it, before the wedding. That's what a good father does to his daughters abuser.

[@joetrident]

Are those Graduation caps? 3:18

[@mayrale1366]

Right I mean..I legit rewatched it recently.. and this was my conclusion

[@RSiB-22]

I remember my friend telling me that Bella’s “you named my baby after the Loch Ness monster?!” Was “the most emotion Bella showed in all the twilight movies”

[@BleedingLiar17]

Book bella was so boring. I literally only enjoyed new moon because of Jacob and breaking dawn when we got Jacob's P.O.V. he was a fun and interesting narrator in contrast to bella. Oddly enough he does seem to bring out a lot of the emotions in bella, whereas edward basically numbs a lot of stuff except horniness. Maybe it's metaphorical imagery for how jacob is alive and feels a lot in contrast to edward who's dead and at most mimics emotions that aren't emo boy depressed.

[@RSiB-22]

@@BleedingLiar17 honestly, you’re so right- there’s such a contrast between her with the two of them. While I’m not necessarily “team Jacob” due to like all the obsession, I do think he’s 10x better than bed time stalker Magee, Edward.

[@mindyourbusinessxoxo]

Did she LIE tho?!?!

[@samanthapalker1476]

So you agree that anger is an emotion. Men have been portraying women as the more emotional gender because they have convinced everyone that anger is not an emotion

[@RSiB-22]

@@samanthapalker1476 bro what??

[@LucasSchimmel]

As a Brazilian dude, the random lady with a Rio de Janeiro accent screaming I KNOW YOU'RE A DEMON then touching a lady's belly and saying DEATH with a deadpan face is hilarious. When a carioca screams DEATH at you, you run.

[@drewgoin8849]

What's a "carioca"?

[@hedgehatchet3578]

​@@drewgoin8849 I also wanted to know since, where I'm from, carioca's a type of food LOL. From the scant amount of research I did, carioca just means someone or something from Rio

[@LucasSchimmel]

@@drewgoin8849 Carioca is someone from a the city of Rio de Janeiro. It's a very idiosyncratic city, in Brazil it's also known of extreme violence and there's the not-so-kind stereotype that people from there are always trying to take advantage of you.

[@CoelhoJonas]

@@LucasSchimmel kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk o que é um carioca tem tantas respostas, mas um gringo perguntando o que é isso foi hilário

[@tesseract5569]

@@CoelhoJonas Okay clown

[@sonie4208]

Bella: has unprotected sex once, gets pregnant, dies The coach from mean girls: 👁️👄👁️

[@luisfilipe2747]

He was right the whole time

[@wooshydog]

"don't have s*x because you will get pregnant and die"

[@HayLeesHomeMade]

🤣

[@abelhapedras]

at least she didn't get several urinary tract infections in a row

[@jennah859]

this is too funny for ur own good holy moly

[@lovenickii]

always laughed my ass off at “do you think Bella is gonna be showing? 😝” “ Jess! she is not pregnant.” “pmmph okay.. who else gets married at 18? 🤨”

[@Iblamethebarrels]

Jess is the queen of sass

[@madamefluffy4788]

@@Iblamethebarrels And then embarrasses herself when giving a speech at Bella's wedding by implying she (Jess) would have been the better choice for Edward by saying Bella was nothing like her.

[@Iblamethebarrels]

@@madamefluffy4788 bro that scene is so goofy 🤣 half expected her to get absolutely sh*t faced at the wedding

[@thewaxingmoonlotus]

i was going to at 18y and then he cheated i was not not pregnant. and she got married and they did it after they were married and got pregnant making it half viamper and half human the blood hungry baby human mom. and wolves imprints on only one person no s.x stuff just puts their self in front of you to protect you like a pet that well bite anyone when your asleep or think that your asleep. and a lot of people get married at 18

[@boywithhairlikethis]

she’s scott pilgrims sister in scott pilgrim vs the world 😭

[@mothmanmother]

When she looks at her flat stomach and is like "I'm pregnant" always kills me

[@ceciliagunnarsson4793]

me when my period is late

[@yuluvii]

right?? and i didn’t watch the movie but didn’t they have sex like a day before this? u can’t know ur pregnant until weeks in

[@yuluvii]

@OdinsSage Yeah after my comment I thought abt that but was too lazy to delete haha

[@mothmanmother]

@luvoriia I didn't know I was pregnant for a month and then I didn't FEEL pregnant until like month 3 lol ofc it's fiction but this scene is still funny

[@heszedjim9699]

​@@mothmanmotherTbf the baby is like, partially eating her more or less

[@oktabramantio4709]

I remember watching it in the theatre, when Aro was burned the whole studio cheered so loudly, only to be DEAD QUIET a few seconds later.

[@kartkaesque]

Also the chess scene is kinda cute because Edward can't play chess with anyone but her because hers is the only mind he can't read.

[@cynthia4575]

I forgot about that. That is cute.

[@MrCmsch]

Ohhh yeah!

[@lcharry16]

But his games with Alice were so intense in the books! Mind reader vs future vision

[@zazollo]

Okay that is cute ngl

[@kawaiicat2424]

Oh tĥat is cute ngl

[@Alinda1308]

"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness monster?" Every time I wonder how Kirsten Stewart has been able to say that line without laughing

[@genera1013]

Her greatest talent really is "no emotion" There's even a film called Equals where emotions are illegal and she's the female lead. Perfect casting.

[@Alinda1308]

@@genera1013 Lol, she definitely was 😁 I need to check that movie, thanks

[@taadds]

I love that line

[@thj_5046]

i swear both her and robert pattinson look SO done with the movie in like every show i wonder how they took ANYTHING serious

[@francis7336]

I can imagine they had to do maaany many retakes, and if you say that line twenty times in a row it des stop making you laugh each time lol

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

When a parent is as happy as Bella’s mom that their kid is getting married at 18, there’s a problem. Also, notice how Bella’s parents found out not because she told them she was engaged, but by getting wedidng invitations.

[@Princes_Luna]

Yeah that’s wild now that I’m also an adult with nephews and nieces I find Charlie the only human with a brain in the whole movie

[@bernadette6553]

​@@Princes_LunaFRRR

[@nikfiendluvr666]

Bella's mom is like canonically negligent lmfao

[@Breexbloodlust]

she's more of a friend than a parent. It's giving "I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom" vibes

[@Princes_Luna]

@@bernadette6553 💀

[@jppotato17]

Dude I remember my GF had me watch the twilight movies and we got to breaking dawn part 2. After hours and hours of non-sensical slop, FINALLY there’s an epic battle scene with real consequences and I was SO HYPED… AND THEN IT WAS ALL A STUPID VISION OF THE “FUTURE” ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

[@weird_lemur]

You can't compare one-punch man to bella. bella didn't do anything to earn her power, Saitama did 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, and ran 100 miles everyday until his hair fell out.

[@NotLaura-Baka22]

I thought the same thing sure the power he gained was insane it's a anime after all but he did in fact work for it 😂

[@tonytins]

All Bella did was exist over there, and suddenly she's queen of the vampires.

[@Cybernautz]

🤣

[@parkchimmin7913]

Saitama also gained depression 😞

[@mysticalcomic]

ONE HUNDRED PUSH-UPS! ONE HUNDRED SIT-UPS! ONE HUNDRED SQUATS! AND A 10 KILOMETER RUN! EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR 3 YEARS UNTIL MY HAIR FELL OUT!

[@kalxco]

I guarantee that they made Bella's kid age so rapidly so the plot of Jacob being with her romantically would be legal

[@ahleenah]

Nah it was actually “vampire magic” that made her age like three or five times normal humans do (I think the pregnancy was only three months in canon time). If I remember correctly, the time between the child’s birth and the “war” is less than a year

[@Bkid123321]

And so they didn't have to show that god awful CGI baby 😂

[@soulstealer5625]

Think it was stephanie channelling the fact that despite being raised to think kids are great, generally she would prefer to be in the raising period to be as short as possible. Even when as a child, Renesme is depicted as being mature and intelligent. She straight up wants to skip the baby period cause it sucks.

[@ClaraClaiyer]

I always thought it would be for tension purposes, because in the book they are really worried about renesmee, they never dealt with an half vampire before so they were scare she would just continue aging and aging and would die of old age in years so they tried to enjoy every moment they could with her. When Alice appeared with the other half vampire the Cullens were relieved because they learned she will stop aging 7y after her birth

[@nybsgbyte3305]

IIRC It was also cause the vampire authority thought they would stay as a baby forever and having a bloodthirsty immortal toddler running around even only for a few years would be a pretty major threat to whatever twlights version of the masquerade is.

[@Michaela_ZC]

Wow I hadn't realized before just how Mormon this series is. The obsession with marriage, the fear of sexuality while being deeply desperate for sexuality, the tacit endorsement of child brides. It's really all there.

[@ambersunnyamber]

I literally had to pause the video right at the beginning cause I cant believe they started the movie with Bella quoting SCRIPTURE. The put away childish things line is from 1 Corinthians 13:11 😭

[@jesscarter2427]

​@@ambersunnyamberI never picked up on that 😭

[@Faleth]

@@ambersunnyambernahhh 😭😭😭

[@Nooooooooooooooooooooo7913]

Plus the prolifer undertones from Bella keeping her “demon” child lol

[@kananinations6555]

@ville__bot

[@Oboak]

Note to you since you didn’t read the books: Jacob had to take his clothes off to transform in front of Charlie because it was a common theme in the books for him to transform by accident and shred his clothes, and then end up as a naked human. he started getting used to it and taking off the clothes first so they aren’t all ruined

[@Oboak]

Also, I think maybe Alice and jasper left because jasper is so sensitive and the baby technically has a beating heart? I can’t quite remember

[@zenpie5093]

@@OboakI somehow remember one of the Volturis being able to read her mind and therefore finding out the plans of the Cullen clan so she had to leave? Maybe that’s bs but that’s how I remember the thing 😅

[@valolafson6035]

​@@zenpie5093 Alice and Jasper went off doing their own thing, which was finding other vampire children.

[@parkchimmin7913]

Wait, so he would take off his pants and underwear as well?? 💀

[@starryskies113]

@@parkchimmin7913uh

[@GKNW]

Jesus.. that fucking song at the end has no right being as dope as it was. I’m now gonna be singing “how can I choose between glitter and fur?” All day. Thanks Gabbitron. Also should have added a line like “am I into beastiality? Or am I just a necrophiliac?”

[@ineshomemcardoso]

Omg that line slaps too hard

[@neofromthewarnerbrothersic145]

No joke. In high school I would have had that song burned on a CD and living in my car's CD player for like a month. I mean, on my mp3 player... CD's were way before my time... How do you do, fellow kids?

[@brookejon3695]

​@@neofromthewarnerbrothersic145i had a half-functioning family car with a cd player, too

[@Breexbloodlust]

lmao yes

[@FerraticaTheBard]

Saaaame, I was just about to comment about the glitter and fur line!

[@itsgabibelle]

i have a copyright claim on my video that is clearly not the actual copyright holders thats causing blocking in some countries, so i've appealed it. hopefully this video doesn't get taken down even though it's fair use lol 😭 so if this video disappears you know why i hate this town (a twilight parody): kzbin.info/www/bejne/g3nRlHyLndN0pNk spotify: open.spotify.com/track/4CwdQu5i6JUvqk8HWXwfHW?si=ee9bab84075a4fe9

[@ballstoyou33]

i just wont refresh my page loll

[@fastandfurious3173]

If anything is fair use it's this, the amount of work you put into these is amazing.

[@JerryBeansManOTK]

I like dordles 😮

[@the.dirt.man.]

Ah shit my bad I pressed the wrong button and must’ve hit claim

[@hoennfanboy]

I will be streaming i hate this town every day

[@AsiaJahnea]

Everyone seems to forget the scene where Edward walks in after and reads jacobs mind to find out he imprinted on his child and knocks his ass into a wall 😭💀 it makes the scene 100x funnier they should’ve left it in

[@madamefluffy4788]

As awful as Edward was in the series, what would have made that book 1000x better would be for both Edward and Bella to slaughter Jacob for daring to imprint on their child (doesn't matter if imprinting is not a choice - this dude had been creeping on Bella before she turned vamp - even to the point that she broke her hand fighting him off when he kissed her without permission - and is now creeping on their newborn baby). Instead of a war with the Voulturi, it could have been with the shapeshifters/wolves.

[@abraham2172]

They did actually leave it in, at least in the version I once watched.

[@Ad0814]

at the beginning when you said she doesn’t have hobbies…. well 🤓 she holds a succulent in the first twilight movie…. so that’s something guys!

[@esmeraldagreengate4354]

She brought a sun, drought loving plant to Fawkes 😭😭

[@atlas6111]

​@@esmeraldagreengate4354 It was to remind her of Arizona D:

[@SirAsdf]

Edward and Bella's butt ugly 404 error of a daughter could've been so much worse. Cause their original plan was for it to be portrayed with the most hauntingly terrible animatronic ever seen by man.

[@elenabe4718]

Ah, yes, Chuckesmee, the haunted doll

[@NoelleTakestheSky]

I still don’t believe that Chuckesme wasn’t intended as a prank on the cast. Poor Nikki Reed’s face!

[@ineshomemcardoso]

Everytime I'm reminded of the existence of that doll, I can't stop fucking laughing. Who tf was behind that monstrosity?

[@bronsontaylor4203]

Satan, seeing as how it's supposedly actually haunted

[@gateauxq4604]

RIP Chuckesme, this would have been a whole other movie.

[@mennaayman9689]

Glad someone else thinks the whole situation with Jacob and the child was weird. I found it extremely creepy and also it's like the writer didn't know what to do with Jacob's character and had to find him a partner fast then came up with the worst possible idea

[@BleedingLiar17]

Stephanie meyer deliberately (allegedly) ruined his character because fans loved him in new moon, so that's why he's such a jerk in eclipse so edward can seem like the better option. And in breaking dawn she wants bella to basically keep jacob in her life forever, so how else can she do that other than by using imprinting because Edward is bella's soulmate, and Jacob only loved bella's egg and not her. 😭🙃😫😐😟😒

[@scientia.veritas]

I think the bigger idea was to showcase the child as the bridge between vampire and werewolf harmony. But since the child wasn't directly related to werewolves, there was no immediate way to do it. So she cooked the "imprint" trope so that werewolves feel as responsible for her as the vampires, this bonding over a common goal. It's ridiculous, but there is a reason for that.

[@Cutearttutorials]

It's just still rlly creepy I was team Jacob before this😭😭

[@13thMaiden]

It was damn creepy af and yeah they ruined him to force ppl to go Edward. Yeeck. Like seriously, there was female werewolf in the damn book, one that stood by Jacob with her little brother, why not her to tie up loose ends and make both groups happy? Nope have to have some weird bridge between werewolves and vampires that will make the werewolves lose their frickin' leader when he leaves with the vampires like a pet dog. Just 🤮 Just seriously this drivel only had cool background characters and all the MCs were boring and the story shit.

[@HerHollyness]

@@BleedingLiar17Was just about to comment the same thing. It’s not even alleged - it’s well known that Meyer was Team Edward and hated that so many people were Team Jacob after New Moon so deliberately set out to sabotage his character in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. 😂

[@animegodz6981]

Jacob went through one of the most devastating character assassinations I've ever seen in any film since all of existence.

[@leahscontemporary]

You're stupid. Jacob went through so much trauma after his transformation and after New Moon and you're just like "oh he's not anymore a one dimensional perpetually happy sunshine boy uwu who's never gone through anything and is expected to be a stagnant blank character and only Bella and Edward’s are supposed to have character development...." And you supposed "Twilight fans" don't know anything on how the character was made or the author's intentions? Since you don't know, according to Stephenie Meyer herself, she wanted to explore the concept of choice, both in the overall story, but aspects of the triangle as it all combinated in Eclipse. She choose Wuthering Heights, as Eclipse's literary parallel and used that as a means to explore the relationships between Bella and Edward, Bella and Jacob, and Jacob and Edward. The name and cover of Eclipse as well as its literary parallels explains everything. Besides if you don't know, spoilers, Edward was at his worst throughout the whole series in Eclipse, again spoilers,(taking out the engine and disabling Bella's car, tailgating her, kidnapping her, instigating an argument between her and her father, threatening to kill Jacob etc...) and did no one say that was to make him look worse than Jacob after New Moon. C'mon this a paranormal story. You expect the once innocent human character to stay the same after witnessing such horrors. Even Bella was a changed person as the story goes on

[@KoKris420]

8:10 you're actually so close to the books reason for their wealth it's hilarious. Canonically Alice uses her future vision to predict stocks and then the Cullens invest based on what she says 😂

[@redfrenchfries9263]

Insider trading??? in my tween vampire books???

[@zeebeereactions]

She's the real wolf of wall street😂

[@parkchimmin7913]

Wow, so Alice predicted the 2008 recession?

[@DeaDiabola]

Ok yeah that's fucking hilarious. Ngl... I would do the same. I NEED NEW SKINS FOR MY GAMES OKAY

[@DeaDiabola]

​@@parkchimmin7913 And homegirl did nothing to prevent it smh

[@kw7931]

When I was in elementary school there was this new girl who swore up and down that she was a real vampire. She actually started like a mini ‘cult’ following….she ended up getting in trouble with the school for taking girls to the bathroom to bite them and ‘transform them’. Sadly, after talking with her a few times, I had convinced myself that I was a werewolf……for an embarrassing amount of time. Anyways moral of the story is that twilight caused a LOT of weird shit.

[@sephithor7069]

Similar thing happened to me. I met a guy online who said was a vampire . And he ended up convincing me by guessing what things I had around my room (we never used cams, so he couldn't know).

[@Critic115]

I believed I was a vampire before twilight lmao

[@ahleenah]

I wholeheartedly believed I was a stardust fairy or whatever it was called for like a year and I just wasn’t confident enough in my belief to transform

[@aspillust]

i pretended to be a vampire a lot as a kid, not because of twilight but because i used to have sharper and pointer than normal canines. they fell out years ago and i always was proud of them and really liked them so i'm kind of sad about it now lol

[@elistari1050]

He could've been watching you through your camera, even though you weren't using it. Creepy to think about that. Or maybe you were just super basic and predictable as a teen.

[@jade_kms]

the funny part is that when jacob ran out shirtless in the rain. i saw that in theaters w my sister and someone in the back yelled “TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFFF” and then he did and the whole theater actually did cheer 😭😭😭😭

[@Taemtiddies]

omfg 😭✋️

[@R4IN80W4V3]

:::;Ded;:::

[@kiaheat1920]

Wild

[@jlords24]

Bella having sex one time, getting pregnant, and then actually dying is an accurate representation of mormon sex ed, speaking as a former mormon. All it's missing is guys blaming their hard-ons on bare shoulders.

[@kamu3057]

I mean edward hates Bella and wants to switch classes cuz she just looks too eatable in her sweaters 💀

[@XNikka]

It’s crazy, I had an associate who also got pregnant after her first time having sex. That’s traumatizing 😭

[@sandrols7]

As Kamu said, Edward friggin' blames Bella for making him feel obsessed with her! I think it perfectly encapsulates every point you just mentioned!

[@Rubin82]

I remember in the book they did it at least a few times during the honeymoon, skipping it in a dot dot dot sort of way and then reminiscing in the morning about it. The movies are actually more graphic about their honeymoon sex.

[@mikudayo_biggest_fan3939]

why are y’all surprised by her getting pregnant after one try? That’s perfectly normal??

[@anaribeiro6615]

As a Brazilian watching it in English for the first time and then the housekeeper coming and going full novela mode was absolutely hilarious. The "Morte" scene might be my favourite scene in the whole saga. Robert's Portuguese actually surprised me, his pronunciation was pretty good for someone who isn't fluent

[@Criadasso223]

né? bizarro como ela falou, normalmente os atores falam espanhol quando estão no brazil, mas meu mano edward alem de falar ptbr ele falou bem??????

[@sharkbelly1169]

Not a native speaker, but I also thought he did a good job with the Portuguese. Like dude clearly did some work on it. Bravo, man.

[@iNkdUpBeautii]

I never understood how Bella had 2 guys fighting over her, especially when she had the personality of a wet roll of toilet paper and was about as interesting as watching paint dry. Also, if you think about it, Jacob would essentially be a groomer, considering that he's going to be around Nessie as she grows up.

[@LaCrownedGamer]

I have always said, if the imprinting has to happen, he should not have met her when she was a child. If he had to meet her as a child then there needed to be something else, like puberty, or she imprints on him, something that makes it less groomy. I get that they are like immortal/ live for like 100's of years so being with someone 20 years apart is really nothing to them, but it needed to be framed as consenting adults or something. Like damn @___@

[@ineshomemcardoso]

Not would... he's CANONACLY a groomer, they just don't address it like it is

[@sand_eater101]

Yes! I watched Twilight with my aunt and several times she went “Bella has no personality” and “how can they be head over heels for her” or various other phrases that boil down to “she is so selfish”

[@Goose-pic]

​@@LaCrownedGamerRight?? Why did it have to be a literal infant at all?? Let him date an adult-

[@kris1123259]

Also this movie / books objectified Jakob and his pack in such gross way just to turn him into a pedo by the end.

[@Marvell3000]

Fun fact each Twilight film (except both parts of Breaking Dawn) has a different director and it kinda shows

[@isabellek_]

the first one was definitely the best tbh

[@Thenormieking]

@@isabellek_🤨

[@leonineKelter]

​@@isabellek_a lot of people disliked the blue filter but tbh I think it really adds to the vibe. The first director was also the only female director and usually made indie films which is why there are so many Dutch angles and indie songs lol

[@kkickthetragedy]

​@@leonineKelterthe first one was directed by catherine hardwicke who also directed the movie thirteen which also had a blue filter vibe during the end of the film, so it kinda shows throughout her work especially with twilight

[@KTKZon58]

While watching this retrospective, one thing has become painfully apparent to me: They _never_ figured out what to do with Alice's hair over the course of the series.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Which is wild because the first movie did it perfectly

[@Alexvander10]

33:03 To be fair, the PS4 didn't exist till late 2013. And if they played a Wii they may have destroyed the house with the motion controls.

[@kylespevak6781]

Finding out that Stephanie Meyer was a practicing Mormon make so much sense considering that these films always felt like a preteen's wet dream

[@marialoveday9443]

This is probably why I could never get into Twilight. Also I’m asexual and Romanian so I’m not too impressed by vampires in media.

[@leahscontemporary]

Alright that's a little malicious. Beimg Mormom has no impact on the story as you probably wished it were. The tropes in Twilight are no different than the tropes in any other romance novel, and is pretty much par for the course in a paranormal romance. Powerful males fighting over the 'helpless' human girl is common. A man 'stalking' her and being obsessed with her protection is common. Happily ever after with a wedding and a baby are common. The problem is that Twilight is a lot more popular and well-known than most other romance novels. Which is certainly no fault to Meyer. Like her or hate her, Meyer did draw in millions of readers for a successful franchise without having been heard of before writing. U could say "Yeah, well, so did the MCU and it sucks" but that was backed by major film studios with huge budgets. So Meyer deserves credit for that at least. I'm also generally of the opinion that just because I i might not like a author's prose or writing style, doesn't make bad writing either. There's so much negativity, all the time, levelled with such vitriol. It becomes this circlejerk of "Ooh! I thought of a new reason why Meyer is a bad writer!" and people jumping on it with zero critical thought, regardless of legitimacy or nuance. I've seen her criticized for things that weren't even in the books, that people made up

[@kylespevak6781]

@@mmm-mmm It's in the books too, but either way I believe she did have a lot of involvement with the movie since it came out shortly after the success of the book series

[@atortuedpoet]

@leahscontemporary bro wrote a whole book💀💀💀

[@galaxyocicat5660]

Ironic how Steph Meyers is trying to push a prolife message into her film but does the complete opposite with that horrific birth scene.

[@chromesthesia]

Seriously I'm like yeet the cgi vampire fetus. YEET IT!

[@unluckyomens370]

if thats what she was trying to do she did an awful job

[@chromesthesia]

@@unluckyomens370 yes it makes me go omg a cgi vampire baby is an ABOMINATION BEFORE ALL THE GODS YEET IT also why does she get human blood? What if humans need that? And why didn't they just have a farm?

[@scientia.veritas]

What she did do, effectively, was to show how equally ridiculous pro-choice is. "Hey it's my body, my choice" when literally everyone gave her the accurate information against that choice.

[@jeffs1571]

​@@scientia.veritas What a bizarre non-sequitur

[@kat_kami]

The scene where she breaks her back trying to get that cup surrounded by superfast vampires is the most hilarious and idiotic sequence in the history of cinema and no one can convince me otherwise 😅

[@angelofpurity1992]

Every time I watch it I'm so confused like... girl. HOW!?!

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@angelofpurity1992The baby inside of her (or fetus, whatever) is pushing to get the blood. It pushes so hard it injures Bella

[@angelofpurity1992]

@@DeathnoteBB It was executed poorly then because it looked absolutely ridiculous.

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@angelofpurity1992Oh it definitely was, I’m just saying it wasn’t Bella’s fault, the fetus vampire baby did it

[@angelofpurity1992]

@@DeathnoteBB I gotcha 😉

[@annspank7027]

My mom (who spent a considerable amount of my childhood reading and re-reading the twilight saga) told me that in the book, the final battle happens basically the way you suggested it happens. A fight just between mind powers.... but that wouldn't work well in a movie so they did the crazy fight scene

[@hdade5280]

I saw this in the cinema with a friend having seen none of the previous movies. During the battle scene, when it's revealed it was all a dream, I'm not kidding but 3 separate people YELLED in the cinema along the lines of "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!". It was so so funny. 10/10.

[@ImDayroom]

I watched accros the dodger verse in theatres and when it said “to be continued” like 10 ppl (including me) went “ahh are you serious!!”

[@CampingforCool41]

I remember watching that movie for the first time in college on my little 12” tv and laughing my ass off the whole time. The way it sounds like a cookie jar lid when they rip the vampire heads off kills me

[@ringarounddarosie]

Hey, at least they got to see it. As far as I can recall, the books do not have this right scene. To be honest, this is a major plot hole in the movie cause Alice should not be able to have this vision (the wolves are involved). She should not be able to see Jacob's future with renesmee. The screenwriters threw us a bone cause ain't no way you could turn the books anticlimactic ending into a movie. Esp since there were 2 parts.

[@fiask0444]

​@@ringarounddarosie because she cannot see the future of wolves?

[@mapizbernal2289]

Hobbies I remember from the books: Bella: reading and cooking Edward: piano? Rosalie: fixed up cars Esme: architecture and home renovation (and being wonderful honestly) Emmet: ??? Strong???? Alice: fashion and decoration Jasper: no thoughts, head empty Carlisle: doctor

[@reannamckee43]

And Charlie liked to fish

[@Nerd-O-Matic]

@@reannamckee43 I love how whenever Stephanie needed him to not know about something, or just be absent for something and he wasn't at work, he would always, without fail, be out fishing lol.

[@alim.9801]

"???strong???" I'm dying 😂😂

[@ahleenah]

Emmet would be the gym bro if he wasn’t a vampire

[@kiyasthriftycrafts]

This is very accurate 😂

[@mr.duck1246]

I binged this series in a day with three of my friends and our main 2 takeaways were “stan Alice” and “HE IMPRINTED ON A BABY?????” Oh and my one friend wouldn’t stop going over the logistics about vampire sperm and the rest of us were just like “shut up” the whole time cause how he was thinking through it sounded so gross

[@auliamate]

Nah nah we need to talk about the logistics of vampire sperm, this is important information the public needs to know

[@erinwhipple4666]

I wanna know how THE FUCK the vampire sperm exits his penis and enters her cervix if he has no blood and therefore cannot achieve an erection. Plz explain if you are able

[@nuclearseahorse]

I think the sperm are leech-like cuz vampires suck blood

[@bextomoose]

He just like me fr 🙏

[@ShadyStar24]

Stan Alice agreed

[@rakew9231]

Edward breaking the headboard kills me because of how many wood chips fall on Bella, like she for sure had a bunch of splinters in her hair, her back, I even worried for her eyes

[@hitbycars]

I read them as an 18 year old dude and just happened to read the series (and finish it) the weekend the 4th book came out (people on Gaia wouldn't shut up about it). By the end it was less a Vampire Romance story and more of a Vampire Superhero Infinity War situation where everyone just flexed their powers. Fuckin wild, idk why middle aged ladies came so hard to them.

[@deerlyXO]

The power in this fucking comment

[@chanandler-bong]

this comment unlocked a core memory, made me reactivate my gaia account and revisit messages from

[@ryph3]

but people ride so hard for part 2

[@11_224-w]

My mother rarely reads but she read the shit out of those books and bought all the movies and the secondhand embarrassment was real. 🙄

[@Kuhnonthecob]

You brought up Gaia and now I’m pretty sure I’m able to get senior discounts

[@prwa911]

I don't why but Bella calling something that's literally turning her into a living corpse a "miracle" has always rubbed me the wrong way.

[@aspwned]

that's why it's so obviously a pro-life argument. women are told that they need to keep the baby full term, even if they are literally dying by continuing to carry it.

[@katherinesmallbean3594]

Demon baby is literally murdering Bella's insides but she is happy to keep it because✨ miracle ✨. like wtf last i checked miracles aren't shitty body horror

[@elistari1050]

Women are seen as having one purpose- making babies- and therefore, even a woman's death doesn't matter, as long as she "fulfills her purpose". It's really sick and twistef, but that's what we get for being female, I guess. Men get entire holidays and memorials for dying in wars THEY started, but women get nothing for dying and suffering in childbirth just so those men could exist in the first place.

[@made-line7627]

It's definitely miraculous. Vampires should not have the ability to procreate, and as far as the majority of the vampire world knows, they can't. I'm not religious in the slightest, though if the Virgin Mary's immaculate conception is a miracle, Bella becoming preganté definitely is, too.

[@made-line7627]

​@@katherinesmallbean3594Birth is fucking body horror

[@noonezherereally1220]

The fact that Jacob not only imprints on a child- but later gets in a relationship with said child just blows my mind.

[@leahscontemporary]

Breaking Dawn only takes place for three months. How is Jacob in a relationship with Renesmee?

[@shayla106]

@@leahscontemporaryIt was implied.

[@KalenMins]

​@@leahscontemporary It deff was implied in alice's prediction

[@steph8030593]

🤮

[@EliasKayama245]

I also found it super weird

[@fedoramaster6035]

43:58 OMG I LEFT A COMMENT WHERE I WAS LIKE “dur dur what’s creepy about the imprint thing” I DIDNT KNOW THEY MADE JACOB DATING HER CANON OMG WHAT THE FUCK

[@gentlechaos5911]

Yeah the "imprinting" or "fated mates" thing is a huge thing in romance novels so it was creepy right off the bat for me

[@fedoramaster6035]

@@gentlechaos5911 I mean personally I think predestination stories are fine, if not a bit easy to mess up. But uh.. if your predestination involves an adult fucking a literal infant then maybe you should like… write a different book lol.

[@Curiousphy]

The birth scene was awful in theatres I went with my sister and the moment her back broke I fell to the floor and proceeded to stay there curled around my sisters legs 😭😂

[@noranizaazmi6523]

I would too 😭😭

[@evenstar04]

I laughed

[@Literallylilly1]

Thats so real, I hid behind my mom's chair 🤔

[@jjsaphire5848]

For anyone interested: Alice and Jasper left to get physical evidence that Renesmee wouldn't be dangerous by getting grown-up human vampire hybrids to come out of hiding and give their testimony about what to expect from her. Funny thing is I never watched Breaking Dawn so I wasn't even aware that the movie left out such out context until this video.

[@ahleenah]

I was so confused watching the movie in the cinema because they left out such major plot points like that. Like, that whole book, including major plot and context, could’ve been one movie but they just decided to create two movies full of people standing around like npcs

[@diy_cat9817]

People who read the books can tell who haven't lol

[@MariaPaula-uw3ds]

​@@ahleenah it's amazing how they unnecessarily split the book into 2 movies and still managed to left out important plot points. such an accomplishment

[@potatoluna3389]

Ive only ever watched the movies and it literally was explained, just in a weird way. Alice left Bella a note saying she was leaving and when Alice comes back, after she shows the vision, she says “I do have evidence” and brings out the half vampire guy. It’s basically just implied that that’s what she was doing the entire time. They didn’t outright say it but it was conveyed

[@kkweirdo123]

I thought that was obvious when i watched it that they left to find this guy 😅

[@Sienna6164]

“Don’t have sex. Cause you’ll get pregnant, and die!”- Coach Car. Mean girls. Breaking Dawn: Bella has sex once and gets pregnant and she dies only to be revived Dude predicted the future

[@jabberogue]

The coach was not wrong, he was just very specific.

[@mx5701]

So you just gonna repeat the top comment joke which is 4 months older and do so in a less entertaining way? Just delete your account at this point

[@Sienna6164]

@@mx5701 Do I seem like I care

[@WarmNitrogen]

14:45 As a Brazilian, I can confirm it does feel like a 1990/2000's novela. Even more so if the camera changed view every single second

[@syberk.mp4]

genuinely didn't expect you to write a full length cliche midwestern pop song about twilight but you did and im here for it

[@nerfherder4284]

It was perfect 😂

[@felixitybby]

1) alice uses the ✨ vision ✨ for stonks, which is why they're rich 2) ravioli ages incredibly fast, i think the passing of seasons is how they're trying to communicate time? But it's done badly smh 3) this entire franchise could've been so good if it was from emmets POV, he's the only character who is purely enjoyable both in the movies and the books

[@abelhapedras]

for real the Emmett thing... back when I was a teen there was this twilight fanfiction from his pov and it was so good it was SO funny i loved it so much

[@MogamiKyoko13]

It took me a minute to get you were talking about Reneesme for a minute in no. 2 because I'm so used to "ravioli" being the term for Revali from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild lol My friends and I always called her Rumplestiltskin or Rasputin.

[@GlennBRust]

That makes the vision of Jacob and Radish falling in love in the future Alice sees that much grosser because instead of it being that he was waiting until she turned 18 (already very bad but it's not like we didn't just watch Edward do exactly that) she's probably only like two years old by that point.

[@dungeonsanddobbers2683]

My favourite thing about the Twilight movies is that _everyone_ who worked on them hated them, and were really only there for the paycheque. Which goes a long way to explaining why those films are the way they are.

[@edwardwalsh2766]

I remember seeing a tweet once from Anna Kendrick where she was like "Oh my God I forgot I was in the Twilight movies" 🤣 It's like she tried to block it out

[@SophieBells-kk2yg]

Did anyone notice how Jasper was able to control Bellas mood about the party in the beginning of New Moon, even tho she's supposed to have a shield?

[@iris7301]

She cant shield herself from emotions since that’s a different part of the brain or so I’ve heard… she can only shield herself and others from pain.

[@artyb27]

"A Day In The Life If Charlie Swan" ran as a joke so it could sprint as an anti-joke. The bit had more character development than anyone in these films.

[@doodlethealien8889]

The scene where she goes into labor and is CUT OPEN traumatized me as a child. And thats why i dont want children

[@elenabe4718]

Same. I wasn't sure before the I saw BD and I knew

[@AmbassadorKat]

I never read it myself but if I remember correctly in the book they don’t have all the medical supplies and Edward actually chews the baby out of her womb

[@Gender_Ascender]

​@@AmbassadorKatIirc it's something like the womb became changed by the half vampire baby and tools no longer worked, breaking scalpels and stuff so there was only the choice of vampire fangs - which were previously established to be able to break through vampire skin. God I read this book as a coping mechanism as a kid and it shows so much tbh

[@doodlethealien8889]

@@AmbassadorKat Jesus christ im so greatful I never read the books

[@Gender_Ascender]

@@doodlethealien8889 I wish I hadn't if I'm being honest. Only good thing I got was becoming a fan of Paramore and being able to relate to people about how shitty Twilight is.

[@whynot5568]

Fun fact....the makers of twilight kept asking My Chemical Romance to write a song for the series but they kept refusing. They got fed up eventually and wrote a song that they said they can use called vampire money. It was a F U from the band.

[@XisAlexandre]

Wait, what

[@clava7851]

That is why I love my chemical romance. I also heard that twilight exists because Stephanie Meyer took inspiration from the aesthetic and songs of my chemical romance. And my chemical romance basically exists because of 9/11. So in conclusion: 9/11 -> my chemical romance -> twilight -> fifty shades of grey

[@i.m1ss.y0u.s0.f4r]

THATS the story behind vampire money!?

[@NothingIsWrongToday]

that is fucking hilarious 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀

[@morgangunning30]

​@@clava7851not true actually! muse was the inspiration

[@derpyduck264]

7:37 To quote a user on Tumblr, "If I were alive for hundreds of years on end, and you're still poor, I would just step into the sun"

[@nahicorua]

39:40 "I was shocked at the huge balls Stephanie grew for this half of the movie" well, you should definitely thank the director of the film because apparently that scene isn't even a part of the books lmao

[@ronnitschka]

I had to laugh so hard at that scene back then in the cinema, like for real the book ending is quite good in my opinion and this 'fight' scene was just so out of the genre the whole series plays in, the only good thing is that it was quite satisfying to see them all beeing killed 😂 and quite frustrating that it was just a vision, really would have liked it if it was just the real ending

[@elthereall]

literally it doesn’t happen 😂 my mom and I read the books and saw it in theatres and literally screamed. No one was left un-shocked

[@Shadowhunter420]

I also screamed lol

[@it_stimefortea]

​@ronnitschka when you think about it, it's mostly because Meyer can't write fight scenes. Out of all four books with multiple fights cannonically occurring, we only ever see one on page lol (I don't remember if it's any good, I skipped Eclipse on my recent reread)

[@diandriasmith889]

It definitely didn't happen LMAO. The anticlimax of that book made me question my teenage life decisions. Having spent months reading the whole Twilight series AKA The Teen Angst Chronicles, I couldn't force myself to watch past the first movie. At least I got to hear Muse 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@bro.that.is.adorable.2633]

Bella is really screaming in pure unbridled agony and Alice is just looking at her like 😕

[@Hagt3]

Imagine letting your daughter “mate” with your wife’s ex admirer. 💀

[@mittag983]

If I was Edward I would kill Jacob

[@pisscvre69]

"its a wolf thing" "sir are you aware of how serious the charges against you are?"

[@orukarm]

@@pisscvre69”sir, please have a seat on that nesting bed”

[@freddogrosso9835]

Oh, Jacob. "Dog years" is not a thing.

[@madamefluffy4788]

'It's a wolf thing' No, dear - it's a predator thing.

[@cheshireshadow518]

0:49 the "I am hotter than you." clip took me out so bad I actually cackled out loud BHJGBFHJGJ can't believe that's an actual dialogue, unironic and everything

[@idontwantahandlethough]

It made me laugh out loud every time you said a line from the movie and I thought "oh, she's just paraphrasing what Bella said. No movie would have dialog like that, right?" and then Bella says the exact same thing verbatim 😂 "it's like a miracle or something"

[@lilbubbles7282]

So Jacob went from being obsessed with Bella to her daughter. That's wierd.

[@febfreeze831]

Bro fr went "if she leaves you for another, there is always her mother" but reverse

[@jaimelourne371]

It's bc he imprinted on her egg

[@petrify4814]

He's less obsessed with Bella and more infatuated with her, and I think it had a lot to do with her being the only girl he has really ever interacted with that wasn't a member of his tribe, and with Renesmee, obsession is an understatement, it's written like a literal compulsion to be near and care for her. I think the main problem is that Jacob was never meant to be a recurring character, and she had to figure out something to do with him when they solidified the marriage.

[@TalpaTulpa]

The book also basically says he will eventually become her husband after being a father figure.

[@betteonme_]

i know you were joking about the whole 'theater erupting in cheer' but as someone who did in fact end up with tickets to the midnight premier of breaking dawn part 1 i can confirm it was ear-deafening. my secondhand embarrassment made me almost leave the theater

[@JoltedAlive]

the funniest thing to me is the squeaky ass voice of Taylor Lautner... that and the fact that i cant look at him without seeing sharkboy

[@azuregriffin1116]

why is that song actually a banger? What? HOW? That was an unreasonable amount of talent to just pull out of nowhere. Damn.

[@karasagna]

ISTG!!!

[@doodleplayer4014]

I'm going to have the chorus stuck in my head for days.

[@LesbianKimDokja]

You can’t convince me that twilight isn’t just a FanFiction that got too famous and was made into a book then a movie 😭

[@echojacky]

It was my chemical romance fanfic originally if what I've seen and heard is to be trusted.

[@LesbianKimDokja]

@@echojacky I mean, it makes sense 😃

[@sarahsbakingcreations]

It was inspired by Interview with The Vampire.

[@leahscontemporary]

No I can't because that would be a lie and furthermore stupid

[@rachelreii5952]

Robert said in a interview Stephanie told them she had a dream of this, maybe a fantasy and Robert thought she was insane. They're all paid so who cares what we think.

[@oddlem]

it's kinda nuts looking back how this basically just turns into a body horror movie

[@goose_suit666]

It's insane They're horny or they're serving gore

[@kuroneko334]

Reminds me when we use to wear onions on our belts...

[@de_hiiiiiiii_me]

46:23 the song was actually so goodd

[@mandyfigueiredo]

As a Brazilian who was a teenage girl when these movies were coming out, having the last movie filming here in Brasil was really A moment 😂 until very recently you could actually see the house they rented for the honeymoon, or rent the house yourself (I haven't been there in a while, I think you can still do that).

[@BrunoFernandes-ty7mf]

Que massa.

[@abelhapedras]

eu não sabia! sério? mds

[@parkinholotado]

finalmente Brs que assistem a Gabi aparecendo nos comentários

[@mandyfigueiredo]

@@abelhapedras simmm! Quando eu fui pra lá alguns anos atrás fiz um passeio de barco e eles levaram a gente até lá,pra poder ver a casa em que eles gravaram (não entramos nem nada,mas vimos a casa).

[@mandyfigueiredo]

@@parkinholotado finalmente!!!! a gente sempre se acha kk

[@picvegita]

"he probably bought it for 50 bucks in the 1500s, on ebay"..... That is comedy gold I actually laughed out loud at that wel, well done!

[@aiyanari41]

I got to that part right when I saw this 😂😂😂

[@4WARNG_TRD]

Robert Pattinson said after these movies "When I first read the book it came across as one that should never have been published".

[@soaringspirits2267]

Dying

[@larissat4978]

Brazil mentioned! As a Brazilian I should tell you that your edit of the scene as a novela was pretty damn accurate, parabéns! Robert Pattinson's accent sounds like Portugal's Portuguese 😅

[@kiwikels]

The whole Jacob imprinting on a baby thing was super uncomfortable and weird but something about him trying to take the baby away from her mother made me even more uncomfortable and I didn’t think it was possible. Like sorry bud but I don’t think the baby is any safer with you obsessing over her because you’re secretly in love with her even though she’s …. A baby

[@xxxaragon]

And the series +could+ have at least attempted to save it by making clear that it's completely platonic (and that he'd be her "protector" and father-/big brother-figure instead) but nope, he is literally a groomer. because if you think about it for just one second, we know that attraction and romantic feelings usually don't occur from one second to another but develop. so at what age does it go from Jacob seeing her as a child he wants to protect to a young woman he wants to date? and how uncomfortable is that whole transition period?

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@xxxaragonThe thing is Stephanie did it on purpose to make Jacob worse than Edward. There was no saving it because the disgust is intentional.

[@1tg0r1]

i meannn in the books it kinda explains that “imprinting” doesn’t exactly mean you’re romantically/sexually in love.

[@OneTakko]

@@1tg0r1but alices look at the future with renesmee and jacob proves that it is romantic

[@coatimundi69]

​@@1tg0r1 the stages of imprinting on the wiki literally just describe grooming bro 😭

[@FijianSouljah1312]

Jasper : 👁👄👁

[@jasperr1822]

👁👄👁

[@ivisitthezoo]

LMAO the eyes are staring into my mfkn soul!!

[@ryph3]

💀

[@_.-Skitterbug-._]

🟠👄🟠

[@ZyahGilbert]

🧿👄🧿

[@petrify4814]

So, like, in the books, there's a whole discussion about how Elliot and Rosalie got a house for a wedding present and basically destroyed the whole thing having sex during their honeymoon. She definitely did a lot more to describe just how intense vampire sex is and why it would be dangerous for a vampire and human to have sex. But she definitely mixed her metaphors by making the pre-vampire sex a parallel to premarital sex and then having them get married but the sex still basically kills her. XD

[@AkiTheDenglishQueen]

I'm just wondering at this point... How does it go... up? They don't have a beating heart so do they just tell their wieners to do stuff and vamp wiener is like yup?

[@beanone2]

​@@AkiTheDenglishQueenthis... I have always been like... but he's dead... so how does his little vamp work? 😅🙈 let alone be able to impregnate her 😂

[@sleepingdreams5844]

​@@AkiTheDenglishQueenI mean isn't it more of a "blood going there when one's aroused, so it rises" thing, he has blood in his body, so it should work. And interestingly enough, I've heard that even if someone is dead he could still (technically) make someone pregnant as long as the process of decaying hasn't gone that far.

[@AkiTheDenglishQueen]

@sleepingdreams5844 yeah but blood doesn't just "go", the heart moves blood, it doesn't move by itself. Also, are we really out here discussing the anatomy of how vampires can get boners like the 21st century is WILD 😂

[@plumdutchess]

​@@AkiTheDenglishQueen I've thought the same when watching Buffy and Angel. How?

[@l1lium]

10:00 I really think that Bella has to have some kind of kink for rougher play. WHERE IS COMMUNICATION BROS Also I bursted laughing at the start when Jacob just took his shirt off for no reason xD

[@Mahh_Nery]

As a Brazilian I'd like to reassure y'all: there is, indeed, chess in Brazil! Bella could've just asked

[@ThePuppetteMaster]

What?! Omg! Next you gonna tell me you got cards! 😱 xD

[@insertnamehere_o.o]

​@@ThePuppetteMasterI have a shocking reveal: We do have cards in Brazil.

[@K-kandyRoseYT]

I read this as cheese 😞

[@Mahh_Nery]

@@K-kandyRoseYT we have cheese too! The region of Minas Gerais is known for their cheese in the whole country, actually

[@elyalvarz]

Why Alice and Jasper left. So, as far as I remember (which is not much, I read the saga a decade ago lol) this has kind of a good explanation: 1. In the second book, New Moon, we learn that the Vulturi and specifically Aro want to add Alice and Edward to the evil team. Having someone who can predict the future AND someone who can read minds from afar would be awesome for the vampire government. If I recall correctly, Edward explains this to Bella. 2. Back to Breaking Dawn, Alice and Jasper escape to a) find another hybrid kid who can vouch for Rasputin, and b) get away from Edward so he doesn’t know the plan. But why, I hear you ask. Because Alice knows Aro will read Edward’s mind and he can’t know Alice is looking for another hybrid kid. Aaaand the reason Aro can’t even begin to question if Alice has a plan is because, being the weasel he is, he would try to deflect any evidence the good guys have to support their claim that Rasputin is harmless. So it’s safer if the other hybrid guy comes in as a surprise witness. Because then Aro won’t have a chance to null their truth. Because… 3. By disqualifying the other hybrid guy, Aro would have all the reasons and excuses to "go to war" and kill the Cullen clan. Except for Alice and Edward, of course, who would have the option to repent by serving the Vulturi. That’s why they went and sought a fight with the Cullens, not because they were following the law but because they wanted to add those two freaks to their army. Something like that. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

[@swatisaini6447]

Beautifully explained

[@Shadowhunter420]

Are you 🐀???

[@walkingwith_dinosaurs]

Great Ted talk😊

[@lanabanana9583]

I'm sorry, Rasputin? 😂

[@h077y]

“Rasputin” killed me 😂

[@nexithedestroyer]

As someone who has read the books, it's bizzare to read the author try to talk about sex without saying the word sex, she only says it a few times through the breaking dawn book, the first time Bella and Edward have sex I missed it because she was trying write around having to say the damn word lol.

[@leahscontemporary]

As opposed to writing long drawn out smut scenes that provide no value or insight to the story as a lot of modern writers/books do these days? Like what do yall want at this point. Damned if you do damned if you don't I guess...

[@Moonlight_Shad0w]

​​@@leahscontemporaryyou can just simply leave them out. You can also write intimacy without it being explicit.

[@nexithedestroyer]

@@leahscontemporary who said she needed to write smut lol? i just thought it was ridiculous to write a sex scene in your book when you're afraid of saying the word sex. also, you can write a sex scene without it being smut it doesnt have to be black and white like that

[@leahscontemporary]

@Moonlight_Shad0w That's....literally what she did. What's not clicking

[@nexithedestroyer]

@@leahscontemporary it's not what she did. She was too scared to say what they were doing lol. You can write about sex without it being graphic smut, but if you're too scared to write the scene at all to the point where readers completely miss what happened, then you shouldn't be writing intimate scenes at all

[@Caitgreenham]

IMO Edward saying no to sex because of the physical issues Is the most responsible he has been as a love interest

[@TheWhiteGyrfalcon]

Bella's dad was legit the only character i liked in books and movie and played a believable guy, especially his reactions to his 18 yr old kid getting married

[@vitormartins3773]

I'm considering writing a Twilight What If that Bella, Edward and Jacob doesn't exist and the whole story revolve's around Charlie, in the middle of a murder investigation, finding out his best friend is a werewolf and the town doctor that everyone trusts is a vampire and they hate each other but he has to make them work together to find the murders

[@caffelatte103]

​@@vitormartins3773 wait that's actually a good plot 👏

[@Faroshkas]

@@vitormartins3773 my man just casually cooking the best idea and thought we wouldn't notice ???

[@Ghosty_Blues1]

Charlie carried the first book honestly LOL (I read it in like grade 5 or 6 before bed because it made me tired lmao)

[@WeirdSkellyK1]

Hrs even fucks it after Jacob tried to kiss Bella tho

[@arianaluna7219]

I had a friend in HS who’s family was mormon and her dad dated Stephanie while at BYU. She wasn’t allowed to read twilight to say the least 💀 her dad is in the books too as someone Bella rejected lol

[@thescarIetbitch]

wait who

[@thescarIetbitch]

which guy was he in the books

[@lottecooper4370]

Is it Tyler?

[@noranizaazmi6523]

Good lord, steph is not beating the self-insert allegations 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️

[@thescarIetbitch]

@@noranizaazmi6523 she never was 😔😔😔

[@jaimeerindy4573]

No genuinely I will NEVER understand how they went the whole series being like "we need to wait" because the whole thing is that it would KILL her... but then they just ignore because their married now!! I can't.

[@BleedingLiar17]

Stephanie meyer is how sadly 😒 she wants to promote the whole Virgin bride agenda that Mormons obsess over.

[@psychopathic_pineapple9562]

Okay but why was that song lowkey such a vibe

[@nightcrysalin]

Jacob's character development is so weird when you consider the fact he's apparently Meyer's favourite character

[@Princes_Luna]

NOOO THE GROOMERRR

[@Melissa-sx9vh]

Don't forget that he is also named after her BROTHER! What kind of deranged person names the love interest of her book after her own brother??

[@nightcrysalin]

@@Melissa-sx9vh I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

[@Breexbloodlust]

@@Melissa-sx9vh omg gross really?

[@Melissa-sx9vh]

@@Breexbloodlust yes! All of her siblings are characters in the saga but some have really prominent roles (Jacob, Seth) and some have kind of terrible characters/stories attached to them (Heidi, Emily, Paul)

[@greencharisard1444]

Watching ppl experience (or re-experience) Twilight for the first time is always such a treat. Like there is not a single person that doesn't go trough the 5 stages of grief by the end of the last movie 😂

[@Ketchupangel]

Gonna be singing “HOW COULD I CHOOSE BETWEEN GLITTER AND FUR??!!!” for the rest of MY LIFE!!

[@NikkiBudders]

I hate that that line is actually kinda fire. If I was unaware of the twilight connection i'd probably put it on my nostalgia playlist lol

[@nerfherder4284]

👍🏻 it was ironically awesome 👍🏻

[@nyoom7750]

that one scene at their honeymoon suite where bella says “it’s good to be human” or something confused me so bad because i swear on my life i haven’t ever seen it before (and i religiously watch the whole saga over and over) so idk if it’s a different version of the movie or if i just wasn’t paying attention??? has anyone else never seen that scene before??

[@leahdresser2290]

"Edward will be a good husband. I know this because I'm a cop. They know things. Like how to hunt somebody." Lol I can't

[@enchanted_wildflower_]

"I also have a gun" lol

[@alicedodobirb2808]

​@@enchanted_wildflower_"with silver bullets" (Some stories say vampires are weak to silver I can't remember if twilight is one of em.)

[@juliab3326]

​@@alicedodobirb2808Wasn't it wood for vampires and silver for werewolves?

[@alicedodobirb2808]

@@juliab3326 I actually already said how some stories change it in my last comment lol

[@JustPhasingBy]

As a brazilian, I have to say you nailed the novela editing. Now I want to watch the whole saga like this 😂

[@BrunoFernandes-ty7mf]

Porra seria bom demais HAHAHAHA

[@abelhapedras]

eu assistiria 100% HAHAHAHAHA

[@abelhapedras]

alguém da globo tem que conversar com a Stephenie sobre isso... caralho seria bom demais

[@JustMeAri]

Kkkkkkkkkk gente, o que vocês acharam dele falando "para ali, por favor?" Eu tive que assistir duas vezes pra entender o que ele tava falando kkkkkk

[@BrunoFernandes-ty7mf]

@@JustMeAri pior que eu achei beeem de boa. Pra um gringo safado ele se esforçou bem na minha opinião.

[@lucywoomy]

Never watched the movies, apparently I didn't miss much but I love how Charlie is just the normal dude whose daughter is constantly hanging around with weird guys that need therapy and she ends up pregnant and she dies?? Like at this point, his therapist is the one that recapped this entire thing in books lol

[@hannahcoria.]

He doesn’t know she gets pregnant or dies and becomes a vampire lol. They told him that the baby was their niece who he adopted

[@matthewjones2513]

"My stink I can't hide"😅 I've had those days.😢

[@mementomori1822]

The bit where she drinks blood out of a styrofoam cup for the baby LITERALLY had me dry heaving for the rest of the movie.

[@srenee8112]

Pretend it's tomato soup 😅

[@thatoddone321]

​@@srenee8112STOP-

[@MallyMcAlli]

Points because I remember too much about this series: -Alice and Jasper were gone the whole time bc they were looking for the other half-human vampire dude -I do believe that it was HEAVILY IMPLIED that the spine breaking thing was thanks to Renesmee kicking in utero and accidentally just shattering all of Bella's bones anyway I always found the part about Belle being pissed about the imprinting hilarious bc Jacob literally confides in her about how freaky and scary he finds the concept thanks to how his friends who have imprinted stop being themselves and only live for their imprinted, and how he hopes it never happens to him. Like he makes it VERY clear that they have NO CHOICE and there is NO WAY to change anything once it happens, they are tied to this person FOREVER, and then she acts like Jacob is being a perv on purpose. Like, Meyer set up this one true love thing soooooo badly lmao

[@Xushish]

In the book the baby breaks her ribs. The baby doesn’t make Bella’s spine snap but her bending down and with all the weight (she’s very frail as she gets no nutrition so she’s very slim) and she breaks her spine. Later on the baby is trying to eat itself out. The baby is very self conscious apparently as it knows it’s hurting her mother so it tries to make as minimal movement. In the book one of Jacob’s friends imprint on a baby. He doesn’t like it cus it’s a baby. He’s her babysitter and will wait for her. It’s talked about imprinting a lot. And apparently female wolves don’t imprint? Leah had some theory (can’t remember) about it and how she is a dead end. Jacob doesn’t want to imprint on someone. He even took Cullen car to some park to find a woman to imprint on to no avail. He tried to hard to imprint on someone when he can’t have Bella.

[@lunaralymphea]

I was about to add the alice thing when you swooped in, your services are appreciated lol

[@tamaralevi6076]

It's important to remember that Twilights has a timeline in the books. . . of less than two years. Bella turns 18, gets married, gets pregnant dies, becomes a vampire, and preps new magic powers for a war in like 14 months

[@Critic115]

THIS

[@ahleenah]

They also mention how her pregnancy is super short compared to human ones (that’s why they have that whole “it’s Edward’s niece” thing because it would’ve been impossible to have that child if she was normal) and that Renesme ages like three or five times as fast as a normal human child. And that Charlie doesn’t buy the whole “it’s Edward’s niece” thing bc she has Bella’s eyes but can’t explain the existence of the child otherwise. So he’s just permanently confused about her fast aging, but after Jacob’s whole “strip turn wolf” demonstration, decided for himself to just not ask anymore questions.

[@thechildd168]

18:35 the first time i watched that scene, i thought Jacob imprinted on the baby in a way like 'this my kid now, i need to protect her', not in the yucky pedo way 😭

[@oc.entity1287]

thats how it shouldve been