A Return to Salem's Lot - The Cinema Snob

The Cinema Snob reviews the 1987 sequel to Salem's Lot, this time directed by Larry Cohen.
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Writer/Creator: Brad Jones
Title Card: Shaun Millington
End Screen: Nick Michalak, www.ravensfilm.com
Music: Karl Casey at White Bat Audio
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• Rhymer-Man - Snob Nigh...
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[@SirAsdf]

I like how the vampires went from the most terrifying demonic force on Earth in the miniseries, to what is essentially an evil Homeowner's Association in this.

[@matthewmccoyd2578]

'Evil' Home Owners Associations seems a bit redundant...

[@ashleybrooke2087]

A powerful malevolent force dominates a community, draining the life from the neighborhood & enforcing their vile will on the populace. Also, they happen to be vampires too.

[@matthewmccoyd2578]

@@ashleybrooke2087 It's like Frieza being a galactic real estate speculator, it just kinda works

[@Hambie76]

I agree totally true. The first movie practically defined vampires for me but the sequel was such a step back that The Lost Boys were more terrifying!

[@dubuyajay9964]

There's a difference?

[@Void_The_Sinner]

25:53 lmao hit him with the ol' "CALL AN AMBULANCE!" 💀💀💀💀💀

[@rodrickwells2746]

FOR YOU 😂😂

[@tinkerer3399]

I remember some years ago I watched this at home and just as it was wrapping up my ex came in and asked me how it was. My response was: "I... I don't know..."

[@michaelryall5752]

Wait a movie where a quite small town is kept that way by a conspiring HOA group killing troublemakers and vagrants. Ok seriously did Edgar Wright ripoff this movie to make "Hot Fuzz"? Just remove the vampires and father/son bonding plot and add the "greater good" chant.

[@louisduarte8763]

THE GREATER GOOD!

[@NebLleb]

@@louisduarte8763 See as much as I appreciate your wild theories, Sergeant, the truth is far less complex. Blower's fate was simply the result of him being... an appalling actor. -APPALLING!

[@BlackAdam1231]

The Nazi hunter was the best one in the whole movie who was driving the bus like Mr Six in the Six Flags Commercial

[@michaelryall5752]

30:00 "America!" OK this movie is so hilariously insane I can't believe it's not a "bad movie night" classic.

[@LostGeburah]

A return to salem's lot + Cinema Snob = dear diary, jackpot!

[@celeboria]

R.I.P Lance Kerwin & David Soul

[@JeonardShadby505]

In the same genre of "based on (characters from) the story by Stephen King" as PET SEMATARY TWO, SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK... FOR MORE, and THE RAGE: CARRIE 2.

[@guillaumebabey4484]

It needs the unorthodox ways of Brad Jones to want to make me check out A Return to Salem after all the worst reviews this sequel got!! Hurray for Larry Cohen!!

[@bensneb360]

If it’s a Larry Cohen film, you know you’re in for a good time

[@KLegyyn]

Amen to that! . .

[@FrenchPaul1988]

You're skipping the Rob Lowe one ? Lloyd would so disapprove.

[@locnar1]

Maybe he's doing them in release order? But then he'd need to do the BBC RADIO version too.

[@sfighter0085]

I sure he'll get to it sometime. This was just an inbetweener for this "franchise".

[@PatrickMoore-yw6lu]

Bet Larry got the idea of vampire cows from Howard the Duck, as the comic series had a vampire cow character.

[@willday980]

There was a 1950s horror comic by Marvel (then Atlas Comics) that had a story with a whole herd of vampire cows. It was reprinted sometime in the 70s, but I can't recall what title.

[@williambeckett6336]

I'M IN. I had to see the review that was declared a BETTER movie than "Megalopolis."

[@jacobmatthewcrawford2120]

11:48 Man, Larry Cohen really seems to love killing his own kid... Amazon cannibals, child marriages, vampire cows, and Samuel Fuller... And I thought HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II was a bonkers sequel!

[@kevinislas3103]

That delivery of “Shit! We’ve been had!” Is amazing 😂

[@777JonT]

I had an old vhs of this one as a kid and completely loved it. Thought about it a lot as an adult. Finally found a copy a few years ago, and now it's a comfort movie several times a year. Long live A Return to Salem's Lot.

[@Robjr83]

Was hoping for one "Return to Shittin Cup" reference.

[@ProBreakers]

I randomly watched this a few years ago. It was on while I put up Halloween decorations in the house.

[@SpookyouKnowIt23]

I made a Phantasm reference at the same exact moment

[@patrickmullowney4220]

i loved this movie when i saw it on hbo as a child. thank you for covering this!

[@HurricaneDDragon]

22:39 That might be the best line delivery I’ve ever seen from a child actor. 😳👍🏽

[@madahad9]

The 2004 version was unspeakably bad and had some of the most unintentionally hilarious CGI effects. It ruins my favourite scene from the novel. It happens when the town school bus driver is awakened in the middle of the night by someone blasting the horn of his bus. When he goes out to investigate he finds the bus filled with vampire children. It's a genuinely chilling moment in the novel. I'm surprised that it didn't find its way into the '79 version. Perhaps it was sacrificed to keep the running time down, but you're probably only looking at five minutes of actual screen time. The 2004 remake takes more liberties with the novel than the '79 version. The only positive thing that I can say about it is Rutger Hauer as Mr. Barlow. He's closer to how he's described in the novel than the speechless Nosferatu type.

[@Arniepalm]

OMG. I’ve been waiting for this review for a while. Thank you!!!!! now time for the Early 2000s remake with the beloved Rob Lowe!

[@daveandreahoward8203]

Larry Cohen, master of AND THEN!

[@jeffreybarrow9788]

That does look like the bus from those Six Flags ads.

[@coreyhendricks9490]

Cool video as always Snob 💯

[@knightnday10]

This was a great vampire comedy movie .. not sure that it is a Salem's Lot sequel, but it is just great and your reactions to it made it work. Thanks Snob!

[@bilwisss]

i really love the 1979 Salem's Lot. a favorite all time film for me. . . . . . .. . .. . . . .

[@altonyoung3734]

The kid driving🤣🤣🤣

[@RaoulDuke77]

That old Nazi hunter guy is awesome, he should have been in more of the movie

[@ChaosTicket]

I saw Return to Salem's Lot only a few years ago. I found it while trying to find another film where vampires take over a town, Children of the Night. Its got a very interesting premise of a town completely converted to vampires and how they sustain their lifestyle.

[@Rahshu]

I can tell you had a great time! It showed. I also really enjoyed this movie. It is fun, it is interesting, and it does have some very interesting ideas. I own it for a reason! I enjoyed this episode more than most, too. Your energy really made it as the film gave you so much to go off of. I love seeing you happy. :)

[@christianninsananda9626]

I remember an old Howard the Duck comic where he was fighting Bessie the Hellcow... drawn with a black Dracula cape and a cowbell chain.

[@LucyLioness100]

My mom couldn’t stand the OG miniseries cause the book freaked her out so bad. She was so mad at me picking your review of the ‘79 series one time. Glad I got to chat for a bit tonight after “Caligula”

[@johnoneil9188]

There is actually a German children´s movie called The Little Vampire that has vampire cows in it. I have not watched the original movie or the review if Brad made one but I can tell the tone of this sequel is weird as hell, I dig it though.

[@aliasfakename3159]

This feels like a prequel to True Blood

[@squi12elnuts]

Custody hearing? "I don't want him, you take him" 😂

[@orinanime]

So neat bit of trivia: Ricky Addison Reed was the first/original choice to play Dick Grayson/Robin in the 1989 Batman before that idea was scrapped. Then Marlon Wayans was the follow-up choice. Before the character was written out of Batman '89 and Returns entirely.

[@lasertaster]

I knew this movie existed and could have sworn I’d seen it before…but wow no I definitely had not, I think I’d remember that batshit plot. This was a fun episode

[@DavidDrouant]

The bus scene was actually pretty cool

[@peterkrug4124]

Now I want to see the Snob review the 2004 SALEM'S LOT🧛🧛‍♂🧛‍♀

[@melanieparker]

I remember TV Guide gave this movie three stars in the 1990s.

[@HARLEYMK69]

I love Michels epic acting in The Stuff lol

[@perm3227]

What a hilariously crazy movie 😂

[@Launchpad05]

Vampire cows? Did the makers of this movie read 'Howard The Duck' comics in the 70's?

[@Jonas-lj8ul]

Who didn't?

[@SCL8294]

I actually think this is one of Larry Cohen's more entertaining movies. He has a lot of good ideas, but often questionable execution.

[@ashleybrooke2087]

Cohen's films tend to have a rather pulp magazine fiction kind of vibe to them in their concepts & I'm not sure how much of that always translate well onto the screen. Like this movie gives Tales from the Crypt comics vibes with some of the dialogue & plot points.

[@Otzchieem]

The acting was perfect from everyone the dialogue was excellent he can’t actually control time that’s in his head it’s having a vision you need to be in the moment sometimes and sometimes you need to be in the past and that’s how you can see into the future and Julia could see him for who he is which is love. This movie is a masterpiece and I thought I would see an okay movie or a good one. This is going to be watched and loved in 30 years. You sir are a mouth breather and only liked those other ford films after they were old and lack any ability to analyze because you are more concerned with other people’s opinion. This is crazy what people are saying

[@sfighter0085]

I caught this movie on the pre-Syfy Sci-Fi Channel. They showed this along with the 1979 "Salem's Lot" miniseries. It's definitely less a "Salem's Lot" sequel, and more in name only sequel. I will say, I do dig the theme for the movie by Michael Minard, really eerie. :)

[@03bgood]

The father and son moving to a new town was done a lot better in Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice than it was in the one.

[@d.bcooper7819]

Speaking of vampires, I’m really looking forward to Brad’s review of Nosferatu!

[@adamcammack3534]

Please do the 2004 series nobody talks about it

[@buxzw1945]

This looked like a really fun film, but I got a feeling it was better to watch it this way.

[@taylormademyself89]

This is a classic 😅

[@adamo6250]

No, they did make a sequel with vampire cows, it's called Little Vampires

[@DarkmanPoe]

True story - Ricky Addison Reed almost played Robin in "Batman" (1989)...back when Robin was still going to be in the movie.

[@michaelthomas5433]

Of course! Pink milk comes from vampire cows!!

[@pyrodiscoflash6115]

This is Already a Winner with Michael Moriarty just Showing up, always Laughing all the way through

[@goldreplicant2032]

Twin Peaks. My all-time favorite. I know it's a long show, but it would make one hell of a series on this channel. Older seasons still hold up. But uh don't make the mistake of stopping at the Twin Peaks restaurant in TN, I went there with my girlfriend looking for Dale Cooper or TV show memorabilia. That is not what we found lol. Not unless they took inspiration from One Eyed Jacks.

Which Twin Peaks in TN, the one in Brentwood or Madison, Nashville?

[@kylejohnson423]

30:13 it makes sense that sometimes the gun is way too accurate, and other times, it misses at point blank. It's the same gun megatron transforms into.

[@KLegyyn]

How... the hell am I this early?! . .

[@jostockton.]

Grandpa Snob in the thumbnail 😆

[@Legather]

Must....watch.... Twin Peaks... in its.... entirety.

[@mammajamma4397]

WAIT! You HAVE to review The Stuff!!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!

[@angelica6645]

`Specially since the recent release of The Substance.

[@mammajamma4397]

@@angelica6645 omfg that's perfect 🤣

[@YY-mi9rf]

I thought the rubbery masked vampire was Rawhead Rex.

[@thespacebat]

Ok so I'm a big fan of the original novel and I'm pretty excited for a new adaptation of it, the lastest version of IT and Pet Semetary was great IMO.

[@narcolepticchihuahuaproduc1801]

16:54. I thought that was Brother Theodore from The Burbs at first (Uncle Klopek).

[@tremorsfan]

You should do a review of Larry Cohen's Q: The Winged Serpent.

[@Chilanta24]

Kinda miss on the old intro. Good reason to go back and walk the older eps. 👍🏾

[@darthrowsdower3554]

I dont know why i expected this to be a top tear vampire flick when i first viewed. I should of had my expectations low and my alcohol level very high. By the way, I would love to see you review vampire circus 1972.

[@willday980]

"Shiki" (corpse demon) is an anime that is pretty much Salem's Lot in Japan.

[@dbsommers1]

Rip off. Total rip off. I was so annoyed I wasted my time.

[@zombiebassman]

They probably couldnt do a vampire cow sequel for fear of Marvel suing them over similarities to thier own vampire cow character Bessie aka Hellcow (yes thats a real Marvel character, first appearing in Giant Size Man Thing # 5 in 1975)

[@JoeyJ0J0]

Jeremy is awesome

[@MrCjosue24]

I watched the movie months ago! But I think the first one is better

[@cannabiscovepnw]

Time to do the Rob Lowe version, then the new Max edition!

[@funandyvideos]

The phrase "a mockbuster of Dutch" is salve for the savage soul. Matlock jokes, dated and timeless all at once.

[@MundMoriginal]

I miss the analogue camera mic buzzing.

[@Mr_1Ballwhale]

I need to find that episode of matlock

[@funkyweapon1981]

I liked the original miniseries and the book better. I need to revisit both next month.

[@schumanhuman]

18m43 Why does he sing the line 'Serve? Be a slave you mean!' was this going to be a musical at one point?

[@zachbrehany2253]

This is a weird finale to Dark Shadows.

[@mercenaryknight5419]

Would love to see you tear into the 2004 adaptation TBH.

[@nathaniellevesque2782]

I hope you'll cover Halloween Ends this month

[@Quinntus79]

Okay, but do these vampires connect to the Shine vampires in Dr. Sleep?

[@MrBjanders]

This film has Larry Cohen's eccentricities all over it. I think it's a terrible sequel to Salem's Lot, but it's entertainingly deranged as its own thing.

[@FrenchPaul1988]

How does it work as a sequel to Salem's Lot though ? Beside taking place in a town called that and the vampires... Hell, replace the vampires with deformed mutants and it could be an It's Alive 4 where the mutant babies have grown to adulthood, are living in a small town and are becoming more intelligent as they are raising cows for milk and meat.

[@pablosilva6988]

Wow. Ben stone from law and order.

[@louisduarte8763]

10:41 OOH! Review THAT movie please! There's a lack of Nick Cage movie reviews on your channel, sir! 11:54 Must make for some awkward family dinners. 17:17 What? Really?! 25:47 There lies where most of the effects budget went. 30:05 AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!

[@christopherobrien8105]

"Dead and Buried" review when?

[@crank3751]

I've never watched Return To Salems Lot. But i've watched enough critiques to know that i'm never going to watch Return To Salems Lot

[@crusadergamer4995]

Despite this movie not making any sense it's funny

[@AmariieMaerthos]

I need to know the opening theme song

[@adammarrow5980]

NO! If we get a vampire cow film it has to be in the MCU!

[@onlocationkat]

This cult classic bad movie was fun back in the day. I was a teenager when it came out. Yikes. Maybe it's the nostalgia.

[@tracydearman-g9l]

Carriage handy J hilarious

[@seamonie48]

Why did the cinema snob have to censor the word fuck from the kid at 6:07?

[@TheGoodLad89]

This Movie definitely suffered, from lack of James Mason.

[@jasonjimerson7046]

Just like in Q The Winged Serpent, Michael Moriarty is the best thing in this movie.

[@mrnobody2683]

22:39 after you punk No wonder he never acted again

[@mrnobody2683]

25:55😂

[@atorifanl6153]

Ben Stone has a real name? Weird

[@jackdoobie]

Matlock done it