a trans guy "coming out" video I guess?

Yeah so hello :) If you don't know who the feck I am then hello, I'm Noah and I used to be/identify with transgender masculine non-binary. I should add something cause at the time that I was identifying as non-binary I really felt like it. Gender at that time, in general, was a huge thing for me because I got misgendered a lot, I had a lot of dysphoria and was in the process of getting on T etc. Identifying as non-binary gave me a lot of confidence, self affirmation and something to hold on to while I was struggling with all that stuff. Testosterone just made me more ok with myself and I don't care about those labels anymore. I'm just chill now and feel like I can start living my life as me. Gender and LGBTI+ is still something that I care about and will continue to make videos about. I hope this makes sense!
If you have any questions then you can DM me on Instagram, Twitter or leave it in the comments below :)
Ciao,
Noah
MUSIC:
Sufjan Steven's "no shade in the shadow of the cross "cover by my friend Geerte: / geerteverduijn
(she is also an amazing photographer)
Sufjan Steven's "should have known better" cover • Sufjan Stevens - Shoul...
(I have no rights to the music of these songs obviously)
My Links
►INSTAGRAM: @noah_hella
►TWITTER: @noah_hella
►DEPOP: @noah_hella
►SPOTIFY: open.spotify.c...

[@NoahHella]

Thank you all for you lovely comments and support ❤️ I was honestly afraid that I would get shit for this but his proves again that 1) I shouldn’t be afraid to be myself and 2) that you people are amazing!

[@percyjackson8343]

It actually happens a lot that transpeople will come out as non-binary first. But just because some people use it as a stepping stone doesn't mean we should undermine the way non-binary feel. Good video btw

[@JaysJourney]

Proud of you for figuring yourself out and growing as a person.💙

[@HannahsBananas21]

i also identified as nonbinary before i realized that im a binary trans guy....it is rough feeling like youre part of "the problem" of the invalidation of nonbinary people, but being confused or unsure about your gender isnt the same as purposefully using the label as a "soft coming out" to test the waters, as you might say, before identifying as binary trans. You shouldnt feel bad or guilty about discovering yourself, and i think just by being an ally to nonbinary people and advocating for their existence and validation you are having a positive affect on the community.

[@voidxeditor5506]

Noah, I’m proud of you for telling us. We still support you no matter what! P.s I love the colour of your eyes.

[@dcs1209]

I felt the same when I found you. You made me realize it’s okay to feel masculine but also wanna identify as non binary but as I went on I found out I’m more ftm than non binary so I wang to say thank you again for helping me realize who I am!

[@LaLaLoopsyFirstLover]

im so proud of u!!! everyone identifies as the gender they’re comfortable identifying with. you are you no matter what. rock on, Noah. 💙

[@_k4ssiopeia_416]

Isn't the whole gender identity thing just about what feels right for you anyway? If nonbinary felt right for you for some time, then it probably was right at that time. So don't worry :) thanks for sharing this and have a great time!

[@inkbenderandonabender6480]

Proud of you dude! And don't worry, in order to figure yourself out, sometimes people need to go through various 'phases'. And if that helped you to now identify as the person you really are, that's just amazing! And if u decide later in life, this wasn't the right decision, which I don't think is gonna happen, that's also great. Never let anyone tell u who u are :) BTW I'M SO HAPPY MY BINDER ARRIVED JUST 10 MINUTES AGO AND I'M INTERNALLY SCREAMING, I'M SO HAPPY.. I haven't come out yet, but I made a lot of excuses why there was a package at our front door haha

[@NoahHella]

Jensen Collins happy for you mate! Hope the binder fits :)

[@virg0_lem0nade]

this video is great and so are you!! ❤️ i’m somewhere in the murky waters of transmasculine lmao, it’s an ongoing journey of many years for me to figure out whether i am truly nonbinary or if decades of trauma and dysphoria and shame are what’s actually keeping me from being comfortable seeing myself as a man. i came out as genderqueer like 7 years ago before the term “nonbinary” was really being used by anybody to describe their gender and the friends and lifelines i’ve made in that community have been so crucial. *edit to include this part* lol: ever since having the realization that gender itself is not inherently binary, it’s made me realize too that even people who are men or women, even cis people, are also outside of the gender binary, since those two genders arent the only two, and arent necessarily “opposites”. i dunno, i’m waxing on lol, big love to all transmasc & transfemme & nonbinary folks out there ❤️🌟❤️🌟

[@ilsedewilt4151]

You should never have to apologize for evolving. Nourishing is flourishing

[@NoahHella]

Ilse de Wilt thanks ils ❤️❤️

[@ilsedewilt4151]

Noah Hella 😘

[@noah-cn8wf]

noah i’m really really proud of you, you are amazing and i support you boyyy💙

[@cloudmouton3894]

You do you my dude, when I first came out I thought I was strictly ftm, but I’ve gone through like 4 different labels to get to the one I’m at now

[@ramblingrowen3301]

I’m so happy for you that you feel comfortable enough to make this video. Also happy because I really needed this video at the moment.💜

[@SpitAndDrool]

hey Noah don't feel bad about changing your label it's really up to you! if back then you felt like non-binary suited you the most then it's fine you don't have to apology for using it, really :-) actually i admire you for beeing honest with your feelings! this is truly inspiring. whatever is fine as long as you feel good!! take care

[@__-dm3jc]

I think its awesome that youre feeling more and more comfortable in your own skin and you dont need to apologize to anyone because we're all in our own individual journeys in this world, I'm happy for you 😊😊😊

[@drawwithruby4801]

I can’t believe someone disliked this 😠 Awesome video 💙

[@leopoldcook1349]

Gender is Fluid and so are we! It was valid that you identified as non binary and its valid that you don't feel that same way now. We shouldn't be trapped by labels, just free to be who we are and love who we love.

[@neopets97]

Congrats, dude. I hope all of us can get to the point where we're comfortable just being.

[@spiritedrenee9895]

Be proud to be yourself Noah! You're videos helped me understand that I myself am non binary but if you're more comfortable being FTM that's okay!

[@noahbov5987]

Happy to hear that you're getting more comfortable with yourself! (Gender is so confusing wow. I related a lot to Miles Mckenna and you, bc you were both identifying as masc nonbinary people, but you both ID as binary dudes now, so I'm honestly wondering if I'll go through the same.. oOp ahah)

[@whatgenderami]

proud of you, Noah. i think it's totally legit to feel as though the language you use for yourself is fluid. it doesn't make non-binary any less real. one of the things that i often think about is how the language we use to talk about ourselves evolves as we do, and i sense that's what you're discussing. your identity is valid. i guess i just want to keep reminding you of that. so if you ever need another reminder, let me know :)

[@IsaLevens]

Gender confuses me so much, I stopped trying to identify with anything, but the fact that there were all these non-binary people online I could look up to made me feel a lot better about myself. Especially as someone who looks mostly feminine and is always addressed to as she and her (except for in the nursing home I work, I get "mis"gendered there quite a bit and it's awesome), it was nice having other people "look" a certain way while not necessarily feeling that way all the time. I feel kind of bad for feeling bad when someone who used to identify as non-binary no longer does. I guess this says everything about me and nothing about said people. Regardless I'm really glad you're starting to become more and more yourself, and it's just lovely seeing your journey and growth. Keep it up 💙

[@virg0_lem0nade]

Isa Levens - i totally know the feeling you mean about how it feels to watch someone you were using as a positive model for your own self-expression turn out to actually be a different gender than u! (i dont personally have that feeling myself about this video or this situation but have felt it a loooot as a trans person!! both in real life situations and on youtube) anyway im just writing to say i find it helps me to make sure my youtube subscriptions are a varied mix between people i watch because i relate to them, and people i watch because i just enjoy their content, or i want to learn more about their different experience! like, every time someone who i was watching because i identified with them, ends up coming out as a gender i do not identify with, i stay subscribed and i support them BUT then i also realize i need to supplement whatever emotional need of mine that that was filling! sometimes by checking out some different youtuber ive never seen before, who is currently in the same position as i am (:

[@ebogar42]

Because gender is a society construct and not real.

[@jordenavery4929]

always going to love and support you man. you’re growing so much, and it’s wonderful to see🌻💛

[@robint8855]

I totally get you man. When I first came out I came out as non-binary because I think I was afraid of coming out as a trans guy. And whilst I still feel like mentally I do have a bit of gender fluidity, I feel more comfortable identifying as a male and being perceived as a guy 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@ebogar42]

If you're born a guy and identify as a male, how the hell are you trans?

[@ItsRazBieber]

so happy for you Noah! I'm sure this was really hard to make, and I really appreciate you talk about this topic because the same thing happened to me when I had to accept that I'm a trans guy, so this makes me feel less alone and also okay with my feelings.​ thank you.

[@taylorswan9565]

I went through the same so I totally hear you on this! Whoever you decide Noah is ---> Thats the right ending :-)

[@bat.tapestry]

Noah were all so fucking proud of you and were happy for you. Thank you for letting us come on your constant journey of better understanding yourself.

[@ayenadine6138]

Ah I'm so proud of you! You're still you and I like you a lot :)

[@ayenadine6138]

Don't ever doubt our support or acceptance. I've switched labels too (sexuality wise and gender wise just was a mess for like a year) and take it from this non binary person, I'm not mad or offended or anything at you having identified (can I say that?) as non binary. It felt right at the time so who am I to be mad or offended at that?

[@feenellis]

I only just stumbled across your channel recently but I already resonate with what you're saying. You're modest but also honest which I really like. I'm really proud that you feel you're able to tell your audience this part of your life :)))))

[@NoahHella]

Fynn Hinckley thank you that means a lot!

[@ianaliciaperry5243]

I'm so happy for you!! Please, please do not feel bad, your journey is %100 your own, not to mention that is a very common experience. I am transmasculine non-binary and, for me, T has not changed how I identify exactly (and my pronouns have not changed), but it has dramatically affected my experience of my gender and, of course, my social experience (which has been amazing ☆.☆). It's also affected my sexuality in much the same way it has for you and I've met A LOT of people in the community who've had similar experiences. I think one thing that is interesting about gender and especially about the experience of taking hormones is how differently each person is affected in terms of physical vs mental/emotional. Physical dysphoria that I didn't even know I had has diminished or disappeared entirely and I'm definitely just more comfortable in my own skin, but the really dramatic thing for me has been my mental/emotional state and everything related to it. I am kind of a mix between male and agender and my physical experience of gender has never been particularly strong, so maybe that is why. Either way it had been interesting to watch everyone's experience with this stuff and how it differs. I'm excited to keep seeing your life unfold, your perspectives are always awesome and we are very fortunate that you share them with us. :)

[@guillerminathomas1586]

I see you and appreciate you as Noah, and you can do whatever you want as long as that makes you happy and doesn't hurt others, you don't need to justify your happiness. You're amazing dude, thanks for sharing your journey ❤

[@kitcyning8887]

Wow, such a well spoken video. Proud of your confidence to make this step.

[@noahampe5899]

Super proud of you Noah, keep being you dude!! This takes bravery, good for you

[@LukaHauptmann]

Just do what feels right for you and that’s cool ;D gender is just a social construct in the end and we should all just do what makes us feel most comfortable!

[@Jack-cd2wl]

Gender itself isn't a social construct, however gender roles are.

[@cidney9766]

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with change. Change is a part of life.

[@exclusiveboi1723]

I’m the same. I think I figured out I only had more of a political nonbinary identity because I hated gender roles growing up since I just wanted to wear boys clothes and do boys things etc. Now I think I’m just a transmale who would love a world without such a binary divide

[@ebogar42]

You hated gender roles but want to wear boys clothes and do boy things that are gender roles? Makes no fucking sense.

[@CharlieDanvers]

It's okay dude, don't worry about like the world or whatever you do you and sometimes it takes some time to figure it out. It's all a process.

[@marikethan6411]

First when I came out in school as transgender that just made me more dysphoric because I had the felling that people would look differently on me. I don't know I felt like I had to show ppl that I am a guy But that is a hard thing to do with a girls body. And I just felt bad. But my friends helped to show me I'm a boy even though I don't have a male body. And it helped me that even teachers call me Marik and he/him

[@hannekevoskuilen1841]

First of all, love this video😍 it was amazing and so so inspiring. Are you Dutch?

[@NoahHella]

Hanneke Voskuilen thank you and yes I am :)

[@sanderh.c.1927]

I've had the same issue! I identified as genderfluid before and now I just see myself as a trans guy. I think for me the issue was that I wanted to embrace my femininity and I didn't know how to do that while being a binary guy bc I was afraid of what people would think... Anyways I'm glad that you've found yourself, keep up the good work ❤️

[@parkergriswold9199]

I kinda went through the same process you did (though I’m not on t yet). I originally came out as non binary when I was still confused about my gender but after I had been socially transitioning for about 6 months I slowly realized I felt more and more like just a trans guy. I’m still me, and my gender is very fluid, but I just chose to change my label.

[@TheFreakMelanie]

Be who you wanna be ☺ don't know you, but you seem like a decent guy that's trying his best in being comfortable in himself, and that's an amazing quality to have - keep it up! ☺

[@t-shades7148]

It's always okay to realize something new about yourself. Plenty of nonbinary people stay nonbinary, and I'm comfortable enough in my identity to see that sometimes people realize they're not. Plus, people usually think nonbinary people are just confused cis who will detransition, so you're still challenging their assumption.

[@shannonhiggins9400]

As long as u deal with the dysphoria u have in a way that will make u happy do whatever go by whatever pronouns u feel are right 💙💙💙 keep yourself happy loved the video btw mr

[@DutchDigit]

Helemaal goed Noah! Verandering is normaal en okee. Dank voor je video's! x

[@majomunoz7845]

So cool video! Very emotional to me ♡

[@thirisha26]

ahhh so happy for you bro !!

[@matthiasausfrankfurt]

The most important sentence is "I'm just Noah." That's it. We don't need all those labels. Thank you for being Noah!

[@BeauMeztli]

Nothing to do with your video but, man, you have really beautiful eyes! And voice! First time I watched one of your videos... I just had to say this haha

[@nicolodelisi3421]

Great Video /'I'm male' ,Non- Binary (and will have Operation's to by Genderless ,maybe at at End to by Female )You so great Inspiration for me.I like your Videos!

[@damianaugust8491]

Great you found that out about yourself! And don't beat yourself up for coming out as non-binary first. The whole life journey is twisted for most people, why should the trans journey be straight, of all things (oh, what a bad pun...)? If it's any comfort to you, for me it went the other way round. I started my trans journey assuming I was a binary guy, and now I am at a point very similar to yours: Labels are not so important anymore. People don't read me as female, and that is the main thing. But turns out, I am definitley not 100% male. So I am beginning to embrace the idea that I am not so binary as I thought I was. With our two stories together, the great gender-universe will be balanced again, I think, so don't worry... ;-)

[@joewilloughby1705]

Honest Noah, honesty, always key and they way to the true you. Thanks for sharing x

[@Loganharris125]

Im proud of you, sir!

[@leyadam7284]

Why hating on you? Its your life and it was your way to get into that processus. You just found yourself and I think that finding ourselves is a never ending process. So keep your head Up.

[@jackmajor1844]

Looking great bud! Video content is A+++++

[@NoahHella]

Jack Major thanks mate, it means a lot that you say that cause I really like your content :)

[@geoffdad7094]

Super proud of you dude

[@linneamariequentin8216]

First: It's super brave of you to just be yourself. :) And second: I've got a question: What does it feel like speaking with a deep(er) voice? Does it hurt or feel any different than before? And what I also don't quite understand, is that I just read an article that said (I'm sorry it's in german:D) Männlicher Kontrabass gegen weibliche Geige Dass Männerstimmen tiefer klingen als Frauenstimmen liegt daran, dass die Stimmlippen bei Männern im Schnitt ein Viertel länger sind als bei Frauen. Sie schwingen dann langsamer - beim Sprechen rund 100 Mal pro Sekunde - und klingen tiefer. Die weiblichen Stimmlippen schwingen mehr als doppelt so schnell. Vorstellen kann man sich das wie bei den Saiten eines Kontrabasses, die im Vergleich langsamer schwingen und damit tiefer klingen als die einer Geige. ---> So, does that mean the "Stimmlippen" grow (in lenght) by taking testosterone? :0 I don't understand this process; I mean, like is that possible? (I'm so sorry for using english and german, but since you're dutch I thought maybe you understand german a bit, and if not there's always your best friend: the google translator.xD) Hope you are having a good day, goodbye.:))

[@user-yq1kq9bw4q]

Proud of you man!

[@kirishima638]

hugs x

[@robertrist2300]

Noah are you ok I haven't heard from you in awhile I miss your videos and when I see them you make my day and I want you to be happy in life to I would do anything for you just ask of me anytime you want take care my friend love Michael from Nashville Tennessee

[@Odjeto]

I have so much love for you ❤️

[@NoahHella]

Hol Wild CUTE

[@nicetoad]

i was the same, identified as agender, then transmasculine nonbinary, then i realised I'm just a dude

[@AliceOlsthoorn]

Aaaah proud!!

[@sarahbnm]

PUPPPYYYYY ALLERRTTT❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@NoahHella]

Sarah Ben Hahahah says who ;) ❤️

[@mino9377]

Goddamn his voice is heaven okay fi8 me

[@333DOT.]

the comments here are so nice

[@keirastorm6563]

Being yourself is normal, just do you :)

[@robertrist2300]

Noah you are what you feel on the inside and I believe in you and back you up in life for who you are and.i proud to do that for you and you are my friend too for life ok take care my friend and ask of me anything I can do to be there for you just ask me ok later you handsome perfect looking man to me. Mr GQ

[@virg0_lem0nade]

❤️❤️❤️ such a sweet comment

[@robertrist2300]

Thank you i care about people on this earth

[@virg0_lem0nade]

i wish there were more people like you in the world, Robert! 💓🙏🏻🌟

[@robertrist2300]

guzma's golisopod me to i would give my life up like Jesus did so i could save humanity to that's how much I care and Noah is a good friend and i would take care of him if he wanted me to that's how much believe in him

[@kerrolicia9292]

💕 such a cutie

[@NoahHella]

Kerr Olicia haha tnx

[@alexanderbulten7751]

Proud of you!!

[@NoahHella]

Alexander Bulten thanks :)

[@devinarmstrong1406]

Tree/trim from raegan and Sams video about trans jokes

[@NoahHella]

Devin Armstrong well done :)

[@hads5279]

You are not hurting the non-binary community or the bisexual community. You are you and you cannot be anything else! I’m agender, but I feel huge spikes of masculinity and I’ll desperately want to be on T, but it’s not all the time. It’s really confusing.

[@NoahHella]

cheers :)

[@Cameron-np7hw]

Would love to beable to talk to you I watched a lot of ur vids and would love some advice

[@funny29041]

Proud of you

[@finleysmith4749]

You’re so handsome in jealous

[@alexwestphal200]

You remind me of ansel ergot(i think thats how you spell it)

[@NoahHella]

Alex Westphal oh shit he’s handsome tnx ❤️

[@glynwatkins9968]

he's cute

[@DogLover1718]

YOUR CUTE 🥰 SO CUTE

[@numberonedad7924]

i don't know if you'll reply but i'm questioning my gender and i seriously can't see the difference between men and women. What does it mean to be a guy? I can't figure out what my gender actually is because I'm stuck trying to figure out what a "man" is and what a "woman" is

[@mathissemulder406]

Trots op je ouwe

[@NoahHella]

Mathilde Mulder thanks pik

[@Jack-ow9ir]

I'm proud of you :)