A Woman’s Place | Ep. 208

Jen reviews Harrison Butker’s famous speech, as a fellow member of the Catholic ghetto. Listen to the end for Jen’s version of the speech!
She also asks if she’s crazy for not being sad when her youngest kid graduated from elementary school.
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[@user-nx6jf3di6z]

Harrison Butker - I have seen many Catholic people comment on his speech agreeing that his statements are in line with Catholic teachings(Including priests ) Its not though. A a single 40 year old Catholic woman, I can testify that marriage and children does not always happen for everyone. I took offense to his comments about women and marriage.. . You are the first public figure I have seen to declare this. Thank you. I kept thinking every time I heard the famous part, so being a nun is no longer an acceptable vocation? I think Mother Angelica and Mother Treasa would disagree. I can't help but wonder if he thinks we should de-canonize all women saints who were not married and biological mothers.? I loved the part you talked about where he made it about him. It was his pride a lack of humility that caused this. I mean the next part as a genuine prayer- Thank God that man did not get the job at Sirius XM! I would have never listened to you on the radio. You probably would not have this life changing podcast. It has been a true inspiration for me, especially this year! ( My life has been a small dumpster fire) Thank you! I am typing this with tears of gratitude streaming down my face.

[@angelamurphy7160]

Such a great point! I thought that too about women's vocations; what about being a nun?

[@lindsey3088]

I appreciate your point for sure. And while he does not fully address the vocation of men to the extent that you did in your (fantastic) re-write, he does say: “To the gentlemen here today: Part of what plagues our society is this lie that has been told to you that men are not necessary in the home or in our communities. As men, we set the tone of the culture, and when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction and chaos set in. This absence of men in the home is what plays a large role in the violence we see all around the nation. Other countries do not have nearly the same absentee father rates as we find here in the U.S., and a correlation could be made in their drastically lower violence rates, as well. Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things. Never settle for what is easy. You might have a talent that you don’t necessarily enjoy, but if it glorifies God, maybe you should lean into that over something that you might think suits you better” So, yes he is a bit rad trad, but he is not quite in the same camp as the podcast bros. They have tendency to put it all on women and he does talk about men being in the home. It isn’t anywhere near perfect and definitely reflects only one way to live out Catholicism, NOT the universal call to holiness. But I have to applaud his efforts and don’t think he is in the same vein as the podcast bros… just maybe lacking in foresight on how to write for the sound bite culture.

[@mrosestep]

That would have been an incredible speech! I would have loved to hear him compare the winning a super bowl to holding his son or daughter for the first time. What an incredible sound bite that would have been!

[@tbgintheworks5636]

I have been WAITING for your response to this and it did not disappoint. Everything you said answers my deepest gut disturbed feelings since I heard the speech. Keep speaking the truth!

[@ldoe8731]

As a 47-year old convert to Catholicism, I just kinda shrugged when I heard Harrison's speech because I'm not easily offended. Jen, you actually made me get a bit mad over it, so thanks for that! Really though, that aside, I was a girl who wanted to be married and have a bunch of kids when graduating from college. It didn't happen that way and his speech would have made me feel like utter crap and a failure, because I understood that having that kind of life was not granted at that point to me and the reality of it NEVER being possible was starting to sink in - it sank in so much over the following years that I just kept going on to get higher degrees. It DID finally happen and I have a great husband and 2 kids now. Being a mom is great, but telling a young girl who DOES want to be that (but feels like it might not ever happen) is about the worst thing you can do. Jen, you put it into great perspective and I agree that his mind is in a different spot than most.

[@tpangle17]

100% could NOT wait for your take on this!!! Commenting before I listen to bump you up to 17 youtube followers.

[@doateacher6492]

Your bangs look fine and I'm glad you're OK! You had me a little worried last week. My daughter, who has always been homeschooled, starts high school next week and I'm excited for her but also really sad just because I'll miss her during the day. We do live intentionally so I don't have regrets about that, though. When the Harrison Butker speech blew up and everybody on my Facebook started to have discussions about women's roles, I started to refer people back to your "Try Not to Die Today Parents" episode.

[@brendashope1558]

Love this! Thanks for distilling down what the real issue was with that speech. It sounded much more evangelical Christian than what I have always learned as a Catholic. I appreciate the voices that aren’t afraid to speak up for what our faith truly calls us to. (I never noticed the bangs, but have completely done the same complete with meltdown 😂)

[@X_MissMary_X]

I've been waiting for the Jen take on the Harrison Butker speech since the drama started!

[@_-ANNE-_]

She did not disappoint! Brilliant!

[@X_MissMary_X]

@@_-ANNE-_ We need a reel of it!

[@X_MissMary_X]

Specifically, need a reel of the commencement speech - Jen's version

[@dtkatiebrowne]

Was waiting on pins and needles for the Jen take on the Harrison Butker speech and it did not disappoint! That part totally rubbed me the wrong way but I couldn’t figure out why and thought I was the problem!

[@_-ANNE-_]

Jen, as always, you hit the nail on the head with your take. I always appreciate your analysis of pop culture, life, & and theological, psychological, sociological and philosophical topics. 🙌

[@jgrec13]

The closing of the book - definitely why some of us cry. I failed to appreciate what I had at the time and now it’s gone. My oldest graduates from high school soon and I’m a total wreck.

[@saragrafpiano]

You’re the best, Jen. Awesome commentary 👏

[@jacintaflorence2451]

Jen, so happy you do these episodes every week. I love hearing your hot takes on current events. BTW, your bangs look fabulous.

[@jdotoz]

That's a pretty good take overall, and balances out what was missing (and what I should have seen missing before). Couple of things: I don't think it's necessarily presumptuous to anticipate marriage and children, or to be excited for the prospect of them. If you feel these things are your vocation, it's not unreasonable to desire to begin - though tempered with the "if God wills" understanding. About twenty years ago I had the fortune to be in the audience when David Robinson came back to his college to give a talk. The talk was largely forgettable, but what has stuck with me ever since was his answer to an audience question: "You have two NBA Championship rings and a Naval Academy class ring; which ring are you most proud of?" "My wedding ring."

[@ellenblumhardt3145]

Gonna need some clips of this one to share around! 👏👏👏

[@momsnewlife1197]

I have 9 kids. I took 1 to 2 hours everynight to myself. It kept me sane. We only went one vacation. I was happy and sad when they moved out.

[@simoneseagle482]

That was awesome! I wish I had gotten that speech when I graduated. And your bangs were fine!

[@VoitheiaEng]

He said that for men too... before saying to women.

[@kristenbrady02]

Wow! Congratulations to your son for the 4.0! Amazing! 👏

[@nikkinathan6813]

Ok so when is your rewrite speech gonna be a clip??? Cause I’m gonna need to send that around to some peeps…

[@dramafreek92]

Generally I like your takes. This take I was not a fan of. I appreciate you breaking down true Catholic beliefs and explaining them and being a spokesperson for the faith and being kind of a middleman for those who are Catholic and those who are not and what the beliefs are. That being said, I really wish you would have listened to the entire speech before you gave your take. There was a lot said in it that I think you would have also addressed not just the women's stuff. On top of that as a mom in the thick of it with two littles I personally took his speech as saying don't listen to the lie society has portrayed that you have to be a career woman I think he was reminding women that it's okay to want the vocation of motherhood. Also I think it's a disservice to think he assumed all women were going to be moms and wives because I think it's important to look at the language he used where he said things like many of you and most of you and he also acknowledged that many of them would go on to have successful careers and I don't think he was placing motherhood on women I think he was just acknowledging that it's okay to be excited to want a husband and excited to want children. But also I think that your take 100% points out that his phrasing was AWFUL! He could have used his platform to paint a way better picture. Also if you listen to the entire speech you'll notice that throughout all of it he talks about the important of vocation and following vocation

[@rachelkuhn7802]

Yea, I thought it was a bit of a shame to have a whole episode about it without even listening to the whole thing. And I usually love hearing Jen's take on everything too.

[@justsuz45]

I noticed that the bangs were shorter, but I think they look good!

[@kierstenloster2104]

I got the sense that Butker is proud of where he is because he is proud of his wife. And that in pointing out his accomplishments and saying that it’s because of his wife, he was showing pride of his wife’s profoundly positive effect on his own life. To go more in depth, in the secular world, he is successful, and in the secular world there is a lie that women who choose to be home are “just” housewives (I have had some peers I went to high school with tell me that I put woman back 20 years bc I chose to be a wife and mother over a career, I’m open to the idea that this sentiment was unique only to me and my situation but I do have doubts that that is the case), so, though he may have been a bit clumsy in the delivery, I think his main point is that his wife, who is a homemaker/housewife is one of the biggest if not the most important factor of his own success and he doesn’t want that overlooked. Totally agree with your point about having his speech be more about how his vocation of husband and father has in his own life, but I do think he had good intentions and I didn’t get “podcast bro” vibes as much. I think he was clumsy at the writing and delivery of the speech but it was sweet to see him being a bit choked up about his wife. I would have felt the HIGHEST compliment in the world if my husband got choked up about how I care for him and our kids. Just my two cents.

[@KatherineTillinghast]

Name names! But for real..... Thanks for addressing this like a reasonable Catholic.

[@jaime6400]

WOW at that person who wanted the SXM job

[@daviecrocketfromzim6766]

I love the speech rewrite - easily the best response to Harrison. Respectful, but firmly correcting the lies that too many Catholic men fall for.

[@fhdhjydv1547]

Have you looked into Penn & Kim Holderness' new book "ADHD is Awesome"? The audible version is great, too! Apparently there's a link between ADHD and sugar cravings (dopamine rush)! Learned so many things.

[@tonyalongi4409]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[@angelamurphy7160]

This episode was TERRIFIC! The Catholic ghetto (of which I am 100% a part) was so excited about this speech, but it really struck me as annoying. THANK YOU for articulating so clearly why Butker missed the mark in his attempt to affirm women who want to be wives or mothers.

[@BethAnnesBest]

Now everyone go watch Father Mike Schmitz commencement speech he gave at Ave Maria a much better catholic world view speech :)

[@nikkinathan6813]

Too bad the really good ones never go viral

[@BethAnnesBest]

@@nikkinathan6813 I know! I have seen a few other great commencement speeches on youtube of course no one cares about them.

[@themptherland1574]

I have many a story of these types of men.. went to Franciscan University.

[@susanad.o.156]

Audiences can also recognize a message from a gifted speaker and someone with a different communication style…

[@mry5892]

not so. the first time this boomer heard Beatles on an elevator, my life changed forever.

[@lazaroricardo4178]

Hello Jen! Actually you must known your enemy to loose weight. Adipocytes (cells that stock fat) will growth and multiply each time that you eat more than usual. If you eat less than usual they will only get smaller but they will not decrease in number. Thus, each time that you abandon you diet you will end getting even more fat cells than before and having the tendency to increase in weight and all the efforts made before were for nothing (because you end with even more fat cells). The only way to gain the battle is to make a very soft diet that you know that you can keep for years and never, ever, get a lot of sugar at once. Like than the fat cells (with given time) begin to die and you will feel much less incline to eat.

[@susanad.o.156]

You still kick a__!! “In the cards” is not a Catholic reference

[@mry5892]

just wait. you're in the mix now. when that youngest graduates university, or maybe that first grandbaby. joy and sorrow are companions.

[@AGracefulCatholic]

Yuuuuuup. Catholic speakers should just run their speeches by Trent Horn or something before sharing 😂

[@FionaCampbellHicksPhotography]

Great episode! The belittling of women has gone far enough. Let’s hear more about Deborah who had to lead Israel to war because Joshua was too scared!

[@susanad.o.156]

Also, 😅 what about religious vocations?????

[@kimberlyrasmussen3208]

I love you Jen but I wish you had listen to the whole speech

[@gos11]

Right?!? When she was asking some questions that were meant for Butker, I was like "he addressed them later in his speech. He talked to the guys too!"

[@susanad.o.156]

We?

[@susanad.o.156]

Have we considered he isn’t defining “success” by his career…?

[@maleaturner4523]

Your speech was definitely better lol! I found his speech so cringy and downright problematic in places.

[@susanad.o.156]

Because he was addressing the women. Women have been told the diabolical lie … that they should be like men I think this talk really hit a nerve for you

[@susanad.o.156]

News flash: people are multi-faceted and can switch from being out of their heads and then be in their head at another time 😮

[@susanad.o.156]

I think you look better with long side bangs

[@leaholsen6701]

I’ve been waiting for your take since I first heard his red flag nonsense!! And all my good Catholic friends defending it! 🫣Ugh!