About Tarof (Taarof), an Iranian tradition - Learn Persian (Farsi) with Chai and Conversation

[@hashemfatahi9937]

For all those Persians who are bashing this video in Farsi. It is not bad to teach others about our culture. I am fully supportive of this video and would like to thank the producers.

[@taseronify]

Tarof is like a bad engine that never starts with the first ignition. It wastes your time... and time is the most valuable thing for a nation. Those nations that waste too much time are the ones that are weak, poor and backwards...

[@a.534]

@@taseronify Every nation wastes time one way or the other It's just very visible and obvious in this example, I grant you that.

[@taseronify]

@@a.534 Nations who value time most are the ones that are sending rockets to Mars. The nations who waste time are still beheading each other just like the times in medieval age.

[@a.534]

@@taseronify Would Iran be an Islamic country today if the CIA and MI5 didn't launch a coup on our only reformist social democrat in the 50's because of muh oil? Nice try though.

[@liebedich6311]

@@taseronify hahahaa godamn bro

[@pepperwilliams4428]

The two guys walking into the door was EPIC!!!

[@jimmhysandhu7040]

I heard from a punjabi professor who visited Iran that Persian people are so Humble and extremely polite!

[@gurjotsingh8934]

Right

[@rohitjoshi7590]

here in India, we have a similar concept to taurof called as "pehle aap"...which essentially means the same as "first you please"

[@jimmhysandhu7040]

rohit joshi beshak bhai sahab !

[@anand3033]

“Pehle aap” - The story of two nawabs who missed the train!

[@1Leggo9my9Eggo2]

Tbf that concept exists in a lot of cultures, even western culture they offer women and sometimes men to go before them. There’s etiquette rules everywhere but in iran it’s very old school and sometimes over the top.

[@taseronify]

Let's consider that a gentleman letting a lady enter a room first. He never complains after she does enter because he honestly wants her to enter first. That is the key difference between kindness and tarof. Tarof is something different. It's just being dishonest to others. In the video they let him in but then they complained about him entering first. What they do is completely different than what they actually want. I think that is a serious `bug` in a culture that effects it's development. Every action takes x3 more time that normal because people have to act in a `play` called `tarof`.

[@WellBehavedForeigner]

Half of the world is wasting our time specifying whether we always do something or will be doing it one time. You're lucky to have good tenses in your language. And yes, there are MULTIPLE reasons why we're not the manufacturing capitols of the world, but each of them means we're incapable of being the manufacturing capitols of the world. this is what it looks like when they find out it's an opportunity to make fun of us -->kzbin.info/www/bejne/poDUc32Xe558hJY

[@timeb4ndit]

This video was insanely helpful when I was in Iran. I recommend it to all my friends going there. Kheili mam!

[@grendelypaco]

OMG - I love this. After learning about tarof on your early podcast I scoured the internet for more information, but couldn't find anything at the time. So glad you're helping the us learn more about Persian culture.

[@dawudabuadam]

Although I do not speak Farsi (yet), I learned a lot about the pleasantries & courtesies through being married to an Iranian woman and attending a predominantly Iranian Masjid. The manners and pleasantries absolutely amazed me. Now I live in a small town in upstate NY, where there are no Iranians, no fellow Muslims and I've noticed that I am the only person practicing Taruf in my community. Many times people look at me funny when I do so, but they seem to respect the good manners. Maybe it will begin rubbing off on them soon. LOL!

[@DW71000]

Although I'm not Muslim, Ghoorbonet.

[@ahuradadsetan2156]

Afarin

[@ryuuzakilover]

I'm surprised about the Muslim part as most Iranian people (at least the ones I know very well) are not Muslim. Muslim and Iranian are not the same thing as some people do NOT understand this. As for knowing Farsi and the culture good for you!❤

[@ssam7384]

Your name doesn't sound Muslim

[@USMFarsi]

Hello David , you can learn Farsi with me if you want , just check the channel 👌🏻

[@nanwuamitofo]

The second-take situational videos are so funny and well-done, I was laughing out loud! Thanks and greetings from Holland!

[@hamzehmousavi2135]

Taarof is a part of culture and should be taught. Taarof is not anything hypocritical but a method of showing respect. the third scenario is not settled very well, in fact when you do not want to drink tea, you should say 'na merci' ya 'na merci, kheili khordam', but if you like to drink it's enough to say 'merci'

[@TheZaniaNoell]

Oh no! My boss is Persian and offers me food all the time. I've been saying thank you because in my culture it's rude to say no.

[@DW71000]

You're good, he might have not even doing Tarof, next time you can Tarof with him/her. Usually after Tafor one has to win, either the No wins or Yes, I've mostly lost when I say No, I end up saying fine.

[@ThinkAbstract]

You do realise most of us Persians give no shits about Tarof, just relax and enjoy yourself.

[@beeswaxlike]

It's alright. It's rude to truly refuse in Iranian culture too. You're just supposed to accept it through the "fake refusal" of tarof before accepting it after a few turns. Third time is usually the charm. Plus your boss wouldnt expect tarof from someone outside the culture.

[@gunnify371]

So is it in Iran

[@puneetkaur13]

Sad part is when you refuse the food politely and everyone ends up having the food except you 😂😂 Iranian culture is interesting , I have heard a little bit about Rumi and other saints 😊 Persian seems to be a very beautiful language 😊 💕

[@Alieopal]

I love this video. I laughed so much because I have seen this situation so many times. Just walking through the door or being offered food at a friends.

[@kashpen]

I use to resent Tarof, but not I miss it...it's such a loving tradition! You feel appreciated...

[@1Leggo9my9Eggo2]

They missed a pretty big one in your etiquette whilst shopping. Taarof while paying for your goods is a well known one, the shopkeeper literally says ‘you don’t have to’ Once he’s quoted the price of the product and you start to get your money out 😂. As a person that has an Iranian cultural background but was born in the UK, I found this hilarious and asked my family members in Iran ‘what if I said oh thank you and walked out’ they said they would then ask you to pay without the politeness lol. It’s just being polite for the sake of it

[@justinagalindo7118]

I use to have quite a few persa friends. But I don't have any contacts anymore, but I have such a good memories about them. They were always very nice people!!

[@Browncathartic]

This is probably the best lesson of both Farsi and Iranian culture I have come across! Please continue to make these types of videos. I am a Filipino American & I have just started dating an Iranian girl. Her English is not so good & I have just begun to learn Farsi. Thank you for this video.

[@MandanaHedayat]

Amazing video! Helped my college student who is Iranian but doesn’t speak much in a comic college presentation

[@unkreativesmensch]

when youre tarofing your white friends with food and they actually say yes ._.

[@malik27med17]

''Tarofing''? xD

[@thewalrus723]

Oh, yes, that's a word in my English vocabulary. It's like vodkating. lol

[@iberius9937]

As if Persians weren't white, hehehe....

[@avim2578]

@@iberius9937 white largely refers to americans in the US

[@iberius9937]

@@avim2578 To ignorant people it does, yes.

[@TheMaterade]

This is a fantastic source of knowledge for someone trying to learn a little bit more about the Persian culture. Please make more videos!!! Thank you soo much!

[@Aspenavius]

This is absolutely hilarious and accurate. I usually see it when we go to someone's house and everyone scrambles to try and clean up the table and wash the dishes so that the host doesn't have to.

[@cmac183]

These have been very helpful, the little bird is adorable.

[@UnitedDreamliner]

I love it !!! Besides teaching Persian language you also get a glimpse into the culture.😃😃😃

[@ravanarbabi140]

One should know that Taarof, which means acquaintance, in addition to being often exaggerated, when explained to foreigners, also belongs almost exclusively to young children and families with children. But Iranians are not just children and families of children and this is quite often overlooked.

[@robertwayne3567]

HA, great video! I recently spent a month with my wife's Persian family. THIS IS SO TRUE. "The doorway"

[@khoshtipify]

hahhaha...guys i dont think i have ever commented on any utube video before!...but i just loved ur vid so much that i had to comment!!!...props to you guys!...it was amazing!...hella funny and educational at a same time...a rare gem!...keep up a good work!...Dametoon garm!!

[@tmtwer234]

Lot of greetings from Switzerland. I just started to learn farsi .

[@vivekrainaat]

@leyla shams I am from India and trying hard to pick up decent persian before i visit Iran next year for fun.....your videos are very helpful. I wish you make more such videos. Thanks

[@MrSeriousBob]

the videos are excellent, Layla. Thanks for producing, and I look forward to future clips.

[@BasedLink]

In the American south we do the exact same thing haha. Such a pleasure to see how cultures that are supposed to be foreign to one another are actually so similar.

[@mikehamidi4032]

The look on Mat's face at 5:40 - 5:43 (while hilarious) delivers the concept of Ta'arof very well! Usually you insist on doing something which you will regret later!

[@TheBelilu]

Persians Should Be So Proud Of Their Culture For So Many Reasons. This Is Just One Of Them. The Most Unique People & That, In All The Right Ways....So Lucky To Have Been Born In Your Country, As An Armenian, To Have Had The Exposure To Your Beautiful Culture..... Best Of All, That It Was During The Pahlavi Era, In The 70's. Thank You For Being The Best Host, For Giving Me The Best Childhood. Thank You For Reminding Armenians Of How They Used To Be......

[@deich31]

Charming and helpful. Thanks, guys!

[@Creighton-Jones]

Excellent video - most informative (and amusing !). Thanks for uploading.

[@sundharkumar5203]

This is hilarious and had a good info!! And knowledgeable thank you🤩🤩This resembles the culture of India 🤩🤩

[@LillyIrani]

The best part of this is how hilarious the Iranian friends are -- "een NBA finals neest!" "zahreh mar bendazeemesh!" lol

[@Thomas_Angelo]

Zahrehmar means snake's poison and it just means shut up. It's pronunciation is different to it's meaning.

[@William_sJazzLoft]

OMG i just about lost it 😂😂😂 . But i tell you what, as i followed along ( physically ) through the laughter i found myself acquiring and retaining. It's very likely that i will remember what I've acquired. 😊

[@LaVidaRubiaTheBlondesLife]

Wooow , what an awsome video . Thank you so much for making it so dinamic and funny and very useful at the same time . I subscribe and continue to learn Farsi . Kheili mamnoon !

[@independentcitizen3584]

LaVidaRubia TheBlondesLife hi my friend , where are you from ??! if you want i van help you to learn Persian .....

[@LaVidaRubiaTheBlondesLife]

Hy , i´m Romanian .Thank you so much , i know a little farsi ,but i´m not planning to learn just yet . Thank you so much for the offering ^_^

[@mayk89]

That was excellent! متشکرم از یونان

[@hosseinsadeghi2468]

درود و عشق فراوان از ایران به یونانِ زیبا

[@Cdawntuck]

Hi! This is the first video of yours I have seen and it is great; I subscribed and will be watching more. Could you do a re-cap at the end of the video going over the key phrases one more time? That would be extremely helpful!

[@nikhildhasaal]

Merci.....Ghorbone shoma beram. Dokhtare Leyla lotfan .....more videos like this

[@mochagawd]

That was a really cute video. Hilarious! and very informative. Its cool to finally see your faces! Ive only listened to a couple podcasts before this. Thanks for all your hard work guys!

[@ravanarbabi140]

One should know that Taarof, which means acquaintance, in addition to being often exaggerated, when explained to foreigners, also belongs almost exclusively to young children and families with children. But Iranians are not just children and families of children and this is quite often overlooked.

[@Katherannereese]

I'm 3rd generation (my grandfather immigrated) and I was taught these principles without knowing the background! I just thought it was common courtesy. 😂 Thank you for sharing. I am also really appreciating your Neem-Roonis series, since my mom was raised very split in America and we've both struggled to connect and reconcile.

[@justleyla]

Third generation!! So cool- I'm so curious about your experience! Like, do you feel 'Iranian'? Have you tried learning the language? I also have a new series called 'Raising Neem-Roonis' if you want to check it out on the podcast, you can find it at www.chaiandconversation.com

[@Katherannereese]

@@justleyla Oh wow. No one has ever asked me that before! I think I've had a different experience than some of my peers, but also grew up very assimilated at the same time. I think the racism against my mom as a child after 9/11 made me really uncomfortable accepting that part of myself/culture. She grew up in Kansas and used to pass off as Italian, so I learned by proxy it was safer to lie and lie-low (I look white, so why rock the boat... 😬). I've never been to Iran, and the American media has had a big influence on my fears about that, even as an adult. I grew up with simple Farsi words (bia inja, beshin) my mom knew Farsi as a child but lost it as an adult. My grandpa would speak at me, write me letters/birthday cards in Persian, but wasn't really a 'teacher'. We would send presents to my cousin's in Iran and talk on the phone, we celebrated Nowruz and listened to Persian music at home. My mom is a terrible cook, but she made an effort to take me to Persian restaurants so I would appreciate the food (though I just ended up eating trays of gaz... 😂). She hung the rugs we (somehow) got from Iran on the walls. I clung to a photobook of Persepolis my grandpa gave me, dreaming of the day I could see it... Now, I'm working on learning Farsi to hopefully visit in the next couple years when I've saved up. I'm not sure if I feel like I should call myself 'Iranian-American' or not. If blood or culture matters, if 'looking' the part matters, if it counts that my eyebrows grow in a straight line across my face. 😂 I have spent a lot of time debating whether I have the right to claim that, and whether it matters. Well, that was a lot. Sorry! Thank you for asking me that though. It's something I've not really talked about with anyone. Also, your podcast is awesome! Thank you for sharing the beauty of Iranian culture and Farsi!

[@chai_and_conversation]

@@Katherannereese Oh man, I just realized you mentioned Neem-Roonis in your original comment- I thought you might just have happened randomly on this video on youtube. So glad you're listening- it's brought up so many questions for me about identity, the important of language, culture, etc. And I think about that question too- about whether or not it 'matters', honestly, or if it's more important for us to be part of a global 'human race'. But overall, I'm feeling more that it does indeed matter. Your situation is an interesting one though, and I'd love to keep in touch and hear more about your journey, and whether you make it to Iran! There are a couple interesting accounts to follow- @mypersiancorner on instagram (and she has a blog), and this other instagram account @iranian_nomad. They make you feel like you're in Iran. Write me at [e-mail]- let''s keep in touch, and thanks so much for your thoughtful reply!

[@cataleyadiazdelbosque3685]

What a wonderful look at this culture!

[@bnsxinbloom]

I love this! I went to a Nowruz festival and they did a comedy sketch about Tarof and going back and forth over who was going to pay the check. It was hilarious :)

[@mehrzadegol]

Gorboone pedaro maadare shoma batchehaaye fahmideh. Keep up the good job. Enjoyed your thatrical skills*** Leila Khanoom, Khasteh nabaashin Azize Del.

[@kmfw72]

It's very similar to the concept of 面子 miàn zi or 'face' in Chinese, particularly the bit about paying for the bill.

[@parvinbavafagallery]

Afarin Leyla Jaaaan bar to va doostanat. Good job dear Leyla and your friends.

[@shaleemmalik7396]

loved your video. and had a hearty laugh at the end.... excellent video, makes me want to watch more.

[@memeike]

I love these videos! It is a wonderful way to learn. The doorway scene made me laugh out loud! Do you have a video in which you introduce your Persian friends by their names? Good looking bunch you all are! I am off to dinner at a Persian family's house for the first time tonight! I hope I perform taarof properly!

[@puneetkaur13]

2:43 Omg!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂 That was so much fun!!!!! Loved it!

[@arkaprovasaha4313]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@blah979]

I'm not learning the language but I still love the vids.

[@mimilajolie4978]

Very nice video waiting for more. Just try to repeat the important words by the end of the video it will help me memorising them thank you☺

[@cookiemonster9659]

Those doorway-people are hilarious."But I already rolled out the red carpet" " I will just lay down my shirt right now so you can walk over it" "Let's just go together"

[@neutrinos4935]

KHELI gorboonet beram! Kheli khoob bash DIGEH! AAAAHfereen!

[@hamedirani]

THANK YOU !!! It is really helpful when I want to teach it to my friends :))

[@ravanarbabi140]

One should know that Taarof, which means acquaintance, in addition to being often exaggerated, when explained to foreigners, also belongs almost exclusively to young children and families with children. But Iranians are not just children and families of children and this is quite often overlooked.

[@justleyla]

Wait, what?

[@nooriray]

Great show and lovely Cockatiel.

[@franzzweite5863]

In Italy Scenario 1-2: is exactly the same... Scenario 3: you caaaaaan't refuse anything!!!

[@verandi3882]

Mediterranean tendencies and cultures have so much in common , i love people of the Mediterranean , southern europeans, balkans , persians , levantines ...etc. peace bro.

[@Katherannereese]

My boyfriend is Italian-American and I'm Iranian-American and he had to tell me to stop refusing food from his family. Like, he got angry... 😂 I wasn't taught 'Tarof' by name, but that this was just how to be polite in someone else's home.

[@atiqrehman4394]

Excellent I love it seriously now I can learn persian with fun

[@c.brionkidder9232]

this was great. motchakeram. Matt is very cute.

[@DanialKhashabi]

Can we do more of these?

[@justleyla]

Ha, sure! About what?

[@Tsentru2]

Lots of understandable words, and im a romanian speaker.

[@movahedimotlagh]

Emanuel Moura Not really, the words you hear iranians say that are french is because they cant speak farsi/persian fluently or competently, because if you speak to educated or iranians living in iran,, they barely use words from foreign languages. It does however go the other way round as the english language does have a lot of loanwords from persian such as: paradise (pardise), brother (baradar), mother (madar) etc... since i dont know french or any other latin type languages, I would not know if they have any loaned persian words as well.

[@antocnl8345]

Amir motlagh Well "na merci" in persian = No, thank you and "non merci" in french = No, thank you. Atleast this formula obviously comes from french. You can even say "nah merci" in french, but its very non formal and sounds lazy or young speach. But if you say "na merci" in france, the person you're speaking to will understand.

[@nwfl775]

Amir motlagh Actually, farsi/persian uses literally thousands of arabic words. The word تعارف itself is actually arabic and the root letters relate to awareness and knowing.

[@FarsiWizardPlus]

Just saw this... and LOVED it! GREAT job, Leyla and others... I also loved "joo joo" a lot :-))

[@babanachiket]

That's exactly how Indian culture is too ! Full of respect. Quite similar I must say.

[@SyedTabishKafili]

Khalid Alakoozi Actually it is just not about the culture of Iran,Pakistan or India actually its about the culture of east.

[@noditschi]

I fail to see it as respect, since great deal of it is make belief and what is worse, everyone knows that it is fake.

[@morphinlounge101]

Farsi the most beautiful language of the Orient. Khoda Hafez

[@saramalekiatlaw]

This is so hysterical and totally true!

[@wrabyapta]

very similar to javanese culture in indonesia

[@BR-tb7jg]

I love this channel!!

[@sabineschenk5153]

thank you for this, I love it and I will learn

[@oliveiramarcotube]

I really appreciate this video! It's interesting to me see how in persian culture people really care with social codes and behaviour. Here in Brazil, believe me: it's a total mess! Thanks for sharing this video.

[@aminehr776]

Lol that was hilarious!! I'm Persian so that's why and I always see this happen at parties I go to. My mom is always "taroffing" :)

[@iliaghr8099]

Of course it's very much exaggerated here,it's true that Taarof is very common & actually a part of conversations in Iranian customs but it usually only takes much less time in most occasions For example for passing through a door it would only take about 4 seconds tops or for accepting fruits and such at a party ,about 2 seconds somethings would take longer though,like paying for the cheque

[@maryanapasalarkyadzhui5171]

Is there a transcriptions to all the bickerings? I would love to learn that haha :D

[@malakhan7213]

Basically Pakistani culture is very similar to this, we also respect our elders like this and never let our guests to pay for their food when we take them out to a restaurant. In our culture it is very shameful for the guest paying for their own food unlike English and Western culture. I personally think it's not about Persian, Pakistani, Afghan, Arabic or Indian culture. It's a culture of the whole East.

[@malakhan7213]

arraignee90 In Europe noone really cares but if u go Pakistan u will find such thing very often.

[@vivekrainaat]

Its same here in India.

[@ovrdozzzz]

I’m really sorry but There is nothing called Pakistani culture

[@asiakusy]

isn t it called takalluf?

[@hoomanity]

I like the final version. Pretty, pretty, pretty good.

[@Knowledgeseeker77]

It's not only in Iran culture. But in Pakistani , Afghanistan and Most Muslim countries we do not let other pay the bill. We prefer or everyone else on the table wants to pay the bill. Meaning Muslims are very generous people

[@justleyla]

See the link under the video! It's called Chai and Conversation

[@smb2962]

Fantastically explained

[@shahin70075]

that was a good one. I always have a difficulty to explain taarof:D. That was really helpful;)

[@JJ-gy6pv]

Whahaha laughed my ass of at the first example of taarof :D !!!

[@liliian9950]

Thanks Leila jan and everyone else. Well done

[@dustinkeller29]

What a great video, Merci.

[@mehranshargh]

Thanks for displaying you civility publicly!

[@robertwinters7144]

It's a great language. Could you give me a Farsi word that is equivalent to "Oy", an exclamation of dismay?

[@ehak18]

Love this video! Dahset dard nakoneh!

[@shoorideh1]

I love it...you can learn very good from it!!! Please more! Merci!

[@edinmassana4532]

Okay. Huge off topic but I live in Spain and, to an extent I can relate completely. Of course it's not always and some situations it can reach a certain level of aggressiveness, but the bill situation is a commonplace. With the offer of food it's a bit more complex and I wouldn't discard some arabic influence there since there's a mixture of trying to spoil and rather fatten your guest but also, on the guests side there's only so many times one can refuse food without looking straightforward rude and ingrate. Anyway, fascinating language essays, as these are more like that than simple language lessons.

[@legolas7r]

I LOVE UR LESSONS , PLEASE UPLOAD MORE OF THEM :-D

[@catherinvaiphei]

This video is informative and hilarious even though some may disagree..

[@oneupkoopa4980]

This was very interesting.

[@candyflos]

While things like that may really look ridiculous from an outsider's viewpoint, it's actually the ABC of the politeness norms of the culture, which you need to know if you don't want to put your foot in it, so thanks a lot for the graphic illustration of the "taarof". :)

[@theskyisoverrated]

Beautifully done and pretty funny! Thanks.

[@celje12]

In Slovenia we do something similar to tarof as shown in 2nd and 3rd case in the video. I never liked it as it is obviously insincere but still it seems it's ancient tradition.

[@Thermalburn]

I'm trying to learn farsi. My parents grew up in Iran so they know the language, but since i was born in the US i've never needed to learn it (we are not ethnically Persian). One advantage is that i'm familiar with certain words/phrases and also the persian customs. anyway great video

[@venusa4606]

This is awesome 👏 i love it 😍

[@gjab19]

Some of the taarof are costumes in Mexico... except for the restaurant, the person who invites someone to a restaurant is the one that pays

[@annahabermann1589]

awesome! Good job! love it.

[@sohraba8777]

I personally gave up on fighting over the check. If they are insisting too much and trying to make a scene, I just gave up immediately and say "mersi". At times, I simply give my card to the waiter way in advance without anyone knowing and I only have to sign the receipt at the end.

[@laurenruth915]

I'm not even Persian and this is how I act anyway. How funny.

[@hadirafie1895]

+Kaitlyn Harvey hi this is hadi i am from iran .i want learn english if is posible i teach u farsi and u teach me english.it will be my pleasure if have contact with you.thank you .

[@HarperNguyen]

+Hadi Rafie Hi, Hadi! I'm about to start learning Farsi, and I would love some tips! I would be glad to give you some tips for learning English in return :)

[@hashemfatahi9937]

Hi I am Hashem and a native Persian speaker. I would like to perfect my English. if you want to learn Farsi, send me your Skype and we can exchange our languages.

[@Rahel_Rashid]

Can someone help me with the pronunciation of vav (و)? It is really confusing to me. I don't know when it is prounounced as /w/ or when pronounced as /v/. Thanks!

[@Rahel_Rashid]

***** Thank you for your reply. So it has three pronounciations? /a/ , /u:/ , /v/ right? Persian is really strange sometimes!

[@Rahel_Rashid]

***** Love you! Thanks a lot.

[@CoryWillowTree]

I ❤️ Cockattiels :-) JooJoo is adorable!