Abusive Parents.... how do we deal with this?

[@fairygurl9269]

Victim Shaming 😒 Much Love from a Place of Authentic Respect.

[@REMAIN_SOLID]

my mom in a nutshell

[@tofuu666]

I’m the one making the victims and the one shaming them for being a victim

[@patriciaromo962]

My mom victim shames me and me only and she has 2 other kid that do the same thing but im only victim siamés

[@Nyc99]

Wow is not even blaming its shaming , I felt it was more to it, that reaction is demonic

[@r1nr1n06]

My mom always plays the victim lately she's not even ok in the head

[@ronnierodzen]

It’s always the “your just now telling me” that makes me want to unalive myself

[@vacant3793]

Same

[@notherepim]

Bro fr

[@fist2tym]

Facts

[@sugarandspice2136]

SAME

[@ranga274]

same

[@kyk.0]

"BECAUSE I WAS SCARED U WERE GONNA ACT LIKE THIS."

[@Nyc99]

You was sacred of persons reaction because your whole being knew they shouldn't be trusted

[@Allison-l9z]

I told my mom and im still forced to see the guy who did it regularly

[@mikulina7985]

This is exactly why I didn’t tell my mother what happened to me until I was 19

[@r1nr1n06]

ONG it's always that line

[@ell.100]

Imagine your child saying this to you and not comforting them or even wanting to. I just can't.

[@scarlett2521]

Yeah when I told my mother I never expected to get yelled at and my feelings invalidated. “The only person it’s bothering is you” damn okay…

[@sugarandspice2136]

Same

[@hailey857]

@@scarlett2521im so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I don’t know how to say this but i want to say sth caring because my mom never did either, and I just want you to know you are loved and deserve someone who cares and speaks for you and defends you when you got done wrong. Love ❤

[@T-or7ui]

Ikr me too. It's messes up n wrong 100%

[@dogdog7883]

“Why are you just now telling me” I’ve heard this too many times

[@S-L-E-E-P-Y-J-E-J-JBIGGESTFAN]

The only people I can trust is people who I don’t know who keep this a secret I got sexually touched when I was young to😢😢 and my parents would act mean if I told them this now😊

[@Riri87492]

When I was little my brother's friend touched me badly. As a child I didnt knew what to do and I told my parent 2 days later, they were so mad. If a man's drunk and he does something wrong it's not his fault If a women is drunk she's responsible for what happens to her.

[@ignite3819]

Same here... It hurts even more because... It is not ur fault... You were scared, u were locked up in that confusion hurt state and didn't know what was happening.... It is not ur fault u froze... Not ur fault that u didn't tell and it is not that u didn't want to... U just didn't know how to and u got scared and it is fine to feel that way... Everything works at ur own pace... Do whatever and whenever ur heart feels comfortable

[@llspeziale8844]

This is how we end up in our shame whole and have trust issues.

[@missb546]

My mom said the same thing she even called me lair and blame me for everything enough from the day I just realised the world better

[@Xaithetherian]

My parents took my crutches and said I don't need them

[@Blueberryff-zz1rc]

Why?!?!?

[@CRAZYCATLADY_11-12]

What the fuck

[@Blueberryff-zz1rc]

@Axl__untitled oh am sorry , don't worry i am fat to

[@michaelbrown8181]

​@Axl__untitled hey, man. My name is Mike, and I'm here for you, buddy. Would you like to talk about what's been going on? I'm all ears.

[@IcantEatCheeseAnymore]

I see you everywhere​@Axl__untitled

[@skrrtskrrt760]

Victim shaming is so common. It's disheartening. This same thing happened with me, my bio mom, and my stepdad being the perpetrator. All my bio mom was upset about was I was making a big deal out of something that only happened once (it happened over an 8 year time period), that it was his (my stepdad) way of telling me that I was cute. And she even later got angry at me, demanding her husband back, that I stole him from me, that I was being a little $lut, that I shouldn't have been wearing shorts around the house. I feel absolutely nothing for her. Not hatred, not love. And they say the opposite of love is indifference. That rings true for me.

[@thediscustedkitty6348]

OMG! This is so accurate. Someone does something to you. Instead of support you get yelled at.

[@AriaNovaX]

That's why I didn't tell them, the abuse, trauma I had..

[@trinbabb9606]

They get mad at us because we were scared to talk about it! STOP YELLING AT US! If we’re scared to be hurt because we tell someone, that’s fine we can wait until were ready

[@ghostsheet777]

its so hhard to deal with, but we can be better than them n give love to others unlke we got.

[@nyxxaura6219]

Same thing happened to me. ..same reaction

[@marcusvigo2065]

I'm sorry that happened to you.

[@IreneNeo29]

They told me shame on me….Then made a cross with their fingers and made me kiss their hands.

[@CursedWheelieBin]

@@IreneNeo29 Count on religion to make their decisions for them. It’s so sad that we care what our parents think, even after it’s abundantly clear that they’re clueless

[@raygunplays6703]

That is just like my parents..I always thought it was normal because thats how they would always react..They dont care my age,How i feel, Or what u say. If i say the ugly truth they would say "WHY DID YOU NOT TELL EARLIER" and thretean that they would kill me in all possible ways. then they force me to shut up and be quiet and not to cry. Then if i cry they will call me "idiot" or "crybaby" and then they would do death-stares..

[@isloth75]

TY for demonstrating this! Lot of folks really need to see this cause way too many caretakers really respond this badly to reports. Its the aweful truth.

[@cherriehearn6950]

I told on my dad! I was 12 when he started and when I told. She didn't stop him. So I told a teacher! My family blamed me when he lost his job.

[@Rissology]

You did the right thing, never forget it!

[@aganib4506]

Your family are full of shit that they didn't side with you. I hope you're healing now.

[@lindsaywallace5926]

I am sorry you had to go through this.

[@chloebelle2591]

I feel your pain! I was in a similar situation myself except I never came forward. I knew how my mother would blame me and I was already in so much pain. I could not take anymore

[@JC-bq3vd]

This is why I didn't tell my parents but when they found out they said the same.

[@Nyc99]

They still in 1980ies like mine

[@giovannaccoral]

I am so sorry this happened to you and wish you healing and love.. the way the mother replied in this video is an example of victim blaming and it wasn't and could have literally never been your fault

[@reneerose620]

Oh My GOD!!! Exactly what my mom said when I told her what had happened to me. "Why are you telling me this now?" Just wow! Thank you for sharing.

[@arteuhart6340]

Literally my mom when she found out that my father sexually abuses me. Until now, I still live with my father. He does not sexually abuses me now but switched to emotional abuse.

[@Ray29]

How are you now?😢 I am sorry for you let God bless you and save you from that situation

[@oddfry6451]

I had a ‘conversation’ like this with my mom a day or two after telling my parents about my brother. She made me feel guilty for never telling her, she made it sound like I could have just easily made it stop

[@LoveTheGamesYouPlay]

I hope your doing okay

[@oddfry6451]

@@LoveTheGamesYouPlay thank you, I am☺️

[@LoveTheGamesYouPlay]

@@oddfry6451 glad you are hun 🫶🏽

[@kiddain349]

You could have easily made it stop but it isn’t your fault for not telling her. It’s her fault for not realizing anything was going on/not taking action AS THE PARENT.

[@oddfry6451]

@@kiddain349 honestly I couldn’t have. My brother knew he had a power over me by how scared I was of him. I didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t even know anything about sex, let alone abuse. It wasn’t until after it ended that I found out what to call what he was showing me. The only time I was ever able to say no was at 15 and he tried it again at 21. I knew more by then and was able to stop it before it started. Before that, I was always too young to understand what was going on, I just knew my big brother was telling me to do something and that I should do it.

[@Angela-gn8kv]

I had a really messed up childhood and something still haunt me, but whenever I wanted to talk to my mom about it she would get made at me. " we have been over this before 😤😤😤"

[@CursedWheelieBin]

Why would any parent not want to create an atmosphere where their child could trust them and approach them? Being a parent would terrify me because I think all the horrible mental/verbal abuse I endured would come to the surface. We learn these behaviours even without realising it. It’s not like we can be 100% mindful and tactful 24/7. We get impatient, we snap, we get tired, we get stressed. The only way you get good at parenting is if you LEARN by being surrounded, truly surrounded by smart, rational, reasonable, nurturing, loving, supportive people. Otherwise you’re gonna fumble your way through it, being reactive and impulsive, and blaming the kid whenever they don’t meet your expectations because that’s easier than admitting that you’re a failure. Both my brother and I haven’t had kids and we’re now in our late 30s. It takes more than an “I’ll show them” attitude to be a good father. There’s nobody I could learn from and I’m not screwing up some innocent child’s life

[@MASKREVEIW]

So sorry for this situation, no one deserves to be assaulted then blamed🙏🏼❤

[@skittlepuff]

Wow. I never heard any other woman talk about being abused by a sister. I was sexually abused by my half sister as well. This was eye opening. I felt seen. You’re not alone.

[@SKSBarbie]

I'd be called a liar and getting yelled at at the same time.

[@russiancat_9883]

the same thing happened to me but luckily my mom helped me get through it. I'm sorry to everyone that had to face this problem by themselves, but I know... it will get better soon.... everythings ok.

[@simmiedavissimmiesings8185]

Yep this was real. Its why people don't speak up

[@Nyc99]

Even law be like tell us all. Than accuse innocent of aggression . I'm baby again

[@CoolestManEver6309]

"Yeesh so much for telling you"

[@Kinley_3259]

About a year ago, I was molested by one of my cousins. I was scared to tell my parents, but once I did, my dad thought it was way worse than what it actually happened yelling at me saying that I should’ve told them sooner but the comment that really hurt was him saying that’s it😢

[@sage12189]

Even tho if your mom yells we stil love her We end up hating ourself.

[@cosmicreef5858]

yeah no No one with a brain loves an abuser Know the difference between being BRAINWASHED and REAL love You can NOT harm yourself either It is a manifestation of THEIR hate Do not EVER let them MAKE YOU believe that you EVER loved them!

[@Hyunji_22]

This is why i never told them about someone sexually touching me.

[@lauren-bd2no]

This hit me more than ever ! I brought up this same issue to my parents and they acted the same way!! And me being like in my head , why are you mad at me , I didn’t do anything wrong!!😔🥺

[@Unknownuser-mw8td]

Wow I never knew this was considered abuse because my mom is JUST the same!!😮

[@cexilady3333]

If I was ever in this situation with my child, I’d ask why they didn’t feel comfortable sharing this with me sooner. Then I would apologise for whatever that behaviour was and work on fixing that if it was my fault, cut that other child off if they refuse help or to admit it, and help get my traumatised child the help they need to recover. Never blame the victim. You don’t know what they’re going through, unless you’ve been there.

[@brighteyes6585]

Then you are very compassionate 🙂

[@cexilady3333]

@@brighteyes6585 🥺🥺🥺

[@cosmicreef5858]

No you DO NOT start with this question(or even bring it up) It AUTOMATICALLY show that you do not put THEM FIRST in this situation

[@thecrapartistx]

When I told my mother what my father was doing she screamed "I knew it!!! I knew it!!" and then she smiled really wide and got on the phone.

[@Ms.Divine2024]

Yeah I have experienced that before.

[@catnoirswife4668]

My story: I was Sexually assaulted for 2-3 years and I told my mom after like 9 months because I wasn’t ready to tell her about my sexual assault (btw I was assaulted by 3 men) And when I told her she said “I got assaulted bc I WANTED IT” And she didn’t even support me on the fact that I was Assaulted by 3 MEN!! She even said to “die” And I’ve been thinking about it non stop ever since, even till now I still think about suicide I think about suicide 24/7 bc of her.. 💔 Before my case she would constantly blame me for being Sexually assaulted and then hit me.. She makes me feel that I’m not your daughter I mean like she never made me feel like her daughter anyway.. so what’s the point of me living my life..even though she tells me to “die” I still live my life for her and my dad.. it hurts to leave a light on for nobody in the darkness.. Plus she even had the AUDACITY to tell others about my sexual assault even thought the police told her not to, plus I have been depressed so two years (probably more than that) And I have been having a hard time at school focusing about what she said and having hard time in class bc I’m always thinking about her words and my assault.. 💔😭🔪😔

[@EliseSaraghi]

Hey, are you okay? You are a beautiful soul and things will get better!!! Once all these trials and tribulations are over you will be happy and free, with a good job, a good home, and good life. Dont let yourself think this is the end because its not, we move on to better people who treat us better ❤ you are a good person who deserves a good life, try to block out the hateful voices as much as possible and try to act in a way that gets you to the place you want to be ❤ it will take time, but you will get there ❤

[@Dorian_loverhehe]

This is how my mom is.. Whenever l tell her something she gets angry even tho its not to late to tell them

[@One_the_goofster9920]

My mom has done so much like this to me when I was 12. And she still does to this day.

[@Amy-qo6xf]

Don’t expect any form of empathy or understanding. You will be held responsible and ridiculed or denied any abuse.

[@chinmayikelkar2869]

This is the first time i am writing this with lot of courage. My dad sexually abused me as a kid when i told my mom and begged her to help she told people i am crazy and i need help. She never beleived me she still does not. I left home. She still forces me to talk to my step father every day. I dont know how to forgive her. It hurts but i dont know what to do its been so many years but it feels like it happened yesterday.

[@skyb0und86]

Mine literally told me it happens to everyone and to stop playing victim 😂

[@Sethml-p7x]

Exactly what’s happening to me one day I would love to share my story

[@LGM429]

I hate this I didn’t know that this was narcissistic behavior my mom does this exact thing to me all the time

[@ladyjedi3D]

Yes! My mom excusing my older brother the golden child, who had taken his own life at 16. How he sexually abused me. She said “well, that’s normal, it happens in all families, and why didn’t you tell me?!” I said. “Because he said he would kill me and would hurt my little brother if I said anything”. She said nothing.

[@jadeFashion]

This was exactly the reaction I got in 2018 n now they are wondering why I don't open up to them

[@geniegalido8680]

I told my mom the she said its my fault because "i wanted it". She victim shaming me almost in everything that that happens to me. It feels living is my fault as well

[@TheMiracleMM2]

My guardians are mentally emotionally narcissistic 🫤

[@jacqueslohier2710]

Yea my mom did this my entire life. Sister used to hit me and call me racial slurs. From the n-word to chi*k. We are Haitian… we don’t spend time together.

[@jobaggett3748]

Don't forget when they tell you "you probably liked it too"

[@CharlieRoseHunter]

And here I was searching for videos because I didn’t think I was verbally abused enough to need to go no contact. This one hit home so hard

[@sunkissedarkandainty01]

My egg donor (mother) when I TRIED to tell her about the 2nd person, she said, You're ALMOST AS OLD AS I AM, NOW YOU WANT TO TELL ME?! and she went on to continue talking to the person she was conversing with. Later, she bragged on how this VERY person looked up to her as being an awesome person. This here...

[@mariadoloresromkes]

Unfortunately very relatable 😢

[@Its_MacAndCheese]

“yOuRe JuST nOw TeLLiNg mE?” Like, did you not hear them say they were scared to tell you?!

[@wackywally69420]

im so confused in life right now, i think i grew up in a narcissistic family and all of my friends have all been from similar families and i have no idea whats real anymore. i have no idea how to be a person.

[@alectricalexia]

My whole family is narcissists 😕I absolutely dislike them and I will never claim any of these toxic people as family

[@RosieAndMazeTheCatsOff]

I’m 11 and my parents use word abuse. They are always yelling at me. My father is nicer then my mother, my mother vapes and my father drinks. I have been taught not to cry cause it shows weakness. So most days I sit in the shower trying my hardest to cry and nothing seems to come out of my eyes.

[@WereGreen]

I'm so upset watching this I'm so sorry if this happened :(

[@pringle96]

Ouch… I thought I don’t trigger easy but that really opened up scars. I needed to remember that. Thank you.

[@Adddri19Jj]

It feels so relatable i've just told my mom that i've been self harming again and she blamed me and said i will go to hell and I should be more mature cuz I'm turning 18 soon she asked why did i do it and i don't have anything missing in my life and I'm just ungrateful to anything or anybody and all i wanted was a hug and someone to comfort me now i know that suicide is rhe right thing to do fml i don't deserve to be alive

[@frances6091]

Please, I hope you’re still alive. I’m SO sorry. You DON’T DESERVE THIS. You deserve to be happy and you deserve that hug and you will get it. I know it’s hard when you’re surrounded by bad people, but there are so many good people and they will love you and you will love them. Your life is worth so much and there is so much beauty and meaning in this world. Please don’t throw it away. I love you and I hope you are well. Take care of yourself, it’s all worth it

[@sabinayasmin7097]

I am not the right person to say this and from what I've seen irl it doesn't get better but i do pray and hope wholeheartedly for u to get out of that situation. may some miracle happen and pave the path for ur escape from this horrible situation 😔❤I'm really sorry hun that u have to suffer through this. just remember there's someone out there praying every night for u to be fine and happy and alive most importantly. hang in there champ u got this 💕

[@sabinayasmin7097]

​@@frances6091 you're such a nice person man. it's really refreshing to see people supporting others online. u don't even know them but thank u so much for being such a kind soul. love ya man ❤🙏🏻🥺

[@LoveTheGamesYouPlay]

Hey look into law of assumption please things can get better.

[@krissblisssoul]

Please don't 🙏 YOU DESERVE TO BE ALIVE! Please get helped because YOU ARE WORTH IT! I really really hope you are okay.

[@r1nr1n06]

My parents are very unsensitive they don't even care about what i love, need, my passions and problems so instead of supporting me, i get yelled at, ALWAYS. I'm almost 18 in a few days but they always need to make me suffer days before each one of my birthdays, yes cuz i literally just got abused, my dad threw hands on my arms and just kept squeezing while yelling, giving me bruises. Now i'm locked in my room, my safe place, last thing i want is for my keys to disappear since they don't even respect my privacy.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

It’s disgusting. My mom did the same thing to me. Victim blame me & shame me for other people abusing me

[@ElvisPresIey]

My mom did this, when I told her and my husband told her that my older sister molested me from the age of 9. I was afraid to tell anyone because she'd always tell people I lied a lot and didn't know why I was just telling her this now. She was in denial of believing her first born beautiful daughter that never did wrong. I suffered years of trauma since this.

[@SHAGUN_SINGH_.]

The last time i told my parents about this it really took me hours to speak this but then i understood it was all my fault to share with them i mean we guys expect some comfort after such situation from them but they make us guilty and more sneaky

[@juanmendoza1383]

She didn't have the courage because she knew yould throw a fit and possibly not beleive her

[@mondo_parallelo69]

I can relate 😔

[@Kaitlynjiang]

This triggered me so much

[@aaeriaesthetics3695]

Yup.. Same thing. No matter how many times you give them hints they dont get it until you finally say it and then somehow its, "why the fuck didn't you tell me?!* or "that doesn't sound right." Or " so and so wouldn't do that. I feel like its something else. Did someone from school do something?"

[@Princey1111]

So accurate 💯💯💯💯🙏🏿💯

[@someoneelse8295]

i dont wanna do this anymore i thought my parents loved me i dont want this. but theyd always give me so much money

[@ashavocado2986]

Projecting indeed

[@curvelinedot]

This was literally my mums reaction when I told her about my teacher

[@Kingofbeastsedits]

That’s the same thing that happens with my mom that’s why I’m now so afraid to tell my mom things like this even good things

[@fr33d0m_t0w3r]

Why is this relatable

[@imanijohnson1340]

Even if you don’t wait it doesn’t mean she would do anything. A few days after my sister was abused by an acquaintance of my parents who stayed over, he shoved it down like it never happened. “Her mom is a liar so she’s a liar” “did it really happen? Are you sure?” “Impossible! Not in my own house!” Denial isn’t “time based” and that’s probably the reaction you would’ve gotten at the time. It’s messed up and selfish. You deserved sympathy, her to hug you “omg im so sorry” and guilt because she should have seen a sign. The burden should never be on a victim but on the people around them, especially children.

[@-RainBreeze-]

I want a parent figure that gives me a reason to be here. I have nothing to lose.

[@cosmicreef5858]

Parents are NOT the reason you are here. They are a VESSEL You are here FOR YOURSELF You are PRECIOUS and IRREPLACABLE

[@berrymint6384]

YOURSELF Dude the WHOLE POINT to be here IS YOURSELF! You are here for a REASON! You are here to POLEASE YOURSELF, not others

[@goldfisheater2481]

I am sorry your mother said that to you I wish I was there to give you a hug...

[@ricki310]

Exactly what happens

[@nirvanacrown6516]

That's a signal that mom was in the same boat when she was younger..

[@Icecreammuncher]

I’m trying not to cry cuz this happened to me for the last 3 yrs 😭

[@mushroolex5534]

My dad did this to me when I told him I used to do self harm and it made me feel like something was wrong with me

[@bubblethedog1493]

I shared something similar with my dad he said m not gonna fight with everyone for you

[@marcusvigo2065]

I'm sorry you went through with that and I hope things get better for you.

[@Madi_Hearts_Ducks]

They do this to me about everything, no matter if I just say hi

[@Deadlyroses-vc5pk]

This is exactly my mom

[@zabawkidobrawki7270]

All kids deserve to have parents but not all parents deserve to have kids

[@REMAIN_SOLID]

similar thing happened me. It was my cousin. and my mom was so mad she just beat me even though I was the victim. I was 6-7. she was like 13. and I got beat for being blackmailed at 6 years old. hmm.

[@FUBARGunpla]

that was my old man, literally cried that i never came to him with my problems just my mom, the one day i did when my best friend at 19 and his younger brother at 12 took their own lives, he scoffed and mocked them. then he got angry that i was hurt by their deaths. a couple years later a coworkers does the same and he acts like it was a tragedy of the heighest degree.

[@crybaby_littlebow]

ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO ME I NEVER WANT TO TELL ANYONE BC THEY WILL FREAK OUT AND THEN I TELL THEM THE REASON I DIDNT TELL THEM WHICH MAKES THEM FREAK OUT EVEN MORE (sorry im rly bad at explaining)

[@JocelynOtero-kh7jt]

exactly how my mom acted

[@michael___afton]

This is what happens to me every time i tell something bad after a lot of time..

[@Teddyy-e4m]

The same happened to me and it was a 40 year old man and I was only 4

[@WildHorizon]

My mom did the same to me… except she didn’t believe me at all.. She still doesn’t even know the half of it because she cut me off badgering me about why I didn’t say anything before.. because it stopped when I was 12 and even then… I still just… I didn’t get it.. I thought it was normal..… then she just… kicked me out… I don’t understand why they do this.. the victim blaming.. I don’t understand why we apparently hold responsibility for something we didn’t do but was done to us. My best advice is to just go NC… it’s been a year for me and it’s still hard… but it’s what’s best for you.

[@Official_AliceLiddell]

My mother in a nutshell

[@JlNXED]

I’m scared ever tell my parents what happened when I was a kid because even at that age I knew they were protected and they’ve always been abusive and toxic anyways

[@Youareloved_forever]

Exactly what my dad does

[@cherri_cloudz9058]

Sexual assault isn’t an easy topic to talk about, it may be difficult to bring it up to even the ones closest to you, especially when you’re that young. Never shame anyone, it makes the problem worse. I should know.. I was only ten. 😔

[@ssaffahmeaffahmehmood4209]

This is true, I had to wait 8 years to tell my mother and even then I wasn't sure weather or not I should tell her and when I did she just ignored me.

[@grimslaughter1311]

the band Korn will call out her mom for this….on behalf of my friend who was a victim of r**e I’d come to the address to call them out my DAMN self