Self-Compassion with Dr Kristin Neff

[@yfoog]

I wish this had a billion views. This is unbelievably important.

[@meltedxcrayons]

the idea that the self-critical voice has the purpose of keeping us safe is so revolutionary to me

[@jay-ws5jj]

it's amazing how much compassion we can show to a suufering friend that we can't show to our own self.

[@CastleHassall]

that is so true! .. i hope life will be really good for you and for anyone who ever reads this!

[@mad45678]

THANK GOD your research is showing that we can be incredibly compassionate towards others and not much at all to ourselves. I have known this to be true for me through all my years as a very compassionate nurse and single parent of two children. I've always wondered why it is that I can give what i don't have for myself. If your research showed instead that the addage of "you can't give what you don't have" to be true, I would know the research was flawed. I knew what I was able to offer has been genuine and I've been grateful for it for years. I did suffer an emptiness though, despite years of therapy. I've eaten compulsively to fill that void. Now, your body of work offers much hope for my own development and mental health! Thank you so much Kristin.

[@guinevere4365]

After a series of difficult life circumstances at age 72-74, I’ve been blaming myself, depressed, sobbing and actually finally found myself screaming at myself “I hate you” while crying-which felt like a desperate attempt to “exorcise” and expel that within me who is “at fault.” These actions didn’t particularly help change anything other than to physically release pent up stress. Thank you for these insights and tools to help me have different perspectives and appreciate my whole self more than just focusing on my self-blaming/fault-finding and self pity.

[@basketballfan5763]

Wow so sorry to hear u treating yourself like this.. hope things changed for you when u realized last year that u were talking to yourself this way....with much love 💖💝🕊🕊🙏🏿

[@letsgofishingene]

I wish you well.

[@Little_timmygamming]

May all be well for you and may you have found light after the dark.💛

[@shamanic_nostalgia]

I hope you are doing better now. You deserve kindness and respect.

[@CastleHassall]

be kind to yourself is key.. i understand how you feel about all that.. there's a channel called "Potential Techniques" that i do to talk about things i find help to get through tough times..i hope it can be helpful to people as it's just me talking about things i found help me to get through crisis and depression and heal.. I'm not perfect or "fixed" but when i find things that are useful to get through the tough moments i talk about what helps and what is good to avoid.. i hope it can be useful to people as I'm doing it in case it can help someone get through a really tough time (i don't mean any disrespect to the channel i am writing this on, i just want to try to help the person who wrote the original comment or anyone who is feeling life is tough right now so i hope you don't mind me saying about this) but be kind to yourself, and talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend you really care about when you feel upset or down.. and try to think of and find even small nice or good things you would like to build up and try to do even small steps to build up nice things in your moments (and the more we do even small nice or good things that we would like to build up that helps build up how we feel through time and helps us get through the tough days when we feel things are tough) i really hope things feel much better for you (and for anyone who ever reads this who is feeling things are tough) really soon Best wishes from Rolland in Scotland

[@joywilliams4014]

They need to teach this in schools

[@yfoog]

100%

[@22februari1999]

The most life-changing hour and a half i have ever experienced. Thank you so much, as an overly self-critical unhealthy perfectionist, this is exactly what i've needed all these years.

[@Sh0n0]

Your welcome kid

[@Audra94braun]

At around 30:00 the topic of PTSD and self compassion floored me. Incredible and tragic at the same time. Let us all find self compassion

[@integralstanley]

Yes. Beautiful talk. Beautiful practice -1. Acknowledge - I am suffering now. 2.Acknowledge - Suffering is a normal part of human life. 3. Intend - May I extend warmth and kindness to myself. 🙏

[@haja0815]

This is finally the answer to a question I have been asking myself for the last 15 years. Thank you so much for this amazing talk!

[@toothlessjo]

Question is? 😊

[@shawnhambler]

Ya what’s the question you’ve been asking yourself

[@sundayosunnuga7224]

I just left you

[@loooveismusic8]

Thank you for this great work, research and sharing of this knowledge. 💕🙏

[@permissiontoshine]

Truly wonderful to watch and truly hear what you are saying about self-compassion Kristin. Thankyou so much for generously sharing your understanding of such a vital part of going from 'surviving' to 'thriving' for me. I like how you speak as well. The tone and modulation of your voice. I sense self-compassion in your voice. Lovely.

[@salmanisrar3772]

She has this brilliant test - my overall score was 3.6,grateful to have this. ❤ She also have good excercises to start developing self compassion after you do test. If you have low score. Sending love and compassion your way. You are beautiful,and you are doing good no matter where you are in life,and I hope you grow more and more into self actualization and more self compassion. ❤

[@TheJane2208]

I love this speech and as an English teacher want to share it with my English students. I’d greatly appreciate if you could add automatic English subtitles to it 🙏🙏🙏 That would help different level students understand it easier.

[@richardrickford3028]

Best advice on relating to inner critics I have heard

[@miamasters9999]

My therapist recommended a site for meditation. I could tell instantly that it was HER voice

[@taratbird]

Mia Masters what site if you still have it? 😊

[@targetaudience0x]

@@taratbird might have been Palouse Mindfulness, most meditations are led by Dave Potter (who has a very soothing voice) but there is one on there by Kristen Neff which is how I came to find this video :)

[@samallen6322]

Self Compassion is so relevant and necessary - thanks for sharing such important words...

[@UrbanomicInteriors]

I love so much of this, however when she first introduces the idea of self compassion as turning towards yourself the same kindness that you extend to others, I would challenge whether or not if it’s helpful to assume that all people treat their good friends with compassion to start with. There are people out in the world who are quite nasty to each other on a regular basis, even though they’re in close relationship with them. Perhaps even helping people learn to be compassionate in general is a necessary addition to this important work of teaching self-compassion.

[@sekoaib]

I think she going off of in a normal situation a person would be kind to their friends, she's not talking about those toxic people who have issues and mistreat their friends. But, I do get what you are saying which is very true

[@basketballfan5763]

I am only guessing but I imagine those with the least self compassion are the most compassionate to others...in relation to the narcissists u mention...I think they probably are overly self compassionate to the point of true narcissistic self adoration....just saying!.....I do recognise your valid point tho...we ALL (even narcissists) need to learn self compassion...I suppose at the deep core of narcissism is self loathing....but I don't know this....

[@UrbanomicInteriors]

@@basketballfan5763 I think that people who are Narcissistic are more in denial of the self, than self-compassionate. Taking an honest assessment of themselves is far too painful so their self-assessment is based on the false-self and so it is shallow or inauthentic.

[@jackybiscuits8193]

Thank you for this speech. I read your book and it changed my perspective on how I should treat myself.

[@wardasaleem1034]

Thank u so much Kristin for this amazing work, i have recently moved into therapy and my therapist told me how i lack self compassion. When i used your scale on your website my scores were pretty low but more i was reading about self compassion i was getting confused and this presentation clears a lot of my questions, so a big thank u for your amazing work.

[@kimberleekolb3472]

This is exactly what Ive been looking for. Thank you!

[@jillianhicks4312]

Such a comforting, inspiring message.

[@richardrickford3028]

Thank you Kristin Neff.

[@markahearne3280]

Peace love friendship and compassion always

[@mokkontai]

Thank you for this talk. Its amazing!

[@solmorales18]

Im new here and i really need so much self compassion. Rethinking things over and over is just not helping me on anything. I feel i cant do this anymore. But then i tell myself i have to support to myself different but it can be hard

[@taijitu123]

So good!

[@JohannesLMBauer]

Excellent Lecture, Kristin! And Your Book is very, very helpful and written self-compassionedly :)

[@toothlessjo]

Which book title? 😊 Gentle answer

[@alinagustiuc8117]

Self Compassion by Kristin Neff

[@asfasdfadf9820]

Love this

[@michaelheaney2701]

Very meditative machneamh relaxing music John. So difficult to play flute without hours and hours of practice

[@BJB1122]

Great teacher

[@elaineeselun1405]

Thank you :)

[@sheilacohn8719]

Thank you!

[@toothlessjo]

@12:25 practical Questions #helpful 💯 ♥

[@blackmamba208]

Really nice video :)

[@strongdan1]

Thanks ☯✝☮❤❤❤

[@johanesalpindo2451]

Her english is easy to listen ..

[@ip3931]

How I wish I could be such a successful, feminine, well spoken, likable, white, productive, healthy. educated lady like this instead of the indescribably thing I am however for now I'll just be self compassionate!

[@TerapiaCarrillo]

This is an evolution of rebt. This is evidently influence by albert ellis work

[@toothlessjo]

Rebt?

[@kathywilson4077]

Rational emotive behavior therapy

[@alencarbravo]

Can we have access to the powerpoint used in this presentation ?

[@roadreina]

36:57

[@gentlemanviking9389]

What about people like myself who accept that they're worthless and useless?

[@skibbityb1]

You are not worthless or useless. You are going through a hard time now, but better times will come.

[@hightechpickers4365]

Its impossible to "accept" something that is false. You have not "accepted" it, you have "internalized" it. You have internalized the voice of your narcissistic parent telling you you're worthless and useless, which is objectively false.

[@06howea1]

Cool

[@ilanitisraeli]

❤

[@elisal98800]

42:15

[@lienhoaa12]

nhạc hay

[@sharmilasharmila8974]

Dr Kristin are you a christian

[@weareallbornmad410]

Why would that matter?

[@loooveismusic8]

Right?! So unrelated. Just like that other comment that talked about Buddha and Buddhism. Some people go around looking to only push their own agenda and brainwash. It's kind of sad, that some are so stuck in the same religious brain chatter and will never ever open their mind to truly revolutionary psychological breakthroughs that can be incredibly healing and helpful to humanity.

[@A-X-25]

31:20 on-screen presentation "more personal responsibility and motivation to repair past mistakes". Responsibility means we have free will. What if we don't have free will not even 0.000000000000001%? What if all our decisions and actions are the results of all the interactions with the rest of the universe(people, stars, galaxies, our past genetic background, etc)? In my opinion responsibility is just a human fantasy.

[@supersaiyanzero386]

I take a page out of Hitchens who said "whenever people ask me if I believe in free will I say "I have no choice" That helps me understand even if free will is bs which it probably is bs, you have no choice but to exist as if it does, therefore it's okay to pretend and keep the language that it does because if you don't whether or not you're free lead doing it or not you will probably face a lot of psychological turmoil so it's okay to indulge in a certain degree of fantasy to keep yourself from kind of losing it as long as the line is drawn like I don't believe in religion or God but I can believe that somebody that I care about is thinking about me as a coping mechanism and that's kind of why you have to teach coping mechanisms to people instead of just learning them on your own I find no fault would someone adults hanging a fantasy before bed of having a partner nearby if they're alone and you can extend that to as dirty as you wanted to go or as innocent or somewhere in between depending on what requirements you have in the moment of struggling that's sort of what I'm doing right now cuz I've only slept a couple hours in the past few days so I'm willing or my brain is willing to employ whatever tactical needs to to get myself to calm down so I went to read it and I found this girl's name and I like her voice as she comes down but I also like what she saying even though I prefer to have a girl that care about talk to me she's busy but she wouldn't be mad if I was listening to someone else because she understands what it's like to feel scared but I'm totally with you I read Robert sapolsky and watch the human behavioral Biology lecture and Free Will is pretty much an obsolete scientific idea more of a philosophical one really because of biology psychology sociology and environmental interaction all making you who you are and what you do how you feel but as long as you're aware that it's okay I have fantasy of free will that is what self-compassion is in this context you may not be able to do it but if I tell you you may be able to understand it and it might get into your head and help you with a behavioral problem sorry if I'm explaining this in a non-scientific way but I want you to know that I agree with you and the majority of the neuroscientific community self-compassion part is allowing yourself like fancy about human nature in order to maintain a degree of Sanity it's sort of like stoicism for pragmatism doing what you have to do even if you're not doing it that's why I'm introducing the idea just in case on the off-chance that you are suffering I'm putting this idea in your head so that you may feel better about what's going on as long as the fantasy isn't affecting anyone else and you can draw the line it's pretty much justifiable so yes in a technical sense we don't have any responsibility for what we do but we must engage in the fantasy that we do to remain in the illusion of power order to maintain our sanity and in order to avoid sinking into the gray matter during times which we don't want to and part of this explanation is me using some of what she said without my free will very interesting way that people get information and learn how to cope with things things I'm just starting because I've had enough so my behavior is altering a little bit in order to accommodate that and maintain homeostatic balance

[@elisal98800]

We do have responsibility what we do with our hurt. It is not our fault others have acted in bad faith or harmed us. But it is our responsibility to take care of our pain and heal. It is also on us how we treat others, and we should not harm others. Think about it. You would wish people who hurt you to take accountability for their mistakes and acknowledge what they have done and behave better. Many times they won't but also people will eventually leave them cause they are not nice person to have as friend or more.

[@JohnSmith-ks5xw]

And that is why you are asleep. Wake up.

[@themindartist1840]

28 min

[@brianrivard9134]

1:25 So funny

[@livingstonlarj]

Why don't you reference the person who first introduced you to self compassion.

[@raneeranatunga5692]

The first one who introduce self compassion to world was lord gouthama the buddha born 2600 years ago in india who taught buddhist doctrine to have peaceful in life and death. And goal is nibbana deathlessness.through pirifying mind (Not heaven mentioned in god created releigeons )but finding peace within you by yourself doing concentration and insight meditations

[@George_Tropicana]

I love the message but unfortunately all of the sticky mouth noises the mic picked up completely distracted me. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me 😣 it’s frustrating to be distracted by that

[@lucasaparks888]

Rachel Laura I wasn’t thinking about that all and now I will not be able to listen to this without hearing every sticky mouth noise 😂

[@anz10]

She might have a slight lisp and can't help it so please be kind when you comment, you don't know if it's something that could upset someone

[@iheartwalle]

Grab her book then!

[@Talkinghelps2023]

OMG how petty obviously a very delicate being god bless you , peace and love

[@dariosimone2383]

Rach I do not hear any noises. Compare to what she is talking about. That little noise you may hear is so unimportant..

[@vansan1129]

Uma boa discussão está aqui: kzbin.info/www/bejne/iorZZGOnf7h3psk

[@vipermad358]

No one has ever come to me with a problem ever. So now what, Miss Smartypants?

[@weareallbornmad410]

Now, you imagine that someone did. How do you react? How would you want to react?

[@loooveismusic8]

😶

[@yp2992]

Can't believe i wasted so much of my time for her talk and her book. In her talk she just repeated the first chapter of her own book. Book is written very poorly: very limited vocabulary, she constantly repeats the same phrases and cannot deliver clear messages. In the book she is repeating, that self- compassion and self- pity are two, completely different things, yet managing to fail to tell the difference. Also, she fails to teach readers on how to reach that self- compassion. It's like telling people, who can't swim, about benefits of swimming, instead of teaching them exercises that are going to help them to swim. Repeating the benefits of swimming over and over again, and telling people stories about your wonderful swims, won't help them to learn how to swim. Once i heard her talking, with her mouth clicks and slow talk of California teenager, i can believe that this person wrote this book. Can't believe that she got PhD. I thought self- compassion is a good tool for people who are too hard on themselves, but her book and test are based on how do you evaluate yourself based on the other people and their achievements, and the level of your self- pity because you can't have what others have. Instead of teaching people to unconditionally love themselves, she's telling people that it's ok to be a sucker, cause the world needs those too. The fact, that she calls herself a doctor sounds like a joke to me.

[@Welsh_Veteran_420_Z]

Self compassion is an oxymoronic term This person is not a scientist

[@vipermad358]

Complete waste of time, unless you like hearing her swallow her water.

[@loooveismusic8]

Not as much of a waste of time as it is to have the misfortune v of being subjected to seeing you trolling and spewing your hate and anger at someone who's only talking about being loving with yourself and others. Good god you must really dislike yourself to be so nasty for absolutely no particular reason, in this context. Wow 😳

[@linebrun4099]

♥️

[@elisal98800]

59:27