Adam Grant's #1 phrase to unlock potential | Big Think+

The “compliment sandwich” technique doesn’t actually work. Wharton professor Adam Grant on how to give feedback that will actually help others reach their full potential.
Subscribe to Big Think on KZbin ► / @bigthink
Wharton School of Business professor Adam Grant believes it’s time to stop focusing on “natural talent.” He shares his experience growing up not feeling good at anything in particular, and how he surpassed that to achieve his highest potential.
He also shares a key phrase for inspiring others as a leader and maximizing their performance.
►Get Big Think+ for Business
Guide, inspire and accelerate leaders at all levels of your company with the biggest minds in business. bigthink.com/plus/great-leade...
0:00 A world obsessed with raw talent
0:20 Meet Adam Grant
2:05 Squandered potential
2:33 Two problematic kinds of leaders
3:35 The best kind of leader
4:20 How to deliver feedback
6:50 The 19 words for most effective feedback
Read the video transcript ► bigthink.com/series/the-big-t...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go Deeper with Big Think:
►Become a Big Think Member
Get exclusive access to full interviews, early access to new releases, Big Think merch and more. members.bigthink.com/?...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About Adam Grant:
Adam Grant has been Wharton’s top-rated professor for seven straight years. As an organizational psychologist, he is a leading expert on how we can find motivation and meaning, rethink assumptions, and live more generous and creative lives. He has been recognized as one of the world’s 10 most influential management thinkers and Fortune’s 40 under 40.
Grant is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of five books that have sold millions of copies and been translated into 45 languages: Think Again, Give and Take, Originals, Option B, and Power Moves. His books have been named among the year’s best by Amazon, Apple, the Financial Times, and The Wall Street Journal. His viral piece on languishing was the most-read New York Times article of 2021 and the most-saved article across all platforms.
Grant hosts WorkLife, a chart-topping TED original podcast. His speaking and consulting clients include Google, the NBA, Bridgewater, and the Gates Foundation. He writes on work and psychology for The New York Times, has served on the Defense Innovation Board at the Pentagon, has been honored as a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum, and has appeared on Billions. He has more than 6 million followers on social media and features new insights in GRANTED, his free monthly newsletter.

[@DonaldAMisc]

"Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

[@PhoenixtheII]

Please tell me again what another person should be like according to another. Watch me go rawr.

[@louiscolborn6715]

The Muppet baldylocks 😂❤

[@PJ19596]

@@PhoenixtheII you treat them with dignity and respect so that they can view themselves with dignity and respect

[@christiangoris91]

America needs a man like him again, “The American Scholar” is a piece by him that is dearly needs to be revisited and applied to todays modern American. May he rest in peace, thank you for all the lessons my man

[@missyflutter5562]

@@Outstanding_Galfact

[@electricjellyfish375]

"As long as I learn I will make mistakes" Failure can be a good thing. And in fact it's natural! It can often times be part of the process towards achieving something. Kids don't start as walking prodigies, they fall all over the place! But eventually they can become professional dancers.

[@ReflectionOcean]

- Recognize potential beyond initial talent (0:00) - Embrace the role of a coach to develop people (2:31) - Avoid cheerleader or critic extremes (2:36) - Give feedback that promotes growth, not just judgment (4:14) - Separate praise from criticism and invite two-way dialogue (5:43) - Frame feedback with positive expectations (6:49) - Encourage mutual growth and collaboration (7:16)

[@oddlots-xyz]

4:50 “If you give feedback at review time that comes as a surprise, you have failed as a leader” - wholly agree with this. If you can’t give constructive feedback in the moment, you may be deploying the wrong kind of empathy to be helpful to that person.

[@fluentinoverthinking]

I used to train dogs and there was a popular mistake people made all the time - instead of praising their dogs when they were doing right things they were waiting for them to do something they didn’t like and punish😢 This is a cruel approach, both towards animals and towards people. If someone is interested you can read about positive reinforcement methods. It helps a lot in life. I feel like I can connect to anyone and talk to anyone, whether the person is angry or upset, they always respond well if you now how to approach them.

[@ramyhuber8392]

Thanks yes! I have wonderful dogs and cats, I do a lot of positive reinforcement. Plus wanting to know about their individual likes, preferences, opinions. I have a cat who is a musician, it's quite a blessing.

[@willv88]

For those that are thinking about positive reinforcement, it's not that simple. Highly recommend Huberman's episode on Growth Mindset where he mentions we should focus on praising effort vs. ability. Traditional reinforcement turns into what Adam Grant is referring to here as a cheerleader.

[@physioweng]

It's been a while since we have such an unbiased, constructive presenter with solid content on Big Think! Enjoyed this episode very much and looking forward to implement the feedback style when it comes to effective leadership.

[@mr12aT]

Actually it hasn’t been very long at all

[@hwway4488]

As a 10-13 year old I was making third place in vaulting consistently. By that age I was anticipated to not grow tall enough to ever compete seriously and was sent to a high school with no sport extracurriculars that focused on mathematics with classes until evening. I never had an aptitude for drawing since I had spent most of my childhood playing outside being active, not inside learning to draw shapes. It turned out that I had no aptitude mathematics either after all. I now spend my time writing online mediocrely, occasionally translating technical into comprehensive and sometimes explaining social topics ranging from casual interpersonal topics to in-depth academic topics. It may not matter if we have a particular aptitude for something if we work hard and have the right guidance, coaching and training available to us, but having the wrong kind, or lack of any, can waste potential that we could never have known or imagined where it could lead.

[@o_m8717]

What a profound thought. The last sentence stands out. That is profound!

[@CD_RN_Independent_Voter]

It’s helpful guidance to tell someone in real time what behaviors they did well so they have a sense of being on the right track and a sense of having stability & growth with the company.

[@TurinTuram]

very interesting, I especially like the 19 words rule. About the coach approach, it's interesting too but if a team-leader don't have some role or authority over the new-comers or something it will get messy because it can be weird to coach or tell all the time what to do to someone without any particular role. The "one big family business" approach can get way more confusing than it seems for many workers.

[@ashaide]

Eight minutes of good, practical advice on leadership and coaching. Very nice. As someone who's led and had to train/coach young people, many of what Adam Grant says are familiar - so I know what works and what doesn't, and he gets a good deal of them - but also learned a lot.

[@kiltedpiper98]

I needed to hear this, especially the compliment sandwich part. Thanks Adam.

[@LimitedWard]

This is actually all really great advice. I think for me the thing I struggle with the most when delivering feedback is figuring out what feedback I want to give in the first place. Perhaps I keep my head down on my work too much to notice what others are doing well and what they can improve upon? IDK how to start actually spotting good/bad behavior in others.

[@tuckerbugeater]

Where's the evidence?

[@mchauhan4]

Excellent video. Adam Grant is so articulate. Succint yet comprehensive at the same time. Cheers!

[@HominidPetro]

Yay a video that actually gives me hope and helps me feel good!

[@justadreamtherapy3526]

Awesome video! Just made an order for your book on audible as well 😉👏🏽

[@dmann780]

An inspirational story and great advice. Thank you.

[@VeReePW]

Great advice for all teachers 😊 Thank you

[@barbarosozturk]

Incredible wisdom packed in such a short form content. Thank you!

[@danamckerrow9902]

Spot on advice, Adam 👏 I finally started working with a coach last year and have obtained exponential improvement in each targeted area 🎉 Nowadays, I sound like an infomercial whenever I am asked about the remarkable difference 😂

[@MrOwen-xs5hd]

We all have limitless Energy. To paraphrase Herbert Kohl; the word potential imposes a limit, something reachable. However, I like the idea that our energy is limitless and we can never know what the floor or celling is. This is a great topic, thanks for your insight.

[@tuckerbugeater]

just follow the secret bro

[@GeordieJimny]

Enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing your insights.

[@Haffun]

My Heart goes out to people who keep trying in the face of failure. I wonder why fate isn't ashamed.

[@garrybrown3165]

Coaches/mentors walk a tightrope. The best can teach us and motivate us to move forward. We need more of the best coaches/mentors to commit to training coaches/mentors to expand the process and each of us need to seek out coaches/mentors. Thank you for perseverance.

[@KreativeKritters]

Really enjoyed this episode. Great job

[@ramyhuber8392]

This is good coaching for a person designated in a leadership position at their place of work. I learned a lot, thanks.

[@JulianStreete]

This was so good. So clear. Phenomenal tips

[@t_n_t_o6519]

Mr. Grant you seem very kind and also you understand that the world isn‘t black and white which was necessary to understand for you to unlock your potential. It shows that you know that you have/had flaws and are accepting them. Only by accepting them you can start growing. A lot of people fail to accept them.. so great work and thank you for sharing your journey and knowledge!

[@calvinchew7985]

I love reading your book "Think Again"....thanks so much !

[@julietagreco2799]

I always learn a lot from Adam Grant. 😊

[@kwanpakshing]

Just simply love this video!

[@silvestrossouthernitaly9795]

I'll be harvesting this for weeks. Excellent!

[@owenthomas6110]

I feel like I’m not good at much. My dream is to be a singer-songwriter because I live for music. Started learned the guitar and piano 3 months ago, at 25 yrs old. Not giving up on myself even if it goes nowhere, at least I can try!😅

[@davidhaynes3126]

We had a teacher like that in grade 7 and 8. He was brutal, intimidating, and one could hear him screaming at students from any location of the middle school. He never assaulted anyone I know of, but even the toughest country kids would shake in there boots around him. I don’t know if he taught us much. They ended up making him the librarian. That’s where my love of books took a hiatus.

[@agalva100]

This is good advice indeed.

[@zainiqbal2987]

Thank you for the information

[@theguardian3431]

Very informative! Thank you.

[@peterwerrenrath1112]

Excellent thinking!

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

Great topic and emotionally intelligent advice. The compliment sandwich is ridiculous. Most people generally feel it's insincere and passive aggressive. It is possible to tell the truth if it's delivered well.

[@4242brvrdbd]

Yeah I’ve always felt the sandwich was flattery.. just be real about people’s strengths and weaknesses, and be open about your own and people will respond well.

[@Alawiiiz]

this is so helpful thankssssssssssss

[@Zachariah109]

need someone to get this in my feed every month as a self reminder! 26/10/23 I know you can do it internet

[@PotemkinDogpack]

Reminder

[@user-pw3dv8ct4b]

this is great

[@KellyRVillanueva]

Loved this ❤❤❤❤❤ 8:00

[@dan-allen]

While I doubt lousy leaders would bother watching this I still have to say: I doubt any of these changes matter if they’re not genuine. I think there’s a prerequisite that the leader have a growth mindset about the people they coach in order for that growth to be contagious.

[@larrynotgary]

So this video has lots of good nuggets, but honestly my favorite part is definitely the muppet story at 1:20 lmao

[@john117ONI]

Love it 🗣💯

[@maemilev]

My dna report told me i am not suitable for endurance sports yet my potential shine on that category!

[@mohammedwassouf2695]

Splendid ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@criesonic]

Other people: * *Insert their thoughts or opinions on the topic with their great ideas.* * Me: This guy never blinked during the talk.

[@ashleydsilva9284]

3:54 that quote need to frame that

[@devhims]

Some hard truths were shared in this video...

[@will-la]

How did Adam not blink this entire video?

[@sams64sf]

Yeah I'm surprised no one else mentioned that. Probably just nervous, but the non-blinking deadpan expression reminds me of Zuck and is kinda uncomfortable to watch. Great message and content though.

[@tuckerbugeater]

The first step to not blinking is to believe you can't. @@sams64sf

[@jamesonpace726]

When we were young & went to school, there were certain teachers who would hurt the children in any way they could - The Wall, Pink Floyd

[@vincebalsamo]

The production is top tier

[@StrangeAttractor]

that's great. really. now how do I get people to stop failing me?

[@wnose]

Make better choices

[@StrangeAttractor]

@@wnose riiiiiight. That’s that all sorted then, thanks for the incredibly useful advice! Ffs

[@abhishekpathak7777]

there should be a video for "how to not fall for the wrong people"

[@A_few_words]

I think the quality of this video could be improved by providing citations to the studies he referred to in the description of the video

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

You can borrow/buy his book which probably has citations

[@tuckerbugeater]

i don't read fiction @@Here4TheHeckOfIt

[@alexanderw.5200]

Dojos are places of growth, we may fight in them, but everyone is trying to improve their art and community. Constructive criticism is about growth, not an attack.

[@shantanu.t]

❤❤❤

[@manuuudc3724]

He blinked twice.

[@tuckerbugeater]

bot

[@MorganHyde-ie5ru]

I don't care if I fail people. I've been failed by them. I give up.

[@FreePalestineEndZionism]

I know this feeling. Not everyone is bad though. Must find the good ones. ❤

[@catatonicbug7522]

I try to be a coach at work, but tend to me more of a cheerleader. However, I always criticize those closest to me, and it ruins relationships.

[@marvymillz]

🤔

[@jeremyscott9965]

So, having a great coach is key

[@fatimazahraan7913]

So now I don't need to read the book 😅 ?

[@tuckerbugeater]

Evidence?

[@thecreativemonsters1416]

Please can you interview Jullian Assange?

[@chadwithautism]

Have actual wisdom and don't be a smartass unless you're asking for it 📈💯

[@connerwilson142]

I can see why they think he's a Muppet, his teeth hardly show 😂

[@deersakamoto2167]

Too bad Adam Grant was failing TED (Chris Anderson) with regard to the Coleman Hughes color blindness debate. I can no longer look at him the same way

[@user-po9ne6tx1c]

Mind explaining ?

[@deersakamoto2167]

@@user-po9ne6tx1c You can watch a video called "Why is TED scared of Color Blindness?" - in the middle Adam Grant is mentioned

[@mrsallister32]

which muppet is very important

[@dasanji90]

When people are splitting profits, they don't remember me, when they are celebrating their victories, big or small, they don't remember me, no matter my contributions, they don't remember me, It's like, to them I was a divine intervention, Like God left the comfort of his kingdom to come and intervene on their behave. So, when they are pain and suffering, my hope is that they don't also remember me. People failed me first. Maybe they should change that about themselves. Maybe they should extend their table this way, that way, when they are in trouble, I will remember breaking bread with them. I was there for a lot of people, I thought that when my time came, they would be there for me. But when I was dying, there were the first to show up with wood and a pyre, nobody was there for me. Some were even glad that it was happening to me... That was when I had my epiphany. That I had to be there for myself first. That shit changes a man, PTSD, not a good way. I can't be there for you the way you want to be because you weren't there for me they way I wanted you to be. There are no hard feelings, it's just the way it is, now. Now that, I survived my hell and it has made me stronger, my hope is that, people should learn to survive their own personal hell, alone. The hope is that they come on the other side, stronger.

[@andersonst.claire5119]

Was your raw talent augmented by your father’s donations to Wharton? Best of luck sir!

[@lucyeum3146]

I think you're wrong. I don't think people NEED to change or achieve whatever potential you think they need to achieve. That's so self-centred of you. People are great at being who they are and following their own paths in life. You be who you are, they be who they are, you help them if they "want" help but this is hard to judge and people with such a mindset that people need to change tend to have problems with boundaries of this "helping."

[@ipinnuoladipo363]

You are right and i think there's another way to look at this. We are all constantly changing as people anyways, whether we realise it whatever path we are on will always be decided by the environment and people around us which are also changing. So its like we are changing constantly by those factors anyways. Yes we don't NEED to realise our potential but it seems like the decision to change is already set in stone so why not change for the best.

[@mrdavemo]

You don't NEED to change, if you're 1 in a million. The rest of us need to learn good habits, apply ourselves, and strive to be more. From the sounds of it you definitely need to change, which isn't a criticism. It's a process of growth. Good luck!

[@lucyeum3146]

@@mrdavemo 1 in a million what? How do you define "good" habits? What do you mean by "applying" ourselves? Strive to be more of what? You're saying it sounds like I DEFINITELY need to change, but I don't know why you speak in such absolute terms with no specfic examples or definitions. What are you afraid of? What do you think will happen if you don't change? You're being vague.

[@lucyeum3146]

@@ipinnuoladipo363 Interesting, thanks for the discussion. I guess I don't completely agree with the fundamental concept that there's some kind of a "potential" to realize. That brings me to an interesting thought though, what if one wants to find out if they have potentials to realize? I think it would be too extreme if the society had no means of doing that. Like you said, we are constantly changing anyway, but should someone decide they want to experience change, I think there should be means of trying that out, but the concept that something is set in stone provokes anxiety. Yes, risk-taking is something that is inevitable in some aspects in life, but I think it is unfair for us to expect children to just make a decision to stay in school then choose majors etc at a young point in life without much experience and expect to never change that decision after experiencing and realizing who they are, or like you said, after being changed in other ways by other factors in life.

[@ipinnuoladipo363]

@@lucyeum3146perfectly said

[@Vibranium603]

Im not attacking you. Im not judging you, but you need to blink once in a while.

[@monopolybillionaire5027]

Lizard

[@lolidkstudio]

Zuckerberg lizardman relative?

[@pyeitme508]

Oof 😅

[@ShannonJacobs0]

Effort is more important than talent--but the lucky few who put the effort on top of the talent are going to win...

[@terrancekayton007]

🫡

[@c.f.3503]

Third

[@nunyobidness2358]

The thing about people is.... fuck em.

[@PhoenixtheII]

Stop interacting with humans, it's never good enough. Get a cat or dog instead and care for them. They are so much better.

[@monopolybillionaire5027]

Yes

[@tuckerbugeater]

reality is going to hit you like a ton of bricks@@monopolybillionaire5027

[@Robinson8491]

Leaders have time to be coaches? 😮

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

How is this misunderstood? He said the most common leadership styles are cheerleaders or critics. But the most effective leaders act more like coaches.

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

Muppet 😂😂😂😂😂

[@djtomoy]

Do we really want to unlock the potential of everyone? Wouldn’t that be messy and violent?

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

What? The potential Adam is referring to here is to be the best person you can be - not the best serial killer.

[@tuckerbugeater]

You can't control sick minds@@Here4TheHeckOfIt

[@civilsavant6072]

So many of your videos, like this one, are uniquely relevant to the privileged. That makes them irritating to watch because those people already have all the freedom, all the opportunity, easy-peasy lives with minimal expectations and guaranteed resources. They are the last people who need more support like this. Please think about creating some videos for helping people in the slave class, with no freedom or opportunity, get out of the slave class. We are something like 90% of the world's population, 85% in the USA, and your kind treat us like we don't exist. So how about some videos that can relevant to the principle portion of humanity for a change?

[@civilsavant6072]

@@Outstanding_Gal Coping is not acceptable. Not unless you are fine with the slave class vengefully rebelling for our own liberation.

[@philsanders9625]

Agreed. In the video: I had a hard time becoming an Olympic swimmer, then I had a hard time after securing a full time position as a professor of psychology...I mean, really? How about the story of working a full time job at 17 to pay the bills, or getting out from under an abusive manager who threatens to give you a bad review if you leave after 5 years. But big thinks profit comes from a business subscription...so you should try 'the school of life'. Different but closer to normal people

[@saldabri123]

Yes this speaker is “privileged” and he can only give examples from his own experience. But that does not mean that his findings are not applicable to everyone.

[@jnuzz]

No one made you watch this video. Just because he is in a different line of work, does that make him any less human, or any less likely to face the struggles every human does?

[@civilsavant6072]

​@@jnuzz To answer your question: As you can see from his story in the video, he had extremely rare privileges from the beginning. Housing, access to schooling, etc. From that privilege he matured into a life full of opportunity, and from those opportunities he was granted freedom. He may have struggled from his perspective, but his life is a stark contrast from the typical human experience of struggling to merely survive from the first moment. So if 'more/less human' is an idea that makes sense for you, then yes, it might be argued that not experiencing existence in the way that humanity does serves to make someone less human. It should also be considered that people who live in such exorbitant privilege have all the power needed to end the state of classist domination our species is suffering without the sacrifices associated with forcing revolutionary uprising of the slave class, and they choose not. Consistently, generation to generation, all the privileged choose to preserve the enslavement of humanity, they choose to be complicit with the parasites who enslave us, and that, again, could be said to maybe make them less human, as they have obviously abandoned humanity as a social home. The point of my original comment on this video was not to make any criticism of anyone's human-ness, but to suggest that these people, with this great popular platform on this youtube channel, just think about doing something with it that can be relevant to more than just the most privileged 10-15% of the world. Nobody cares about them. They have their chance to be regarded as part of humanity, and they basically say meh to it. The slave class is the people who need more exposure and visibility, and more expert support from helpful voices.

[@lugaritzbrown2250]

Some of these problems an probably be solved by AI.

[@antinatalope]

But I don't owe you guys anything.

[@mischavanasperen3063]

Ah... The 'expert'... Pedantic mumbo jumbo.

[@fyimediaworld]

Dude completely glosses over the one thing even he admits helped him succeed: Having someone who believes in you.

[@bharathkrishna9049]

Messi

[@behnamrajabali7317]

I have read his books Think Again Originals Give and Take And I am shocked by the information and thought behind each one of them. He is excellent at bringing new innovative ideas to have a work-life balance. Thank you, man.