You Are Who You've Been Looking For by Adam Roa

"Your capacity to love others is limited only by your capacity to love yourself."
This is something I heard years ago but have only recently begun to truly understand. It all starts inside. When I am able to love my perceived flaws, I can love your flaws too because I see myself in you. When you might stumble on your journey, I empathize because I see my own struggle mirrored back to me. My heart expands because I feel COMPASSION. And the world could use some more compassion right now.
Thank you Kyle Cease for inviting me on stage to share this piece of poetry with the Evolving Out Loud audience earlier this year. It's called "You Are Who You've Been Looking For" and I love performing it because when I do, I allow myself to drop into deeper appreciation for who I am and the journey I'm on. It is my hope that as you watch it, you'll feel called to do the same. Listen, breathe deeply, and recognize how amazing you are. You are a walking miracle. You are perfect.
And you are seen, heard and loved.
www.AdamRoa.com

[@tamidon40]

This poem speaks to my daughter. Twelve years old, struggling with depression and suicidal ideation and an eating disorder, she read this poem to me and my wife today in an adolescent inpatient facility. It speaks to her deeply. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Adam, for giving her another voice speaking words she needs to hear. She keeps a printout of this in her journal, there for whenever she needs it.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

This fill my heart with so much joy. I am glad my poetry is helping your daughter. Has she seen my music video of the poem? kzbin.info/www/bejne/i5vboYZpi7Rsnq8

[@keira6730]

Thank u for this, when I read i listen better! Tysm for taking the time to do this ☺

[@Veryberrymalyali]

pls keep understanding your daughter she needs you... i dont want her to go thru that me being a 13 year oldd xoxo

[@dorianwatts8893]

How does one end up with such problems at 12?

[@isabelleknowles8899]

This poem changed my life

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

glad you found this so impactful. :)

[@elainemarie89]

Changed my whole life after a breakup feeling empty and insecure

[@loganproctor5553]

Same

[@keira6730]

Yes,

[@andrewpresnell101]

Mine too

[@averagealisha8227]

every time i watch this and he mentions how he treats his cup irresponsibly, i get chills. every time.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

much love

[@rebeccalindsey395]

The Dr. Suess of SELF COMPASSION.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

haha I like that :)

[@nagendrabijur]

@@AdamRoaOfficial this poetry is life changing man! Respect! Here in India people need to see this and learn , would you please let me use this on my channel so I will make it reach out to all deserving folks ..?

[@robert_eckstein]

You are who you've been looking for. So stop looking for more unless you are looking in the mirror because it is about time for you to see clearly that: You are who you've been looking for. And that empty feeling you got, that hole in your chest you only got that feeling because you think you are not blessed with everything you need. You see we live in a consumerist society which means they need you to buy stuff and the easiest way to sell it is to tell you 'You are not enough'. Buy this car, you will get girls. Buy the bra, you will get guys. And we are seeing is so much that we start believing these lies. But the truth is: the make up they are selling to make you feel prettier is the same make-up you buy to stop feeling shittier about this lie they keep telling you that 'You are not enough'. And what about the movies we watch or the shows on TV The more I watch the more I see 'I need you to complete me'. And yes, love is the answer, love is the key but if you can't love yourself how could you ever love me. And loving yourself what does that even mean like massages and selfies and that sort of thing? Because the more I think about it the more it feels weird, I was always been taught that self-love is something to be feared. I've been taught that arrogance is bad and vanity, it's not good. And even my bracelets are telling me to act like Jesus would. So what should I do? How should I act? I am supposed to love myself but how do I even do that? Well, I got a trick that I pick up from a friend. Who noticed that I was quick to defend her when she would say something negative about herself. She would say 'I am so dumb' and I would say 'You are so brilliant' She would say 'I am so weak' and I would say 'You are so resilient' And when she said 'I feel ugly' and I said 'You look beautiful', she asked me why I was so dutiful filling up her cup constantly and yet treating my own cup so irresponsibly. Because when I looked in the mirror my voice was quite clear “You are ugly, you are too thin, your hairlines receding, you got a pimple on your chin” And that was when she gave me a piece of advice that changed my life: She gave me a hug and she said 'Treat yourself like someone you loved' Treat yourself like someone you loved. Now, I've been standing but I needed to be sitting because I couldn't believe that I had been letting myself keep forgetting that I was who I've been looking for. And deep in my core I knew it was time to stop looking for more until I could look through all my fear and look into a mirror and see clearly that the man looking back at me was the only one who can make me happy, and I am already enough. And I am not any more special or unique than you that is why I am here to speak to you 'You are already enough'. And when you start to see that you will start to be that. Your world will get brighter, your load will get lighter and you see that with life you can be a lover and not a fighter. And that life... you deserve it. Because you are worth it. And there is no point in letting yourself keep forgetting because no matter what you say or do: 'You are perfect'. As of today I hope I leave you with a direction correction away from the flaws you see in our reflection. They aren't flaws to me they are simply protection against all the doubts you have of your perfection. So start today, take a good long look in the mirror and say 'I am who I've been looking for'

[@MrMooney196144]

Thanks for this bro 😊✌🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[@petrjust]

Thank you

[@jkc1553]

Thank you Robert. 😊

[@mindfulradhika]

Robert Eckstein can you forward this poem to me? I’m unable to copy paste ?

[@anoriane4393]

Thank your for transcribing 🙏👍

[@amandawalker1327]

“Treat yourself like someone you loved.” This hit so hard, and there is so much truth and depth in this one small sentence. I love this because we are so quick to judge ourselves and look down upon ourselves. I watched this at work and I started tearing up because this is so deep. So true, so thank you. I am forever watching this on my hard days💛🌻

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

There's also a musical version on Spotify you could listen to if you want a pick-me-up.

[@jessievecchio]

‘And yes love is the answer, love is the key, but if you can’t love yourself, how could you ever love me.’ One of my fav lines.

[@keira6730]

This poem made me cry, it changed my life... im watching it over and over

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

You are seen, you are heard, and you are loved

[@keira6730]

Ö the creator has like never replied to my comments 😅 u r like awesome and I think u r amazing 👏 💗 please keep doing what ur doing Adam roa u make alot of people like me lives better

[@payalk2898]

Be a lover, not a fighter Treat yourself like someone you love

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

💯❤

[@Sebastian-ej5mp]

My teacher showed this to my class at the end of the day and I almost cried. This message is super strong and changed the way I viewed the world.

[@evanmaldonado9799]

We need more teachers like that, it’s a beautiful message that a lot of us need to hear, especially our generation.

[@Zunaira]

Okay..... Now I am binge watching your channel and WHAT. IS. THIS. Adam, wow. You are a poet. You are a unicorn. You are... damn, need I go on? You already know it all. Thank you for this. Have it bookmarked for my melancholy, uninspired days. much love, Marina

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Thanks so much! I appreciate the love :)

[@sincerelyaseeker2923]

I found this poem three years ago. It has helped me to get through a lot. I’ve been reading it every time I’m feeling self conscious, depressed, anxious, like I want to end it. But I read it and hear it. And life seems a bit better. Thank you so much for this

[@lindascharg5084]

Monday Feb 12 74 yrs old 40 yrs clean and sober and still need to hear this poem right now and probably daily along with 12 steps ,helping,others,prayer,meditation,therapy,healthy food,god,service,fresh air and new people places and things and continual healing from a searingly hopeless disease! Linda S in sf

[@giovannifurnari8668]

I’m crying ❤ listening to this. I’ve watched it before and i always cry because it speaks the truth of my soul.❤ Thank you 🙏 Adam for showing me that I am enough. ❤

[@princessaroha1720]

At 25, I realize that I don't know how to love myself. I am still clueless of how I wanted to be loved. But this shed the light to my path way back to home, leading back to myself. This is the first step where I believe I can find my true self, my worth, and of how can I love myself. I'm leaving my cocoon, stepping out of my comfort zone. 😳👊 Every step little by little will not hurt me. It will be hard but will be bearable. 💪

[@evanmaldonado9799]

I’m 22 and I’ve been struggling a lot with self love, I was in a major rut, but this made me feel better. I’m glad that it shed that light to your path, keep going, you should be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone and taking those steps on your journey to self improvement and loving yourself🖤

[@cute.beluga4261]

Never heard the truth about loving yourself been said so powerfully ... Thank you Adam

[@Karl_Reyes]

I live with chronic depression and social anxiety - these 2 things have made it difficult for me to make friends & maintain relationships. Last spring I went through a rough breakup that almost broke me. My life was flipped. Most days are pretty heavy for me. I try to bury myself in work so as not to think about things, but the mind goes where it wants. 9 months after the breakup, and I still haven't figured out how to "get out there" and be social again. It's just not in my nature. However, every single time I'm feeling like I've hit rock-bottom, I watch this video. A couple of months ago, I put post-its up all over my home with quotes from the poem. They help. Thanks Adam

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

what a beautiful comment, thanks for letting me know. You're doing great, just keep loving on yourself as best as you can.

[@KimberFlory]

I don't add a lot of comments to videos. I'm just one to watch and move on. But I wanted to say something. This video triggered a change in my life. People have been telling me my whole life similar things to this - love yourself, believe in yourself, etc. But I've gone through my 50 years pretty much not loving or even liking myself. Your message came at a time and in a way that really made me look at myself. And change. I've realized that I am who I've been looking for my whole life. Thank you

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Wow, I'm so grateful that this impacted you so deeply. thank you for taking the time to comment

[@abhishekgohil3817]

I was constantly trying to impress others while showing no care for myself. I hated myself for my looks. The poem made me realise that I need to understand and love myself to the fullest first. This poem really helped me to accept who I am.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

so happy to hear that.

[@megm2873]

This poem made me feel like I wasn't worthless and I started to cry because I've never really been happy and happiness is the best feeling I've ever felt and I hadn't felt it since my mom died in a car accident and my dad said I was a piece of shit and I didn't deserve to be born and that I was a disgrace to the world and I shouldn't have been born but now I know he was wrong and this poem made me feel loved again thank you Adam Roa you have changed my life

[@johnreyliesulayao766]

"Treat your self like someone you love" This phrase has been my go to when i lost a close friend who has been with me since back then. So i took care of myself and everytime i feel the longing i repeat this phrase.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

what a great use of this phrase!

[@juniorfelix4877]

Our creator, is the one that we are looking for......

[@joemama1453]

I have seen this vid many times and its still amazinv every time.

[@terragrahamthefirst]

In Frozen 2, when Elsa’s mother tells her “You are the one you’ve been waiting for,” and Elsa’s smiling through her tears, I always get overwhelmed. That was one of the most impactful moments in my life, sitting there in the theater and hearing that. Now, sitting here listening to this, I’m smiling through my own tears. Thank you.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Love that, thank you

[@pamjones2133]

BRAVO!! ADAM ROA... You are as wise as a 100~ yr old Gentleman, You are a Beautiful Soul... Much Success and Blessings from Jesus & God Above

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Aww thank you. Sending you lots of love :)

[@rohitsingh-rd3bw]

One of the best poem of my life I love to listen in morning after bed from 1 year this is amazing...

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Thank you for taking it to heart :)

[@rohitsingh-rd3bw]

@@AdamRoaOfficial thank you so much for reply I am the biggest fan of you and listened your podcast from mindavelly on Spotify

[@bdizzleforrizzle8825]

Adam Roa, just so you know I'm a therapist that works with children, teens, young men and women. Whenever we discuss self-compassion and self-love, this is always the 1st place I start. I've shared with so many people who needed to hear this and colleagues alike. You've touched so many more lives than you'll ever know. Thank you for this message 💕

[@kevintan96]

Watched this when it first came out 3 years later still find myself coming back to remind myself. Thank you for this(:

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

:)

[@samanthawann5568]

I can not believe that I have lived over four years without hearing this poem. I recently came across a TikTok with this sound. It truly changed my life and brought me to tears. Lately, my mental health has been at its worst, though, these words that I have put up on my bedroom wall reminds me every day that I am enough. Thank you, Adam. This poem truly saved my life.❤

[@myrebuild725]

I saw this 2 years ago during a long phase of self discovery Adam. It made me cry and played a big part in finding my self esteem. Thank you brother I have a lot of love for you for this.

[@saniakhan1108]

@Adam roa we want to see always like that this energy is amazing👏

[@amber8349]

Performances like these are why I’ve fallen in love with reading and making poetry. A good poem can bring so much out of you

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

I love poetry so much :)

[@mjdavid3786]

Thank you beautiful being. Your poetry connects me to myself and my truth in such deep, profound and meaningful ways. Sending so much love your way from South Africa ✨💚❤💙🤗🤗🤗

[@alicialum5351]

I’ve watched this 4 times now i believe. And i cry every single time.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

thanks for feeling so deeply

[@sylviaschuller4660]

YES Thank you Adam Roa

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Thanks for watching the show Sylvia :)

[@triciamoran4996]

I just LOVE, Love, Love this poem. I also Love his IAm Enough Poem. 🥰

[@AmandaJYoungs]

Wow! That is epic! I wish I had heard it years ago. I wish everyone I know had heard it years ago too. So, so good...

[@billcarmody4587]

Adam, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this poem and video. You inspire me and your words move my soul. Thank you for this beautiful gift of pure unadulterated insight, passion and self-love. YOU ROCK, my friend.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Thank you for this comment Bill! I appreciate the love and I'm glad you liked this poem :)

[@juliewuis8858]

Adam, watched you on evolving out loud and I have to say, i listen to your message almost every morning

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

I'm so happy to hear that, thank you

[@karendamotta888]

I get chills everytime I watch this! ✨ I'm that to have seen this in person. It was just as powerful that day. ✨

[@janineprisco2032]

Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow!!!!! Life changing!!!!!!

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Thank you

[@kanhagupta6332]

I am shocked that this video only has 400k views because this video changed my life and now i always have a smile on my face...... POWER OF WORDS...

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

I'm so glad that you appreciate my poem!

[@DeanRendar]

glad people not aware of this realization can move their focus for only what brings them fulfillment, life goals,and real change, the world was always routing for you, just not in methods and 3experiences we stereotypically look back at like a tv show. But time shows us this.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Beautiful reflections. thanks for watching Dean

[@noorhayatimohdrashidi2979]

I wish I can hug you bro. You words help me a lot. May God bless you and your family :)

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

e-hug received!

[@titanforged7380]

Confirmed! We have a prophet Among Us... Preach brother

[@sstonegmail]

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you, Adam. You are a gift from God.

[@mehrshadseyedhayatgheib9456]

Treat urself as u treat some one u loved thats all wow so life changing

[@dark6juan]

It's heaven on earth when you hear his words. A miracle, life is something wonderful and still we don't know it.

[@JamesEnglish]

Powerful ❤️

[@chantalsimonetto2667]

Brilliant and Beautiful!🐾🌟💋

[@nothankyou-ye4gt]

I’ve never heard the first half and I’m glad I listened to it.

[@chilliechips8880]

It actually makes so much sense!!!

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

yesssss

[@eve2947]

Oh wow beautiful love your energy 🦋

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

thank you!

[@_wonderwoman]

Yes, yes and yes. Thank you Adam.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

❤️❤️❤️

[@thekylagracieshow]

I was such a different person before I watched this .. now I have been watching it for a year and it makes me see life so different now.. recently I had a friend who was down on life and not sleeping so I sent them this video, it helped them so much... Thanks Adam 👍 and well-done

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Thanks so much for sharing it with people and helping to spread love.

[@andrewtryphena]

Powerful! Really touched me! Correct timing!

[@GinjaNinja01]

...it always IS 'correct timing' dear Friend...there is no 'wrong time' to be enlightened...I think Adam has affected all who pass by here...and all those we have shared this with. Truth is ...simple...BS is complex and right about 'now'...Humanity is beginning to get 'over that'...again....to quote you...'CORRECT TIMING' Ginja Ninja xo

[@orianoelle]

I may need to listen to this every single day. ❤❤

[@himanshusingh8993]

Thank you very much bro. The words you spoke are true and truthful words are surely MAN'S WAND. THANK YOU. I have watched this video around 100 times. Still watching.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Thank you Himanshu, glad this resonated :)

[@andreamarksberry345]

This is beautiful and it’s what SO many of us need to hear and to live!

[@tjbuckey]

Amazing!! Thank you for sharing such a powerful message.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

You're welcome!

[@rileybrown5890]

When I wanted to be a relationship most, i came across your poem and it really made me realize my worth. I’m all I need. Thank you, Adam

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Just think of what you can attract from that place of being enough :)

[@JoeSharp1]

So special Adam. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@cristinaglez.belmar4505]

Mindblowing! Thank you for your inspiration

[@mariongray6254]

Truly wonderfully inspiring! Thank you for being you! 😊🙏

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

And thank you for being you

[@love_dove_]

I’ve listened to this poem countless times and it still gives me the biggest goosebumps mmmm so amazing! 💕💕💕

[@ianarao]

I watch this every once in while to keep me in check

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

love hearing that :)

[@twoamkebab]

For the first time in the past 3-4 years I got to see myself clearly in the mirror, it is also the first time in my life I said I am enough. For as long as I can remember, I've always thought of myself as a machine rather than a human being. Id tell myself everything needs to be done perfectly, no mistakes allowed which eventually led to unnecessary anxiety, trust issues and self hatred. But this video made me truly wake up. Thank you Adam

[@patriciaroskoski1897]

This has so much depth and truth and has changed my entire out look on life

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Wow! Happy to hear that.

[@ellietrickett1282]

I’m thankful I’m seeing this. This is gonna change me life

[@MrMooney196144]

Dang, got me teared up Adam ! Great job 😊😊😊✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[@awelemakeba2469]

Fill thy cup! May it runneth over! Say “I’m who I’ve been looking for!” and believe it in your mind, heart & spirit👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

[@Antiikkikauppa]

I saw this on instagram some months ago and it instantly changed the way I view things. Now I'm back because I needed the same change again, and this time I want to say thank you. You've made an impact on so many people, and I know I will come back to hear these words again. Thank you.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

thanks so much for using the poem in that way. There's a musical version available on spotify, apple music, and google play if you ever want a pick-me-up listen :)

[@Roamancing]

Such beautiful and powerful words, and so much truth.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

thanks!

[@BCcasa]

I'm not perfect. I'm just imperfectly perfect.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

perfectly imperfect too :)

[@shirishbaral308]

Best speech I've heard till the date.

[@maryamalfaraj8397]

This is the type of motivational speech I need when I feel down, whenever I’m down I just remember this, I love this, this is great, thank you

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

I'm glad the poem does this for you :). thanks for watching

[@shannonbrunskill6573]

I watch this video atleast 3 times a week

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

wow! really glad you like it. I just released an intimate, meditation/affirmation style version of this poem if you're interested. It's on my website www.AdamRoa.com

[@idktbhx]

Our Sociology lecturer made us watch this, in class, and as a poet, I was so intrigued by this, and wanted to know more of your works. This is beautiful! ❤️

[@ryanarchuleta3754]

I'm not gonna lie, I thought poetry was a dead art. You crushed this man. Great job. I'm a fan for life.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

I appreciate that bro

[@amyderitter79]

Wow wow wow.....I'm speechless......💞💞💞 you are just wow Adam

[@mamtasharma5895]

Love you Adam....for you made me love me more and more

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Happy this impacted you the way it did :)!

[@HoudaBetsyPS3]

🥺 had only heard sound bites on tiktok but very powerful this!

[@kathleenfinnerty7846]

I love me and I love you Adam!

[@sparrow_3280]

This is why we need more people like you this is brilliant

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

thank you so much.

[@hitanshitabishii1312]

Every single line of the poem have the impact🙌

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

That's the intention :) Thank you for saying so

[@christineneumeyersteele3174]

Adam Roa, your poetry is profound, absolutely brilliant!!!! A truth spoken exactly said the way I needed it to be in order to hear it, thank you!!!! and Bless you sir!!! XO

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Blessings to you too

[@lisamarie3420]

I will listen to this every morning, every night and every time I doubt myself. 🥰

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Amazing Azil :). thank you

[@lisamarie3420]

AdamRoa you are amazing, thank you for responding - you took the time which is something people rarely do. Also, thank you for helping me on IG find you over here on KZbin.

[@KiwikimNZ]

Thank you Adam. My healer sent me this video a couple of months ago. This poem changed my life. I finally found the love I was looking for within myself. I didn’t know how to love myself or where yo start, but this poem made something click and It has changed my life. I always thought the old say “ you can never love anyone until you love yourself” was untrue as I could love others, but not myself. But once I had my light bulb moment after seeing this video, I felt “I am good enough” and not only did I realise I deserve to love myself, that I do love myself, but from that instant on my love for others grew..into Infinity! Thank you for this gift. It’s a wonderful feeling to let my story go and see myself as perfect. Xxxx

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

so happy to hear my poem had this impact on you.

[@Lilahmichelle1]

Preach!!!! Love this

[@oliyahjackson9127]

I watch this everyday and make me perfect

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

You make yourself perfect!

[@vladimer33]

Amazing powerful words. Thank you so much for those words. You just made a change in my life, and with tears is my eyes I thank you. Much love to you.

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

I love hearing this, thank you for sharing. I'm glad it resonated with you

[@hal5964]

When you said “treat yourself like someone you love” I swear my heart stopped for a split second because I realized how much I criticize myself. This poem was amazing, you’re amazing, keep up the good work and thank you.

[@rajatsaini5125]

Amazing lines ❤️💓💕💖💞💟❣️💗💝

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

Glad it resonates for you

[@RohanPanchalD]

The best poem on self love man Love you

[@austincostin]

Thank you. Perfectly expressed and easy to share and spread this message, something which should never have been hidden from us. People are waking up and seeing past the cloud. xx

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

We are all waking up! Such an amazing time to be alive.

[@TheAiga]

I got chills. So powerful. Thank you

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

You're welcome

[@kaylacarter8690]

I LOVEE THIS SM❤️‍🔥

[@yootoob2193]

Wow, what a bucket of ice water on my psyche! A therapist friend once said most of his job was done when he made people realize that they treated STRANGERS better than their self. The great Quentin Crisp said: "Neither look forward where there is doubt, nor backward where there is regret. Look inward, and ask not if there is anything outside that you want, but anything inside you have not yet unpacked."

[@omaimael-agamy6304]

I remember that I did spend the whole day thinking why I am not enough, then I was going through Tiktok and I heard those line "You are ugly you are too thin.. etc", so I started looking for the poem and here I am listening/replaying it over and over again. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this, this helped me a lot and it did change my mindset, you are absolutely right, we are enough and whatever I'm seeking, it's already within me, I just had to walk miles within myself to know this. Thank you!

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

I'm glad you found it all the way form TikTok :)

[@jackericson5068]

Thank for this so much my teacher showed my class this and I was kind of skeptical about at first but after watching it a few times and listening very closely to every word I find this very inspirational and touching for me, I definitely want to thank you for this!👍

[@AdamRoaOfficial]

so glad the poem might it's way into your class. thank you