An ADHD Guide to Emotional Dysregulation and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (w/ William Dodson, M.D.)

People with ADHD feel emotions more intensely, more frequently, and more suddenly. In fact, one third of adults with ADHD say emotional dysregulation is the most impairing aspect of their ADHD, adversely affecting work performance and personal relationships.
Among the biggest emotional challenges facing adults with ADHD is rejection sensitive dysphoria, an extreme sensitivity to criticism and judgment that seems to exist only in those diagnosed with the disorder. In this hour-long webinar replay, learn about emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitive dysphoria with William Dodson, M.D.
Download the slides associated with this webinar here:
www.additudemag.com/webinar/e...
1:38 ADHD Diagnostic Criteria
4:01 Why Should We Care?
6:47 Emotional Regulation
16:37 What is Rejection Sensitivity?
22:35 How Do People Protect Against RSD?
24:28 Alpha Agonist Medications
29:32 Summary
Related Resources
1. Read: How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
www.additudemag.com/rejection...
2. Download: ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
www.additudemag.com/download/...
3. Quiz: Could You Have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
www.additudemag.com/rejection...
4. How to Distinguish ADHD’s Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) from Bipolar Disorder
www.additudemag.com/adhd-reje...
5. Q: Bipolar Meltdown? Or Rejection Sensitivity Meltdown?
www.additudemag.com/adhd-reje...
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[@bonniejohnstone]

I’m 74 and was just diagnosed with ADHD… finally… decided to go to a psychiatrist because I am tired of self blame and avoiding people. It’s never to late for help and to undo self loathing for what I couldn’t control.

[@julianawilson7245]

Just diagnosed at age 70. I have been in and out of therapy for decades for the same issues and more. I began a stimulant med two weeks ago. I cannot begin to explain the vast improvement in my emotional state and life in general. I no longer judge myself for perceived failures. Therapy laid the groundwork for that shift but diagnosis and meds made my emotional shift possible.

[@Ihaveaquestion.]

oh my goodness! I'm 50 and prediagnosis, I'm doing a podcast of my journey and I would love to talk to you if you're interested

[@Ihaveaquestion.]

@@julianawilson7245 Hi! I'm so sorry that you're only finding this out now puts my situation in perspective being 50. I am not diagnosed yet but I'm doing a podcast of my journey and I would love to talk to you about your experience. Let me know if you're interested

[@GenRN]

You are in the right place. Hugs.

[@kebabfoto]

I wish you the best, I really do

[@minuswings]

I think the best way to describe my RSD is to say that recently someone pointed out what they THOUGHT was a typo (it wasn't even an actual typo) in a sentence I typed, and I immediately felt so deeply ashamed of my 'mistake' and their opinion of it that I truly felt I'd rather be dead. When he says people who experience it call it unbearable, I think that's why. The feeling is so overpowering that you want to crawl out of your own skin and not exist.

[@synthster7416]

I've experienced a similar thing and felt crazy for it. Someone had misunderstood something I'd said and was shocked about it, after I corrected them they understood but I felt awful knowing they thought even for a second I'd say that.

[@emma8634]

This is why relationships are soooo hard, like someone points out something marginally unproductive or negative that I do and I literally feel like I don't deserve to live; normally coupled with some sort of meltdown at my own "stupidness" and body wracking sobs. It's unreal 😢

[@2katkitty]

OMG!! It took until my 40's to be diagnosed with ADHD inattentive subtype and now this. So much of my childhood, adolescence and adult behavior makes sense all of a sudden. In my 50's now and I'm just unwrapping what I do with all this.

[@lauraestes9304]

Check out the Medical medium channel on here ...anthony Williams. He explains a lot of this and how to heal it naturally.

[@derAtze]

@@lauraestes9304 oh no, be careful with him. All guru type ahd miracle "healers" can be very dangerous in creating dependencies

[@whatever3145]

@@derAtze but rx speed also creates dependencies

[@whatever3145]

@@derAtze not defending gurus tho

[@thehighpriestess8431]

The Medical Medium has some quack ideas

[@lindsaymarin2772]

It just blows my mind how someone can know so much about my experience without having the condition themselves. And what it means is that this was all out of pure dedication and I'm frankly pretty moved by that but it could be my dysregulation also but anywho. Thank heavens for people like this.

[@knowingdawn]

I think part of the reason we have des and rsd is that we feel everything so deeply, and pain is REALLY painful. Of course we do everything we can to avoid that, like shutting down, self-medicating, etc. When you feel like your soul is literally being ripped apart, it's traumatic as hell. Maybe that's just me.

[@knowingdawn]

And that's a great point regarding dedication. What a blessing it is that he does this. I'm in my 40s and utterly disastrous at life. I see successful ADHD women everywhere, so I feel like an utter failure. He gives me hope.

[@lindsaymarin2772]

@@knowingdawn same. Hugs.

[@kihntagious]

@@knowingdawn Not just you , most of us, we are not alone

[@lindsaymarin2772]

@@fancynancylucille I don't even know where to begin with this so I'll just pass

[@akos1569]

Decades ago, I thought I made lifelong friends at college. I was crushed for years when I was “ghosted” after graduation. My brother helped me realize that people move on. RSD explained why the feelings were so intense and why I reacted with people pleasing, perfectionism, etc.

[@Superbloomvintage]

I can totally relate to these situations and feelings.

[@ranc1977]

Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (when criticism hurts) - Being easily embarrassed - Heightened fear of failure - Unrealistically high expectations for self - Assuming people don't like you - Avoiding social settings - Perfectionistic tendencies

[@noormohamad1]

I just learned about this. I am 56. Is me to a T. I started a career recently, which is triggering me.

[@ranc1977]

​@@noormohamad1 WE all have been misdiagnosed and given wrong explanation what we feel and what we can do about it. There is huge damage done to our life, personality, choices, decisions in life due to wrong advice and heavy gaslighting. Even now CBT is still been promoted as therapy after all the damage done. Humanistic psychology is as old as CBT - yet someone in medical industry decided to make money on our trauma and neurosis by shoveling us lobotomy intended for criminally insane (ABC method).

[@user-ib2bt4ck7y]

I was diagnosed this year finally at 25. I had SEVERE rsd when I was a child, and would lash out, scream, and hid from teachers at school of they ever embarassed me in any way. I JUST found out from my mother that every single elementary school I had ever gone to told her to put me on ADHD medication and to take me to a professional to be evaluated, and she refused to. I went 25 years feeling like a complete alien, like there was something incredibly wrong with me and different about me and I didn't know what it was until a few years ago. I have so many blanks in my memory about how elementary school was for me, but I can recall soo many instances where I clearly and blatantly was neurodivergent. Now I literally have trauma responses when I'm in class at my college and I still have nightmares about teachers 🙃 😅 What a terribly difficult condition especially when you're not diagnosed or grow up in an abusive and chaotic home.

[@stevesketches]

Exact same story here. 33 now and finally coming to grips with this.

[@zuhal2264]

The problem is that as soon as one admits to having had a problematic upbringing, all of the symptoms will be associated with this part of one’s life only. I was diagnosed with so many different conditions like depression, social anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder, etc. And now, at the ripe age of 36, I’m finally getting the help I need. I’m glad your symptoms were recognised as actually being adhd, all the best for your journey!

[@slowlyworkingthingsout]

​@@zuhal2264 I think, more often than not, depression/anxiety is the symptom and not the disorder. If you're looking at the wrong problem, you're getting the wrong solution, in my mind.

[@zuhal2264]

@@slowlyworkingthingsout oh, definitely. My depression and anxiety at that point in my life were absolutely real, but only secondary disorders to or consequences of ADHD. Unfortunately, nobody cared for the bigger picture behind those symptoms. This happens to a large number of patients, I’m afraid.

[@knowingdawn]

I think part of the reason we have des and rsd is that we feel everything so deeply, and pain is REALLY painful. Of course we do everything we can to avoid that, like shutting down, self-medicating, etc. When you feel like your soul is literally being ripped apart, it's traumatic as hell. Maybe that's just me.

[@rachelgilbert3164]

It’s definitely not just you! 💚💙💜

[@battfamily435]

I wad like this and think it's also due to childhood trauma. Dr. Gabor Mate believes strongly adhd is a response to trauma. He's top Canadian psychologist who's mother was a holocaust survivor in Romania. He and husband kids all have adhd. Search him.

[@knowingdawn]

@Batt Family I am vaguely familiar with Gabor Mate. Since I posted this, I have come to believe the same thing. It was something my therapist said when I told him the idea I posted here. He said it could be the reason we feel everything so deeply is because we know what these things feel like through experience. I told him that I've been hyper sensitive since I was very small so that didn't make sense to me, but he reminded me that he believes in past lives, so it still tracks. 😉

[@knowingdawn]

@@mmss3199 I hear you, my friend. ❤

[@knowingdawn]

@@rachelgilbert3164 Thank you, Rachel. I'm beginning to see that now. 💛

[@LissaRae23]

I so so badly just want to have a normal conversation with my husband. Anytime he tries to talk about real life shit....I end up feeling like I've failed and become completely unhinged. Which has caused him to shut down and not even try to talk with me. Even though I so so badly want to be able to conversate with him without losing control.

[@capgains]

I’m sry. I experience similar with adhd. When I have the space I explain myself to my spouse so she understands what I’m really trying to do is have progressive conversations. She understands but this doesn’t come without consequences - shutting down

[@salparadise1220]

Diagnosed aged 56. I grew up in a household where my emotions were reflected back to me as unacceptable; were periodically the cause of shouting and punishments; my mother was rather neurotic and terrified of "what people might think", so I got slapped down, often physically, a lot. The first proper school I went to was a "Prep School", where they hit me with a running shoe every time I got too much wrong in tests, answered back, was caught playing in a silly fashion, etc. Most of this was already very familiar to me buy the time I was 5. The upshot of all this is that I learned not to show emotions. To deal cautiously with all around me, in fear of violence or being the sudden centre of unwanted attention. One teacher said to me, "I'll say this for you. You take your punishment well." In other words, no matter how they hit me, not so much as a sound escaped my lips. I recognised where the power lay and it wasn't with me, but I wasn't going to let them see my pain or humiliation. So, inner emotional storms are very common. Wild emotional rollercoaster type inner experience - no control at all. Can be busy doing something I love and be feeling happy and content, and the trapdoor opens beneath my feet and down I plunge into bleak gloom. RSD is a big thing in my life. And I do seem to pick relationships where I get a lot of rejection. (Trying to recreate that first experience in the hope it works out differently this time, I suppose.) But I learned to keep it all inside, because it was the safest way to be.

[@Kali_Yugahhhh]

This planet is just.... terrible (at the moment). 💗

[@selintekten8627]

This video have simply explained my whole life. I can not find the words to tell how much it freed me

[@pamelaq683]

I have memories of being 3-4, hiding in a closet with a pair of scissors, scratching at my arm after my mom disciplined me verbally for something. My hurt was so extreme, i wanted my body to physically show how deep my pain was. Nobody ever knew. My sister, hyperactive and impulsive, was diagnosed with ADHD young. Me, quiet, anxious, distracted, 'lazy' just got diagnosed at 39. There's so much that makes sense now, especially because my presentation was so radically different from my sister's. I'm grateful I can love that little girl who wasn't too sensitive or ill, she was just different.

[@Pleiadian_Peacock_Prophetess]

I used to do this for the same reasons. My dad didn’t do corporal punishment and I felt I needed that.

[@stephaniec9355]

This was the most informative talk on ADHD that I’ve EVER seen! Wow!

[@ashajeremiahqw8775]

I think this is why most of my relationships fail I don’t want to self diagnose myself but there needs to be a change for MYSELF

[@spencerantoniomarlen-starr3069]

I am 28 years old, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in the 1st or 2nd grade, but I never learned about RSD until a few years ago. I have never had a second date, never had a girlfriend, and have only gotten laid once. The RSD is without a doubt the worst aspect of my ADHD!

[@carleighmiller542]

This took my breath away when I learned about RSD. I had no idea what was wrong with me. My emotions are relentless. The pain of my emotions is physical just like you said. It hurts to your core. Thank you for bringing awareness to this!

[@Mcmeggers]

I’m a people pleaser and have turned to substances to calm my brain . If I’m stoned I don’t think about not being good enough

[@angelicangelique5255]

How are you doing now ?

[@MsCaryopteris]

My last job had an open concept floor plan so you could hear others yelling into their phones on speaker phones. There were people coming and going, talking very loud, huge windows allowing trucks and landscaping equipment to be heard. It was bedlam to me. Now I have a job that is much quieter and I’m enjoying hyperfocusing on spreadsheets and doing data entry. Much better.

[@Flamamacue]

The idea of having my back to a door in an open office makes me freeze up. Need solitude and my own space

[@JoanDoris1]

I was moved from my nice secluded desk out into the middle of the floor, where I could hear all the noise from the lunch room and noise from offices and other desks surrounding me. At another office, people were allowed to play their radios. Someone in an office across from my desk had her radio on, and the person sitting next to me had her radio on, plus there was other noise. Now the librarians at my public library are so noisy, which causes other patrons in the library to talk loudly. Most times I feel like just staying home, where I can control my environment more. I wish this wasn't so.

[@jeez31]

The comment about people with ADHD growing up not being able to trust themselves really resonated with me. I am my own worst enemy

[@AbdullaHernandez]

This is 💯 % on the mark. Just diagnosed at 36 years old after a lifetime of listening to people like Jordan Peterson and suffering as a result. Also, If I'm not looking at the video, i feel like I'm listening to Alex Jones where he chose to be a medical doctor instead of whatever Alex Jones is.

[@varnishyourboard]

Haven't had a job or relationship in my entire life (46) that didn't "fall in my lap" because I'm entirely too afraid of the "ego death" that rejection brings. What a horrible way to live and after trying Adderall and almost every anti-depressant, I'm currently taking guanfacine. I'm still REALLY struggling to apply for a job and no one around me understands why.

[@wildwillie419]

Many thanks to Dr. Dodson for describing the core experiences of ADHD that have been completely overlooked by the medical community.

[@AK-bw5xv]

As a firefighter, an outpatient mental health practitioner, and, I emphasize reluctantly diagnosed person with ADHD (combined type), I find myself supremely struck by how much I'm nodding my head here. I was formally trained in many specific and eclectic concepts in psychological counseling (I got my B.A. the HARD way). Yet nothing in my clinical or academic training clicked like this. I mean, my God, this was by far the most personally resonating (and I hope, effective) powerpoint presentation I've ever seen. To put it simply, wow did that ever make sense! I may not be the most faithful person, but I do sincerely pray that further research will explore this profoundly impactful and suspiciously underevaluated, yet conspicuously fruitful aspect of adults who live with the ADHD brain. (And, yes, I'm acutely aware of how my adderall, and my life experiences have combined to produce the dissertation of a comment I've put down here...😔) THANK YOU, AND KEEP IT COMING!

[@battfamily435]

Dr. Gabor Mate believes trauma plays a huge role in ADHD. Worth it to hear him out. He and his children all have been diagnosed.

[@TheJasmintee]

Trauma is not a cause of adhd and Gabor maté has very problematic views on this. Adhd is present at birth. It’s genetic. Not developed

[@ranc1977]

@@TheJasmintee RSD is not connected to ADHD exclusively. RSD information will change current psychiatry - it is revolution. Pharma mafia will no longer make money profit on victims of abuse. There are millions of people who are misdiagnosed with unrelated disorders while in reality they suffer from RSD. CBT is doing incredible damage due to hyper-cognition (quick labeling) with social anxiety "solutions" - CBT is creating personality disorders in those who seek answers for social anxiety mixed with RSD. Gabor Mate is worth to listen to, he is laser sharp correct and true.

[@katherineleehellsten9205]

​@@TheJasmintee It's been linked to both genetic and environmental factors (mostly genetic, though symptoms may also be influenced by environment through modelled behaviour/coping of parents with ADHD - remember how the dx criteria are behaviour based) but a true cause has not been identified.

[@nataliebutler]

​​@@TheJasminteegenes are a predisposition, trauma is the trigger. Trauma might be different to what you imagine, for example separation from the mother at a young age, even time in an incubator after birth, could be enough.

[@jasfra]

I believe intergenerational trauma, emotional neglect ( through no fault of the parents) and Narcissistic abuse in childhood are environmental factors that trigger Adhd in childhood. A child who approaches their mother for emotional support and us repeatedly told 'I wish I never had children. I could walk out that door and never come back' and the parent never repairs with the child - no surprise that child grows up to be an adult with RSD and emotional flashbacks. It is helpful to learn here of the role of oestrogen and how it can exacerbate perimenopause symptoms for women.

[@simonlewis3685]

RSD and emotional disregulation have only become known to me as of a few months ago and it’s really changing my life view, being someone intensely struggling with ADHD. With this video, I’m worrying about figuring out how to cope with these issues I’ve had my whole life, given the complete lack of research and treatment options. I’m only 23 and I’ve had multiple times in the past few years where I feel like I should just give up trying to make friends or connect with people because its so hard, I feel “I just don’t get it”, and I feel rejected without even being explicitly rejected. Though with this new perspective of something to focus on, I feel some hope about how to function and live life without a constant struggle.

[@paperKat]

At least you know where you are and all the big things are in front of you. You have a great chance to have a better life and form great relationships. For someone who is already 15 years in to marriage, and 8 years in to motherhood finding out that I have ADD and RSD explains a lot, but it can’t revered the damage I have done. Hard to take, but again like you I now get my chance to make things better.

[@nancybartley4610]

I hear you. I just don't know where we fit in or how to cope. We are different. I do think this is related to childhood emotional neglect. Have you researched CEN? I believe we desperately need to connect because we never received from our mothers what we need to function in the world. We are still trying to get our needs met and no one is able to do this for us. Attachment Theory also is important to this topic.

[@EdilySid]

Just want to send some love. I don't get it either. Sounds like you're trying. Much kudos for trying!!! That takes resilience!

[@EdilySid]

​@@nancybartley4610sounds like youve research attachment. What has helped you cope with needing connection when it's hard to find?

[@liz93419]

My therapist said that rsd is not real. I didn't go back.

[@Ihaveaquestion.]

I'm 50 and just figuring out I most likely have inattentive type. It seems to me whenever anyone uses the phrase hit me like a ton of bricks that they might be talking about this. It's like a blast coming at you that would strip all your clothes off and leave you drained. For Sonic Hedgehog where you hit something and the Rings go everywhere and you're at zero. For spoonies it's like doesn't matter how many you had that day and you're immediately at zero. From Best Day Ever to all you can do is lay down. A bodily physical sensation.

[@user-eq6cb8rf2h]

I was diagnosed with ADHD (hyper type) this year, I am female, but I find it interesting that I was told I was a strong willed child and disciplined like one. I really wish I would of known, and my parents would of known. I feel like I am just now starting my life.

[@derAtze]

People with adhd have to cope with a lot more struggles and stressors, so they typically build up loads and loads of coping mechanisms that make them seem "strong willed" from the outside, but they only hide the fragility and chaos that happens on the inside.

[@pennycressall7502]

When he talked about the factor of trauma and how the familiarity was very close to adhd. I remember hearing another psychologist speak about how kids with ADHD are reprimanded 20,000 more times than neurological children, so how could that not have been traumatic? So in essence I think everyone who has it needs trauma therapy as well

[@sonja7halcyon]

In relation to medication for RSD; I haven't tried the alpha-agonists yet, I've only recently been diagnosed and still trying to find the right stimulant for me. But I also live with chronic pain (fibromyalgia which is a common co-occurance with adhd by 44%) and I have found that my RSD gets turned down when I'm on anti-inflammatories and even more so with Codeine. So for me that indicates that there may be a connection between RSD and the perception of pain in the nervous system, or at least that when an episode of RSD is triggered the pain killers prevent me from feeling that overwhelming pain associated with it. Another thing, the screener Mr. Dodson uses to try to differentiate between ADHD and Bi-polar in children by asking the parents if they're afraid of their child, is not really the best screener considering not all parents are sane themselves. My mother is an extremely fearful and paranoid person with, in my eyes, a few undiagnosed conditions herself. High levels of shame and denial prevent her from being able to see and acknowledge her own shortcomings. She told me once before that she was afraid that I was going to burn the house down when the family were all asleep. I laughed. The catastrophic stories she comes out with are unhinged and are no indication of the reality of whether I'm a real threat to anyone. I do think there is a lack of conversation around trauma and it's effects on the nervous system. An episode of fight-flight(rage)/shutdown(depression) following an incident that triggered abandonment trauma can look exactly like an episode of RSD. Additionally, if you have abandonment trauma (can be as simple as getting lost in the shopping centre when you were 2yrs old - because everything that happens to you from 0-7yrs is automatically interpreted through the young psyche as a personal attack whether it is or not) then you're forever set up to be hypersensitive to any form of rejection; as all rejections are essentially micro-abandonments. I'd love to know how to distinguish between RSD and abandonment trauma. Maybe they're the same? The most influential abandonment experiences happen within the first few months and years of a persons life and are barely cognisant or memmorable in any visual way. But the body and nervous system remembers, especially during the early non-verbal period. Triggers to non-verbal trauma experienced as an adult are the most painful because we feel it, without words to describe it, in our whole body just like we did when we were a little helpless baby or young child.

[@alau2058]

Very well said. Thank you.

[@blankczechz]

2023 I'm 59 years old. This talk hits on so many points it's unreal. I was 40 before I had a diagnosis of ADHD. 20 years later this is the first time I have heard this component given a name. I was prescribed clonidine for blood pressure and noticed the change in temperament in just a few days. It lowered my adrenal response so I didn't "ramp up" as fast. Regardless, it is nothing less than a tragic that there are still so few answers. My father was a literal genius who was loving, witty, and charming. He smoked and drank himself to death, and died at age 61 because there were no answers for him.

[@EclecticWizard6]

Just diagnosed at 33 and have been struggling to find medication or a therapist to work with. This video explains so much of why I have held myself back in life from relationships, socializing, and pursuing goals due to rejection sensitivity and the chronic low self esteem that comes with ADHD. The most helpful thing so far has been educating myself with this and other KZbin videos. Helps to take some of the blame off knowing these are real symptoms and how many other people struggle with them.

[@JP-yj3qd]

This is a great talk. I definitely have rejection sensitivity with my adhd. Makes relationships extremely difficult

[@through.a.barrel.she.breathes]

My emotions are relentless. The pain of my emotions is physical just like you said. It hurts to your core.

[@caryn8155]

I've never heard anything that has made me feel so seen-- the gut punch of rejection, the perfectionism/overachiever compensation.

[@katyjohnston7408]

I was brought to tears watching this. I felt so seen. I feel like I blamed or looked down on myself for things that I didn't know I needed to manage. I was diagnosed...ish... as a child and was just given medication. This knowledge is much more powerful. The meds don't hurt though.

[@jamie.777]

I 😢 agree. Same for me. Adhd has ripped my heart apart emotionally

[@JordynLaRee]

I wanted to say something about the having “too high expectations” for ourselves. Part of the reason I am so hard on myself is because I feel like I’m constantly being critiqued so I try so hard to be perfect even if deep down I know it’s impossible to be perfect. Most of the things I’ve accomplished in my life have only been done because of the fear of being criticized if I didn’t do it. That’s how bad it is. my main motivation for doing things is knowing if I don’t do it I’ll get grief from another person. The need to please people so you don’t upset them has always been a huge thing as well.

[@alicesantunione9005]

ADHD is such a complex neurodiversity and need more studies and specialised therapies as well as awareness in the workplaces. On emotional regulation, parents are very likely to have ADHD and if they are unaware they literally teach you negative coping strategies to emotional management. In my experience I am aware of my inappropriate reactions to some situations and this cause me guilt afterward, but I can't control the burst as it happens suddenly as described in the talk almost a physical urge. I compare it with the autistic "meltdown" to a trigger. On a positive note, more aware you are of the fact that you are not your emotions and more you learn your triggers, better you will become in mastering your explosions. Also being diagnosed helps understanding that you aren't a bad employee or family member and reduce the negative self judgement. Lastly to everyone with ADHD out there, surround yourself with a positive environment (work/family/social group), so you may not be so exposed to stressors and you may have an emotional cry instead an outburst of hunger ;)

[@Asma-ul7fl]

Do you think not having an in person support (maybe finding it online), can be effective ? Also thank you for the advices dear

[@SB_McCollum]

These two talks of his have opened a little sluice gate for me, I think I might finally be able to drain the family slough of despond that I've been trying to deconstruct for the last 10 years. No on in this town treats adult adhd, I'm just out here figuring it out on my lonesome. Thank you, Dr. Dodson, for one more piece of the puzzle.

[@karendalsadik7119]

I agree. I ‘ve done all the roles but now I’m 61 and now I avoid people, places and things.

[@lesligrant2166]

I agree, I had no idea I might be ADHD. I'm 75 but the relief to hear Dr Dodson's perspective which is much more empathic and kind. I'm feeling so much more hopeful. He highlights the advantages which include amazing problem solving ability and creativity with some of us. I will create my own manual for myself to help me with focus. The emotional dysregulation is more of a challenge. I think start by avoiding situations which are provoking. Have friends who are peaceful and negotiate. That is a beginning. Knowing about the inner judgement is helpful, if I'm more conscious its a reaction, I just know I'm going to be able to excuse myself and go somewhere private, say, oops, that really pressed my buttons. There are warnings, rising emotion. Pausing, saying a prayer for help. Hopefully the You Tube videos might help now. Good on you for tacking this. There are so many of us out here. You are not alone.

[@ttul]

Studying the emotional side is so crucial. RSD is super easy to pinpoint, particularly in people with inattentive subtype.

[@GaillTullyMidwife]

Really, it’s easy to identify? This is blowing my mind.

[@therealist2000]

Doesn’t matter what type there’s no number to indicate what type is affected by it the most.

[@Michellee0122]

This video is an answered prayer, thank You God ! Wonderful interview!! This has helped soo very much for me and for me to help support my child. Knowing someone is out there who truly, truly understands.. is amazing. And when the question was asked about managing well in life without medication therapy, 55:25 The response Dr. Dodson gave hit me hard.. completely stopping me in my tracks. I felt like he witnessed my whole life and explained it to me. Powerful stuff. Dear Dr. Dodson, if you ever see this post, I thank God I found this video and I thank God for you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the work you are doing. I have been searching to educate myself more and to find outlets on how to help support my child. This video did just that and more. This one hour interview explained soo much of what I experienced in life but did not understand and it finally made sense which essentially helped heal a part of me. Thank you, and may God bless you!

[@addicted2mako]

I was diagnosed as a toddler, but even in my mid thirties I’m learning new things about it. The RSD/ emotional regulation issues were a major revelation and made me feel like I wasn’t just overly sensitive and dramatic

[@teachertash2353]

I am turning 40 this year and recently realised that I could have ADHD. This after getting into trouble at work regarding poor performance on my executive functions - go figure, right! These webinars have been so helpful in helping me understand myself. Sadly here in South Africa this is such an abnormal topic for adults and carries a stigma for kids. There are hardly any physicians who understand ADHD in adults especially in the public sector and one that was recommended costs about $185 or R3500 for a session which leaves me so helpless and struggling. I might loose my teaching job and I am struggling with online studding and bills are in shambles. Whilst all this is great, I am so alone. Family and friends think I am being just extra as I always have been and I shouldn't take all this ADHD thing to heart. Just set some goals and go for them. I am going through a divorce with 2 kids who might also have ADHD by the way. Living at my sister's house who says I should "wake up and smell the coffee"! I just don't know 😢

[@cbtam4333]

I’ve always said, it’s an expensive condition to have, in terms of the symptoms as well as the treatment. Keep reading and educating yourself about it. Recommended books may also help with practical strategies. My prayers for you and your family.

[@Flamamacue]

As a 31yo that was very very almost diagnosed as a child and now realising exactly how much I struggle with it, it was certainly odd hearing the 31yo as the average age and makes me think it's time to take action on getting a diagnosis

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

I think this is great info.....I-think-that my partner has ADHD and RSD. He lacks time management, loses things, procrastinates, over thinks, over talks and is an obsessive perfectionist. But he is not hyperactive. Doesn’t fidget. Can blurt out things & interrupt -at times - but CAN often be a good listener. He CAN focus and he isn’t distracted -once on task. He sometimes is hyper-focused and sometimes spacy. He is overly sensitive-gets his feelings hurt so easily. For this reason I think he probably also has RSD. He is easily embarrassed. Gets angry or has an emotional outburst when he feels like someone has ‘disrespected’ him. He sets high standards for himself and when he can’t meet them he gets very discouraged with himself. He can make an issue out of the slightest thing and I keep telling him that everything can’t be a thing! I say let this GO it’s not worth obsessing about.

[@Atclav]

I'm sorry be we are not married LOL. You just describe me. I take Strattera and Guanfacine. I may try other drugs because executive function is not engaging.

[@lisafeck1537]

11:42 ish. The description of the corpus striatum, it functions to inhibit The discrimination of driving was masterful and hilarious. Did anyone else catch after slamming brakes, swerving then - questioning parentage? I laughed out loud. Was picturing the entie scenario, and so true in many cases. Dr Dodson has a great sense of humor.

[@alexagracehopewell5988]

Thank you for this video. This has always been on my mind and I’m always searching for answers. Now I have found it. I’m there. Emotional dysregulation. From early and prolonged childhood trauma by my parents. I was afraid of people as a child. My father was authoritarian and believed in corporal punishment at an early age. And I was full of rage when my parents were not yet home. Always depressed and suicidal. Never remember being happy. Being me, feeling feelings all day was terrible. Always fear of school or fear of parents. Father brought me up to be a girl scout and not expect to be paid or rewarded for doing chores or doing things right. I should just see what needs to be done and help. Anyway, I was maltreated out of earshot or view. My mother is a Korean War bride. She was screaming and throwing things. She was screaming all the time and throwing up every night. Anyway, just went through not having any meds due to shortage of adderall and was given a different manufacturer 3 weeks later that made my tongue swell painfully. After a month I was so emotionally unstable I was crying and angry at the pharmacy and insurance agency. And I feel stigmatized.

[@joshcook2872]

Bless you, I hope you can get the right meds that help you alexa. I can relate to some of your story, I wish you happiness and peace. One love sister

[@alexagracehopewell5988]

@@joshcook2872 Bless your heart for posting your reply. I hope you have many moments of joy in your life. I am trying Concerta. It took a little while to kick in because I was taking adderall generic and never tried methylphenidate. At first I felt unstable and sleepy but after two weeks it started to make me feel grounded. I can function much better. Thank you for caring. Even with the medication I have to talk to my brain and tell myself what I need to accomplish that day. I try to push myself to help take care of my elderly parents and have bridged many gaps and it is bittersweet.

[@joshcook2872]

Glad to hear alexa your functioning better. Im the same Im always talking to myself about what i need to do etc jumping from one thing to the next. God bless and best wishes from the UK.

[@420gzuz]

thank you Dr. for finding the words that don't come easily to describe this life experience from a firsthand perspective. Thanks for shedding additional light on the various layers of challenge which stand between these very real and impactful conditions and their universal recognition.

[@ianhendrytube]

Thanks for this info! answered alot of unanswered questions for me!

[@bobbybushwhacker]

The best cure for this is to love yourself, and forgive yourself. Stay present and dont beat yourself up when it happens. Just see it, recognize it, apologize to whoever you may need too, and move on. Be happy, by loving yourself. You can live with this without labeling yourself and expecting everyone else to act differently when around you.

[@bobbybushwhacker]

We're apologizing for how we acted when under the influence of our emotions and RSD. I forgive myself for the ways ive acted to protect myself. I didn't know where it was coming from and now I do. I do not hate myself anymore, I want to be nicer and live with it.

[@crookedcarpet]

in regard to rejection sensitivity. after my first breakup at 17, i was so devastated that it took me years to get over and made me avoid dating throughout college. its made me avoid relationships and getting close to people, caused commitment issues.

[@happybubblemanfan]

Medication!! We need more research in this area. Behavior techniques are not a cure.

[@smylulula]

It is very informative! Thank you!

[@2brunhilda]

Very informative. Thank You.

[@aliciamartinez3883]

Wowwweee ..... me diagnosticaron a los 66 años . Muy bien explicado , gracias

[@daniellec2172]

I cannot believe how incredibly relieving validating and freeing this is to hear. It explains everything for me - why I have been unable to control crying in situations that are stressful for me but which subjectively and objectively, should not cause crying. So much misdiagnosis I'm 40 now and only diagnosed a week ago. What could my life have been if it had been detected earlier.

[@emmoogan2309]

Same. Hoping to get diagnosed very soon

[@eyab7610]

Dr Dodson is awesome!

[@rijd2304]

Mindfulness meditation was a game changer for me. The book "30 Days to Overcome Rejection" by Daniels was a good starting guide for me.

[@paulleahy155]

Brilliant, I love this man!

[@ejodell1]

This is one of the best videos I have ever seen on ADHD & emotional dysregulation! it has explained so many things to me that years and years of therapy have just not put together!

[@marianwhitcomb7518]

I am in my 60s and sooo weary of this combined with dyslexia, Sjogren's, and fibromyalgia. On RSD, I did SO well with the isolation of COVID, that I have stayed in control of my contact with people...a few, yes, but I moved to Canada and go to town once a week. Happier than I have ever been. But yeah, I wither inside, and get suicidal, so just stay away from people and committments with them as much as possible. Thechnology is killing me...passwords, updates, things moving on screens, the internet is no longer the wonderful tool it used to be, but herds us, shoves things we can't resist buying down our throats, etc. I don't know what I am going to do...no way to ditch it when even the IRS makes you petition for permission to file using paper. I hate the way the world is going....

[@spicyskyraisin7745]

Brilliant !!! Thank you ❤

[@janelmiller5935]

thank you so much for this info, I learned a lot here

[@richardmarshall159]

Thank you, you the man Doc!👍

[@FreakingFerret]

The only way I can describe it is feeling like someone shoved their hand through my chest and ripped my heart out, while the rest of my face is starting to catch fire, my body feels heavy, and my stomach is turning into snakes. My eyes start to burn because I can’t help but start to cry, I feel shaken, and sick. I can’t stop myself from spitting out anything and everything that may be hurtful, even if it’s something beyond crossing the line. I hate it so much. I just want to be nicer.

[@johnbuckaru]

Going on 76, feeling great physically, and know how to act as if everything is great mentally and emotionally. Even after decades of recovery/support meetings/programs, professional therapy there is always another layer to peel. In the process of looking for therapist to deal with ADHD and the rest of the blessings mentioned in this video. ❤️🙏🏻

[@MH-kv1ty]

The best. Makes sense on so many levels of an adhd personality

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

This starts out with a bang‼️ when he says the criteria was not developed for you and me and focuses on behaviors! (behaviors that bother others) Adhd was once looked at as a behavioral disorder and still many people think of it that way

[@Boutys_mom]

Did he even know the woman he was attacking? By the way Sam, you are a hero! Thank you for helping the woman being attacked. You put yourself in harms way, to do the right thing!

[@paolatejada9427]

Good bless you William I wish i could have a doctor like you

[@braylenlandkey]

38:20 treatment -Cleveland Ohio ADHD clinic best ADHD therapy, they dropped every other therapies but ACT therapy. ACT therapy was originally developed for the treatment of anxiety disorders. 3rd generation of cognitive behavioral program primarily for anxiety disorders. However the Cleveland clinic has modified it for the treatment of ADHD. Okay I need to look into what is this ACT therapy...

[@Chadao1]

I'm in my early seventies and just got diagnosed this year. Pretty amazing stuff

[@OrthodoxInquirer]

Ironically, I've been dismissed by 2 pediatricians and a primary care physician. I think it stemmed from CPTSD from my Father's death when I was a child. He was dying for several years so I lost a lot of trust in medical professionals. I saw mistakes with my own eyes. I also had ADHD undiagnosed, was gifted, so I would research medical topics and doubt whether doctors were taking enough care in their decision making, etc. I also was diagnosed with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder and taking Slynd has changed my life. Once I looked back on my big freak outs that would get me dismissed, I realized my period would start within a day or 2. I definitely have experienced this rejection sensitivity because after dismissal, I would cry for months. One doctor missed my son's Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis and he spent 3 days in ICU needlessly (if he hadn't ignored my concerns it would have been caught). I was boardering on suicidal over that dismissal. I literally thought I had BPD because I had so many of the symptoms. Other people would be so angry and suing the doctor, but I was hurt because he dismissed me because he *thought* I would sue. I did the DBT 911 app and that helped some. The Jesus Prayer and Orthodoxy really saved me. It fixed my erroneous thinking permanently, I hope! Forgiving everyone and not just praying for them, but praying that their prayers will save my soul - idea from Nun Katherine Weston - helped me so much. I also reassessed my beliefs about death and illness being bad. I realized that God can use these bad experiences and accepted that and decided to embrace whatever experiences He gives me as something potentially soul-saving. My priest's wife said that her sister's cancer had a silver lining in that the person gets really close to God and it burns away everything unimportant. Just her saying that really shifted my perspective in a way I can't explain about sickness and death. Hope this helps someone else!

[@bodesshowreel]

I'm on stimulants but not any other medications. The stimulants have helped with task focus and work-related activities, but have barely helped with RSD or emotional regulation difficulties. Dodson says that the patients have been unable to describe the quality of the feeling, only the quantity. I'd like to share my experience. I don't get RSD when criticised about the quality of my work, or art, or anything else I have produced. Where I do get deep RSD is when a romantic relationship ends, I struggle deeply for a lot longer than I see my peers struggle with similar break-ups. For me the RSD is grief, and grief is just love that's unable to be expressed. I have such a deep love for a person, even if the relationship has been on the rocks for a while, that when the breakup happens (in this case usually it would be when I get broken up with), I feel such a deep longing to show/give love to this other person, and I am them cut off from that opportunity. That love then has to stay inside and it starts to twist into pain and grief. It feels like a wound, and it's super hard to process. If it's clear the relationship is over, I want to redirect that love to someone else, but at the same time I've just had my romantic trust in someone deeply broken, so I'm scared to open that part of myself up to someone. So I get stuck in this grief and it just sits there. I try therapy and talking to friends and engaging in hobbies, and all of that plus time helps, but it definitely feels like it sticks around and gets stagnant- It worsens for a couple of months, it gets more painful. The grief-processing takes ages and is not linear. That's my experience of RSD. If it's not a breakup, if it's little moments within the relationship, then the prominent feeling is fear of losing the other person. The RSD hits me in the gut because I read it as a potential precursor to a break up, which makes me panic, because I have so much love to give, and I'm scared of losing that opportunity, and so on. (I also find it very tiring after a while, to have that quantity of emotion within me, and for it to not have anywhere to go).

[@TheOne-pn8bd]

Thanks

[@monaami555]

"No one likes being rejected or criticized". I have learned to hide those feelings deep inside, since I have learned that they are not acceptable to my surroundings. While others show negative emotions when being criticized, I am doing my best to keep poker face. And then agonize over it for years. I think what happens for me, is that another person's opinion of me is confused with my own opinion of myself, which directly threatens the ego, and causes something like self anihilation. It does feel as if being dead already was better than that slow dying. It is unbearable, because I am suddenly in the body of a person I despise, and I can't escape, and I cannot change myself, and I cannot change that other person's opinion of me to get out of this situation. I feel trapped, at the mercy of the person judging me, and then I realise that the trap is also time bound, so even if that person changes their mind in the future, it does not change the past, and that past will still have a hold of me, and that just can never be changed, you cannot rewrite the past. Each situation like that is a blow to the ego, and I think I do not recover after it. I just try to get by with less. I punish myself and lower my self worth to compensate for the dissonance. And keep away from situations where I could risk it happening again - this is how I survive, and those situations happen less and less often. But anything happens less and less often too... Shit and the major depression.. I made an overview of my depressive epizodes and rejection epizodes and there was almost 100% correlation. I would not see it if I did not make the list. Clear cause - effect.

[@tracyscott6187]

How do I find a practioner to treat me , this is so validating and made me feel hope for my future if there are Dr's that will try these medications

[@bardwessel4663]

Let's hope that mr. Dodson's hopefully field altering efforts will bring the obviously important changes that are needed. Not only have pieces been missing when it comes to the risk of presumed developement towards BPD and of eventual misdiagnoses, but also with what could in general involve related and hard to overcome personality issues that are possibly often related to adverse functionality of kinds that unneccessarily, alas, may lead to such issues overshadowing the actual ADHD. Let's not soon, when relating to such facts in particular, forget that even while most understands that new truths tends often to demand long paths both of computations and of comparences, not a little is until new proofs comes about left to the fact that faulty conclutions might be severily popular, and that placement of guilt tends to be a popular act. "Everyone can reach acceptance if they try, and adverse functionality is never an excuse," for instance, represent a contradiction not particularly easily overcome by us all. Says who? Well, "the one who in particular do not care" represents at least one very faulty claim to begin with, and I am truly greatfull for being established where counted errors seems at last truly pointlessly kept by oneself while others so splendidly assist one on that matter.

[@summerdgaffney]

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 38. I have yet to see a psychiatrist who has specialized knowledge of ADHD...by that I mean more specialized than the criteria listed in the DSM V. As this "new" emotion connection with ADHD has drawn more and more $$ support than research thereby reaching a wider audience I'm beginning to feel less shame around (what so many people in my life have called) my "OVERreactions", "dramatic" emotions.

[@eirini98]

I wish I could speak with this dude. He seems to understand ADHD as well anyone. Im so tired of having to be "productive" (whatever that means) when I'm struggling through each day. I like being alone because then I dont have people asking how much work I'm doing, if I'm married, etc.

[@barbaradouglas2283]

Am listening to this video message really closely & yes, this Dr. definitely hits the nail on the head!!! 👍Very accurate! Bang On! Would really like to find how to contact this Dr. see what he’d say to help me out! Wow! So, incredibly impressed! Someone below my comment has stated that this Dr. is describing their situation to the ‘T’. Can understand this person quite well.

[@fjtubie]

I am very grateful to have read Gabor Mate first. Understanding implicit memory has saved my present relationship. Now I have a name for this aspect. Early rejection leads to output of cortisol which inhibits the development of the right prefrontal cortex. Having this on top of the genetic part and you have the ADHD jackpot.

[@markdante5962]

I believe RSD bouts are linked to sympathetic drive i suffer these myself there is an instantaneous switch into this state as you said, my hypothesis would be that these medications act to modulate the hyper aroused sympathetic state causing sudden increase of blood pressure. also medication increasing noradrenaline may have a role in the switch.

[@angelicangelique5255]

The pain I have been suffering is indescribable 😢it’s so badly effected me that I suffer pain in my body and can’t hold my bladder, I think I’ve really been fighting depression I’m praying I can get through this I’m not feeling good at all, I really want to get through this and offer help and support to others going through this

[@richelle7211]

Instantly had tears in my eyeballs when he described rsd. My entire life. I hate it!

[@golkralifal]

Omg had to repeat it and go back every 3 minutes after the 13th minute because I was distracted. Help!

[@braylenlandkey]

Solutions to protect against RSD-rejection sensitivity dysphoria: Alpha agonist medications 24:25 Okay what is this?

[@EdilySid]

I mean no harm whatsoever. I'm here because my spouse and children have ADHD. It can be challenging as a spouse. Not that I'm by any means "perfect." We can't resolve things productively. For example, I try to share something I've been thinking about. I want to be heard as a person. He brings up something else. I say I need my message to be received. I'm the one who started talking, trying to share my thoughts. He shuts down, says I throw everything back in his face. I feel like it goes from 0 to 60 so fast. I agree that I 'throw' everything back in his face/criticize his response because I am trying to convey a message and it's not being received. I honestly try to resolve things peacefully. I try to ask how he wants me to respond. He decides he's just never going to talk to me. I feel like he's behaving immature, but I give him his space. I just feel like I'm not allowed to have needs in our relationship or allowed to be validated. Thoughts? Fine with whatever criticism. We've been married for 14 years, have 6 kids, and sometimes I just feel at a loss. It helps me so much to hear others experiences or points of view.

[@pennycressall7502]

Woe, in listening to the doctor answering questions, I am having a big aha regarding the emotional regulation and how estrogen can largely impair women young and old. When I first was prescribed birth control pills (I am 47 now/ perimenopausal) I experienced the "hell" he is describing others have. I went through a very bad experience of having my blood work done and nurse or medical assistant didn't inform me that my thyroid was very low ( under my dr.s supervision had been managing it with diet and iodine supplements) Anyway, 3-4 months of feeling "disregulated" beyond what I had experienced except for back in the birth control days. That's very insightful, but can't reverse the damage I did in relationships during the time it was too low 😢 doing my best to forgive myself and make it up to people that would hear me out and be open to letting me apologize and show different behavior 😢

[@ellemeno0]

Any research into occasional use of pain reliever such as tramadol for this?

[@guillaumeb6698]

I may be missing some nuances in the translation, does he say RSD is inate with ADHD ? Or can it develop overtime as a result of being constantly unvalidated when you have undiagnosed ADHD ?

[@Asma-ul7fl]

I believe (from what i understood and from my own experience) its inate , AND it develops/worsens overtime in case of undiagnosed ADHD and unawareness or inability to manage dysregulations

[@annak29]

10:50 2nd bullet point, use of "accept" is incorrect. Should be "except" meaning exclusion. 46:54 *Borderline Personality Disorder is what is meant, in response to audience question.

[@enolacarter4945]

How can I get real help in Jacksonville , fl? Any specialist hear that you know or recommend? Do you see adult patients

[@enolacarter4945]

Will you zoom appointment s please?.

[@demothenes1904]

This really speaks to me. I think I may go get tested.

[@thinkitthroughful]

It would have been good to from here describe how a diagnosis could discern between narcissism and adhd suffering rsd

[@MsCaryopteris]

I have a type of ADD that can’t benefit from stimulants. I can handle one cup coffee ok, but I can’t add even fending or ginkgo biloba or even dark chocolate. Can’t imagine cocaine. It speeds up my brain and makes me agitated and furious.

[@sarahsheets5958]

Exactly I don't have time till it's done then it's too late. Focalin has helped tremendously. Why would focalin specifically work and Adderall not it increases anxiety and feels speedy focalin feels normal but I haven't ever tried any meds in addition to and I feel shame about me so it's me and I can't fix cause it's ME

[@bellatoad]

Thankyou. :(

[@halfwen4575]

I'm AFAB, I was diagnosed at 6 years old.. but the NHS won't recognise it, they put me on a waiting list to get diagnosed again.. if I was bad enough to be diagnosed at 6yo in the mid 90s!!... ugh it frustrates me so much

[@juliesanders9353]

I wonder if the stimulant meds work because they're stimulating the inhibatory neurons. Also, RSD sounds like a sudden, heavy activation of either the freeze or fight stress responses. Maybe the meds help by activating the nervous system's dampeners via the corpus striatum. I've (unknowingly) struggled with adhd my entire life and was just recently diagnosed. I worked with a therapist on resolving past traumas and I was able to see how easily my nervous system was thrown into freeze or fawn (those are my two default stress responses) but I thought Iwas sensitive because of my trauma. It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I found out about RSD and now my sensitive nervous system makes so much sense. It's not my trauma that made me sensitive, it's that my nervous system makes it more likely for me to react to my environment in a traumatizing way.