ADHD Almost Destroyed Me, Here's How I Took Control

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In this video, I am going to talk about...
- The struggles of being diagnosed with ADHD
- The mindset shifts I made to help me through my struggles
- How I started to learn the difference between blame and responsibility in managing my ADHD
- How I learned to stop becoming a victim to ADHD and how best to ask for support
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Chapter Titles with Timestamps:
00:00 - The Struggle with ADHD: An Intro
00:19 - Shifting Mindsets: From Excuse to Explanation
02:24 - Embracing Responsibility Over Blame
03:47 - The Power of Self-Management and Growth
05:39 - Choosing Responsibility and Seeking Solutions
#ADHD #ADHDAdvice #ADHDcoach #relationshipcoach

[@BeUltranormal]

Hey!! Hope you enjoyed this one! Leave a comment below let me know! 👇🏻 Wanna join my Focus Bootcamp? be.ultranormal.co/focus-bootcamp - Chris

[@sehr56]

Came back to this one. Getting diagnosed in my mid-fifties, a lot of resentment towards my diagnosis. Everytime I read one of those posts or listening to podcasts that “celebrate” the “gifts” of ADHD. They must be living on another planet or diagnosed early enough that they can be engaged with the effects it has on being Whenever I hear that l, resentment and anger come up. Externally cheery. Interiorally just feel pissed, like I’ve been cheated for the great majority of my life.

[@BeUltranormal]

I've been there and felt this, for sure. I think it's finding the balance of being able to acknowledge the challenge of ADHD without being bitter/resentful about it nor pretending that it's an inherently good thing. It just 'is', and we can choose how to respond to it. There's 2 stages of emotions: 1) the initial *pang* of it. We can't control this. It lasts maybe 5 seconds. 2) How we interpret that emotion. Focusing on the second stage is crucial in not getting pulled around by our emotions or dwelling on things that are out of our control. This is the difference between being a victim and holding a victim mindset. This is not easy, but for me it's the difference between getting things I want done, or not.

[@sehr56]

@@BeUltranormal Thanks Chris for your insight and wisdom! Yes! How we (I) interpret the emotion is where I get hung up. Even those the pang is gone I keep it alive long past the initial feeling, both physically and emotionally. For some reason I go into rumination. It maybe that I’m looking for something that is no longer there but was srrong enough I want to keep it alive. Control? Engaging with the familiar patterns of misery and self loathing rather than sitting with it and not ruminating, but “accurately” interpreting that emotion. I seem to struggle so much with what I’m feeling. Often when my girlfriend would ask, what are you thinking about or what you are you feeling right now? And I can’tell her. I really stopped to examine how I am feeling and why. Just surfing🏄‍♂️ the emotion until I crash into the sharp coral in the shallows or hang out with the feeling, churching the waters bringing in the violent emotions and frustrations of my shortcomings and those of others. Ugh brother! And a huge, “f***, I hate living with me and the rolling waves of resentment. (this concludes my surfing metaphor!) Thanks for all you do Chris in tending to the neurodivergent tribe. I really am surprised you don’t have more viewers! Great content always, but obviously a very crowded field! I’m pretty isolated, but the few I do know I’ve sent them your links.

[@fatimal2406]

Thank you for this video, great informations!

[@BeUltranormal]

Thanks so much for stopping by!!

[@fatimal2406]

@@BeUltranormal what you have described in this video is crucial for ADHDERS. Elevate consciousness and responsibility is the core of the solution. It's like we use our higher spirit to transcend the cognitive difficulties. That's make our life meaningful, cause life may all be about this challenge at the end. Transcendence...

[@codecae2]

At what point does management of ADHD become masking, instead? It's generally understood that masking is unhealthy as well. I spent my whole life trying to understand why my social interactions were different thatn others. But now that I know why, it's impossible to ignore. It has its grasp into all of the struggles and challenges in my life. And it just feels like no matter how hard i try, i always fall short of expectations. It's defeating and unbearable. It makes me feel like im forcing myself to mask and be someone other than myself.

[@BeUltranormal]

Great question! I think you can be 'unmasked' (i.e.. be open with people about your struggles) while still accepting responsibility for the consequences. For me, managing other people's expectations is part of being responsible. I am much much more deliberate with what I make promises on, only saying 'yes' to things that I am absolutely certain I can/will achieve, and I will put in systems to ensure that it happens. I also know when I have the energy to be able to be social, etc... and when I don't have that energy and I will be transparent with people about that so that I'm not 'faking' anything. But also I believe that we're not just to believe that we are to avoid situations where we are uncomfortable. One thing that has stuck with me ever since I read it is this: There are precisely two situations where you can be yourself. 1) Completely alone 2) in a room filled with people who think, talk and act exactly like you do. For every other situation you need to learn how to interact with other people. It's true. I have had times where I have *hated* being around other people, but there's also been times when I have loved it. The reason why is that we are ever evolving people. So this is part of what this video is about. Our brains are still neuroplastic, they can change, so I'm not a huge prescriber to the idea that we should just "be ourselves" because it implies that we should be static or worse, that we ARE static. Which I don't agree with. So I think we're able to be honest and realistic about what we're able to give at that moment in time, while also putting in the effort to grow and change (if that's what you want to do). For me, it's never one extreme or the other. It's about finding and nurturing the right balance, but always heading in the direction of growth. And growth will always always require discomfort.