ADHD Tips and Solutions: Why They Don't Work

[@judelee9156]

Neurotypical advice: when cleaning, make sure you finish your task 100% before moving on ADHD advice: while you're doing 14 different cleaning tasks, keep the momentum and leave something obvious to let yourself know the task isnt complete when you walk past (i.e. a mop on the ground)

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

LOL! Yes, for some that is very helpful. thanks for posting

[@Worldofalz]

I literally have this problem while cleaning. I say problem, but I clean in pieces of tasks until I get it done which drives my partner insane. I haven't been diagnosed, yet, but this comment was so relatable and I felt so seen.

[@tykjpelk]

This is why I have cleaning supplies scattered on the floor randomly around my apartment.

[@sherrytzasherrytza4793]

Ahahahaha..love it.

[@benjamincanales6056]

It’s me!!! Lolol

[@hannahlomara6517]

I have been told all my life "you just need to sit down and do the work" and "you just done have any self discipline"

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

That isn't uncommon. Many with ADHD can be VERY productive in the right environment. Often it is among people in a more collaborative way. Don't let the comments get to you. Become aware and open to how you might do things differently.

[@hannahlomara6517]

@@AttentionTalkVideo 🙏

[@serenac6616]

@@AttentionTalkVideo I am professionally diagnosed with ADHD and so is my sister. We are both in online school and I can barely focus in class. My recent report card is all F's and I don't know what to do.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@serenac6616 I wish i had a simple answer. Online leaning is toxic for many with ADHD. For the most part i advise people to step into the mindset of simulating the class room setting as much as you can. Yes, this is difficult because many forces are working against you. While difficult it is easier than doing things the hard way. advocate for what you need. have conversations with the teacher (remember their job is to make learning easier... if that were not the case their title would be customer service). For my learning style i'd talk about the material before a lecture (I'm a big picture thinking and need context). Do want you can to find a study group or a study partner. Study in a place away from home (remove distractions). Hotel lobbies can work. Go to a relative or friends. etc. Again, i know this is hard but sitting at home with tons of distractions and learning on your own it VERY hard.

[@serenac6616]

@@AttentionTalkVideo I do have an organized desk that has all my school books and everything but I have a needy parrot and many online distractions during class. I live in a small condo and the "living room" is the only place that has a good internet connection so I can't really go anywhere but my desk. I also get really anxious when I talk to my teachers.

[@DaphodilsandWillows]

This helped so much. The more I understand why I am struggling the easier it is to forgive myself for not being able to be "normal".

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Forgiving yourself is huge. Beating yourself up is emotional. Emotions hijack your attention making things worse. I'm grateful this helps you!

[@PercivalBlakeney]

@Daphne Higgins "If the human brain were simple enough for us to understand it, we'd be so simple... we wouldn't". - Emerson Pugh. Arthur C. Clarke says something similar. Something along the lines of... never forget, the human brain IS manufactured by unskilled labour. 😉

[@adventures223]

Well put we are not normal but this man is spot on willpower dont cut it we have to force ourselves to get started once i am started i will continue until i need a break and get back to it until i am done for the day

[@peepdawg8995]

Worst thing is thinking that it's all your fault because you lack self control

[@Dancestar1981]

But it’s our normal so to put ourselves down that way doesn’t help our self esteem

[@Areebcito]

reading the comments while watching this video - typical ADHDer 😂

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

sounds about right

[@sweetiepie9411]

Hahaha yes 🤣🤣

[@aquickfoo4256]

lol writing this comment as the video plays

[@Iris-zq6sb]

I feel called out personally

[@cindyski4413]

And watching a movie!

[@xcentricstudios2912]

What I have found is that I am an extremely capable person at most task that I pursue but am unable to consistently pursue any one venture. It can be extremely frustrating at times but videos like these give me hope, thank you!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Grateful our videos are helpful. Do what you can to work with your ADHD and not against it.

[@alphalunablue8918]

My guardian used to always tell me "willpower" with nothing else, and I grew to hate those words. This helped so much more than most of the advice I've received in the 14 years since I've been diagnosed, and the 21 years since I've been born. Not to mention, this is the first vid about ADHD advice that I didn't have to speed up to stay on track with! Thank you!!!!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

You are welcome. Grateful you connected with the content!!!

[@fortolini]

as a man living with ADHD. you nailed it. Most boring task I HATE doing or never feel energy to do, when I do them with people I Like , I can do them with all the motivation in the world. that is why I LOVED group projects in school and I was really productive in those projects

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Booya! Look for someone you can barter time with. You help them do boring stuff and they help you do boring stuff!

[@kivro100]

Brilliant! I've tried to figure out how people's advise like "create a routine" etc. can possibly work when your biggest problem is not being able to stick to repeating, mundane things or struggling with focus and attention. Thanks for a great video!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

you are welcome... i love people that "get it"

[@vice2versa]

@@AttentionTalkVideo me to, thank you for this video.

[@Dancestar1981]

I have both ASD and ADHD Inattentive the recommendation for those with ASD is to have a structured routine down to the minute but the ADHD is the complete opposite and trying to balance both is difficult

[@NickBatinaComposer]

Dude, you cracked it, that was an amazing explanation. Yeah, I had lots of issues with those tips tricks videos, but could never put words as to why it was always ineffective!!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

thank you so much. you comments are very motivating and inspirational.

[@kaitlynnp582]

Your swimming anecdote really resonated. I ran track and cross country through college, and I've tried to run alone since then, but team activities are just so much easier to do.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

To me exercise is very much a social event. Often when coaching others we focus on people and exercise is a biproduct.

[@MrDmac423]

I’ve been called lazy by my father for the longest time. Because I couldn’t focus on our family business and got side tracked. I wish he knew.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

There are many who were called lazy by their parents... later finding out they had ADHD and wishing their parents knew. It is unfortunate. That said, do your best to focus on the future and what you can do tomorrow. As they say you can't fix the past.

[@toothfairy430]

Thank you! I agree with you about "solutions" for self regulation issues. They involve motivation and self regulation to get motivated and self regulate. It makes no sense and it makes us feel more like failures because we can't do it!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Absolutely!

[@mattng4707]

Oh my God thank you, this makes so much sense after so many years, I work so much better in social settings.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Love it when people have Aha's!

[@MrXtenzion]

Awesome to see that you are making new videos!! Keep making more!!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

we will because of comments like yours!

[@vincentvega53]

Great insight - as usual. I've got two questions: 1. Do you have any tips on HOW to train that ability to pause? 2. I often make plans or decisions which at the time are accompanied by a certain positive mood. At first I'm all hyped up and I really execute this plan, but then "things" gradually get in the way. Before I know it, I have forgotten about that positive outlook on which I started, and my goal (e.g. the reason to keep going!) has vanished, as if it never existed... How can I bring myself back to that initial mood of "That's my goal and I'm going to get there"...? Thanks for all your great work Jeff!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

There are all kinds of ways to practice Pausing. The trick is understanding which will work for you. You can set an alarm, you can make a ritual out of it, you can narrate yourself in the third person. You can read the serenity prayer. If you can figure out a way to actually pause you accomplished step 1. Step to is to witness yourself. Look at yourself from outside yourself and notice what you are doing, what you are thinking, what is going on then determine if you want to stay the course or change direction. It's catch yourself in a conversation and pausing to let you cool idea go and keep listening to the other person. To pause and notice you are relying on your memory to remember and to stop to write it down. As for your second question that is a bit more complicated. I'm guessing (just a hunch as i might not be right) when you make a decision or make plans your working memory isn't accounting for a bunch of stuff that is in between now and execution. As time passes those things reveal themselves and you feel pressure of the now and your intention then begins to seem distant. You end up living to fight another day by doing and not being. There are all kinds of things you can do to manage this but it is more than this forum allows. Bottom line self awareness of you, what you want to do and how life can get in the way helps to manage things. Thanks for commenting.

[@vincentvega53]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Thanks for answering - I really appreciate your part about the weak working memory. I always forget that! ;-) No wonder I'm soooo surprised every time when things happen which I didn't account for in my genius plan... And then it's exactly as you describe it, I end up "living to fight another day" and lose track of the big picture. Guess a whole lot more BEING instead of all the DOING really could help. Thanks again!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@vincentvega53 Maybe map things out... or do a spreadsheet with the day in the life of you every 15 minutes. It might help you visualize how busy you are and then you can plan accordingly.

[@oneblackflag]

Great question and great answers from Jeff. Thank you both.

[@iyaiyataktau5841]

The second question that's me, thought i was the only one 😭😂

[@marceline8488]

I feel like I missed something. What should I be doing? How do I follow through on what I know I need to do?

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

In simple terms i was trying to point out most solutions come down to using your thinking brain to override you automatic brain (you automatic behavior) which is self regulation. When you think about it they want you to use self regulation to over come self regulation. Put differently use your weakness to over come your weakness. My point is stop trying harder and try different. Meal planning and exercise are boring activities. Either simplify, make them fun, or do them while you are doing something else that is fun.

[@marceline8488]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Thank you!! I appreciate the dumbed down version. 😂❤️

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@marceline8488 You're welcome.

[@garyduncan7039]

I love your short, direct, videos and easy to digest as they have multi subjects into easy understanding tips. Thankyou from the u.k

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Glad you like them! Thanks for tuning in.

[@EchoYoutube]

I'm very pissed with myself cause I know exactly what I want to do, but my brain just doesnt want to fucking do it and I hate it so much. Like, life is actual hell. Even if I realise and know EXACTLY what's wrong, or know its ADHD but cant push myself, I just give up like a wuss. I don't know how to be normal.. The video was informative and helpful, it's just I'm not 😂

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Grateful you find the video helpful. As for being normal... trying to be normal when you are not comes with a lot of pressure. Maybe let go of being normal and understand more who you are and be that person.

[@Sammyss8]

This comment right here sums it up 👌🏿

[@remingtonfrog3170]

Exactly, Me too. I’m getting more angry these days realizing my brain won’t let, or help me do it😟…. It’s really freaking me out. Can’t be good. But I’ll say some of the videos are helping me out . I’m pretty certain at 45 , I’m gonna require meds to have any relief or success.

[@brunnosilva2668]

This really makes a lot of sense! I'm now studying programming and, I study much better when I'm talking out loud and acting like I'm trying to figure it out with someone next to me and as soon as I understand I act like I was the first to understand the subject and now I have to explain this matter to the person next to me.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Booya! Thanks for tuning in.

[@rickredmond9847]

Jeff, I was recently diagnosed at 55 yrs. old with Bipolar 1 Disorder that includes cognitive deficit features (ADHD, basically). Although I'm in treatment including medication, I am still fighting to maintain cognitive and executive functioning. I have had the DEVIL of a time wrestling with all of this all of my life since childhood. Fellow athlete by the way (Triathlon). What you've explained here really flipped a switch for me and threw a light on. VERY insightful and equally helpful. I'm running with this! Thank you! Keep up the great work!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Rick, thank you for your kind words. Sounds like you have some challenges. I have to believe exercise (triathlon) help you mange things. Be careful and strech a lot so you can continue to exercise. Thrilled this helped and thanks for watching my channel.

[@ak9315]

This helped me a lot. Now I can see the real problem not on surface level. I’ll change my system environment.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Booya!

[@ana-wp8qx]

This is exactly why I am struggling at WFH nowadays. Cant have a body double or a social situation due to COVID

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

It is VERY challenging for many. Do the best you can at simulating things. Zoom isn't a be all end all but better than nothing. thanks for posting.

[@ana-wp8qx]

@@AttentionTalkVideo True!

[@stephaniem895]

I’ve been searching for the right way to explain this to people about my struggle for years. All the “just start, just do it” talk was useless. I’ve discovered over the years that I have to have someone with me to get mundane routine tasks done. OR- I order a meal service, use curbside pickup for grocery shopping (because I hate grocery shopping), etc. One day it will be in my budget to hire someone to do all my laundry, house cleaning, cooking, etc 😜

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

For the most part I like your mindset. I will say this... back in the 70's and 80's when i grew up we didn't have things like grocery delivery. We also didn't have distractions like the internet. My point is... balance the two. Remove steps but also remove distractions. thanks for posting.

[@Dancestar1981]

Yes yes yes it’s called outsourcing our weaknesses and focusing on our strengths I am on dsp and I wish I had the income to do just that

[@Ssiren710]

I’m literally mind blown 🤯

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

i hope in a good way

[@laurenjackson8469]

ty so much for this video and also thank you for making it straight the point and short.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

you are VERY welcome. thanks for taking the time to post your feedback.

[@Cayenepepper]

Thank you for this, I feel so empty sometimes not having enough answers and not knowing what to do, super grateful for this information ❤

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

You're so welcome!

[@psm0815]

I'm 52 and after watching this and many of your other videos I'm starting to understand why I've struggled with implementing all the great plans to make money I've had throughout my life. I'm curious if simply taking an ADHD med like Adderall or strattera will make all the difference in getting me to take action? Could it be that simple?

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Thanks for posting. The meds help you sustain focus longer but they don't impact what you focus on or teach you skills... so it's not simple but it doesn't need to be as complex and many make it out to me. Awareness... self awareness can really help.

[@notoddbuttoddwho2550]

First of have to say great video! I'm 48 and just got on meds, Adderall. I had to fight to get on them (unfortunately I'm in the legal system now) everybody kept telling me that meds only solves part of the problem. They would say numbers like 20% and that the rest is therapy. But I was like, what if that's the 20% I'm missing? At one point d I even was bitched out by a legal authority figure who brought me almost to tears scolding me for having a very messy house. When I brought up that I'm really trying to get on right medication he exclaimed that the medications not going to just do the work for me. I of course felt stupid and a bit worthless but I kept doing what I needed to do to get the meds. Often I felt like somebody that was in an invisible wheelchair and I was getting scolded for not climbing the steps. The last 2 weeks I have been on Adderall and I have to say, ITS FLIPPING AMAZING! Don't listen to them downplay the meds. I don't know why they do that? ADHD is a chemical deficiency in the brain you can't will yourself out of that! Yes there are lots of techniques you can learn and will help you, learn those too but I would say the meds are more like 80% help. Remember none of this is your fault but now you know about it you can do something about it. Good luck to you and all the others in the struggle. Don't give up! PD twice on the meds I broke down and started crying like a baby for over half an hour. The experience with medication has been that profound! The freedom I feel now is AMAZING!

[@adventures223]

@@notoddbuttoddwho2550 I wouldn't take meds for the fact of addiction and they cause health issues i know they help but theres ways around it you have to force yourself to do things when you dont want to do them it will become a habit and when you start to drift take a break for 5 minutes and get back to it everything we do is pretty much a habit entrepreneurs with ADHD do this thats how there able to be successful you have to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to do what you dont want to do once you start doing it its not bad at all try it everyday for 6 mounths i vet it will work

[@notoddbuttoddwho2550]

That's cool, if you got something that works for you. I certainly don't mind being "Addicted" to feeling better and being more capable.

[@adventures223]

@@notoddbuttoddwho2550 True i agree as long as it doesn't cause major health issues ADHD is a bitch to deal with but i am glad for you at least you better off

[@valkyrie-randgris]

The reason I enjoyed college and got honors all throughout it was because I was able to LISTEN to videos or podcasts (or sometimes music, though I find it's rarely engaging enough) while pulling 16 or whatever hours days on assignments. Now that I can't really do that at work, life is so much damn harder. ;_;

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

In the right SITUATION sustained focus on one task is helpful for executive functioning. Switching from one complex EF task to another is far more taxing on working memory (see my booting up and booting down video). When an environment changes some times it means changing back to or simulating the environment or changing the cognitive nature of the tasks. thanks for posting.

[@AMindInOverdrive]

I'm watching this while I should be studying; Also, You're on 1.5x speed - no offense meant Also, I'm typing this while listening to you, after setting up another 6 videos on the same subject on YT....ohhhhh the struggle is real! Never been diagnosed but from what I hear in all these videos, I'd be 99% confident I have ADHD

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Are the videos distracting you from studying or helping you stay on task?

[@AMindInOverdrive]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Your video is good. I'm generally distracted anyway. I took a small break in middle of study session, nut 1hr later I'm still looking at videos :-)

[@tawiff3826]

57 yo and just now accepting my ADHD and working with it vs against.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Booya! Hope you find this channel helpful

[@Pandora234able]

I just wish I had friends to do this with that don’t hate me for having ADHD related overtalking

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Hope you have reached out for help. If you haven't i encourage you to find someone.

[@badboygoodgirl]

This helps me understand myself (and my daughter)!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

totally excellent! thanks for watching my channel.

[@Desilv]

For real.. this is one of the most interesting and helpful video I’ve ever seen on KZbin my entire life without exaggeration.. I struggle a lot from adhd.. getting fired.. lack of motivation on boring jobs.. I got a lot of knowledge but don’t got that “ thing “ to maintain focus on boring jobs etc because I need that sparkle that keeps me motivated.. I do work out a lot what helping me like day and night.. running and fitness.. do you have any more tips except for change the environment to deal with adhd like on workplace ?

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Thrilled you got something out of this video. My channel isn't so much about tips and tricks... it is more about insights and understanding ADHD so you can problem solve. You see everyone is different and every situation is different. I'd have to know more about you and your situation for a specific tip. That said, I find working memory challenges are often at the root of ADHD focus issues. Consider googling attention talk radio GPS and listen to my interview with Dr Barkly on WM or search you tube for attention talk video working memory and you can find insights on the topic. thanks for posting

[@dxmxrxsbxxckthxwxxdxlf3931]

Finding the right job IS TOUGH. I went through a couple before I got one at a last ditch effort and keeping that job is STILL HARD. What keeps me on track (most of the time) is jumping my leg, listening to music or documentaries (my saving grace) , and when I feel restless, play with a stress toy for a few minutes (without anyone knowing it) then go back to work. I hope to become a full time youtuber and freelancer once I am done with this job

[@Desilv]

@@dxmxrxsbxxckthxwxxdxlf3931 sounds great !! Tell me more about you ! Where you from what your doing right now as a job ! Love to hear !

[@ellevonk.2925]

Thank you! Sharing with my family & friends.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

excellent!

[@MeelisMatt]

focusing on process not results is very clever, great idea

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Yes it is. Most dwell on out come. If you ignore the process you'll never get there. Thanks for posting.

[@asmrmess]

I used to run almost daily but that's only because I'd think of some kind of story in my mind. Something very emotional and interesting, usually related to my personal life and relationships. Or something with some movie characters. Working out would get my blood pumping and make the story feel more real. But I would have to get inspired to be able to run. It worked as an energy release. I had no goals. Like body building, weight or something like that. Running was the goal in itself because it was pleasant. That's the only way I can actually do it. And not without the music. My stories had to go in my mind with certain music.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

sounds like you figured out a way to exercise. Awesome!

[@asmrmess]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Yeah, I just wanted to share some stuff that might be useful to others who need to find their own way of doing things. I'm glad you've read my comments. 😊

[@johnroekoek12345]

This Dutch doctor and her team found out food DOES affect our AD(H)D. Her work was published in the highest magazine for mental doctors. Some days I get totally lost and don't know where to start. And some days I've got the drive to order some things to get it done. Well, not quite, but 10% at least. :) Dairy, gluten, fibers and more. All can influence this. I am planning to write down what I ate and how I felt. Maybe I can find a patern.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

I agree food (what you eat) can have a negative impact on cognitive functioning (ADHD). Like an athlete if you want to preform at a level you are capable of one must be mindful of what you eat.

[@Dancestar1981]

It can help to reduce inflammation and play an influence but again it’s not a cure all

[@LisLara]

Now I understand my lack of willpower for long-term goals.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

long-terms goals don't necessarly require willpower. the path to achieve long-term goals is more about enjoying the journey. If you don't like the journey (i.e. path) choose another way to get there... just a thought.

[@thevermillionjacket7225]

Good talked fast, early if any had a silent moment, good way of keeping the intended audience hooked in.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

excellent.

[@valerivero6389]

wow i really resonated with the swimming story. i used to be a high performance gymnast and was in the state team since i was like 11 and was there for about 6 years and as i got older a lot of my best friends left since they were going into college and high school and it just wasn’t the same anymore and i really lost touch with it so i left too eventually in the middle of high school and i tried to tell myself it was because i wanted to focus more on school because i was getting bad grades. now that i think of it, even though it’s an individual sport and i still really loved it, i needed to feel that sense of community in order to stay engaged. so interesting to keep realizing stuff about myself!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Many with ADHD get energy from people... for the social side of things. I'm glad you connected with the video. Hope you use this new awareness in your life to your advantage.

[@ClubNoiseband]

Exercise: “hit” of Delta 8 and good music on good headphones helps me get an intense workout.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Booya!!!

[@Murlocky82]

I use VR to get exercise, not specifically workout games but games that make me move around fast. Cleaning up or cooking I use my friends by inviting them over which forces me to clean up. For cooking I offer to cook for my friends but I let them choose what to eat and make it into a hangout. Or I don't keep groceries in the house...I make a decision everyday after work what I want to eat then I go grab only those ingredients, which makes it rewarding for me.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

brilliant!!!

[@tanayadeshmukh1797]

Hi thanks so much for making this video. You mentioned that ADHD comes down to 2 things. An issue with self regulation, and attached working memory. Please could you expand on the second one?

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

The core of thinking is working memory (working with and manipulating thoughts in your mind towards a goal). When thinking is hard those with ADHD escape. Working Memory and Thinking is a complex topic. Two options to learn more. First google attention talk radio gps and listen to my interview with Dr. Barkley. Second, to got my webstie (digcoahing.com) and download my ebook on working memory.

[@tanayadeshmukh1797]

@@AttentionTalkVideo many thanks! Will check it out

[@katphat]

I feel so seen because of this video. Thank you so much.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

You are very welcome

[@ChefChrisDay]

Such a helpful video! And succinct as well!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Glad it was helpful!

[@tamannaparvin8528]

Thankyou so much!! I really related to this one

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

excellent

[@TheKillaCake]

Oh man finally somebody says it. Most solutions to ADHD boil down to, just pay attention, or just self regulate better.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Often the solutions make thinking easier or externalizing thinking which make it easier to focus. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

[@Dancestar1981]

And that’s a load of bollocks and doesn’t work for those with ADHD

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@Dancestar1981 it is a challenge but often it can be managed.

[@joshp.5714]

Thank you so much for talking quickly

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

You’re welcome 😊

[@SharonWeston]

Really great explanation and tip!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Glad it was helpful! thanks for watching my channel.

[@solomonKachi7000]

I can plan for hours but to do things that takes any kind of effort it’s so hard without some kind of incentive. It sounds like laziness but I literally know and have looked into the best way to do things and I know that it will benefit me but then I can’t last past a week. I hate this. My therapist keeps saying to section the day and do work in that time. But I have already done all this planning but it is hard. I just don’t seem to care in the present when the time comes to do what is good.

[@solomonKachi7000]

There are things that I enjoy and I seem to be able to do those for hours but I also lose interest in my forever hobbies for months or more at a time

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

In reading your post what I’m hearing is your strategy is to try harder (i.e. section off your day). In my 15 years of coaching I have not found trying harder to be that effective. In my experience it is easier to work with your ADHD not against it. For example (you might need to watch some of my videos on working memory), many with ADHD struggle to think towards a goal inside their head. Meaning they need feedback or someone to collaborate with. Rather than section off you day and try to think inside your head often it is better to work in the same room as someone else in case you need to collaborate. Think of it as adult study hall. Notice it is the environment that make it easier not the time of day. Hope this gives you pause to stop and think. Thanks for posting.

[@Dancestar1981]

It’s not lazy we lack dopamine and for us to complete a task it needs to create dopamine for us

[@Dancestar1981]

@@AttentionTalkVideo absolutely work with it don’t fight it. Take each day as it comes if you feel like doing something do it if you don’t have the energy to do it don’t. I have really low energy levels especially since reacting severely to Covid vaccines I also have ASD 1, ADHD Inattentive, Anxiety, Depression PTSD and RSD everyday is a challenge

[@samanthabarron8481]

Yes. Exactly. “How to focus: just focus” 😐 oh… thanks…

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

You're so welcome! thanks for taking the time to post.

[@ailurophile4341]

Wow!! You are a genius. I have always wondered and thought how "attention deficit" is very inaccurate. That's because I have nothing but attention. All in the wrong areas, though. Regulation and control is what I don't have but attention I have full of. I have made a cool banter for myself. I am run by small brain LOL which what cerebellum is.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Thrilled it resonated with you. Yes, ADHD isn't a deficit of attention but rather an executive function impairment. Self-regulation is a major EF. People with ADHD struggle engaging their attention on somethings and struggle to disengage their attention on others. Thanks for posting.

[@Dancestar1981]

It should be named executive functioning disorder because that’s truly what it is

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@Dancestar1981 Many agree with you. Problems is we can't change the name. It is written into so many hard fought laws, regulations, and accommodations that if we changed the name we'd loose them and have to fight the fight all over again. thanks or posting.

[@laner.845]

My biggest problem with the exercise is not the prep or exercise, it's the shower and cleanup AFTER the exercise. I don't have to do any of those things and I can shower at my preferred time of day if I skip the exercise entirely. I work nights, so waking up early is unsafe, I need to be awake on my drive home, so workouts have to happen after work in the morning. But I prefer to shower and it's easier to get myself into the shower, if I do it when I first wake up on autopilot before I realize I'm even doing the thing or before I feel like doing literally anything else besides cleaning (even myself). The whole process takes 10-15min when I'm still half asleep. If I try to work out and then shower... it may take 45+min to get through all the motions as I find other chores that need doing along the way since I'm not in a hurry to get to work.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Fascinating! I know you don't like to shower later... that said, what is hard about taking a shower?

[@laner.845]

@@AttentionTalkVideo the prep of moving clothes to the bathroom, execution of the shower process (where I have some physical difficulty because reasons), and cleanup of workout clothing and using the glass squeegee, etc. is a process that I get into a mentality of "I just don't wanna" sometimes, which makes getting myself to do the exercise part first almost impossible. If I don't exercise, I can shower every OTHER evening before work without being a smelly, gross mess. My skin really doesn't like it when I shower every day anyway.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@laner.845 Agreed... that is a challenge. Some times one needs to be creative. In the 90's i trained a lot of triathlons (swim 15K yards, run 30 miles and cycle 180 miles). Being in florida i'd come hope rince off outside with a garden hose and put my workout clothes in a bucket of water. Later i'd hang them on the fence to dry and wear them the next day. Might seem strange but it worked

[@laner.845]

@@AttentionTalkVideo we actually have a workout clothes bin, but I only own two sets with no intention to buy more given my utter failure multiple times to take up exercise. So rinsing to re-wear instead of small load every other day could work and get me all four days of exercise without adding any additional laundry to my week. Not like I'm going to be around others while wearing them. I'll keep that in mind, thanks.

[@tonybowen455]

Reminds me of what James Clear talks about in his book 'atomic habits'. The self-regulation part hit home with me. I started jogging oct of 2019. I did my first 50k pretty early on which wasn't planned. A month ago, I planned to do another 50k that turned into an unplanned 50 miler. I can never plan my long runs. They just kind of happen, I think because I have a self-regulation problem. I haven't found too much that helps it, but I've started looking closer at adhd solutions this month.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Maybe they just happen or... are you tuned into you body and when it is recovered and ready to run...you run?

[@tonybowen455]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Not a lot of rhyme or reason to it as far as physical recovery. Sometimes I just get into the mood. It's weird because I hate running, but it's running that really made me think I have adhd.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@tonybowen455 Self observation is about removing emotions and looking at facts. If you run 50K's it isn't because you hate it. If you hated it you wouldn't do it. Maybe you don't like running per say but you like being out on a chamber of commerce day so you run. As for being in the "mood" i find typically there are characteristics that facilitate a "mood". Identify those characteristics and you can manage your moods.

[@asmrmess]

Learning languages. Change the language of your favorite computer game.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

LOL!

[@kelseyswanepoel7056]

But HOW? I nedd help!! Where's the help video?!!!!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Managing ADHD is like doing word problems in school (i know.. yuck). Word problem are about reviewing situations and identifying the relevant and irrelevant variables then sequencing those variable in a way to solve the problem. Put differently you have to derive an equation to problem solve. This channel is about help people formula equations based on situations. I realize you might be crawling out of your skin reading this. From my perspective people are looking for people to give them the equation (i.e. a tip, trick or strategy... note most of drowning in a sea of strategies)... it is like using the Pythagorean equation to solve every math problems... it works if you are tying to prove a triangle has a right angle. Other than that it doesn't work on other problems. This video was intended to help open minds. Thank for posting. I'm sure others are asking similar questions.

[@butterflymoon6368]

yep. I can plan for days. That's actually my job. I can make plans no problem. I cannot make myself do it. I might as well have thrown it in the bin as soon as I wrote it.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Many with ADHD love to learn, plan, or organize. The challenge is executing the boarding tasks or managing around things that are ambiguous. The key is to solve for the root cause not the symptoms. Put differently, adjust the environment to bring stimulation to boaring tasks and acknowledge what isn't clear and focus on getting clarity before doing the task. Thanks for posting.

[@ahmedalgrai]

Having to run the video back to understand because I zoned out after 1 min 😔🤦‍♂

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

don't ya love rewind? Much easier today... back in the 8 track tape days... OMG!

[@ahmedalgrai]

​@@AttentionTalkVideo 🤣👌

[@myamaliha4305]

thank you

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

you're welcome

[@andresgutierrez3126]

really good

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Glad you think so!

[@PercivalBlakeney]

I went Vegan because Anthony Robbins wrote that it might help with ADHD... it didn't (so far). Sobering up at least has helped me to deal with life a whole lot better. Wish I'd done it decades ago. ☺️

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Sobering up? Congrats. It is hard to sober up. Kudos for those who can do it. Makes sense it would help. Thanks for posting.

[@PercivalBlakeney]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Hiya Jeff, Thanks for the reply. Going Vegetarian and subsequently Vegan has been great. Hasn't made any symptoms any worse plus, kind of like Joss Whedon says "when you can't do something smart, at least do something good" (and the attention doesn't do any harm 😁). Look up the Kempner diet and make up your own mind. Seems to fix a whole swathe of stuff... just not attention and motivation problems sadly. Sobering up though... If ADHD is what I think it is and if it's what I've got, [ahem] it's not a good idea then, to go (willingly) pouring a powerfully mindbending, powerfully addictive poison down my throat, ...willingly pouring, into myself, a poison that's going to take away what little connection to reality I do have. If I ever could have drunk responsibly... I would have done. M. Scott Peck was right, if you can't afford regular therapy, you CAN just go along to meetings of AA... alcoholism or no alcoholism. It's a lot cheaper than therapy and in my experience, just as effective. Met quite a few people with similar conditions to myself and as a result, picked up a few tips on how to get treatment. The general attitude, seems to have a lot in common with St. Francis, Viktor Frankl and Gandhi; slowly cultivating an "attitude of gratitude", slowly learning to understand the World, better than it understands you. (Yes I know... how many self improvement seminars have I been to? 😆). Sobriety, like Veganism, like with not smoking... total abstinence IS immeasurably easier than any kind of moderation... and I wish I'd got around to each one a whole lot sooner than I did. As and when I start getting treatment, I'll hopefully start making videos on the topic. Thanks again for the reply Jeff. ☺️

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@PercivalBlakeney You are welcome. Also, i love what you wrote Sobriety, like Veganism, like with not smoking... total abstinence IS immeasurably easier than any kind of moderation... and I wish I'd got around to each one a whole lot sooner than I did.

[@PercivalBlakeney]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Sawright, any opportunity to show off. Thanks Jeff. 😁

[@PercivalBlakeney]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Just one more thing... "Since I gave up alcohol, I realised, I'm still the same ar$ehole... I just have fewer dents in my car." - Robin Williams. It's only having sobered up I can understand that line fully. Thanks again Jeff. 😊

[@butterflymoon6368]

Pleasure-seeking brain. Oh lord. I know it too well.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

It can be challenging if you are unaware or don't get help. If you are aware and manage it you can live a fulfilling life.

[@liliandow8480]

i can only focus sometimes. like i have summer work to do (like taking notes) but i have to have my tv on so something is moving, my friend and i doing a video thing on my laptop but the sound off and music playing through headphones. and that only makes me focus for like 15 minutes at a time 😭 i think what makes me want to actually finish is the highlighting part. i like making my notes look nice but i save the highlighting for the end. but still can’t keep my brain focused on it for more than 15 minutes at a time

[@liliandow8480]

and only sometimes i’m able to force myself into a flow state where the time flies by and it feels like i got nothing done because i only got 5 pages of notes done in an hour or so 😭

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Self awareness is key. Keep studying what works for you.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Try and notice the characteristics of your environment when you get into the flow state. Is the TV on? Is there less pressure? is it at a time where you are not interrupted? Once you figure out your receipt you will be better able to replicate the flow state on demand (at times).

[@aaaaa-zc5hq]

I have autism, depression, adhd, and anxiety…they all seem to be working against one another and tactics to help improve one often make another worse…. :”) i’m so close to just giving up on improving…i genuinely can’t do anything anymore and the medical professionals just don’t understand- I don’t even have the willpower to improve anymore. Ah well…just gotta hope i get my once a month spurt of motivation soon to finish all these overdue assignments lol :”)

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Wow… sounds like your situation is complex. My hope is you are getting help figuring it all out. After complex is complex and figuring things out is best with a team. Keep the faith.

[@Dancestar1981]

I understand because I’m in the same boat I am advocating for society to change to support us properly

[@ataelbizanti9998]

You explained it soooo well but I wish you spent more time explaining how we can overcome this, having someone there all the time so I can cook or exercise is not sustainable, and how to make it easy to self regulate when you’re alone is what’s difficult. I would want to hear some tips on this!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Often i hear from those with ADHD who want to "fix" their ADHD... or "overcome" it. They don't want to need help. Dr. Barkley once said in an interview i did with him years ago... we spend most of our time trying to get people to own their ADHD. He was spot on. ADHD is an executive functioning impairment. Self-regulation is a major EF. Trying harder (using willpower) is like using your weakness to overcome your weakness. It doesn't make sense. Working memory is also and EF. Thinking inside your head is impaired. Tips to think inside your heads is like trying to move from the 20% percentile to the 30%. That is a 50% improvement but 30% is below average. It is easier for those to self-regulate and think outside their head if they are in the right environment. Trying to overcome your ADHD in the wrong environment is plain hard and stressful (note when the pandemic hit and those with ADHD were sent home to think inside their heads by themselves my phones lit up!). The point of all this is. Consider owning your ADHD. Focus on how to adjust your environment to adapt to you cognitive behavior. It is much easier to change. Changing your cognitive behavior (over coming your ADHD) to adapt to your environment is an anxiety filled minute by minute challenge. Sorry, my answer isn't as simple as you'd like it to be. If you own the insight... long term i've found things to be easier. Thanks for posting

[@cobalius]

Yeah, i've thought about it for a while now, and i guess i need to work on getting up my keystone habits... My only keystone habit as of now is drinking tea, whenever i'm gonna feeling melancholic, blue, desolated or depressed. That's literally the only thing that helps me to avoid elongated depressive moods and to recover quickly from them. But my problems are so widespread that this isn't anything close of being able to change things for me. I feel hopelessness nonetheless. So i also i also have to thing about previous keystones, not just about my status quo. As a child i was once meditating right before actually starting any frustrating task. And i also used meditation for recovery and as task transition and to mentally prep my tasks. During those times, I was golden at school.. well, as awesome as i could have been despite standalone adhd problems. The thing is i feel hopeless.. how can one ensure sticking to a thing, while having no friends, no work, no hobbies, nothing. It doesnt make much sense to talk me into a gym-kind-of-mindset for any number of arbitrary tasks, every day, when - after having done it - and i would still see myself being lonely, way too exhausted and still without topics to communicate with strangers properly and still too scared to apply for a job or a therapy. I also can't imagine a new keystone habit to be able to magically turn the tides.. and i also feel horrible about imagining that it COULD turn the tides.. because i then would feel like i would have betrayed myself for my entire life! Stuff like that. Feelings are crap. Luckily my brother doesnt have much of them, he doesnt understand my problems and that my whole life literally resolved around being able to manage my feelings to be able to fucking do something like said i was going to do. About exercises as most common keystone habit.. i know that i would benefit from that, yes. But whenever i've taken a step outside of my house i felt like naked and like people would watch me with unbearable disgust. Not that i would think about it actively then, it's just the feeling. And even though i hecking love to consume the beauty of nature like nothing else in this world, not even springtime offers me a drive that would be strong enough to counteract those dumb anxieties. Taking a shower, shaving, etc doesnt help me to reduce those anxieties though. And it's probably not a good idea to start exercising during nighttime.. i don't wanna bother the other people i'm living with.. i don't wanna annoy them.. and they wouldnt support those weird ideas either..

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

I've been pondering how to respond to your post. I'm not a mental health professional. I'm only a coach and thus any comment i make needs to be taken in the context that i'm not necessarily an expert or in a position to give advice. Mirroring back what you wrote... You say you have no friends, no work, no hobbies... you are scared to apply for a job. When i read that it seems you are isolating. Humans are social animals. I'd like to encourage you to seek professional help to see if you can find direction.

[@jordanautumnjarviswilson9383]

Greetings! So many Greetings is joyful..I'm doing my BEST for my environment at the moment and it's not enough! What do I do now to help both of us with ADHD his mind cant handle the work load in the house yet it's his mess. Fine. Fair enough. I am in tune with this so I'll take the lead for the moment but now he is leaving then coming back then leaving for days on end then coming back with some made up stories and some not made up which is which I'm unsure but it's all leading to this VERY second as I am alone while he is out on the streets now at 1:33 a.m. here in New Mexico early Monday morning this day in June.... We have been together for around 6 years now, and it feels like it's over but at the same time just barely begun... I'm so lost Sir... Would you possibly have ANY type of suggestion even if it's a million pages long? Other than the Lord and requests for Him above, it seems as though I must wait..... So now I'm asking because it seems I dont have to wait a TINY bit any longer unless wrong... Either way, I know this is common... How is this handled? Jail is confinement. Sometimes a jail doesnt have to have bars to hold anyone in but only need a Seed to start a manifestation which leads to branching. Sure we can prune the branches, but only do so if they are water shoots and too low to the ground so as to knock the tree over and break it... Looking at people the same way helps but there is a DEEPER meaning that in my opinion should be tended to effortlessly, But!!, Then the fight or flight kicks in. He is flight. And I'm disabled. I learned not to go for him to talk but to leave it be. Then he lies when coming back. And gets mad if I dont believe him. Then threatens to leave again like before because I thought it's what he needed..... One HUGE Battle Sir- Like sipping on straight chlorine... Thanks for posting Sir! It got my attention past my ADHD! Autumn Wilson, from Las Cruces, New Mexico

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

I'm hearing you are stressed. Sounds like there is a lot going on. We do what we can to help those who struggle. When things are complex there is a limit to how much help we can be. Have you gotten a coach or other professional to help? I'm hoping you are seeking help.

[@nnotblue8319]

first of all thank you so much for the video, second of all, do you have any tips on focusing in sports? my team lots a volleyball match yesterday and I performed really poorly due to not being able to concentrate, is there a way to help it without medication?

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

You're welcome. As for your question. Difficult to comment without more information. Were you struggling during the action, between points, or bringing focus when the ball is served?

[@nnotblue8319]

@@AttentionTalkVideo thank you for your reply! honestly, I can't really tell when I struggle specifically since it's more about the game in general, when the ball is served its difficult for me to focus and do my best since it feels like my mind is covered in fog and I just can't think quickly unless my coach gives me specific instrucrions/tasks. the problem starts when we are playing "out of system" when things don't go as planned or as we did during the practice, I get lost in all of the movement and make careless mistakes

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@nnotblue8319 Interesting. That could be a processing issue, a visual spatial thing, or any number of other things. May talk to your physician?

[@Jessicad654]

Spiraling out of control in my personal life yet again… and I am on 50mg Vyvanse each day. The only thing I am holding together right now is work. Everything else has completely gone out the window.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

What is different about work that makes it easier to manage?

[@wfpnknw32]

great video

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Thanks!

[@martincoronado9232]

What does somebody do to find out if they have ADHD?

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Find a mental health professional and get a complete evaluation. This could be a neurologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, etc. Thanks for posting.

[@admiraleveleigh8573]

So wait how do you make self regulation easy?

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Simple question. Complicated answer. In general remove temptations then create an environment that support you. For example, many I have coached through the pandemic have developed screen (smart phone) addictions. Many have had to get flip phones to remove the temptation. This is an extreme example but at time what is needed. Self regulation is "the" challenge of ADHD. If it were easy you wouldn't be watching this video. As challenging as it is you can do it Keep the faith.

[@Reree-gz5bg]

I hate doing things alone 🫂😓

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

agreed. Humans are social animals. Due to the lure of our digital world people are becoming more isolated and interact digitally out of convenience. It is my understanding this is leading to increases in anxiety and depression. Self awareness is important as is the need to advocate for yourself. I realize this isn't always easy but it is hard if you don't. Thanks for posting.

[@4evergreeneyedgirl]

Enjoyed the video a lot! I have ADD (not ADHD) and my ADD is god awful! I take meds for it but it’s not going to 100% work as like you said, self-regulation makes a difference. My current struggle is coworkers thinking I’m not paying attention because I say “okay” even though I am listening but can’t say too much or I’ll forget it right away. I also try to multi task which is extremely hard and coworkers have the impression that I don’t try when I do. What tips do you have on communicating with coworkers how my ADD effects my job? I’m a teacher btw

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

thank you for your kind words. As for your question... it's very broad. In general, I encourage people not to disclose the diagnosis. Instead disclose symptoms. For example, I have working memory challenges. That is why i often ask you to repeat your question or why I ask if i can talk out loud. Hope that helps in some way.

[@Dancestar1981]

@@AttentionTalkVideo yes I definitely second that otherwise you get discriminated against and even unfairly dismissed

[@zacmann7850]

It’s crazy training working out is exctually very easy for me its like part of my life style for me its more things like keeping my room clean or learn new things Also if i found something very interesting i can do it all day long and sometimes forget to eat at some point in time it gets less interesting and i find something else and keep doing that while i need to be doing something else important i try to write down rules for my self things like wake up on 7 o clock take a douche things like that but everyday I can’t find that order is there anything that might help?

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Forgive me... I"m not sure i understand your first sentence and i think I'm not understanding your post. If you would please restate what you were trying to say.

[@Dancestar1981]

Time blindness to lose time and not know where it’s gone is a real issue with ADHD too

[@sandyyvonallain]

I am note sure whether I have ADHD or some form of it but I have a very big problem self regulating as you put it. does adhd people all have self regulation problem? Is there other form of adhd? I watched some videos and recognized myself with only a couple of things...

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

ADHD is an executive function impairment. Self-regulation is a major EF... so yes self-regulation (impulsivity) is front and center.

[@mautrindade]

I've tried this, meditation, etc. But I find that even so, I get bored of "pausing". It really is a catch 22 to me. I don't take meds and only was diagnosed when was younger. Will meds help me with this? Got a psychiatrist booked in 2 months.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Meds really help some but in general they are not the be all end all. What they do is help you sustain focus longer than not being on meds... so if you could only read four pages of a book before your mind wondered off and now you can read 4 chapters it is working. Understand the meds don't tell you what to pay attention to and they don't teach skills. again they are not the be all end all they can be a very helpful tool.

[@mautrindade]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Thanks for the reply. What about the executive function of your brain? I definitely never seen meds as a miracle drug but my problem really is not reading a chapter but it's to even pick up the book. It's not that is hard to set a goal and execute, it's not hard: it's impossible! Say I wanted to follow ADHD advice from anyone, it simply won't initiate in my brain. So I can't even get started. The classic "know what to do, just won't do it"

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@mautrindade The answer to your question is way more than this space allows. In short, I think you need to step back and look at a bigger picture of what you are trying to accomplish and understand who you are before you drive forward. Many with EF challenges need to focus on doing it there way not the way you think you should. when i started coaching i was told i need to write a book or write blogs ( i'd rather go to the dentist). I started my podcast and then this channel instead because writing is agonizingly hard for me. Talking is easy.

[@mautrindade]

@@AttentionTalkVideo yeah can totally relate. I already went through all of the soul searching/who am I thing, there's literally nothing people tell me that I haven't already tried so I lost hope (the psychiatrist might be my last hope). All the best!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@mautrindade Keep the faith

[@KilgoreTroutAsf]

I workout daily, I cook home and try to eat clean and generally try to live a healthy lifestyle and I still struggle with lots of day-to-day tasks without medication. I am not saying this is not good for health, or generally good advice for everybody, but if I HAVE TO do it consistently or else my life falls apart and even so I can barely reach mediocre results often times, then they are not "some tips" but a huge life tax interfering with everything else. I dont always have the extra daily hour to go to the gym, or to plan, buy, cook and clean, or to meditate AND ALSO focus on my work, career, relationship commitments, etc. And neither does most people BTW. Life is stressful and complex enough as it is for neurotypical people. You can only juggle so many commitments before some things start falling thru the cracks.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Thanks for posting. In reading your post it is clear you struggle. That said, it seems like you are managing. Am i miss understanding that? Life the "life tax" concept. ADHD is an EF impairment. It does take effort but you can still live a fulfilling life.

[@KilgoreTroutAsf]

@@AttentionTalkVideo i manage some days better than others. winters for instance make me extra tired and therefore extra scattered, unmotivated and unproductive. and it does feel like an extra tax if i cant skip days when the circumstances require it.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@KilgoreTroutAsf Wondering if one of those sun lamps would help in the winter.

[@KilgoreTroutAsf]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Yes, I got one of those, but there is a lot more to it than circadian dysregulation. It's also the reduced social interaction, the lack of fresh produce and the inability to go on a walk or sit in a terrace and enjoy the weather when I get sick of being indoors.

[@rjexe1713]

Why do i past 1 day at job?? And get bored and WILL not do it if it don’t interest me😭 suicide feels best sometimes i messed up such good opportunities for my age😢

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

what types of jobs are you getting? The ADHD brain is very reward driven. If you are applying and getting jobs that are repititive and boring it can be challenging.

[@johnroekoek12345]

I watched this with speed video 0,75. 👍

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Hope it worked (helped)

[@johnroekoek12345]

@@AttentionTalkVideo All your videos help me 👍👍👍

[@Reree-gz5bg]

1.5x for me 🙏🥲

[@Kathy_Bennett]

I can't take it any more! I want to either get divorced or run away from home. My husband is adhd.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

I'd encourage you to talk to a theapist at one level and others to pause and think through any decision you make. It is always helpful to think throught things. Thanks for posting your expereience.

[@gu3610]

Yes it is more about self regulation but adhd person can not notice it is happening. There is an energy pushing the brain forward to fly past certain tasks. The too much energy is the real problem. Not enough excercise and poor nutrition intake.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Yes! ADHD is a self-regulation challenge... many can get lost in their head and not notice things. That is why self-awareness is SO important. Thanks for posting and for watching this channel.

[@asmrmess]

Cooking. I hate it. But I can make a huge bowl of salad for 3 days. How? I wash the veggies, put them on a cutting board, bring all that with a knife to the table next to my computer and cut them while watching something. Probably the same thing as having a friend next to me with a glass of wine. 😄

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

"cut them while watching "... great example of using want you can pay attention to in order to do something that is a struggle. Booya!

[@asmrmess]

@@AttentionTalkVideo Yeah, I've got LOTS of coping mechanisms. The trick is - if there's something that is hard to do for you, don't try doing it like neurotypicals do. Sit down and think, read about it, be creative and turn it into something you'll be able to do. It's like we have these creative minds for a reason and we need to use it, not try to force things.

[@gavriellowell8713]

Do you think that task management software can help self regulation? If so- which would you recommend.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

Self regulation is the ability to pause, direct an action back on yourself to change the future. If you are addicted to you tube and you keep your phone with you... and your tasks are boring, require a lot of executive functioning, and there is a level of ambiguity to the tasks I'm not sure any task management system will work consistently. My point is... it's not just the system but the environment and the nature of the tasks. When coaching people two things i keep in mind. Reducing temptations and making thinking easier. It is more about problem solving than just software. Sorry if that isn't the answer you were looking for.

[@brendalg4]

@@AttentionTalkVideo do you have more info on a system that would work? I can't get myself to start a task.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

@@brendalg4 I'm not a big systems guy. I'm more about problem solving. If you have a task ask yourself what is hard (be honest... if it is boring it is hard). The problem solve around the root cause. Often people don't start a task due ot ambiguity. If that is the case... identify what is unclear and focus on the easiest way to get clear. If you haven't noticed there is a big correlation between clairit and motivation. thanks for posting.

[@wrongthink5306]

I got bored at 3:50 😭

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

sorry about that

[@wrongthink5306]

AttentionTalkVideo Don’t be, its not your fault! It’s so frustrating 😭

[@someone-yo2jf]

Really tried to focus on the video and do nothing. As usual failed.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

what did you do to help you focus other than will power? What distractions did you have around you?

[@trillstina]

Tried to watch to get ways to help me focus. He mentioned parts of the brain- Starting thinking about how people consider some things to be disorders and other things to be natural. How many ppl need to have the same disorder for that disorder to become natural? Then thought about how some ppl are born killers, just like tigers are born killers... but you wouldn't put a tiger on trial. But we don't want killers running around

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

What makes ADHD challenging to many ppl is its invisibility. since they can't see it they don't understand it. It can be very frustrating. Keep the faith.

[@58479ishere]

So if the "solutions" don't work, what does? I cannot focus on anything but watching tik toks

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

ADHD is not so much a deficit of attention but rather a self regulation issue. This helps explain why many with ADHD have such addictive behavior. The gravitate to things that are pleasurable. In your case could it be that tik toks is pleasurable? Is it that you can't focus on anything or is it that you can't focus on anything so long as you can escape to tik toks? Many with ADHD have a screen addiction that is a real obstacle to focusing on things less pleasurable.

[@caatabatic]

EZPZ

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

lemon squeezy

[@souvikkundu]

You could have said this in a minute. Change your environment. 2x video speed helped me!

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

I can understand where you are coming from. Fact is many are listening for what they want to hear not what a person is saying. At times it takes redundancy for them to override the belief of what they are hearing to actually hear the message. Thanks for posting.

[@reduanani4937]

Talking to you all who feel like you can't change your life around...I was like that for a long time, but I succeeded in changing my life by 180 degrees and now I am a 100% happier person than I was before. The one thing that really helped me was Forwago because it made me change the way I think and look at everything.

[@AttentionTalkVideo]

How your mind is set up (mindset) is huge.