Adult ADHD + Newly Diagnosed? Here's what to know, and how to cope.

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Adult ADHD Diagnosis are on the rise! In fact, they have more than doubled since 2020. So in this video, I'll share what I would do if I were diagnosed with ADHD as an adult today and the exact steps I'd take to ensure I'm on the right path toward growth and acceptance.
This is based on my own experience, being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and the adult ADHD clients that I work with as an ADHD coach.
I hope you find it helpful!
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00:00 Introduction
00:30 Why adults are getting diagnosed with adhd
01:33 How Adults are finding out they have ADHD
02:34 ADHD and co-morbid conditions
05:01 Accept the sadness about your adhd diagonosis
05:46 Educate yourself on adhd
08:33 ADHD and intelligence

[@thedebbiedilemma5417]

Yes, the sadness is from the mourning of the childhood of misunderstandings and accusations...

[@LucaAnamaria]

I really appreciate you advocating for growth and personal development. I recently got blasted on an IG thread for stating that as ADHDers, it's our responsibility to work on improving our executive function to mininize stress to ourselves and to our loved ones. People argued back, saying that our loved ones need to simply accept the fact that we often just don't feel the need to answer phone calls or communicate at all. I was like...what?! 🤣 Way to perpetuate attachment trauma for other people. This whole "accept me exactly as I am, even if it hurts you" mindset is unfortunately pretty prevalent in the ADHD community, so we really need coaches like you who are empathetic and compassionate, but also ready to push us lovingly toward actual growth and positive change.

[@CarenMagill]

I completely understand this issue. I have so much compassion for people who are stuck in that mindset, but the reality is that even though our neurodiversity is not our "fault", it IS our responsibility to manage it. No one else is going to do it for us.

[@LucaAnamaria]

@@CarenMagill 100%. I actually felt very hopeful and energized when I learned that executive function can be improved. I actually cried. I don't want to lose the creativity of my brain, but if I can reduce some of the chaos, that makes me feel so empowered.

[@ambersucces9867]

This was so well said

[@Ramble_On_Rose]

I also think it is important that we acknowledge not all people have supports or access to accommodations to make these improvements ‘on their own’ and think that may be why folks are especially sensitive about it

[@LucaAnamaria]

@@Ramble_On_Rose That's a fair point. Still, I think it's important not to get complacent with some of our actions (or to give up on even the idea of improvement), at least the ones that hurt others and ourselves.

[@sweetderpg]

The bit about ADHD and intelligence is something I struggle with. When I had my diagnosis they concluded that my intelligence was really high, like 80th percentile. But my working memory was average. My gamer-girl analogy is that I was a PS5 game trying to be run on a PS4. Works sometimes but could be so much better if I had a system that could keep up

[@copiouscat]

Omg sameee…. Everyone asks me what grad school I went to and I’m like …. Yikes I’m sorry but I’m a dropout… I’m going back soon tho when I’m on meds🤷🏽‍♀️

[@mindymac_does_stuff]

I just got my official diagnosis this morning, I'm 42, and a little shocked and out of sorts. This couldn't be more timely 🎉

[@dancingram79]

Congratulations! 🎉 You will now be able to understand so much, get help and the coolest club to go along with it. ❤

[@Rain_Reign]

Congratulations! I’m 43, and today was my day. Trying to figure out wtf to do now 😅 Go us!!!

[@Ramble_On_Rose]

39 and glad to find community, here

[@3dchick]

Newly diagnosed as of yesterday! I'm 54. I cried all the way home, mostly in relief (I'm not a failure). But earlier in the year, while waiting for the appointment, I absolutely went through a grieving phase for who I could have been, what I could have done, if I'd had treatment younger. And, like you, that I couldn't tell my mother, who died in 2020. I'm convinced she had it, too, and wish she could have gotten treatment. It would have made such a positive difference in her life. And so much strife between us could have just...not happened. I already had major depression, and am getting treatment for that. I'm excited to move forward, and the timing of this video is like the universe sending me a hug. Thank you for all the wonderful advice and understanding!

[@jondowd11]

I can sympathize with those feelings. I'm 39 and only a couple years ago was it pointed out to me that I probably have ADHD, but I haven't been diagnosed. I just found out this spring that all 4 of my siblings have it and I'm pretty sure my dad had it but never even knew. Now I'm seeing signs that my 8 year old may have ADHD as well. I can't turn back time to help the younger me who struggled with it, or my dad who went his whole life without understanding his own struggle, but at least this knowledge will allow me to help my child so she doesn't have to deal with ADHD the same way past generations did (by not dealing with it).

[@3dchick]

@@jondowd11 Absolutely! Just knowing these things aren't us or them "not trying" can help not going through life sure they're secretly broken. Best wishes for you and your family! 🤗

[@deborahdaviesdd-artist1059]

This was my story. 5 decades of ADHD and then the pandemic. Then a diagnosis.

[@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD]

Dx’d at 31 with ADHD combined type. I’m fairly convinced that I’m an undiagnosed AuDHD. I wish people could appreciate how much mental bandwidth we spend adapting our neurodivergent brains to adult in a neurotypical world. Everything feels swimming the backstroke in quicksand. It’s chronic and incredibly exhausting to our autonomic nervous system. We need more awareness to make the world more accessible for all.

[@deborahtrusson5170]

Thanks Caren, again! I was diagnosed late last year at the age of 65 and a half. I ossilate between .... "finally my life makes more sense" to rage at not being diagnosed earlier when dealing with other co-morbidites dyslexia, dyscalulia, and chronic depression. Thank you for what you do... I am struggling with finding an ADHD Coach I can afford.

[@username604error5]

Just diagnosed at 54 …. Very validating as well as Grief, Anger, Shame, Fear etc etc etc

[@Gillymomma1225]

I went through a time of grief for my childhood and adulthood when I felt different and like a failure

[@bumblebee_mrs]

I am the exact same as you Caren, as an adult woman with ADHD I find a spotlessly clean house and time management to keep me regulated to a degree. I love your channel, thanks for sharing.

[@lowfatdarkchocolate]

Your comments about stigma were really interesting! I think a lot of people with certain ethnic backgrounds may struggle with stigma around ADHD and even mental health overall. For instance, I grew up in an Indian Christian family where a lot of the women were nurses, which is a crazy combo in terms of stigma around mental health overall 😂 I've managed to get past it by removing myself from my community and being assertive with my immediate family, but there are a lot of people who are not willing to do that and would probably be more devastated by a move like that. Would love to read what the experience is like for other people of color in the comments

[@CarenMagill]

I understand this!!! I have a lot of clients from Indian decent and I can see how the pressure to conform to family values can be crushing. I love that you're bringing it up here.

[@DarthJarJar10]

I was diagnosed last year at the age of 30. It was as a series of family crises were materialising. Concerta changed my life for just 3 months but then had to stop taking it, despite just how well it worked in fixing my life (no more concentration issues, zero anxiety and depression, stabilised moods, etc)... A symptom which did not go away turned out to be epilepsy. My neuropsychiatrist and neurologist won't let me take ADHD medication. There is some belief that my concentration issues are caused by the epilepsy. I'm basically on my own as the one crisis is my mother was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's. I have quite a demanding job and am still busy with qualifying exams. So time is a massive constraint.

[@user-ou2tz5ud7n]

I love you

[@SJL07]

I first suspected I might have ADHD after watching Ardellvision’s video on emotional disregulation earlier this year. Her video was truly life changing for me. At 59 I am 2 weeks out from a positive diagnosis. Even though I was grateful for the confirmation it was still a downer. Medication is definitely a challenge at first but I’m seeing results and feeling more positive. I’m so glad I found your channel, Caron!! ❤

[@courtneyfifield7410]

Love all your videos! Thank you for sharing 🙏

[@yibuseato]

Your videos are lifesaving. I have been able to learn & grow so much thanks to your advice & guidance. Thank you!!!!

[@barefootjamie143]

Caren, just wanted to thank you for this video. You answered so many questions I had 🎉😀

[@Dancinglemon]

I got diagnosed yesterday, when this video came out! The timing is brilliant!

[@alexbaer9997]

I am very glad I found this channel. I’ve just joined the club and I am 53. For me it was a relief. Like a big weight lifted off my shoulders. I am taking baby steps and getting my surroundings back on track. Looking back so much makes a lot of sense. And there was I all these years thinking something was wrong and I was loosing my mind 😂. Turns out I am just neurodivergent. Really looking forward to my next chapter. Love to all of you ❤

[@3wash980]

After being confirmed with ADHD, I felt really sad. This video played a significant role in gradually alleviating my sadness, giving me hope to improve and providing guidance on what to do. Thank you very much. I wish you even more success. ❤

[@lcvmaddox3357]

I'm 55 and also diagnosed with ADHD less than 10 years ago. Grateful that the KZbin algorithm brought me here and subscribed!❤

[@ktmggg]

Thank you for pointing out all the "flavors" of ADHD. I have time blindness, messiness, anxiety and life-long depression as my markers for ADHD. I'm not sad or in grief about the diagnosis. I'm more astonished that I got this far with this undiscovered anchor around my neck. Instead of being the slacker drama queen my family accused me of, I always saw myself as having a curious and restless mind. The mark of genius as one favorite childhood teacher described me to my parents.

[@mayabellebethany]

I love your outlook.

[@squalley]

Thank You for sharing your story 🫶🏾🫵🏾🖖🏾

[@aminasalisu6345]

i think my struggles are very similar to yours ...i struggle with organisation and planning and social skills ..i dont even think i struggle with planning ..its mostly the follow through

[@squalley]

11:50 I really needed to hear this right now. Thank You Caren 🙏🏾🖖🏾

[@MemeS-sb2cq]

I just found you and Im happy I did. Im 57 and just forund out last week. I went to my Dr just to check on me with the meds Im on. I happen to mention my memory loss and all over the place issues, things Ive been doing/not doing. She looked at me and said you have ADHD. I was shocked at first, but I found relief knowing what has been wrong with me for the past 20 or so years. She put me on Adderall. Been on it for 13 days. I dont feel a difference yet. She told me to finish up the prescription and she might have to up my dose. Thats where I am right now. Hugs to all =)

[@thequeenofmycastle1834]

I wwould just like to say, thank you for this video. I often watch youtube on my TV and don't comment because it, well, inconvenient and takes time and extra steps. I have not been formally diagnosed, because it's a long process of finding a doctor, getting an appointment and paying money upfront for the visit, but basically scheduling the appointment when I can afford to go and waiting for the visit. ITMT, I watch youtube and read books to collect strategies to make the most of my situation and to deal with my executive weakness as best I can. I very much look forward to your videos. Keep up the good work!! God Bless!

[@CarenMagill]

thank you!

[@hhernandez1230]

Great video. Exactly what I wished I knew earlier this year but it took me sometime to figure it out with the the help of my therapist.

[@rednarok]

You are incredibly helpful!!! I recently self diagnosed Autistic spectrum, i have symptoms of OCD ADHD Misophonia, memory problems and who knows what else. all of it is new to me, but when i looked into it, it explains 95% of my life's past problems!!!! and i never had a clue this behavior was a "common" thing... I really appreciate your work and dedication to helping others for free on youtube. You are an angel!

[@army-st3dx]

Plz help me

[@danielle...O_o]

Got my test results today. First test that I flawlessly passed in one go 🙃. I'm officially part of the tribe now (age 41) 🙆🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

[@GoddessHabits]

I absolutely have to work with you asap.

[@teresastorms3774]

This is great information! I was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago. I'm curious about the process most people go through to get the diagnosis. I met with a psychiatric APRN and filled out several pretty extensive questionnaires. We had a discussion about things I struggle with and how I try to deal with them, etc. She recommended medication after speaking with my medical doctor, and then I began taking medication. That's all I did. From what others say on different videos I've watched, there is a whole huge process that I really don't know about. Can you talk more about the steps you went through to get your diagnosis; and maybe what the most common steps are? Love your channel ❤️

[@CarenMagill]

I wish there was more education offered alongside the medication. I hope this was at least a good start. I did another video on this a while ago, but really all of my videos touch on this.

[@teresastorms3774]

@CarenMagill I agree, and thank you! I will keep watching all your content, because it really is very helpful and super informative! I think I did see the video you are referring to. I will watch it again. I learn more every time I re-watch them. Thanks for all your hard work to educate us! 👏

[@deborahdaviesdd-artist1059]

I’m recently diagnosed in my 50’s. At points in my life when I didn’t know I had ADHD I was, from time to time, suicidal. Had your videos been available to the struggling young woman that I was there is no doubt you would have helped with my mental health. Please know that the videos you post here will save lives, either from years of shame and low self esteem or from suicide. One day I hope I can work with you. Thank you for all you do. 😊

[@army-st3dx]

Hlo

[@mossm717]

This is really great information, you must be a phenomenal coach! I’d love to hear more about the connection between executive function and social interactions

[@CarenMagill]

Great suggestion!

[@auklett]

Got diagnosed last week! I’m trying the Shimmer app for ADHD coaching

[@tamarahid9713]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. The cleaver explanation is like a light has been switched on for me. I know the info and yet I dont know how to make it useful out there. Made me feel foolish so many times. Also, I drift in and out, when I read a book, or watch a video ( even this one lol) sometimes I have to listen to the video several times or read a page several times bc I have zonedout, now I realise it us part of my condition.

[@CarenMagill]

Yes!! it was a lightbulb moment for me too when I heard it.

[@JLN_SNE]

Thank you so much Caren - both for all that you do, and the kind way you go about it (very inspiring!!) You have just provided a huge piece in the puzzle for me... that not all have the same issues with their executive function. I've looked everywhere for this information as I could 't understand how I could be ADHD and not be late and misplacing items. Well, now I know and I can go forward from here. So thank you ❤

[@LucaAnamaria]

Check out the book "Smart but Scattered" for adults. There's an executive function quiz in there and it will determine your strengths and weaknesses.

[@user-kv8nx9oj5v]

Same, this was helpful for me to hear too! I do struggle with being late, but I never lose anything! I can see where everything was last placed in my mind and I'm always helping my husband find his wallet, keys, etc. (I literally waste so much mental space remembering where random objects are.) It's funny because the one ADHD symptom I don't have at all, he has in abundance, haha. 🙂

[@JLN_SNE]

​@@LucaAnamariaThank you for the advice - I'll have a look for it 😊

[@JLN_SNE]

​@@user-kv8nx9oj5vMe too! I've had a huge personal growth spurt the past couple of months (incl the ADHD awareness) but it was actually kick started by learning about hyperphantasia - which I now realise has made many things easier for me over the years. Sounds like you're blessed with this as well ☺️

[@CarenMagill]

You are so welcome! Thank you for the gift!

[@aprilmae137]

I recently got my diagnosis after over 10 years of suspecting. I was definitely emotional immediately following feeling abnormal and broken. It was disconcerting for about a week and now I’m feeling much better. I think it’s normal to react to it. I’m almost 40.

[@carrieh922]

Thank you

[@leigholding1397]

I'm 45 and not diagnosed. I've also got learning difficulties. Working memory is all over the place. I'm sure I'm add. Also a bit social awkward. Tiny little bit Autistic. I'm glad neurodivergent is a spectrum. Cause I seem to not fall into any type.

[@SunburnX]

Newly diagnosed at 22 and 10 seconds into this video and I'm already overwhelmed and maybe i'll watch it later. I do want to watch it but idk...

[@oniruiz7734]

Caren do you have any suggestions on how I could do a test to determine which executive functions rate the highest or lowest for me. I know there’s many and I think I know which ones are the most prevalent for me, but if I could find a way in which I could be more certain of which ones they are that would be very helpful. 🙏🏽🙌🏽 Thank you for this video! Very helpful. 🤗

[@CarenMagill]

I don't know of a specific one (try googling), but this is a great idea for a video. Thx

[@jumbleskull]

I just got diagnosed today I’m 37…

[@23lexicon]

Its like you’re reading my mind

[@ForMySunandMoon]

I thank the algorithm for bringing me here

[@jilkenma]

I can see that I was affected in 2020, but I also think that my total hysterectomy in 2021 exasperated it. HOWEVER, looking back over my life I had it all along. I

[@baldersn4474]

No ones aware of it much in the UK ...Esp the Health Service 😢 I'm 51 by way waiting to get diagnosed , been told by GP two years min..

[@Happytrace13]

Question: How do I have routines when I travel every week? New house about every week ...housesitting.

[@CarenMagill]

You've got to build them! What do you do every morning when you wake up? What do you do to wind down?

[@wietskewelten]

I'm such a dweller. It's sad and so unhelpful :'(

[@KnordRW]

There isn't enough thanks I could give you Caren for all of the amazing information that you provide in your videos and elsewhere! I've always thought I likely have ADHD, as both of my brothers have it and at least two out of my three children have it. I've never been officially diagnosed however (no idea where I'd go here to have it done), but every time I watch your videos I recognize part of myself in them. One thing that has me concerned(?), confused(?) is that my lack of focus and scattered mind seems to have suddenly gotten significantly worse. Using your meat cleaver analogy from this video, it's like someone took a whack and (re) disconnected all of the connections I'd made to overcome my ADHD in the past. For the first time in a very long time, it's beginning to be noticed by others and is causing some issues with my work and every day functioning. I'm really curious what could have caused that, and it's what's been driving me lately to do more research (and what led me to find you.). All of that rambling to say that I think you're awesome Caren and I appreciate everything you do and create! ❤❤❤❤

[@oniruiz7734]

I am exactly in the same boat. I was never diagnosed, but have been able to still do ok in college and work. Now all the sudden it has gotten seriously worst and it’s affecting me at work and other areas of my life the last 3yrs. Not sure what caused it to get so much worst now in my mid forties.

[@user-kv8nx9oj5v]

It seems a lot of people are finding their ADHD worse after COVID infections, possibly due to some added brain fog? Lot of conversation on reddit about it. I know for me, a different chronic illness (autoimmune, onset pre-COVID) added chronic fatigue and some brain fog that made it so much harder to get anything done or think clearly at all.

[@CarenMagill]

I totally understand this and I deal with it too. As we grow up, we develop compensatory methods to cope, but at some point, even those can stop working. It can be age, hormones, big life changes, lifestyle issues - anything really. That's why I'm a strong advocate for self-care (nutrition, sleep, movement, positive emotions), because that's the baseline for staying regulated and focused.

[@SunburnX]

update: watched it full.. had to 1.75x it

[@sna1976]

We now have a month?? it was on all of our 'to do list'.. the list that never gets done... so how?....lol

[@traceymcrae3160]

No diagnosed but 😮❤

[@Lesley-Ann2018sux]

Got mine 2 month ago at 44

[@Lesley-Ann2018sux]

No medication I was an addiction won't give me any told to do my crafts

[@wietskewelten]

09:16 😪