#ADULTING

How is this my life right now? This week we're #Adulting and doing this my high school classmates did years ago. Go to thld.co/modern... to get $20 off your Fertility Hormone Test! Thanks Modern Fertility for sponsoring today’s video!
So... life is moving pretty fast these days. On top of organizing all the launches for MSTRPLN and planning out videos for YT, I'm now also having to plan the next steps of my life: getting married, eventually having a baby, and having to combine finances with Brian. It's a lot.
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[@AjaDang]

ps. I did not find my dress here ;)

[@melem774]

1.) Wedding dress shopping is draining. Especially when the SALES person is trying a little hard for you to like a dress (aka push a dress on you), or are a little too excited for every dress hoping it is the one, or if they are not helpful at all. But when you find it; you will know. Also from the three second clip, not to judge but I might sound as though I am, your mom seems very blunt on her thoughts for a dress for you. and what you need is someone that will listen to what you are feeling; not someone ready to give their opinion. Because it is draining you need a support system. I always told the sales person the dress was okay. But when I found the one I cried. 2.) I had my kids at 33 and 37. I have had friends that have had them at 39. I am sure you will be able to be pop out kids quicker than you think! Try not to add more stress onto your body. 3.) Dave would say combine. I have not combined and sometimes I wish I would have since my guy is like yours. Give it time Give all of it time nothing has to be done or decisions have to be done by next week. The fact that you are thinking about it all puts you ahead. I think I went to 7 dress stores, I didn't even take prenatal pills until after I had my positive pregnancy test with thyroid issues. and the money thing we are still learning to figure that out. Adulting is hard. But we survived another day!!

[@yumcha88]

I tried on so many dresses to see what looked good and then scouted Poshmark for a dress. Got a nice Pronovias from an older season for $850. I also ordered a dress from JJs House online which was risky cuz you can't try it on but quality was decent and I only dropped about $200 for it. Discovered it from Reddit. Just don't expect to return it because I think that's where people get all angry about JJsHouse. It was going to be back up dress if I couldn't find anything else I liked. I, too, was whatever about the whole wedding dress experience. It's also so wasteful to spend a fortune on a dress. I say just buy one that looks good for photos so you have that for memory and then sell it! preserving your wedding dress is a waste of closet space. Also, my husband and I share one joint account that we just contribute what we can and it goes towards mortgage and anything that we use together.

[@idajohnseningebrigtsen8943]

Have you thought of renting a dress or buying used dresses (vintage)? Then you can adjust them after ☀️

[@foxyladygrace]

I literally laughed out loud when you went into the closet and said, “NO BREAKDOWN!” 😂😂

[@AjaDang]

traditionally the closet is not a great place for me lol

[@benny88cups]

I love how nonchalant your mom was towards her own wedding. Love your honesty about wedding dress shopping. As for the joint account, my friend has her own account and an joint account for bills

[@ashleynorthover5084]

GUYS WATCH THE ADS SO AJA CAN SAVE LOTS OF MONEY FOR HER WEDDING 🥳🥳🥳🥳

[@AjaDang]

second!

[@nicol3mii]

I'm on premium. She'll get it too. ;)

[@adventurousbec]

What I do is watch the video (with ads of course) and when I'm finished just watch the ads once more.

[@Natalie_11188]

Basing a joint account off of percentages seems fair. It’s good to keep separate accounts in case of fraud or identity theft- so you won’t be screwed if something happens to one account, you’ll still be able to function. Yeah Brian needs retirement!

[@usc_thehubz1446]

thats sort of paranoid. They could sue the bank and make a scandal out of it if something like that ever happens (which it won't because of security)

[@Natalie_11188]

@@usc_thehubz1446 of course the bank would make it right- but who wants to have no money for the 48hrs until things get straightened out, or if you’re traveling and don’t have access to all of your cards. It doesn’t hurt to have more than one account if that happens.

[@usc_thehubz1446]

@@Natalie_11188 yeah thats a good point

[@Natalie_11188]

@@usc_thehubz1446 happened to my mom’s friend and her husband. She got her purse stolen the day before they left on vacation- had to cancel all of her cards/cards in a joint name (good thing her passport wasn’t in there). But they still went on their trip and had a good time because there was money/cards in his name only.

[@claudiadufour3567]

I would do: 1. Brian checking fun money 2. Aja checking fun money 3. Bill pay shared checking (autopay and/or variable spending) 4. Joint savings goals 5. Brian individual goals 6. Aja individual goals

[@rachelstallings5460]

Maybe use this time to get your savings into high yield savings, like Ally or Capital One. Ally now has buckets so you can use it for sinking funds. But this structure seems to reflect what your needs are.

[@briannanight8395]

What we are planning on doing as well.

[@briannanight8395]

You guys are well off but for other people if one is higher than the other. Do not try to do 50/50 do whatever percentage works. I did 50/50 now however, post wedding i will pay less as i am more than likely going to make less. It looks like i will be a solo mom because of my fiancé's future job. One lady i know actually pays 60% and he pays 4p%. In her previous marriage and the current they payed based off of percentages of take home income and neither marriages income has been an issue. Her first marriage seperated from something other than finances.

[@christinamartinez2853]

I have a very similar breakdown I have an extra savings account that I don’t really need but have lol. It’s worked out for us to also have various different banks Chase, BofA, Ally, Santander. So that no matter what and because we travel often you have access to some sort of cash.

[@bellechuangg]

this is essentially what i have with my partner as well! we have 2 separate joint accounts, one for savings in a high yield account that we can’t access and one to pay for common bills + credit card

[@aznpridebuhhd]

“I’ve tried to teach him a few things here and there, buuut the boy is just not getting his shit together” this is meeeeeee! 😂😭

[@QuesttoFIRE]

Since you and Brian have different thoughts about finances, I really, REALLY hope that a prenup is something you’re going to do. 💚 You have gotten your financial life together, and have a bright future… don’t risk it!

[@DearDebt]

My husband and I have one joint checking and one joint savings. We also both have personal accounts where we put our spending money. That gives you flexibility of having your own spending money still but also having a main joint account for the majority. I feel like having a joint account is easier especially once you start having kids!

[@usc_thehubz1446]

I feel like a joint account is a lot better for the relationship. Otherwise all kinds of fights start over partners spending especially when the going gets rough

[@haute03]

@@usc_thehubz1446 If fights start over spending then wouldn't having *separate* accounts make more sense?

[@ghurlthatrocks]

This is exactly what we did, and it’s definitely one of the best decision we made. :)

[@kimcko]

I'm curious, are you reconsidering your move to Texas? I've always had Texas on my list of possible spots to move to, but ....it's off the list now. The power grid is trash, the protection of women & our rights are a joke, ugh. Also edit, just reached the end of the video - we actually have had a few conversations in your Discord about how to split finances! I asked when I first joined bc my bf and I moved in together. Others have asked since then

[@Sarah-ul9ec]

TX was also one of my top list!

[@AjaDang]

Texas is no longer at the top of our list for the reasons you mentioned. The only way I'd CONSIDER going there is if Brian felt it was important to move there to be closer to his aging parents. We would not buy though, only rent and then leave ASAP.

[@Karess8701]

Having separate accounts and a joint account where you put percentage in is the BEST situation because you can still have control of your funds in any given situation and the joint account is great for things you do together. It takes away a lot of confusion!!! They way you are going is great!

[@allthehui]

Aja, you look radiant! I know a few years back you were struggling with body image as you matured, but ughhh you look SO good!! Obviously not the most important thing, but just happy to see you happy.

[@_kenia]

My husband and I decided to keep our finances separate because we both spend money differently. We only have a joint account for bills. This has prevented a lot of money arguments ❤️

[@coreydulin3822]

My dad set me down a few months back to have a talk about finances and he stressed the importance of having a separate account from your spouse. He said he and my mom use a joint account but they also each have their own account that the other can't access.

[@aznpridebuhhd]

I totally feel you on the whole joint account idea. I think having one joint account with your partner while still maintaining separate individual accounts is ideal. Like when I’m buying things for myself or trying to surprise him, i don’t think he should have to pay for that, right?

[@aznpridebuhhd]

Also as mentioned in a comment, there have been several times where it worked out having two separate accounts in the case of fraud!

[@mytube1479]

Hi Aja, congrats on the upcoming marriage! It took my husband and I some time to figure this out in a way that worked for us as individuals and as a couple. We tried to do the same percentages like you described and then having our individual accounts, but what I found is that it put the person who made less (me at the time) in a tough spot bc there were things I couldn’t indulge in that he could, and there was some resentment that developed. We re-evaluated and decided that that didn’t work and bc money earning power can quickly shift (now I make more) we really wanted to feel like financial equals and have similar say on money no matter who was the higher earner at any given time. We now merge all our money at the beginning of the month and then transfer the same amounts to our individual accounts for personal spending. My husband likes to spend more and at time charges things and that means he has to use his personal spending to pay that off, bc he doesn’t have his shit together at times…lol. It keeps us accountable to each other and to ourselves. There may be things that come up that one needs and we discuss it to figure out if it’s personal or not. Hope this helps in some way. Just remember there’s no one way that works for all of us us all the time. It’s ok to start with where you feel comfortable and then adjust as needed. :)

[@Natalie_11188]

You’re beautiful Aja I am sure you’ll look lovely in any style you chose. A detailed back is great since everyone will be looking at you from behind!

[@vbutterfly11]

The way you planned it is perfect. We have separate as personal money but a joint for bills. It makes the most sense.

[@mariakristina7440]

FINALLY a vlog. something different than financial/ budgeting videossss TT

[@jenniestott5694]

We have multiple joint accts. I do all our finances so it's easiest for me to see everything across the board when I'm budgeting. Basically like you, 'just gotta tell him what's up and he's down with it'. We've talked about about how much he needs for whatever man stuff he does (gaming nerd), but otherwise I do the shopping/budgeting/etc. because its easy for me and I enjoy it.

[@goofydumbgoofyhobtch2765]

Been married 23 years and never combined accounts! As long as you agree to financial goals and who pays what, there is no reason to.

[@kgal1298]

It's nice that modern fertility is making it more accessible, now if only it were cheaper to store your eggs if you chose to wait longer.

[@sarahhanley1624]

God. I am so late to the Aja party. I absolutely LOVE your content. Where have I been? You're turning my whole world around and I'm super grateful for your work. I have to tell you, my husband and I follow the model you were thinking about when it comes to mixing your financial worlds. I think it's exactly perfect. We have a joint account that we deposit into based on a percentage model, and the rest of our money is ours to do with as we please (fill our own cars' gas tanks, "spending" cash, clothes, etc.). It just prevents so much confusion, debate, and disagreement. I contribute a certain amount less, because I do the grocery shopping with "my" money. So I get to have a bit of a better percentage actually than he does. If I can meal plan and not kill the food budget, then it works out for me. It encourages me to spend a bit more wisely on food - which I feel like you - is kinda life. I am the money dip shit - my husband has it together. He disperses our money from that join account for bills, retirement, savings, investment, our boys' college funds, and our major money needs. I just sorta function...over here. You are my new favorite person, and you have totally motivated me to think more about my money/planning life. I look forward to your 2022 vlogs!

[@alexplummer17]

My husband and I got married last October and we combined finances this past January. Money stresses him out and I enjoy the control so it worked out well when we agreed that I would control our budget and whatnot. At Chase, we have 3 checkings and 1 savings. We’re joint on all BUT the accounts are designated as joint checking and then each of us has an individual spending account. The joint is for all bills, expenses, etc and then our spending account is for whatever we want personally, or if one puts a bal on a cc then you would pay it off out of your spending account. We have a set amount that goes into the spending accounts each pay period, and the remainder goes to the joint where I budget, pay bills, etc from there. So far this has worked really well for us! Note* we have two incomes and no kids.

[@melyandres_]

Percentages are a good option and it makes everyone feel that they’re contributing equally, which would avoid potential tension. We have a joint account,for simplicity’s sake because I manage the home finances… but I agree, keeping some anonimity would be nice!

[@tangifangledangle]

Defo keep separate accounts as well as joint! I think this seems to be more common for couples (esp when the woman be workin’). Gives you best of both worlds of personal freedom & combined goals you work towards

[@violettababenko4847]

the first dress was beautiful!

[@alysonf87]

I would recommend: 1. Individual accounts for spending 2. Joint for checking (bills, house, kids, small goals) 3. Joint savings and emergency funds

[@usc_thehubz1446]

oh my god you're so chill in your apartment, lol such a cool girl in apartment like european so down to earth its really refreshing with so many celeb girls on here if you know what i mean

[@claudiadufour3567]

Every couple I know does it differently, so totally up to you.

[@Sarah-ul9ec]

When my husband and I got married, it took awhile for us create a joint checking account (about 6 months). We also had our own individual accounts, which we eventually moved and combined to the joint account another 6 months later. Honestly, as long as you're both communcicating and not hiding any spending from each other, it's fine if you dont jump into combining your finances immediately. It's ok if an adjustment period is needed or if you feel that you need to set aside a separate account for more serious financial situations imo.

[@ayeeeannieee]

To transfer funds, if you both have Zelle linked to your banks, that’s an easy way to do it

[@staciamj1]

Yes and yes regarding the accounts. Keep an individual and joint

[@danatalbert-raymond9274]

My husband and I only have a joint high yield savings account. We divide up the bills where he pays certain bills and I pay the others. When stuff comes up for the kids or unexpectedly, we split it. It’s worked for us for 16 years. We’ve never argued about who’s paying what and obviously if something catastrophic would happen (like someone loses their job), we would have each other’s back.

[@dadmomand3]

Your thought process on accounts sound great. After being married almost 30 years, I opted to consolidate for ease of management.

[@sangmayday]

I chose to use the wedding dress/attire for myself to be pieces from sustainable brands and went with a simple dress from Reformation! Plus, now I can rewear the dress for a future occasion! ☺️

[@starry_config]

Joint account was actually a pretty intense discussion with my SO. We’re both in our mid-30’s when we got married this past May and have pretty deeply engrained financial habits on our own. What we agreed on is a joint account (savings and checking) and individual accounts. Our paychecks go into our individual accounts first and then move into the joint accounts for joint expenses (as opposed to joint first and flow into individual). I imagine this will evolve as our family situation changes and we get more comfortable about doing finances as a couple, but we’re in a good place now and it’s working well, so I’ll stay flexible and have an open mind :)

[@yolandayee9808]

wedding dress shopping can be overwhelming. keep an open mind and once you find the one, you will know. I’ve tried really expensive dresses and much cheaper dresses. when i tried on “the one” I looked at the price tag and it was less than $1k and was so surprised! but i agree with you that you shouldn’t spend so much on the dress.

[@twiheartloverfyi]

The individual and joint account idea sounds sensible.

[@RosanaZeng]

Firstly, just want to say I love your videos and have been following your journey for awhile :) Secondly, just wanted to share some of my thoughts: 1. Felt the same way about my wedding dress! Didn't really care and I actually went dress shopping by myself a couple times lol - in my city, there is a non-profit charity that collects donated wedding dresses and sells them at a fraction of the cost and all proceeds go to cancer research. Not sure if there is anything like that in your city, but it is another option (I got my dress there and donated it back afterwards). 2. My husband and I personally share 1 joint account for all joint expenses and have our own personal accounts for us to buy whatever we wanted. Maybe one option for you and Brian is to dump a lump sum amount into the joint account monthly that will cover all joint expenses (and keep a nice cushion in there for joint emergencies). Hope this helps! Good luck with your wedding planning!

[@jamiejanine4180]

My best friend cried more than I did when she saw me in my wedding dress. My family doesn’t really show emotion either unless it’s really something crazy but even with my mom we for some reason hide our emotions lol. As long as you find something you like and don’t mind looking back on the photos & feeling like you’re super beautiful! The dress grew on me & I loved it more afterwards than before and during!

[@obscurexninja]

So how my partner and I split the joint account: Subtract all personal liabilities from your own salary and determine the percentage we earn from that remainder. Total all house / family related expenses and that's the minimum we contribute to the account. We have a joint savings for house rainy day fund.

[@destiniez04]

Me and my husband did our accounts just as you’re thinking of doing yours and Brian’s. I manage everything for us and we both prefer it that way. Combining all accounts and all income just didn’t make sense bc we both have our own money goals.

[@VibrantViews]

Talk about the universe speaking to you. I'm 34 (35 next month) and was just looking at at-home fertility test kits. Welp, placing my order today. 🤞🏽 Thanks, Aja!

[@AjaDang]

read the instructions!

[@britofalltrades]

My partner and I have a joint checking account and we use it for bills and anything for the home. We also have our separate accounts for anything we want to do. It’s best to have a joint account that covers joint payments like bills, food, and home goods. WOMEN PLEASE KEEP YOUR OWN MONEY EVEN IF YOU ARE MARRIED!!!

[@juliennetongson5650]

After being married for a year now, my husband and I still don’t have joint accounts. I think we both like it like this. He makes more than me, so I take care of all the bills and he does mortgage and it works for us!

[@seachelles7]

I totally agree with you about the dress try ons. I found it unenjoyable and frustrating. I think part of it was that I was 33, nearly 34 and the poofy princess bride time of my life had long since passed and that’s all people wanted to put me in, but the statuesque fishtail dresses just made me look old. I wanted something really clean and simple and it wasn’t an option at any of the stores I went to and it just put me off. I was happy with the dress I picked but it wasn’t THE dress and I didn’t feel amazing on my wedding because I didn’t love my dress and I hated what the hair and makeup artist did. If you want kids eventually, I highly recommend internet cheapie ovulation pee stick tests.

[@emilyelswick6152]

That first dress was stunning on you!!!

[@theretiredmillennial]

I’m also team simple wedding dress - I’d be down for an expert to give me 3 options to choose from based on my body figure. I don’t think I’m having a wedding though, I may move to Hawaii for a year instead 😁. Thinking an engagement shower is more than enough. Looking forward to see how this unfolds for you and how you end up managing your finances. ❤️❤️❤️

[@AjaDang]

who needs a wedding when you can move to hawaii?!

[@theretiredmillennial]

@@AjaDang my bf’s (future fiancé/husband) family is from there, so it will be a pretty surreal full circle for him! Definitely meaningful for our future family ❤️✨

[@C_Beaty]

We eloped instead of having the big wedding. So worth it! I wish we had been able to go on a big honeymoon like that instead, though.

[@theretiredmillennial]

@@C_Beaty it’s an idea that kinda slowly came together, and I’m definitely liking it more and more! ❤️ congratulations on the successful elopement!

[@katuschki]

You and your mum seem to be sooo similar - I mean in personality. She is so chill and your voices sound very similar :)

[@mizzp7]

I completely relate to your view on wedding dress shopping! I went a few times with family and my best friend and wasn't that interested. Ended up finding my dress for way below my budget and with my husband. Untraditional but he knows me better than anyone else and didn't push me to try on anything I wasn't comfortable with. Much better experience for me than the usual.

[@AjaDang]

I would actually prefer if Brian went with me wedding dress shopping. Trying to convince him to come with me on Sunday.

[@mizzp7]

@@AjaDang I would definitely suggest it. As much as I love my mom, friend, ect it's hard for them to take away their own basis. I ended up trying on the same two dresses the whole appointment because everyone else love them. I did not😂. Felt more like a barbie doll. Going with my husband I brought in photos of styles I really liked, tried on a handful, and was done. He's not going to remember all the details of the dress and you'll look different the day of so there's still an element of surprise.

[@lesliecstlns]

I think I have a similar situation. Husband and I lived together before we got married. We had separate accounts and a joint checking account to cover joint expenses (mortgage, utilities,etc). Once we started combining bills together (cell service, car insurance), those became joint expenses. I gauged our monthly expenses together and came up with a household budget. Since I earn more, I added our annual incomes together to figure out the % split. That became what we automatically contributed to the joint checking account. Any balance at the end if the month was swept into a joint savings account. We still have our own savings accounts and separate personal checking for our discretionary spending. I evaluate our annual expenses and income every year to determine a new budget and new contributions. I recommend adding 10% to the monthly budget to cover unforseen joint expenses. Congrats and good luck!

[@vr00mie87]

My husband and I both have individual checking/savings accounts, but we have a joint account for bills and things we do jointly. It just works for us. We both trust each other with our own money, but I don't want him to feel like he has to ask me or tell me about little purchases and the same for me. It's been working and we've been together for 8 years.

[@DearDebt]

I’m so excited for you and all these awesome milestones you have coming up 😍❤️😍❤️🎉

[@Allbeautylab]

Here are my two cents. Regarding the fertility testing, you might want to consider both of you getting tested and see where you currently are. Men infertility is an issue that's not openly talked about. Regarding the joint accounts, I belive its important for both partners to have an honest converse about wants and needs and openly discuss ideas in how to proceed as a family, because it has future implications. Having one partner financially savvy and proactive and the other laid back and not interested might have repercussions in the future and it's a potential red flag. Regarding the wedding dress, I hear you. Just because the society says you need to be excited, doesn't mean you have to conform. You do you. A potential solution to find a shape and style that fits you, you might want to look into the Kibbe method as well as finding your "season" by working with a specialists. There are a few youtubers that are offering services and it might be a nice collab. Congratulations and by the way, your ring is so beautiful and unique, just like you 💕

[@emurdify]

the damn fertility industry has us all thinking we won't get pregnant SMDH we live on my husbands income (lower) and save/invest/large purchases/experiences with my income but all our accounts are separate. just lots of transparency and honesty! joint credit cards

[@LuminousNews]

All accounts, credit cards, and property should be joint. Also, you should each know how to access these accounts. This is good for estate planning.

[@saskiaines]

My partner and I have our own bank accounts and we have a points card we share for travel expenses. Everything else we split 50/50. It's worked for the last 11 years:)

[@denise_abe]

We have Wells Fargo and are very happy with their customer service. Also, my husband and I have a joint account.

[@erinlovescoffee]

My husband and I have separate spending bank accounts and one joint bank account where major bills go out of. Love that the puppy was in the closet with you 😂

[@saskiaines]

Same here. Having ones own money is so important.

[@HelenShen]

Highly recommend renting a dress if you're not interested in keeping for the long term; I paid ~$900 for my rental Pronovias dress at bella bridal in ktown including alterations, veil, and dry cleaning

[@royaldreamer88]

I would second this. I rented my wedding dress at a Korean bridal shop also in Ktown. All in all it was 1k.

[@jesseeec]

I went bridal dress shopping with my husband (fiancé then) and just brought the first dress I tried on. I just wanted to get it over with.

[@chaichai0724]

I love your hair! it makes me wanna have bangs 😍

[@cutiepiemania45]

Aja I think you should talk to Erin from Broke Millennial. She's talked about this in her books. Plus she did a podcast with The Financial Diet. I'm really curious on her view on couples at different financial retirement amounts

[@SamElle]

oOoO I totally didnt know that wedding dresses were supposed to help cinch your body!!! I would have definitely worn spanx too hahah

[@_mar_ta_]

Yes to the income percentages and HELL YES to the separate accounts + one joint account for bills/food/etc. In my opinion, everyone should have their own money and being married shouldn't change that.

[@blinkeypanda]

RE: joint account My partner and i have a joint account just to handle our shared expenses that we contribute only a percent of our incomes like you were thinking of, i make significantly more than him. Mostly it just covers our mortgage, utilities, groceries and wedding stuff. We started it when we first moved in together, but we're getting married next year and are rethinking if we should just share all of our expenses. But I'm worried he'll judge me for my spending habits which are totally ok because of my income. Would love for you to share what you learn

[@ajadang1585]

*Thanks for the feedback hope the video helps you in your endeavors I have something I would like to introduce you to feel free to text me for more enlightenment..📥𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟶𝟼𝟾𝟿𝟹𝟸𝟿𝟻

[@NoraTKD]

Aya's mom 'I don't like lace, I don't like satin.' Aya 'Then what is left? XD'

[@emiblackburn7555]

My husband and I have a joint checking account, and we both have personal saving accounts in the same bank. :)

[@rachelstallings5460]

We have a joint checking and savings at a physical bank, then an online high yield savings. We didn't close out individual checking and savings (also at the same bank) until we had been together for quite a while and so many joint expenses that it didn't make sense to keep things separate. But we do run a joint budget together through YNAB. I think it's easier to keep things separate when you have lots of margin in your budget; when we went down to one income we consolidated everything so that the full financial picture is in one place.

[@MarenAltman..]

F•o•r g•u•i•d•a•n•c•e o•n e•a•r•n•i•n•g. I•n•v•e•s•t•m•e•n•t•s w=h=a=t=s=a=p=p Expert Arielle Thompson +1~•2~•1~•3~•4~•7~•8~•5~•6~•5~•4

[@DajahArceo]

I am currently divorced, but when we were married. I had an individual checking/savings account. My ex husband had only the joint checking/savings account we shared. The reason it was like this was because I was the more financially responsible of us both, so he trusted me to manage both our incomes. However, I will say this was mentally exhausting. Being the only one "thinking" about the bills, savings for trips or holidays, or general spending was a huge mental toll. It also became a pain point whenever he wanted to buy something & I said "no". Not because I didn't want him to spend money on his own but because we didn't have the money to spend & he didn't realize that since he paid no attention to any of it. In the future I would definitely opt for what you're considering & what others have mentioned below. Have a joint checking/saving/CC for joint family spending & still EACH maintain your own individual checking/saving/etc accounts to share that responsibility. I think % based contributions are a great idea to keep it as "fair" as possible in regards to each of you. And allow each other to manage their own spending for other things so the mental toll isn't on one of you to track.

[@moneytalkswithjonathanthom4150]

Great video..he needs to care and be aware but thats maybe me misinterpreted.. We have 1 joint checking, joint savings, and joint brokerage. We both have individual checking,savings and brokerage. Just in my experience with coaching its more difficult logistically to combine when you come together in mid to late 30's. I focus more on both beng aware of everything and being on same page

[@78chaser]

I loved this video. I don’t know the details, I don’t need to know. But this was raw and real and that’s exactly what I appreciate your content for. Cheers!

[@haunanireads]

My fiance and I have our own bank accounts and one joint and I love it!

[@aveenobunny]

Can you talk more about what the best bank is and why?

[@anniee221]

I agree with keeping your own account but opening a joint account with Brian!

[@carlapslv]

My partner and I have a joint account and joint credit card, and then individual accounts for personal spending but all pay checks go into the joint and then divided from there

[@alexianedidrick251]

I think a joint bank account for bills and joint savings account for an emergency fund or major purchases like the house deposit would be enough

[@lindseyhtf]

This might be unpopular but don't put to much pressure on yourself for the dress. Everyone has what's important to them and I think we put to much emphasis on the dress sometimes. I loved like 3 dresses and ended up thrilled with the one I got. I just wanted something pretty and classic and kind of plain. For me the most important thing was the flowers and decorations which is where I spent most of my energy and money. Focus on the food if that's what's going to make you the happiest on your day, pick a pretty dress but don't feel like you have to fall to your knees sobbing over it if that's not what gets you going 🤍 best of luck!

[@xtinac8328]

My fiance and I also plan on having a joint bank account for the majority of our paychecks, but also having a small personal account - mostly in the case of buying each other surprise gifts, the other person won't know about it haha! And of course other reasons: he doesn't need to help finance my makeup stash, and I don't need to finance his video game and gadget collection lol

[@sylwia8811]

Adulting... Shit I forgot to take my pill! Thank you for posting this 😂

[@AjaDang]

oh girl - remember that!

[@knkk0020]

I'm the same way as you about dresses. I took myself dress shopping and settled on the one that made me feel the most comfortable at the end of the day. Could I have gone back and tried on like 100 more, obviously, but comfort trumps all on your wedding day.

[@snowexplores8926]

Please do a video about helping your partner open a retirement account!!!!!!!!! Or opening one for him 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@ajadang1585]

I'll work on that pretty soon .. meanwhile Thanks for the review I'll love to introduce you to something big feel free to text me for me enlightenment📥𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟶𝟼𝟾𝟿𝟹𝟸𝟿𝟻

[@shapemailife6878]

Yeah, adulting can be...tiring, to say the least. My husband and I have experimented with a few things and here is what works for our family. We have quite a few accounts that are joined. These accounts are for different things such as groceries, family fun, kids' activities home repair, etc. And then we both have our own accounts that the other has no say about how we spend that money. The amount that goes in there has changed throughout the years.

[@geeeenaa]

Can you do a mother vs fiance: who knows me better? video?

[@AjaDang]

aw! cute idea!

[@geeeenaa]

@@AjaDang :)

[@johannayoo1176]

Fertility is such a hard topic especially because WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. After I got married, I started looking into my fertility because we knew we'd begin trying within a few years, and let me tell you..."sex education" is full of shit. Not only just knowing your current fertility, but realizing how much of a miracle it is to get pregnant in the first place is so frustrating. I could rant forever about this.

[@randi17888]

I know most people don’t do it this way these days, but my husband and i joined our accounts together ever since we got engaged. Neither of us have separate accounts. I understand why most people choose not to do this for security and independence reasons, but for me personally I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. We have the same money goals that we agree on and contribute to the same investment accounts and worked on paying off our debt together at the beginning of our marriage. I love being on a team with our finances and always working on things together. I hear a lot of coworkers and friends have disagreements about finances with their partners (and they separate everything). My parents have always shared everything as well and it always worked for them, but they are still married and I know that is unrealistic to expect for everyone. My husband and I know that if something ever happened that we would both be comfortable splitting things 50/50. We have been married for 7 years now and that’s what works for us. I think everyone’s situation is different.

[@iesboo]

yup! we have our own checking accounts and joint checking (for bills), joint savings, and joint investment. we also have individual retirement savings, IRA, 401k. we love betterment (online access only) for it all! easy to transfer everything in between accounts.

[@katuschki]

We do the same: we have a joint account where we contribute both for food and the stuff we share. And then we have our own accounts for the personal spendings. I like it that way. Especially if it’s two people handling money very differently…

[@Dmarie1078]

When we got engaged we just combined everything into one account. In that account we have our business account & personal account. We both have cards & do a budget meeting each week.

[@kylatucci]

We have our own chequing and savings accounts for individual goals, but also have a few joint accounts. We have one joint sinking fund specifically for our bills, and a few different joint savings accounts for goals as a couple (investments, properties, vacations, etc.) It’s whatever works for your lifestyle and relationship!

[@StephCza]

Don’t worry about not being super pumped while dress shopping! I went to two places and when I tried in the one I liked I looked in the mirror in the fitting room after I put it on and was like, “alright, I like this dress” and that was it! Lol

[@amac0190]

Nope - separate bank accounts. But we don't struggle financially, so our hobby spending habits are not an issue for us. We talk about major purchases, who will cover what bill and when, if one of us needs money for something, etc. It works for us just fine. I think joint accounts work for people that really need to manage money together but for us, I'd be nitpicking every starbucks or computer part purchase he makes, and he'd come after me for my own Starbucks or Skincare. Not worth the fighting. We don't spend more than we make, pay ourselves(savings) and our bills first, and the rest is fun money.

[@emiliabolsas]

Buying a home with a Chase mortgage when I already had Chase accounts made the process quite a bit easier. While their savings rates are “meh,” I have been very, very happy with my financial advisor and related benefits like no ATM fees. I have a separate online banking account with another institution for savings and some unrelated investment accounts, too.

[@mizzp7]

My husband and I went that route with our finances. We have our own individual accounts and a joint that's for bills and anything we do together. That has been out system since we were dating and first moved in together. This works well for us for all the reasons you brought up. We still have our own influence while being able to pay current bills and save for the future.

[@mooretessie]

My husband and I contribute 30% each of our monthly paychecks to a join account. It covers our mortgage/utilities/groceries/dog expenses. We talk to each other if the unexpected happens and it's necessary to contribute more. We are good personal budgeters so we pad our personal accounts for the in case events :)

[@desireefernandes-johnson3814]

Your reaction to wedding dress shopping is like mine. I was so underwhelmed and I have definitely not found a dress yet either.

[@Mariah-ek5iu]

I felt the same exact way about dress shopping. I hated it and it was not enjoyable. I ended up overspending on the dress, which I regret.

[@AlliNW0nderland.]

Lol you and Brian are like me and my fiancé lol I’m a Chase girl and he’s a BoA lover lol

[@jessicathao]

I’ve heard couples have a joint account where both incomes go in there and bills get paid from the joint, then they transfer what’s needed to their own separate accounts for their own goal savings/usage(retirement/secret birthday holiday gifts). I plan to do this in the near future with my spouse.