Advice To My Pre-Transition Self

[@P5238c]

I’m still in that phase of being accepting of all trans people but myself

[@pamelaJoyce384]

KaleKid you will get there!!!

[@jishwaisdunwithtyjo6356]

Me too

[@tonicar7430]

KaleKid Dude, same

[@micah1094]

Damn I thought that was only me

[@__-do7rq]

So are my parents :))))))))))

[@Foxtrotlima73]

First up, I am a straight cis female. Secondly I am learning day by day to be a better ally. Thirdly, I am in a wheelchair and this is the bit I want to talk about. The toilet issue. If it is stressing anyone out to the point of not going out - use the disabled loo! We are a friendly lot and very understanding, more so than you would probably realise. You don't have to be in a wheelchair to use the disabled loo and if it gets you out of the house during the early stages of your transition - GO FOR IT!!! Please don't think for one minute I am saying that being trans is a disability as I know it isn't, I am just trying to think of a solution whereby you might be able to get out a bit more in those early stages. Much love 🌈

[@e.s.lavall9219]

Much love to you too! Great to hear, but I worry that though most of you are understanding, I worry that you're not speaking for all disabled people.

[@Envy_May]

This might be something to consider, but it is supposed to be the "accessible" toilet, which seems separate to "disabled" to me although still inclusive? Could be wrong though.

[@morganstiefvater2019]

After like six months of using my new name all of the time, I went to Starbucks (a rare occurrence) and gave them my birth name, because I was just really anxious (meeting with an old friend and also general social interactions), and it sucked. Being misgendered, especially by yourself, is really uncomfortable and sad and painful, but it really doesn't mean anything. Your gender is what you feel it is, and no one's perception of it changes a damn thing.

[@AS-fj7ox]

If you have a problem with your gender seek help. Messing up your body ends really bad. You will never be the opposite side ever. Sorry. It’s a fact. Seek help it’s not the end of it.

[@wolfdynamite2916]

I would tell my younger self to keep being persistent because it wasn’t a phase and I deeply regret it, great video Jamie

[@RoachyChameleon]

I think the most important thing on this list for me was the non-exclusivity of gender identity and gender expression. I cross-stitch, I have for nearly a year now, and I worry that doing so will undermine my being a man. But having a "feminine" hobby (or a hobby more associated with femininity) doesn't mean anything in relation to my gender. It's nice to be told that by someone else, cuz I always worry about it

[@lukassimontm3546]

I cross-stitch, too! 😂 I find it calming and it's kinda creative but you also have an instruction how to go about it so you won't mess up. For me it's perfect. When I'm drawing I always feel like it's not good enough. When I cross-stitch, I know if I did it right, if that makes sense.

[@tobeliame3154]

Thank you for the advice. I'm pre-T and patience is coming so hard for me as I try to kick start medical transition. And while I've socially transitioned (still working on updating wardrobe), the misgendering is constant because I just look female no matter how I pack or bind. Your encouragement is very much appreciated.

[@bravodevdas]

Tobe Liame totally relatable! Even after changing my wardrobe I get misgendered 🤦‍♂️ but before we know it that'll be behind us, goodluck and stay patient 🙂

[@athena_the_goddesss6238]

Hang in there friends

[@MaxWell-fi7rc]

I’m in a very similar place brother. I can’t get a binder or change my name legally, but I’m out to everyone I know. It’s gonna get better and we’ll pull through it.

[@Liam-yw3jy]

It’s been a while, how are you now ?

[@Prickly_Cactus_1993]

It's been a couple years, how are you these days?

[@vilburbur]

Thank you Jamie, a lot. Just for existing and being such a sunbeam and amazing creature but especially for this video. When you're battling and feeling dysphoric day after day, week after week, not making "any process" can feel like forever. I find myself living just for a dates I don't even know yet and moments that I still have no idea about. I count days even tho I don't know how many there is left. It's exhausting, and silly. You said "you'll get there" so wholesome way I had to stop the video for a sec. I will get there. I truly will. And if those teenage angst -years between 12-14 feel like nothing today, I know this waiting and suffering will fade away within years too. I may feel bad, but I can also enjoy the journey and learn on my way. Cross my path patiently with friends and family and just know that one day I will get in the place I wanted. Thank you. Everything good for you ☀💛

[@pamelaJoyce384]

Jamie, first off hair looking great! You have educated me so much about Trans people and the community. Because of people who educate we will have a much kinder, understanding society. Also, there is an amazing Therapist in you. You information is relatable to people if all sexual orientations and genders. Thank you. Keep doing what you do. Love to Shabba xoxo

[@Jammidodger]

Pamela Shore Thank you, this means a lot

[@taklampa6197]

Eyyy I just started on “period blockers” I’m really haaaaaaappy.

[@e.s.lavall9219]

Wait what, what are they, how can I get them? (I will have googled by the time you answer but I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND JEALOUS AT THE SAME TIME)

[@illusion_of_time]

E. S. Lavall they are called puberty blockers

[@illusion_of_time]

E. S. Lavall I had them through my gender doctor. But maybe you can get them an other way

[@taklampa6197]

Dallas Wusten Naaa mine is called vinelle mikrog something

[@cama1689]

Changed my name Don’t know why I have a long name congrats I am so happy for you!!!!!🎉🎊🎉🎉

[@salkittenFA]

im not crying, YOURE CRYING. honestly, um, I needed to hear this.

[@adioshra]

i came out 5 yrs ago and i still haven't started medical transitioning. i hold every word you said tightly because most of the days are dark and i don't really believe i will become who i need to be. so i'm hanging in there, day by day

[@MadAliceInWonderland]

I'm a trans male. The patience thing is actually very helpful for me atm. I'm 18, just graduated from an all girl's high school, and I was all hyped up to start hrt. But with issues with my family, and not being able to find a place that would do it atm, everything seemed to come crashing down, because I want it so bad right now, and I started freaking out that it was never gonna happen. But yeah, thanks, I realize, thinking about it, that it will happen eventually, I should get settled in college and other life stuff first though. haha

[@cooperklippenstein7795]

Taking it slow and a baby step at a time was the best advice that I received. Also not stressing too much if things don't go exactly when or how you wanted.

[@bigidiotenergytm]

i'm pre-t, my parents are slowly learning to accept that i need to transition, and i'm slowly coming out to my college. it seems pointless, and a very difficult path -- but things like this is exactly what i need to hear and what other people like me need to hear as well. thank you for being such an inspiration.

[@athena_the_goddesss6238]

I'm about three years past the beginning and I really want to hand lil me the understanding I have now, cause I justified resisting physical transition and standing up for myself for two years. And to be more confident and not assume that people around you hate you.

[@nekoites]

Really needed to hear this right now. Thank you Jamie!

[@Jammidodger]

Anohm

[@milosis7]

I’m already a year into my physical transition and this video was still so helpful, thank you 🙏🏼

[@whatgenderami]

Thanks. Advice I'd give to my pre transition self: yes medically transitioning will help, but you still have to put in work and effort as well...no one thing is a magic fix for everything

[@sagepeterson1094]

You helped me come out. I look up to you so much! And since I've come out, I've been on T for almost a year and next week i get top surgery!!

[@liefygreens]

Thanks so much Jamie

[@naturalenquiry]

this video just made me think of the times when i would watch ur videos on incognito mode on my phone in the bathroom when i was a baby tran in the closet lool aww

[@enbyishimaru]

I'm three years into my transition and this advice is definitely still helpful for someone already on T. Much love Jamie!

[@henmaydostuff8338]

your comment about deadnaming yourself is soooo validating, thank you, I've struggled with that

[@lawwrennn]

Hey Jamie and Shaaba. I watched Pride and Prejudice and it’s made me love you both even more. The respect Jamie has for Shaabas mum is admirable, the show made me really proud of you both. What you stand up for is incredible, and I can’t begin to imagine what struggles you both have been through. Let love rule!

[@wolfman75]

I forget some of this, so glad for the reminder!! Thank You so much Brother!! Much Love!!

[@shawnstevens461]

Thanks again for always being honest about everything. So appreciate that very much.

[@zenith6772]

Got my first clinic appointment next week, I was so happy when I got the letter!! Can't wait!

[@stayforthepeelpronpls4774]

Hey Charles how has it gone 2 years later?♥️

[@zenith6772]

@@stayforthepeelpronpls4774 I'm 1 year 4 months on T, on a wait list for top surgery 😄 going p good thanks!

[@stayforthepeelpronpls4774]

@@zenith6772 wow sounds amazing

[@lasergoose1024]

Just watching this now... I'm pre-everything and really scared to come out, your videos are so positive and happy. Thank you

[@conmanjammin]

Thank you so much for making a video like this. I’m still pretty far in the closet and this helped me start to come to terms with some things that were bothering me. I really love your videos and thank you for being so honest.

[@Fleetato]

Makes me feel better knowing you started transitioning at 17 means I still have a year to figure shit out hopefully

[@lukassimontm3546]

There are people starting their transition in their 50's. 😉 Though it's great if you can go about it early - it's never too late! I started when I was 27.

[@haydenjakob5880]

take a shot every -time- he says "time" lmaoo

[@dodiekoehler5256]

I love this haircut! It looks great on you! Much more mature and masculine.

[@vaughendustries]

You and I are both bad with numbering things! Lol I really appreciate the advice, and it really helps me to hear these things from another guy. Thank you my dude.

[@dumbshit4996]

This is really helpful. I’m not out, and I won’t come out till I’m in college, and I was expecting just to be completely abandoned by everyone, and be as scared as I am now. I don’t want to be alone in my transition.

[@JO3YSworld]

Jamie is my favourite youtuber especially for his honesty and positivity relating to gender topics - you've helped me so much on my transition to feel better about myself

[@LilithsOwn303]

Me watching this in Oct 2020 and being amazed how much you changed!! You were much more serious and crazy enough your voice sounds a little lower in 2018. Anyhow you were already good looking back then, but I like you best with your yellow top-hair in 2020 - love ya!

[@SarahGosse-n8h]

Hellooo! I'm Rory, 30 years old ftm and have struggled with my gender for years. I had it on the back burner for a few years aws well, but I finally have an appointment with my Nurse Practioner in 18 days to talk about my options for starting T and getting top sergery. I am pre everything and only out to some people. I have been on the fence for a looooong time about T but I already know that I want top sergery. Your videos are supporting me in not feeling so overwhelmed. Thank you so much formaking these videos!

[@crazycanuckmick]

LOVE the shorter hair!!! It's SO handsome! You seriously look like a model.

[@kianconnorwolf56]

Thanks for the advice. It really helps to hear certain things regularly, cuz you forget them in the day to day craziness!

[@sariannach]

Thank you so much, @Jammidodger - this is exactly what I needed to hear today. It's been a physically painful and brainweasally dysphoric day for me, but sitting here sobbing (which is not so easy on T!) as you tell me it's going to be okay, and believing you, has helped more than I can even explain. Thank you.

[@Stereorainx]

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this video. I've been socially transitioned for the past 6 years, but because of family reasons, I haven't been able to medically transition the way I wanted to. Just last week, I legally changed my name and gender marker and it was equal parts relieving and terrifying. Relieving because hell yes, I'm legally my correct gender now. Terrifying because, fuck, having to be super worried about passing in places where I need to present my ID is going to be at best annoying and at worst a nightmare. Even though it kind of sucks, I'm kind of glad to know that the journey's not always going to have stops that I'm obligated to enjoy. Also, the bits where you talked about how waiting in the grand scheme of things isn't too big a deal and to not compare myself to others were things I really needed to hear. I'm about to hit my mid 20s and had been planning on starting hormones before the end of the year, but my mom asked me to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding in two years. It's a massively important thing for my parents, and I know how much it would mean to them for me to do that, but I'm also frustrated that I'm probably going to end up having to put off my transition for even longer. tldr; thanks so much for putting out this video. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this stuff, so it was really comforting and helped me feel at ease with some of the more difficult parts of my transition.

[@Kaythedood]

You rock Jamie! Love the new video :)

[@vilet918]

I'm 17 and just came out... Thank you, I needed this ❤️😁

[@jamesbyebi292]

I’m on T now and I have one super supportive parent (my mom) and one meh parent (my dad). My mom has been there for me since the beginning meanwhile my dad forced me out of the closet and just now started gendering me correctly-sometimes-since I came out (which was over a year ago). Idk sometimes it’s hard but the best advice is just to give it time. This goes out to any people in a similar situation; just give it some time.

[@francisluke4739]

my mum phoned tavistock and has agreed to get a gp appointment for me to ask for a referral on Tuesday. I am so happy that my medical transition is even on the cards 🌈😊

[@LittleMrsSuger]

Hi haven’t even finished the video yet but ily

[@novaksity1816]

same

[@mattrich8504]

im 19 n pre-T n came out to my dad (badly) yesterday n happened upon your channel by chance during my trans guy reassurance youtube rabbit hole this morning, and like, thank you??? this is really lovely n like i deffo have been pushing myself more than im comfortable with as the scared-of-change little flower i am n like, idk thanks? i'll be trying to incorporate some of this stuff into my life n i wanted to thank you

[@rcarpenter1217]

Honestly a lot of this list is just good advice in general. Working hard for our successes, goals, and truths is such a journey. Love your channel, and keep up this amazing source of inspiration for the trans community

[@warlikepoet]

I really needed this video today. I have a GP appointment on Friday to ask to be referred so this is great timing. Thank you!

[@Gamergirl4000-q3q]

Thank u jamie for these tips these help so many other people like me

[@alexchung3716]

honestly I am sort of jealous of Jamie, he have a supportive family that at least don't block him from becoming who he is. *Sigh* I guess my transition just need a very long time to wait for

[@stayforthepeelpronpls4774]

Hey Alex it’s been two years. How’s the transition going?

[@grey8288]

Mad respect for trans women who use the women's restroom. I used to use the women's room before I started using the men's (I'm a trans guy) and I was super androgynous but still identified as a female. It was rare that I would go through the restroom without weird looks. Best case scenario someone says I'm in the wrong restroom, worst case scenario a woman is threatening to call security on me while I'm waiting to pee. I've been threatened with jail time and physical violence, all while being biologically female in the women's restroom. If you use the women's restroom and see a trans or androgynous person being harassed, please speak up. Don't ask for their ID or try to force them to show that they're "a real woman", and don't let someone else do this. The poor girl just needs to pee. Same goes for trans guys, because while I have yet to have an incident in the men's restroom, a lot of defensive men are more likely to jump to physical violence rather than threaten you. I have had double glances from some scary looking guys and even had a guy try to sneak a peek when I was using a urinal (I have an EZP (a really nice device that lets me pee standing up)) but those occurrences are extremely rare and most of the time I'm around male friends who would back me up without hesitation.

[@PerfectProtagonist]

4:30 That's the term! Deadnaming!

[@whatgenderami]

Haven't finished watching yet, but absolutely LOVE the tip about it being okay to not like certain aspects of transitioning and that doesn't make me less valid or less trans

[@danielmckeirnan1102]

Any tips on getting used to responding to your new name? Cause i respond only after like the 2nd or 3rd time

[@isaackleijn3231]

Daniel McKeirnan for me it just took time and getting used to it, after like 3 months it started feeling normal and stuff

[@aaronoliver9075]

It took me a couple of months

[@reubenbryant]

I starts to feel normal gradually. The more people say it and you say it to other people helps. It took me a couple of months. At first people used to say El-Reuben (my birth name began El...) so I responded to the first bit but heard both. And gradually as my friends learnt, so did I.

[@thekingalaric]

It comes with time honestly it took me about 2 yrs.

[@bravodevdas]

For me repeating it in my head and practicing signing it and reading it helped me within a few wks, but before you know it you'll get used to it 😃

[@arlenemartin8644]

Thank you so much for all of your videos. I love the information you share in all of your videos. You spread love and light and inspire me!

[@ab-tx4ww]

thank u jamie for ur kind words

[@kittjennings3233]

I needed to hear all of this, it’s so important. Thank you ❤️

[@Richard-Bullock]

I truly believe that nothing worthwhile is ever easy. The more you struggle to achieve your hearts desire, the more you appreciate it when you finally have it.

[@illusion_of_time]

Great advice jamie, really real and great to the point. You just told how it is.

[@spideytrans421]

I really needed to hear that second one

[@Jammidodger]

[@frostywolf9368]

Hi I love your content

[@hillarycourchaine6829]

The advice I would have given myself is that if I knew back then that I was trans masculine Ftm. And if I had the right language for how I felt inside instead of figuring out later in life. But all that I can say is that it's never to late to find out. If anyone think that it is just know that life will get better throughout your transition process. And just know that I care and support you. Even though I don't know you . Just know that I support and respect your choices in life.❤❤❤🌈🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈❤❤

[@nightcrysalin]

I want to transition and do all the stuffs, but I'm scared of the whole surgery thing. I'm 20 years old and came out to my mum 2 years ago, but neither of us have spoken about it since. Sometimes she'll call me the name I've renamed myself when we're alone, but as far as that, nothing. I also have a younger sibling in the same situation as me, he's the only person I'm really comfortable talking to about it, because I know he understands.

[@polipolinesia]

I love your videos. You seem like such an adorable and nice person. It's heartwarming to see how far you've come and how happy you are now. Wish you and Shaaba all the happiness in the world 💜 Lots of love from Argentina, Jamie!

[@Jammidodger]

Paula Jaunarena aw thank you so much! Wishing you all the best

[@Oliver-ob8pc]

This is really helpful, especially as I'm coming out at school this academic year (in a month and a bit), thank you!

[@fanuticXsison16]

Im actually really scared that this is only a phase. I havent even said it to my self outloud. I dont know how to be sure that its real. What if im wrong and i decide that it was a phase too late? I couldnt live with the guilt, of already telling everyone and then changing my mind. My mom wouldnt let me live through it. I just dont wanna mess up. Dont wanna give them a reason to belive even more that im just a changing teen. Bc im young, so everything i say will change over time. I give myself cringe lol. I just want to get away from this country and live again in a new one where no one knows me. Where i didnt have to talk to anyone, where i wouldnt have to tell my inexisting name to no one . Where no one would treat me diferent if i was what i think i am, and hell. Maybe i am just not secure about my body idk, but its not like i hate bc im fat, its just not for my head. Maybe im just overthinking and when im older ill see all the things i wrote and laught at myself for beeing no naive.

[@novaksity1816]

hi thank you for the video

[@kodyparis7521]

You went from Jamie to James. Nice haircut. And good advice.

[@gazepskotzs4]

Love the short hear! I know it is an old vid, but just had to mention.

[@sorren0_0.30]

I really appreciate this❤️

[@PruNiichan]

thank you very much for this video, it's so helpful! I really can relate to the impatience part xD waiting to finally start with T can be really depressing on some days

[@lucboeke1931]

in my country, I have to be on a two/three year waiting list, then go through a 2 year diagnostic test before getting on T. Maybe it wont matter in the long run, but if i dont come out now i will be adult by the time i start my transition. it suffocates me to think ill never have a youth as a boy...

[@romywhite290]

For some reason I am a Cis woman who watches your videos? I have a loose reason, but i stumbled upon you and you've got a nice personality. Also I gave you a high 10.

[@kieraschannelkiera2915]

Heyy Jammi I followed you on Instagram and turned on post notifications on yt and instagram

[@maxwilliams6093]

Been waiting almost two years now. ✌️ Around two / two and a half years left to go.

[@Mark-pl3bv]

I overall agree with what's been said, but I disagree on the very first one, a delay in transition can have a huge impact on the long run (scars, social issues, missed important opportunities, ....).

[@RyanMatt]

wow these are wise words, with depth

[@roberttbartlett3246]

Thank you so much for this video! I turn 17 this year so I’m trying to make time go faster until I’m 18 because I’m very impatient. I’m thinking about going privately because the NHS waiting list is about 12-18 months long.

[@Mr_Furr]

This helped me so much, thank you.

[@rheannab.4991]

Thank you for this

[@heckinborkk]

I came out as Non Binary nearly 2 months ago - and non binary, trans-masculine a few weeks ago. It's really confusing and painful, the dysphoria and trying to figure out who I am as a person. Only my online friends use my pronouns - my family is trying hard to not use female pronouns which I appreciate. I relate to the inpatience, because of how wrong, distressed, and hateful of my body I am... I just want to feel ok.

[@Mr.Frog24]

I really want to start T and see a professional to talk about top surgery, but I'm so lost. I live in a really small town called Safford so there isn't much of anything here, I am only 16 so I can't do anything about it without a job (which I have been trying to get) and supportive family. My family is strictly religious and have harassed me mentally and physically since coming out as Trans and bisexual, I feel stuck, like I can only wait and see what happens.

[@biancakekoa1363]

Don’t stress! I came out recently (I’m 19) I waited until I was financially able to take care of myself before.. I made the right choice because now I don’t talk to any of my family. I live in a very conservative town and I was really nervous about medically transitioning but I have an appointment in regards to starting HRT on the 20th and once I’m ready for top and bottom surgery there’s a specialist in Portland. Don’t feel rushed

[@jayking5831]

I'm 17 and pre-transition to becoming a guy. Sometimes it's really hard not to get discouraged because my family is homophobic and transphobic but I know that someday (probably in my twenties) I'll be able to transition and be happy with my body

[@meganemt7474]

Love the hair cut. ❤️👍

[@pamelaJoyce384]

I just thought about a P. S. I hope someday if you ever chose to perhaps give lectures or some public speaking you come to the States. Pittsburgh Pa inparticular. We have many prestigious universities that would "kill" to have a speaker like you. Plus I'd get to hear you and perhaps shake your hand. Also, I saw you wearing a Pittsbugh Penguin Jersey in one Vlog. GO PENS! I'd love to find out how to send you a Pittsbugh Steelers Jersey. Please excuse my ramble but you and Shabba have become my idols!

[@SherlockConanHaibara]

I went to Israel and was not out to the group I went with, and swimming was.... interesting. I tried to use the disabled bathroom, but one place didn't have a disabled place and that was nervewracking...

[@sewmicah]

You know, I’d probably tell myself (myself from like... 7-9 months ago) to hold off on coming out and be sneakier. I came out way too early. First off I came out as trigender but it didn’t exactly fit but I used it anyways. Then there was also the fact that I KNOW my mom is extremely lgbtqia+ phobic. I knew she’d literally never except me because she’s so stubborn and strong in what she believes. I shouldn’t have come out. I should’ve made no moves towards transition and spaced things out more. That way when I asked for a binder it wouldn’t have been so bad. (I actually asked for the underworld binding sports bra. She was NOT happy.) I also should’ve waited a little bit because I only just in the last couple months figured out my identity. I was on the right track but still not right. I’m fluidflux so I wish I could’ve told myself that little tidbit too.

[@A-_-A.]

THANK YOU FOR THIS

[@trashman6996]

Thank you fam! Helps a lot :)

[@xxptaxxsky3560]

U are great

[@a.mysticpearl4146]

Hair looks great dude!

[@finn1079]

I am 17 and pre transition. Thank you!

[@finn1079]

@Sup .-. omg thank you for asking! i came out about one and a half years ago, i moved away from my parents and i'm now 8 months on T! i'm way more happy and confident in about every way compared to then :D

[@ivankavoutchkov650]

Hey this video was awesome!

[@bravodevdas]

Great video as always Jaime! I start T next month!!! 😆

[@AngelaR47]

Love the hair.

[@itsyaboipatrick1872]

Those 3 dislikes. I'm coming for you.

[@moosboeke2554]

I know maybe these years ill have to wait wont matter in the long run, but im currently going through puberty to everyday is a day i have a smaller chance of being who i want in the future :( If is started hormone blockers now id be able to get periareolar in the future but i can see that opportunity dripping down the drain and its a little upsetting. Great video though, thank you Jammi :)

[@MsBunny]

I'm a new sub! I love your video! I love your Channel to! I will give this vid a like! Mature and positive! You give good advice.People disliking that's messed up stay positive and accept how awesome this video is!

[@birdsnestfern5635]

Thank you SO much for this advice I love your videos when you try to help us so much. You make me not afraid to come out as a gay transmale to my homophobic father! I love you so much and keep living your life Jamie! 💖❤💛💚💙💜

[@Jammidodger]

Stupid Idiot Productions you're so welcome, I'm glad you love the videos :) Good luck with coming out when the time is right, I hope it goes as well as possible