The Secret to a Happy Life - Dr. Robert Waldinger

Dr. Robert Waldinger is Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Director of the Center for Psychodynamic Therapy and Research at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he is also a Zen priest. Learn more about Dr. Robert Waldinger at www.robertwaldinger.com/ To learn more about what makes a good life, check out the book, "The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness" by Robert Waldinger, MD and Marc Schulz, PhD.
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[@AfterSkool]

The results of this study really put life into perspective. When we are young, we are seduced by money & fame (The superficial), but in our final days on earth, the things that matter most are love, family, friends, experiences & connections. People on their death beds typically regret the things the did NOT do - Not enough time with family, not enough vacations, didn't express feelings enough, lost touch with close friends. These things are simple, easy and free. So pick up the phone and call the old fried you haven't talked to in years. Express love & gratitude for the people in your life. Share more experiences with them. In the end, that's what makes a good life. It was an honor to work with Dr. Robert Waldinger. Please check out his book, "The Good Life" and consider supporting After Skool on Patreon. Thank you! www.patreon.com/AfterSkool

[@VeganSemihCyprus33]

"People who suffer from the cognitive dissonance caused by taking the values, dogmas and rules of the technological civilization too seriously can never find peace within themselves. Therefore, the path to true happiness for the modern human passes from a sense of disdain towards the technological civilization." Extract from the book: The Connections (2023): kzbin.info/www/bejne/mJWYhKmJjaull8k

[@VeganSemihCyprus33]

Don't expect happiness when you contribute to this 👉 Dominion (2018)

[@VeganSemihCyprus33]

Veganism and this: The Connections (2021) [short documentary] 💖

[@j0.ZEF-Who]

not much here - bunch a rich guys wanted to watch a group of underprivileged kids - sounds like perverts to me this def. not philosophy my dude

[@AncientActivist]

I've always said that people on their death bed will never say, "I wish I had spent more time at the office."

[@phoenixrisin2269]

Enjoying peace and solitude is much different than being lonely.

[@devildiamond68]

Indeed, I concur

[@serenityjewel]

Enjoying peace and solitude is great - most introverts need that - and as long as they have healthy, supportive relationships they can access when needed, there's no harm in it. It's not either-or. It's both. Solitude and peace AND supportive relationships. Justifying not having healthy, loving relationships doesn't erase the facts - people without good relationships aren't happy and die earlier. I had crappy relationships and I finally walked away from all of them. I was so freaking lonely. But that void left space for healthy people and awesome relationships to come in. I started doing group activities I loved and reached out to the supportive, fun, interesting people that I met and walked away from people who weren't healthy for me. I also work on my codependency, people pleasing, lack of boundaries, and learned how to identify relationship red flags. It's been a year and now I have the best relationships I've ever had in my life and I'm still focused on meeting good people and having even more strong, supportive relationships. Your past interactions with others don't have to determine your future interactions.

[@doneicecampbelldority]

@@serenityjewelthis right here gives me hope, am not saying am perfect but the relationships that I’ve gained over the years was toxic cause who I pretend to be but now that I got better and I don’t do the things that I used to do I don’t think they can see me. I think they still see the old me. so it’s hard to be around it

[@juanmiguelfrissatessa1950]

💯👍❤️‍🔥

[@jc2386]

The energy an time is a hard thing to balance when it comes down to people and just being around today's mindset of stress , trial and tribulations. It better off being at peace than to be disturbed.

[@alexeilesukov6624]

For us introverts, being with others drains us of our energy. I'm 60, never married, live alone, a simple humble life, totally devoid of drama, go to the gym often, and overall, I'm content with my life. The older I get, the more I realize that life is too short to be angry, bitter, resent of others, or life itself. If I wake up alive, I give thanks and live that day like it was my last.

[@LAUGHINGBUDDHA-dw7km]

[@YesMan-mf9jg]

I think you have low expectations and that is

[@hobiwater5807]

Bless u.

[@One-Ring-To-Rule-Them-All]

Finally somebody addresses this! All the time they tell us "you have to have relationships!" I spent years wasting my energy with other people thinking something is wrong with me, because I have no need for this. I turned 40 and said enough of this! I stopped all but very very few relationships and I have NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. Please stop telling everybody the same thing. People are different and some of us don't need relationships to be happy ❤

[@jaihindu8817]

​@@One-Ring-To-Rule-Them-Allagreed

[@SoFloSoFawny]

My 36 year old daughter-in-law sent me your video and said after she watched it she realized she needs to establish more friendships and socialize more. She asked me to watch it. Now I am forwarding it to my friend I’ve known since birth… she turns 70 this month and says she hasn’t kept up with her friendships since before covid. She stays at home mostly and her significant other is busy with his men’s club. I am worried about her. Although she has pets tgat keep her busy, I’m thinking what she really needs is more friends to socialize with. That will be my mission thank you for this post and continuing the research study.

[@gourmetburger4604]

there is a difference between being alone, and being lonely. I am happy being alone, and im never lonely being with myself. Your bestfriend should be yourself. We are born alone and we die alone. But still try to socialize, make friends and keep sharing with your family/friends

[@jml7429]

I 100% believe this to be true. As a extremely lonely person and in my early 50s, I can attest that my health has declined rapidly. Unfortunately not all of us even have the capability or capacity to be in a relationship(s) (friends, family or romantic). This is a very interesting long term study and kudos to the Drs that are doing it. Where this presentation falls short is the idea that lonely people are doing it by choice. I can assure you, we are not.

[@FeedEgg]

Oh god this is so ridiculously true my dog died recently and I feel it, he made my life soooooo much better just by existing I miss him feels like my soul is missing a part of it.

[@weirdo_wolfie]

I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a fuzzy friend is never easy.

[@majo3796]

I am sorry for your loss. I lost two dogs in my life and only thing I can say is that it is really, really hard to get over it. It will take some time. Stay strong.

[@Atlas65]

I'm sorry about your loss. We can love animals as we can love people. Even though we can't have a conversation with them, like we can with people - It shows that love is much more mysterious than we realise. We think that we love our friends, partners, because we share similar interest. At lest when we look for a partner (I.E. looking for love) We have preferences which need to be met. One of those preferences is that we share the same interests, when those things aren't what ignites love. Sorry getting of topic. I was just supporting the idea how hard it can be to loose a pet. Because for some they can love them as much as another human being.

[@JWayne-ej4jy]

You must get another pet !! Too quiet There's a dog praying for you now. Find it I wish u the best I'm praying for you too

[@FeedEgg]

Wow thank you I did his name is moon and he's a jack Russel terrier I absolutely adore him!

[@hbdrumma]

It’s hard to avoid loneliness in these modern times. I seek new connections but everyone is usually too busy working or chasing $ to even care

[@feel_it_to_heal_it9654]

Exactly! So true😢

[@AtTheDoor]

This one really struck a chord on me. Raised more questions than answers. I’m in a point in my life where I decided to move away from my country (Brazil), away from my closest friends and all my family members, in pursuit of the unknown, the adventure of life, better “quality of life”, more security, an international environment and to explore the world. That’s why I came to europe. And even though I don’t regret my choice, is very tough to deal with loneliness. To know I’m far away from everyone. That if I fall in love and raise a family here, my kids will be far from their grandparents, uncles, cousins…(at least from my side). That I won’t be there for my friends biggest moments. Of course I can build relationships, friendships, and bring my family closer to me, but all of that takes too much time. I have to be patient. But at the same time, I feel this urge to go back after a while to be closer to the ones I love the most. But people you meet create the paradise you find, I might meet amazing people in the following years… Let’s see how life unfolds, but still, burning questions on my mind. EDIT (5 months later): following my gut and embracing the unknown was the best decision for my life. After a while, although hard, I’ve learned to embrace loneliness and cultivate self-love, and I’m truly truly happy, even though I miss my loved ones every day.

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@leonard, that is a hard dilemma for sure. I hate for you to have any regrets. If you have a big family, who loves you, I’d think long and hard before creating a new life elsewhere. But, if living in your home country is depressing, then that’s worth a lot too. I’d just make it a priority to stay in touch with everyone by phone/FaceTime. I pray it all works out for you!! 🙏🏻

[@darkdrift0r124]

I feel you man. I'm stuck with this dilemma too but there are always new friends to be made just have an open mind!

[@Muninn801]

You're going to REALLY miss people if you have kids.

[@chantallew8146]

I think it's super fulfilling and enriching to make new connections, especially far from home with people from other cultures. I've stayed far from home recently, for only 3 months, but some of the people I met there were so warm and loving to me, they already feel like family and now it's like I have a second home there. Your people back home will always be there for you, though from a distance, I'm sure you can always count on them when you need them and there's always the option to go back. I don't think you'll regret trying this new path, worst case, if it doesn't make you happy, you go back to Brazil eventually.

[@vt6653]

I think loneliness is a state of mind - you can be alone and not lonely. By the sounds of it you still have high quality relationships just at a long distance. In your case, you are young and made a decision to explore the world and grow as a human. I don't envisage any detrimental impact on you health and quality of life from this endeavour you chose. Building new relationships take time and should be left to happen organically, never force anything in life or the universe will kick back at you. I have known about this study for 2 decades now and I think a lot of people are actually misunderstanding these research findings and are creating undue anxiety in their heads, not least because the researchers are doing a fairly poor job of explaining the nuisance of the results.

[@spencer4713]

I can’t express my gratitude for this channel. I was so lucky to find you guys in high school. Growing up watching your videos has taught me so much over the years. Forever grateful❤️❤️❤️

[@chefgiovanni]

Exercise and an active lifestyle are half of the equation. Start eating clean. Eat fruits, lean meats, egg whites, no yolks. You would benefit from watching our Master Chef's cooking videos. Who wants to live longer? Learn more superfoods and recipes. 🥙🍳🍝🍎🍓🍇🫐

[@jadioj]

This art work is award worthy

[@michaelyolch79]

I’d say that over 3 million subscribers is a pretty good award!

[@RikisVlogs]

Loneliness is one of the hardest things. I am a first generation immigrant, only my parents came here, and we settled in a majority white small town. I didn’t make friends; or felt close to anyone, and now that I am adult working from home, and right now it is the toughest phase of loneliness I am going through. I feel it affecting me, I need people.

[@DeathrashWhiplash]

Where from?

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@ellie, oh no. 😔 Please give the people in your town a chance! I am white and am friends with people of different ethnicities, and I love people from other countries who come to my country. ❤

[@Kansascitydraws]

Go out to a local bar on Friday and Saturday night u will surely meet some good people, live A little and quit hiding inside the hpuse

[@JWayne-ej4jy]

Go volunteer somewhere that interest you. !! It will open a whole new world of good people. Do it

[@user-sr9se8pd1d]

I always tell my children this 98% of your happiness is whom you choose as choose as a life partner Dr. Phil had this topic on his show when I was a teenager 30 years ago and it still rings true today and that is what you were discussing in this video. Be careful who you marry I tell it to my children every single day and this is coming from somebody who is happily married 33 years everything you say is true if you pick the right marriage partner, you really can’t get through anything in life and believe me we have been through tragedy and we are still plugging along strong.

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

8:55 This is such an interesting point! *Be with someone you can count on-who you know will be there for you in hard times!* If you’re blessed enough to find someone like that, that is!

[@ericrawson2909]

I never get lonely, I have always gone to pubs if I need company. Work hard, play hard has suited me. 68 and still studying, designing and building, gardening, travelling, charitable work for the local community. Fill your life with activities if you want to be happy. Being financially comfortable is a huge help, I don't believe I would be a tenth as happy if I was poor. It would stop me doing so many things. Life was great until the whole world went totally insane in 2020. I have never been so angry and unhappy because all the authoritarian stuff was obviously doing more harm than good. I don't think I can be happy again until the truth stops being censored and denied, because I fear they will do it all again.

[@katiekane5247]

You must NOT let them have your happiness! I'm older & struggle trying to maintain my joy given the absolute insanity I see. We can't let their agenda of constant fear porn & divisive rhetoric meant to keep folks unsettled & more willing to accept increasingly invasive surveillance, less unity among people & measures meant to prevent personal happiness as "protection" against the crisis dejour control our joy. I grieve for what I believed our county to be, it was possibly lost even before I was born. It's really not right vs left, black vs white or even Americans vs Russians. It's right vs wrong & wrong has been quietly allowed to bloom into an all encompassing force unto itself. What will be left for our kids & grands? Not the happy, healthy productive lives we've enjoyed I'm afraid.

[@diplomatamaravilhosa2813]

Just get some therapy… you are focusing on the wrong things

[@evasco1979]

I was very happy during the pandemic, I met my now husband, I still traveled (I was vaccinated), life continued. I don't know why you are so focused on it, people already let go of it altogether.

[@ericrawson2909]

@@evasco1979 I am focused because the crime is ongoing, and I fear further onslaughts on our freedom.

[@ericrawson2909]

@@evasco1979 How can you let go when there are do many non-covid excess deaths, especially amongst the young?

[@hamdoolam]

The Kindom is within.. all day, when you feel offended or annoyed etc, subtract your soul from the moment, stand outside, and polarize the negative into a positive. Sombody behaves like a chimp? Feel empathy and speak light (with no attachment to their reaction, attach to God's reaction) Not the opposite (frustrated and speaking darkness)The kingdom is within. Thats the key to happiness. Yw

[@johnrice1943]

Thank you. You speak Truth i needed to hear.

[@YouMessedUpDude]

Thank you for speaking the truth ❤ I needed the reminder

[@TiniestKelp]

This saved my life. Ong

[@joshuadaniels8968]

The kingdom of higher self is definitely within who soever seek the kingdom first and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you ❤💯

[@TiniestKelp]

@@joshuadaniels8968 God's kingdom is beautiful. May She reign eternally and Her love touch every human heart

[@heyreflect.O]

I love hanging out with my pets. 1 social event is enough for me per week!

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@heyreflect, yes!! 1 is enough for me also. Introverts unite! 😀

[@joleaneshmoleane8358]

Same here. People ALWAYS disappoint. If it was even just 50/50 I’d take the chance, but it’s not. More like 70/30 bad for good. People need to admit when they’re wrong and say “I’m sorry”.

[@One-Ring-To-Rule-Them-All]

Well it is good relationships that matter and there is no better and purer relationship than with your fluffy friends ❤❤❤

[@harmony331000]

By far my favourite channel, I’ve never disliked a video, they are always great and entertaining, this was no different, thank you!

[@AfterSkool]

Awww Thank you!!

[@chrisme5440]

+1

[@harmony331000]

@@AfterSkool it’s the truth!

[@danishbutter1847]

there is no happy life or no sad life as they are just energies and elemental emotion we carry from time to time.

[@papablue3015]

My studies have found! 1.love! 2.feeling love! 3.giving love! 4.being in good relation ships!

[@FantasmaOlvidado1]

You have to be love first to receive it.

[@joleaneshmoleane8358]

And people have to apologize when they’re wrong.

[@papablue3015]

@@joleaneshmoleane8358 Agree! Hardest thing for people! And shouldn't be!

[@ktmggg]

The title of this should be The Secret to a Happy Life, For Men As a woman, most of this just doesn't apply. I've been unhappiest and most unproductive in intimate relationships. Being the "helpmate" and bearing most the responsibilities for housework - on top of managing a career - has done nothing but given me burnout. Women are still designated as the carers, nurturers, housekeepers and social secretaries, but it's maddening that we get so little of that in return. I'm happiest when single, with a pet to care for and limit the intrusion of other people in my life. Having interests outside of paid work - reading, attending art events, regular exercise, volunteering and travel - gives me more than enough human interaction. There are more people out here who like being by themselves, are happy and don't need to follow a script to find happiness.

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

👏🏻 So many great points and truth to this!!

[@sparkstudies1675]

Sounds like you just had terribly unequal relationships...?

[@mehdijakani5519]

You didn't get the point and you started complaining. The point is having great relationships not settling in an abusive one.

[@KatarinaS.]

I completely agree with you and have had more or less the same experience, both in my personal life, as well as seeing it in those around me. We're all different as to how much social interaction we want or need and some people are happiest to be completely on their own. I cherish my times of quiet solitude and enjoy my cats very much. Being around others is exhausting to me and I need plenty of time to be alone and regroup. We're not all wired the same, with the same emotional, physical, or social needs, and should live life accordingly.

[@indigowendigo8464]

​@@mehdijakani5519you don't listen. She had good relationships. They just weren't typical.

[@20hasbro]

I was about to skip this one since I'm pretty happy... But just love these videos

[@chimpinabowtie6913]

OH, GOOOOD FOR YOOOUUU!

[@SRS541]

@@chimpinabowtie6913😂😂

[@kristinLB]

I am an introvert. I’m in my 50’s. I moved to a cottage in the hills and it’s beautiful. But after two years I’ve noticed I’m not as happy. It’s to isolating. So I’ll move back to town. I’ll still be an introvert but at least I can be around people when I want to a lot easier. I also think it’s hard to make friends now, and sadly I feel like love is disposable anymore so I keep to myself.

[@One-Ring-To-Rule-Them-All]

I think your need for connection just has to match the actual connection you are getting. You probably found your ballance ❤

[@turtle_king1904]

Well done Dr. Waldinger, this study is very impressive. An insane amount of dedication and it really paid off. Thank you!

[@Paul-th9vr]

My life goal was to learn, learn how to do whatever I felt was interesting and required my attention and dexterity and physical ability. It never involved making money, or gaining notoriety, or anything that would elevate me in the eyes of others, just what satisfied me.

[@One-Ring-To-Rule-Them-All]

Same here. I just love learning new things ❤ and discovering places ❤

[@considerthis6889]

This here is wisdom. We are continually bombarded by media and large organizations that happiness is captured through self-centeredness and self-expression/identification. Then as a society we wonder why we keep coming up short of happiness (or it slips through our fingers like sand). It's always that one additional thing we need to achieve it. It's so good to hear this message... given it is the truth and the way we have been designed.

[@joleaneshmoleane8358]

Often time there’s only one thing people need to give or receive to make sure relationships are happy and healthy: apologies.

[@kapillantigua1504]

What a great video. I am 34 and I will take advantage of this advice as much as I can. Thank you very much.

[@zenstoryshare]

Finding solace in peace and solitude is distinctly different from experiencing loneliness. 0:22: Many young adults prioritize getting rich and becoming famous as major life goals. 2:43: The study has been tracking the lives of over 2,000 children since 1938, divided into two groups: Harvard College sophomores who served in WWII and boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods. 5:27: Good relationships are crucial for happiness and health. 8:13: Good relationships protect our bodies and brains, even in old age. 10:51: The good life is built with good relationships and there is only time for loving and not for bickering.

[@funkyhomosapien1]

Great video guys. Thanks Robert. I have always said I have never craved to be rich or famous just have my family, partner and kids around me and love them unconditionally and be happy. Seems to be working out for me now. I just turned 40 and have never been happier ❤ 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

[@romella_karmey]

1:30 can’t help but say that tiniest kid in red looks so cute. I don’t like kids but that one innocent kid makes me smile 😅

[@AnnaMishel]

Now, with the exponential increase in psychopathy, good reflationships are very rare

[@russianbot4418]

Plot twist: Turns out everyone is and always was Effed up and that is normal.

[@samwill5]

@@russianbot4418 no, its not normal, its a symptom of deep issues and imbalance in society, down to individual families

[@FantasmaOlvidado1]

sociopaths, psychopaths are those who are born, sociopaths are made.

[@joleaneshmoleane8358]

Yup! And people just don’t apologize when they’re wrong anymore. They just move on and wonder why you can’t. I can’t believe how often I see this in my practice now. How many people just need to say “I’m sorry. I was wrong. You were right. It won’t happen again.”.

[@joleaneshmoleane8358]

@@FantasmaOlvidado1 that’s true. For example, due to the last 6-7 years, and the especially the last 3 years, I find myself becoming MORE sociopathic. When everyone around you rid wrong but refuses to admit it and apologize it’s a good and rational coping mechanism to just stop caring about people altogether. It’s too disappointing. I find that the more I learn about the world and the true nature of people I have LESS empathy and LESS compassion.

[@marksandor2830]

Just amazing. “Nobody’s a failure who has friends.”

[@Teamshmo]

Very cool. Every study I have ever seen comes back with quality relationships as being the best thing ever. Crazy to think all of our technology and policies are instead making it harder and harder to connect with others

[@russianbot4418]

*I started doing what I loved doing as a hobby and it grew into a good highly profitable business* that has never felt like work. My work is fun, my customer bases are awesome and my growing friends base is full of amazing people. The problem is it brought out massive jealousy in my family (narcissistic parent and useful step idiot) and so far everything I make from my work just goes to endless legal battles with them as they try every way they can to take it and my lifes work from me because they feel that being my family entitles them to control me and my life and if they can't have that, I should have nothing ever again. What I do and love is now more just a means to an end to pay lawyers to keep my family at bay one more day due to how useless and or just broken and corrupt our law enforcement, legal and regulatory agency systems have proven to be. Not the lessons I wanted to learn from any of this.

[@VinOptimaxxx]

Useful step idiot 😂 look on the bright side - you could be doing something you hate just to be able to pay those legal fees

[@jamiececilielange5249]

That sounds horrible :/ Is there any way you could restart without them knowing? Make an extra business and close the first one without them knowing? Could you fake failing at it? Would moving to another place help maybe?

[@russianbot4418]

@@jamiececilielange5249 No. I'm into my business to the point I am a local pubic-level name now and picking up government and big industrial customers. I'm too far in to start over and they would just follow me and start their crap over again if I did.

[@Kansascitydraws]

What is your business?

[@russianbot4418]

@@Kansascitydraws I do specialty work inside the greater recycling industry.

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

Aww, great video. Like the Mark Twain quote said at the end, it’s really all about *L O V E.* As in, showing love to others. ❤ The truth is that, we cannot ultimately control whether or not we have quality, meaningful relationships, but we CAN control the love we show to others. If your heart is full of love for others, then your heart is full, and to me, a full heart is what gives meaning in life, and is probably what these people feel who have quality relationships. But don’t worry if you don’t have quality relationships, just never grow bitter, and make sure you have a heart full of love for others. Then, your heart will be full too. ❤❤❤

[@kirabarsmith9353]

Just don't show that love to toxic people, or else you become targeted. Discerning who deserves our love and who doesn't is very important from my personal experience.

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@kirabarsmith9353 True! 💔 If someone is evil, refuses to be helped, or just throws your love in the trash, it’s best to stay away. Don’t throw pearls before swine as the Bible says. Blessings to you! 🙏🏻

[@carlh-thehermitwithwi-fi679]

QUESTION! What about those who are happy to be alone, and are not lonely? There is a difference.

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@carl, yes, I wish these studies would factor in introverts! I still think it’s healthy though to have a few close friends and family bonds if possible. Even introverts typically need some social support.

[@diplomatamaravilhosa2813]

I’m assuming you still interact with people, at least in a comment section on a you tube video right?

[@diplomatamaravilhosa2813]

@@PeaceIsYeshuain what time stamp they mention the studies only applies to extroverts? Or the research was done only on extroverts?

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@diplomatamaravilhosa2813 I don’t recall that they did. Since 75% of the population are extroverts, and since they didn’t specify, I’m making a logical assumption that most in the study were extroverts? This is typically the case. :) P.S. I now see that you are trolling people here. Why be that person? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@dernawatipadang4270]

Many of history's great spiritual thinkers where loners 😊

[@VikingVic76]

No truer words have I heard on KZbin, and yet such a common wisdom is rare today

[@ModernJewelryMakers]

It would be interesting to do this on women - it also appeared it wasn’t very diversified - so it would be awesome to see this more well rounded

[@123prestolee]

It’s impossible for me to be more isolated than I want to be. Peace comes from within.

[@benjaminholm2311]

Yes, relationships are very difficult. It's important to persist and not give up out of frustration.

[@joleaneshmoleane8358]

If only people knew how to admit they were wrong and apologize, the rest would fix itself in most cases. To have healthy relationships people need to apologize for being wrong.

[@benjaminholm2311]

@joleaneshmoleane8358 Yep, but sometimes it's hard to admit we are wrong. Or in the other case what if you aren't wrong and the other person is? Should you apologize despite not being wrong?

[@pauladolan6019]

I totally agree with your findings. I thought that happiness was having a prestigious and well paid career. Then I discovered my job was interesting but lonely. So I ditched it, 🎉 got married and moved far away, had three kids, different jobs (some fullfilling, others more boring). But I wouldn't have been anywhere happier with my life than now. Enjoying being a grandma with my husband of 35 years and having close relationships with family and friends (here and far away).

[@YouMessedUpDude]

Thank you for making this video! I truly enjoyed it & it’s a beautiful reminder of what is really important in life. ❤

[@alexist6175]

Thank you so much for this!

[@myzticalcrystal]

Thank you for sharing!!!!

[@abigailcosta1716]

The answer is Love. It's always Love, and it will always be Love ❤️🙏

[@Donrosco1]

Thank you guys! 😊😊

[@alvahhunt236]

this is one of the best channels ive ever found thank you very much

[@EffortForever]

Thank you! This was a major eye opener.

[@wendychavez5348]

Sharing this, because I think it's important for most people to hear &/or know! Thank you & your colleagues for your ongoing efforts!

[@DBLQ06]

OMG AfterSkool, you guys are always exceeding yourselves! This information as well all the previous one you have shared with us is life changing, thank you very much!!💖

[@davidstanleyolson]

It warms my heart to watch this

[@ellieramos]

Thank you Dr. Waldinger for your study. I now know what to prioritize in my life.

[@Kiltoonie]

I'm a social researcher myself, and I've carried out thousands of in-home interviews here in Scotland over the past decade and more. Some of them are cohort studies like this one, and its a lovely job to have, that helps give me great insights, and takes me to some amazing places. It is not well-paid, but it is intensely rewarding. I have nothing but respect for those who freely give up their time, and share their lives with me, in order to benefit humanity: Your time is never wasted: and neither was mine ;-)

[@brain_unlimited]

I love how this channel id always so much on point and reveals so much truth

[@maguesso5394]

Fantastic Thank you for sharing this summary

[@dingushatuey5654]

Thank you.

[@eloisaanascovillavicencio3366]

Awesome! Big thanks. Loved your voice. 😊

[@9-23-15]

Thank You

[@georgelesiw7380]

Thank you!

[@giojako1]

this is amazing and absolute truth, thanks for the study of decades.

[@sanam8819]

Thank you for sharing, this was lovely ❤

[@polarbear369]

This is an outstanding collaboration!

[@mediapr4566]

a pleasure as always

[@suzannecranny9838]

Absolutely lovely video, so full of hope and wisdom. Thank you

[@andin916]

These are so refreshing among all the fluff… it’s hard to find content like this. Thank you!

[@semjaengles3297]

Amazing, great job, God bless you❤️

[@wellbodisalone]

The presentation was amazing. I agree with them when they mentioned that you need to have someone to count on.

[@geeyeahyeah]

Awww I liked this. I loved that the researcher was the one narrating

[@BeachPeach2010]

Love these, keep 'em coming! ❤❤❤

[@eeedw1n]

Amazing. Thank you

[@coneyboy]

Another timely and amazing message displayed through your beautiful art. You are a gift to the world. Thank you

[@dr.denniskeenan6584]

Very good. Thank you 😀❤

[@DaLiChannel6868]

This is a very interesting long term study and kudos to the Drs that are doing it. I believe this to be true.thanks for the video 👍

[@gorhor9006]

You just answered the question that human beings have been trying to answer since the, what is the meaning of life. And for that matter the key to a long and healthy life. Thank you so much for this video my life is complete and now I can go on living the good life. 😭🤞❤️

[@MindWorld]

Great video and informative and entertaining! Had a great time!!! Good luck to you and the channel!!!😊

[@jackvogel9777]

Powerful stuff. Really making me think.

[@m2pozad]

The 'Aging Well' type book I read also included a 3rd longitudinal study- that of gifted females starting at around age 10. This was a surprisingly underachieving and undersatisfied group who did not thrive. And yes, they had less satisfying relationships throughout their lives.

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@m2… Wow!! Did it say why? That’s really interesting.

[@m2pozad]

@@PeaceIsYeshua Not that I can recall. Remember the focus of the book was on what was working for people, not on the things that don't. I just recall them sadly. Lot's of early potential that turns out more quirky than anything else. Very few had career goals. Yet family life was not emphasized either. In a way they were too independent for their own good. In time, they generally turned sour on life. The unspoken implications to me were around the connections beteen life dissatisfaction and mental well-being.

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@m2pozad Thank you for sharing! 😊 It’s almost like they were too smart for their own good-had _too_ many interests, which made it hard to choose one thing. And probably saw the reality of life, family, etc. What do they say, ignorance is bliss? Sometimes it is!

[@johnvincentleano4673]

wow! really needed to hear this, years of self isolation and it made me distant to social interactions. Thank you After Skool!

[@PeaceIsYeshua]

@@john, aww, I pray you meet some new friends soon! It’s great that you decided to get out more! 😊🙏🏻

[@joleaneshmoleane8358]

For good reason. There’s a lot of stupid people out there and the last 3 years showed us just how many. Idk about you, but it was way more than I’d have guessed. But I’m thankful for it because it showed me so clearly who I want to remain friends with and who I don’t. So there was a silver lining. Now that the information, data, facts, and leaks have been made available, it’s pretty clear who was wrong. We just need the people who were wrong, from individuals in our personal lives, to the governments and institutions who failed us, and even the vapid celebrities who mocked everyone that didn’t agree with the current thing. They all owe apologies. So Twain was wrong at the end. We have PLENTY of time for apology and in many cases it’s the very thing that would allow us to have happy and loving relationships, and therefore a happy and healthy life.

[@jackierugrat8680]

My family is most important in my life. I would spend all my time engaging in self-care and spending time with my grandkids. By self-care I mean doing things that make me happy like gardening, singing, hiking, walking in nature, cooking, reading. So happy I am able to self reflect and I am contented with who I am. I am not a social media junkie and look for happiness from within.

[@zdzichuZ]

Thanks for that! Such an effort to do study like that.

[@lisamohammed8484]

Very interesting! Thanks for this video!

[@doritogomez]

I learned thos myself when I turned 28, it was such an eye-opener.

[@AwakenedAspirations]

thank you I enjoyed watching the video❤

[@neacht]

Absolutely logical - and although the survey mostly follows the lives of men, it also applies to the other 51% of us!😉

[@katiekane5247]

Though we need studies like this for the 51% of us.

[@JKP836]

They've added wifes (and kids - both male and female) 20 years ago. At least that's what I understood from the video :)

[@differenttakethanmost]

Harvard men at that. Just having gone to Harvard skews this study. They’ve had a huge head start…a leg up. “The lessons don’t come from wealth” - THEY ARE HARVARD students (pre-Pell Grant)

[@doveseye.4666]

Being rich is simple as long as you afford necessities than your rich!

[@herbertvonsauerkrautunterh2513]

I actually achieved my goals of living my life how i want to. For a period of shit two and half years up to July last year. I read extremely happy and social connections weren't that important to me. Just my family really. I suppose that's a quality relationship. The other relationships forced upon me, that with government at all levels is not good. That really interferes in my life and not on a good way. Now my goals have changed. To get away from bad and overbearing government

[@susanarupolo2212]

I agreed with you but not totally , I have kids in their old 50 years , I am young in my mind and heart. What keeps me healthy and happy ??I look for WHO I am. I exercise , I meditate , I read and I don’t look the tv or news. Yes I have acquaintances , friends maybe two and family that I don’t see them often because they are working hard to be able to survive. I am happy, not afraid to leave this planet, enjoying every moment of the day. I realized I made mistakes, also good deeds, over all we learn from mistakes. Thank you for your information .

[@tdtrecordsmusic]

id say this is pretty spot on. I used to be hyper-social while growing up. 40 now. friends move on, times a changin... pretty lonely now. I feel like it came from a handful of failed relationships. Iasted about 6 years of being alone b4 it finally started kicking in. now i've got plenty of crap days that i dunno why i keep on living. just keep falling forward is the way I keep going.

[@markdollard1084]

Excellent video, keep up the good work.

[@brucelee4996]

*Great video.*

[@user-im1oy4zs9k]

ty for the video

[@MikeIzerman]

kudos. PS. stellardrone for the ending. nice!

[@ahmarachaamnaya]

❤ This is wisdom.

[@moonmoss777]

Great episode

[@elsaduyale7352]

This is good to know. I hope this video reaches millions of people and give hope to those that are looking for a purpose to drive their life. Someone once said to me...."just find someone to do life with". I did!

[@joemahma3017]

Me too. 14 years from 16-30. She cheated, divorced, took my son, and now I finance her and her new “man”. Doesn’t matter I worked out in the heat and Sun 8 hours a day 5 days a week so she could stay home. Doesn’t matter that I would bring her home small gifts and sweets she liked randomly cause I was always thinking of her. Doesn’t matter that at 17 I made the decision as a man with integrity and love to be with her and her only mind, body, and spirit. Not only did I make that decision I upheld it proudly. I’m even 6’1”, in very good shape, and I have a pretty face. Doesn’t. Matter.

[@kirabarsmith9353]

@@joemahma3017 When you select a narcissist, it's not going to go well. Too bad we were never educated about them in school as we should have been.

[@joemahma3017]

@@kirabarsmith9353 when you’re right, you’re right. I still love her and likely always will. I should’ve chosen better and that’s something I have to live with. I’m a “you only get married once” person so dating or anything would be polygamy but I have myself and my cat, thankfully.

[@LyvBienAime]

Love this!!!

[@Haveyouheardthis33]

Enlightening

[@williamwilliams7706]

I love this channel.

[@fondabigbee5828]

This is the second time today that this video was recommended to me. The other was in an email regarding his TEDTalk. I’m going to take that as a sign from the Divine and watch it 😂

[@user-sw9ry3rg7u]

Being true to ones self. Don't be close minded , Being honest , Respect & communication