The Secret to a Happy Life - Lessons from 8 Decades of Research | Robert Waldinger | TED

The happiest and healthiest people are those who have warm connections with others, says psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who leads the Harvard Study of Adult Development -- one of the longest-running studies of adult life ever conducted. Exploring the crucial link between social bonds and quality of life, he shares wisdom and insights into how to identify and strengthen the relationships that impact your well-being most. When it comes to the people in your inner circle, "Turn toward the voices that make you feel more open and more inclusive," he says.
This conversation, hosted by TED current affairs curator Whitney Pennington Rodgers, was part of an exclusive TED Membership event. Visit www.ted.com/membership to become a TED Member.
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[@wailenhalen18]

I just wanted to say that when I got into rock climbing my social life exploded and I have been so much happier ever since.

[@Sonzoul1]

Good relationships starts at home and when you come from a dysfunctional family where you had no one to talk about how you feel; it becomes harder to develop healthy relationships anywhere you go. Overcoming trauma comes a priority and sometimes at 40 something; we are still trying to figure out how to connect with people in a healthy way. This theory is amazing for people who have stable family dynamic.

[@cagrisoylu3194]

So correct analysis - I relate very much every word you say, dysfunctional family issue it's very big mark in our inner life we always trying figure out how to connect with other people regarding to our feelings moreover there is always some challenge for whom coming from dysfunctional family background on given value and acceptance our own emotions to express ourselves - because lack of healthy attachment and emotional neglection - /

[@purelythemusic]

Absolutely, this is a good step to understand what is truly valuable, a good next step will be understanding the mechanisms of affecting others in the community and a step beyond is how relationships to institutions need adjustment, but this involves a new world order so will take some time 🫣

[@withyi2]

Thanks for saving me 28 mins 😇

[@JessicaS0105]

Absolutely true

[@katiehopemulligan]

So true, trust in people becomes demolished. I find it hard to trust loving people…like what do they want? But an ax murderer I want to invite to dinner lol. Awareness is key, and taking baby steps. Also for me, I need to practice doing things that are uncomfortable.

[@circleoflife3806]

All good relationships start with a healthy relationship with yourself.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

I am starting to think that maybe self worth naturally comes from external forces then internal. How can we have a healthy relationship with ourselves if we don't even know who we are? For example, you can't critique your own art and say that you did a good job. Someone else has to do that. You learn from other people's critique and you improve as you go, no? So the idea of us having a healthy relationship with ourselves first is weird. I don't think that is even a correct way to even have a relationship. We need to get in a relationship, mess up, get criticized and learn. Then use those experiences to improve our relationship with the next person. How would you do all of this by yourself?

[@mikefoster5277]

@@Dave_of_Mordor You make some good points, but there's a little known secret in life which explains your final question. The secret is, quite simply, that ultimately, all is one. And so, think about that for a moment: if all is one, then what can you really be in life other than that one? In other words, you can't be separate or different from it. And so, ultimately, what does 'a healthy relationship with yourself' really mean? It really means a healthy relationship with one and all - with everything - with life itself. And that requires quite a different mindset from the norm.

[@chrishardy2909]

Which is why it's so challenging when you're depressed

[@usaloveme]

Learn to enjoy your own company and you'll never feel lonely. Sure reach out and lend an ear or hand to lift someone who needs a friend but be your best friend first.

[@robinr5669]

It's not always easy to find those relationships. Growing up with trauma also sets you up for feeling isolated.

[@RamonQuiro7]

It's not easy but acknowledging your emotions, getting to the root of them and making sense of them is what matters. Remembering that you matter and deserve to be treated fairly. This is what I've realized in my own personal experience. It's a difficult journey but it's always worth trying and trying again

[@hl4374]

Exactly right. We would have been all happy if what he says comes natural to everyone

[@InnaVitamina777]

@HL if it came natural, would not be a reason to research or say it. You are taking the right step in asking questions of yourself and others and educating yourself. Keep up with it. Heard a great quote today "kids make excuses, adults make changes"

[@oscarflo1288]

I don't think it something you find, it's more like something that is created with hard work. Love is an action word not a feeling.

[@oldreprobate2748]

It's important that we who have suffered trauma not to except it as truth, it must be challenged with skepticism. Walk down a busy street with a smile on your face, and acknowledge that none of those we pass has perpetrated that same trauma on you. Do it again and again until the realization that they aren't out to get you. I think you'll notice that see your smile will smile back. Those that don't are likely others who have also experienced trauma in their lives. This gentleman in the video provides excellent advice, so before and after you go for those walks rewatch this video. Oh, and contact the commentator that provided their contact information. Wishing you peace and tranquility.

[@susandoan1351]

So true. I am 76 and have no one to talk to, to turn to. Fell very lonely specially when sometime I ended up in the hospital alone and no once to call.

[@richardvass1462]

I guess you know God is listening. I know what you mean though.

[@johngarrett1195]

Sending love to you xx

[@lyudmylamelnyk1887]

If you live on east cost , I can talk, or meet with you.

[@ibradibango4744]

Lots of love from kitale kenya,also struggling like you God bless

[@CaMi-hh8re]

Thank u for speaking slowly. I'm from Latin America. I never had the opportunity to study in an academy. All that I know It's because I learned by myself making translations of series, music and more. I really appreciate your calm and the way that you explain, thank u so much.♡

[@stevesteve8098]

You need to drink more of the Cool aid..... then you too can talk slowly and have joy joy feelings. Just a tip..... just take a look at the world and you will find the Happiness Veneer droids ALWAYS have the most sinister secrets... from the self righteous religious clowns to endless soulless creatures hanging about on social media....

[@CaMi-hh8re]

@@stevesteve8098 ????

[@CaMi-hh8re]

@@stevesteve8098 pero... No me cuentes tu vida yo solo estaba agradeciendole al señor😂

[@xxluaxx6]

This is how I feel about nurturing my babies. They know if they call out at night, mom is there. If they get hurt, mom is there. No matter what they are feeling or what they do, mom is there and loves them.

[@kenyandiasporalifepartners8277]

Good job ! raising secure babies raises secure functional adults!

[@jeffdeneen7241]

Wish my mom was like that

[@lysan1445]

For most people, this may be true. But not all people are the same. I know quite some people, myself included, who live happier and healthier lives in a more solitary way. I am tired of being judged by the number or intensity of my social involvement with others, as if a more solitary life is unhealthy. Once, I read a report about a psychological study of so-called "excentrists", people who did not fit the expectations of a rich social life but were very happy and healthy in their own solitary ways, even happier and healthier than quite some socially more interactive people. I specifically remember a Japanese man living alone on an island, a British scholar mainly living with his books, a woman living alone in the Australian outback, and a Buddhist nun who made silent and solitary retreats for several years at a time. I was so relieved that, finally, a more solitary life was acknowledged as one way to happiness. I, for one, am very content with how I live. I am single and have very few friends, which I don't see very often - once or twice a year at most. I feel truly happy and very content, and at over 60, I am still very healthy and have never had any major health problems.

[@K1FF33]

Would you, by chance, still happen to know the title of that report or where to find it? That sounds super innteresting to me. (As I can identify myself with the way you describe your experiences naturally better than with the "the more socially engaged the better"-paradigm as well) I once watched a documentary (many years ago) about eccentrics who were reported to be healthier than average despite them spending more time alone - but I can't find it anywhere to rewatch it, unfortunately.

[@lysan1445]

@@K1FF33 Unfortunately, I don't. The report was published in a leading psychology paper in Germany at least 20 years ago. It went along the headline, "Why Eccentrics are happier than most", and it was about eccentrics that lived a more solitary life. What I appreciated in this report was that the portrayed "eccentric" people were not pictured as crazy lunatics as so often, but just as people who valued and enjoyed a more solitary life. On youtube, I just discovered a documentary, "Celebrating Eccentrics". I haven't watched it yet, but maybe this is the documentary you are looking for?

[@mysteryreader1]

I agree I’m a healthy and happy solitary.

[@K1FF33]

@@lysan1445 Sorry for the late reply (I must have forgotten to hit "send" two weeks ago - and just noticed that by chance, because I got a mail-notification for this comment when mysteryreader1's replied) Thank you for your answer and the effort - it wasn't the one that I was looking for, but I appreciate you looking it up for me (actually, the documentary I was looking for was one in German as well - but all I found here on YT was an old Planet Wissen Episode about Eccentrics... that I also had watched a couple of years when it originally aired... although it wasn't the one I had been looking for, I really quite enjoyed rewatching that one as well and can recommend it, if you haven't seen it yet)

[@elsagrace3893]

It’s not really the “warm” relationship. It’s that people who feel that they matter are healthier. The relationship is just the place that most people derive most of the feeling of mattering. Feeling of mattering can also come from pursuing a goal that aligns with your intrinsic values or caring for a person, plant animal or project.

[@gardenjoy5223]

Totally agree with you! It's the giving of yourself and then finding out it is appreciated, that is uplifting. That's why most people prefer their pet above all humans. Pets love you, when you love them (usually, there are a few exceptions). The cat head bumping along your legs, happily meowing, is a lot more healthy for you, than the unfriendly neighbor or the jealous colleague could ever be. In fact, these last two can even be detrimental to your health, especially when they use their other relationships against you. In short: I really have to flee the wretched country of Germany... Never knew a whole 'democratic' culture could be this toxic.

[@users.1]

@@gardenjoy5223 oh damn，i live in China

[@gardenjoy5223]

@@users.1 How are the people in China? Just selfish and indifferent as humans tend to be in large communities? Abusing others for their own goals, as we see so often? But there are still some patches of 'less dirty water', where people still care (a bit) for each other. Perhaps in some villages? Yet, that doesn't have to say anything. The other day I watched a heart wrenching video about how hard it is to find love nowadays also in China. A rural family just humiliating their working daughter, who came to visit them yearly, because she still wasn't married. I cried with her. She was intelligent and men wanted a dumber wife. She eventually broke off all contact with her toxic family, moved to France and happened to find love there, where she was allowed to be herself.

[@users.1]

@@gardenjoy5223 Exactly

[@users.1]

@@gardenjoy5223 How about Germany man

[@michaelcliffe562]

This man just radiates positive energy. I could listen to him for hours on end😊

[@Bogancharisma]

Yeap, Australia doesn't have Robert Waldinger specialists. In Australia negativism is part of the social and emotional fabric.

[@justinamusyoka4986]

@@Bogancharisma Same in Africa,alot of negativity and backstabbing.

[@rhodesdicaprio2795]

Can't agree more! I love him.

[@TheAndyCzech]

He reminds me of my grandfather who just turned 103 years old. Positivity, kindness and being social w/ family and new and old friends is very important. Great video. I loved that he likened this behavior to exercise and that it's never too late to exercise this behavior. Good stuff! :)

[@totalfreedom45]

*_Without love and sense of humor there is no happiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌

[@normanleach5427]

Alan Watts suggested that even a Zen master has 'a little rascal' in him/her.

[@totalfreedom45]

@@normanleach5427 A little rascal? He married three times, was a heavy smoker to the end, and drank a lot in later years. According to Carlos Castañeda in an interview with Bruce Wagner in _Details_ magazine (“You Only Live Twice,” March 1994), Watts asked him to bed.

[@astonmartin7170]

The golden key in all of social relationships is nothing to lose...Just making a simple conversation and enjoy the moment...No begging extra attention ...just spreading loves from our mind ,our heart and our bodies...😀😀😀

[@marcuswarren4390]

Robert radiates happiness. I felt happy listening to this talk

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

I hope so. It would be weird for a guy studying happiness to not be happy.

[@Muhdah1972]

I'm glad the Dr addressed introverts and explained the difference basically. I'm an introvert who has learned how to be extroverted, but I have a low tolerance for people who talk or complain too much. That negative energy has a draining effect so sometimes I can only stand talking to a stranger for a few minutes, or a co-worker. I don't have as many friends as I did in my childhood through to my 30s but I've maintained a lot of old relationships and do keep in contact with relatives. I just don't require constant interaction as some might and I'm happier knowing my limitations and how to manage it.

[@jedilady4485]

I am so lucky to be bestfriend with a group of women since university days. Some of them I already met in highschool. Fast-forward 3 decades and we are still very close. And we have healthy arguments and discussions but in the end, it's our love for each other that prevails. One thing that really kept us close since was Laughter and having our own inside jokes. It really made us close! We also look so ferry young for our age because we are genuinely happy when we are together! So for those strict parents, please allow your children to hang out with friends even until late nights. Let them travel together and give them the chance to build stronger relationships. Because I have observed that most real friendship connections start young! It was when u had nothing yet, no success or money. Then you know that these friends are not using you!

[@commonman6304]

You are lucky & blessed with good attitude..!! Keep it up..!! 👍👍

[@pritcharddesign]

So lucky!

[@ArtbyPresa]

Very lucky to have this. Happy for you

[@blaqt107]

Omg! Me too! I've known my BFF since high school! Almost 30 years now. But I did have very strict parents. I couldn't hang out after school or do school functions and stuff. But I did travel later in life. But ppl do think we look younger than we are!

[@erindabney2758]

Wait until your worst nightmare comes to pass and you are hurting on a level you really cannot handle - that’s when your 30+ year friendships disintegrate and you get accused of being a fake for all those years.

[@tanned06]

If our happiness is dependent on constant connection with a network of external group, it runs a risk that once that network is lost due to some unexpected reason, our whole life will thereby collapse. Learning to appreciate the value of aloneness, leading a simple, contented life would be much more reliable in pursuit of true happiness.

[@jeannieauton3422]

That make sense for introvert like me

[@lynxo5695]

Always been single and always alone, while that's worked for me for many years, I absolutely crave social human connection.

[@sp123]

its called bad luck

[@pamelamolina5623]

I learned the art of casual conversation from speaking with this 80 year old fine lady. She had a way about her. She always found a way to get people to talk about themselves. They volunteered so much to the conversation that way. Also she was very polite. Basic good manners. It was wonderful

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello 👋

[@Nate1975]

Older people are wonderful and fascinating

[@Queenbean123]

I am an introvert and my spouse is an extrovert I believe:) I am always encouraged to make an effort to meet with people, I do enjoy at least 90% of time after I do so, I think for introvert, it doesn’t need to be a huge set up, if you are invited to a small gathering, it’s worth getting out, the outcome and feeling is worth it. 😊

[@zeBnextdoor]

i can relate so much to this in my relationships

[@Nate1975]

Definitely worth it

[@jaymiller8125]

Reached out to a childhood friend just as Robert encouraged and before the video was even over, I'd heard back and we are planning to meet up in April. Grateful for this wisdom!

[@lanafeulner4083]

Amazing!! I have 5 women who I supervise and I feel it's more important for their success. What is important in LIFE is to GIVE! When you put this into the universe, you will get rewarded 10 times !!! Don't think about yourself, think about others and you will be successful. People make the biggest mistake of waiting for someone to help them! If you want happiness, do the opposite, look for someone who you can help. I'm not kidding, if you follow this rule, you will be happy and successful in life.

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello sunshine 🌞

[@yassinomeromer421]

If you want to make one choice today : it's to pay attention to improving your connection with other people . Interview summary

[@greenkitty82]

Yes. As Leo Tolstoy famously wrote - "Happiness is only real when shared." Work on being grateful for your life and build good relationships with your fellow humans. We are only here once. ❤️

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

@@greenkitty82 what if you have been alone for 15 years, never had anyone close, and too awkward to make conversation?

[@wellbodisalone]

Finding that kind of relationships may be challenging but not impossible.

[@ekaterinal8631]

I don’t know if this speaker was just having a really good day but it’s rare to find people that look so happy, joyous and have such a grounding, calm energy.

[@COMPUTER.SCIENCE.]

His mouth is always like that 🤣 he couldnt reset his mouth's muscles 🤣

[@cyndimoring9389]

this is why I taught elementary school. those places are overflowing with love,

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello sunshine 🌞

[@jackerrick3254]

Good relationship is the key to happy life

[@mrtransmogrify]

The point I took away from this: A simple conversation even with a stranger makes one happy... I'm sure we can find a stranger every other day... I think that's big 👍🏽

[@nancyrandall1762]

You are so correct! I make it a habit to speak to at least one or more strangers whenever I go shopping because that energizes me and helps me get through the stress of taking care of a sibling with dementia. He is a loner and I firmly believe that his isolation from social connections has led to his illness. My grandkids have told me how they want to be like me and never meet a stranger, which I really loved hearing! I truly believe that connecting with others makes life so much more enjoyable. And fun too! :)

[@mrtransmogrify]

@@nancyrandall1762 ... Owhhh... Nice... I pray that you continue to find great joy in the little things

[@k8sl]

When Covid hit, I acted on the concept that we are all connected, that everyone I met was a potential friend. 3 years later, I am much happier

[@lcclark1307]

Connect anytime anywhere. Try it today. Be not afraid to enjoy life connecting w others:) Life’s short. I noticed my grocery store bagger so i said warmly “hi (Nametag name) “ i asked :so whats your fav hobby? I like art. How bout you? art , music math? He woke up and said: “I’m a musician, play guitar etc” He was smilng. We chatted briefly in line & as i left he said “That was THE best connection i had all day!” Another day, a young person said they like Math! What do u like about math? Oh my, he lite up about math. I learned alot. Super fun fueling positive connections. Most people dont like being invisible, do you?

[@schluesselblume2337]

@@lcclark1307 This is very encouraging. I love your input. I think I don't often ask questions about the others. Learned something from you today.

[@xeniadavis6644]

So glad to find this guy, ive been isolated for years because of depression and feeling like theres nobody who would talk to me unless im with others who have a hearing disablilty like i do. Currently looking into volunteer work or support groups, i dont want to miss out.

[@user-jn45jduc93jn]

Thanks for sharing. Professor Waldinger is so warm-hearted in the way he speaks and thinks. It’s a meaningful experiment. Thank you very much.

[@wobblemind]

One important aspect (imo) that should be highlighted here also is the connection to yourself; to be authentic to who you are. People easily connect/identify with authenticity and it becomes more natural to establish good relationships. This is a whole separate journey in it of itself :)

[@cheryl7784]

Your response on children is priceless! Mine are already grown , but I’d love to share this with them as they’re raising children of their own now. Thank you for sharing such wise and helpful information.

[@happyhappyhabit]

This really makes you think about the relationships you have in your life and how they can impact your well-being. Especially as an introvert like myself, it might not come easy, but it's so important to seek out and surround ourselves with those voices that bring positivity and inclusiveness into our lives. It's a valuable effort to make, and the benefits to our happiness and health are well worth it.

[@pandecocojam]

I think this is true but mostly for people who are not born into disadvantaged backgrounds. Depression, heart disease and other physical ailments can be caused and exacerbated by poverty. So I hope studies also consider how wealth influences health, and happiness is not just a mindset - it can be about opportunities too. Not that poor people aren't happy. When you go to rural areas in Southeast Asia, they have simple needs and wants and rely on the community for support. Even when life is hard they find ways to help each other and smile. Belief and community are also key to happiness - but poverty is real.

[@trambui7040]

Thank You so much Mr.Robert. I realized important things through your speech.

[@masudshah9585]

One of my lovely friend directed me to this video and the hard work Dr. Robert and numerous people did. I have loved the every word of what he said. God bless them all. Thank you.

[@andycordy5190]

Touching on the dynamics of a relationship during the Q&A, we see that value is very important, that reciprocity is sustaining and that being seen and heard is fundamental to combatting isolation and stress. One of the many silver lining effects from the tragedy of the HIV pandemic is the study of the direct impact of stress on the immune system. Developing from that this notion of the load carried by the immune system as both physiological and psychological.

[@hannahmiller5515]

I really want a friend or two. After some events I've become so preoccupied with trying to understand abuse, determining if a relationship or friendship is abusive and how to prevent it from being abusive, and how to tell if I'm being abusive, and whose rules to even go by. So I want a friendship but am terrified that I won't be able to prevent or see the abuse until it's too late

[@vivi5258]

The more you read about healthy relationships the better you learn about abuse!

[@rizcenzo]

Hi hannah, it might be helpful to join meetup groups or other groups, where you bond with a small group at once, which hopefully increases the chance of good outcomes. I've moved to a new area and accept that building bonds takes times, and in the meantime there are loads of cool groups to join and do activities with.

[@hannahmiller5515]

@@rizcenzo oh thank you! I normally don't look at KZbin notifications but I'm glad I did ..I will look at meet up groups! I am also accepting it takes time. Yes I'll just enjoy my time and hope to meet people who become close friends along the way :)

[@hannahmiller5515]

@@vivi5258 hmm good point...maybe abuse happens when there isn't enough positive to outweigh it? Or something. But yes I will learn more about healthy relationships!

[@tranngochuan9068]

Thanks for explaining clearly. You made my day.

[@artifundio1]

Aaaaw I love that TEDex talk!! I have watched so many times and recommend it so many more. Very inspiring and life affirming. Thanks for this conversation!!

[@AnaBeatrizPessoaMesquita]

As someone else already said in the comments, I would also like to thank you all those years ago for that talk. I never forgot those teachings, and although life may be crazy at times... I never forget again that having strong connections is what matters the most.

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello 👋

[@ranaakram7800]

Out of the context, you've a very comforting deep voice, god bless your soul

[@user-fb1ys2lj9c]

Talking to strangers has kept me still here thank you

[@axlruiz2136]

Ted talks really help me endure the pain and choose to be happy this channel is what I need when I'm down. It'll express my feelings when I'm watching these videos of them. And because of this I have found my happiness and the joy in my face came back to me so I want to suggest or advice some of my friends to watch these videos of Ted talks and It really helped you when you're alone and probably tired of your life so that's why reach out to someone it's not over you gotta fight for your happiness!!

[@ibradibango4744]

Have to save this video and keep it a treasure.speaks to the heart.thank you all.

[@nasrinali2328]

It's true to have a good relationship with family members, long-time friends, strangers, and neighbours, as Mr. Waldinger's speech makes clear. It keeps you vibrant, content, healthy, and alive. Lovely and extremely beneficial chat.❤

[@amelittaberretta9109]

oh. My. Goodness, cannot thank You sufficiently for your talk. As Seniors, it is difficult to meet people one has much in common. Particularly for us, who are transplanted people, away from the old fashioned way we grew up and our roots. All our ways of life are “out of style” and often we end up as subjects of ridicule. Numerous times I have been told to change my ways, and outlook on life, to fit in better. Being a Senior is a difficult journey. Thank you for your talk, so uplifting.

[@vickieryan4335]

Completely understand this! I am approaching my senior years, and I set as a goal to make two new friends this year ; problem is that was last year's goal too, 😆 this is hard! Also, I am not interested in talking about ailments and grandkids all the time!

[@eminalopatyuk6812]

Just look at his happy face booming with kindness and light! I already feel happy just looking at him❤

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello sunshine 🌞

[@limmingming4022]

Just watching u it makes me feel joyful!I have many people to call n yet i am mostly not scare of anything.... I take things as it is n i normally can go out my way to protect others.

[@user-fb1ys2lj9c]

I like this identifying the various friendship we cultivate for ourselves. I love the idea of having a friend you can feel comfortable enough to ask that specific friend for a project tool I will keep this in mind

[@LuatsuNguyen]

I was so lucky to listen to your talk a few years ago. I do not know how to say "thank you" enough. You inspired me so much and showed me the way I should go. I will keep your words for the rest of my life. Wish you all the best! Stay strong!

[@LuatsuNguyen]

And now, I am trying to help Vietnamese people become aware of narcissism, which is a very common and toxic personality nowadays. In order to have warm relationships and a happy life, we should learn how to figure out toxic or narcissistic relationships.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

@@LuatsuNguyen if i were you, i would give up on that. narcissism has been an epidemic in asia before that internet. it's deeply rooted in our culture now so it doesn't matter if they are aware of it because nothing will be done and they'll just look at you like "what is the problem?"

[@LuatsuNguyen]

@@Dave_of_Mordor Thanks for your advice. I would love to see people come and look at me like that ;) Let's have a look at what I am doing. Stay strong, friend.

[@Cassandra777]

Beautifully put, this was a great interview with amazing information and facts. Enjoyed watching you both 💙

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello 👋

[@vavilovasvetlana9044]

Huge thanks for this video. Finally I found what I need : such a calm voice, explaining it well. I understood everything easily without subtitles.

[@khoyrulhuda]

Happy to see you again, Sir Waldinger. 😊

[@jadedxserpent]

I'm so glad they addressed that people want different amounts of social connection! I'm an introvert and trying to establish more connections than I already have and am happy with, would be dreadful for me.

[@i_arshnoor]

Wow love it . I love my Friends , knowns , relatives and they play a beautiful role in our lives.

[@rajsrinu8866]

Epigenetically - couldn’t continue my studies on psychiatry. Huge fan of Rob. Utmost Respect. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@king-yq5xj]

Wish of the best in life.

[@marilialevacov2939]

Dog owners are never lonely....

[@interferenzbrille_2542]

Thank you very much for the talk.

[@nicolemeng6698]

Happiness from within, from how you feel about yourself, not from others

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello sunshine 🌞

[@ibrahimlawalahmed6593]

Indeed, Prof. TEDx talk in 2015 has tremendous effect on me. Am glad to listen to this interview.

[@dungtrankhanh2222]

Thank you Prof., I have tried to connect with one of my best friends, even I have tried to meet him. Unfortunately, we haven't had a good connection so that I can understand his problem. Now everything I can do is "let it be", and waiting for a miracle.

[@ronigustaf6994]

Bersosialisasi yang proporsional juga membahagiakan hidup. Loving nrighbours...

[@jayzzz1234]

That is so true about having someone to talk to, I use to live with people now currently living alone.

[@sx1031]

Doctor is a nice and heartwarming person 😊

[@CebiGreen]

This helps changing my approach toward relationships so much. He touched a bit on the impact of social media. IMO it’s time that kids need to take the 101 social media class before they can graduate from elementary schools. some States require high school children to take the personal finance class. They could do it with financial knowledge and why not social media.

[@xxkitlzxx777]

Love this! So true ❤️

[@janethallett2841]

This man makes me happy. ❤ thinking what I can do

[@frankt9156]

Whatever give make you happiness can also give you sadness. Your mind is the real source of happiness if you understand.

[@Junwen-im2fx]

The best thing I've learnt from this TED was being connected with people who can allow me to be myself! It's really hard to balance the need for personal space and the feeling of mattering.

[@onlinebizjp]

Thank you. I do casual conversation at a shop to buy a cup of coffee, and with 70 years old lady who cleans the building. So, I'm happy 🙏

[@RichardStrong86]

This is probably why I likely feel so abysmally terrible at 37. The friends and connections that make life meaningful just aren't there, or that particular pool of people is very shallow. It mentally ages me so much when I spend large amounts of time by myself.

[@interferenzbrille_2542]

I'm sorry and I hope you can find some people to make friends!

[@greenkitty82]

I see what you mean. I've had experiences with friends who I thought were friends when they are not so what I decided for myself was to scrap that, accept that being on my own as a solitary character is perfectly ok and I spend my time helping those who need it. I'm getting connections and I'm helping them be happier in the process. If the universe wants me to have good friends it will happen. As a result I'm very calm now. Comrades are great to have but I'm ok without them too.

[@i_dont_want_a_handle]

friends and connections don't make life meaningful, you do, you find or create it, so start therapy and then, if you really need it, you will find your life's meaning if you really need one

[@veyger1970]

I suppose all Studies are biased. Your making the assumption of a certain "Group" and my guess it will be the middle and upper class study. If I am wrong , Let me know.

[@saysakda9751]

Thank you so much for your sharing

[@ligiasommers]

Amazing ! And his voice is so calming ! 🙏🏻🌹✨🙏🏻

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello sunshine 🌞

[@karenlin-mahar3403]

I absolutely love this research and TedTalk. Thank you for sharing this incredible study and wealth of knowledge… it’s a credit to the importance of academia in our well being and mental health. ❤

[@gabrielpiero6935]

Hello gorgeous! How are you doing? you’re looking beautiful on your profile picture! i don't mean to be rude to you ,

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello 👋

[@tajinderjsingh826]

So true, relationship are the base for happiness whatever that may be, family/friends/colleagues..etc

[@uli9084]

so much wisdom in 28:42, thank you so much for sharing your treasure

[@peteg6118]

Thank you so much for the summary of a monumental study. I think I'll call my friend now.

[@jacobkim5276]

It's grateful letting me realize a great wisdom

[@dawns30]

Wow! That is hugely impressive! And you just beam happiness. I look forward to subscribing and enjoying your lesson plans (so to speak) :)

[@limlisuang8509]

Having doubts about myself after watching this video as I always think being alone is better than having any relationship with others.

[@KrishnaKumarGreenPepper]

In a world with huge trust deficit, building relationships for the longer term take deliberate efforts. It is hard for it to happen naturally.

[@AlexDane]

"Relationships are the currency of life" - forgot where i first heard it but this is very in line with what he discusses, also love the idea of 'social fitness'

[@veyger1970]

I suppose all Studies are biased. Your making the assumption of a certain "Group" and my guess it will be the middle and upper class study. If I am wrong , Let me know.

[@Dave_of_Mordor]

@@veyger1970 i'm sorry but are you implying that good relationship for a happy life only applies to the middle and upper class and not below?

[@imamsanji]

Maybe yes but not necessarily "love relationship".

[@barbarafinch8530]

No thanks ted. There is nothing happy about thisife Nothing

[@barbarafinch8530]

O sick of all these trite answers

[@monicanudelman]

THANK YOU .Amazing!

[@uranne]

Connect around shared interests. Has always worked for me.

[@willowwobble]

Excellent advice. Another essential aspect of this topic is a person's sensitivity to 'rejection' and 'acceptance'. It's difficult to be happy if we feel rejected. The warm connections recomended give affirmation, a sense of acceptance. But reaching out to others so as to make a connection risks being rejected. The more rejection a person experiences, usually the more they become sensitive to being rejected and thus anticipate further rejection. Often this actually creates the rejection feared.

[@jaynemarino7011]

I agree, but now realizing what Republicans really are as humans. I totally understand why they rejected me and why I still will always reject them! ... I'm shocked and astounded daily we were born from the same mother ... I have not one thing in common with my siblings or relatives

[@sp123]

@@jaynemarino7011 we should avoid talking about religion, politics, etc with others even familyif it is a trigger point

[@eamonbreathnach4613]

Excellent advice

[@rachelpark8071]

Your pronounciation is very clear So it is more easier to understand your talk.👍🏻 Thanks🎉

[@simplepixel5617]

The last time I was spontaneous about contacting two of my realy good old friends that I havent heard of in years because I left my country, resulted in both reading my messaging but getting ghosted by one and blocked by the other with no reply from any of them. Thats was a morale boost :))

[@sunnyday7843]

I hear you-

[@evrimtv1]

Thank you so much Dr Robert Waldinger. First time I Felt ilke someone understood me . Would Love to Join Your Study if you dont Mind

[@MedEighty]

In my experience, I find that recommendations in this video do work; including even talking to strangers.

[@subashininatarajan9037]

Grateful for your wisdom ⭐🌼

[@punnaroothsrimongkolsilp1543]

Thank you sir.

[@ayysweetstea9339]

This guy speaks in a very calm manner. Easy to listen to him. 👏

[@Mikealberto7110]

Hello sunshine 🌞

[@avrakostas]

Such an insightful video! Social fitness is something that works and it can change people's lives.

[@zensvlognotapro]

Happinesses is found within . Where negativity has no room in your heart and mind or at least we can handle life well. That we live life As it Is 👍🤗

[@yolandaramirezmichel]

Gracias, esta charla movió en mí algo importante.

[@DBDBuildZ]

I enjoyed this video. I frequently feel like my life is pretty great, but I still feel that empty unfulfilled feeling sometimes. I believe this is the area I need to focus on. Money is great. Physical health and fitness is great. I have a lot of free time and take care of myself. I'm building my youtube channel. But I have been slacking on my social connections & relationships because I frequently feel like a homebody and want to just stay home alone =/ I need to work on my social fitness & engage with people more. Thank you for this!

[@Teckno72]

I restarted a coffee club at work. I enjoy hearing about the lives of others every day. It has made all the difference. 😸😸

[@Teckno72]

I’m an introvert; but, when I get with my coffee club, I just bloom. 🌻🌻

[@manuelmanuel9248]

I knew this without the studies. It is universal common sense

[@tseringchoetso1961]

He seems so happy 😮so m gonna listen this!

[@hanguyen-cz9fj]

it's hard when no one around loves you truly and they don't make efforts to love you, so it'll be faster and easier to stop expecting from other people and start learning how to take care of yourself, by yourself. nobody wants to be lonely, but not everybody has good people around.