1398 - Human Standard by WeirdSpecter | HFY | Humans Are Space Orcs | Humans are Insane

[@ThoughtsReflected]

"...Nothing could halt its tireless advance as it stoically overcame any adversity or trap thrown at it. Hundreds of ships and thousands of crew members were lost to its overwhelming might. Nothing could stop the S.S. Rick Roll..."

[@nordknotwork]

This was a fight it would never give up. A conflict it would never let down a war it would never run around or desert

[@LTDroz]

@@nordknotwork they made them cry and say goodbye.

[@Rhino-Prime]

And it will hurt you

[@Nicmadis]

"...And in the background, looming with it's massive size the super carrier _S.S. Feck Around Find Out_ sent out and retrieved fighters and fighter bombers in the tens of thousands..."

[@stevedixon921]

Physics: you cannot lift this car Humans: my kids under this car...move it! Physics: ...my mistake... Humans: [Speechcraft 100]

[@IRMentat]

pretty sure it's more an intimidation check, Either Physics bends or we break physics for ignoring our "request"

[@stevedixon921]

@@IRMentat Physics: you cannot lift this car Humans: are your certain?...my kids under this car... [Intimidation check: passed] Physics: ...my mistake...

[@dragongrazer7620]

It take a certain kind of insanity to ignore the laws of physics when they dont suit you.

[@WingManFang1]

It’s part of our adrenaline rush, we only use a small percentage of our actual body strength at any given time, so it’s activated in extreme emergencies.

[@epsome13]

@@WingManFang1 Our body's are self limiting to about 80ish percent on physical strength at any given moment. Fight or flight is in the 90s. Hysterical strength is when we are using a full one hundred percent but there are major down sides like broken bones, shredded muscles and legments and tendons, shattered teeth, and even organ damage. We are self nerfing as a way to keep us safe. Think about this. The same pressure you use to bite into a raw carrot is the same as it takes to bite off a finger. plus the cocktail of chems our body puts out to shrug off pain till a while later.

[@eliandervalderen5849]

I love how at the end of it we find out that it is a Uncle making a plea to protect his niece for doing something stupid

[@gentlerain8537]

Spoilers…

[@sarahmellinger3335]

ya thought it was just grammatical errors by referring to the other alien as a human but dumb that was a good revel

[@AnxiousFly]

Great way to spoil things

[@darkphilosopher8726]

@@AnxiousFly Why are you reading the comments before you listen to the story? This is the internet... Consider this a lesson in how it works.

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

maby his species was not so different from humans..just the way it was expressed.. plenty of uncles , parents or siblings that pleaded with relatives not to do something stupid ,only to then try save them from ther own actions despite it being futile...

[@paulhuston9991]

The most important 4 words in all known existence "don't f#$k with kids." We extincted a hell of alot of meaner species with sticks and rocks for messing with that rule... then we discovered metals.

[@Burn_Angel]

And some we extincted just for sports. If we left out of the census so many species without a reason, may space Jesus forgive you if you _do_ give us a reason.

[@andrewrowe8768]

alien asks "what was the point of destroying your home world" Humanity's reply "the point is this if we are prepared to do that to OUR home world what do you think we are prepared to do to YOU" Alien "oh um (gulp) would you like a free beer with you fries on me " Humanity "i see you understand the point now" 👹

[@TheAderwolf]

@Darryl Revok thank you for those recomendations.

[@Burn_Angel]

'Some say you can't love other people if you don't love yourself. I don't make love, I make war.'

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Vlad used that method and the Turks stopped attacking. Mostly due to the whole if their are no peasants in this frozen wasteland what's the point more than fear.

[@Nempo13]

@@julesmasseffectmusic He used so many traps, so many methods to spread plague in their encampments. They absolutely fled in fear at seeing the impaled people. By the time they GOT to the town he had surrounded with impaled people, their army...which was huge mind you...had only 50% remaining that could actually fight. Sickness, disease, and plague was inflicted upon the rest.

[@simonmarshall1060]

The people of Britain should petition the government that the next two ships that the Royal Navy builds are called "HMS Lie Back and Think of England" and the "HMS Giving You A Ruddy Good Talking Too"... those names are brilliant. Boaty McBoatFace brilliant.

[@ChemySh]

if my British-American translation is correct, the American counterpart to "HMS Lie Back and Think of England" would be... "USS Get Fucked" isnt it? :'D

[@simonmarshall1060]

@@ChemySh that, or the "USS Bend Over and Take It"

[@Keiranful]

@@ChemySh I'd say "USS Ask What You Can Do For Your Country" would also fit the context...

[@SpitfiretheCat16]

@@Keiranful Or something like "Assume the Ready Position", perhaps.

[@SpitfiretheCat16]

USS Trickle Down, USS Atop Washington's Monument, USS That's Sir To You, USS Dallas Parade, USS What Goes Around, USS Don't Sit On Me, USS Fruit of the Plains, USS Custer's Stand USS Tit for Tat, USS Nuts!

[@Zakvadr1995]

Tell a man that something is impossible to do and not to try it, they’ll do it and succeed just to spite you. Humanity at its finest.

[@AnikaJarlsdottr]

"why, human captive? why did you shoot our reactor core and doom yourself to a fiery oblivion along with us?" "fuck you, you said I wouldnt"

[@Nyghtking]

His niece's best chance is if she doesn't harm or insinuate that she'll bring harm to the children, if all she's done is captured them and tells the parents that while the children will be just fine, unless the parents do as she demands they won't be permitted to see their children again, then there's a chance she could make it out alive, she'll probably still be tried in a court for her crimes though.

[@ChronoTriggerHappy]

second she uses the children as bargaining she dies, humans wont stand for that

[@Josh-iv2bw]

In a legal sense you're right. But let's face it. The scariest thing you can ever fear to deal with is a mom deprived of her kids, and the men that will help in whatever course that woman sets in motion. I'm a parent. once someone harms my kids, there is no hope for them. Its a when, not an if, on whether they will suffer great harm at my hands.

[@gantzllat]

The first story somewhat made me remember Overlord, volume 14 "There was once a man so adept at illusion magic that he could tap into the twelfth tier of magic, and unleash a spell to convince the whole world of one thing. ' 'but why would someone do something like that?' 'Don't you understand? if the whole world believe something to be true, it becomes the truth. By doing something like that, the impossible becomes possible. Not even death could stand against it. Fascinating tale isn't it? the miracles of magic exemplified in one of the must underappreciated of its branches'"

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

3.5 dnd loophole, luck always stacks. Ring of prot2ction 2 negatuons boots of protection Luck boots that add 1 luck to AC stacks with ring of luck add 2 luck bonus yo AC.

[@shinraset]

Humans are beautiful, terrifying, destructive, creative, and glorious fucking messes! Bodies built so powerful they can destroy themselves if they weren't Auto self-limiting. A unique psychological response to being in terror rather than simply fleeing or fighting humans will be brought together and if they're scared for long enough they will band together and destroy the source of that fear. Then of course there's that vindictive spiteful streak. "You want to capture our homeworld we'll destroy it so that you don't get the satisfaction!" "How do you feel about fighting the HMS Flung S***? Does it make you feel proud to have destroyed such a ship especially since you lost two of yours in the destruction?" Just wait till the HMS Squatting Dog manages to actually destroy one of your Capital ships!" Humans are a mess but at the same time I wouldn't change them.

[@WingManFang1]

Spoken like a true Alien! 👏 take me to your Leader!

[@CaptainRhodor]

Humans: "I'm scared of this thing." **pumps shotgun** _"For now..."_

[@TheMonkey747]

@@CaptainRhodor "Fuckin' right... " *SS-CRRRING, SS-CRRRING, SS-CRRRING* The Human thumbed the blade, testing it's edge before sheathing it, and drawing another to test and hone it's edge. This particular being carried 6 blades... on the average day. Now however, the other, sheathed blades, formed a kind of crude plate armor over it's torso, upper legs, and forearms. A 'coat of plates' I think it was called... This human wore a 'coat of blades'... But it preferred to use its bare hands... It's preferred strategy? Going 'Medieval on these Fucks'... Barbarians... "That's why you should leave the Human Younglings OUT of every altercation possible. If something is Impossible, and a Youngling is threatened or harmed, the human will either kill itself to become a shield for the Youngling, or they will get revenge FOR the Youngling. Either way, if there are more humans than groups of Younglings, the aggressor is fucked... repeatedly... with their own weapon... I saw one pick up a chunk of plascrete weighing around 3 stone, then kneel on the offender's torso to bash the threat's head flat, accellerating the chunk upwards then nearly lifting themselves as they stopped, then FORCED the chunk downwards in the direction of gravity and continue bashing until the head, then the chest, had been converted to a thin paste. Dismemberment by way of blunt trauma. By the Gods, those... sounds... The MESS...

[@dovahbear0]

Though... coming together a little more... I'd change that...

[@Taneth]

And the HMS Teabag will be there to collect the escape pods.

[@SiegeTF]

Hippity, hoppity, your neice is my prop- ... is that an army?!

[@_gold_eye_2656]

“You ever see what happens to a pedophile in prison in human space?”

[@xanmontes8715]

Oh sweet merciful Jesus, that's something I forgot xD

[@elduquecaradura1468]

We do something called "dry bath":we expose everything below the neck to the void of the space, to bring it back as soon as it seems it will die and pit it back when it recovers, and so on... until there is nothing to recover

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Humans can use our delusions to drive us to achieve impossible feats. Give us proper motivation, and we will make sacrifices that seem absurdly insane. We are firm believers in Scorched Earth Warfare.

[@lotuswraith]

The thought of a ship named "Lie Back and Think of England" is inordinately funny to me for some reason. 😁

[@TheMonkey747]

HMS 'GET STUFFED'

[@Mami94-832]

"And don't get me started with Australia." This guy knows what's up 😂

[@MymMars]

It's almost like the universe at one point or eventually will be locked in a room alone with us humans and decided that it would just be easier if all those pesky laws didn't apply for a short period of time so that they could end what is obviously a very crazy thing to do and it just kind of stuck.

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

13:00 The thing is, we have a phrase; "Nada es Impossible" Nothing is impossible. A man once decided to carve faces in a mountain with basic mining explosives, _for patriotism,_ and all the while people told him and thought it was impossible. When we first started mastering jet-propelled aircraft, ot was stated once that even the fastest model available was incapable of passing the sound barrier, that to do so, was impossible. and then, of course, a pilot did it. and many supersonic aircraft were made afterwards. Point is, many things are considered impossible, but I and some other humans believe nothing truly is.

[@Burn_Angel]

Imposible*, with one s.

[@vikingreflections2824]

Human advancement basicly boils down to the top three. 3) To make our lives better 2) To make our wives life better 1) To make our children's lives better

[@kleinjahr]

The possible is done immediately, the impossible takes a little longer.

[@junkercitizen229]

the possible i'll do right now, the impossible will take a little while. ~idk some song on fallout radio

[@omargoodman2999]

The quote I heard from some mechanical department is "Impossible done right away. Miracles require 24h advance notice."

[@Burn_Angel]

Yo what the fuck. Why does this sound as something you'd hear from a human?

[@dusanradin5868]

@@Burn_Angel Because we are just that awesome? Or just assholes.

[@DonPatrono]

in the pipeline gig we often say (especially to demanding clients): "We can do everything humanly possible and a bit of impossible. For miracles wait till next week, we're still setting things up"

[@christopherpittman8054]

In the spirit if Boaty McBoatface, Shippy McShipface.

[@askemoeller5770]

"and don't get me started on Australia" I found that very funny

[@nonomemememe]

i'm looking for a story about an alien ambassador meeting a human scientist about making sentient ai and how it was a bad idea. the aliens have been burned before. at the end it's reveled the harmless child in the room is the ai.

[@theconney1512]

Human scientific method is on a channel called zren that also does hfys and deathworlders should be the one you are looking for

[@shinraset]

I believe this might be it. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qIPXn52dbcyErtE

[@eliandervalderen5849]

I remember that one will take a while to look out though you might want to check net narrator to see if he's got it up already

[@nonomemememe]

@@theconney1512 Thank you! that was it!

[@lulutoy591]

Don't mind me just putting a comment so I could remember this and go back to it later 😅

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhythm that is Algo I gotta agree, destroying the homeworld just to make a point to the invaders is a little much.

[@legionofregion8825]

To be fair, we didn't really know what we were doing. We found an ancient alien device and just kind of turned it on and pointed it at the enemy.

[@RealArcalian]

@@legionofregion8825 so basically the plot of Mass Effect 3, then

[@dusanradin5868]

Agro,nothing is too much for us idiots.Try to take away something from us,see what happends. I would do EXACTLY THE SAME!If some stupid xeno wanted sistem i live in-i hope he wore brown pants that day! It would all goo Russian way-BOOM TODAY!

[@stevenlallamant8967]

The HMS "talk shit, get hit"

[@TheMonk72]

I've always been fond of the HMS Find Out. Destroyer class, naturally.

[@AnikaJarlsdottr]

HMS Squatting Dog

[@Darkeklaw]

Alien 1: You know humans have a saying for when they are about to do the impossible. Alien 2: Oh, what is that saying. Alien 1: Hold my beer, and watch this.

[@calvingreene90]

She went and applied her reactions to humans. She is fecked.

[@Maeshalanadae]

“You wouldn’t believe it, sir! There was this combat scout shop of theirs and its agility and speed was unreal! It dodged every photon and laser blast we fired, nimbly dodged around the depth charges we dropped. It shot at us with unerring accuracy, hot plasma bolts rupturing our hull. But sir, the worst part of it was the ship’s name.” “What was it, ensign?” “The USS Sanic.”

[@nachtwaya8721]

My Australian Wife is killing herself laughing about the "And don't even get me started on Australia."

[@redraptorx1066]

alien: i have your kid! pay up or the child dies! human: what's that? you want me to get my work buddy John on the horn? i'm sure we can work out an arrangement, after all he gave the boogie man a fantastic going away party last week. alien: uh.....i'll return the kid....sorry.....*hangs up horrified* .....i'm so dead.

[@isterlings]

I was hoping one ship would have the name, "HMS Boaty McBoatface"

[@shewolfroux6091]

I would like to bring attention to Caterina Sfoza. A woman so pragmatic and ruthless that she secured her son's release by flashing (or grabbing, accounts vary) her 😾 and saying "Kill them if you will! I have the means to make more! You will never surrender make me surrender!" at the people holding a knife to her son's throat. According to all accounts, Caterina was loving and devoted mother. I think she knew that even if she did surrender, her children, ALL of them, would have been killed along with the rest of her people. So she chose, knowing that no respectable man, let alone a soldier would kill a boy without serious cause. Her son's death would do nothing for them if she didn't surrender. And her bluff PAID OFF! Her son was freed by a soldier that said "I kill men, not boys who have never done me any harm" and later returned to her safely. This woman made a split second decision that not only saved the lives of her people and other children, but also the very child she would have lost otherwise. She knew there was a chance they'd kill him anyway, but she rolled a nat 20 on her persuasion and intimidation checks and came out a legend with all her kids alive. Human beings will look at a hopeless situation involving kids and say "FUCK YOU!" and go get their kid back.

[@kerwinbrown4180]

The solution is recruit humans.

[@The_Viscount]

This feels like a man pleading before a Human Jury on behalf of his niece.

[@NathanBChampine]

To humans the word Impossible only means I'm possible. So take heed the words impossible and improbable don't mean what you think they mean. To humans any way.

[@jrm48220]

I think it might be more accurate to say that the word impossible is like a personal challenge. It's the insult that precedes the duel, or the errant blow that sparks the bar fight. Tell us we can't do something, and we'll go after it as if it were the only thing we've ever wanted to do.

[@FedralBI]

For all those who try and help their family from making terrible mistakes.

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@sgtwhisker26]

Even are worst criminals Will not tolerate Our children hurt if you are a child abuser and you go to prison and they find out what you did you’re gonna get Shanklin showers.

[@thesadumbreon]

Yep and the type of abuse judges the quickness if you have a month or barely a day after they find out

[@SergeyWaytov]

Wow, that's very interesting type of story

[@Theminecraftian772]

Man, I've got to start liking the videos I watch, I came back to this one thinking I haven't seen it yet. Good job Agro! I hope you kick Covid's ass!

[@dragoniceful]

Definitely written well, some confusion on who is being talked to on occasion

[@awolgamming7793]

we can actually lift i believe it as several tons but our brain has a limiter on us so we don't shatter our bones and rip our selves apart

[@NerdyWordyMatt]

There is no such thing as impossible - it is just a matter of motivation.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@billcipher-]

Human: Give me your money Alien: No Human: Please, I insist Alien: Well if you say so-

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@jalexwheeler7751]

See, this is why we have to keep an eye on you people. I mean mostly a sinecure, but occasionally, you have to collapse civilization. *Please Stand By*

[@jalexwheeler7751]

However, best quote heard this decade. "... They don't protect their own by doing the most rational, logical thing. They protect their offspring by deceiving themselves that they can do the impossible to protect them, and then use that as motivation to do the impossible". I think we can let this simulation run for another 500 cycles. Just for the quotes, if nothing else.

[@yukikaze4393]

I'm a Australian and can agree with this sentance

[@bethanysmith5856]

The uncle grew wise

[@Big_boy01470]

Australia💀

[@yomogami4561]

command? 'our ships were destroyed by the Inclement Weather usually my name for a Chaos capital ship in warhammer 40k

[@gp-1542]

If she went through with her plan *it’s going to be the last thing she ever does*

[@mstrfool]

Naw. Second to last. Rotting will be the last.

[@jakeand9020]

If you get to the end of the story, she did. The whole story is her uncle trying to convince someone not to kill her. Basically employing the "she's just young and stupid, not a lost cause" argument. I have to assume, since he's getting the chance to even plead her case, she failed spectacularly enough no one got seriously hurt.

[@Sparrow_Bloodhunter]

Hey when are you going to make more Ars Magica videos? I work closing shift and I need longer videos like those to listen to., can't be fumbling with next video buttons every 10 minutes while working.

[@AgroSquerril]

Should still be a couple weeks before i start that up again , Try the second channel , I tent to put full compilations on there. There is also the TFOS Feb Collection on this channel - its all the TFOS from FEB in 1 handy dandy video.

[@Sparrow_Bloodhunter]

@@AgroSquerril well you see the problem with that is I've already finished all those series on the main channel. I've even caught up with first contact, took me about 6 months to get through that one, really looking forward to the conclusion of the precursor war, super curious what they'll do with the space cows. I've also finished every long series on Netnarrators channel (except tev tricard because it's annoying) so I'm having trouble finding new content to listen to, I've had to resort to best of r/entitledpeople compilations but I'm running out of those too.

[@jaytonobrien6325]

Damn. They did it. They made these xenos care for their offspring and younger familiar members

[@Bjorn_Tyrson]

We have an entire genre of movies that is just liam neeson showing exactly why f*cking with our kids is a bad idea... how did they miss that when coming up with their plan!

[@lamaman5080]

Nice another vid

[@bmsg1]

i love the syfy story you read:) getting a bit tired of the circle-jerking and wish-fulfillment, i just need to get in the grove before clicking it

[@TheRealVorynDagoth]

Whoever named those ships read the Ian m Banks culture series

[@MarrockV]

"The H.M.S. Your Mother Last Night"... just imagine that being the last thing you see before you're turned into a whiff of carbon and ozone.

[@Ryu_D]

Thank you for the video.

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@jeanannd]

Okay, this story doesn't make sense. The humans supposedly destroyed the Sol system and Earth - but 63 million years ago when humans didn't exist. Also said main character in this story refers to Earth and humans as STILL living on it and in their supposed destroyed system.

[@TheMonk72]

The greys were beaten by precursors millions of years ago. They returned in modern time in the story, and that's when humans blew them (and Sol system) to hell. It was a little hard to track in the story though.

[@green1400]

4 the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@green1400]

@@AgroSquerril you took the time to reply, so I have a honest question: Is there a reason the specific wording makes a difference?

[@green1400]

*an

[@AgroSquerril]

@@green1400 specific wording?

[@green1400]

@@AgroSquerril sorry, I thought your reply was a correction to the original comment. I recently found out that the comments help the channel and therefore wanted clarification. Still learning. Have a great day. 🙂

[@tordlindgren2123]

They will take the other sock.

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@brianlips8346]

[@trigonrem]

wooo love your content

[@markuhler2664]

Laws of Physics? Don't you mean Suggestions?

[@wrigthtalekenavi2066]

nonono. scientific laws are only there because we dont have rigth tools to replace them with upgraded laws

[@JoseLay]

good

[@Tmonger127]

A comment for the Algorithm.

[@lordfelidae4505]

Look dude. I’m sorry, but if she did go after the kids? Nothing I can do!

[@thunderbird4636]

Don't fuck with humanity's children

[@arakheno4051]

F.A.S.!

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Kidnapping the minors of miners miner-ception

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@slimeinabox]

Insisting that the impossible happen and it working comes with the territory of being made in the image of God and all. Just saying.

[@WiredTurkey316]

Phuc yea

[@merlinwizard1000]

153rd, 10 January 2023

[@klappstock943]

F.T.A

[@dusanradin5868]

Mess with the kids-pay the price!

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm