"They want to enslave the adorable new alien friends? Well that just won't do!" *Proceeds to go absolutely ape-shit, would make our primate ancestors proud*
@pvtpy1e3 жыл бұрын
Reject society, return to monke!
@hunterv99833 жыл бұрын
Xeno Churchill: "Let's those hairless apes die. Their gestation cycle is nine months, they can breed their numbers back"
@stain10953 жыл бұрын
*Holds up sharp stick* Agreed WE MUST NOT SURRENDER.
@stain10953 жыл бұрын
@@zzav2345 Thanks for the video
@lukasklaumannsmoller79233 жыл бұрын
Gang war evolution at its finest
@reighniz44883 жыл бұрын
Defending tiny, adorable, little baby otter floofs from monster slavers? *all of humanity stands* WE FIGHT!
@stain10953 жыл бұрын
The slavers: We should not have done that. WE SHOULD NOT DONE THAT.
@robertstan97333 жыл бұрын
"Prepare my flagship and rally all available ships in the quadrant. I will see to this xenos scum, personally."
@stain10953 жыл бұрын
@@robertstan9733 "AYE AYE, SIR"
@bottleogames3 жыл бұрын
FOR THE LOVE OF ANYTHING CUTE AND CUDDLY
@wrigthtalekenavi20662 жыл бұрын
@@robertstan9733 "Sir, we have already done that as soon as we heard the call for the love of everything cute and cuddly"
@asurasyn3 жыл бұрын
"I heard you struck my Yukak. May I ask why?" "Well, sir, it's because they tried to enslave the space otters, and, well, the humans took offense." " ...oh! "
@hunterv99833 жыл бұрын
The call her Hela The Goddess of Helheim? No. She's the one you send to kill the fucking Goddess of Helheim Ashley. In theaters October 24 2014
@locomastero3 жыл бұрын
@@hunterv9983 Good one XD
@robluxipiech40333 жыл бұрын
Absolutely brilliant hahahah u made my day
@Warrior-Of-Virtue3 жыл бұрын
A fundamental rule of humanity. If you are our friend, then there is very little we will not do for you. If you are our enemy, then there is very little we will not do to you.
@thatonekobold3 жыл бұрын
Yep
@VadulTharys3 жыл бұрын
Think about it, Humans have had to create laws of war because we know how far we can go.
@robertschumacher27073 жыл бұрын
@@VadulTharys 'Always remember, follow the human rules of warfare. They are there for YOUR protection!'
@chrisb91432 жыл бұрын
@@robertschumacher2707 "When you break their rules, the become creative. You DON'T want that"
@LiamDerWandrer2 жыл бұрын
@@chrisb9143 Yeah, at that point the geneva convention becomes a to do list full of beautiful suggestions on how best to exterminate the vermin. Which is why we would probably have asked any alien to sign the space version of it right there during first contact if viable. Anyone who does not sign it is liable to experience the geneva suggestion instead of being bound by the geneva convention, if they piss us off enough. XD
@donaldscholand46173 жыл бұрын
Crab aliens: "The humans have a weakness for furry creatures, so we'll cover ourselves with fur to put them off their guard!" Humans: "AAARGH! Giant tarantulas!!" (Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!)
@Southern_Crusader3 жыл бұрын
This made my day, and also terrified the shit outta me.
@justsomehaatonpassingby44883 жыл бұрын
Hans get the plasma thrower!!!
@yelenady63283 жыл бұрын
HANS SCORCH EARTH SCOOOOORCH EAAAAAARRTTTHH
@steveradroach91013 жыл бұрын
Nuke them from orbit,it's the only way to be sure.
@paulhuston99913 жыл бұрын
Kill it! Kill it! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! AND THEN WE EAT!!!
@chrisdufresne93592 жыл бұрын
When in doubt on how to contact humanity, just send in your most adorable species. Preferably covered in fur and looking like mammals.
@donaldscholand46173 жыл бұрын
Warriors don't fight because they hate what is in front of them; they fight because they love what is behind them.
@zzav23453 жыл бұрын
aamen!
@yelenady63283 жыл бұрын
Sabaton but also yes
@theinsanegamer10243 жыл бұрын
And baby space otters are something we will protect.
@paulhuston99913 жыл бұрын
As a combat medic in 3 war zones and 5 aid missions I can attest to this. Only things stronger than fear is hate, love and hunger.
@almar88743 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@williambarnes50233 жыл бұрын
"Wait, you're telling me almost every species in the universe is a giant crab?" "Well, some are more like lobsters." "MA! GET THE FTL DRIVE WARMED UP! AND BUY MORE BUTTER!"
@derekstein61933 жыл бұрын
Pro tip: invest heavily in Old Bay stock.
@Jamhael13 жыл бұрын
*banjo music starts*
@2ndbrain9093 жыл бұрын
Suddenly feels like I’m playing stellaris lol
@RexMK-2 жыл бұрын
MEDITERRANEAN MENU IS BACK BABY
@rosebloodwater132 жыл бұрын
Mind if I bring the Cajun seasonings?
@whatsagoodusername8233 жыл бұрын
That ending reminded me of that line from the story Child's Play, "Congratulations Ruagari, you lost a war to children with a debilitating sickness. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad."
@isaackinsley16623 жыл бұрын
That still makes me laugh. Hard to top a burn of that magnitude.
@Neobahamutfr363 жыл бұрын
That was a good story ^^
@Theminecraftian7723 жыл бұрын
Ah, I remember that one. That part was pretty badass, but the story as a whole is pretty messed up when you think of the implications of what happens next.
@Neobahamutfr363 жыл бұрын
@@Theminecraftian772 well, Humans were just teenagers being rebelious ^^
@Vaprous3 жыл бұрын
Link?
@Eaglefield_3 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the paradox that is being near apex predator and prey. Protective and survival instinct combined into one with adrenaline to give that extra oomph.
@Allantitan3 жыл бұрын
Xenia: *come for slaves* Humans: *adrenaline.exe has activated* *WARNING PROTECTIVE AND SURVIVAL INSTINCTS.EXE AND INSANE MENTALITY.EXE HAVE ACTIVATED*
@thereprehensible4353 жыл бұрын
This. Exactly this. We got boh fight and flight, protect and sacrifice. A real weird mix of intincts.
@sethgilcrist80882 жыл бұрын
You forgot. Safety interlock disable Activate emergency pain blockers
@bradleytaylor7935 Жыл бұрын
Release restraint level 0.
@zachmansfield6640 Жыл бұрын
DISABLING ALL NONLETHAL PREFERENCES SEARCHING FOR NEAREST IMPROVISED WEAPON
@JimmyAgent0073 жыл бұрын
Thank you for reading my story! It's great to see everyone enjoying it! Back in high school, we needed community service every year to graduate so I figured if a bunch of students are on the warpath they might as well cover their bases. They just needed the people they 'serviced' to sign something. I hope to start my own youtube channel as soon as I figure out how to get around the fact I can't draw or animate. Hopefully, I will have more stories for people to enjoy.
@thatonekobold3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for writing it, and best of luck with your KZbin excursion
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the permission and the story
@sammarino73573 жыл бұрын
Man I would love to see the fall of the yukack empire
@JimmyAgent0073 жыл бұрын
@@AgroSquerril I dropped a link to this video in the story itself.
@jeffreyharris34403 жыл бұрын
I lost it when they cried, "Who brought the butter?" Because, of course, that is what they would say.
@robertschumacher27073 жыл бұрын
"What are you spraying the giant crabs with?" 'Lemon juice and melted butter."
@stain10953 жыл бұрын
"You know, for cooking"
@SetzerII3 жыл бұрын
"You barbarian!" "...you need garlic and salt too."
@robertschumacher27073 жыл бұрын
@@SetzerII They clog up the sprayer and need to be added later.
@stain10953 жыл бұрын
@@SetzerII "Ya, thanks for the information"
@robertbemis98003 жыл бұрын
Thou shall not eat Sapient beings No matter how much they deserve it
@TransbianOwl3 жыл бұрын
The only thing that saved the Yukuk, is they very luckily didn't get a chance to even hurt one of the cute and cuddly space otters in front of the humans. If they had, there wouldn't be any Yukuk left to surrender.
@robertschumacher27073 жыл бұрын
"What happened to this one?" "It fell down the stairs 27 times" "27 times?" "At that point it wasn't worth scraping it up for another go." "Ah, alright then."
@TransbianOwl3 жыл бұрын
@@robertschumacher2707 lmao
@ronniehopper27262 жыл бұрын
I'm pretty sure we'd have killed and eating them
@crayzkato66072 жыл бұрын
@@robertschumacher2707 reasonable reaction have a nice day
@Kualinar Жыл бұрын
@@robertschumacher2707 🤣🤣🤣
@DragonLovingGirl62 жыл бұрын
Ah, humans being sweet and gentle with their allies while tearing enemies limb from limb. Now those are the kinds of HFY/'humans are Space Orcs' kinda stories I can get behind.
@noppornwongrassamee89412 жыл бұрын
I imagine that the adults took over the former slaver empire once the kids had to go home. Remaining Yukuk leader: "You're leaving?" *imagines that they can go back to their slaving ways once the monsters leave* Ashley: "Yep. We have to go home. But don't worry, the grownups will be taking over from us." *giant hulking power armor that utterly dwarfs Ashley steps into view* Ashley: "Isn't that right, Daddy?"
@nullvoided83872 жыл бұрын
Yukuk Leader: Wait, you all weren't even adults... *Starts having a minor nervous breakdown* Ashley: Nope! Still got another few years to go for that Every sentient species in the Galactic Community: Note to self, Humans are terrifying even as adolescents and the adults only take that further. Under no circumstances provoke the homocidal space monkies
@SH-qs7ee Жыл бұрын
@@nullvoided8387 "Humans are terrifying even as adolescents". Something humans have known for years now.
@jazgarnunez4606 Жыл бұрын
My Chemical Romance had warned us about this. XD You get a cookie if you know what I mean 🍪
@barelyasurvivor1257 Жыл бұрын
@@SH-qs7ee Humans are terrifying especially as adolescents!
@rumigraciea821610 ай бұрын
Then they meet the elderly who yearn for Valhalla.
@stephenweinelt11753 жыл бұрын
"Like most species in the galaxy, they had evolved into crabs" This made me laugh so hard. To those who dont know, "crabs" have evolved multiple times on earth. Thi gs keep turning into crabs. Half the crabs we call crabs are from different evolutionary branches. Itd be simple convergant evolution if it had happened once or twice...but .. It keeps happening.. Thus leading to the joke amongst people interested evolutionary biology that tue crab is the ultimate form for organic life, and everything will eventualy evolve into a crab.
@2ndbrain9093 жыл бұрын
I’m laughing way too hard at this.
@VadulTharys3 жыл бұрын
Yeah I have read a couple papers about that and seen a few presentations. The thing is no one really knows why everything seems to eventually evolve into a crab. But hey, we just need to make sure we keep cows around so we can keep up the supply of butter.
@KlavierMenn3 жыл бұрын
Maybe the Crab form is the best one possible for a bentonic predator, much like the croc form is the best for aquatic ambush predator AND the fish form is the best to swim?
@markmulder98452 жыл бұрын
I remember roanoke gaming talking a little about this before. I find it hilarious that this keeps coming up since then.
@julians98992 жыл бұрын
@@VadulTharys well i mean the formula seems straight forward right? getting beaten the hell out of at school? 'this case the ocean' well just bring a riot shield. whos ganna hit you now. oh no someone found away around said shield. bring a gu- i mean. "defense tool" and boom now your a badass tank with claws. oh. you taste really good? dam that sucks for you. OH SHIT THERES BUTTER?! DEVOLVE! NOW GET OUT OF THERE!
@eleventhprimarch53033 жыл бұрын
*To the Coalition of Armed Student Volunteers* I wish my college had a Xeno Stomping club! What a field trip!
@kurtismiller95443 жыл бұрын
Do NOT mess with the Cute and Cuddly things, especially threatening slavery. Young human petting machines suddenly become ..... Hulk Smash!
@James-ep2bx3 жыл бұрын
It's how nature made us cute=young young=future anything threatens young/cute MUST, with extreme prejudice, either be taught the error of its ways or eliminated, lest it become a threat later
@paulhuston99913 жыл бұрын
You dont wait for the snake to bite. You smash it before it can!!!
@James-ep2bx3 жыл бұрын
@@paulhuston9991 there's a reason most dangerous animals instinctively fear humans, our ancestors removed enough of those that didn't from the gene pool
@wrathshorts28943 жыл бұрын
Extreme prejudice? You want us to be racist at them?
@James-ep2bx3 жыл бұрын
@@wrathshorts2894 turn of phase, often used to indicate lack of mercy and/or with lots of aggression
@paulhuston99913 жыл бұрын
@@wrathshorts2894 can't be racist against food
@samueltrusik32513 жыл бұрын
The humans in this universe be like: TIME FOR SEAFOOD.
@Deconstruction_Administrator3 жыл бұрын
Seafood Diet in Space: we see them as food. ... ... ... In Space.
@SunshowerWonderlab Жыл бұрын
MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU BOIS
@alfredsutton72333 жыл бұрын
Great story. I can just imagine my daughters manning the barricades. The crabs would not have lasted long. No harm shall come to cute and cuddly..
@Deconstruction_Administrator3 жыл бұрын
The Space Crabs wouldn't like my family. Aside from my mother's side of the family (and by extension, my step-father's) EVERY household in my family has at least 1 Crab Pot, except my Sister, who has only just moved into her own place. And Christmas isn't Christmas without a Mud Crab in the middle of the table.
@stain10953 жыл бұрын
@@Deconstruction_Administrator The crabs would be horrorfided
@Immoralbites3 жыл бұрын
Load shotguns with Old Bay, "Girls, they want to take the cute and cuddlys..." ... "Ya'll don't go out there now... it will be messy "...
@Immoralbites3 жыл бұрын
whelp, there is a note here somewhere about getting between females and cute things....
@roboticfish3172 жыл бұрын
I had a friend say she would castrate someone if they didn't let her play with a puppy she was almost 20
@SunshowerWonderlab Жыл бұрын
@@roboticfish317 makes sense
@taitano123 жыл бұрын
Y'know, we might have defended the crabs against slavers if they weren't slavers. Heck, I could see us looking the other way if they hunted the adults for food(unlikely, but I could see it; natural order and all). But kidnapping baby otters for slavery? No. We'll serve you up with butter and cornbread. If it's other space otters kidnapping the babies, we'll use BBQ sauce. For all things cute and cuddly!
@paulhuston99913 жыл бұрын
4 word warning that gets anything killed... "DONT FRICK WITH KIDS!"
@VadulTharys3 жыл бұрын
Was another HFY story I stumbled across a few months ago, the galaxy's most feared race attacked and killed a ship with human school kids on a field trip and broadcast it to the galaxy. Their extermination was quick and total.
@realistic-location92133 жыл бұрын
That was probably one of the better ones I've listened to. Especially at the end when you find out they're actually juvenile delinquents there to do community service. Edit. The original author has commented and said that I am Incorrect and it was a requirement for the school that they have extra credit.
@henrypaleveda77603 жыл бұрын
that also makes the competence with improvised weapons seem more believable. Humans can do a bunch of cool stuff but that's usually with experience or some specialization; a lot of the stories just go with "this is what people have done in the past so this random person can do that too" rather than building a general idea of the person's capabilities- I know that the stories would be a lot longer if they went over the back ground of ever human.
@calvingreene903 жыл бұрын
In many places community service credit requirements are not punishment just a requirement to graduate from high school.
@realistic-location92133 жыл бұрын
@@calvingreene90 while that is true, some of those high schools are also the schools where they send the delinquents. I suppose anybody could take the story any Direction they want I just kind of prefer it from my perspective.
@JimmyAgent0073 жыл бұрын
@@calvingreene90 My school did this so that's why I had it in the story
@realistic-location92133 жыл бұрын
@@JimmyAgent007 are you the original author?
@Maddog30602 жыл бұрын
Funny thing us crabs ain't even that bad looking. I mean, still creepy, especially if they're big as us. But honestly fungus and actual insects are far more disgusting. But good on that crab guy for recognizing that humans' long experience with domestication has ingrained in us a protective drive for allied species almost as strong as that we show our children. "This was the first time an entire sapient species was adopted wholesale by another." -Exceprt, "Humans Are Weird Monsters; or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cuddles."
@matthewwilmeth15792 жыл бұрын
"Yeah you see they come and steal our children cause it's easier to train them young" .............. "Human are you alright?" Eye begins twitching. "Human...?" *Rage ⚠️* THEY FOCKIN WOT?!?
@adamelliott36943 жыл бұрын
The Yukuk survivors still tell horror stories about . . . "old bay."
@rosebloodwater132 жыл бұрын
Poor bastards can't even look at tall pots or butter without having a panic attack.
@Talon11243 жыл бұрын
An entire space empire got felled by a few juvenile delinquents and a construction crew on a space otter colony. Just imagine what would have happened if an actual Militia or the actual Military got involved.
@shumpbarbarian3 жыл бұрын
The funny thing is, that is exactly the reason that they would actually want to surrender to a group of kids specifically. The military would have no grounds for retaliation.
@MoSteel4973 жыл бұрын
I don't think student volunteers sent to watch over a daycare would be a group of delinquents
@kriegsmanjaeger55452 жыл бұрын
@@MoSteel497 I imagine if it's minor stuff like stealing it's possible, but anything more than that and it's a definite no
@Gilhelmi2 жыл бұрын
Not delinquents. We would not send even someone who had a minor record. More like "foriegn exchange students", out on a cultural exchange trip.
@SamN234 Жыл бұрын
@@MoSteel497 well they left their post so by definition they became delinquent 🙃
@royalroses1233 жыл бұрын
The sea food market is going to have a hella economic boom. You know what I’m talking about…
@karlwikman38742 жыл бұрын
Tiny floofy thing: *is in danger* Humankind: *Halo theme intensifies*
@Mae_Dastardly Жыл бұрын
If humans beat the covenant to discovering grunts
@DarkProtector Жыл бұрын
Congratulations crabs you just provoked literal millennia of pack bonding instinct and our pathological primate rage.
@lloydkeith30613 жыл бұрын
And that was college students,... I dare say the far more violent military would have crushed them so quickly and throughly that wouldn't have even been able to surrender. It would have been over before it was even on.
@seanpeacock42903 жыл бұрын
considering that most recruits are only 18 - 19 when they join, college students are older. As for community service, I could fill a battalion from soldiers who got in minor trouble and had to do some community service, mostly disorderly conduct on a Friday night.
@paulhuston99913 жыл бұрын
Yeah as a military man there would probably not be enough to toss in the pot for dinner
@reikolupus1363 жыл бұрын
You kill a Human, we'll hunt you down and put you to trial, where you'll be severily punished. You kill one of our fluffy cute and cuddle companions? You won't even get to have a trial.
@thelivingghost5695 Жыл бұрын
Crab Aliens: We have come to enslave all things cute and cuddly. Humans:...so you have chosen DEATH
@dragonriderabens9761 Жыл бұрын
Damn…Ashley pulled a Glory Kill on that crab monster You go girl, RIP AND FUCKING TEAR!!!
@Kanamesamasqueen Жыл бұрын
Even if I know that the one giving orders should be in their late teens at the youngest I keep imaging a 10 year old girl screaming "KILL! PROTECT THE CUTE & CUDDLY!!"
@JimmyAgent007 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes the one in charge is simply the one with an idea and a plan.
@calvingreene902 жыл бұрын
If you are are friend there is almost nothing we will not do for you. If you are our enemy there is almost nothing we won't do to you. --- From somewhere on the internet. Ps. Enslaving children makes you our enemy. Cute and cuddly children doubly so.
@SiegeTF3 жыл бұрын
Well its a good thing they weren't Space Amazon River Otters or we might've wound up siding with the damned crabs!
@prussiankingdom16933 жыл бұрын
Jesus Christ, i agree. They look like they want to eat my soul
@thatonekobold3 жыл бұрын
At that point they would probably be more dangerous than us
@peekakuchu68783 жыл бұрын
Them crabs shouldn't be near a hungry human ... Show them mukbangers... It's a curse being so tasty... Who can resist?? Furry toddlers awww!!! FTA!!
@massimothetrog71112 жыл бұрын
Ashley: No retreat, no surrender and for the love of everything cute and cuddly...no mercy.(Doom music kicks in) Don't be a tasty looking crab alien slaver...we will bring butter and lemon
@eurogryphon3 жыл бұрын
Anyone else have a sudden and inexplicable craving for crab cakes?
@thereprehensible4353 жыл бұрын
*PROTECC THE OTTERS!* *FOR ALL THAT IS CUTE AND CUDDLY!*
@kevanfoster10 ай бұрын
"Who's bringing the butter?" I'm picturing that young girl absolutely murdering that giant crab and asking for butter after. Sure she would like a snack after all that fighting, though.
@JimmyAgent0079 ай бұрын
Who wouldn't!? lol
@donaldscholand46173 жыл бұрын
Humans may not make good pets, but cute and cuddly aliens could do a lot worse than allowing humans to consider them as pets!😉 I loved the line about the misunderstanding about the crab festival. 😁 I could see most of the races in the galaxy being crabs becoming a problem down the road, however. 😋🍴🍲
@kdarkwynde3 жыл бұрын
Billy-Bob, Space Trucker has a lot to say about, and I quote, "The ass-faced crabs."
@chongwillson9723 жыл бұрын
@Donald Scholand i dont know being consider a pet is the same of being domestic slave just with a cuter sounding name to it...
@VadulTharys3 жыл бұрын
@@chongwillson972 No dogs are not slaves, and cats are actually our masters though we call them pets.
@chongwillson9723 жыл бұрын
@@VadulTharys pets are property of their master which can be traded or sold meaning treating a intelligent being like a pet is not really different than treating them as a slave
@emilynelson5646 Жыл бұрын
@@VadulTharys dogs are our partners.
@kaerouse482 жыл бұрын
They were given a choice: Surrender or be the "guests of honor" at a Sea food Buffet
@Messywildcat783 жыл бұрын
They surrendered to the students in 6 miners. The human military didn’t get involved apparently or it would have been over in 1 month. Tell the people in the Northeast of the US and that empire would be gone in a week.
@calvingreene903 жыл бұрын
That was not a war. It was arresting a kidnapping gang.
@Tempestan3 жыл бұрын
That turned into an all you can eat crab leg feast
@ATSucks13 жыл бұрын
...I know it's wrong to eat sentients but they were trying to hurt the space otters.. and yes I did bring some genuine terran spices. If the space otters dont twll I'm not telling either.
@kireta21 Жыл бұрын
"They are slavers!" [chill music stops] "they're here for our children" ["The Only Thing They Fear" starts playing]
@MrSnuggles253 жыл бұрын
One small step for man one giant like for the algorithm
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
For the algorithm
@nos23423 жыл бұрын
To please the algorithm is all
@magosmarechferracioli11282 жыл бұрын
4:12 This diplomat's first instinct, upon meeting a new and hithertoo unknown alien species, was to approach them rapidly and manhandle their children. Fucking humans, man.
@SkyEcho7513 жыл бұрын
"To the Coalition of Armed *Student Volunteers*." They weren't even a primarily military force, rather they just armed themselves and won a war against a slaver race. Shows exactly what humans are capable of.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
indeed
@greenrena85033 жыл бұрын
Heh, funny. Somehow nature alway evolves crabs, up to five times already! This is the concept of Carcinisation.
@nitpick26133 жыл бұрын
A question not answered, how did they taste with butter?
@wrathshorts28943 жыл бұрын
I think about this with people from my high school. Some of those knuckle draggers towered over the teachers. Boys AND girls.
@GuukanKitsune Жыл бұрын
"I do not love the sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I only love that which they defend." -Faramir, son of Denethor, Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien.
@WeatherStone2 жыл бұрын
indeed we are monsters, but only for those who deserve to be hunted by monsters
@virtualatheist Жыл бұрын
Pul: Smiles and nods. Of all the souls I have met, his was the most... Human.
@SergeyWaytov3 жыл бұрын
At least they didn't make it to my old AF headcanon sci-fi civilization, those guys would casually check if there are otters onboard, and then proceed with making a mess from those crabs. TL;DR idea was kinda dimension-hopper race making alliances with various fictional universes they stumbled upon, based on what I was watching, reading or playing. Following scene is an example of possible outcome, not nearly as hillarious, but properly showing how lucky those space crab Batarians are: *Slaver ship appears* -Psy-corps, any sings of our otter friends on ship? *One of techie things on ship hull moving, and a group of psionics doing a collective ping using amplifier tech* -Ping returned negative, sir *With malicious change in voice on "systems intact"* -Then pop that ship, I want their systems intact -Call in one of our Hammerheads, I want the Yamato shot to their engine, and a virus in life support running rampant *Space otter is in shock* -W-what do you mean? *Person in question gives malicious smile to holo-comms* -Well, Command said they wanted systems operational, when I pop that craft, nothing about the crew, and struggling for air as they're running for their voidsuits, means no one will be there to fight or get any other stupid ideas And that be same people who's been acting like a girl who seen adorable kittens when around otter younglings
@deathknight2425 Жыл бұрын
The Yukak upon finding out they were defeat by teens start singing "Teenagers scare the living shit outta me!"
@karasuchrono3 жыл бұрын
Cuuuute~ 🥰 I would defend these space otters with all I have! For all that is cute and cuddly!!
@13thBear3 жыл бұрын
That was an unexpected story. Gruesome, enjoyable, but oh man, what a party that must have been!
@IRMentat3 жыл бұрын
A truly magnificent banner to rally behind.
@redraptorx10662 жыл бұрын
"oh... so the space crabs are slavers who want to take the space otter pups? how about we give them something different?" *proceeds to go ape-shive on any space crab dumb enough not to run back into their ships*
@Tezunegari2 жыл бұрын
"humans are weird monsters... end of story" humanity summarized, abridged version Though I have to wonder what the aliens would have done if the humans had send them some delicious recipes... like crab rangoon.
@JohnnyYK2 жыл бұрын
If I had to defend adorable otter people against tasty crab bois I’m getting my rifle and my crab boil.
@alexs58143 жыл бұрын
i wonder how we'd react to a species of heartmeltingly adorable aliens who'd also use their looks to prey upon other species like Xenomoprhs or Ashen or something. I imagine we'd want to eardicate them for their transgressions against all pure cute and cuddly things?
@noppornwongrassamee89412 жыл бұрын
Um... you know about cats, right?
@sarahmeacheam75172 жыл бұрын
We love to cuddle cute creatures and we love eating crabs
@onemoregodrejected93693 жыл бұрын
Imagine hurting the cute baby space others on our watch...
@donaldscholand46173 жыл бұрын
Crab slaver aliens: "No doubt about it, we need to get bigger guns!"
@Gilhelmi2 жыл бұрын
*Laughs in humanity *Pulls out bigger "gun" I call her "the Peacemaker".
@timeshark87273 жыл бұрын
FOR THE EMP... er... THE FLOOFERS!
@justsomejerseydevilwithint46063 жыл бұрын
In the words of a six-armed alien superweapon monstrosity now living in Hawai'i, "NOT SO CUTE AND _FLUFFY!!!!"_
@oblivion7153 жыл бұрын
I don't get the reference.
@thatonekobold3 жыл бұрын
Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind
@chrisdufresne93593 жыл бұрын
@@oblivion715 Lilo and Stitch
@oblivion7153 жыл бұрын
@@chrisdufresne9359 Stitch has four arms.
@skyrere3 жыл бұрын
I can't stop giggling. This is such a great story.
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
glad you enjoyed
@calvingreene902 жыл бұрын
Now that the initial threat is taken care of, we will take our new ship and pop off to earth to get a few real weapons.
@bradwolf07 Жыл бұрын
Don't mess with humanity's friends...we don't don't take kindly to that
@Deconstruction_Administrator3 жыл бұрын
So... it's basically the same motivation as Doom 2.
@ettibbet54932 жыл бұрын
They killed daisy, the bastards
@gothicshark3 жыл бұрын
For the love of cute and cuddly, I will go full murder hobo on crabs. Check. BTW, am I allowed to bring butter and garlic?
@oldnick4707 Жыл бұрын
"Because he was the first to leave the star system who wasn't a politician." is a gem! Lol!
@JimmyAgent00711 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@oldnick470711 ай бұрын
@@JimmyAgent007, I might need to reread this to actually know what I'm talkin about, lol,, but I recall it was some very good writing, and a great story! Good job buddy!
@justsomejerseydevilwithint46063 жыл бұрын
Crabs are delicious.
@Deconstruction_Administrator3 жыл бұрын
Especially Mud Crab.
@drewahrens31413 жыл бұрын
yes, one of my favorite meals
@Amoth_oth_ras_shash2 жыл бұрын
and hence forth the galaxy learnt to fear the war cry of ''FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING CUTE AND CUDLY!'' I just.... for some reason it gives me the mental image of a drooling slaving horde of orcs fighting each other looking up as something catched ther attention seeing a kitten who's owner died being picked up by some infiltrator crab alien.. and suddenly like riples on water all orcs stops fighting each other and charges the kitten eating one with rage making ther previous screaming and mutilating violance of each other look like a court dance XD
@Psalmster023 Жыл бұрын
Attacking cute and cuddly that are pups?
@MrBishop0773 жыл бұрын
Hah, hope they got extra credit. 😀
@TrueFork3 жыл бұрын
the empire surrendered after seeing footage of the post-battle crab festival
@Gilhelmi2 жыл бұрын
@@TrueFork the human diplomatic corp, Cried. Then Laughed. Then ripped out their hair. Then Laughed while Crying. All while the students received the highest civilian honors from the government.
@bigbrobluesman74422 жыл бұрын
hold up did they just surrender to a kids club?
@ArronRatliff Жыл бұрын
I hope they had lemon juice with them. A crab boil just aint worth eatin if'n ya aint got lemon juice.
@CHRF-55457 Жыл бұрын
Whats even more funnier is that it was students!! Not the actual human military but actual students that brought down that slave empire
@zyanidwarfare5634 Жыл бұрын
Humans backed into a corner, with something to protect behind them, are very vicious They would have fought the same even if they were outmatched
@julesmasseffectmusic11 ай бұрын
Alien: you glassed 6 of our world's over 6 children. Human amabassador: we have said it so often it's a cliche, Our children mean the world to us. We never it was our world. The Geneva convention isn't a list of war crimes. It's our list of things we know work to effectively. It's to protect us from ourselves not you from us.
@julesmasseffectmusic11 ай бұрын
The only th9ng that can protect you from us, is us.
@seldonwright4345 Жыл бұрын
It was wise to surrender. We got their ship! Bring butter! Surrender better than extinct. (burp)
@sethfischer7368 Жыл бұрын
Listen I'm recently started a divorce and fell heavy into ❄️ abuse. I'm now battling for my life divorce drive me to substance and that pushed my children away. My new gf ran around while I was at work and laughed about it behind my back to her pals and did for 6months plus numeric guys like at least 2 a month at least 2 a month.....this channel keeps the gun out of my mouth every damn night. Thank you
@JimmyAgent007 Жыл бұрын
I know how hard a divorce can suck. I'm glad if my story can help with that.
@tonyrodriguez42332 жыл бұрын
This was pretty great lol there was probably stuffed crab for weeks
@marions.3657 Жыл бұрын
When you know that most people are ready to kill another human if it means protecting their pets XD
@timothypryor79522 жыл бұрын
Funny thing, the larger and older a crab get's the worse it tends to taste. For some reason they just don't taste as good when super large.
@gnz11z2 жыл бұрын
50 gal drum of soy, some garlic, hot sauce and butter could make it edible..
@Gilhelmi2 жыл бұрын
It's not about taste, it's about making an example.
@csi1392 Жыл бұрын
toxins build up as they age
@Little_Meower3 жыл бұрын
Five words for the algorithm!
@AgroSquerril3 жыл бұрын
for the algorithm i guess
@sherylcascadden4988 Жыл бұрын
For the love of everything cute and cuddly.... And for the algorithm!
@karcistthurgy3025 Жыл бұрын
Totally love the name, Coalition of Armed Student Volunteers, for the love of everything cute and cuddly
@ianhogben3472 Жыл бұрын
we'er the worst kind of monster the ones the monsters fear
@rosebloodwater132 жыл бұрын
13:25 the construction crew was just saying what was on all our minds lol
@jazgarnunez4606 Жыл бұрын
Why do I hear Teenager by My Chemical Romance playing in the background.
@futuresonex7 ай бұрын
"So what did you do for your community service requirement?" "Oh, you know, destroyed an alien slave empire because they were stealing baby space otters. You?"