r/HFY TFOS# 703 - Stick, Rock, Hide (Reddit Hfy Sci-Fi)

[@Jason-sm4oc]

Never underestimate a human with a pointy stick! "A two by four wiv a nail in it" is an awesome melee weapon

[@arobidy]

5k humans vs a galaxy conquering race. Humans: shit our guns need to be bigger but... hey go get those weebs! They can buy us a bit of time.

[@algorithmicabyss4150]

Too accurate

[@craftysmithkeith3653]

I know you jest but the triarrii were probably old sword masters, too old to be on the frontline and too few to be made into proper units

[@henrypaleveda7760]

and the Scotsmen, don;t forget the Scotsmen

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@henrypaleveda7760 "ye nambies ne be eat'n my wee men"

[@styxriverr5237]

Ah yes the ultimate weapon..... The pointy stick.

[@AgroSquerril]

plenty for everyone

[@catwithsomeears2206]

Unironically, when you think about it, it kind of is lol. Easy to make out of most materials, extremely low skill floor to wield and rather high skill ceiling, a good in hand range and throwable. Don’t underestimate a pointy stick or at the very least a lot of people with pointy sticks.

[@derrickzane5834]

Hey man, sharp sticks are plenty good enough for the Colonial Marine Corps, just ask Hicks.

[@jeremycheney142]

An effective example would be punjii traps.

[@asdrubaelvect8038]

Always has been meme

[@jaredchinchello1760]

"Speak softly and carry a big stick." -President Theodore Roosevelt

[@calvingreene90]

Today it is "Speak softly with a main battle tank rumbling menacingly in the distance." It works well for peace keepers.

[@crowgrabber_former_er5bb8yb2t]

​@@calvingreene90replace tank with ICBM

[@calvingreene90]

@@crowgrabber_former_er5bb8yb2t Rumbling ICBMs are either on the way or about to explode.

[@darkhorse13golfgaming]

This is one of my favorites ever. Well written and narrated.....and Cavalry! GARRY OWEN!

[@H3xx99]

If you're enemy is meat in a tin can, and you're having trouble stabbing the meat through the can, then hit the can hard enough to bruise the meat.

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

But fire

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@WE_DONT_LIE that's actually a good point, if they are bugs, and their shielding only fucks with projectile and high intensity directed energy weapons, why not use a flamenwerfer

[@jameshenderson4094]

​@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 honestly yes, you're right the only reason it's not touched on is probably because it'd be hard to justify stopping low velocity burning fuel but not low velocity steel

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@jameshenderson4094 not really, if it's ignited at the nozzle, like most flamethrowers, you're no longer talking Ballistics, you're talking thermodynamics.

[@Achonas]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 for a combat use flamethrower, you are absolutely still talking ballistics. Combat flamethrowers are throwing a liquid fuel that they set on fire at the nozzle. what you're thinking of is the civilian style. just a big flame. Sure, it'll burn something, but its not gonna kill very fast if you need to hold the flame on them. with the liquid it gets on and around the target, and just keeps burning.

[@davehood2667]

Anyone who abandons melee training will regret it when the fight is too close for shooting, that's the real reason we still issue bayonets and in some branches combat knives and hand axes, particularly in urban combat the fight starts at hand to hand range.

[@alexistaylor969]

I swear I heard at 2:22 "Humans even preserved tomes written by their finest dick swingers.." I was like yeah that is a pretty brutal and ancient method of warfare.

[@krisandersen8695]

Excellent story ! And very true in its premise. Stick, Stone, Hide. Every weapon Mankind uses fits into one of those categories.

[@mattbrown5511]

The race to develop arms versus armor is a never-ending pursuit. Going back to basics is not always devolving, it can be adapting to the current circumstances.

[@genericface]

So, humans actually teach the "stick, rock, hide" waltz to many of our youngest. That's all "rock, paper, scissors" is. Rock, Hide, Stick. Rock beats stick, stick beats hide, hide beats rock.

[@Inquisitor-Yog-Sothoth]

So this is the start of the Space Marines

[@DocWolph]

and the Tyranids.

[@brotherbacchaddemater4892]

Yes.

[@bobsterclause342]

Your rocks don’t work. Your sticks do. Maybe if they said they would stick them, they would be afraid. I can’t believe I’m saying this. I need to die.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

we all will with time; no need to rush it. I thought it was funny anyway, don't stop being you.

[@dalemorgan8263]

Everyone else: forgets Stick Humanity: Always Stick. Never not Stick.

[@AgroSquerril]

stick go bonk

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

Don't forget, many "rocks" are just thrown sticks.

[@SiegeTF]

I has a stikk. *And may the galaxy tremble.*

[@chadman3881]

I came, I watched, and I enjoyed.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad to hear it

[@bobsterclause342]

Anything from 40k inspires.

[@ashleycroydon9743]

I always love these type of stories. Sticks and stones have been our oldest friends.

[@oli3645]

I was expecting the motorcycle rider to come to battle BLASTING : WHEN THE WINGED HUSSARDS ARRIVED!!!

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

Or ghost division... Or Primo Victoria... Fuck it, any sabaton song that isn't Shiroyama(not because it isn't good, it is, but because it's literally a song about blades being replaced by guns)

[@texasforever7887]

Pikes, polearms and spears make a more effective and efficient pointy sticks then swords.

[@H1Guard]

Ok, the energy weapons and slugthrowers didn't work. But why couldn't they used ppwer armor and hand weapons?

[@Demonicpurity]

I like it, but the bikes at the end left me wondering why they were using shield and word tactics when vehicles worked. Maybe not their guns, but a tank is still a tank. And what about guided munitions. Not laser designated, but good old wire guided.

[@janthion3590]

Numbers maybe? At that point there was 1 kind of mantid left?

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

You're thinking too advanced. Yes go with tanks, but if what it does is change the trajectory of beam and projectile weaponry, go for good old thermodynamics and use tanks with flamethrowers on them, if those bugs react to fire in the same way earth bugs do, then it should work.

[@Demonicpurity]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 advanced? I'm talking run them over with 40tons of steel.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@Demonicpurity I was talking about the wire guided munitions

[@robertstoneking7916]

Deathrace 2000 (the original David Carradine version) tanks.

[@techristopher8077]

Again, a marvelous telling of a great deed to be praised

[@Messywildcat78]

Yeah.... good reading but this story bothers me to no end due to the author’s choice to just Yeet physics out the window and say muscle powered weapons are the only way to kill.

[@AgroSquerril]

These things do happen i am afraid , there are a couple of them that i have done

[@hamstermk4]

It was a very contrived situation, but I really wanted to write melee heavy field battle and all my readings of HFY to that point had been SciFi based. It was pointed out to me in the the thread that rolling the Mantids with a monster truck would have been a far more optimal solution.

[@styxriverr5237]

Yes that could work... But pointy sticks.

[@craftysmithkeith3653]

Well it is sci-fi so maybe it’s Roman inspired powered armor

[@asurasyn]

Flamethrowers. Flamethrowers solve everything.

[@BaronB.BlazikenBaronOfBarons]

Great Story, but I’m infinitely upset that you didn’t even attempt to say the song lyrics in the way you pronounce them in the song!

[@AgroSquerril]

ill try do better in the future.... meybe

[@Danieljfriend275]

Buddy your boy making a great big noise

[@dwaynewilson1563]

Great story, I could see it in my head, pour one out😂.

[@hamstermk4]

I appreciate your narration, but your pronunciation of "Triarii" is a bit weird.

[@samsonitis1]

Yea it’s tree-our-ree-Eye not try-ree

[@anthony49812]

Ive never heard the word so for me the way he pronounced it is perfect 😅. I just love these stories especially the xenos perspective of us.

[@BowedSiren640Xbox]

Funny thing is, the author didn’t even write Triarii, they wrote Terrarii. Like a Terran-Triarii. It’s super weird

[@hamstermk4]

@@BowedSiren640Xbox I am the author, this was a mistake on my part. This was the fourth story I published online and I was still getting my spell checking/fact checking procedure down.

[@BowedSiren640Xbox]

@@hamstermk4 thanks for that. Loved the story btw

[@thenthson]

For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@peekakuchu6878]

Awesome FTA!

[@AgroSquerril]

FTA

[@Enderborn272]

I read that as fuck the algorithm and honestly I like that sentiment better.

[@kyleduell2577]

One of the best you've found. This, and Ragnarok protocol

[@Crowbars357]

Leman Russ, Wolf-King of Fenris and Primarch of the Space Wolves, approves of this, though not the Xonos presence

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

Eh, maybe, but even the Imperium and space Marines work with xenos sometimes, specifically when fighting either Chaos, Nids and occasionally Orks. It's just usually those alliances are tense and short lived at best

[@Crowbars357]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 oh they’ll accept assistance if it’s mutually beneficial (I.e. against the Nids or Chaos.) doesn’t mean they won’t resume hostility soon afterwords though.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@Crowbars357 also, remember, both the current head of the Custodes(GW Claimed it, so it's Canon) and Guilliman have/had Xeno girlfriends. Guilliman an Eldar and Custodes boy Tau(Shadowsun IIRC) And yes I know that it's not official 40k lore, but GW copyright claimed it, therefore it is canon.

[@draconus15]

Idk why I really want to see if napalm sticks to bugs

[@andrewstrongman305]

The only problem with this tale is the 'motorcycle cavalry'. A more effective cavalry option would be tanks equipped with various bladed or flailing weapons. Landmines might also prove effective in breaking up Mantid attacks. Also, we wouldn't hesitate to use chemical warfare or nukes against such an enemy.

[@calvingreene90]

Motorcycle cavalry is much more fuel efficient and they are probably dragoons in practice.

[@andrewstrongman305]

@@calvingreene90 Whatever, they make poor 'cavalry'. If lances and swords were effective, even a 20 ton IFV would wreak havoc, let alone a 70 ton MBT.

[@calvingreene90]

@@andrewstrongman305 Dragoons are mounted infantry people that are capable of fighting IFVs and MBTs. When they are minimally equiped for it such as having a few RPG-7s. Motorcycles also require less maintenance than APCs & IFVs. Getting tanks to the battlefield combat ready is a major logistical problem. Tanks require more maintenance manhours and supplies than helicopters. And not to be forgotten you can equip an entire battalion with motorcycles for the price of one tank. An APC is a device for concentrating infantrymen for mass slaughter. --- Murphy

[@robertstoneking7916]

Tabun, soman, sarin they're all basically highly lethal insecticide. I wonder how vesicants effect chitin.

[@r.connor9280]

Strobe helmets, polarized goggles, Electric batons and sturdy shield And flamethrower APC's

[@TheStarMachine2000]

GLORIOUS! TO BATTLE!

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@Maeshalanadae]

Just means we’ve learned the ins and outs of Stick and Rock.

[@140kittykat]

Wonder how good stick-powered rock would have worked out

[@PoldaranOfDalaran]

Oh come on. Needs chainsaw swords at least. And powered armor.

[@gregkelmis2435]

A very beautiful story.

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@makethomas752]

The emperor protects

[@asurasyn]

War. War never changes.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@J0hnB09]

Stick rock and hide just needed a little break.

[@GhstTwnzFnst]

This should be a movie or something.

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

I did wonder when a story would crop up where Xenos had a Sardukar like foe

[@jameshopkins1182]

Squirrel i hate to be this guy but the proper way to pronounce Triarii is (tree ahrr reh eye) i say this with love and respect because i listen to your channel more than maybe i should, but well, this is my mum coming out. Don't just mean what you say, say exactly what you mean to say!!

[@jameshopkins1182]

and in the roman legions the triarii were spearmen.... somebody play rome-total war!

[@whowhat4573]

Algorithm be pleased.

[@theycallmetim4201]

Great story

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@coolhikerdude]

Good story!

[@kirstenwyatt9675]

This sounds like Rock, Paper, Scissors.

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Prophet

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For Argo

[@mrmatthewnelson13]

this video has ben algorithmically perused

[@devinmelvig8732]

Love this one greatly. Love the jokes put in it. F.T.A

[@Wastelandman7000]

BIG STICK ENERGY!!!!

[@sherylcascadden4988]

The explanation for why guns/missiles don't work is missing something. It really doesn't make sense to me. Good storytelling, but poorly defined science.

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@MrIrvash]

Good story but small question... why not weld a stick to a tank and charge the lines :)?

[@bkane573]

Budget cuts.

[@carlfranz6805]

No war elephants? Kind of disappointing.

[@bathroomprophet2310]

That's a good one

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@justinsmith5870]

Hear me out, chainsaw tanks.

[@MarkGast]

Is the Algorithm11! a rock or stick? Probably a stick.

[@jeremycheney142]

The device is made of metal is it not?

[@giselagrosjean1075]

Merci fta

[@FedralBI]

F.T.A.

[@AgroSquerril]

F.T.A.

[@geoshark12]

Was this all for a queen joke

[@AgroSquerril]

we would never , never..... ok .... maybe we would

[@Bdady74]

Algorithm appeasement comment

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@robbierobbo4318]

FTA

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@merlinwizard1000]

121st, 3 June 2023

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm