AITA For Being "Disgusting" In Front Of Fiancés Family To Prove A Point r/AmITheA**hole

[@hatterrose]

OP in the "poop" story was damned if she did, and damned if she didn't. If she had left, they would have called her rude/disrespectful for leaving a party they planned and put effort into. Clearly after 4 years of knowing her, they thought her dietary restrictions are bullshit. The whole "live a little" makes it clear this was a passive-aggressive move on MIL's part. That is dangerous and disrespectful towards OP. Her fiance clearly doesn't understand what his family is doing to alienate OP...I have a suspicion this is not the first time they have tried things like this.

[@cchastant8251]

Story 1: NTA She's been with her bf for 4 years. One might assume she's eaten with his family before, considering they know she eats "rabbit food." So to celebrate her plans to join the family, they make certain there's NOTHING on the table she can safely consume. I think she did the best thing to ensure they will listen more closely in the future to what she says she can eat, and if I were her, I'd have stated pretty bluntly, "Dinner was amazing. I didn't eat much, because... well, I have to pay for it like that," and wave towards the bathroom. "Thanks for encouraging me to try it anyway. Wish I dared do that even once a month." But then, I can be a petty, vengeful little B. Considering that the bf stopped backing her once her bowels spewed fiery doom on the half bath, and began berating her for being petty... she needs to rethink going further with him. No matter what she chose to do, his family was going to take it poorly. Refuse to eat? Stuck up! Leaving because her needful diet, even one dish she could safely eat wasn't on the table? Too picky of an eater, son! What do you see in that scrawny B? Leave before the night was "over?" She's trying to steal our son away!! Or, she just doesn't want to get to know us, stuck up B. The bf turning on her isn't a good sign either, but she did need to put her foot down, to SHOW THEM why she couldn't/shouldn't eat what they were offering.

[@AnimeLover-iy5bv]

For story 1 OP will never be TA because the fact of the matter is they had an engagement dinner and didn't have food for one of the people it was for.

[@pansprayers]

That's EXACTLY what I landed on. If you don't make food for the guest of honor, they aren't the guest of honor, this isn't a party for them.

[@bookmarkobjectanimations123]

I landed on the exact opposite. Only the fiancee is not the asshole as he gave OP a way out without being rude as his parents were being literal idiots and thought her physical inabity to eat certain foods was from insecurity. But OP CHOSE to stay. This is what makes OP an asshole aswell. They were given a choice. And chose the one that embarrasses their fiance. And after that, doesn't feel bad at all. Only posting it on aita to prove a point to their fiancee.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@bookmarkobjectanimations123 he gave her an out that would leave all the blame on her being a bitch for refusing to eat the food they worked so hard for during their celebration. I'm guessing ya never had to deal with shitty passive aggressive family before? I have and the best way to deal with them is either to never talk to them again or be even more passive aggressive back.

[@gaylenewood7707]

What's scary if she and the guy had a child that could have a severe allergic reaction to dairy or something and her in laws will say oh just let the child live a little while the child is gasping for air..

[@RaizelSX]

@@Kris-wo4pj let me ask why is it so important for her to not look bitchy for not eating something that could potentially hospitalize her? The family is trash, she should have taken the out, she's NTA to the family but she is to her fiance who gave her that out. We don't know how he asked it, he could have whispered like yo this not cool, you wanna leave, and then take a stand there but nope. People here are weird want to be passive agressive with people that don't vibe with them like that, how about simply leaving and/or not going anywhere until you get an apology And yes I've dealt with passive agressive people and all who know me know I'm agressive when it come to being left tf alone. If I say I don't like something, people respect it and leave it alone, they also know the reprocusions of trying to push for bs, not that I ask for much if anything at all, and what she is asking (not demanding) isn't a big stretch, she failed when she stayed to took that mud butt L

[@juliahaynie2910]

I have atypical Crohn’s, so instead of diarrhea I have constipation instead. Once my body does let me pass stool, it is incredibly painful and I oftentimes cry in the bathroom. I get people not believing me that I have Crohn’s because of the atypical presentation. I also get people accusing me of being a drama Queen when I emerge from the bathroom with red eyes. It’s always terrible when people think they can look at a body and know what’s happening inside it. Invisible disabilities are just as incapacitating, and people need to be supportive of friends and family when they are trying to live a good life despite the challenges of their meat sacks.

[@MsTemptation]

TMI. TMI.😱😱🤮🤮

[@sylviajones6745]

I get it. My oldest twin daughter gets diarrhea, i get constipated. It was so bad one time, I hurt just sitting on the toilet. Poop came out so huge, I felt like I gave birth. Now I have polyps. I feel you.

[@guacaMolly3997]

Story 1: I see it SO many times where people just straight up ignore allergies and other food restrictions. What is wrong with people?? Even if they can digest it, it could be because of their religion, or because they don't like it, or hell, maybe they just don't wanna eat it. Is it that hard? NTA and she needs to have a sit down with her fiance and his family and tell them that this is a serious matter that can't be ignored.

[@TheFortniteStorm]

Just his family. The fiance seems to understand. He's just mad she choose to eat it instead of leaving.

[@MeepChangeling]

If it's because of the brainwashing their parents forced on them (ie religion), then it should be corrected for as a part of the victim's deprogramming. But I otherwise agree with you.

[@sebastianjoseph9628]

The fiancé tried to help, he was saying that they could leave or not eat if she didn’t want to. She turned him down in order to be passive aggressive, she should have listened to her fiancé as that could’ve been avoided entirely. Edit: I was wrong, sorry for wasting your time and I hope you have a good day

[@ceeshnia]

@@MeepChangeling Some people go into religions willingly, as adults. Also, if someone isn't used to eating certain foods, trying to sneak it in and/or force them can actually cause harm because their body isn't used to digesting it. Be a bit more inclusive; some choose religion, some don't. I don't agree with not allowing your children to make that decision for themselves, but unless someone is causing harm to others, they shouldn't be attacked or demeaned if they do choose it.

[@groofromtheup5719]

fiancee knew it wasn't a joke. his family didn't believe. They believe now. Fiancee was a jerk for getting pissy about it on the way home.

[@notanarsonist7574]

Story 1: no one is realizing that if OP hadn't done what she did the family would continue serving food that OP couldn't eat and continue bullying OP for it.NTAH

[@lorifiedler13]

Not to mention, she probably would have shit herself.

[@lillyvonshtup7314]

I’m betting the next time fiancé comes over to eat they’ll go out of their way to make food for her .. live a little ? “ how you like me now” bu this was a “celebration “.. if she would have left they’d be offended for that too

[@Acidfunkish]

They'd be offended, and would have still found a way to ignore her dietary restrictions. I bet they wouldn't dare, now.

[@AlisonCasilli]

She had to "put her foot down" and make them understand. Talk wasn't doing the trick, I don't see where she had any other choice than to FULLY illustrate how much she was not exaggerating. It was rude for his family to all but poison her so, no pity for them here.

[@Acidfunkish]

@@AlisonCasilli I've had family sneak gluten into my meals just to see if it really made me sick. Even just BBQ sauce with a bit of barley malt is enough to mess me up for 3+ days. Like, pooping 20x per day.

[@SorenPenrose]

@@Acidfunkish that is terrifying. Ask anyone that knows me and they'll tell you that I am never serious about everything ever. Nothing I say should ever be believed. The exception that proves the rule is food safety. I never even joke about that bullshit. I can't imagine slipping something into someone's food for the purpose of invoking a reaction. That's fucking dangerous and extremely unethical. Tell your family that a chef who loves all things horror genre and hasn't felt fear in 6 years because of the constant exposure to it was absolutely horrified by their bullshit today.

[@Acidfunkish]

@@SorenPenrose They wanted to make sure it wasn't psychosomatic, apparently. Because I did a preliminary celiac test around 10 years ago (that has a 40% chance of giving a false negative, which the doctor told us) that came back negative. I don't know if I have celiac or not, so to be safe, I just say I have an intolerance. But there were some signs from my childhood (and my bro's present) that hint that I probably shouldn't have been eating it my whole life. I was a skinny kid, but I always had a really big, hard tummy, I was sick constantly, I'd get hives from things to which I wasn't allergic, etc. My brother is skinny, but has that same big belly, and a lot of digestion issues (but won't give up on gluten). In my early adulthood, I started cooking foods from various other cultures, and noticed I felt better on Asian diets. Then went fully keto for 3 years, and felt fantastic. When I switched back to a normal North American diet, I started literally shitting the bed. 😣 Like, it was such a shock to my system to go back to something that I hadn't eaten in years. I went on a proper elimination diet, and breads and cereals messed me up, again. So, I'm undiagnosed whatever, and had one test that said I wasn't celiac. So I can kind of sort of understand them thinking I might not have anything wrong with me. Maybe. But the few times that I've eaten something made by them, for which they had assured me they had used specific "safe" BBQ sauce, or specific "safe" bouillon for gravy, or whatever else, and some extra spices, but had actually used their own BBQ sauce or gravy mix, and I ended up stuck in the bathroom for a week, they've inadvertently proven that it actually WASN'T psychosomatic. 😒 Good to know, I guess. 👎🏻 It won't kill me, or anything, but it is always a MASSIVE inconvenience. My mom is mentally ill (BPD), so she does and says some really "shitty" (heh heh) things, sometimes. My step dad enabled her, to keep the peace. I really appreciate the concern. ❤️ You sound like a really good chap to be around! We could always do with more laughter in our lives! We need more people like you. ✌🏻

[@SorenPenrose]

$20 says "New Dad" isn't even allergic. Sounds like mom is trying to erase any memory of dad. OP made the right choice.

[@gaylenewood7707]

I bet you a dollar she bought the new hubby with that insurance money..

[@robertbishop5158]

He needs to get his emotions in check ✔️ because there is money involved From the dad's death he's going to be 18 a legal adult ready to go to college And start a new life he should have some Money from the work accident/death. This is concerning. Someone needs to look out for OP

[@pansprayers]

@@gaylenewood7707 I bet you my last 50$ that you're a mysogonistic weirdo who thinks that the mother wasn't preyed on by the new husband. Might be reading tea leaves a bit, but I'm educated enough in the subject to do it pretty damn well.

[@groofromtheup5719]

Story 1: NTa. They all assumed she was lying. She has now proven to them that it isn't a freaking joke.

[@prince_sylex]

ESH in my opinion. (except the husband) No doubt who the bigger one is, but hubby tried to leave twice from the moment he knew that she would have been faced with that meal. SHE declined. Granted, she wanted to power through, or at least that would I believe if I was the husband. Then SHE rather going the guest option, chose the toilet closest to living room just to prove a point. As the husband I would feel betrayed more than embarrassed. Instead of leaving and letting her husband handle it to show a united front, she rather went kamikaze on her stomach. It's a vindictiveness I can appreciate though, since now the family will know better. Op: 1/5 Buttholes InLaw: 3/5 Buttholes

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@prince_sylex husband was more of a jerk than she was for going after her on the car ride home. 2/5

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@groofromtheup5719 I mean, hear me out, I kind of get it tho. He's clearly not a confrontational person and OP has thrust him into the middle of a dispute with his parents. I can imagine feeling hurt and embarrassed as a reaction to that, and lashing out. I'd be frustrated, too, if I'd provided my partner an out and tried to stand up for them, and they embarrassed me. We only know the story from the car, but I have the feeling that after sleeping on it he'd come to realize that it's not about fiance, what OP did was likely the only way to prove the issue's seriousness to IL's, and apologize. That doesn't mean his car lash out was right, but understandable. I just don't get all the people saying "throw him out" when he made a simple human error.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@thedestroyasystem right. that's why I awarded him a lowly 2/5. It is a really stupid thing to be embarrassed about though, so maybe it should have been a higher score.

[@ezyo1000]

@@groofromtheup5719 Nah, the fiance is right. He DID stand up for her, on two occasions and rather than do the mature adult thing she was being petty. In adult situations, when you are dealing with people being rude, you excuse yourself from the situation, you don't stop down to their level and go tit for tat

[@schokigirl1989]

Story 1: Was it petty? Yes. But I think it was necessary. If they don't get why she can't eat that food, than she needs to show them why. They don't understand it otherwise it seams.

[@IlkaWaffy]

I also think the fiance should be more upset with his family for disrespecting OP like that. They knew about her needs and ignored them Someone had to put their foot down and make them understand

[@IlkaWaffy]

@@meiimacca4054 exactly! He put the burden of the decision on her instead of confronting his parents properly. As you said, the OP would have been made out to be the one in the wrong if she had decided to leave

[@darkmask5933]

Story 1: In-laws told OP to "live a little" and that's what she did. The food was delicious, but it gave her explosive and smelly diarrhea, but they told her to "celebrate the engagement". I would tell husband "I don't know why your family should be embarrassed, they made food they knew would be hard for me to handle and then said I should enjoy it anyway in spite of the ramifications. Well, I did, either they are fine with the fact I blew their bathroom up, or they did not respect my condition and didn't actually want me to 'live a little', which is it?"

[@gaylenewood7707]

Maybe next time she needs that toliet spray of poopurrie..

[@captainclown2718]

Story 1: OPs behaviour was pretty shitty... I have achieved comedy!

[@AlisonCasilli]

I giggled more imagining you celebrating the joke you made.

[@carolroberts4614]

Scatological comedy!

[@victorvaldez8869]

But to be serious the in-laws wouldn't have taken the dietary restrictions seriously, likely chalking it up to a "tantrum" over not getting food she "wanted" if OP & her Fiancé left without eating unless OP took the "Nuclear Option."

[@adriennet.3872]

Crap, i wanted to make this joke

[@dumbbuilds1751]

@@adriennet.3872 well somebody already shit it out.

[@Musiclover-ow6nb]

Story 1: malicious compliance. I can show you better than tell you. Bet the in laws won't do that again. 😄

[@FayBelleRose233]

Yes I knew I wasn't the only who thought that this belongs in malicious compliance.

[@MaRi-dz4fu]

Story 1: sometimes you do need to be a bit of an AH to get your point across. I think it’s the case, and the family now gets it. ESH

[@floridafrostbite8002]

Also, sometimes people need to actually see why you eat what you eat or why something should be done for safety reasons to actually get it. Thinking to all the stories I hear where someone was cutting corners and someone got hurt because of it. Hopefully the family will actually make food OP can actually eat. I will say that OP is a slight Ahole because I have lactose sensitivity (not too bad, but can’t have a lot dairy) and that sh*t stinks! (Pun intended) I just can’t imagine the smell.

[@nobodynowhere3322]

My mom didn't understand my food sensitivities until I finally ate something because she insisted and she saw what it did. After that she was better about just letting me cook for myself when I visited.

[@drewc.9562]

I agree he didn't truly stand up for her he gave an option that would make her look bad instead of just leaving

[@chrismccloskey2502]

Lol... Op: "live a little, am I right!? Wheewo! (Wave arms dramatically) I would give it a bit." And, then leave

[@rachel9586]

@@chrismccloskey2502 🤣 I read it in Jim Carey’s voice and image him being dramatic wave his arm. I can’t stop laughing 😂

[@KitsunePhotography]

Story 1: how does her fiancé think it’s reasonable in any capacity to be upset with her for using the bathroom 🙄 if she used the bathroom with door open that would be “disgusting” using the bathroom is not

[@draughtoflethe]

Thank you! While OP may think of what she did as petty revenge, and while it certainly had the potential to be instructive for the in-laws, ultimately all she did was go to the bathroom. She didn't smear poo on the walls, or drop her pants at the dinner table. She used the toilet for its intended purpose. I think OP needs to buy her fiance a copy of "Everybody Poops," if he's so bent out of shape about this.

[@missNekolover91]

1 story. OP: "I have a sensitive stomach" Family: "Live a little" OP eats food and get's a sensitive stomach and stinks up the place Family surprised pikachu face The family doesn't care that OP has a sensitive stomach, I bet it's that type of family, "I have depression", "I am trans" family: "we will just ignore that" the family made food for only their family, they don't care about OP

[@mercenarycorp8019]

She might want to go to the doctor in case it gets worse Edit: nta *chuckles*

[@immortalsofar5314]

Actions have consequences. Why should OP be the only one to suffer the consequences of their actions? You can't slip someone a laxative and then protest that they smell bad! NTA but if she were she'd be the most glorious, awesome a-hole of justice I've come across. Some people don't understand about allergies or dietary problems and just think people are "picky eaters". Better to get this across loud and clear from the start, beautifully illustrated and graphically (and nasally) demonstrated. Better to nip this crap in the bud than have the family constantly spread lies behind her back.

[@hannahseitz430]

Story 4: NTA and report the therapist. A receptionist in a therapists office should NOT be saying things to make patients feel bad, no matter how subtle or passive. Not okay. She can find a new job if she can’t stop negatively affecting therapy patients’ mental health. Sheesh

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Story 1: Yea... NTA. They forced her to eat food they knew she was sensitive to and then they're surprised that her "living a little" resulted in the nuclear bombing of their toilet because of said sensitivities? Lol. I have celiacs, and while I'm not going to put myself in a situation to induce pain and bathroom runs for some revenge, I applaud her for getting the point across that her diet isn't something she can stray from because they think she needs too, its for her health and for EVERYONE'S convenience.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

They didn't force her she went spiteful. Her Fiancée gave her an out and asked clear as day "Where is OPs food." Learning his parents pulled that stunt ask her "Do you want to leave?". OP chose to stay, chose a closer bathroom, And did it all knowing it would up set her new In-Laws. Yes Maybe they needed to live it first hand to understand its a medical reason she eats as she dose not a choice she can ignore. But OP is a grown ass woman and can use her words.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@ShatoraDragondore yes... and if she left, that would have been seen as just as "petty". She leaves and then it's her fault be left and her "taking" him away from his family because of food. She's grown, but they treated her like a child. And so they quickly learned why she eats the way she eats. Next time, they can either respect her as a "grown ass woman" or they get GTFOH with their invitations. Either way, she got her point across since words weren't enough. This wasn't some new fad diet she was on, they knew her dietary needs and purposely stomped all over them.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

@@TheZombifiedFairy We don't know how that would have gone if they left, because OP didn't take the hand her partner held out for her. Showing clearly he was ready to back her on her diet and medical needs in front of his family. She did this in front of her partner's Parents, Sibling, and Grand Parent.

[@asmith8692]

I have to be very cautious about what foods I share with my sister. Gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, sulfur allergy, soy sensitivity, shrimp allergy. She has to make sure that whatever she serves me doesn't contain dates due to my mild date allergy.

[@darkshadow5581]

I think neither fiancee or OP are AH's. Clearly in laws are AHs but between OP and fiancee, its just 2 different ways of handling problems. 1 might be more effective, but makes OP (and by extension fiancee) look as bad as in-laws see them as.2nd is advice that "no." Is a complete sentence. I know which I'd pick, but I know plenty of non-AH who wouldn't.

[@s.g.arimos497]

Just tested positive for the big C and I really needed this video to feel okay. Thanks a bunch mark for your amazing content

[@bethotoole6569]

Hope you do well.. hang in there. Not everyone gets hit hard, I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it hits you very lightly! 👍😎

[@Acidfunkish]

Sorry, bud. Cancer is TA, 100%.

[@TheFortniteStorm]

What is the big C? Whatever it is I hope your okay!

[@Lycagon231]

@@TheFortniteStorm cancer

[@maddy8328]

Oh no! I hope your ok, that's horrible

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "You should have just left, but nooo you had to be passive aggressive 😒" leaving would have been passive aggressive as well. Leaving would also just be letting the in laws get away with it and pull the stunt again, causing Op to just never want to show up which would then give in laws the opportunity to paint op as the bad guy who "is unappreciative of all this work they constantly put in to make her feel welcome **sob sob** *pout pout*" because they would rather play the victim than acknowledge that they were massive assholes who were inconsiderate as hell to Op and her dietary needs because they thought it was unnecessary for her to be so restrictive of what she eats. They needed the damn wake up call that they can't just force people to do what they want and get away with it.

[@zerobolt9506]

Story 1: if I was OP's fiance I would have been egging her on to do what she did, NTA OP.

[@perfectlyqueer1658]

NTA. I have IBS and one of my biggest fears is people not taking my needs seriously and potentially even lying about what’s in the food. I’ve already had to deal with stuff like that, and I’ve only had IBS for like two years and most of that being in a panorama. Husband’s family deserved to get a graphic depiction of what would happen if she ate it. And husband is also TA for being more ashamed of his wife’s medical condition and of her caving to pressure from his family to HURT HERSELF than of his family’s disrespectful bullying behavior. OP needs to protect herself but she isn’t TA here. I genuinely thought she was going to go on a long graphic rant cause that’s what I would have done. 😂😂😂 Right in front of their precious food they can learn all about my bodily functions. 😘

[@Acidfunkish]

Story #2: As someone who grew up with a BPD aunt (SEVERE) and mom (mild), NTA NTA NTA. Young kids learn to adjust to those kinds of adults, if you allow them in contact. Those kinds of kids will grow into adults who seek out those kinds of people, and will have failed relationships for DECADES. Unless they're able, at some point, to seek therapy to figure out WHY they're so goddamned broken. Please, please go NC. You're normalising your mother's behaviour JUST BY HER BEING THERE. Stop it! Story #3: NTA. She chose her new boytoy over you. 😒 He's a whole adult. He could just take allergy meds. Also, YOU'RE 17 - you're not going to start calling your mom's new guy your "dad," at this point. 🤦‍♀️ Good lord. She needs to get a grip. As does he. Maybe this'll knock some sense into her. And if not, you're happily with your dog and grandpa, so who cares. 👍🏻

[@Arylwren1]

Story 1: sounds like OP needed to send a very clear message to her future in-laws in a method that would be difficult to forget. The fact that the family knows about her dietary needs and ignored them is horrible and those calling OP TA need to step off. Sounds like OP had enough and had to make a very pungent point

[@hithere911]

The phrase "very pungent point" made me laugh.

[@terminalheadcase]

Story 1: OP and finance have been together at least 4 f-ing years, and they (and he to an extent) continued to make food she could not eat, at all. As someone with special dietary restrictions, I'd be done with that family after 5 months. She continued to say, and reiterate her dietary restrictions and they were ignored by someone said he loved her (and then allowed his family to ignore said restrictions continually). A point needed to be made and since words weren't doing, action was called for. And his calling her gross and disgusting, I'd change the locks.

[@sylvestercat1898]

Story 4: NTA. I couldn’t even imagine letting my friends young siblings use my phone without me holding it or showing them a photo or something.

[@abigailpulliam6996]

For story 1, NTA. Stupid games, stupid prizes. If they'd just left, the in laws would have bashed them anyway, and would have learned nothing. I bet they think twice next time

[@flamelily2086]

Story 1 NTA OP had explained her problem and dietary needs to her boyfriend's family and they ignored her. Yes her bf offered to leave but that wouldn't have proved anything to his family. Perhaps now they will respect OP's dietary requirements. My sister had to do something similar to prove to her mil that she has an allergy to eggs. At a dinner party her mil served a meal that had egg mixed in it so my sister couldn't see it. My sister knew after two mouthfuls that the meal contained egg because she says her mouth starts to itch. However she ignored it and continued to eat the meal. Half way through the meal my sister had to rush to the bathroom, she left the door open so that everyone at the table could hear her vomiting. After she got back to the table my sister told her mil that she had put egg in the meal on purpose to prove she didn't have an allergy. After that her mil made a point of making egg free meals for my sister. OP who wouldn't let a screaming kid to use her iPad is NTA. Parents today are to lazy to parent their children. The just sit them in front of television or give them an iPad and then ignore. Parenting children correctly is hard work and means that you actually have to get off your butt and interact with your children.

[@gaylenewood7707]

Poopurri commercial reminds me of that blonde chick asking about the bathroom and it's right behind them at the dining area and she went in there the green haze and diaper gravy it was a funny commercial.🤣🤣.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

Story 4: NTA, it was not Op’s responsibility to take care of a stranger’s kids. The mother should’ve had a charger on hand with a brick/portable battery.

[@AlisonCasilli]

You know, if the kid were just bored and not ranting and screaming I would have said that she was the ah....but that is not the case. For mom (and possibly the receptionist) to put that on OP would have set me off, no way I wouldn't have come back right at them in that situation.

[@gaylenewood7707]

OP shouldve asked why she flunked biology cause otherwise she wouldnt have them kids..

[@gaylenewood7707]

@@AlisonCasilli Well op could've said well you shouldve watched them I'm sure the kids will have fun playing with your toys..

[@locusxe1411]

Story 4 NTA: if I were that kid in the last story my mom would’ve asked me do I want to get spanked in front of everyone. I would have stopped then

[@HackiePuffs]

Story 2: hello again victim shamers of Reddit!! Seriously though I’m sick of Reddit basically being like “YTA how can you not get yourself out of these situations it’s not like it’s easier said than done 🤪”

[@bgcorporation]

I don't know man, the mom doesn't live in her house. She has all the power. If she was living at home with her parents then I can see "It's easier said than done," but this is different from that kind of situation.

[@nobinary2296]

@@bgcorporation said the person not suffering from physical, emotional, and mental abuse. What "power" are you talking about? The OP is in a controlling environment where her abuser is a constant presence. Me, an actual victim of abuse, can tell you it's not the simple "open and shut" case. Unlike OP, I have an actual safety net, and people around to support me. OP doesn't. Her husband, the one NOT suffering from abuse, is spineless and refuses to be her rock. Like he SHOULD. Because OP can't make a healthy decision. They haven't even been able to heal and get the help they obviously need. People like to throw around phrases and make assumptions without being in the situation. Are the kids suffering? YES. 100%. But do you know the terror, of family members who should've had your back, gaslighting you and victim shaming you? Have you been forced into the same room as your abuser so we could all "forgive and forget" because it's not the "Christian" thing to do and forgive them because "we're FaMiLy". No? I have. I am STILL in therapy at 23. OP needs to get herself and her children outta there. Stay with a friend. Get into some therapy and have a sit down with her husband. Because it's not okay. They also, as a unit, need to sit down with the kids and explain that the grandma is not a good person. File a restraining order, get some form of security, because the Grandma is completely dangerous.

[@nobinary2296]

Thanks. As a victim of abuse myself. I have had people throw this in my face so many times. But how was a child supposed to stand up to a fully grown man? Yeah. Victim blaming is something we all sadly have to endure. I have had a pretty shitty life. Still in therapy at 23. Feel bad for the OP and her kids. They honestly, if financially capable, need to move without disclosing their location. Even if it's into a shelter. Anything is better than your abuser knowing your location. OP should also go NC with the people who kept pushing her to interact with her abusive mother. She also needs to admonish her husband, get therapy+couple's therapy+child therapy. So everyone can heal and also explain to the kids the exact person their Grandma is. With a therapist present. So that way it can be communicated in a healthy way.

[@videofan1010]

False - protect your children from abuse...It's tough love but but she should have cut her mother out years ago. She's TA.

[@sagesaria]

Thank you! God, I can't stand it when Reddit does this shit.

[@jjgonzalez7703]

Story #1, I bet they'll never dare you to "live a little" ever again🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jacquiethebibliophil]

My mother had Crohns Disease and although it was years ago, people didn't know about it or respect it. You cannot be sure if OP would have stood up for her or what they'd have said about her after. They have learned a lesson they will never forget, so it was a good time to do what she did.

[@jinxgiz3104]

To the people saying that leaving would've helped set a boundary, no, the inlaws would've then just complained how OP is childish and left because they didn't have any food that she liked. Eating that food and then making a mess on the other hand is a much more efficient way to make them realise that OP literally can't eat certain foods. NTA.

[@debl3063]

I can see why fiance would be upset in the first story, but his family needed to learn that when someone says their body can't tolerate certain foods that means they don't eat it for any reason. What if the couple has kids one day with the same food issues and and the family feeds them things that will make them sick? Sorry they had to learn the hard way, but after 4 years of them knowing her, there really is no excuse not to have something she could eat.

[@mbyerly9680]

You can say for the thousandth time that you can't eat the food because of digestion issues, and they never listen, or you give them the reality of what you are dealing with, stinky bathoom and sounds included. I don't know if that family has learned its lesson, but, if they haven't, it's time to go NC for meals. The fiance needs to up his game protecting OP, or he should be the next to be eliminated.

[@leegraves8878]

Story 3 she doesn't want too lose the survivor Social Security is the only reason she doesn't want him to move.

[@carolcarol9982]

Hmmm...the people who are calling that woman who's mother beat her up at Christmas are abusing and blaming a victim of ongoing abuse. Kind of a moot point there, her family is already so good at abusing her that I doubt she'd even notice the new ones.

[@jazzywarrrior1414]

Having IBS, I deal with the food restrictions not being taken seriously too. At work, I've stopped trusting anyone. One coworker did something that made me have to run to the bathroom and she finally believed me. People suck.

[@pansprayers]

Story Two: NTA for not letting her be alone with her, and yes, you're being gaslit, abused, and you're allowing this creature to continue to target you. Also, why are you giving in to this? My biological mother *this person*. It's HARD, but my GOD my life is so much better after I was legally adopted as an adult, and shut down EVERYTHING. Where is the husband in all this? Without the support of mine, I wouldn't have been able to make a clean break. He holds me up (literally and figuratively) when the FM's attempt to stir up the shit again. The whole family needs therapy, and NC.

[@blandoatmeal1273]

Story 2 . Like hello ever heard of victim blaming. Change the comments to "why did she wear a short skirt" and "why did she walk home by herself" with "she must have been asking for it". Just because someone doesn't have a backbone doesn't mean they're an AH. Just because someone is being abused doesn't mean they're the AH.

[@Tishanfas]

Thank you!

[@koolkittykat04]

But she got out of her house and literally got a restraining order against her mother. She was out of the abuse. Then lets her mom back in? I know it’s tough, lots of people don’t like to hear you cut off contact with a close relative, especially your parents. I really hope those comments on the post were a wake-up call.

[@Yllania]

​@@koolkittykat04 With the rest of the family pressuring her? Do you know how abusive family systems work? I cut off my abusive guardian years ago, and to THIS DAY I have doubts about if I did the right thing, if Im over exaggerating, if it was somehow all my fault and I need to give her another chance. I still love her. Abusers leave life long scars that make you question reality. make you believe that youre in the wrong and they arent bad. Especially if they raised you from a child. Its not that fucking simple. She needs therapy, not to be called an idiot. Shes already had a wake up call. She needs help. This isnt a thing she can just deal with by herself and get better, and people dont need to attack her over it.

[@mikasmith817]

I have a feeling that the fiance in story 1 would have gotten all pissy on the car ride home if she had taken him up on his offer to leave. Seems like a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

[@rai1578]

Hey I just wanted to say I really appreciated your take on that first story. I have a condition called Gastroparesis, and it's pretty similar in that there are so many foods I can't digest. Only for me, it's having to worry about whether I'm going to vomit, rather than worrying so much about the other end. It's caused me a lot of pain, but a lot of people dismiss it and don't understand the mental affect that having to worry about everything you eat and whether it's going to make you sick has on you. I rarely hear such empathy towards people with these conditions, and it means a lot. It sounds like you're a great friend, and a truly empathetic person.

[@Luhrayuh]

Story 1, the family obviously knew already about her dietary restrictions and chose not to take it seriously. If they had just left without eating I don’t think her point would have been made. They clearly didn’t believe her stomach issues were serious, and now they KNOW what it does to her. If they had just left the family probably would have continued thinking she was just being overly sensitive.

[@SilveryBlue1010]

1. "WhY dOn'T yOu JuSt LeAvE?" That proves nothing. Sometimes people like them need proves or they will forever dismissed your problems..

[@spiderwolf746]

Story 4: Don't reword bad behavior, if you do it just gives that person an incentive to do it more often because they know that they will get a reward for the bad behavior instead of a deserved punishment for said bad behavior. Also the only child I've every let a young child touch my expensive device, was my cousin when I babysat her, if a random stranger walked up to me because I had said expensive device because their kid through a tantrum I would do the same as OP (a lot less nicely though).

[@Iam7-1963]

Story 1 - Fiancee offered to leave AFTER they ate...she clearly stated she knew she would not be able to make it home. She should do this EVERY SINGLE TIME, until his family understands it's a medical requirement, not a "chouce".

[@WolframKKM]

Story 1: I'm really confused by the fiancé's reaction. What did he think was going to happen after dinner? He knew that meal was going to wreck OP and it was countdown. If he was going to be embarrassed by the bathroom situation, why did he stick around after dinner? Good on OP! The people commenting that the in-laws would have gotten the message if OP and fiancé simply left must be new here. We've seen time and time again that the kind of person who goes out of their way to belittle someone else's health issues and dietary restrictions by springing a meal they can't eat without warning is not the kind of person who hears 'no'. Very likely she would have been labeled an ungrateful brat who's ruining their relationship with their son - as if their own actions should have no consequences. Now they're unequivocally the AHs if they complain because OP did *exactly what they asked of her* and they suffered the consequences for it.

[@billbowers9048]

Story 3: It looks like mom is totally putting fiancé ahead of son. Dax is a friend that op has a strong attachment to. Loosing Dax is like loosing his father all over again. If his mom can’t understand that then he definitely needs to stay with g pa.

[@chiyangamer2063]

Story 1: I nearly cried when Mark talked about his friend who has Crohn's disease... I have it as well, since I was 6 years old, and I've struggled all my life! Still am. I haven't been able to work due to the mix of Crohn's and several mental illnesses. The shaming I've had to listen to for not eating specific things or not going to places due to the anxiety of having Crohn's (but also just general anxiety) has given me severe self image issues. The parents in that story got a deserved reality check and that fiance needs to open his damn eyes!

[@Pumpkin_Kisses]

Story 4: I’ve had my iPad damaged by a kid I let play with it while I was at a pre-COVID appointment. Never again. NTA. Fuck that. In case you’re wondering; No, the mom didn’t pay for the damage. Thankfully I had warranty so it only cost $150 to get a new one.

[@salattu]

Story 1 omg! She was living a little. That's her life! She can't live without consequences. Like she's the one suffering after enjoying tasty meal.... The groom is asshole.

[@salattu]

Just to add: hell if I had such restrictions I'd indulge like that once in four years too. The forbidden fruit.

[@Uneclipsed]

To everyone saying that she should have left when the fiancee offered her an out: It was their engagement party and they all thought she was lying about her dietary restrictions. Can you imagine the shitstorm (no pun intended) that would have occurred if they had just up and left? This was a no win situation. And while yes it was petty, it was the right call. The fiancee should have been backing her. "How are you doing in there? Can I get you anything? Some pepto? Yes, mom, it was the jambalaya. Well, what else was she supposed to eat? We couldn't just leave."

[@LadyLeomon]

1) NTA, they purposely made food that made you unwell to prove a point and you made an even better one! 2) NTA for putting your foot down here ... but you are TA *for letting a women who beat you **_in front of your daughter_** into your house again!* 3) NTA, stay with your doggo and wait patiently for the day your mother realises what she’s done (then slam the door in her face when she comes begging for forgiveness) 4) NTA, while I can sympathise with a frazzled mother she should’ve planned ahead, it’s not up to you to placate her child by letting them play with _your very expensive tablet!_ Thanks for the new vid WaffleBoss 💙🐱💙

[@MaggieTheCat01]

Ha ha I would’ve pretended to be caught out and shit my pants right there in the living room. 🤭😁

[@_mike_the_spike]

I have really bad digestive issues too. Was told it was IBS as a child, but as I am getting older am starting to think I was misdiagnosed and have a form of IBD because of specific symptoms I experience that aren’t associated with IBS. Trying to get a doctor to check me out and see, but alas, I am poor. Honestly, as gross as it is, if she’s going to be marrying their son, and they aren’t taking her seriously, they need to learn somehow.

[@JaneSmith-d1h]

Sometimes proving a point is necessary. You can't let people bully and belittle you forever.

[@ceciasa3376]

Story 3: NTA in any way shape or form. Op didn't chose the dog over his Mom, his mom chose her Fiance over her son. IMO she's a shitty parent, not the other way around. I hope OP cuts her off, because the way she approached this was super toxic.

[@t.matthies3049]

Absolutely! 2 years after a spouse dies is not a lot of time. She and the fiance have only been together a year, and that's really quick to be moving that quickly when you have children involved (even if they're legally close to adulthood). Reasonable people would have waited until OP was at least 18, finished high school, and able to live on their own so the fiance could move in without OP being mandated to give up Dax (if it were my kid, I'd help with rent if I could to make up for essentially being forced out of the house). But there's no way I'd even consider doing that before they were 18 and finished high school.

[@philwill0123]

@@t.matthies3049 reasonable people? If it was weeks, definitely. But dating after a year is reasonable. Making someone wait for 3 years to start dating is unreasonable. We all process grief differently. This seems that OP need grief counselling, because you cannot put all hopes, dreams and moving on the dog. The dog is a metaphor for OPs issues. Mom has moved on (as is her right), OP needs to.

[@t.matthies3049]

@@philwill0123 the mom is allowed to date, but as soon as you have a child, at least until they turn 18, life is never, ever only about you. If OP's Mom has moved on, good for her, but losing a parent is a very traumatic event, and many people grieve for years (heck, many never fully stop). Two years is not a lot of time for a child to process that kind of grief (and despite being nearly a legal adult, OP is still a child). It is the mother's responsibility to support their child, and give them what they need to work through it. Again, she's allowed to date, but allowing someone else to move into the house after just a year of dating them, when the child is not ready for that, is not ok. Especially when taking away (what basically amounts to) their emotional support animal. As a parent, until your child is an adult, their needs take priority. End of story.

[@pshaw8406]

After 4 years and they still treat OP like that? Not being able to control your gut is not childish! OP was bullied.

[@locusxe1411]

I agree with you Mark for story 1. NTA. I kind of understand the ESH comments but come on. I Ben it the fiancé was ok with leaving before eating, this situation would never have happened if they respected his dietary restrictions

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - one comment does raise an interesting question; if OP's father died at work, where is that settlement money? who is getting OP's SSI check (if in US, surviving kids get a supplemental security check to pay for their support until they are 18, or 21 if going to college)? and depending on the circumstances, there was probably a big insurance payout on the death - who got that? how much? is that the reason good old mum found someone to marry? OP needs to make sure other family are helping him sort these things out and that there will be funds left for him.

[@persephoneszeliga]

Omg I’m cracking up🤣🤣🤣 When Mark said in jest “Let my child use your mobile phone!”

[@bgcorporation]

Story 1: Lmao wait the fiance was upset? Shiiiiiieeeeet I would have been laughing my ass off. I would have been PROUD of her accomplishment.

[@kerridwynntheacegoblin6465]

I've never been in a position where some random parent has asked me for anything I had, device or otherwise (I normally bring things that only one person can use when in waiting room situations; eg crochet project or book), but if I had some loose paper and an extra pencil or something that I didn't care about, I'd probably have given it to a fussy kid if asked. My reaction would have matched OP's when I was in my 20s, but I've grown somewhat tolerant of children in my old age and I remember being a kid in a waiting room and being bored out of my skull.

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

For story 1, I think it’s really hard to judge. Because OP said, A)she knows what happens when she eats the food B)OP’s fiancé stood up for her and wanted to leave and C) had another bathroom option to use but chose to use one that everyone would be aware of what was happening. With that said, it’s really shitty of her future in laws to just dismiss her (the “live a little” comments) and try to control her (eat what we make or leave). She could have taken the high road & left like fiancé suggested, but then she’s asking “am I the asshole for leaving engagement dinner because I couldn’t eat the food?” I just know her in laws would have harassed her for leaving. So, was OP the asshole? Yeah, but it felt justified to me.

[@pansprayers]

No, it's not hard to judge at all. They invited them over under the guise of it being a party for OP and fiance and promptly made food she couldn't eat, and then treated her like a child. Telling her to 'live a little' is the most insulting thing you can do a person with health issues. They more or less implied she was just being difficult. Guess what, though? Now they're going to actually have food she can eat without this happening, and all she had to do was say, 'sorry, sensitive stomach'.

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

@@pansprayers ooooorrrr... she could have just left like her fiancé wanted to and cut them out of her life. Yeah, the in laws were assholes, but OP was being passive aggressive which is not an awesome thing. While op was a justified asshole, there’s still a little bit of an asshole there.

[@harrypotter2700]

@@tabathaalshalhoub1653 It’s also incredibly hard to cut off a family member for being toxic and not blatantly abusive, especially when that family member is connected to someone you’re maintaining contact with. I completely agree that she was justified in what she’d done, but people are too quick to drop the “well just cut off all contact”. What OP did was a justified response to a set up and sets the precedent that she will not tolerate it in the future. Petty? Absolutely. Problems short term? Definitely, but reduces the chance that this will ever happen again compared to if she were to just walk out.

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

@@harrypotter2700 having had to cut off some of my family members, I wouldn’t say for others to do it lightly. But if you have medical issues and people ignore them, why would you put yourself into that situation? Also, some people (men) tend to not understand how women work & believe untrue things (ie that women can just hold in their periods) so it wouldn’t be surprising if this incident didn’t actually stop them. They could believe that OP controlled herself & shat on demand. So, was it really worth it?

[@harrypotter2700]

@@tabathaalshalhoub1653 I have also had to cut off close family members. I’m not saying that it shouldn’t be done or anything as there absolutely comes a point where maintaining contact becomes dangerous, but I more or less think that this should be given some time. I believe OP did the right thing because she established that she was serious about her medical issues and how they alter her diet/day to day life, so there’s a chance that maybe they’ll take her more seriously. I think the best thing would be for her to see how things go from there and then determine whether or not to cut contact rather than doing it now. I do agree that it should be done if this sort of thing persists though,

[@belindadoler9148]

I just say GO GIRL!!!! She needed to make a point. She is going to be around these people the rest of her life.

[@oakenshadow6763]

I love how so many people missed the fact that the husband say there, watching OP eat food he knew would do that to her, and was surpised when she used the bathroom like that. What did he think she was going to do? The in laws needed to be taught a lession. Yes, it was petty. But the in laws LITERALLY set themselves up for it.

[@15oClock]

1. If they could intentional ignore OP's dietary needs once, they could again. Why be respectful after that? 2. How has OP not left the country to escape this psycho!? Barring that, buy a gun and keep the door shut! 3. Anthony isn't a replacement for Dax or OP's dad. At 17yo, he's never gonna have any replacement family. 4. The therapist's office shouldn't be such a hostile environment! I wish OP luck in finding a better doctor.

[@thislookslikepatrick5070]

S1, uh maybe because what she actually did was disgusting rude and unnecessary? Oh and petty.

[@viennperidot1119]

Story One: NTA. They've been together for at least four years and they still refuse to take her health conditions into account when cooking specifically to celebrate her joining their family one day? They're the assholes. So's the fiance too, since he should have been on her side in this.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 2, Man I never seen Reddit victim blame so hard, being the armchair therapist they are, you'd think they would understand it's not that easy for a victim of abuse. Like I don't want to give a judgement, this woman and her family are being abused and they need aid.

[@indyfmw]

tbh with story 2: i think Op is a victim of abuse and acting like it. The reddit community is quick to call mom a ah. But if this was a husband and wife (grandamother was the husband and mom was the wife) people wouldn't be calling her the ah and they would be trying to help her. But they arent recognizing that she's probably afriad and was abused thoughout her childhood. And that her doing what she's doing now is probably the first real time she stood up for herself (beside the police report) she's doing the best she can mentally without a proper support around her. NTA story 3: NTA I probably would have let the kid watch but then it would have been a whole mess ugh... it hurts my head thinking about what would’ve happened

[@Yllania]

Yea everyone calling her an asshole was making me uncomfortable. She most likely grew up abused, the mothers behavior didnt start recently, so its not that easy to just tell everyone to fuck off, shes been conditioned her whole life. Its pretty apparent because shes questioning herself in a situation that she clearly isnt in the wrong in. Does she need to cut off the mom for the sake of her kids? Yes. But shes not an asshole for being a victim of abuse. She needs support, not people calling her names for reacting like abuse victims do and saying she just should have said no. Thats not how abuse works. She needs therapy.

[@jewel4195]

The thing is, from my experience, that children are very very loyal towards parents. And if you are finally broke free of your loyality... Then you get all those people telling you, you should be loyal... Even my own psychologists where saying that since my father knew when to say or do something.. My father has been mentally/emotionally abusive and it took me years to recognize it. At the same time he has done a few good things as well... Which makes it really hard to decide if you really push that person away or keep low contact. As well as the fact that some of Them really know how to make you the Bad Guy. Standing alone... So you are probably right.. OP needs someone to help her in this situation.. My boyfriend and I have had a conversation about this and basically it is clear that I want to keep children away from my father if I ever have them. I have learned to read my father so I know when he is the most shitty. My mom (divorced with my dad) told me he is amazing with kids and would be a great grandfather and I should not keep him from seeing my children if I ever have them. I told her that I was nine when he started emotionally abusing me.. so yeah... Kind of was a kid. But like I said I even though knowing how he is I have trouble keeping him away.. he still is my father weither I like it or not. There always will be 2 sides fighting within yourself. Cause like I said je had done a few great things for me... At the same time he has also done a few really bad things. And then you have to add up the environment... Yeah all in all having a bad parent is really hard to seperate from.

[@harrypotter2700]

I think the sucky thing about the way this subreddit is formatted is that the way you point out someone being in the wrong is to call them an a-hole, but it’s obviously super harsh in these situations. The OP is a victim herself and that sort of thing is so hard to break, but as an authority figure and role model for her children she absolutely needs to step in and make a difficult choice. Her and her husband not doing that puts her in the wrong, but by no means does it make her an a-hole and I feel like some of the comments calling her TA are essentially saying that but the judgement of a-hole just sounds so insensitive. I’ve been in similar shoes as those kids and having a parent who was too scared to do anything prolonged our chances at happiness, so while I deeply understand why OP is having such a hard time, she seriously needs to act for the sake of her children and herself. Honestly I just hope she can get out of that situation and into a healthier environment, that poor woman has been through more than enough.

[@jewel4195]

@@harrypotter2700 that is something I can stand 100% behind. I just hope she will have someone that can show her the importance of setting those bounderies and give her the strenght to deal with it. Because she is going to need it. I for one have the luck that my boyfriend stands behind me 100% and we both are very protective of children. Only the Idea that my parent might harm another child... No just no... That being said I understand the difficulty, I have my boyfriend that is 100% the best boyfriend I can have :')

[@harrypotter2700]

@@jewel4195 I myself am in a relationship where we can’t have kids, but I have cut contact with one of my parents for behaviour similar to OP’s mother. Even though I won’t be having kids, the mere idea of subjecting someone else to her behaviour makes my heart shatter, but I also understand firsthand how difficult it is to break contact with a parental figure. Overall it’s just one of those situations where the best solution is the hardest and I can only hope that OP is able to get through it. And congrats on having such a happy relationship! It’s always so wonderful to have that support and it’s so refreshing to hear when other people are happy. I wish you the best!

[@seshthecat]

I think people are missing the fact that if OP had walked out the parents will just keep making food OP can't eat.

[@19WolfGirl74]

Story 1 - last comment: I don’t think the boyfriend was upset at her for taking a shit, I’m pretty sure he was upset at her because she knew what was about to happen and how bad it would be and was upset that she chose the half bath in the next room rather than the farther away guest bathroom to be petty. Also I 100% agree with OP - they are not the asshole. The boyfriends family and he are. If OP didn’t stand their ground with the family now before the marriage then it would have kept happening and the marriage would never last. The family told her to “live a little” well now they can live with the consequences for a little while in their stinky bathroom.

[@warpuppy17]

No matter the decision of story 1, OP would've been seen as the asshole in Fiancés family's eyes.

[@Coira2]

Story 1: NTA. People like that won't stop until they see first hand that you're not making up your sensitive stomach issues and would continue to disrespect you. I'm sorry your fiance was embarrassed, and it was petty, but I dont think you were wrong.

[@justyouraveragejay]

Story 1: NTA even if OP was being petty. First off, this was their engagement dinner and they made food OP cannot eat? They started the pettiness, and my policy is that pettiness for pettiness is perfectly acceptable. Secondly, this is OP's future family. It'd be one thing is OP was a girlfriend, but she's the future daughter/sister/granddaughter-in-law. And the fiance is embarrassed by... poop sounds? Why? It doesn't sound like OP was hamming it up, so he's embarrassed by the fact that OP poops and sometimes sounds like that?

[@annanoble4529]

I have Crohn’s and am currently pregnant. Between the Crohn’s, food adversions and the heartburn what I can eat is very minimal. I know what a pain it is to try to figure out what to eat

[@annanas9122]

4:26 if I were in the same situation, I would do the same but 1000% on purpose. Add a little drama be as stinky and loud and dramatic and utterly unashamedly petty as I wish and would double down and be argumentative about it after because those people deserve it and if the can't be nice then I should make them suffer tenfold and I wouldn't apologize, compensate or anything of sorts.

[@DuckTapeWarrior1]

Perfect timing, I’m out walking my dog!

[@JennyT101]

I feel so bad for OP in story 1. I have IBS and the struggle is real. People roll their eyes and don't believe the stomach issues that come with eating certain foods. One of the foods I can't eat is beans. They are like poison to me. People are like "who can't get beans?!!" They think I am being ridiculous. I am not. NTA. Maybe they will believe her stomach issues now! If she had just left his family would have ignored her dietary issues over and over again.

[@lizfritz6546]

My god I understand story 1 so well. I have so many sensitivities. I’m not skinny due to some other issues but I have celiac, I have lactose sensitivity, I can’t eat peppers, I have a red meat sensitivity (I can eat it, not suggested), and more. Since I live alone sometimes I let myself eat somethings that aren’t great for me but won’t destroy me (like celiac) but in public I eat salads with very specific dressings.

[@destinysphinx27]

Story 1: yes the fiancé offered to take her home BUT he didn't call his family out for down-playing OP's condition and if you think about it what would have happened if OP and her fiancé did leave? do you really think his family wouldn't see that as an insult? Yes OP's actions were childish but having a sh*tty attitude towards someone will result in a sh*tty outcome right back at you.

[@desireeloveros1055]

1 Okay so instead of making a bigger scene by leaving. She conceded, ate good food, and took a shit. In laws deal with the consequences of their inhospitality. It’s malicious compliance at worst but how is she wrong?

[@moseleymontana8069]

Had a similar issue with my partner's parents. At the time I thought I was lactose intolerant (turns out I'm allergic!), and I can't handle anything with even a hint of spice. Even peppers are too much after I've showered and had a nap. All the food they made had milk and peppers in. I couldn't leave because I had nowhere to go. I ended up barely eating. My stomach also can't handle leafy greens, they give me horrible acid reflux. I used up several packets of antacids and even spent a whole day throwing up. They didn't change a thing, just kept pushing me to eat more.

[@mad69madison]

1st story lol She did live a little lol she enjoyed the food and maliciously complied.

[@squeakybb]

Today has sucked so much so I'm happy to detox with Marks cheeky voice and force some good vibes. I hope everyone's day is awesome

[@carg0_b00m]

story 4 is basically me, idc about kids and dont want them

[@fictionalizedreality2025]

The one time I let someone borrow something from me it broke 10 minutes later. That's why I have trust issues with ppl borrow stuff.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 3: OP didn't choose his dog over his mom, she's the one who chose her fiancé over her own son. 200% NTA, she's an awful person. Dogs all the way too xD Story 4: lol fat chance I'd ever lend my iPad to anyone, let alone a kid, and a spoiled bratty one at that. Why do parents seem to think that everybody is required to be nice, kind and helpful to their spawn? I don't care, I won't ever care. Leave people alone ffs

[@StephanieMorelli]

S1, ESH, I feel it was their own fault, and I feel they needed to prove to Fiance's family exactly what happens if she eats out of her restrictions.

[@callmecharlie4250]

How would she suck if that was something she needed to do to get them to believe her and stop trying to poison her out of spite for her dietary restrictions.

[@StephanieMorelli]

Because she knew what would happen, and how it presented when they ate out of her restrictions.

[@callmecharlie4250]

@@StephanieMorelli but she had no other choice in convincing them and getting them to stop. All she did was have bodily functions.

[@swanniejones3141]

1st story! I love this girl! That'll teach them! LMAO!

[@maxrobertson2834]

Story 2: it’s incredible hard to live with people with mental disabilitys, and they should still be treated with respect and like a human. But you need to protect your self, and people that could be negatively affected by the individual. It’s so scary.

[@dawnatmidnight604]

Story 2: I agree with a comment further down which states Reddit's thing of saying YTA to victims. 'YTA' feels like a harsh thing you say when somebody genuinely is in the wrong, not to a victim that yes, has made bad decisions, but shouldn't be attacked like that. Tell them they have made a bad decision which they need to fix asap. Like cutting out toxic family members. Give them the support in a honest manner, NOT an aggressive "YTA, you should've thought of your kids first" manner, because that'll only trigger guilt and make shit worse. Support the victims, give them the strength they don't have. Family pressure is harder to deal with that some might believe. Annoys me when it feels as if so many make it out to be easier than it truly is. OP is NTA, mother should be cut out, and Reddit is the AH for blaming the victim.

[@mintcoral]

So for the first story I'm a big fan of petty revenge so I absolutely loved it. I thought it was the right amount of pettiness for the situation. But like most people and Petty revenge they are the butt whole. because they could have gone and used the guest bathroom and been polite to everybody sitting in the living room but they didn't because they were being petty. but it definitely isn't everybody sucks here kind of day. And I personally approved of it and loved it

[@vampire9545]

Story 1: NTA - pretty sure, unless she went to the guess bathroom any other outcome would be considered rude. Also using the main bathroom is less passive/aggressive then aggressive as she just followed thru with diet issues.

[@gabrielaranna5809]

Story 1: Was it a kind of a-holish move? Yes. But in her place, I would do the same? Also yes.

[@immortalsofar5314]

Step parenthood is like respect - it can only be given, not demanded and it has to be earned. I've had various flavors of step-kids over the years, the official ones being over 18 and the longest being from 7-years-old onwards. All of them I treated as family, I was there for support whenever needed and didn't resent it if that wasn't reciprocated. The older ones used to tease me by calling me "dad". The youngest, when he went to high school, the teachers just assumed I was his dad, especially since he'd picked up some of my British accent and mannerisms, so I just checked if that was okay with him.

[@jamiewulfyr4607]

If someone uses violence around a child then that person needs to be kept away from children.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1 NTA they have known her for 4yrs and they dont have anymore consideration that they have. Ive have crohns for over 25 yrs and it gets frustrating when your SO doesn't have your back.

[@stephenlundy5082]

Story 1: NTA But on the other hand, I am a guy. I can be proud of a really smelly "trip to drop the kids off at the pool." Honestly though, as you said there was a guest bathroom across the house you could have used, and yet you chose to stink up the tiny room adjacent to where everyone was in knowing the smell would creep in there.

[@AlisonCasilli]

They chose to feed her food (and leave her no option at a dinner obstensibly to celebrate her engagement) that would make that happen. Play stupid games...