AITA For Getting Substitute Teacher Blacklisted! (r/aita)

[@MarkNarrations]

Super late but I hope you've had a great day so far. Much love!

[@spook9155]

Go to bed, man :0

[@thecookinestkid401]

Story 3: Better post title: Everybody Hates Chris.

[@LadyPrincessDiana]

Ahhh, now that you've posted, I can finally go to bed peacefully! Your video is part of my everyday routine now lol

[@katarinaprofil5682]

That's alright! I studied late today anyways. About to listen to your waffle for a good night! ✨

[@sofiasanguedolce1886]

No worries mark, it's the weekend hahah

[@alsinakiria]

A kid with severe food allergies needs to be taught not to take food. I never took food without asking as a child. Any kid can learn. Remind them every time they try about how they don't like having to go to the hospital, no toys, no friends, boring food. It's not a fun place to be. Don't take food.

[@sturgeonamlaw9626]

this!! i had a peanut allergy as a kid and by age 5 i knew i had to check the ingredients of anything i wanted to eat if i wasn't sure they were peanut free/i was eating at somebody elses' house. also since the dad was literally there its ridiculous the kid ate random nuggets anyway and totally not the fault of a literal 16yo.

[@t.matthies3049]

@@sturgeonamlaw9626 Exactly! If the parents are really that short on cash, they should ask the extended family for help pooling some funds together (not that anyone is obligated to give, but it's not unreasonable to ask for help for a child's health). OP might even decide to give a little, if they're so inclined, but asking someone to sacrifice 75% of their savings for a situation that wasn't their fault is absurd. Although, if the parents are making enough to set a small amount aside every month, I would expect them to always have at least enough money to replace one epipen (if not two or three) always in their bank account. I recognize it's not feasible for everyone, but that definitely should be a priority.

[@anjelicacruz1811]

not to mention the dad used the epipen completely incorrectly... you’re meant to use them once a severe reaction starts not just after contact with the allergen. the medication in those pens can be very dangerous, especially to a child, when they aren’t needed. he also should’ve been rushed to the er immediately after receiving that medication whether or not he actually had a reaction so they could monitor his heart.

[@scheneli000]

Hopefully after this they did

[@Dragonprincess21]

I think there was some miscommunication in that last post. If they had a professional cleaning lady then that means she was doing a deep clean. I believe the op meant she does an ordinary clean which is what most people do in their normal homes, but not a deep clean. And unless someone cleans the walls, in the vents, and in every nook and cranny everyday, then I believe they have no place saying she’s an AH.

[@abisnow1843]

yeah i was confused by the YTA judgements on that one because she SAID they did the dishes and changed sheets and stuff, they did the "daily" chores. But I wouldn't want to dust everyday when I'm working? I do think that splitting the chores would be best on that one, though, because 100% of the responsibility for those chores should NOT be on JUST her.

[@derekeuchner1800]

Lived with a friend of mine who was super clean. Most people consider myself to be a cluttered, but clean person. My friend however does like medium deep cleans weekly. My cleaning was simply never good enough.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

The fact they thought she would clean like a professional on top of a job? NTA!

[@gibgabs2899]

I see a lot of people pointing out there’s professional clean and normal clean, and I couldn’t agree more. There’s a level of tidiness that everyone should have, but that doesn’t mean everything should be so shiny it blinds you, everyday, that’s ridiculous

[@zombiexi1292]

Having worked as a house cleaner for 8 years, there is normal clean and there is professional clean. It sounds like the parents expect professional clean instead of normal clean. I do professional cleaning when my landlord is visiting for a walk through. I normal clean for myself because normal clean is fine for guests and company. Unless y'all always wash baseboards, clean vents, wash any tiny wall smudges, clean window blinds, shine your appliances, wipe light fixtures, etc. when you're normal cleaning.

[@amandalambkin4777]

YES! Thank you, I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me, for thinking NTA for that one. I mean, she says she does all the important stuff, the place isn't a a dump, it's just not professionally cleaned. If the people living in the house are fine with it, I don't see the problem.

[@CocoCece08]

Did you skip over the "we only clean fully once a month or once every TWO months " part? In NO way is OP not TA. My husband and I work five days a week, yet our house is freaking spotless. Why? We get off our asses and CLEAN. She's basically being an AH.

[@EmmyRae1885]

@@CocoCece08 you wash your windows and deep clean your house every week? That's great for you but not everyone feels the need for that, and theres no real NEED for it as long as daily upkeep like dishes and wiping up spills is maintained. Once a month or so is perfectly acceptable as long as everyone living in the house is agreeable

[@dragonrider1549]

As much as I agree with you, I was thinking NTA for the most part, but it still isn’t OP’s house and she’s not paying rent. If she was paying rent it would be completely different, but the high upkeep of the place is pretty much her and her boyfriends rent right now.

[@EmmyRae1885]

@@dragonrider1549 maybe now it is her responsibility but they didnt lay down any ground rules before hand so they cant really have expected her to maintain their level of cleanliness without ever having discussed it

[@Misspellednumbers]

Story 4: NTA. Mark, your version of clean isn't what they're talking about. My grandparents used to clean our house when I was younger. It was their "hobby" and favor to my mom. (Since my GPs were retired and active people.) Their version of clean was nearly professional! It was a every day, no breaks, on a cycle, nothing disorganized, type of clean. Basically... OCD. My grandpa thought our floors were always dirty, so he would get on his HANDS AND KNEES to scrub the floor tile by tile, AND STILL MOPPED AFTER. They had a whole system on how they would clean day by day. Eventually, we got old enough where my grandparents couldn't say: "your kids are young, so we must come to your house." They finally have the break they deserve, but when they come over to our house, they're never happy with the level of cleanliness. It's never enough, it's always dirty, and my grandma can "feel" the dirt under her shoes. Unless you're a professional or have it as a hobby/OCD, OP's clean is probably perfectly fine. (Sorry for the rant! As someone who probably understands what OP is going through, it's frustrating to see people say YTA. Even now, I think that my house isn't clean. Nothing is enough, nothing is ever enough. The kitchen will be clean, but it will never "shine" in my eyes.)

[@princessmitsuko]

The cleaning story NTA. When I started dating my so his grandmother use to pay for a cleaning lady. When I moved in she said it was my responsibility to keep the house clean. I clean as I go. I wash laundry as needed. 2 loads of cloths, 1 load of towels & wash rags, 1 load kitchen stuff, 1 load of bed sheets, pillow cases, & the dust ruffles, 1 load of furniture covers and 2 loads of blankets each week. I dust, sweep, vaccume, and mop at least twice a week. I beat the rugs once a week, and steam clean them once a month. My house is defined as clean by most people. My house is lived in not a show room. My grandmother in law is mad I do not clean the house right. I only dust the light fixtures not polish them twice a week. I don't polish the faucets after each use. I don't polish the table after every meal. I don't polish my kitchen appliances after each use. I put dirty cloths in a wicker hamper with lid instead of folding/hanging them and putting them away with my clean cloths. I organize my cloths my use then color not just by color. My favorite cloths are in front or middle on blue hangers, my dress cloths are on the left on white hangers and my work cloths are on the right on black hangers. My work cloths are all together in outfits. Work pants, shirt,socks, underwear, and so on. All I have to do in the morning is grad a black hanger on My way to the bathroom. My grandmother in law wants me to organize by color only and it drives her crazy that my hangers are all not the same color. And her biggest problem with me is that I put away the fancy monogrammed decorative towels I just put normal towels in my bathroom. Oh and that I don't have a bunch of through pillows all over my bed, on the guest bed, all over the couch and chairs in my living room.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 4: NTA. It sounds like the parents don't live there. They are paying their son's rent and his gf moved in. OP said that she dusts weekly, keeps up on dishes and laundry, and does a deep clean once a month or two. And given that BF and her work long hours, I imagine the house isn't dirty. The BF's parents are either controlling to have a paid maid service go to their son's home, or they are babying him. I honestly can't tell which and it might be both. OP also said that a new cleaning service hasn't been hired b/c the previous lady had been there for a decade and they don't want to trust someone new. So, what makes ppl think if OP hires a cleaning service the parents won't flip their lid b/c they didn't vet the person first? I think everyone is getting hung up that OP isn't paying rent. If she was, would everyone had said she was the AH? If the answer is no, then it's still no if she's not paying rent. And Mark, while you say you clean a room each night, do you clean the windows/mirrors/glass? Vacuum/wash the floor of one room a night? Wipe down the base boards? Clean the blinds? Or do you do a tidy up of the room, dust, wipe surfaces, and sweep/swiffer the floors? B/c it sounds like that wasn't enough for the BF's parents as OP said they took issue with the windows not being sparking clean and laundry being folded incorrectly (?!?).

[@bunnyslippers191]

Yeah, that "laundry folding incorrectly" is a big red flag. Everyone folds laundry to their own standard. Some people fold a shirt one way and other people fold a shirt a different way. There isn't one right way to fold a shirt or a pair of jeans, etc. It seems they were just looking for something so they could criticise the GF. They also really focussed on the GF about the cleaning and gave their son a pass. They seem to think the GF needs to be doing all the cleaning and to professional standards, too. They may not like it that she has moved in and are looking for a reason to kick her out and get her out of their son's life.

[@bunnyslippers191]

The parents aren't actually paying the son's rent. They own two homes, one in town and one in the country outside of town. They live in the country home because they prefer to live in the country and not in town, so they are "letting" their son live in the home in town. He had his GF move in with him. When the cleaning lady became unable to work they refused to get a new cleaning lady because they don't trust anyone else. They sound like at least the BF's mother is pretty picky and possibly a bit OCD if she demands an adult not her child fold her own clothes to the mother's specifications. Who demands that some other person fold their clothes a certain way when that person isn't even their child? It would be out of line for the mother to order her adult son to fold his clothes a certain way, let alone another adult who isn't even her child. That's a big, red flag of entitlement right there.

[@Boundwithflame23]

I think in the military you have to fold clothes a certain way? And in stores that sell clothes they look neater to the customers if they’re all folded the same way. But that’s like specific exceptions. Wonder if the BF’s mom assumed OP would be a live in housekeeper instead of working (another part of the reason they didn’t hire another cleaning lady) and when she found out that wasn’t the case she got mad.

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

Professional clean with a cleaning lady can be very different than how most people clean their homes. My family's cleaning lady does the windows & all the other glass (mirrors, shower doors, appliances & light fixtures) weekly, do you do that Mark? Shampooing of the rugs happens at least monthly. Is that how you clean? Sweeping & mopping is at least daily, depending on the time of year. In the spring or under heavy rain/snow days, she mops twice. Does that sound familiar? Vacuuming is daily because of the pets. Do you vacuum daily, Mark? Most people keep their homes clean & from the sounds of things these kids do as well. These parents sound like they are expecting professional clean & that's difficult for anyone who has an outside full time job to maintain. If the cleaning lady was there full time or close to it with a limited number of other clients, how are they ever supposed to keep that up?

[@SkylerLinux]

Story 4 Mark and the reply's he read, are all *wrong*. If they want professional cleaning then pay for it. It is a sweet deal, don't get me wrong. Circumstances changed, the In-laws could have then like Adults discussed with their son and his GF about the level of cleanliness they expected. Then all four could come to some agreement about everyone putting in to paying for professional cleaning or figuring something out. You do NOT just decide that the woman "of the house/relationship" will be a homemaker and well professionally clean the house.

[@mk_gamíng0609]

In the story the OP mentioned she does clean every week , Dust , dishes, and laundry. I also presume she cleans up any mess that happens there and then. What the Reddit comments seem to want is a weekly deep clean.

[@dustyrose192]

@@mk_gamíng0609 Who the fuck deep cleans like that? I and my friends all come from large families or messy families so i've never seen a very clean house. If you cna still see the floor, thats clean in my opinion. I'm saying nta for story four, she's keeping the house tidy, just not as tidy as her bf parents expect. Also why doesnt he do some chores like the dishes or lundary, why does she have to do the housework

[@kitsunekyubi9358]

agreed

[@mk_gamíng0609]

@@dustyrose192all of the Reddit commenters apparently

[@axisdoesart4721]

I agree with you there. Its kind of a dick move to just expect things on both ends. ESH. They all need to be adults and set up clear boundaries and expectations that are reasonable.

[@frogman1375]

i feel like ppl were a little harsh with that last story? idk. i'm someone who lives with chronic pain, so i can't clean all the time, and even cleaning a small portion of my living space can leave me exhausted. the op said that their home wasn't dirty, it just wasn't sparkling clean. i feel like the bf's parents were just like, spoiled rich ppl who are used to having cleaning people all the time, so a house that looks like people are actively living in it would look "dirty" to them. the op specifically mentioned dusting like every day, so i don't know why people were jumping on their back for not cleaning. also, just because someone works a lot, doesn't mean they're being paid enough for a cleaning service -- they could be working minimum wage and/or paying off loans. there's just not enough there for me, a broke person who physically can't clean my entire living space more than once a month, to call op an asshole. there's a difference between livable clean and cleaned top to bottom by a housewife, which is what the parents seemed to want op to be.

[@adamryan977]

Yeah but she lives there rent free and expected the parents to pay for the cleaning lady. This is not her place, its the place of his parents and therefor they decide what state of cleanness is acceptable. They didn't screamed or offended her, they just stated that they are uncomfortable with the way their house is kept by them. As on person said if she can't clean herself she can hire a cleaning lady herself with the money she safes by living rent free or move out. But being offended that his parents tell her how to live in their house is not her place.

[@bunnyslippers191]

So would the house be any cleaner if she moved out and left the cleaning to the BF? How is it totally the GF's job to clean the entire house, including windows and baseboards and mop all the bare floors and vacuum all the carpets every day? He lives there, too. Why is everyone focussing on the GF and not the BF?

[@thecraftycyborg9024]

I have full body CRPS myself, so I totally understand. I’m in agony right now after doing heavy yard work for 2 days. A newish friend and his fiancée came over to help today (ripping out rock retaining walls that got heavy damaged during a massive plumbing catastrophe) and he asked if I’m allowed to do this kind of work. We all laughed and I replied that no, I’m not allowed, yes I do it anyways, and no, I don’t tell my doctors. My mom added on “She’ll be stuck on the couch, unable to walk, for a good 2 days.” There’s a reason I rarely do this kind of big stuff!

[@justin09756]

@@adamryan977 as far as i can tell she never said she expected a cleaner. It sounds to me like they clean the house on their own like most normal people do, with a deeper cleaning every month to 2 months. My stepmom is a bit on the obsessive side of cleaning and we still only clean our windows twice a year, sweep and mop the house once a week, and clean all the bathrooms and change bedsheets once a week. Sounds to me like the parents were expecting daily deep cleaning of the entire house when that isnt the norm or practical thing for two working individuals, especially when the people living there keep it clean and dust free.

[@drenandtarb]

I totally agree, I'd kill to be able to dust and clean dishes daily. 😂

[@thecraftycyborg9024]

The cleaning lady thing is fucking ridiculous. The house isn’t dirty, it just doesn’t look like a magazine photo. I grew up with a mom who kept the house photo-shoot perfect at all times. When I first moved out, it was snuffed at that I didn’t deep scrub the floors every single week. My house was clean, it just didn’t look like a fucking advertisement for Mr Clean or something. And frankly, that’s how it sounds like this person keeps their home. If the parents want it look magazine ready 24/7, that’s they’re issue. She isn’t trashing the place or anything. She doesn’t bitch about the fact the maid had to quit. She just does the deep cleaning in her own schedule, which is only fair. SHE lives there, along with her bf, and they’re happy with the state of things. If no one else lives there and there’s no damage being done, the in laws need to chill the fuck out.

[@teresabrewer4052]

Cleaning once a month?! Omg what does your bathroom smell like having 2 people there. The oven and floors must be nasty. Also they didn't even say every month sometines every couple of months

[@gerble36]

@@teresabrewer4052 Define nasty. Cleanly people have to clean less often. If you have to deep clean so much, maybe your problem is your habits, not a cleaning schedule :P. Just saying. If one doesn't make a mess to begin with, one doesn't have to clean said mess that was never made.

[@echo_fire_fusion]

@@teresabrewer4052 I live with my father and me and him don't keep the flat spotless because it's not possible and we don't clean the oven or the bathroom every month because we clean up after ourselves and in my opinion cleaning every day is obsessive and that should be the problem because maybe op's has his dust allergy because the of the house always being dust free and the outside world well is not and his could have a problem with that which shows itself in an allergic reaction to dust

[@0Jenna7]

@@teresabrewer4052 She did say she did essentials, giving examples of such. I would in all words consider bathrooms essential to wash. If not the floor, then the places frequently used. I don't need to draw you a picture I hope.

[@thecraftycyborg9024]

Teresa Brewer - Go re-listen to that story, you missed a lot of details. She dusts multiple times per week, does her bathroom essentials frequently, etc. She just isn’t doing the deep cleaning stuff like scrubbing every floor at once or doing all the windows every single week. I don’t know why people think she isn’t cleaning at all. She is. She clearly states it. She’s just not keeping it photo shoot perfect 24/7. It’s fine to only scrub your windows once a month. I do mine 2-3 times per year- I’m disabled and it’s very hard on me to do them- and even my clean freak mom and grandma barely notice it. As for MY home, since you demanded to know how filthy it is- one, I live alone, so there’s not “2 people”. Two, I spot clean my bathroom (doing toilet, sink, and shower separately, normally) as needed, meaning everything is cleaned at least weekly. I do my bathroom counter at least 3 times per week because my cats like to sit there. I never have dishes sitting out for more than 24 hours. If I’m too sick to handle them, a family member comes over to do it so I don’t get bugs. My craft room is messy but not dirty- I don’t want grime on my yarn and fabrics! There’s just project boxes stacked up and a sewing machine in pieces while I restore it. So yeah, my home isn’t photo shoot ready but it IS perfectly fine for living in safely and cleanly! Get the stick out of your ass and stop judging people for not living up to your utterly ridiculous standards. Eta- oh yeah, and my oven is spotless, likely far cleaner than yours, because I clean up spills the second they happen. If you clean as you go, you don’t need to do the bat shit crazy deep cleans every single week.

[@nisshokutamashi4550]

Story 3: I quote Yondu from Guardians of the Galaxy. "He may be your dad but he ain't your daddy." Blood doesn't define family and if Chris wants to whine then tough shit, go cry a river.

[@SkylerLinux]

In regards to Chris wanting to be a Dad, should have got his Cheating GF to leave her decent Husband 20 years AGO to partial custody to raise OP.

[@kitsunekyubi9358]

agreed

[@heleneclark563]

1st Story: NTA !! I would have done the same thing, some people are allergic to both peanuts and peanut oil.

[@heatherduke5410]

Same. I really wouldn't have known the difference, tbh. I'd have figured that the kid was also allergic to the peanut oil. I mean, I haven't had Chick-Fil-A since I was a teen, but from what I recall, the boxes the nuggets come in warn that the chicken is fried in peanut oil.

[@GrassJelly101]

@@heatherduke5410 I'm allergic to peanuts and peanut oil. Thing is: 100% refined peanut oil like from Chick-fil-A has the allergen/protein removed and therefore doesn't cause an allergic reaction. So refined peanut oil is significantly different from peanut oil. OP probably should've said the nugget was from Chick-fil-A, but the dad should've inspected the food first.

[@heatherduke5410]

@@GrassJelly101 Ah! I didn't know that. I figured that the peanut oil was just as bad since the boxes and bags the sandwiches and nuggets are in warn that it's fried in peanut oil the way those sugar cookies that you can get in the bakery section of a grocery store or Walmart warn that they're made in a place that might have peanut dust. But yeah, you'd have thought the dad would've looked at what his kid had eaten or kept an eye on him since his sister was attending an online Zoom class.

[@bunnyslippers191]

My sister developed a peanut allergy about 15 years ago. She has had to stop eating Chinese restaurant food because they use peanut oil in their cooking. She can't even eat a lot of nuts, such as cashews, so called "mixed nuts," etc. unless she reads the label to make sure they aren't roasted in peanut oil. Not all peanut oil is refined to the point the peanut allergen as been removed and my sister will get a migraine if she has any of that. Chick Fil A may use oil with the allergen refined out of it, but many restaurants do not and it can cause an allergic reaction. NTA

[@thecraftycyborg9024]

Everyone I know with a peanut allergy has been told to avoid everything cooked in peanut oil. I would have given the kid an epi-pen if I’d been there. And that kid REALLY needs to be told to not take food without asking! Not only is it rude, it’s dangerous as hell for him be doing that.

[@TheActualOcean]

With story 4 there is a lot of context missing EX where they live or how big the house is. I dont really have a job but i am doing online classes that take up as much time as a job would. I live out in the country in a decent size house and to completely dust everything, mop and vacuum the floors, wash the windows, clean all the room, clean all the bathrooms, do the dishes, take out the trash, etc. it can take a lot of time mainly the windows as unless you do it in a specific way they will have water stains and not even to mention the amount of dust build up on them just because of farm land surrounding out house. If they live in a similar home as I do they would 100% be NTA. Things are a lot cleaner if you have someone that does it for you rather than do it yourself.

[@seankeller1560]

Plus what is clean to the parents. I doubt a non professional can get the house to the same level of a cleaning lady. Plus she is making efforts to clean and it's not like she's demanding they hire a new one.

[@DuckTapeWarrior1]

Anyone else extremely mad that the sub decided that she “didn’t know if it was a valid reason” so she took it. Edit: now I’m wondering if she would consider allergies and other health problems “valid reasons”. O.P. was absolutely right, that sub should not be in charge of anyone, much less kids.

[@Keiji555]

She was an idiot, since she used that excuse. It would have been written in his IEP, and on the lesson plan. there is a section for that.

[@CocoCece08]

She might want to go find a valid job. If she can even find one.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 4 I can understand that the parents want their house cleaned, but then the boyfriend and OP should BOTH do it.

[@AuntieCreed]

The story about the Substitute teacher,...ooooh that one riles me up. My son is Autistic and while he was going to public school he had issues. Substitutes were a nightmare, they never paid attention to notes from my son's teachers. They wouldn't let him walk with his friend at the back of the line (this was something we'd agreed on so he could stim comfortably without risk of accidentally hitting other kids), they'd make him stay out in the sun at recess until he got sick (his real teacher knew that he was sensitive to heat and got easily dehydrated) and other things like that. I grew to detest substitute teachers, so no I don't think the teacher was the a-hole at all!

[@tegantalks9612]

That sub story had me heated! I work as a substitute teacher’s assistant part time, so I end up working with a lot of special needs kids. My job is to try to keep things as consistent as possible for these kids despite the absence of their regular TA. If the regular TA or a regular teacher tells me that a certain student needs to do a certain thing or has a certain ritual, my job is to make sure that thing gets done and not question the instructions. I do not know the kid better than their regular teacher/TA.

[@daddaughterresellers6098]

Epipens and insulin are way over priced here in the USA. Just sickening.

[@dream6562]

That's corporate capitalism baby

[@daddaughterresellers6098]

@@dream6562 you’ve got that right.

[@daddaughterresellers6098]

@@F40PH-2CAT well not everyone’s insurance pays as much towards there insulin or epipen or for those who don’t have insurance it’s very expensive. It’s great that you have an insurance company that pays for your insulin and epipens.

[@ljh5141]

1-NTA. How could you know that nephew was okay with peanut oil? Most people with peanut allergies won't even touch peanut oil. $600 USD is outrageous for an epi-pen. In Canada, even without insurance, they are just under $100. I am sorry OP, that your island brother are being this way, it is completely unreasonable.

[@dragonrider1549]

With that last story, I have to wonder how dirty the house even was. OP said they are doing all the basic chores as necessary, but if it’s just a layer of dust I don’t think it’s such a big deal. In fact it’s even proven that living in too clean of an environment damages your immune system. That being said, it’s still an ESH situation, same as the commenter you read said.

[@kudoro1357]

What's up with substitute teachers for kindergarten being so disgustingly terrible? When I was in kindergarten I had a sub one day who was verbally and physically abusive, yelling and cussing at kids and when one kid wouldn't stop crying, she grabbed him by his hair and dragged him out of the room and down the hall to the principles office, though I think she let go before they got there because the principle had no idea about it later. My mother who is herself a kindergarten teacher who taught the class right next door to mine was furious when she found out and we essentially got that sub blacklisted as well. I can still remember the principle telling her to "never step foot on this property again or else" and threatening to call police for trespassing. Shame that when that principle moved or retired his replacement let her right back in.

[@ettinakitten5047]

I heard that a lot of people who used to be full-time teachers and aren't anymore end up as subs. Some of them aren't full-time for reasons that aren't concerning, like just getting older or having kids that need them to work fewer hours, but some got fired for being bad teachers but still manage to get work as a sub.

[@OneToxicPixel]

Ok so let me get this clear for Story 1... The parents show up, unannounced, with their highly allergic kid, to a home that is not inhabited by anyone else who has to avoid peanuts so of course there will be peanuts somewhere probably, and instead of telling their kid to not just take food because kiddo could potentially die from it, they let the kid roam around UNSUPERVISED and then get angry when they wasted an epipen because of an allergy scare? Also the whole "The peanut oil is refined so it's fine" argument doesn't even apply to every allergic person, it's not common knowledge either, the Dad himself didn't even know this! Op is not the asshole, the parents are a little bit for not telling their allergic son to not randomly stuff his face with just whatever and then expecting Op to have a doctor's degree and know everything about their son's allergy when it's not Op's job to do that. Also screw the pharma industry in the USA.

[@chickencrusade3886]

The last story just has me confused??? Yeah the GF does sound a bit ungrateful but from what im gathering here she IS cleaning the house? She's just not polishing the windows and counter tops. :v

[@purpledragon2442]

It doesn’t sound that dirty really. I love that everyone is ripping into her. She’s not even entitled like most people are flipping out about! She’s literally saying how grateful she is. We don’t even know how much she’s working. With how it is right now, she could easily be racking up 60+ hours a week being essential worker.

[@adamryan977]

@@purpledragon2442 yeah it doesn't sound dirty but this is not her place so she can't decide what state of cleanness is acceptable. His parents just stated they aren't satisfied with the state their house is in, so she can either do something to make it acceptable or move, but saying i live here so i decide what is clean is entitled. If she is working so much that she has no time to clean she can hire a cleaning lady herself with the money she saves by living rent free. And if she is so grateful has she ever mentioned it to his parents? The way she wrote this text it sounds like How dare is parents tell me how to clean the house i'm living in rent free, its my place now so i decide what to do. And that is entitled

[@purpledragon2442]

Adam Ryan it really didn’t come off that way to me. And who’s to say she isn’t saving her money for something like student loans? And the parents themselves said they don’t want a new cleaning lady so it won’t work out.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@adamryan977 What about the BF? He lives there, too, why didn't the parents include the BF in their critique of the cleanliness of the house? Why is it *only* the GF's job to clean. Maybe if the BF did more cleaning they could approach the cleanliness required by his parents.

[@adamryan977]

@@bunnyslippers191 I agree with you that both people living there should do their part but that's not what the question was about. His girlfriend was appalled that his parents dictate how to clean their house.Both people living their should do the cleaning together but the parents can decide how clean they want their home, especially when letting them live there for free.

[@leventevirag1653]

Normal peopke: You cant put a price tag on peoples lives. Us: Its 600$ actually.

[@user-td3ot7xq8p]

I kinda got a sub blacklisted when I was super sick for three days. I made a lot of very detailed sub plans and instead of doing them he talked to the kids about his breakup and his dating life for three days. I don’t feel bad about it at all because that’s inappropriate and it put the kids so far behind that I was afraid to take any sick days, even when I was extremely unwell. Subbing isn’t a job you only do for extra cash. It’s still integral to the well-being of the children.

[@UncleMikeDrop]

Before I heard the Chic-fil-A story, I had no idea that peanut oil could be refined in a way that made it safe for people with peanut allergies.

[@FlamingoSundew]

Is it just me or at 6:04 the audio sorta changes

[@ItsGlitchUwU]

yeah it's an issue with the video

[@magemastermlg6210]

Dude I though my my right side of my headphones died

[@shithead1029384756]

Glad it wasn't my headphones

[@tankdempsey7845]

Yup

[@pierrotlehonque5084]

oh thank god my headphones didn't break

[@agroteraaaa]

let's all take a moment to thank the US healthcare system for $600 epipens /s

[@agator2149]

Nothing says "We care for your health" then minimum wage not being able to cover it!

[@tess289]

It doesn't make it less bad but that is just the cash price of it, there's insurance and discount cards that can help bring it down Edit im a pharmacy tech and I dont make enough to be able to get an extra for someone 🙃

[@audrey9561]

I’m glad I’m not deathly allergic to anything. I wouldn’t be able to afford that ;-;

[@purpledragon2442]

Our glorious American economy and it’s non rights to health care.

[@DepressedPossums]

I have a plethora of allergies, 5 that are lethal, but have gone the past 7 years without an EpiPen because I can't afford 600 bucks (after insurance and a coupon) for something that costs literally a dollar to make 😁 glad to know my government REALLY cares :)))

[@jennysmith38]

With a prescription, as far as I know, in Australia, an EpiPen is $41.00. I can't believe they cost that much in the USA, they are definitely being ripped off

[@quix66hiya22]

Jenny Smith mine don’t, but I have insurance. I think $60 at the most.

[@charleshelm79]

Insulin can fun up to $1,000 for a 30 day supply in the us.

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

Fuck, I read that as $4.100! Yeah, the fully free market will never work.

[@quix66hiya22]

Jasper Jay De Graeve lol!

[@quix66hiya22]

Petit Tas de Boue that’s not funny. It’s tragic. And we the people don’t have power to change it thanks to the deathcare industry and its jackass lobbyists.

[@fcold9402]

1. NTA. You were being responsible informing the dad of the peanut oil. How are you supposed to know if peanut oil is fine if dad didnt know?

[@charliefinlow665]

Story 3: reply to the message as 'did you care about my dads feelings when you cheated for 2 decades?'

[@katherinekurzius290]

PP in the epipen story: You would have been criminally irresponsible if you had NOT spoken up. Nephew could have died, his parents are jerks!

[@Lykanna]

For the last story: I'm renting a place and part of our rent pays for a cleaning lady. She does a deep clean while we do a normal clean most of the time. What the parents expect of the girlfriend is really unreasonable (considering she works a lot too! And they don't expect the same of the boyfriend). It's nice that she can live there for free but to expect her to deep clean everyday/week is a little excessive. It takes our cleaning lady 2-3 hours or more (depending) and the house we live in is average sized.

[@goromajima7677]

First story: us healthcare is TA in this story. But NTA, dad should’ve known peanut oil was ok, and op did a good job, knowing what things have peanut in it

[@klarabjerin8706]

story 1: 100% NTA. i feel like its a lose lose situation for OP. they were just looking out for the kid. if they didnt say anything, the family wouldve been furious since it couldve been dangerous. but since they said something, its their fault that it wasnt dangerous enough. the dad went right ahead without thinking and is then mad at OP? hell no. if the kid was eating those chicken nuggets because hed had them before, the dad was stupid for going ahead with the epipen. if he was eating them because hes uncarefull and goes around doing whatever, he should be disciplined to not only not eat others food and to not eat something before he knows he can. not the fault of OP in any situation imo.

[@fionamasters1822]

The second story reminds me of my high school choir sub we had. One of the other girls had gotten a concussion and had a note saying she didn't need to stand because she would get dizzy. This jerk would not let her stay in her chair while singing no matter what she said or the rest of us said.

[@Angelgirl18647]

Story 3 - "He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy."

[@dawncooper5308]

US prices for medicine is thru the roof. Just 1 of my inhalers, for my asthma, is over $800.

[@captainhamada637]

Bruh im in England 1 asthma pump is £9

[@leratoslittlecorner]

Dude, I’m South African and here it’s R43 which is $2,57. Wow

[@Dragonmaster0118]

It's Chick full of hate.

[@GIChiyo]

You pronounced Chick-Fil-A properly that time, just fyi lol

[@tarotinthekichen1831]

Here is the thing a “clean” house is very subjective. My mom didn’t consider the house clean unless the bathtub was cleaned with a Brillo pad and all the floors were scrubbed on my hands and knees every speck of dust gone all kitchen surfaces shining the dish drainer washed the fridge top wiped down the dinning room table and chair legs polished the clothes on the linen closet and drawers perfectly folded and windows washed. This is not something you have time to do all the time especially if she has to go through the stuff in the house and dust daily also linens need to be washed much more frequently ect

[@AnymousScreams]

In the last story, the OP is not the bad guy. The boyfriend's parents are sexist, though, because OP and their boyfriend should equally clean. We clean the house I live in every two weeks or once a month. OP meant casual cleaning. It's hard to walk around with foot pain and migraines for me, but I do what I can in little amounts. Why did the parents not ask the boyfriend to clean, too? They expect professional cleaning, not their casual cleaning. I lived in a B&B growing up and now only casually clean.

[@jodieisnotokay]

Youve honestly became my favourite KZbinr so quickly. Ive binge watched all of the aita videos while re decorating

[@citrinedragon1466]

Story 1: An interesting piece of trivia... some months ago I read an article about epipens. At the time it cost approximately $2.75 to make an epipen. A specific company in USA was given a monopoly on them for their country, retailing epipens for.... (wait for it).... $790 or so dollars each.

[@thefilthycasual6402]

I don’t see enough people questioning why the nephew just decided to help himself to the Op food.

[@placateddoll]

1st story: NTA. Holy hell! How TF is OP supposed to know that if dad doesn't!? Also, how about parents teaching their son not to eat *ANYTHING* unless they get the okay from mom and/or dad.

[@Spiritwingz56]

My friend's a teacher who has some snakes in their room. My friend told me that a sub was telling my friend's students they should do stuff to kill the snakes and that if they got out she'd kill them... Subs can be pretty bad.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: NTA - You did the right thing in letting his parent know what he ate without permission. It's their responsibility to know what does or does not cause a reaction, and frankly, better safe than sorry. It's also on the parents to teach an allergic child to NEVER take ANY food without checking with Mom or Dad first, especially someone else's food. I knew this from the time I was very young. Not your fault, and not your responsibility to pay.

[@princesslulu5795]

Uh that sub deserves to be blacklisted as she clearly has no business working with kids, especially ones with special needs. This was completely out of line and i dont care if she needs the money. If you expect to be given work you do your job correctly and dont overstep authority. I worked with kids at my last job and would never do this. I ALWAYS made sure to follow any special needs plans or specific requests from families, and not once did I try to undermine that as it is not up to me and would be against the kid’s best interests

[@sinistersilence489]

I'm glad i'm not the only one with a cleaning schedule lol, I have my daily tasks and then my weekly tasks with which day I should do them on

[@justine8387]

"Chris, I did not think about you when I made this post. I don't think about you. Ever. Nothing in my life is about you."

[@digitalharmony26]

It’s amazing that some people think that ever though you work full time your vagina keeps the house clean. The house is clean, but so what if the widows and bathtub aren’t shining? She cooks, cleans, does washing, vacuums, dusts, all the normal things. NTA

[@Adelynoir]

There is a difference between having a cleaning lady come in and cleaning your house. Having a cleaning lady is a full time job. They spend hours going over the baseboards, dusting everything, and getting spots most people don't even think of. It is their full time job. As someone with a full-time job, I think it is fair to do an average clean once a week- bathroom, sweep and mop floors, vaccume rugs, dust, ect. And a deep clean once a month. But to expect someone who has a full-time job to spend one entire day a week doing the work of a cleaning lady is a bit unfair. I do agree though that the girlfriend could just hire a cleaning lady since she is saving money, but they should allow her to wait until the pandemic is a little less immediate

[@lazarusthibodeaux]

I paid $300 for 2 Epipens at Walmart Pharmacy. I have an allergy to something that’s in a certain kind of detergent.

[@ljh5141]

3-NTA. You shared a beautiful moment that you shared with your life-Dad. You didn't do it to spite the donor. The relative that shared it is an SD! You may want to consider blocking the sh1t disturbed that shared your post. Keep having that wonderful relationship with your Dad and update all of your ICE info, so that your Life-Dad is your contact, etc.

[@sparkyatthesnackshack2160]

Its not often that a AITAH story reactions get me so pissed, but it does happen, that last story is one of those times. Basically what the op was saying is that the house was clean but not everyone cares about a little dust on a window ledge. Also yes they may have been paying for the place, but they did not live there. Its their choice to pay the rent, but that doesn't make it their residents. You dont live here, you dont have a say period. If you think you paying for something means you get to control how i live, i dont need your money.

[@15oClock]

1. OP didn't know it wasn't a danger; they only did what they thought was needed. This peanut oil thing is news to me, probably news to most people. 2. Blacklists are for people that have been proven untrustworthy by the industry, not people bad at their job. I wouldn't trust this lady with my theoretical children. 3. Chris was never OP's father, nor will he ever be. Blood doesn't make family, bonds do. 4. How do they have the time to make a mess, but not the time to clean it up? It's misogynistic to put it all on OP, but could either of them do something!?

[@SkylerLinux]

Should re-read the post, (Mark too) They do clean the house, just not to the same level that the more well off Inlaws wanted.

[@CocoCece08]

@@SkylerLinux Only once a month or once every TWO months? That's not cleaning, that's being freaking lazy.

[@littleowl22778]

@@SkylerLinux yeah, like if they expect it to squeaky clean and not up their stupid old ways standards. If they are mad they didn't fold them a certain way, as long ad they are folded up and put away and not in messy piles all over the floor then sure, but if not then its them having stupid ocd ways of expecting them to fold them in a particular way and if not then they say they are untidy. Or having a few dishes in the sink at any given time and not leaving them to pile up for days or weeks. I for one don't clean up all my pots and pans, plate and cutlery straight after a meal because im full up and just wanna relax and rest my food, not stand up full up for half hour or 20 odd minutes washing up. I wait till im not feeling full up then do it later on. That doesn't make me messy or dirty. I don't think people at Christmas or Thanksgiving start washing up after everyone's eaten, no because everyone is full up and wants to rest and relax not wash up for over half hour. I hardly ever wash my windows and they aren't caped in dust and dirt, i bet most people don't even think to clean their windows on a weekly basis let alone a monthly basis for that matter. Yes i clean my carpet every other day and do my clothes when they need doing, change my sheets and wash my bedding and pillows too. I dust once every few months too, no need to dust every week, it doesn't build up that quickly at least it doesn't in my room.

[@SkylerLinux]

@@CocoCece08 Did you read/listen to what they said? They only do a super cleaning once a month. They very clearly say the dust at least once a week.

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

I know that some can't even have peanut oil so it still matters!

[@ladyviren]

ESH for the cleaning story, though for op and her boyfriend this can change for better or worse because we have no info. Why are they even there? How much do they make between them? How do they set aside time to deep clean every one to two months? And what dies that mean, the unnecessary stuff? Do they clean the bathrooms and kitchen every week or is it jumbled on that one cleaning day? This is all important information we don't know that could either improve or lower their rating.

[@UncleMikeDrop]

The only real issue is that they would expect her alone to keep the house clean. It would make more sense for her and her BF to share that responsibility.

[@MistrzSzopen]

the last story NTA... they both work, so they BOTH should clean! and this "If you want to live with our son you have to clean" BF parents are just sexist.

[@armaanijabir]

Another video to watch while I work thanks Mark!

[@fcold9402]

2. NTA and OP should not feel bad. You gave her specific instructions and she ignored them. Then when you confronted her about it she did not say she was sorry but basically said you were wrong. No amount of retraining fixes that arrogant disregard of rules you already had in place.

[@omnipossum92]

Epipens in Australia are about $80 at most, or $5.80 for concession on the PBS (Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme) $600?!

[@coral4826]

Can confirm that refined peanut oil is fine for people with peanut allergies as a person with a similar allergy who loves Chick-fil-a 😂

[@movieluva5073]

For Story 3; I consider my stepfather my dad. Mum and Dad divorced when I was 2-3 yrs old to be with my now-stepdad (who actually *respected* my mum. Dad's something of a misogynist/control freak/narcissist). So, I've known my stepdad my whole life.He didn't 'raise' me and my older sister as such (Mum did that) but he was our father figure and looked after us. As I have gotten older, I've come to understand what it means to be a good parent - they don't have to be biological.

[@0Jenna7]

Everyone is different, everyone has different situations, so don't expect everyone's homes to be up to _your_ standards, whatever those may be.

[@dreampiper]

Story 3: He may be your father, boy...but he ain’t your daddy!

[@keirarush9505]

Story 2/ title story: did anyone else notice that she took the letter away, knowing that he was allowed to hold it due to emotional needs, and told him she threw it away. She told him she threw it away. This lady deserved it and knew exactly what she was doing

[@NeoLotex]

Story 1: NTA in my opinion. I get that OPs brother panicked and probably didn't think too hard about it, but as his father he probably should know about his son's allergies and he should'v also taught his son to not just eat anything he sees if he doesn't know what if it contains allergens or not. Story 3: NTA, should just flat out tell everyone that he doesn't care for Chris and that he has absolutely not relevence for his life and therefor nothing he ever says or does will be about him.

[@fcold9402]

3. NTA. Only their own narcissistic arrogance caused them pain. You were not thinking about the other guy at all only about your Dad, the guy that loved and raised you. Mom and the other guy haven't figured out that the opposite of love is not hate but apathy. You do not sit around hating them and thinking about them all the time and that has to drive them crazy.

[@rmisionero]

$600 for an Epipen. Did you know that they used to be $24/piece. Who's the real a-hole, now?

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

Story 1: NTA, how old is the nephew? If he’s old enough to know he shouldn’t just eat someone else’s food without checking if that was meant for him first, then it’s not OP‘s fault the EpiPen got used. The kid shouldn’t be eating other people’s food. Op took the “rather be safe than sorry” approach. The dad should know about his own kid’s allergy instead of relying on his teenage sibling to be all knowing of, once again, HIS kid’s allergy.

[@boredchannel1191]

1st story was all wrong...the most important part was rhe fact that that little twerp STOLE food. I would smack anyone who so much as looks at my food

[@Stari27]

I'm in America, and carry EpiPens. I'm fortunate to only have to pray 25$after insurance. I can't imagine the fear a parent unable to afford one feels. However I also have always been told to use the EpiPen only if symptoms present. I'm allergic to seafood and bees. There are times a little cross contamination from seafood happens, and my reaction is minor enough not to use it. Epinephrine is a powerful medication that can be deadly and should never be used unless needed for certain. Peanut allergies can range from no eating peanuts to if a kid ate in a room before the kid with allergy enters they will go into anaphylactic shock. Because of that every kid I know who had allergies like that learn very young not to take food with or without permission unless it is someone they know is safe to take from. They also learn to recognize the earliest signs of problems in case it is triggered by something unseen.

[@UncleMikeDrop]

It is no more the right of a substitute teacher to override what has been established in a classroom setting than it would be the right for a babysitter to override what has been established in a home setting.

[@1471perry]

how dare ur step parents ask u to clean the house u live in next thing they will want u buy and cook ur own food .... how privilege is she

[@sam11182]

Mr. Krabbs purchased the rights to the epipen. It's not the liquid in the pen that's pricy. It's the "Rolex" pen that costs an arm and a leg

[@tabathaalshalhoub1653]

Story 2... as a teacher, and a kindergarten teacher... it’s really hard on kids starting school. It’s a new environment, new rules, new people. It’s hard enough with well adjusted children. And it’s a mistake a lot of new/inflexible teacher make. As a teacher, you have the power & it can go to your head. With my own three kids sometimes, you want them to do/act a certain way & you make it a battle of wills when it doesn’t have to be. Especially as a teacher, you need to not give in to the power trips and really focus on your job (which is helping the children). Anyway, tl;dr NTA

[@EmmyRae1885]

Once a month for big stuff like cleaning the windows and mopping, with daily upkeep like dishes kept up is not unreasonable house keeping.

[@925263]

Your audio derps up at 6:04. Te left speaker ain't workin' no mo'e.

[@umaca2]

seconded

[@Keiji555]

I work in the education industry, and that sub should have read the individualized education plan with the boy. The details of his personal history and how it is acceptable to have that letter and the reasons associated with it should be in there. Even in the lesson plans for the sub to read, it would be noted in there. The sub neglected to do the basics before starting the class. The sub wasn't interested in doing her job. In fact, she was either lying, or incredibly stupid if she said she didn't know why he had it. Because clearly, the boy isn't the one who doesn't know how to read, or listen to instructions from both principal, and teacher. She would have been given instructions on the matter, and that he is a foster child.

[@purpleiguana208]

First story: I say, as the child's dad, he should have told him to not eat someone else's food. But glad the child is safe, of course.

[@Homewarfare]

My dude why are you talking in my left ear at 6:02 ? lol

[@MarkNarrations]

Yes someone else mentioned this. Strange audio bug.....let's cal it asmr 😂

[@viridityone3106]

Why don't the kids parents have insurance,if your child has a potentially life-threatening allergy they should have insurance to pay for the epipens.

[@AdmiralKakarot]

To story 1, oh yeah. Epi's are insanely expensive. Even my EMS squad had a hard time getting them because of how much they cost. We carried two, maybe three epi-pens in each rig at most due to their cost. But epi-pens are not the only medication that costs a fortune here in the US. Some prescription pills can cost well into the thousands PER PILL. Big Pharma is a huge issue here. They get to determine the prices and most of the time, lower income families and individuals who need these medications ultimately can't afford them. That is the leading cause of death from treatable illnesses and conditions.

[@rosetyler1434]

Story 1: nta. You knew his allergy and knew that his allergen was used to make that food that the kid took without asking. You had no way of knowing the nitty gritty details of refining things somehow canceling out allergies. Also, my cousin had a peanut allergy as well and avoids chic fil a like the plague and would never risk eating stuff with peanut oil since hes had a reaction from it before. There’s no way of you knowing how much peanut will be enough to cause a reaction, so you did the right thing.

[@fhuber7507]

2... NTA. substitute disobeyed direct instructions about an emotionally distressed child. That is reportable.

[@lizcatty9281]

Was just bout 2 have a nap when I saw u'd posted, much easier 2 fall asleep now. 😉 Have a gr8 day/night! ❤🇦🇺

[@beliciapinkrah3919]

are you saying mark's videos are boring because I'm offended

[@lizcatty9281]

@@beliciapinkrah3919 Lol, calming, not boring. 😉

[@beliciapinkrah3919]

@@lizcatty9281 I'm still offended

[@VergilTheLegendaryDarkSlayer]

EpiPens cost $38 in Australia the price has not changed from 1990 and no prescription is needed Meanwhile in America they've put the price up by $500 since 2009 because so many people need them

[@abelink9229]

Story 3: OP didn't choose Chris (to be his biological father). Even OP's mom didn't choose Chris! Or else she would have divorced and gotten with thim above board. So, who the hell is Chris? Just a DNA contributor.

[@RedReaper666OG]

Any guy can be a "father", but it takes a real man to be called Dad!

[@violaagirl]

You have to pay for an epipen in England?! That’s wild! (I live in Scotland)

[@AngryKatie18]

I live in the USA and have phenomenal health insurance by US standards and even after insurance, each EpiPen costs me $150. I can die from anaphylactic shock if I go near cayenne pepper or horseradish/wasabi. Restaurant screw-ups that cause me to use a Pen probably cost me over $1000 a year in epipens alone. Also, the epipen only lasts a short time: if you use one, you have to call an ambulance and go to the hospital. Ambulance = $250-500 (depends on deductible and with insurance) and then treatment at the hospital usually runs me about $1000 to $3000 depending on how much medication I need to open my airways so I can breathe on my own and not die. Knowing that I have to pay over $3K to not die every time this happens infuriates me to no end. If I didn’t have insurance I would not be surprised if a single episode would cost a person $10,000.

[@CleopatraDK]

Wow. That last post were SO sexist! The only reason she was expected to do it was because she's a woman. You can't expect someone with a job to keep a whole house spotless by themselves. Had the guy had a male roommate, I bet they would not expected much from him.

[@SeraphsGenisis]

Story 1: Yeah the culture shock of health care in the US compared to other places is insane. It's another reason why a lot of people insist on not calling an ambulance here in the US. It costs a shit ton of money and it's terrible, really. Other countries: Free health care! YAY! America: WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO INTO DEBT?!

[@deifieddata4462]

All Op1 did was tell them the kid ate the nugget - they're the ones that used the pen. They're trying to scam op

[@maheenahmed6653]

First one, NTA. I knew chicfila uses peanut oil to fry a lot of their food, but not all. And as far as I’ve known, people with peanut allergies can’t eat the foods cooked in it. I didn’t realize they could have peanut oil. Also did anyone invite nephew to eat the food or did he just help himself? Because I feel like that’s rude but passable if that’s something he’s allowed to do at grandma and grandpas or he was offered the food. Or he was really really young

[@babs5481]

This was a lovely surprise! Just in time to listen while cooking dinner after a long day.