I Refused To Take In BIL When He Ruined My Things And Tried To Blame The Cat r/Relationships UPDATE

[@MarkNarrations]

Apologies didn't mean for it to go on that long, I was reading and it didn't stop. Haha. Also apologies on my prononciation of tortilla! 😂❤

[@katiesmith2031]

I think it's awesome an hour of your voice sounds like a great time

[@clairebear-96]

Haha don’t apologize mark, we love long videos here

[@DoomChibi99]

No worries, Mark. If its gonna be a spicy story, it might as well be long.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Its funny

[@martia9176]

Don’t apologize this is awesome

[@joshuaortega1852]

I'm sickened by the mom. She creates this whole situation then has the nerve to yell at OP and blame her for the family falling apart. Lady your family was held together by chewing gum rubber bands and paper clips.

[@cristinaj4274]

Chewing gum rubber bands and paper clips! 😂😂😂😂🤣🥲

[@memeking7273]

1st. Lol That's accurate. 2nd: "But your wrong. OP did this. If she had kept her mouth shut and taken the abuse non of this would have happened" -The mother probably

[@mistysgamingchannel9918]

Me too

[@nataliaperez678]

@@memeking7273 what's a little pee every once in a while? MAYBE IF SHE WAS A MOTHER she would understand that pee is not a big deal

[@ginathecookie]

yeah she can't blame the op for accidentally bumping the rubber band

[@terriwetz6077]

The brothers didn't "bully" Ash, they frickin Tortured him! And his mother pretty much endorsed that behavior with her apathy. That is one totally screwed up family and they all deserve each other. Poor Ellie just happened to be the unwilling catalyst/victim.

[@Jamlf]

And just remember, some of them are doctors now. I am sorry, but that level of cruelty doesn't truly change when they got older.

[@TonySamedi]

@@Jamlf It's possible after the first few began it, the later ones were more going along with "well, this must be normal because it's what happened to me" and hopefully later realized "Oh, wait, nope, that was fucked up" Sadly when people are born into something already incredibly fucked, it can take them getting out of it before they realize how fucked it was.

[@dune3001]

For real, those are actual crimes, my god. And his mother just letting it happen, I can see where the worst brothers got it from.

[@wmdkitty]

As if that excuses his behavior. He's the one who chose to pee on OP's stuff, he's not fit to live in a house.

[@benry007]

If only she had known all that when the mother came round to berate her. She could have let the mother really have it.

[@binkao2938]

It really scares me that so many of the brothers are doctors 😬

[@shannond1511]

Figures. White men of a wealthy background are scary with how often they end up in important positions and positions of power regardless of how messed up they are.

[@dorothyfromoz6360]

Doctors and surgeons are high on the list of professions that psychopaths gravitate to, along with politicians, law-enforcement, and CEOs

[@binkao2938]

@@dorothyfromoz6360 Oh trust me, I know 😭 Where is the ADAB movement?

[@juliakuri135]

Many doctors are emotionally disconnected or dysfunctional. It has been part of the training for a very long time. Don’t let emotions into your judgment process. Schools don’t spend time on healthy coping strategies or resources.

[@mzdrizzle]

That’s how I expect a doctor to be.

[@PrincessJax268]

Update! There's a part 6. OP got a robomop. Her basil died. Ted tried to commit self termination. Ash sent a a letter and apologized. There may be a reconciliation between Ted and OP. But even if not she's glad to have him back as a friend.

[@Tazazak]

Holy moly, thanks for the update

[@Shangori]

The more I re-read that update 6, the more I want them to get back together. Hope Ted gets the kick under his butt to realize that they need each other

[@yeahyeahyeah3724]

Ughhh, I just hate Ted for leaving OP. I kinda understand why he did it, but still... I hope they get back together, though, if they still love each other.

[@heidikickhouse-]

​@@yeahyeahyeah3724 She should run. I want her far away from that sick twisted vortex of family dynamics. She should not be parenting a child with anyone from that family. Sure, everyone looks normal...

[@yeahyeahyeah3724]

@@heidikickhouse- but if they still love each other, I think they should be together. Unfortunately, Ted has to go NC or LC at the very least especially with peeman. But if he don't, yeah, OP should run far, far away from that weird ass family.

[@tesla4608]

As Ash both covered his cat in both urine and sperm and the brothers tied him up and urinated on him it's not a big leap to assume they may have sexually assaulted him as well. Funny that the mother wants forgiveness for ash's behaviour because she's forgiven the older brothers. Clearly she forgave the older brothers for torturing Ash.

[@marcusgray2799]

Right. He could have possibly been the abused one out of them all on a consistent basis. This doesn't sound like a one time thing. More like a everyday thing

[@funnyfunnyvalentine7991]

A huge mentally disturbed family. Poor girl married into a Survival Horror game

[@whatisthis1958]

That's the vibe I got. Sibling sexual abuse is really common, apparently one of the most common forms of CSA within the family unit. I know two people who were victims of SSA and it really fucks a person up.

[@davetgit]

100% Ash was sexually abused

[@codyking4006]

Op’s husband asking for a divorce probably hurt her far worse than this entire saga did. He somehow made this whole messed up situation worse. If he truly wanted to stop hurting op, he completely failed

[@benry007]

Yes OP's husband is a complete failure. He broke his wedding vows and abandoned his wife.

[@nb1571]

Literally a failure. No value.

[@theresapaine7224]

Absolutely hate him. He is a monster, probably one of the worst-

[@monicarodrigues985]

I have to disagree, Ted did it to protect her. He knows, that being with her was putting her in danger from his family and from his brother. He knows first hand what they are capable of, look at what they did to their own little brother, a child, when they were already nearly adults and full grown adults (see the age gap). They're monsters and OP says that some are not even regretful of what they did. Yes, he's protecting her and he's sacrificing their relationship because he still loves her very much.

[@nb1571]

@@monicarodrigues985 or he could cut toxic people out of his life? Instead he cut out op. That makes sense.

[@yunuenhagane3495]

I'm sad for Op she didn't deserve to stay alone because in the end Ash won in his intention to scare Op away and for Ted to be alone in the end

[@DaWhiteWolffie]

Yup! He won!

[@xeyesofstardustx]

Can't help but to think that's eactly what Ted deserves.

[@yunuenhagane3495]

@@xeyesofstardustx yeah but he isn't the only affected one, op is hurting way more and probably will have psychological trauma for a while after and will be very difficult for her to have a normal relationship after that

[@sdrocky123]

Yes. Bottom line MIL and Ash won.

[@nintendokingful]

@@sdrocky123 what ash brothers did to him was just torture

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Oh my gosh. I was not prepared for that. Holy crap. Edit to add: as a mother, the husband's mom was right about one thing: she was an absolute failure as a mother. She failed her youngest son so badly he became permanently psychologically damaged.

[@pansprayers]

The mother AND father failed here, let's be honest.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

@@pansprayers yes, you're right. She's the only one alive to see it, but he was as much at fault if not more.

[@nyteshayde1197]

All of that shit she yelled at OP is what she should have yelled at herself while looking in a mirror. The balls on that woman.

[@mariajw4803]

He's so mentally damaged he would prob never fully function in the society. And the damaged trickled down to op that she got so bad that she got ptsd, couldn't support herself financally and needed to move in with her parents. But she will prob be somewhat okey again but with a lot of scars.

[@aleveraj]

You're wrong in one little detail: they didn't fail Ash only... they failed them all!! They are now grown ups with a horrifically twisted sense of what's right and wrong. They were all rooting for Ash in the beggining, the sweep under the rug culture runs through their veins thicker than blood.

[@sadlystuckinreality]

So they weren't bullying Ash. They were straight up torturing him. No wonder he has trouble now. Not excusing his behavior but wow...what awful siblings.

[@platinum_noelle]

Hearing OP saying stuff like "I know I started it" is so sad imo. She didn't start anything, in a way she kinda ended it though. Her only role in this was catalyzing the reveal of the skeletons in this family's rather large closet. This started years and years before she ever came into the picture. And the fact that the mother, rather than trying to change her older sons' behaviors, simply shoved one of her sons at the other and formed him into an emotional crutch. This whole situation is so horrifying.

[@WolvenDragonZ]

Honestly, it was only a matter of time before someone found out. If they had agreed to let him move in, someone would have discovered it in the moving process or worst case scenario, he would have moved in and something worse would have happened

[@nondisclosure3920]

Large closet? They've got a set of shipping containers, I wonder how much bullying the mother did. OP mentioned desperately wanting to please her, I wonder how much of the bullying from others stems from that. Also, I wonder how much of Ash's misogyny stems from not being a girl. Both he and 5 were born after the girls that died. One thing I do know, this family is a very disturbing but effective advertisement for contraception! Poor op

[@es_three232]

In hindsight it might've been for the better Pee boy ended up at OPs house instead of Godforbid the brother with the little girl. I cant even imagine what that maniac would've done. Not saying what happened to her is ok, I wish none of it ever happened but ig that could be seen as maybe a silver lining.

[@synthwolfe8906]

indeed. parentification at it's purest. This is why I say anymore than 4 kids is just too much. heck, for most people more than 2 is too much.

[@PonderingStudent]

That whole family, including Ted, will never forgive OP for being the one that pulled the lid off of that enormous can of worms. The family's "coping mechanism" has clearly always been - tolerate, excuse, ignore, forget, forgive, paper over the cracks, move on and never mention anything ever again. OP was the person who happened, completely unwittingly and unintentionally, start a chain of events that meant the family couldn't do that anymore and had to actually face up to how f**ked up they and their behaviours were, both in the past and today. Its a classic case of shooting the messenger, but people who "cope" in the way that family do almost always blame anyone who forces them to confront the consequences of their behaviour.

[@summergbl8611]

This comment here👏🏻

[@cheriremily9360]

True

[@thethirdtime9168]

This is definitely the truth in regards to the mother, but there's a chance that those of the brothers who regret mistreating Ash will over time get a chance to heal (that they'd previously been neglected) and actually enjoy life. Sometimes you gotta spill all those worms out to move on.

[@cristinaj4274]

@@summergbl8611 I concur 💯👏👏👏

[@mamakitty6549]

This. It's why I think Ted asking for a divorce really was the best thing for her because the resentment that they hold for opening that can will always be there and unless he cut them all off, which it sounds like he wasn't willing to do long term, she was always going to be treated horribly by his family. I feel for her but it honestly is for the best.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

As bad as Ash's actions are he was right about one thing: his mother is utterly weak and useless. The revelation that he blames her came as no surprise to me. The first time it was mentioned that she forgave the brothers for worse already set off the alarm bells, and everything about her that came after it confirmed that she would easily forgive even things that aren't hers to forgive in the first place, all in the name of "fAmiLy" which she considers her life's work with no clue whatsoever what that does or should mean. So, _of course_ she wouldn't blame Ash or herself but OP for breaking up the family that she kinda sorta kept together with spit, chewing gum and lies. Hers is the worst kind of forgiveness: the one that leaves wrongdoings unaddressed and uncorrected so they can fester like untended wounds. That even some of her kids came out of that sort of upbringing as functioning adults borders on a miracle.

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

Yeah. OP didn’t start anything. All of the trauma and abuse was always bubbling under the surface. If OP had never met this family, it would have just manifested some other way, like, God forbid, Ash doing something to the niece. It was never going to be OP’s fault, things in this family were bound to implode one day.

[@danrossell6375]

And it continued into adulthood. Even after realizing she'd been hoodwinked about the therapy she hid that from the rest of the family. She is very much responsible for what finally happened.

[@ladyv5655]

The mother sounds like a narcissist who sees her only value in being the mother of a large family. Appearances are everything and though the OP didn't cause it, it was her refusal to have Ash in her home that ultimately exposed the cracks in her facade of the perfect family.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

@@ladyv5655 Yes, that sounds pretty plausible. We can't know for certain, but that would certainly go a long way towards explaining her motivations.

[@robinwhite4148]

I wonder how truly they are functioning.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

That was an INSANE story. Wow.. I feel bad for OP. She truly lost everything in the end and ended up heartbroken and feeling guilty. I wanted to cry at the end there. I hope she and tortilla go on to live their best lives. Idk what Teds issue is. He failed to protect her from his family and then he abandoned her because he didn't want her to have to deal with his family anymore. He literally chose the family over his wife and I just can't imagine why he would do such a thing. I get that he must feel guilty, but I just could not understand his actions at all. Ted had a lot to deal with obviously. That was one of the least healthy family dynamics I've heard of. That being said though, I don't understand this man. Haha.

[@ZoZoFluffy]

Ikr I was so shocked at the divorce part. He fails OP and then divorces her because he doesnt wanna deal with this anymore, holy hell.

[@virenswife]

He needed time to heal from playing the victim 🙄

[@MaRi-dz4fu]

Same...I nearly teared up in the end ...on the other hand, the breakup is still fresh for the OP so empathising with her I feel sad that the man she still loves decided to part ways (but I agree with her ex husband that IS the best thing for her right now and he's not the be all end all as a partner). But. I don't think he abandoned her. All his life he was there trying to protect his brother. And failed. And his attempts to protect him turned into the nightmare his wife had to endure. So he failed twice. I don't think ex husband is now ready to protect anyone. And i can only imagine how much shame and guilt he feels. Hopefully therapy helps

[@BeadalotBeads]

@@MaRi-dz4fu I agree with you and honestly I think that he probably thinks the only way to protect his wife was to leave her. It wasn't about him trying to play the victim like kitty stewart said. Also I dont think it was that "he didn't want to deal with it anymore." either. I think for his own mental health and because he was still in a way trying to protect the OP he did what he thought was the best thing. If he didn't want to deal with it or needed a break from playing the victim, he would have cut off all contact with the OP. I think this entire family needs help, who knows though maybe in the new year Ted will come to his senses and try to have a relationship once again with the OP but i wouldnt hold out that hope, but there is still a chance.

[@MaRi-dz4fu]

@@BeadalotBeads I actually think the possibility of him trying to get a fresh start with the OP is real, hence he stayed in the same city. I'm not sure if it'll still be relevant to the OP, only time will tell

[@tooth2887]

hey Y'all this story actually has a part 5 now! essentially OP is creating a bit of distance from Ted because she feels it's needed to heal and hasn't heard anything new about anyone else. news of her however, she is still in therapy and her therapist helped her to realize she was too reliant on others and has begun doing things for herself to try and build up her ability to do things on her own and eventually be more independent I believe? not certain about the end goal/if she's going full independent but she is working on being more self-reliant atm. she is also not going for dates or anything romantic for now because she doesn't feel ready for it.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Thanks! And this entire saga can be summed up by the following: Ash was literally *tortured*, by every definition of the word, ranging from “metaphysical” to what military interrogators would consider, by every family member except perhaps Ted while he was growing up. It’s a miracle he didn’t become another Bundy or Gacey or Zodiac. His having a “mere” psychosis almost seems pedestrian.

[@nicksuazo4377]

Honestly, she should focus on herself (therapy, physical training/self defense, hobbies) anything that will help her grow and move on from that PEE SHERMAN SAGA. She should definitely cut contact with Ted because staying with him means staying with the family. YEESH! Hope there's another update to this

[@PaintSplashProductions]

I think Mark did a video on it but I can't remember which videos it's in

[@maddy8328]

​@@GrumpyOldFart2that "torture" does that not excuse what he did

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@maddy8328 Oh certainly not! All I’m saying is that it explains WHY he is the way he is. Knowing the the “why” can conceivably help a therapist (like lots and LOTS of therapy, a TON of therapy)help him with curbing his behavior. That and maybe medication.

[@michelleb2669]

Holy s*it!!!!. I felt that Ash was the villain throughout this whole saga. However, after her description of the bullying, he was 100% the "Cinderella phenomenon" child. The entire family is more responsible; particularly mom and dad, for this situation.

[@Tazazak]

Agree, I feel like you’re the only person in this comment section with those thoughts. Ash was tortured and it drove him to insanity. I hope the brothers and their mother get what’s coming to them.

[@theonlybomber]

That wasn’t bullying that was hate & torture. Who does those things to someone they call brother? Also Ted is a coward! He is so ashamed of his family that he can’t even stand by OP & runs. I hope OP all the best because she never deserved that mess.

[@kyle18934]

ikr, dragging someone behind an atv... the Mexican cartels use that as a way to execute people they particularly don't like... I don't know how that wouldn't be assault with a deadly weapon (vehicle), or even attempted murder

[@toothless3835]

From the sounds of it, he was likely bullied/tortured too, only he stood up for him and his little brother. Only because he stood up, he didn't get the brunt of it because he wasn't an easy target. Brother 5 didn't like him because he stood up for himself and the youngest. also think this is why if you're going to have so many kids, parent them. their parents didn't parent them and let the older ones torture the younger ones. which is horrendous.

[@ineedhoez]

Hell yeah! He is weak and won't break the bonds of codependency. He could have easily set boundaries with his family and moved on with his wife.

[@Rukiah1]

That's not bullying, that's attempted murder. I'm glad OP's away from that train wreck of a family. Even if she's sad now this is for the best. I feel bad that Ash is back in the custody of this psychos. None of what he did was justified but holy crap it's not surprising he's got issues. I don't see any mother could sit by and accept their youngest child being abused like that. He could've died in some of those situations. It's hard to tell who's worse. The homicidal psychopaths who tortured and traumatized their baby brother or the disgusting enabler who neglected her son till he broke. This story is just sad.

[@rhaeasoul8531]

I don’t think it’s a good thing that sounds like magical girl site to me but with the older brother x 5.

[@beingWantable]

I also feel bad that Ash lives with basically the source of his trauma and where this behaviour comes from. No human would have been okay after experiencing that. Although it still doesn't excuse the way he outed it. I also think 10 children with 3 lost is also not a healthy situation if you have to deal with it alone. It's just a long chain of family situations and choices leading up to this moment where everything was thrown off. Although we don't know which brother did what and at what age, hearing some of them have such high regarding jobs and families kinda worries me. I hope especially brother 1 feels regret of it all (probably also had a hard time as the eldest), as he is a doctor!

[@rhaeasoul8531]

@@beingWantable Honestly I could see forgiving and forgetting just standard bullying but Christ bitch they are literally trying to murder the kid. They’re lucky all he did was piss on stuff becuase a lot of serial killers became killers for less.

[@beingWantable]

@@rhaeasoul8531 right! :o

[@rhaeasoul8531]

If I was op id move away and have nothing to do with any of them for my own safety. The fact some of the brothers aren’t even remorseful is far enough that i don’t want to be around when or if the guy moves on from pissing.

[@faciaw771]

The fact that OP is being blamed for starting something she had no control over is truly sad.. You can't control any one's actions or reactions towards you. Husband family is extremely toxic

[@blessedcutie8983]

OP unfortunately was the person who opened the closet door of secrets and got trambled and buried by all of the skeletons. 😳😞

[@Kingdo_RGT]

And she didn't start anything, really. Her post was seen by one brother that share it and the family discover her POV with stuff that didn't add up (no apologies/ it wasn't a one incident, but happen daily for month) and that was it. What was the real start of the shit show was Ted trying to help his bro finding another job. Making him in contact with an ex-co-worker that tell him he wasn't fire, he left. Making Ted going to his bro house to confront him and opening Pandora's box. They are mixing the event.

[@mracula1667]

That was a rollercoaster and an example of how a “boys will be boys” attitude can be completely destructive to everyone involved.

[@hiftu]

First I thought that Ash was a monster. But last update just revealed that the whole family is a gathering of monsters. What the brothers did to Ash is child abuse. It is criminal.

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

...that entire saga was emotionally exhausting. That wasn't even bullying, that's straight up torture. Like... criminal. I'm not at all justifying things, but it makes perfect sense for Ash to turn around and use pee as a weapon to take his power back when it was used as a weapon against him as a child. It isn't surprising at all. I hope everyone continues in therapy and esp the brothers who don't regret literally torturing their siblings get help, too.

[@Keiji555]

Not to mention a severe case of arrested development. The fascination with urine probably had to do with how much torture they performed that involved his nether regions and causing abuse towards his bladder as well, and resentment. I am livid with those brothers. Sure the cat died, which was sad, however, the rest could be resolved with an institution that has the services he needs. When hearing the list, I was shocked, and I think that compared to what they did, what Ash did was harmless. (Relatively speaking.) And they had the gall to go beat him up, and bring Ted along for the ride. Wow, how much they've grown up. And part of me doesn't think any of them have changed. Cause if they had, they would have taken a closer investment into making sure he could get the help he needs, and to drag him to his therapist if necessary. I wonder how the therapists will stay calm whenever they deal with his brothers. I work with kids, and if I found out someone was treating their kid brother like that... Man... I'd tell my Mom to come and get me, and keep me locked up in my room, so that I don't run out, track down the B****** and give them a taste of their own medicine. I'd think that Joseph of the Bible would comment something like "Wow... I'm glad the only thing my brothers did was sell me into slavery..."

[@liviwaslost]

I feel like the parents are the true villains of this.

[@mipayne2056]

@@Keiji555 Yes the brothers are way worse than Ash. What makes children monsters? I'm so perplexed by that.

[@Keiji555]

@@mipayne2056 Yeah. I'd actually keep my distance from them. And limit my children interacting with them. They played around with his bodily functions, and played around with his lower torso. In a way, they were worse than Ash. His brothers essentially molested him. (Forced diapering, that's playing with his junk without his permission.) No wonder he got a weird sexual deviant behaviour. He learnt it from the best.

[@ohnooffwego]

I despise OP's husband in this story. To abandon his wife after she was so thoroughly victimized by his family... it's just peak betrayal. What a pathetic little man.

[@Jamlf]

What makes me even more pissed is that he truly didn't abandon her. He keeps in regular contact with her. Which I find even worse because of the reason he left her. She is still in the loop of the family drama without still being married.

[@amyill9280]

Same. What a despicable person.

[@awaasproductions]

Yeah if he “loved her” he would have been willing to care for her needs and his. It’s tough I get it to juggle your needs and someone else’s but that’s what you do in a relationship. Not run

[@MaRi-dz4fu]

Idk I guess most people will disagree with me, but I find it hard to hate the guy. I sympathize. He's obviously been way more caring than anyone else to his younger brother, then he actually attempted to stand up for his wife. And failed on every level. He's dead inside now, just like OP said herself. Him staying with her now would make healing harder for them both and bring them both down, I'm afraid. It's not pathetic to hit the rock bottom and face the fact. If he decided to focus on his own healing it's for the best. Because I am absolutely certain OP actually has much more resources and a better support system to heal on her own than her ex will EVER have

[@jamesn0va]

This. What reason does he have for leaving her? This story is not over

[@Oicurmtoyoy]

The whole "you have to forgive family" attitude is probably why the bullying occurred. She did nothing, expecting the victims (I doubt Ash was the only one, but he probably had it the worst, being the youngest) to just forgive like she would. That's also likely the reason some of them felt no remorse. All of that forgiveness has led to them not caring about the effect their actions have on other people. Obviously Ash is in the wrong, but with a family like that, it's no big shock.

[@alyonaf1054]

It is not forgiveness, it's indifference and neglect. Basically their mother was abusing them through their siblings, to be frank. That's what it is.

[@amyyaku5022]

Despite all Ash did, he's just the personified quote of "monsters aren't born, they're created". Honestly wished Ash messed up the brothers who mistreated him and his mom instead of Ted and OP. Also, sucks that Ted and OP got divorced 😔

[@gladstone145]

I thought Ash was a psychopath,but how his brothers treated him I can see why, and his mother letting it happen is unforgivable

[@oldyellow505]

They are the psycopaths that created the sociopathy of Ash. it´s really sad that they made all of that and not felt guilty hence why they are psycopaths or maybe just 1 was and made all of them a little crazy.

[@funnyfunnyvalentine7991]

Based on him icing the cat, I think they grape(d) him as a kid. A whole family of psychos. She walked into a Survival Horror game. Evil Within

[@BNezzy]

stuff like this happening to Ash growing up is part of the reason why psychopaths develop deeper.

[@elleswiger9329]

Ted sucks. He divorced her and yet keeps in touch with her like a friend? Not the kind of friend I'd ever want. He could have went through therapy as a team ..made her his #1. But nope... eventually she will start to hate him for that

[@benry007]

Yes, Tes sucks. Broke his wedding vows to protect himself, so that he could pretend none of it happened.

[@Cookie25559]

Yea I feel like them staying in contact makes it so much worse for OP. And the fact red still keeps her at arms length feels selfish on him cause I COMPLETELY understand the heartbreak she’s going through and I would never suggest someone going through that to stay buddies with their ex

[@sweetambitions2381]

At this point she hasn’t wisened up and ditched him completely so I doubt that will happen unless years pass by and she’s occupied with new stuff or something that causes more permanent tangible harm to herself happens.

[@tishjanuary7379]

Exactly selfish & spineless.

[@benry007]

@Cloud Noche I kind of can. He is married which means he made vows to stick around in hard times. People have a very low opinion of marraige but personally if there is no abuse involved I think people should stay together and work things out. They didn't even try marraige counselling.

[@Rose_Bride]

I feel like Ted was a *spineless, trash* of a spouse. I agree with the therapist who said that Ted divorced OP to protect _himself,_ yet doesn't even have the decency to _at least_ be honest about it. And from the way OP describes things, he has ALWAYS been selfish. I feel like rather than shield OP from those members of his family who *hate* her (specifically mom and those particular brothers besides Ash whom OP has said don't like her) Ted for whatever reason decided OP just wasn't worth the effort. This isn't surprising as he has always placed his family before her, even when they _attacked_ and _hurt_ her. OP doesn't see it now, but this guy actually did her a HUGE favor. She would never have had the courage to leave on her own, and OP _deserves_ to have someone love her completely; someone who will be 100% in her corner, who will FIGHT FOR her and PROTECT her. Someone who actually _cares_ about her and wants the *BEST* for her... *NOT* someone who will tell her to _"just deal with it"_ because _"that's just how they are."_ 🙄 I hope OP stays safe and finds happiness in her future. ❤️

[@ItachiUchiha-sh6of]

To be fair Ted was also a victim of an insanely abusive family. What seems like obvious or normal thing to us may not register in the same way. It makes perfect sense to me why Ted did a lot of what he did regarding ash and his family. Not saying what he did was right but I understand. I think he made bad choices and didnt protect OP but I dont think he a bad person. Either way whatever his reasoning I think he did op a favor. They had problems before the main drama even happened. It would have taken a miracle for that marriage to stay together after that.

[@ciobalina7445]

@@ItachiUchiha-sh6of I agree with what this person says. I think what OP wrote is also true, that he didn't see their relationship as a "them", meaning a team, but rather as a him thing. Ted did not love her, not truly; he stayed married while it was convenient to him and always put his family above her, even when his family hurt her. He expected that she should go along with their stupidity regardless of how bad it was because he was too comfortable to rock the boat. I am not surprised he divorced her, although it's a lie he did it for her; what I was surprised was that OP didn't seriously consider separating from him after the peeing incident. That was a major red flag and Ted didn't handle it properly. I would have thought about it more before marrying him and would have postponed the marriage. To me it seems OP was going through some form of puppy-love, where she would have accepted any bad treatment from Ted and his family, including him abusing her, whereas for Ted the marriage was simply convenient and nothing else. He actually didn't make any sacrifices for her and didn't stand up for her at any moment. He is selfish and divorced her now because again, he doesn't want to rock the boat with his family, but he lied to her that he is doing this for her because it saves his image. I would have simply gone NC, moved somewhere totally new. He has no spine. He doesn't realize that they are trouble forever and there are more serious issues to come. As people age, their mental issues get worse, not better. He is under the false impression that after he divorces her, this will go away on its own because that's what his mother is telling him, that OP is to blame. He will marry another woman and bring her into that mess fully expecting her to not react and be weak like him so as to avoid conflict, but there will be more problems to come. The best thing for him is to go NC, but he is not strong enough to do that. Only one brother took this road and he is the one that truly is strong enough and will do ok in life.

[@ItachiUchiha-sh6of]

@@ciobalina7445 You can think that if you want. Neither of us have any way of really knowing if he really loved her or his current standing with his family. But my main points were that he was also a victim of an extremely abusive family, I'm not surprised that Ted did the things he did and its honestly the most likely outcome due to how he was raised, OP shouldn't have married him in the first place given the red flags in the begining (no I'm not blaming her for what happened after), did he divorce her for selfish reasons? Probably. But either way its for the best because it doesn't seem like OP would have done it. It does seem like he is at least attempting to better himself by going to therapy which isn't an overnight fix but its a good step. And it seemed like he did feel genuine remorse for his misdeeds. I don't think ted is a bad person, he just made some bad choices and wasn't a good husband. He didnt do the work needed to "fix" himself before getting married. I think its possible that he might be able to truly better himself, I could be wrong but maybe.

[@southernbelle6200]

I don't know if I could or would ever let a man ever get close enough to me to want to get married again. I have been happily divorced for almost 40 years after escaping a physically abusive husband

[@patsysingleton217]

As soon as she starts dating he will want back in the picture

[@NovaGirl8]

My overall take in this story, Ted's parents were the ultimate villains in this saga. They created 8 monsters, one good kid and one broken child. The monsters are grown up now, some reformed some didn't but the damage can no longer be undone. The good kid finds out what a shitshow of a family he truly had. And poor Ash, the broken child with no one to turn to for help and probably had no idea how to cry out for help so he clung to the only person who he felt safe with. He wasn't born a monster, his parents and 8 older brothers made him into what he is today.

[@miriam9419]

I think Ash is a monster as well. Yes he had a bad life. I think that is a reason not an excuse. Think about what he did to his niece and sister in law.

[@honeypot8524]

@@miriam9419 he had a picture of his niece and took a piss on some clothes, his "brother s" put him through sadistic and criminal torture day in and day out , they could have seriously killed him

[@duckeh1952]

Also in posts b#5 was the biggest enemy of Ash and he is in charge of Ash's treatment and minion to mom. Seriously? Oh yes, let's give the worst of brother power over him and his treatment.

[@miriam9419]

@@honeypot8524 Yes, I think they are all bad

[@impishrebel5969]

@@honeypot8524 Did you miss the part where he tortured a small animal to death? The entire lot of family are psychopaths. The abuse didn't make him into a psychopath, he already was one, what it did was make him unstable and dangerous. I'm not excusing the brothers but your comment really reeks of "they're worse monsters than he is" and like you're trying to excuse Ash because he "only did X thing and his brothers did Y thing that is supposedly worse." And you shouldn't. When small animals are being tortured, and bodily fluids are being used like that, that's serial killer level territory. Ash very well could have escalated to killing Sunny(the cat) outright and then moved on to Ellie because she was the "evil thing that took his one good brother away", then women in general. Maybe you should read the Hannibal Lecter books or do some research on anti-social personality disorder and psychology.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Mom is the center of in all the mess, she may seem mild mannered, but she is the catalyst. She knew and watched it all and covered it all up.

[@knulllord654]

She ain't the catalyst. She the whole reason this shit happened.

[@luizalouyoga]

What about dad?

[@knulllord654]

@@luizalouyoga he dead

[@thedepressedfatguy4070]

​@@knulllord654 While I do agree with you. I kind of put the same amount of blame on the brothers too. They tortured him. I'm all for sibling rivalry And Teasing each other. But that's not what they did

[@knulllord654]

@@thedepressedfatguy4070 Same

[@RockLikeAStone]

The guilt Ted feels sense unreasonable… I really think there are a lot of skeletons in the closet regarding the abuse of Ash. I honestly think there is a history of SA that the family is trying to hide

[@kerrylynn7139]

That was exactly what I was expecting to come out.

[@Ax-xo4ux]

Me too- I was like- one of the big things in kids who’ve gone through sexual abuse is peeing everywhere. I’m wondering if that’s untreated and uncaught it can follow into adulthood. Having an abusive father also leaves a huge impression on sons because that’s their first role model on how they treat others

[@ineedhoez]

Oh hell yeah. Sounds like daddy or mommy was diddling all the boys. They all seemed to have acted out in major ways!

[@solaydbak]

Especially with the deaths of the three sisters… large families have the biggest secrets.

[@colliness]

Im sorry, but Ted is a coward. His family, HIS FAMILY, cause so much grief to OP. Instead of Ted being there for OP and making sure she is ok. THIS MF DECIDES TO DIVORCE HER BECAUSE IT IS TOO HARD FOR HIM? OP needed his support...he didn't do anything wrong and he booked. OP is better off without him.

[@tinywaterdrinker5136]

Ted said that not having consequences to their actions gave them a twisted sense of reality. Good to know his sister DYING wasnt a consequence. Jesus and thats not even the most fucked up thing this uglyhearted excuse for a man has said or done. -Forced his wife around the most unstable and dangerous man out of his family of unstable and dangerous men -Divorcing her because she and his niece were targeted by his perverted brother -Lying in the divorce by saying he's divorcing her bc he just cares so much for her -Still talking to her instead of just cutting things off Yeah he sure sounds like a great guy.

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

I kinda wonder if ted didn't commit some kind of incest on ash.... Like emotional or ya know... Because ash's reaction towards ted and op are that of attraction seemingly. Marking his territory C×mming on pictures of ted in wedding photos Wanting to live with Ted specifically Claiming ted as his Destroying pictures that ted and op are getting married in Clinging to ted in everyway Ted seemingly justifying this attraction based behaviors repeatedly even justifying them.. until it became a really bad life threatening thing.... It seemed like ted fed into ashes attraction like behaviors.

[@marahbaker8615]

@@littlestrawberryfaery I was thinking the same thing. The whole time I was just thinking Ash sounded like a crazy jealous ex. Also I know Ash claimed the pics with um..... man gravy on them, was about getting back at that brother but it just seems like pedophile behavior to me......

[@DarkHeartTheEmo]

What are you talking about? Ted never met the sisters, only one of them and he wasn't the one that kill her, so on that he os cleary, also he didn't divorce because of her niece, B#1 is taking care of that, is not Ted responsibility he saw what happen and warning his brother, yeah the reason for divorce was bs but you're forgetting one thing, his emotional state is completely, for lack of better word, fucked so that again wasn't much is fault all this is Ash fault, as for not contacto with the OP, well the OP doesn't want that either, she never said that she never what to see him again, she say that a out the peeman, but Ted she still kind of good terms with him. This all peeman fault.

[@sixbones.infamy9107]

@@littlestrawberryfaery didnt op mention that all began because the other brothers alienated him from any girls who were interested, so ALL he had was Ted. And given how fucked up their family already is, it wouldnt be a stretch to assume that led to Ash forming some type of attraction

[@fscorpion678]

@@littlestrawberryfaery dawg???????????? what’s wrong with you

[@jessicarichards6796]

Holy cow! That woman went through a hell of a time. I hope she’s happier right now and has some peace. But the Brother Ash?! Wow. From his behavior with the pictures, torturing his cat to death, the abuse he received as a child, and his hatred of women, it was like reading the personal history file of a serial killer. It almost always starts with the person being an abused youth. This story was wild, and everyone is lucky that ash, so far at least, had never physically harmed another human. But his poor cat. I feel so bad for her. I’m gonna have to listen again just in case I missed something. It’s so much to take in.

[@queenluciefer]

Has never physically harmed another human *as far as they know.* That's what scares me tbh. Because a lot of serial killers are very good at hiding their victims for a long long time. Hopefully he hasn't physically hurt anyone, but there were so many skeletons in the closet that were uncovered, I wouldn't be surprised if there were a couple more still hiding in there.

[@minecraftmum3436]

I honestly think if it had been left much longer it would have escalated. It's a scary thought. I hope the brothers accept their part in this whole mess and seek therapy. They ALL need it badly

[@damien678]

I'm only 16 minutes in and not ok, gods help me

[@queenluciefer]

@@damien678 it just gets worse and worse, buddy 😭

[@nixxyhasthoughts]

The mother has so much to answer for. Sounds like she shouldn’t have had one kid let alone into the double digits. And then for her to unleash on OP…I find it hard to muscle up empathy for the mum.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Grown ass adults do not pee on other people's belongings unless they're not in their right mind. I think I'd leave this toxic family. What is said is terrible, but what's unsaid is even worse

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Seriously, this would be a cut loose and run situation. Me and my husband and cat would be OUT OF THERE. I had to flee a toxic family too. It's hard but it's better than living in fear that your crazy pee pee bandit brother in law might kill you in your sleep..

[@DarrenThompson]

Anyone with a cat knows how musky it smells and diapers are sharper - I can't believe I am sounding like an expert! )))) - but there is no way in hell anyone can get them mixed up...

[@WhitneyDahlin]

To me the worst part of the story is the husband's behavior. He forced her to interact with p-boy and even have p-boy in their wedding when he knew she wasn't comfortable with it and was just a pushover. And then after the discovery of how crazy Ash actually was when she was at her absolute lowest and developed literal PTSD because of HIS family he decides to abandon her and divorce her. I'm almost 100% sure the reason is because he and Ash have a super unhealthy attachment going both ways. And he knew if he stayed with his wife he would never be able to contact p-boy or his mother again and he would rather have p-boy and Mommy than his wife. He's just trying to frame it as oh it's for your own good blah blah blah. No. OP even told him to his face this is going to make her worse and the therapist agrees he doesn't really believe it's what's best for her. There is some weird emotional in ce st going on in that family. The husband is the worst person in this story because he isn't even mentally ill. OP is just too blinded by the love she had / has for him to see how much of an absolute selfish monster he is. No good person would behave like he did. The part that makes me the angriest is him trying to frame it as oh he's doing it for her own good. No she even told you that isn't what's best for her, and her therapist agrees that isn't why he's actually doing it. He's doing it because he would rather be with p-boy but he also doesn't want to be the bad guy. I hope he knows in his heart he's a terrible person. He and p-boy deserve each other. Does he really think p-boy Ash isn't going to drive away any other person he gets into a relationship with? And of course mommy is too because Mommy is going to back her favorite little p-boy. OP truly is much better off without him and I hope she can heal and move on with her life. She deserves so much better

[@pippo17173]

Well we know its because he lack a father figure and took on the brother that Op was married too to be his new dad and saw her as a threat.

[@TiffWaffles]

@@pippo17173 Uh... Yeah... No. This is not normal behaviour even for somebody that didn't have a parent figure.

[@patriciabrown3326]

What scares me in this post is that all the brothers were intelligent men, 9 of them went to university and they had jobs in the medical field, education, and engineering to name a few. It scares me that they could bully the youngest so badly that it affected his mental health. Once a bully, always a bully. I truly hope, the children of brothers 1-8 are not being bullied. Also - I’m 99.9% certain that MIL had a very big role in the divorce given what she said to OP. Her ex- husband just isn’t telling her.

[@Callimo]

Lots of people with antisocial tendencies tend to still be pretty intelligent (and since there are so many different types of intelligence, it makes sense that they would be successful in some sense). They all need therapy to unpack their toxic ideas of family

[@Amanda-vx1ut]

Intelligence has nothing to do with people's personality or demeanour. People of any intelligence or profession can be sadistic. That's like saying only the working class / uneducated are capable of such hideous actions

[@NottyAries]

And the brother that hated Ted for trying to protect Ash. Wth is that about?

[@manons6984]

I love how OP is always mentioning all pets as family members. 😊❤️

[@moniquebell8191]

Including the fish. What a wonderful woman

[@Tyanna01]

Personally, I'm disappointed and angry with Ted. It sounds to me like he chose his family over his wife, and divorced her so he wouldn't have to keep them separate. I don't think his guilt is over subjecting OP to all this, but b/c in the end he chose his family over her. OP really should cut ties with him fully, make a clean break and move on from the absolute shit show that is her former in-laws. The MIL is a real piece of work, to blame this slow motion train wreck of a family crisis on OP. But I guess, she needed to blame someone other than herself. I hope OP is able to pick herself up from this, dust herself off, and move on with her head held high. She didn't fuck up this family, she was just the tiny crack that all the pent up anger and frustration needed to explode out into the open. And honestly it's better that it's out in the open. This needed to come out so that Ash could get the help he so desperately needed, and so that this family could face the reality of their abuse.

[@xplayfan21]

This I thought Ted was gonna be the good guy in all this but no just like the rest of his family except for set for brother 1's daughters and brother 6 he's just as much as a jerk

[@sinisterxburn]

@@xplayfan21 the man has only blow come to realise what a messed family he has. As stated by op he was doing IC. He's not in any condition to be with op. It's not healthy for either party to have one person constantly wracked with guilt over the situation. Op has experienced this in the periphery of sorts and look how that has messed her up. She shouldn't even pee and handle the audio. Ted has grown up with these weirdos, he can't be called a coward for coming up short and needing to deal with these issues.

[@steph0711]

@@sinisterxburn I'm glad at least someone understands that it was best he divorced her. As you're saying: he's in no position to be with her as he's a lot of guilt and past stuff to work through and if anything (even though it doesn't feel that way) he did them both a favor. At least they are still friends and can still talk to each other, but they both need to work through their trauma and issues and on themselves before they can be with someone else again.

[@puli_dreadhead]

Why do people think that the OP deserved it, she moved in and was treated like this. This man, that has no prior issues with holding his bladder is intentionally urinating on things. It shouldn’t have happened a second time. They should cut contact with anyone that thought it was harmless because “it’s just pee.” I knew someone from my mom’s past that has bladder issues and malfunction happened when he was asleep.

[@mellodees3663]

Probably incels, misogynists, and effed up 14 year olds.

[@krishaunafisher]

usually trolls. they just want to comment something edgy for attention and potential karma

[@pansprayers]

Because people like to think it's that easy. Apparently, humans are expected to just be as dimensional as they appear on paper, aren't allowed to be prone to confusion, and expected to know what to do instantly when a situation presents itself. That goes double when Redditers and KZbinrs enter situations that involve mental illness situations (particularly Cluster B's) that they have zero idea what they're talking about, and the impact they have on the greater family circle. Half of the shamers wouldn't last a week in the situations that they think they have all the answers to.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@pansprayers Also incredibly sheltered folks who've never had to deal with trauma or mental illness. I've got a laundry list of mental illnesses and full-blown disabilities. I know what it's like to blame yourself for things outside your control. I know what it's like to be panicked and uncertain, even in relatively normal situations. I've *seen* what PTSD does to people. I watched my paternal grandma slip further into dementia. I've been sexually harassed and handled it *badly.* I've learned a lot about myself and how humans work. OP and at least some of the wives (and that poor 14-year-old girl) are the *only* innocent humans in this whole mess.

[@damien678]

misogyny, victim blaming, "boys will be boys"; take your pick

[@biancajamison3989]

I don't believe Ted divorced her because he felt bad. I believe he did it because he chose his family over her. I'll bet anything the mother and brother #5 was like do it for Ash and he did. So he sacrificed his wife for his brother

[@ItachiUchiha-sh6of]

Whatever the reason it was probably for the best. There relationship had issues event before this mess. But this amount of family trauma is insane. To me Op should probably not even have married him.

[@telamere2043]

Yep. Though she's definitely better off. Ash is going to get out one day.

[@shallysboldman9843]

I believe he picked himself over her. He used guilt as an excuse.

[@xplayfan21]

What are the best for the OP or not which I think it is Ted's still a jerk

[@AhamkaraMommy]

This whole story just reminded me of a sentence I heard once. "Do you want to know how to create a disturbed personality? Constant criticism, and lack of affection." Definitely seems like it was the case here, and nobody seems to be saying it so I will: I hope one day Ash gets to feel what it's like to be normal and happy too.

[@Tazazak]

And torture. Man, Ash went through it. That family is vile.

[@colbysmith2199]

I feel the worst for Ash tbh sounds like his brothers messed him up and his parents did nothing but create more children they didn't know how to properly take care of.

[@ameixsell]

Yea, dude was abused his whole childhood by nearly his whole family. This isn't "bullying" this goes so far beyond that.

[@josh4601]

Jerking off onto a picture of your brothers daughter and potentially traumatising a child makes you no longer a human. He deserves no pity, only execution.

[@ameixsell]

@josh4601 I mean it's gross for sure. He definitely needs to be in a psyche facility. But so does EVERY SINGLE MALE in this family. They are all psychopaths.

[@marcusgray2799]

​@ameixsell yes it does. He like the slave in the family

[@clairebear-96]

Um what he also had pictures of a 14 YEAR OLD with this “man juice” apparently? Yes hello 911 FBI it’s urgent

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Agreed. He is a danger to basically every person around him, especially the women and children... and cats.. So horrible. He obviously has a massive and disgusting control issue and those things always escalate.. I hate it.

[@kayemckeeth2301]

Ted is ultimately selfish for leaving. Honestly, I think he chose his family over OP, and is pretending to still be OPs friend. How disgusting.

[@Heydodoakskdkdjf]

I got the same vibe too. He's just a coward.

[@TheSciFiDogLady]

Totally! They could have moved to a completely different city, but he chose his job and his family over her, and makes her responsible, because "she needs protection" from a bunch of loonies.

[@Jxfjfjbfkv]

Same I’m furious for OP. All this crap happened to HER, and her husband abandons her but claims it for her. He’s pathetic.

[@johnbessemer3777]

While I agree with this assessment, OP isn't without guilt. He's a coward, and can't even be man enough to give her a real reason for divorce. She's no sain, though. After all, she aired all his families dirty laundry on the internet, for the world to see. And yes, I chose to use the term dirty laundry, on purpose.

[@raellskys4083]

@@johnbessemer3777 yea but there weren't any real names aired, its nobody else's fault if they have done things that hey as a family are embarrassed about. So I guess th only solution is for 'Ted' to stay single for life so his brother doesn't go ape-shit psycho pis boy? Pathetic!!

[@bricksloth6920]

Just....wow. It's unfortunate OP is still so attached to Ted, because she's deserving of so much more. Her and Tortilla.

[@tieardragon4919]

I was like “is this the pee gate saga?” And as soon as you said it was the diary style I was like “yup! This is the one.”

[@MarkNarrations]

Absolutely exhausted after reading that one, what a rollercoaster!

[@Brayan-cx2tx]

Thers's a 5th update. 2 years have passed since accident or divorce. Ted tried to commit suicide. He also went no contact with almost all his family members after the divorce. Ash wrote a letter to OP apologizing. OP explains why Ted tried to commit suicide. Ted is doing better and OP is still friends with him and still loves him.

[@carolynv8979]

Gosh No! that’s what I was afraid of when we got to the part where he asked for a divorce! It sounded like depression talking and I know a lot of people called his reasoning irrational and selfish, but depression IS irrational. I think that Ted saw himself as a protector. In stage two he seemed really grieved that he didn’t protect op better. Then it came out that she was targeted BECAUSE of him, the family implied that Ash spiraled because TED wasn’t there for him. We learn that Ash was dependent on Ted because Ted stood up for him and tried to protect him when they were children, but then Ted learned of all the ways Ash was hurt that he never even knew about while it was happening. While all this goes on Ted watches his mother do and say horrific things in the name of “protecting” her family. Ted likely feels tainted and like he’s worse than a failure at the most important thing; protecting his loved ones. He has no efficacy left. If you genuinely don’t believe you’re capable something it’s impossible to motivate yourself to keep trying. If that task is loving/supporting/protecting someone… I’m glad he’s okay. Tomorrow I’ll go find update 5 and see all the ways I was off-base.

[@sw7833]

It's made up!

[@AJ-qe5xj]

It drives me nuts when “friends, family and strangers” get angry and upset at someone not taking someone else into their home their not comfortable with. If it’s not that big of a deal and they should just take them in then why don’t they do pit? Why can’t they play the host instead of you. I’m sure then there would be a long list of reasons (excuses) why. Don’t pressure others do do things you don’t even want to do!

[@ginathecookie]

Seriously.. even when I was nearly homeless I wasnt mad that people couldn't take me there just not always a lot of space and time and energy, its a thing, happens to everyone

[@jessicadias5014]

Why do I always return to this hellish subreddit? It's literally destroyed my hope for a marriage that doesn't end in heartbreak

[@RedCeltay]

They don't post stories like that here. It would be a happy ever after reddit. Here's one for you, that's completely true. I had a boss decades ago. I was a widow with 2 kids. The oldest, my daughter was living with me. And often was hanging around my job all the time. We lost contact with my boss for years. Ran into him when.. GET THIS. I was 37, he was 27, my daughter was 18. She and I used to help him with his 3 infant sons when his ex would just dump them at our job and leave. They decided to watch a sports game together. And catch up on old times. She never came home. He was worried about how I'd feel over their age difference and him being my ex boss. I told him one day when they first wer together. "Hey boss, you take the trash out now". As for age difference it didn't bother me, my best friend was married to man 10 years younger than her. (they also are still together. ) 😃 My daughter and him went thru many ups and downs, added 2 more kids to the family. Now I'm at 5 g kids and expecting my second great grand kid. The youngest g son is finishing school in a few years. I live in same town. I almost died, they took me in took care of me till I was healed as much I will ever be. ( my dog is now a service dog) I live in a rv park that my 2nd oldest gson also lives in with his fiancee. They are planing/ deciding on weather rent/ sell their house when the youngest graduates and flies the nest. Then they want to live in a rv themselves and one day travel around the country. P.S. I'm still a widow over 25 years you might say that's the saddest part of this story is that I never fell in love again. I hope it cheers you up to know there are families that do make it thru very hard and bad times. ( yes some really bad things hit.. some things others did we won't mention) them but they worked it thru and are still deeply in love.

[@sonialinsey8083]

That’s because marriage isn’t an event, it’s a constant project. You must bond, work on relationship, manage your feelings and reactions and contribute more or less equally if physically possible. This becomes more complicated if/when kids enter the picture. Most people are not capable of that much work, especially these days when the most minor of efforts is too much for most people. Keep this in mind if you ever want to get married and make sure your partner is also up to the task.

[@Ninsidhe]

Commenters keep totally blaming THE MOTHER but *utterly* fail to mention the *abusive* father and husband. The mother was probably copping a metric ton of abuse herself- did both parents really not believe in contraception (religion would explain that) or was it dad’s idea with mum having no say? You’re all doing the SAME PATRIARCHAL CRAP as the FAMILY engaged in and it’s both truly ugly and truly 1950’s- or should I say 1750’s?

[@ohgodwhy3401]

It’s so sad that op feels like she has to blame herself for the whole situation, when in reality this fully grown man (who’s even older than her) couldn’t handle his own emotions and hurt/highly put others at risk because he didn’t have full control of his own relationships around him. Even if he suffered trauma, it doesn’t mean he should or has an excuse to inflict it on others, imagine having that much hatred to take it out on a 14 year old child and a helpless animal, he should’ve gotten help dealing with his emotions and his mother shouldn’t have been to enabling as it’s opened a path to far more abuse, just because you’re hurt doesn’t mean you should hurt others around you. It’s so sad and sickening that op feels like it’s her fault just because he can’t control himself.

[@Jamlf]

I agree with you about Ash being held accountable but his whole family, even Ted, failed him. The level or cruelty that the family showed towards Ash is at a level that the brothers should face blow back. Hell, the OP probably didn't even hear the worse of it. So, yes Ash should face the responsibility for his actions and so shouldn't his brothers.

[@naominagler7290]

@@Jamlf as well as the mother. That mother is a horrible mother. I heard something once, "a mother is God in the eyes of a child." And she failed him so bad for his whole childhood and life.

[@drumsalive]

I no op ain’t to blame at all

[@Jamlf]

@@naominagler7290 The quote originally is from William Thackeray or better known from the movie The Crow or Silent Hill.

[@ItachiUchiha-sh6of]

Like you said his actions arnt excusable and he should be punished and get help. But even a blind man could have seen this coming. He was legit tortured for years, had a negligent mother, abusive father, and probably mental issues as well. He couldn't control himself because he was probably never even shown how. That doesn't just go away when you become an adult. You don't normally just learn to handle decades of abuse since you were a child on your own. He needed help and the entire family knew but did nothing. His family caused this and in my opinion are responsible for how he ended up.

[@anya0410]

The fact that MIL yelled Ellie for being barren is really interesting, considering what happened to MIL daughters/Ted's sisters...

[@virtualatheist]

"I was the one who started it." No. No you were not. You were the tip of the iceberg that brought the whole issue into view.

[@AntisocialclubSJ]

OP deserves so much better. I’m honestly heartbroken for her. I don’t even know if Ted staying would be good for her especially with that deeply dysfunctional family. Poor thing. Best wishes to OP.

[@keplersdream901]

Wow, what an episode. I'm with you, Mark -- assuming that this is a true story, this entire family is screwed up. 12-13 children and none of them -- Ted included -- are healthy. Inasmuch as OP thinks she's lost, she and Tortilla are actually very, very lucky. At least one or two of the brothers and PeeMan have clear ASPD/sociopathy, so it runs in the family. PeeMan and Bro#5 were escalating, so someone would have been the inevitable victim of a violent and/or financial crime, most likely OP. The mother has some sort of personality disorder/sociopathy, as I CANNOT believe that she "didn't know." My question, though, is about the father -- was he an instigator? As for Ted, he didn't dump OP because he felt bad; rather, he dumped her for exposing his toxic family. In other words, he blames her for the whole world knowing what assholes they are. I'm sure his mother and family dynamic also played into it, i.e., "If you dump OP, then you can pretend none of this happened." I would encourage OP to stop playing nice with him and cut all ties. He's not safe, and I'm not convinced that he isn't manipulating her on some level. Frankly, I find their "meetups" bizarre and a lot of what OP says at the end sounds more like him, TBH. If his melodramatic speech about "protecting her from them" is true, then why is he still talking to her? Why is he living his life more or less the same as before minus OP? Yeah, OP, I hope you really re-think this guy because he's NOT doing this out of love. Quite the contrary, this was retaliation. I'd move away, start fresh, and leave Ted to his horrible family.

[@pansprayers]

This is why I constantly reiterate that Cluster B Personality Disorders are WAY above Reddit's pay grade.

[@logirl1975]

I think you are right on the money in regards to Ted.

[@scottkirby5016]

I think Ted is probably ambivalent (in the having strong feelings in both directions leading to a confused muddle way not the "meh, don't care" way) and having any of them close is sending him into a guilt/shame/wtf spiral. He didn't move back west to be with more of his family, he didn't cut contact with them or OP/Ex-wife. He didn't really pick a side or seem to want to be around any of it. I wouldn't be surprised if those feelings of internal conflict had a lot to do with the divorce. Or shame (seeing her exposed the messed up ness of his family not just to the world but to himself as well), the project that made up a big part of his life (protecting his little brother from torture) was a failure and he probably rightfully felt a failure to protect his wife as well. So I could see lots of shame and shattered self image. but think she is better off far far away from that shitshow and Ted eventually gave her that.

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

I think this story just shows how important mental health is and how it isn't just a one person problem this had such a ripple effect and hurt so many people

[@stoneman8387]

With all the torture, real torture Ash has experienced at the hands of his brothers, parents who don't want to know about it or do anything about it, and only one brother (Ted) to stand by him, it's a wonder he only pees on things. All the brothers who tortured him deserve a proper end. Just the idea of his brothers mistreating him like that, when they were supposed to be looking out for him. Such helplessness. The parents don't react at all.

[@marcusgray2799]

What time stamp did they explain what they did to him

[@James-sq4sc]

That poor cat :( this is the most upsetting part of it to me. Ash is a lost cause and dangerous at this point. Also, as cruel as it sounds, thank god this family didn’t raise daughters. They would have likely been abused severely growing up

[@sylpherstorm]

They did :( all three DIED

[@elexisburton]

I remember when the story first came out. I was so grossed out. I never would have thought it would have turned into this. Everything just torn apart from a deep hate develop in a childhood where one was raised on torture. Of course it is the mom’s fault. All of it is. And she leaves the blame on others. A true narcissistic parent. I don’t see how that family would ever truly recover.

[@alyonaf1054]

Don't forget the father.

[@Ninsidhe]

@@alyonaf1054 Thanks for that- the rampant misogyny, internal and external, in these comments is both disheartening and disgusting.

[@Tazazak]

@@NinsidheI don’t know if it’s necessarily intentional by everyone. The father was barely mentioned in the entire hour long video, and I’ve seen at least a few commenters who thought the father died while they were still kids. A lot more focus and detail was given about the mother, including what she’s still doing to op, so it makes sense that a lot of the commenters are focusing on her.

[@annyphoenix2099]

Mark, this is such a Christmas present! I'm running around, finishing decorations, presents, baking, entertaining the baby, and your voice in an hour long video just makes it all 99% less stressful! Thank you and Very Merry!

[@proudarmedreadytobugaloode6295]

Decorations.

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

I totally agree with this!! Mark's videos are some of my favorite parts of the day. (:

[@ev342]

I know, right!! I’m cuddling my pup while playing the sims and this is just an amazing way to chill out after a stressful Christmas shopping week!

[@daryatislenko4651]

Same, honestly.

[@amandalewis5394]

He definitely has an amazing voice. I listen to his videos every night on my way home from work and when I go to sleep ❤️

[@huh4963]

I feel empathy/pity for Ash, HOWEVER, I’d still be rightfully pissed. Feeling that way does not excuse what he did-he needs help. I would just cut everyone off except for the people I actually like but other than that, I hope Op is doing well

[@JohnnyDominion]

So you're pissed 💧🙃eh?

[@vampiredaddy2096]

@@JohnnyDominion 💀💀

[@Lulu-ut9pv]

Sounds like mum had many children to fight against each other her own amusement, scaring and isolating them in the process She's the main villain

[@wickeddanish5814]

just went on her profile .. she thanked mark for the way he read the story and gives an update that she is okay and just taking it day by day

[@indianspartan76]

OP says Ted was the only one that stood up for Ash when he was being bullied like that. That means her "favorite brother 6" was also in on the bullying. Screw their remorse. I have never known anyone to be such little sh!ts to their own siblings. This was more than bullying. It was outright torture. Ash is a screwed up individual, and I think, if not for Ted, he'd have likely turned into a serial killer.

[@missNekolover91]

or he would commit suicide, He basically was tortured his whole life by his... "brothers", except for Ted, and his mom is a she beast, but the thing about the brother having the problems, that it doesn't excuse, I think it can be excuse, he just snapped, he just wanted to be with his only family that cared and loved him, I don't know if brother number 1 also did horrible stuff or he even felt remorseful, he was the little brother, he was supposed to be protected not bullied or tortured by the family, and I bet he only cared because it was the only daughter, if he had children it would repeat the abuse

[@indianspartan76]

@@missNekolover91 I think brother 1 might have been the ring leader. We're not gonna make excuses for Ash of course. But those brothers acting all high and mighty and OP telling them it's not their fault is off the mark. Except for ted, that whole family is horrible. I once bullied a kid when I was 11 (ONCE). I felt so much remorse, I apologized to the kid the next day and never did it to anyone again. Edit: fixed typos

[@missNekolover91]

@@indianspartan76 but I kinda hate that everyone except for Ash and Ted, had good endings, the brothers have wife's or something, do they know how horrible the brothers where? if they bullied their brother, would they bully or abuse their wife or child?

[@indianspartan76]

@@missNekolover91 I'm thinking the same thing. They're villains too. They don't get to come to OP with the, "we should have protected you from him" attitude when they were the ones that broke him. I was thinking about this story again this morning and I realize I felt real sympathy for Ash. He dealt with mental and physical torture for years before he became an adult. He literally was not allowed to form into a proper adult. In the first update, OP mentioned that there was a physical fight. So some brothers thought he was despicable and tried to beat him up again? Brother 6 has a girlfriend now and she's a redditor who knows the whole saga, and she's not disgusted? I just have so many questions. Brother 5 is a douche for bringing the she devil to see OP

[@indianspartan76]

@@missNekolover91 Ash must have been feeling the same thing that they don't get to have happy lives after he has been bullied by them his entire life.

[@jacquelinewithac8668]

“Apologies for it going that long” MARK I AM BEYOND HAPPY WE HAVE SOME LENGTHIER CONTENT FROM YOU!! I could listen to you explain paint drying and be interested. Also as a Mexican, it’s “tor-tee-yuh” for tortilla (:

[@lilfairykiki122]

I know she’s sad about Ted but honestly he did her such a favor, there are plenty of wonderful men out their with normal families who won’t torment you. She’s better off without him and she’ll be happy in life. Ted on the other hand is going to die alone if he keeps him family in his life, all he’ll have is a string of failed relationships due to his family. I dont feel bad for him at all, he’s a grown man and he made a choice.

[@samiulhuda4001]

yup i think that was his goal too. he def feels he done enough damage to her and she could do better.

[@jacearmor5274]

They didn't "bully" him, that was torture!

[@thebigmystery7841]

Man i feel this girl so much...my husband and I ran into housing trouble after we moved (water line broke and our room that was the basement flooded) so we moved out of our roomates place into my MILs place. All through our relationship my husband has shown anger problems (more of problems with regulating his emotions properly, both of us have ADHD) but he expressed how he hates it and has gotten so much better through our relationship. He also expressed how nice and caring his mother was. She also seemed to like me. But it wasnt until we moved in that it made so much sense why he and his brothers could get so violent. Their mom was the same! Nothing could be said without a crazy argument where shed be screaming or crying. It could be where the toaster was moved! Then ever since we moved in it was like all the improvment he made with his anger issues reversed and amplified. We did our best to move out but then she treated me pretty awful and me being disraught that he was backpeddling and even worse OUR relationship was starting to be full of more arguments, yelling and storming out which never used to be the case. It all was a wake up call that his house hold was the cause and we finally got out of there. And isnt it a miracle, hes mellowed out again. Sometimes you have to recognize the awful happening to someone you truly care about for things to be put into perspective.

[@mog-gyveroneill2500]

I think Ted's mother had threatened him with making OP's and his life an utter misery if he didn't divorce her, and he's just too under her thumb to fight. I'll tell you what though, OP can write, and keep it interesting...she ought to write books!!

[@AndyyWithAY]

It is so hard when you're in the situation, but as an outsider this is all for the best for OP. There's tons of toxicity in that family. Thank God she never had a baby with Ted.

[@carolroberts4614]

I think he really let her down. If he wanted to distance himself completely, that would be one thing, but he's still hanging around, without having any responsibility!

[@lifegoeson6045]

@@carolroberts4614 I agree

[@TsukiKageTora]

Tbh if I was OP I would hate the husband for divorcing me for the issues he has with his family.

[@LS-bb9qh]

Yeah like she did nothing wrong but she gets dumped.

[@kaylaprice370]

My god. That family is messed up! I feel so bad for ash and OP. But it doesn't exclude him from his mistakes. Honestly though, it amazes me how he isn't murdering people. The brothers should be ashamed of themselves. I didn't know Ted stood up for ash as well

[@1964Puddles]

This is without a doubt the most impactful post ever for me. That family is like the7th circle of insanity hell. I felt so awful for Ellie, how it all ended. So much tragedy for so many people, for what reason??? Those brothers disgust me, and I hope they (and the mother) are haunted by this the rest of their lives.

[@tegantalks9612]

Ted’s family sounds like a “quiver full” family (think the Duggars or Plath family of TLC fame). I think Ted’s mom and dad are both awful people for fostering the environment they did. It also sounds like brother 5 was the biggest trouble maker. I feel sorry for Ash that it got to this point for him where he felt so much hatred he basically killed his poor cat and drove his poor brother to divorce. I hope OP can find a new partner whose family is not batshit crazy.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Yikes! That is a scary thought, because we can see how the Duggars turned out: years spent covering up for a child molester in their midst. Someone needs to tell all these lunatics that the days of having to produce a gaggle of children in order to work on the farm are over. Furthermore, when you treat a woman’s vagina like a clown car, odds are good that some of the clowns that spill out are gonna be full on, batshit crazy.

[@amyill9280]

Yes, i truly hope she finds a wonderful partner with a wonderful family who will prioritize her and not abandon her like a-hole Ted did

[@deepersoul689]

@@BruinPhD2009 OMG I know this is a serious situation, but the clowns in a clown car simile killed me lol.

[@tedybomber1713]

@@BruinPhD2009 dammit why’d u make me laugh u jerk 😆

[@jennix8666]

Was going to comment this, Teds family is definitely giving off Duggar vibes, especially after whats happened with their oldest. Is it sad if they are IBLP like them? 😳

[@cjb2749]

It's completely nuts for brother1 to blame sil for what happened... if she hadn't posted on reddit, and her husband hadn't gone over there, psycho brother would still be plotting against #1's daughter... that is a very scary thought, especially considering that we have no idea how far he would have taken his revenge fantasy. Also, he wouldn't be getting help right now, which he clearly, seriously needs. I'm only half way through, so I'll probably be back ETA: it sounds like Ted- knowing that he could never expect Ellie to be anywhere near his family, and recognizing that he'd look like a huge dbag if he were to carry on a relationship with them that she was deliberately excluded from- felt that he had to choose between his family and his wife, and he chose his family. That kinda sucks. I hate stories where somebody ends up with their life completely upside down and inside out through no fault of their own. She didn't do anything to deserve having her life ripped away from her and made unrecognizable like that. It makes me sad. I hope that Ted stays single for a very long time, so that she doesn't have to face running into him- or hearing about him- with another girl. She really doesn't deserve any of this.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

Don’t apologize for the videos length, I actually like really long videos. ^^ 30 minute videos with five stories sounds good 🥺 I am currently rearranging my room for new furniture so I’ll definitely be listening to this to help pass the time as I clean.

[@DarrenThompson]

I work from home and my wife is in another country right now - this is perfect for background noise! )))

[@betsybattles2696]

Wow, I actually feel sorry for Ash. The very people that should have been loving him and caring for him, mentoring him and defending him instead brutalized him in the most horrific ways. It is no wonder he became what he did. I hope he can find some peace but I'm afraid it is a vain hope. He is probably irreparably damaged.

[@hungrymusicwolf]

I feel so hurt every time I imagine his how his cat was being abused. Poor cat didn't deserve this. Poor kitty.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

After hearing this literal shit show, what I first want to say is that it's a freaking MIRACLE that Ash didn't end up as a serial killer. While the shit he faced explained a lot of his current behavior as an adult and does help provide some sympathy for him, it doesn't exonerate him from his past actions. Second, the entire thing is just exhausting listening too. I can only image how OP feels for having to actually go through all of that for a YEAR. Third, that entire immediate family, with the exception of the 6th brother and kids, are ALL TRASH. TED INCLUDED. He's not a man he's a freaking putz!!!

[@nyxie9415]

This is literally what I was thinking. Honestly, I think Ash totally would’ve gone the serial killer route had he not been caught and sent to the psych ward when he was, especially after more of the backstory was shared. And when I heard that Ted was divorcing OP, I was honestly so shocked and disappointed in him, cuz up to that point, he had just come across as another victim of a toxic family situation, just not to the degree Ash was. Man literally had no balls even after everything. The only good thing is that him divorcing OP meant that she gets to escape this toxic family before it drags her down further.

[@Roslynguy]

I'm not even halfway through the video and I'm honestly speechless. I though the drama in my family was insane but the one in this story takes the cake, the plates, the utensils, hell, the whole damn table.

[@starrhunter633]

This family was crazy and it shows how abuse and not dealing with it can have long lasting effects that can destroy a family. This is just so much. I hope the family will heal from this and OP will be happy one day.

[@micheleosullivan4430]

New subscriber here. This was a jaw-dropping story. This woman needs to write a book! Also, great narration! I've never gotten into these Reddit things, but yours is so good!

[@Zak_Nike]

I was the youngest of 4 brothers, they built me up, introduced me to a huge variety of amazing music, taught me what was right, etc. etc. etc. Took the piss of course but most of all they loved me. And me them.

[@muhname6052]

When she came to yell at OP the best comeback would have been to say "At least I didn't raise pee boy" After the what things where done to him I can see why the pee

[@alyonaf1054]

I dunno why she stayed at the door. I would have walked away and put earbuds in with some music. Gosh, I do hope this story is fake.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Over an hour long story? Damn Mark you're absolutely astonishing!

[@Rose-bi2rg]

I feel so bad for the whole situation. Mostly, I feel for that poor cat. Locked in a house with an abusive owner.

[@lynngrant533]

I’ve watched this a few times through the past few months and as I’m nearing the end now, I’m thinking that it’s probably really fortunate for the brothers that they’re all still alive. I would not have blamed Ash if he would’ve taken their lives into his hands and done away with them at some point. What a horrible family! And what a horrible upbringing for that poor kid! His brothers were monsters except for Ted who did try to protect him. Their mother should’ve been drawn and quartered!

[@everdreamcosplay]

My verdict is the entire family is messed up. The lack of consequences (probably stemming from the death of sister #1, if we punish the one who did it we lose 2 children) made them into wild animals. The only adults in their lives were an abuser and a doormat, so that's what they became. Ted is spineless, but he was raised that way. Shame on him for hurting his wife worse instead of helping her AND cutting off his family. On the other hand, she is well rid of him, although I'm sure it hurts now. Lucky she posted and they caught Ash before he actually harmed her physically. I feel awful for Sunny though. I hope all brothers (and niece) get tons of therapy, and any that bullied Ash should contribute regularly to a fund to pay for his ongoing treatment. I hope OP finds a new city, a new job, and a fresh start, and healing somewhere down the line.

[@areyoufauxreal26]

That was a great but sad story. I feel bad for OP that she lost her husband over this and she very clearly is still in love with him and is having a difficult time. And I feel bad for him because he’s carrying so much guilt. It also sucks what happened to Ash when he was younger and the mom sucks for not protecting him. Who lets their kids lock one of their siblings outside all night?! But Ash certainly did not deal with his trauma in the right way and is disgusting for what he did. It’s such a complex situation and a lot of people suck for a lot of different reasons but OP is innocent and it’s sad that she suffered the consequences for others’ actions. Thank you for taking the time to read this, Mark!

[@IndigoWhite]

Dude omg Ted SUCKSSSS he didn’t protect her, he didn’t take her side at first, and then he leaves when it’s hard and just abandons her because it’s easier to forget??? Wtf bro I’m so mad 😭

[@rhaeasoul8531]

A pathetic freakin coward. If I was op id make sure he’s alone forever becuase he doesn’t deserve happiness.

[@alfredmarcos1761]

This has more twists and turns than a Spanish telenovela

[@kbf9644]

I hope OP realizes the continued contact with Ted is likely doing her more harm than good. If it’s over, let it be over. I’m afraid OP will go into a holding pattern of waiting for him, intentionally or not.

[@karyudoll482]

Can we really call that woman a mother? She was more like a baby factory. It sure aounds like not alot of parenting went on after she gave birth, at least for the last 5 children. This is so sad. Perbaps losing her girls broke something in her. As a mother myself, I just can't understand allowing that kind of treatment to happened to one of your children, much less allowing your other children to dish out such treatment. There were so many cries for help that went unanswered. Poor Ellie had no part and payed the price for all of it.

[@melissaclark1051]

I do feel sorry for Ash. He is the kind of person that never stood a chance at a sane mentality. Hope he does get the stability he needs.

[@thethirteenthroyal9491]

We should have a moment of silence for the deceased cat. 😔

[@sylviajones6745]

I feel so sorry for OP and strangely Ash. He went through so much torment and torturing. It's no surprise to me he turned out like he did. What wouldn't suryme if he became a serial killer against women. Just a horrible situation and that most of Ted's family blamed OP, instead themselves. Jesus Christ, what a mess. I cried a couple of y.

[@SuperJuxtaposition]

The type of bullying Ash was subjected to was criminal. It’s no wonder he’s messed up. His mother should have intervened, assuming his father was gone by then. The whole family is disgusting.

[@jacquiethebibliophil]

Some thoughts: there was sexual abuse of Ash no one is talking about or knows about. OP is still a danger to herself because of her guilt over things that she had nothing to do with, eg the cat's death. She seemed to absorb some of the family's misplaced accusations. HELL NO it wasn't her fault and how could someone entertain for a nanosecond that it was; however, she did. Ted is a coward and she still can't see it. Serial killers start with animals and work up to people. The urinating was indeed awful and insane but for me the true horror is knowing he looked at those pictures--of a SIL and young niece, and masturbated. Then he smeared them in effigy with semen. That is far worse. He orchestrated everything so that he could move in with OP and her husband. If he had succeeded, all my intuition tells me, he would have raped her. He would have raped or molested the niece. I think brother one raped him and Ash's reaction to the daughter had little or nothing to do with her looking like her father; rather, it had to do with him wanting to avenge himself on his rapist brother by harming his daughter. If looks did play into it I think it was only a small part. As said, he wanted to harm and degrade (piss on you, literally and god knows what he fantasized about them when he was doing the deed) OP because she took away his only rescuer. Yes, it is obvious he hated the impotent mother, but I still think he was molested by brother 1, or even several of his brothers.

[@silversugar2140]

I 100% agree with this take.

[@aikikaname6508]

I absolutely agree. Even if he wasn’t sexually abused in the sense of forced to perform acts for gratification, stuff like the nappies, being forced to set himself definitely fall into that realm. That guy needs to be kept in a facility, because as is it’s not if but when he starts raping women

[@MaryTheresa1986]

💯

[@Linda-cj3rw]

I absolutely was thinking, ash went through something awful omg.

[@elizabethwolfgang4017]

I thought simular to your take, however I think Ash said it truthfully when he said the niece looks like Dad, I think their Dad molested all the kids & Mom knew it. The hatred Ash has twards his brothers for the torture & the hatred for his Mother knowing exactly what was happening & did nothing to protect him from Dad & the brothers. Ted knows his family is sick, very sick, & Ted mabe too, thats why he divorced Op, she'd never be safe with him or his family.

[@LadyJoolree]

DAAAAAANG! Those are some broken toys right there! I do hope OP is able to move on and be happy. Shame on Ted for chickening out of the marriage, but I guess it was only as strong as it's weakest link. Ash needs to continue to get help AWAY from that family. Can't believe they brought him back to the Mum's house!! That mother is evil, and one of the sickest of them all. I think their father has left his corrupted stamp on the whole family. Its easier to throw knives at the scapegoat than deal with the toxic village that released it! I started listening to this while playing my violin (trying to test how secure my memory is with some pieces; if I can do that and listen to you it's gravy!). Had to down tools as it's difficult to play the violin when your jaw keeps dropping too far! 🤣 Well done for reading that Mark! 👏🏾 👏🏾👏🏾 Time for some honey and lemon tea with some whisky for your throat mate! 🥰 ETA: This story is burning a hole in my head! Ted doesn't feel too 'guilty' about the situation, he's just avoiding facing his role in it. If he truly felt she would do better without him for HER sake he should stop this 'friend' fallacy. He should move to a different city and not hang around like a landmine in her life waiting to nuke her progress around every corner, and OP should realise this and go full no contact. He could have worked through it all WITH her, not kicked her to the curb to make it easier on himself when she needed him the most. Seems Ted and Ash are more codependant than first thought as Ted keeps putting servicing Ash first! OP if you can't trust your 'friend' to have your back better than this then they don't qualify as such.

[@rmhartman]

OP has some self esteem problems. At least she recognizes it to some extent (calling herself a doormat). Her hubby ... well, ex ... is broken too, just more functional than Ash. But divorcing OP "to protect her from his family" indicates a skewed way of thinking. I hope OP can move on.

[@Dairy9661]

Their mom (and dad) really failed them. And allowing them to just keep getting away with it and sweeping it away. There are several psychopathic kids in that family...

[@sksunshine4860]

My heart is so sore for OP but also for Ash. He was tortured by his brothers, not just bullied and I would say they are the fundamental reason for his mental instability. Yes, the things he did were absolutely grotesque but he suffered for years and his parents did absolutely nothing to stop it then his mother overcoddled him trying to make up for it. I'm not excusing what he did but hearing the details at the end definitely completely changed my perception. I was bullied in school but the treatment Ash received from his brothers was appalling and the fact that some of his brothers still feel they didn't do anything wrong makes me sick. I am the oldest of 6 and can't imagine treating any of my siblings like this, we fought like normal siblings do but it was short lived and just the basic punch and kick before Mom broke it apart. We also were never compared to each other, my mom was from a family of 13 but they were spread apart in age where we were born in rapid succession. We would occasionally do the cup of water over the door or something of that ilk but on the whole worked together and played together fairly well. It is sickening that anyone would treat a person this way but especially their sibling. Then there's the mom, she could have done something way before but didn't so she has her own personal hell of her own making for failing her youngest child. I understand losing a child is devastating but abandoning your child is just as devastating. Ellie has a lot more compassion for Ted abandoning her than I would, running away from his own problems instead of working it out. I hope she moves on and finds someone who values her for who she is and will stick with her through thick and thin.