AITA For Not Saying "eSpresso" Incorrectly?

[@randalhill6283]

The coffee snobbery is real in the comments for the first story. How dare she not realize espresso is an Italian word. Oh my God. That wasn't even the point of her story. Like I said, the coffee snobbery was real

[@iamhungey12345]

Robusta or Arabica?

[@lorifiedler13]

I hope OP just refuses to use the word espresso. As a non coffee drinker, I'd probably just ask for "one of those things" and whenever corrected, and he will correct, respond "yeah, whatever". Or obnoxious say it as X-Press-O slow and distinctly. Her SO is a jerk.

[@kyab2815]

Yeah coffee snobbery is def a thing. In my early barista days I was more mad about the macchiato European vs American thing. Like really. It's so annoying especially as a small European style coffee shop in an American mall. I have to ask which one and then 95% of the time have have no idea what I'm talking about and I have to explain the difference and then they ask me wtf they have the same name half the time so I have to either pretend I don't know and risk being judged for not knowing despite our cafe having a braggy add of how we know everything about coffee or explain and sound like even more of a coffee snob. Plus either way it takes a 1 minute order and turns it into a 5 minute discussion.

[@VidGirl88]

It's "LeviOHsa, not LeviosAAA"

[@umbriel706]

These types of people never fail to get on my nerves, same types of weirdos that gatekeep normally fun hobbies because “YoU’rE nOt DoInG iT rIgHt!!1”

[@boblorch6212]

OP “woks hard” at applying for jobs online for ONE HOUR, and is so wiped out that he throws a hissy fit and tries to ruin his hard working SO’s clothes while she’s working to support his sorry self. Talk about a prime candidate for the single life. YTA.

[@rollothecat2010]

I imagine he would be really wiped out if he spent 8 hours actually working a real job that was comprised of work online on difficult complex projects. There is probably a very good reason he is currently unemployed.

[@laurenc4138]

Right! While she’s working as a nurse in a pandemic lmfao She needs to throw the whole dude out

[@carlrood4457]

I keep thinking how people used to have to go door to door, and fill out applications by hand. I'm sure the writer's cramp would have sent this guy to the Emergency Room.

[@wickedamoeba8719]

Story Two: YTA. This screams weaponized incompetence. Cramming clothes into a dresser will make the dresser hard to open and will ensure the clothing is wrinkled.

[@Keyonne88]

Bingo; Doing it "your way" is perhaps folding them a little differently, not entirely avoiding folding.

[@funtimegenshin6973]

She is also the asshole for screaming at him instead of just talking to him in an angry tone

[@krissypyne3783]

The husband with the therapy sessions is clearly watching porn or some other things that he recognizes as potentially harmful to his relationship hence the slamming of the laptop.

[@SilverMaychan]

That is what I was thinking.

[@tigernotwoods914]

Or gambling addiction either online casino or sports betting. That’s a thing as well

[@angeldark404]

He may have an onlyfans addiction....

[@Anamais666]

Cam girls is what im thinking

[@Mkay999]

LOL the unemployed husband calling the wife working from home “lazy” and the noise bothers him….awh poor baby does the noise distract his tv show Cut the dead weight

[@pansprayers]

Luckily, he's the boyfriend. No drawn out process required to get rid of this one.

[@pansprayers]

P.S. I'm petty, and would buy a drum, and literally sound wall him out of the house.

[@rollothecat2010]

@@pansprayers LOL.

[@pansprayers]

@@rollothecat2010 I stopped pandering to stupid people like the boyfriend ages ago, lol. Now I turn it into a game.

[@RevWarRev]

Wait wait wait... So unemployed husband is bullying OP, making fun of her for concerns about COVID while he refuses to even look for employment!?! Slacker needs earplugs and a job.

[@francit4856]

Absolutely the husband is TA. Really questioning this unhealthy relationship. Husband is a poc.

[@kiairadavis5561]

Story #3 about made me bust a vain! Wtf is wrong with OP's loser husband?! I thought she was atleast gonna say he works from home as well and it interferes with meetings and he can't go into the office. The fact that he has NO JOB and is bothered by her WORKING, tells me she needs to run, fast and far! Damn!

[@lorifiedler13]

And tells he she's paranoid about the virus but doesn't want to get a job now. Now is the perfect time to get a job.

[@Keyonne88]

Dude sounds like he's mad he can't cheat on her with her working from home to be honest. He doesn't work, but she's bothering him? He's likely been bringing women home and can't now cuz she's there.

[@suehirsch6545]

Re laundry story: YOU'RE THE AH!! You could have taken a break for a few minutes and then folded the laundry on the couch, and put it away after a bit more of a break. She is currently the bread winner and needs a break more than you do, and needs nice looking clothes so she can keep supporting you while you sit on your a$$ doing NOTHING to bring in money.

[@xelectrix]

Does OP not realize that you can fold laundry and watch TV at the same time? It's the most TV watchable chore.

[@mothmanlol6263]

I didn’t even do that much therapy when I was literally in a mental health institution

[@pansprayers]

My friend didn't do that many sessions when she was in an inpatient treatment facility. He's not doing therapy.

[@damien678]

I have multiple friends with DID (whom manage it well) that don't do even HALF that much therapy 😭

[@rollothecat2010]

OP whose ADHD son wet himself when denied permission to use the bathroom. This is a sad story for the child. Never deny a child the use of the bathroom when they say they have to go. Husband is wrong to defend the behavior of his side of the family on this issue. This is a red flag in OP's husband's family.

[@Telenaus]

my dad did when i was like 6 telling to wait & mom says we passed by 3 gastations ,she growled at him until i said it was ok i didnt need to go no more, but id like to change panties,, another hour in the car(we were moving across texas) he has never ignored me or any kid when its said ,he soo wanted to be angery at me but couldn't because i asked each time one came by & didnt throw a tantrum either, i literaly didnt do anything wrong for once . but putting a kid in acorner for 90 mins?? hek no

[@damien678]

when you know how ADHD brains are physically structured and how they work, too, this story becomes a genuine nightmare. there's so much about what happened to him that's going to genuinely stay with him

[@damien678]

like, we (ADHDers) have underdeveloped frontal lobes which controls executive functioning skills, which includes impulse control, self-monitoring, emotional control, memory skills, planning and prioritising, and task initiation. When we're excited and focused, we can Hyperfocus, and everything else goes from our minds besides what's caught our attention. It's extremely common for us ADHD *adults* to forget to eat and go to the toilet, and by adulthood we have much better executive functioning skills. and yet it's still common for us to not take care of basic needs if we're focusing hard enough. AND ADHD gives us "bigger emotions", meaning we feel regular emotions but... more. So imagine a kid who's really happy and excited with ALL THAT going on. And did you know sugar doesn't make kids go hyper? A lot of research has been done on this, it doesn't give you more energy. That's really just how neurotypical kids react to being really happy. Hyper AF. That little boy was completely set up to fail.

[@rollothecat2010]

@@damien678 I don't think I have ADHD. I am old so there was nothing about it when I was young. (My husband and adult son tease me because I hop around from topic to topic when I talk at home. It is just that one thing makes me think of something related. So yes, my impulse control is not what it should be. But even taking tests in school, my brain would race ahead on a math solution or a math proof. I could not write as fast as my brain would think.) There was a lot about ADHD when my son was young. But I really felt for this child in the story. I was fiercely angry for him. I would be angry at any adult who did that to a child. Or to anyone of any age. It is cruel to deny the use of a bathroom to anyone when they need to go. It is actually unhealthy (can lead to UTIs) as well as abusive. Still real angry about this one.

[@dawnsharp8524]

Therapy story: I was once in emergency therapy sessions with a psychiatrist. My primary doc wanted me admitted to a psych facility for 30 days, but due to my household situation agreed not to force the issue if I saw the psychiatrist. I saw the psychiatrist 1 hr, 3 x per week for 3 months. After that, I went down to once per week and then once per month until I stopped many months (years) later. I was in crisis and never had a multiple hour session and had multiple sessions per week only for a limited time. OP's spouse is probably lying or is being fleeced.

[@ceridwen04]

I'm Italian and I spent one year in the UK. I started to pronounce Capuccino in the way British people do because I felt like a pretentious a$$ saying it correctly... the other side of the coin. Honestly, it was barely a Capuccino anyway so it was easier to pretend. Yes. I went there. (TBH, our Americano has nothing to do with long coffee either, we do it as a watered-down espresso, yuck)

[@littleoldlady873]

As a Brit, I now want to know the correct way of pronouncing Cappuccino 😆

[@nilianstroy]

@@littleoldlady873 it's something like "ka-poo-tshi-noo"...

[@xebecdav]

for the OP whos husband is in “therapy”, i want to know what was really going on w him lol. wish there was an update.

[@imsleepy6211]

Me, 11 months later, still wishing for an update

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

He’s attacked by your words??? My parents learned English as a second language and my mom says words and phrases weirdly but I understand them. NTA OP’s husband is petty

[@damien678]

Kid with ADHD Wetting Himself: so first of all, OP would never be TA. Second, 90 minutes timeout for ANY CHILD would be painful, but ADHD brains are literally, physically, different from neurotypical brains. As an ADHDer, it's literally PHYSICALLY PAINFUL for me to be bored and understimulated, and this is a common thing with ADHD. We're also more likely to get depressed when bored compared to non-ADHD folk. So they were literally hurting this boy. The ADHD brain has underdeveloped frontal lobes which impacts out executive functions (although not our intellect). These executive functions include working memory, SELF-CONTROL, emotional control, and TASK INITIATION. Which means actually going and getting started on something. Another one is Self-Monitoring, which is the ability to monitor and regulate self-presentations, emotions, and behaviours. So these are things we also struggle more with. We cannot help being worse overall at executive function skills because of our physically underdeveloped frontal lobes. A lot of us with ADHD have a hard time recognising when we're feeling hungry, or when we need to go to the toilet. When we get so excited and focused on something we can Hyperfocus, which means we take in literally nothing else but what we're focused on, and for kids that can be playing. Have another fact; a lot of ADHD brains do not fully develop until we're 35, while neurotypical brains fully develop at 25. Children with ADHD have also been noted to be significantly delayed in a lot of areas compared to their peers (even though we do tend to be mostly caught up once we hit adulthood). SO, this child, who has a brain physically structured and developed differently to these other children - that makes it so he struggles more than most with things like impulse control, and general loudness and rowdiness - who most likely already had to go to the toilet beforehand but didn't realise because he was having so much fun (which is VERY TYPICAL for ADHDers) - was put into the naughty corner for way longer than is considered normal for even neurotypical children... who do not suffer as intensely and physically as ADHD folk do from boredom. OK. I hate everything about this situation and situations like this (that can happen to us nearly constantly) is why so many of us ADHDers go into adulthood emotionally wrecked with no self-esteem.

[@noniakamai2458]

I agree 100% and would like to add some. I am a mom of four amazing AFAB kiddos (22,18,18,15) and grandmother of one awesome amab one year old. I was taught one minute for each year, obviously to the child’s capabilities. I have two neurodivergent children and wouldn’t expect them to sit for 90 minutes NOW let alone as a small child! Also “time out” was just for reflection on behavior and if the child needed a moment to “regroup”. We still take time out sometimes. Refusing a child toilet time is seriously demented!

[@katieb.1184]

I would end up fidgetting and picking at my nails at that age... so I would be mentally and physically in pain.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Honestly, it doesn't even matter the kid has adhd. He is FOUR. No kid that age should be in time out more than like five minutes. That's cruel to EVERY child. No four year old can hold it for ninety minutes, it doesn't matter if the child has adhd or is a genius and prodigy. That's just not to be expected of such a young kid. Kids should never be denied access to the bathroom. More so not at four. Lots of kids aren't even fully dry at that point. Like everything after "four years, ninety minutes timeout" or "for years, denied access to bathroom" was unnecessary and BIL and SIL were already giant AHoles. And than taking into account he was punished for "making to much noise while playing". That's so horrible. Its some of the worst kinds of abuse, because from a very young age it is drilled into the child that it's existence is a bad thing and every sign of it's existence is also bad. These people deserve so much punishment. Disgusting.

[@corlenajames1381]

A 90 MINUTE TIME OUT FOR A FOUR YEAR OLD????? They were intentionally being cruel to. OPs child!! Evil ppl.

[@faeriefire78]

He feels "attacked" because she has trouble pronouncing a word and gave up trying? What a fragile little flower! But I guess I'm happy for them that they don't have to endure real hardships if this is what nearly breaks them. They sound charmed and don't even know it.

[@nilianstroy]

What's worst is that the comments are actually siding with him.

[@xyphergaming30]

@@nilianstroy rþŕþrrrrrrrþrrrr r dþr try rrfþrdþrþþrrddrrrþþ r þ r d r dd r Rte r þd r f fr r þrr r tf þrþrdďdrþþ red r drþþþþþ tete rrf r r st d r dþr r fr ETD rþþ Rte þ r d fr fr r terr r þ tr drŕ r d tf þþ r d r þþþþrþdþd tf þ r r tr þþþ erred detrimental rþrrrŕŕdŕþþ r d r dþrrdrrdþþrrrrr r þþþrrþ r þþdþþþŕþr r r dþþŕþ r d r rrf free dþþ ft þdþd r r ddfrrþ r dry dþ r free tf drrþþrd ft r tf r þ tf þþ st þ ft r ft ft ft fret þ TRD fr fr fr fr fr r þ tf cry fr cry cry gf cry get frfr cry BFF gf cry gf BFF gf fr gf gf cry tf frfr t vet þ vet BFF gf f

[@theducklinghomesteadandgar6639]

Oh my goodness The story of OP saving their peas at Mom's work dinner is the best, heartwarming and awesome story I have heard in a long time. OP did an amazing job at the dinner. Finding a way to cope by placing the peas in a cup for the ducks was super special. If OP and/or Mom gets to see this, that sounds like something really cool to do if she every hosts a dinner party again., to have a small cup or bowl beside the plate for "Duck Treats" should anyone want to donate a small portion of their meal to go to the ducks, then OP will take the treats to the ducks after dinner. This way if there ever is something OP or anyone else doesn't care for, they will have an out to putting the whatever in the duck treat cup and everyone will know where it's going, and if anyone just wants to help feed the ducks, they can add a spoonful of whatever!!! I have Muscovy ducks myself and I love them so much. They are really fun to have around and the Muscovies aren't quackers so they aren't loud like most ducks can be. They will follow and come when called and since mine live in my yard I can pet some of them and they will eat out of my hand. All of my love to OP and Mom and any who read this. 🥰 From a woman who is a Mom and GrandMa in the US!

[@damien678]

Gay Uncle giving advice to Lesbian Niece: the way he worded his thoughts on out/closeted relationships was incredibly nuanced and thoughtful, and he said this was his immediate first response too. My own first thoughts weren't nearly as wise nor good. If his sister isn't a part of the community, she needs to stfu because she has no idea what our relationships and dynamics are like; and yes, we have strikingly different relationship dynamics to straight people (for example, it's completely acceptable to date your friends ex in lgbtq circles, and more normal to stay friends with your exes). That doesn't mean our relationships are less loving or valid, and it's not homophobic to acknowledge how our relationships are different.

[@ZombieSazza]

Exactly, sadly doesn’t stop people butting in and judging us for literally just living our dang lives

[@JMac7395]

S1: OP is not the a-hole, the husband is. Sometimes an individual's accent or tongue placement will always alter how a person enunciates a word no matter how long they've spoken the new language. I have a friend who's 1st language is French. She learned English at 10yrs old. As an adult there are still certain English words that are difficult for her to enunciate. My 1st language is English. Because of my difficulties with tongue placement I can't roll my Rs to speak French or Spanish properly. The people labeling OP as the a-hole who's "deliberately choosing" not to properly annunciate are clearly perpetuating coffee snobbery smdh. As for OP's husband I would luv for him to have cafe experience in Italy. Let him attempt to enunciate certain Italian words. Guarantee the criticisms will be gut-wrenching. Nothing knocks a know-it-all snob of their pedestal than receiving a large dose of their own medicine from the original source.

[@avrilbowler8755]

The therapist story - I suspect he is looking at something he shouldn't. He is almost certainly NOT in therapy.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. It’s snobby of your husband to police your words. It’s not petty that op is mispronouncing a word it’s petty of her husband for making a big deal about it.

[@rollothecat2010]

Yes.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

Don’t know what it’s ESH. OP’s husband is petty and stupid

[@pansprayers]

It's not petty, it's low key classist/venturing into racist territory, not to mention controlling. Abusers control speech.

[@Lady.B0420]

So your spouse should let you walk around looking like a moron and sounding uneducated, because you are a lazy P.O.S that can't be bothered to speak correctly? The entitlement. Just know that when people like you order "Expresso" I will correct you and laugh at you to your face. Then my Coworkers and I will laugh about the morons that can't even order their coffee right and you end up as the butt of a joke on a Reddit page. Ignorance is only bliss for the ignorant. The rest of us hate you. Also, wouldn't it be considered petty to continually mispronounce a word simply because you want to? If my husband didn't correct me when I'm wrong, then who will? A spouse pointing out a mistake isn't petty, they are trying to save you and them embarrassment.

[@Lady.B0420]

@@pansprayers racist? Well that is a fu@king stretch.

[@pansprayers]

It really bugs me when people refuse to understand that certain words just are a palette (as in literally the roof of your f*cking mouth, tounge and your teeth) issue. It literally takes weeks, if not months or years to figure out how to shape certain words. Hubby needs to stop before his espresso becomes super expensive fertilizer.

[@bricksloth6920]

I have a malformed palette myself. It could probably have been corrected with years of speech therapy but we'll never know because my mother "didn't believe in" speech therapy. So yeah story 1 hit kinda hard

[@rollothecat2010]

@@bricksloth6920 I really think speech issues are more common than most people realize. My younger brother was actually given speech therapy in a US public school (extremely rare in public schools in the US) because of a problem with S sounds.

[@jinx18e]

There are words I can pronounce "just fine" but only with really thinking about it and slowly

[@AuroraLalune]

This made me laugh so hard

[@pansprayers]

@@rollothecat2010 's' is pretty common, and so is 'th', especially in Vietnamese and Chinese EFL ers. My husband has a student he works with currently that has been going through pronunciation for six months on those to get a more desirable IELTS result. Tounge/lip tie are pretty common, overlooked issues as well.

[@annajapiassu306]

as a fellow neurodivergent person, the story that finished around 1:11:00 had me straight up crying on my pillow haha (it's like 3 am here lol). it was just so precious and i really want to experience all those things as well (with the nice boss, the ducks, and the ice-cream i mean, i actually like peas and their texture lol)

[@shaycornacorn]

Right that was such a wholesome story!! I work with ND kids and it lifted my heart that OPs mom recognized her fault in the matter, talked it over with OP, and made an commitment to do better in the future!

[@DarkDreamsAndMoonlitNights]

The peas story is strangely sweet. The boss gave OP his peas for the ducks, plus money for ice cream. What a nice guy.

[@sdaniels160]

I happen to be an ESL teacher and my wife is from another country. Two things to understand is that OP should be interested in pronouncing words correctly but she needs to do it on her timeline not someone elses. She has lots of English words to learn to pronounce correctly. Forcusing on this word would be for her husband's sake not hers. That is she would be learning it to get her husband off of her back, not for genuine interst and that's not OK. She will practice the correct pronunciation of espresso over time. As a teacher, you drill the pronunciation for a bit and if the student isn't getting it, you don't keep drilling you give them a break and come back to it later. Some words require toungue control that comes over time. Second, having your significant other as your language coach is a bad idea. He thinks he's helping. She sees it as dictating, thus the resistance. Have someone criticizing your habbits regularly and see how much you like it. Stop correcting your partner unless you want to be a walking anti-afrodisiac. You are not in charge of her language development, she is. She's not on your timeline.

[@Twallrion]

Loved to find out about the peas, I still had a full bag of dried peas, so I went to the park and fed 2 ducks the entire bag, they loved it! Thanks

[@rollothecat2010]

Story 1: NTA. Not everyone can pronounce every word correctly no matter how hard they try to pronounce certain words. The redditors do not understand this. Some people (many people) have brain glitches and cannot pronounce certain words for their whole life. Certain combinations of sounds are just hard for some people. People have different glitch sounds/words. I liked the reddit comment by the coffee barrista. It best summarizes the espresso pronounciation issue for that word. I have listened to videos on improving your English language skills for Native English speakers. They acknowledge that even highly educated famous speakers mispronounce some words. My mother is tri-lingual. She can speak English, Portuguese, and French fluently. My father could speak 5 languages fluently. (Which is probably why the Army wanted him to become a career Army man after he was drafted into WW2 besides having a darn good IQ -- not a genius but close). And yet, despite being tri-lingual, my mother has never been able to pronounce linoleum and a couple of other words. She tried and tried but they are tongue twisters in her brain despite having grown up tri-lingual. I also have brain glitches and cannot pronounce some words. The list of glitches for most people is fairly short. My husband corrects me. I repeat after him but sometimes the glitch remains. I am not doing it to irritate him. He is not doing his corrections to irritate me.

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

the story where the husband is unemployed and annoyed with her zoom meetings? What exactly is he doing! She’s lazy? You’re unemployed! He probably is having an affair and her being home interrupts that

[@lorifiedler13]

Tell him to get headphones.

[@sbh2888]

The minute she threatened to call the police is the minute she lost free babysitting. Done

[@Keyonne88]

Yup; 1) didn't trust you at all, which means you don't trust me with your kids, so I'm out. 2) I'm your sibling; if you can't believe what I'm saying, knowing your kid is young and lies, then this won't work out. 3) rather than be rational and bring up the cameras, she escalated - done!

[@rollothecat2010]

This was so good a video. So many issues were addressed by the stories Markee picked. Many were vital issues too. Quality of life issues. I wish everyone could have the best quality of life available to them but life is sadly too frequently unfair.

[@littleflame5530]

The unemployed husband needs to find a job. He maybe trying to cheat on you. He is trying to annoy you enough to go back to work so he cheat on you.

[@NOGREATNAME]

Ohh man spending an hour applying to jobs that’s sooo stressful gotta relax after that

[@kristinwiebold2433]

Op YTA. You know your gf has a specific way she puts her laundry away. It does t take that long to fold or hang laundry. When u cram laundry in a dresser, it makes it hard to open the dresser, wrinkles the clothes and makes the person put the clothes through dryer with a wet wash cloth to get wrinkles out you werent doing anything that important.

[@snowythealicorn5784]

You know what else? He could have done what 90% of people do while folding laundry. Watch tv WHILE working

[@kyriacarica5862]

Bridezilla BFF sounds jealous that OP is pregnant, so she retroactively made that rule. Either that or she has a thing for OP's fiancé and she's super salty. Hope OP tells her "I won't go to this wedding or your next one." 😂

[@MatrixDownload5150]

To give you an idea my neighbor thought his wife was mispronouncing Tamales as he overheard her from outside! He went and got tamales for ten people not realizing that it was my name Tamala! He was the sweetest guy!

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

Moms don’t realize the effect of their words and actions. My mother forced me to clean and do things like make me hand-wash my dad’s underwear. She wanted things organized her way and if it wasn’t perfect, she’d mess up all my work and make me do it all over again. I hated cleaning. I swore that I would never again clean because someone else wanted me to, but because I wanted to do it. I don’t spend much time on my house and would rather pay for a cleaning lady to come and clean my house for me. Like, I have cleaning PTSD.

[@angelicakaufman7183]

The idea that the unemployed guy sitting in the living room is super annoyed because his woman is working and having zoom meetings and he can hear them.. This is why I hate people

[@priscillaromero2305]

Hubby did good providing for the daughter. Maybe he has even seen something in wife's personality 🤔

[@lorifiedler13]

Then maybe he should just divorce her.

[@sharonconnolly3820]

He can have the whole apartment, and he can express his stress increase to the therapist.

[@suellendodd8076]

where is her dad?? You do not have an obligation to step daughter..this kind of reminds me of the one where the OP was paying for her wedding ..everything..his family and friends slowly became uninvited as her bio dad showed up suddenly..so step dad ended everything told her bio dad can pay for it!!

[@laurenc4138]

Lol “I spent almost a whole hour on career builder and she wanted me to do something but I needed to relax… just because she was working as a nurse, during a panny she thinks my hour long job hunt isn’t tiring, am I the AH?” Bro seriously!

[@lorifiedler13]

One hour on job search/applications? So, 1, maybe 1.5 applications. I spent 8 hours a day looking for jobs and applying. Even having my resume formatted so the computer could grab info automatically, it still took lots of time.

[@laurenc4138]

@@lorifiedler13 exactly! My company shut down in my state so instead of moving I started job hunting and an hour is literally maybe, MAYBE 1 or 2 applications. That person is lazzzzy and doesn’t want a job let’s be honest lol

[@carlrood4457]

Remember, there was a time people literally had to "pound the pavement", i.e. go door to door to fill out applications, to find a job. He literally lost me with that sentence.

[@skyelindsey687]

I don’t understand why people frown upon prenups. It’s a “just in case” document, especially since almost half of all marriages end in divorce. You can also include clauses such as “if they cheat then the prenup is voided” or “the partner that initiates the divorce has to pay the other X% of their income until they are stable.” It’s to protect you and your partner just in case they or you screw up. Edit to add: And depending on your state it would make the divorce process a million times easier. Especially if you have the custody agreement prewritten into the prenup should there be any kids. Again with a clause to void it should the divorce be due to DV or CA.

[@Nope148]

Wow, call me out why don't you! :p I have ADHD and I will STILL ignore the bathroom urge until it's an emergency, lol. NTA, because duh, 90 minute timeout for being a loud small child is crazy talk

[@kirtemoon529]

The second one about the laundry the dude is 100% YTA, and this is comforting from someone who *doesn’t* fold my laundry and I just cram it in my drawers. Like I know for a fact that, before my sister started separating her laundry from the communal laundry day my and my parents have, she prefers her laundry folded. I would fold her laundry on my days to fold. Dude doesn’t care about his girlfriends preferences at all.

[@izba5747]

The story about autistic child and mom's boss made my cry. Both are so nice.

[@QueentDB]

Don't ever trust a spouse to manage your child's inheritance. I know many couples who messed up their children's inheritances left behind by their dead spouse.

[@narageaedeon7845]

The one with the kid with ADHD 90 minutes is way the hell too long for any child for a time out. I had a teacher that did the same thing to me when I was in second grade I’m 40 and I still have nightmares about peeing my pants in public

[@damien678]

Husband Doing Therapy: he's a cop, isn't he? this kinda aggression... I swear... like, yeah, that really does call for therapy 😨 EDIT: lmao listening to the end of the post.... I have multiple friends with literal Dissociative Identity Disorder, as well as Borderline Personality Disorder, and their therapy sessions only go for an hour 💀 and they go every few weeks/every month. That man is way too sus

[@annajapiassu306]

i got bpd and some other fun (/s) mental issues and my therapy sessions are only one hour a week so this dude is definitely hiding something

[@pansprayers]

Even in a residential facility environment, therapy doesn't go on like this. A dear friend of mine who found herself in one for almost a year had individual therapy twice a week on Monday and Friday, and group on Wednesday. The rest was devoted to coping skills, medical care, and recreation. And that's in a secure environment. This guy isn't doing therapy.

[@kiarastardust]

I have seveare anxiety and i'm also autistic and my therepy sessions are only an hour long once every two weeks. A real therepist would have multiple patients they need to see and thus not go on for hour with one patient.

[@ZombieSazza]

I’ve cPTSD & PTSD and autistic, I meet a PTSD specific therapist and have one hour long session every 2-4 weeks depending on how busy her schedule is, I’m mostly bedridden disabled and paid government disability so don’t work so will work around my therapists busy schedule, she would not recommend having a session for 4 hours long, several days a week, because A) she’s not a psychopath B) you need time to process your thoughts and feelings from your session and need a cool down period between these sessions. I reckon he’s gambling and that’s why he’s slamming the laptop shut, but I really hope OP runs for the hills as he’s extremely controlling and volatile and I’m worried about her

[@eldeano9964]

Love how even the ex barista was self aware of the pretentiousness of other baristas and coffee snobs. OP should just reply to her husband with a dead-eyed shrug everytime. 'EGGSPREZZO'

[@SilverMKI]

"Improperly diluted bean juice!"

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

Rofl OP spent ONE hour out of the day applying for jobs and needed the other TWENTY THREE to relax? No wonder he has no job

[@margaretsnewtoylynnparks5336]

Therapy Sessions equal AFFAIR.......

[@missyjune9014]

So husband is lazing about and complaining YOU are making income for the household. Talk about being a "sugar-spouse"!!!!

[@ericmishima]

I swear .. I heard "9" minutes. And I thought that was way too long for a 4 year old who was playing "too loudly". 90! 90! WTF

[@Unstoppable_Unicorn]

90 MINUTE TIME OUT?!?! For a child?!!! Wtf

[@raz7573]

Story 3. Wait! The unemployed hubby is saying his wife is “too lazy” to go to the office? SMH

[@TheIronwil]

Over-eating son: NTA, but I'm glad they found better ways to go about it. My son had a problem with eating too much as a child, and it got to the point of being seriously obnoxious. I had to tell him to back off from his sister's plate, because he'd finish his own and then start trying to eat hers. He was about 12 at the time, and started developing large man-breasts. At some point action needs to be taken, before a child becomes morbidly obese.

[@sbh2888]

The story about the adults who put a child in time out and then didn’t let him use the bathroom: 2 things are obvious: 1. What they did is abuse 2. They hate him. To me it is so clear. Forget the punishing for being loud, a punishment so severe for a young child, the not allowing to use the restroom, which is extremely unhealthy and causes infections (the uncle thinks he learned how to hold it in? What is he, a dog? Let the uncle see how long he can hold it in!), but what stood out the most was that when they realized he couldn’t hold it in, and he did pee, what did they do? They called you at a friend’s funeral (how dare your husband be responsible for a child and turn his phone off), and then LEFT HIM IN THE WET CLOTHES!!!! They have kids! They have clothes! And if they didn’t have clothes, put poor boy in the bath, then wrap him up in a nice hot towel or blanket or oversized shirt or sweater, and wash his clothes! OP, I don’t like this couple, and I think your husband is an a**hole. That’s your baby. Forget everything else. They were mean and didn’t treat him right and I wouldn’t just be angry, I would be rip-roaring, losing my shit, attacking everything and everyone. I would NEVER be around them again, let alone let them around my kid. I would tell my son that they are mean people for what they did and we don’t have to play at the mean people’s house again. And if you are forced to be around them in social settings, I would totally ignore them. If anyone argues with you, tell them to go drink three bottles of water. Then go into the corner. Wait there 270 min, or 4 and a half hours (the equivalent of what it felt like for a four year old with ADHD) doing absolutely nothing. Then, after they pee on themselves, make them sit in it for three hours (again, the equivalent of your son’s experience), and after all that, if they still think you are over reacting, then you will THINK about apologizing. That seems fair to me. Your in laws are total trash. Edit: I believe the reason the husband is siding with them is because he probably had to BEG them to take him, which is why they were so angry when he was noisy and even angrier when he had an accident. So when it didn’t work out, and they got angry at him, so he turned it on his wife. A**hole. Edit 2: The more I think about it, the more I think it was actually longer than 90 minutes.

[@lorifiedler13]

I want to know what was so damn important that the stepdad couldn't watch the kid. OP should go back after she gets divorce papers.

[@pamelajohnson6425]

I would have absolutely gone scorched earth over this! Hubby/stepdad says "don't come home until you apologize". I'm coming straight home to pack...HIS bag, and tossing it out the door with him right behind it! Then contacting a lawyer, both to file for divorce and to inquire about any abuse or neglect charges that can be filed against the in-laws, or at least an investigation with cps. A 90 minute time out for playing, refusing bathroom use to A FOUR YEAR OLD, then making him sit in wet clothes, is beyond cruel, abusive, and just plain evil. And notice that the husband never said what his "emergency" was, that conveniently happened as soon as OP left, and required him to turn off his phone? I'd bet money said emergency didn't want her existence known to OP. Both OP and her son will be safer and better off after the divorce.

[@SingingMermaid4]

I honestly think the hubby's emergency was a hook up with an AP. He refused to say what the emergency was. You can be vague about emergencies with your work, NOT your spouse! I hope OP left them all behind

[@SilverMKI]

Was hoping for an update to the therapy for a million hours story.

[@jdd9993]

Why is OP's mom forcing her young son to go to a BUSINESS dinner with strangers? He has enough challenges with his condition and there is no reason for him to attend.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

4hr counseling sessions? Multiple days of 4hr counseling sessions? Tf? No. Either he is bad enough to be in patient services, or he's addicted to the sessions, or he's cheating and there's no counseling happening. Regardless, he's disrespectful, aggressive, and ramping up the inconvenience factor. Separate rooms or separation needs to happen. His attitude is to much, and OP deserves better.

[@damien678]

Espresso Story: NTA, languages are constantly evolving and thus changing. I've heard a majority of people (both in real life and in media) say "ex-presso". If it's not already an accepted proper pronunciation of the word, it will be. I get if he feels hurt over her not being interested, but this is *so* petty and just a nitpick. He's being intentionally annoying. This isn't how most people would, in good faith, try to get their partner interested in a new hobby of theirs.

[@mariah4531]

It's weird though. English speakers can say especially, why not espresso??

[@loosilu]

Ugh, there is no reason why English speakers can't say it correctly. To me it sounds poorly educated.

[@Lady.B0420]

This comment is so asinine. How hard is it to say espresso? Imagine if we start altering language because people are too lazy to learn how to enunciate.

[@loosilu]

@@Lady.B0420 Thank you. "Expresso" hits me ear the same as "nukular" and "realator."

[@lynsthoughts3576]

NTA inherited property is NOT marital property in MANY STATES

[@kyab2815]

The story where the stepdad left the son with the silver: when the silver husband said the boy should be old enough to hold it I went back and checked the time. Then I checked the age. Wtf expects a 4yo to hold it for an hour and a half???? Wtf. Condition or no that's way longer than a toddler can hold it after they get the need. Yeah they don't have to go every hour but once they need to go you got maybe 15 minutes. On top of that 90 minutes?? For a 4yo that's absolutely insane. For any child that's way over the top for "being loud". Any time outs that last more than like 30 minutes better have a hell of a blatant intentional dangerous misbehavior behind them

[@ettinakitten5047]

I'm a grown adult and I'm not 100% sure I could hold for 90 minutes. Especially after having a kid...

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Hey Markee 👍 Hello everyone 👋😃🤗😎

[@eri-chan1943]

Hi!

[@alicewalker4052]

Hiya 😃

[@hel117]

As someone with severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation who has been in therapy since middle school, 4+ hours a week is NOT normal. That is more than is typical even for someone who is actively in crisis, as it is not healthy either for the patient or the therapist.

[@ramonasalden9926]

NTA Get rid of husband--it will get much worse

[@rmhartman]

I assume mama already knew you didn't like peas. if it was so important, why did she make a dish with peas?

[@lorifiedler13]

It wasn't about the 7yo lying. It was about the sister not trusting and believing OP.

[@sarahmotilal5088]

Your friend who doesn't want your fiance at her wedding, she's in love with him.

[@sweetluvgurl]

Yeah, with the husband supposedly doing therapy, 3-4 hours in a day is excessive for a therapy session. Therapy sessions last maybe up to an hour. Immediately, all I could think was he’s probably lying about what he’s actually doing during that time. Maybe one hour of that actually is therapy, but not sure what he’s doing during the rest of that time.

[@Khaisz.]

27:10 The wedding "only married or long term couples" >but we are a long term couple of 10 years "yeah but that's too long" Lmao

[@carolroberts4614]

My partner and I have been together for thirty years now without being married, should I tell him we're not serious?

[@mariella2884]

TW: childhood trauma In regards to the story of the child lying about food I'm so torn. As a child I once went to my teacher with these complaints. Sadly the true issue wasn't that there was no food, but that my stepmum was already convincing me into an ED. (Age 9) I had no way to conceptualise what was happening and couldn't properly explain. I was called a liar and drama queen. Just because a child tells a lie, it doesn't mean there isn't more there. By the next year I was pulling out my own hair because of her emotional a*use. I began lying to cover up the abuse I was doing to myself (losing hair, cat scratches not cutting) Big big props to the teachers on that post! Clearly they pay attention and that's what every child deserves. ❤

[@rmhartman]

the kid is seven, but the mother/sister is not. tell her that you are not not sitting again because of the kid, you are not sitting again because of her.

[@Nikkisoffice]

I have 2 therapists. I never see them the same day never mind back to back. I could not handle that. He is not in therapy

[@2swordsramires843]

I luv word police. I luv saying more better when I know it drives people crazy. Or irregularless. Keep at it. Have a blast with him.

[@rollothecat2010]

LOL. Yes, there are word police. Husband is going overboard.

[@lauracottom7425]

There are so many stories on here about mothers/ fathers who use their kid’s money that they are supposed to be holding for the child. NTA You handled it right.

[@anitastafford6617]

Exactly. He dies and she married a hobo sexual that uses her child's inheritance for their own or she split it with her step kids! He'd be completely incompetent to leave his wife in charge of his daughter's inheritance.

[@ArthropodJay]

need this 2 hrs rn, i feel sad.

[@sharonconnolly3820]

CPS is not out of the question. New address is reasonable. Ask the attorney to secure a divorce quickly

[@izzisart]

Expresso story: Coming from a person who can't pronounce mayonnaise without serious concentration (and English is my only language) I really feel like the husband is being way too picky. People pronounce things differently, it's just how we are. Admittedly if you're attempting to speak a certain language and just not trying with the pronunciation it might be an issue; but in this case, it's a fairly common pronunciation and the husband knows exactly what she means, so it's not really an issue.

[@lilywong9672]

Next time they're driving together, she should tell hubby she'll be taking the eSpressway just to make him mad lol.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP NTA. A 90 min time out is crazy and be said he had to use the bathroom and they should have listened. The fact that they knew he had disabilities, it makes their treatment sound even worst. Not saying that it gives your son rights to be bad though. I would be mad at them too but even madder at husband.

[@cianap.281]

The "espresso" husband had a choice between leaving OP alone or nagging, and he chose nagging. OP isn't hurting anyone and he's not defending himself in any way, so pretending that he's being "attacked" is way more obnoxious than saying "expresso."

[@mothergoose9383]

That's not the word, though. She is being stupid and lazy. Just say it right.

[@cianap.281]

@@mothergoose9383 Nope, you're allowed to be harmlessly stupid and lazy in your own home without people jumping up your ass about it.

[@mothergoose9383]

@@cianap.281 Why? That's pathetic.

[@cianap.281]

@@mothergoose9383 No need to justify or explain in one's own home when you're not hurting anyone.

[@mothergoose9383]

@@cianap.281 Except when you share that home and intentionally mispronounce a word repeatedly. That's ignorant and arrogant.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

Therapy is 45min-1h max.....

[@ShanaMoe]

The dude with the therapy sessions is most likely talking to some Russian camgirl lmao

[@rollothecat2010]

Driving in San Francisco is really difficult. And parking is difficult too. It is really hard to drive there and park there too. Parking is very expensive. I understand that this is true in NYC too and even more expensive to park. Probably true in other cities too. The uber driver should have moved his car when asked.

[@JanieBgrand]

The gf who’s a nurse and the guy looking for a job… That cannot be legit. No one is that dumb!

[@jpbaley2016]

1st story - OP just call it coffee. That’s what it.

[@jusaminit]

Wasn't there a movie about that something like that girl wanted to be her, like take over the woman's life in New York city I think it was the '90s

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

Inheritance story: NTA. Dad is protecting his little girl from future stepdad. Can see this coming from a million miles off.

[@VidGirl88]

I see this is the thick-headed spouse Edition. excellent

[@bricksloth6920]

Petty is telling people they have to practice saying foreign words or they're an asshole. It's not somebody's name. It's not hurting anyone if OP says expresso.

[@its-laila9867]

Didn't realise you can get sued for backed up child support for a child you didn't know existed .... But okay

[@lauracottom7425]

Watch the movie Single White Female. Be careful and afraid. You may block her but that may not be enough.

[@speakevermore]

I was a barista for 2 years and the "expresso" thing bothers me too. I dont go around correcting strangers, but for some reason my dad always mispronounces it to provoke me when i visit for holidays. Even though i've stopped engaging and just ignore it, he still starts an argument about it every time

[@ruthhenderson5413]

Maybe he's not trying to provoke you. Maybe he's trying to teach you a life lesson about not thinking you are superior to others, or maybe he just enjoys the cute curl of your lip when you sneer.

[@kyncr]

The translation for the corn one is "grains."

[@lorifiedler13]

A timeout of 90 minutes? Holy shit. That in itself was wrong.

[@Jax_Destro]

I had a similar incident when I was a little kid, around 7 or 8. My mom's boyfriend at the time had me in time out for something, I don't recall what, and I ended up needing to pee. I told him and he refused to let me go, leading to me wetting myself. I can tell you from my experience that that type of thing is traumatic for a little kid. I still remember the way it made me feel 20 years later. Luckily my mom had my back and tore into him when she found out. OP, if you read this, do not for one second think you are in any way an asshole for anything. Do not allow your husband to back you down.

[@sandyr-w6906]

34:39 i would have said the same thing. Except I would havevsaid it slightly differently......"I'll apologize only in your wildest dreams...and maybe not even then. A child is supposed to be standing in a corner for minute for each year of their age.5 yrs old is 5 minutes. I seriously doubt that the child was 90 yrs old Besides that, denying a child use of the bathroom is aVERY cruel.

[@BankruptMonkey]

Most people where I live call it "expresso" with the x sound, her husband is just being pretentious

[@Justme-so2bo]

OP this sounds like the Lifetime movie the single white female be safe and get out of that whatever that toxic Phantom eship