AITA For Refusing To Disclose How Much I Make To My Boyfriend?

[@yves13]

I was in the military, and when I joined I was told that if you sleep with somebody else that you not married to you could end up in jail for up to 10 years. The reason why the military frown is if you are willing to betrayed the person you married to you might betray your country too

[@MrsWheezer]

Yep! OP let them off lightly. They could have wound up divorced and imprisoned, rather than divorced and poorer.

[@ddcyn9513]

If someone betrays an oath they willingly made to another, how can they be trusted to follow any order forced on them by others?

[@duanesamuelson2256]

@@MrsWheezer divorced, loss of rank, loss of security clearance thus no more reactor tech job etc. Not to mention under UCMJ dishonorable discharge.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Too bad Congress and other political officials aren’t held to the same standards

[@lonewanderer8743]

I have not seen a single adulterer do time at least in the U.S. and I was in for 20 years. Reduction and/or separation from service sure, but never brig time unless there were other issues tied to it like domestic violence and you see those cases a lot.

[@-MaryPoppins-]

My ex husband hired prostitutes while I was deployed, his friends kept the secret, AND THEN I ended up getting pregnant when I got back (I have pcos AND was on birth control, so she was coming one way or another 🤣). If I’d been told BEFORE I had her (they told me after she was born because they felt so guilty), I would have gone a whole different way in life. STOP giving cheaters a safe harbor. Tell. The. Spouse/partner.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

I hope your daughter got all of your ex’s good traits and you dumped the rest the rest of him. Thank you for your service.

[@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681]

Uh huh whatever you say bi tch

[@brookerevell8707]

@@Lily_of_the_Forest I uriqao😅Opinions and k Movii a k😅m

[@marionmarshall8438]

I had fun throwing mine out, the look on his face was priceless.

[@urbanscholar00]

The absolute boss move was he made them call the spouses in front of them. 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽 sorry your ex husband and his friends were shit but glad you made him your ex ❤

[@susanminer2088]

Janet made the turkey. She just served it at her own house, where none of these people were invited. Janet doesn’t even know these people.

[@donnapike5752]

😅

[@speakevermore]

I'm always so proud of the people who post about relationships, listen to the advice in the comments, and then actually leave their abusive partners

[@IzzyPR2010]

It's also amusing to see the AH who post expecting people to go on their side and instead they get based.

[@hel117]

"Undermining his authority" "he's the head" "You made him look small" Everything about this story reeks of misogyny and entitlement. So he's allowed to volunteer his pregnant wife's time and energy, demand that she take time off of work to cater to his family, etc without asking permission or even giving a heads up, but her calling off the plans without asking him is "Out of line"? That's a double standard if I ever saw one. Also? No sympathy for people who thinks being a guest means you are entitled to being waited on hand and foot. Heck, when I'm a guest I go out of my way to be helpful because I appreciate my host's hospitality and I don't want to take advantage of people who are doing me a kindness...

[@janet6421]

That hand written apology should include divorce papers and an apology for ever allowing that "man" to reproduce.

[@ashleyn.9166]

"The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants."

[@youarehere594]

Tell him that as the head of the family and the head of the household, he should be bringing home the income if he wants her to stay home and do home things. If he wants to bring stereotypes into it, then toss it right back to him. Hopefully with divorce papers, but either way, call him out on his lack of being able to provide for the family.

[@hel117]

@@ashleyn.9166 Are you saying that because you think that (outdated and mysogynistic) concept is right or are you commenting on their worldview?

[@Fiery_Latina_Goatchan_GF_681]

All i see in your comment is you being a sexist and the OP being greedy

[@ttrev007]

Instead of a hand written apology i would send him divorce papers

[@paulineisme]

The story about the addict mother getting better for her kids, those two are just so awesome. I keep comparing to other posts with separated parents where the op is always like "MY children this and MY children that" and here those two are, fighting an addiction together, fostering an amazing relationship between all parties, new wife sounds cool too, damn I just feel happy for these people, I hope the mother beats her addiction.

[@muggensvalentine]

The OP whose partner is constantly bringing up the ex.....NTA. He was exactly the same with the ex you can be sure. She's probably just a normal nice person (she still helps him with recipes and such) and she probably just got sick of him gaslighting her. You need to find someone that appreciates what a gem you are because this guy does not. It's one thing to talk about your exes in the context of 'this is what happened between us and this may be why I react to some things so I hope you can be patient with me' but it's another to constantly compare to the point of belittling your current partner who 'doesn't do things the way my ex did'. They are exes for a reason so if she was so amazing why isn't he still with her? Because she got sick of his shit that's why.

[@mainegardenguy703]

Underwear wife should learn about sexual harassment. If a guy did this they would be arrested in the spot.

[@TrumpetsGalore4]

33:00 "If she doesn't consider [staff] 'real people's then I have no idea what she thinks of me...since I'm no richer than her staff." Her immediately laughing at your discomfort regarding her actions says exactly what she thinks of you. Run. Run far away.

[@pamelapearson3357]

If my husband/partner complains about how I cook or clean, I tell them they can do it themselves and I don't cook or clean that again

[@-Foxy-Fox-]

💯 especially when the delivery feels obnoxious. I'm all about working together, though If they're truly bothered they have 2 hands , 2 feet and are perfectly capable and able bodied. Referencing his ex repeatedly was his first mistep, then calling ex so he could direct her and then comparing the underwear she bought. F that. It sounds like he's definitely not over his ex. He could of delivered those suggestions in a way where it never would've made it to reddit it the first place. They're not even on the same page to work together. Sounds like it's doomed for failure while one foot is stuck in the past.

[@thefallenmonk605]

That's what I have learned. I don't complain because if I do it's cereal for weeks. Lol

[@BeautyBeastRC]

If my wifey asks me to add something to a recipe I say okay and try it. Maybe I'm just an adult.

[@T_P_W_ThachoZenjuan]

This. My kids think I'm a beetch for doing this, but, I just pointed out the facts that I'm not helping them learn and thrive as adults if I keep doing everything for them. Also, this attitude helped the ex remove himself. Trash took it's self out. Win!

[@vvexen6112]

Nice, but if I was with you and this happened, you still gotta cook and clean for yourself cause I'll clean my stuff and cook only for myself

[@josepherhardt164]

10:20 "She asked if we were going to get strippers." A: "Only if they know how to play D&D ..." 16:08 "I thought Janet was bringing the turkey." CLASSIC. And, following through with that took BRASS ones.

[@ZombieSazza]

“I thought Jenny was bringing the turkey” Absolute hero, my favourite legend. Boyfriends family clearly isn’t worth the hassle and I’ve no doubt they’d have criticised your food anyway tbh, and honestly, don’t even think your boyfriend is worth the hassle considering he doesn’t has a spine.

[@raz7573]

I saw this story on Reddit and some people called OP the AH because “she knew what she was doing and knew there were be no turkey there” I was like WTH? I would have done the same thing “oh I thought ‘Rose’ was bringing the turkey. Silly me…. I was wondering who ‘Rose’ was”.

[@rollothecat2010]

@@raz7573 I thought OP was what I heard recently: a Justified AH. The family treated her badly including her boyfriend. OP stood up for herself magnificiently.

[@-Foxy-Fox-]

Totally justified 🤣😭

[@janicevango5791]

@@rollothecat2010: I agree - total legend! You can just imagine them sitting around their cauldron. OP is well rid of that sorry lot. They got what they deserved and you don’t want to put up with that behaviour throughout your relationship.

[@nousernamesarevalid]

@@raz7573 Then add. I can’t wait to meet Rose. Bfs mom talks about her all the time. I’m so excited to finally meet her!

[@ZombieSazza]

They are in the Navy and understand the consequences of their actions, they had an affair, they lied to their spouses, this is 100% on them. NTA.

[@platinum_noelle]

If someone deliberately called me by a different name, I'd just stop responding. If they made an upset, I would ask them why it's so hard to remember names. To the MIL directly, I'd ask if it's her age starting to make her forgetful, and if she should get checked for dementia or alzheimers as she's "clearly" getting up there in age lmao With the cancer sister story, ask the parents how often they've cheated on each other to have such a "forgiving" mindset. After all, they have to be speaking from experience rather than from their own ass, right? Right?

[@hwangbigdong]

One about girlfriend not covering herself: She's literally exposing herself to others without consent. She went out of her way to greet somebody with no pants on. And she classist on top of that?? Wow.

[@rollothecat2010]

That girlfriend has money but she is a trashy human being to treat staff that way. As someone pointed out, if she was a man, she would be considered to be committing a form of sexual assault on the other people (indecent exposure, like a man in a raincoat exposing himself to strangers).

[@hel117]

Right? Heck, I think it's even worse since these are people who are being payed to be there, meaning that for them this is there professional environment, plus that makes a built in power imbalance and they cant call her out when they are uncomfortable with her not dressing appropriately for meeting new people (in this case not even being fully dressed at all). This is not a jealous boyfriend issue, this is a 'treating other people with basic respect' issue.

[@janet6421]

Man delivering a package met by a woman in a see through dress. Am I the only one thinking this sounds like p0rn?

[@hwangbigdong]

@@janet6421 It sounds like she has a weird disgusting fetish

[@Soul.Resonant]

@@janet6421 nah, i instantly thought of a piece of art i saw on a certain site

[@ZombieSazza]

Re the husband demanding a written apology, the sexism is very strong here. I would straight up leave, he’s showing you so many red flags that you could mistake it for the USSR.

[@BMakabre]

Does husband dress like a Victorian gentleman to match his attitude?

[@aimies]

@@BMakabre does he even act like a gentleman in the very least lmao

[@YariP94]

China feels envy from those red flags 😅

[@The_Haunted_Librarian]

As a former sailor, this is pretty much the standard punishment for infidelity. This is an offense covered by the UCMJ. They knew this was a possibility when they hooked up knowing they were married to other people.

[@sandraliberty1355]

The lice kid story literally got me tearing up😢 It's so sad that that family had to go so far out of their way and spend a lot of money for someone else's child, but incredibly heart warming at the same time. What wonderful people to do something so kind and selfless to help a neighborhood kid. I hope his parents clean up their act.

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Nta. She is being clingy. It is a guys night. The compromise was a good one.

[@TheBusyHoneyBee]

I'd get a third job, get government help, start a go fundo me, beg adult family members for help if I had a sick child before asking a child to work to help pay for their sibling's health care.

[@markedwards3647]

re 14 y-old sister: It's an understandable reaction for these parents to oppose family therapy. They KNOW they are parenting badly, and don't want to acknowledge that fact, and most especially will refuse to change anything they are doing.

[@mothertrucker936]

S1: NTA never tell ANYONE how much you make. It’s none of anyone’s business. The minute you tell, he’ll try to have you buy sht for him or pay debts. Nope. None of his business. When you’re married, then yes before that, big big NO. Your past experiences speak for themselves. Not even one year and he’s antsy to know what’s in your bank account. Why exactly? What difference does that make to his life? You go Dutch when you date so you’re not taking advantage of him or stopping him from being successful. Remain quiet.

[@Dawghome]

@mothertrucker936... that's exactly what I was thinking absolutely, they're not married and sometimes we also learn from the past, not just recover from what may be deemed traumatic, like we're fully responsible for recovering from said trauma, as if we are to blame if we carry & apparently 'dont learn' from it, just as we, or some of us do not agree that brushing it under the carpet is the best for all and or some! So, if you haven't asked for all his financial incomings and outgoings, yet he is not just asking but insisting....I don't care about anyone's past, yours included it's making me feel antsy and I'm not dating him! If he can't explain why he needs privileged information, then there's a pretty good chance this alone may be a red flag and not worthy of burying alive, it's a 👎

[@mothertrucker936]

@@Dawghome never let the love bug make you lose good sense. Stay firm.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: NTA "It's been a year and you haven't told him? YTA for not trusting him even though he's your partner" that's exactly the issue though. It's only been a _year,_ why is he asking about her salary? I wouldn't want to disclose that right away either, not until I know they're not only with me for money reasons. Even then you can't be certain, you'd be surprised by the amount of people who can be with someone for years then suddenly change and become greedy once they realize how much money they _could_ be getting but aren't and act like they're entitled to it

[@WobblesandBean]

Exactly. It's fine that he asked in the first place, but it's kinda creepy that he's so INSISTENT. But once again, Reddit is full of brainlets with a room temperature IQ.

[@NYLazyme]

But wouldn't it be better to know if he's only there for the money sooner rather than later? So that she could walk away if that was the case

[@superrooster18]

If he was there only for the money you think he would have waited an entire year??

[@seleneyue]

They're both sketchy. He shouldn't ask for exact amount or be insistent but as her partner he deserves to at least know what company she works for and what she does

[@CalamityM]

I don't understand yanks talking about how much money they make all the time. In other countries it's considered rude to inquire about other people's income, and looked down upon as bragging if you're the one going around telling everyone how much you make. Just weird. Americans are so materialistic.

[@P1ranha__]

good timing! just finished a mark narrations video and was looking for another reddit video to listen to

[@ja5zyt.501]

😂😂 I just did the same thing. I love the Marks 😂

[@jennilynne1977]

Markee is the reason I started watching Mark Narrations. Markee said he was a fan, so I checked Mark Narrations out and am now a huge fan of the waffle king. Lol. Obviously I'm a fan of Markee too. They're half of the 4 KZbinrs I have to watch every day (there's 3 I watch that post daily and 2 others who post 1 or 2 times a week).

[@raz7573]

I love the Marks too!

[@ericaallisonc]

The Marks should do a collab of some sort. “Marks read Reddit”. 😂

[@gabethegay8566]

@@ericaallisonc yesss

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 1: NTA. It's ok for him to ask, but to be so insistent that you tell him _exactly_ how much you make is a red flag. Don't trust Reddit for relationship advice, trust me, the whole lot of them are incredibly toxic in most circumstances. The only thing I agree with is that you go to therapy to work on your trust issues.

[@cheallaigh]

a few months into a relationship? sure... more than a year and she wont even tell him what her job is? that's an issue.

[@darlieoneeleven]

@@cheallaigh No it is not. It depends on alot more info than we got here. Have you ever heard the old saying, "Walk a mile in my shoes."

[@superrooster18]

@@darlieoneeleven true, but he should know at least rough figures. Like how are they going to figure out finances ever???

[@cheallaigh]

@@darlieoneeleven i'm not talking how much she makes, but her actual job, she's told him nothing other than she works in tech. she's refused to even tell him "oh i work in a company as a say CAD designer." she doesn't even need to say the name of the company... yet she wont even tell him a job description beyond "i work in tech" after a year. she's dooming the relation from past traumas, without even giving the guy a chance. instead of dating she should seek to deal with what makes her so extremely untrusting. it's not a fair relationship to either of them.

[@Han-we7du]

@@superrooster18 If they don’t live together then the finances talk isn’t really needed, if they were moved in together then yeah I’d see your point. If they’re just meeting up for dates and going back to separate houses why would they need the finance talk.

[@adollahfiddy1015]

I very much appreciate when you do compilations! I imagine it takes a lot of time and effort to put this together, but thank you very much for doing it!

[@picklerick5116]

41:57 That's crazy to hear. My son's father was an abusive alcoholic. The day we left I saw how drunk he was and put my wallet (money, identification, mine/son's social security cards) and a slip of paper that I wrote numbers on into my pocket. That day he broke my phone and hit me repeatedly whilst I held a three month old. I ran out with my wallet, that piece of paper, and my baby and haven't looked back. If I hadn't thought to do that I would've had an extremely hard time getting all that replaced.

[@hel117]

"Not in front of Acctual People" WTF? People who are employed by you are still fully people and need to be treated with as much respect and decency as anyone else. That whole mindset is disturbing.

[@heleneclark563]

If she doesn’t feel that her staff is not “real people “, then how does she REALLY feel about you?

[@darlieoneeleven]

They are all wrong. If you don't live together, you need tell him nothing. If you live together I make my half the bill.

[@saratronus]

I get where you're coming from and yeah when it comes to money if you guys don't live together don't say anything but he generally doesn't know what she does for a living I got some of the 1st questions you asked when you're on a date It just feels weird not to tell your partner oh the day at the office was OK day. It just feels weird not to talk about your job with your significant other

[@neamhcridhe6475]

for the baby name story......i gave up my third son (not my ex husband's kid) because i knew i couldn't provide the life he deserved. i made the decision to give him to my ex husband's best friend and his wife. they had been married for quite a few years at this point and were never able to carry a baby to term. i let them decide everything that was involving him. they went to me to the ultrasound appointments and other doctor's visits, and they picked his name. they chose his middle name after their grandfather and had no idea it was also the name of my grandfather who passed when my oldest son was a year and 4 months old. they immediately said they would choose a different name if i didn't approve and i told him i was fine with it. it meant that i still had a part of my side of the family carried on in him. they insisted that i remain in his life and now that he's 12, he knows that i am his birth mother and that i don't love him any less just because i gave him up. he knows his two older half brothers and they know him. i wanted to give him a better life than what i could, having come from a messy divorce and his bio dad cheating on me. i wouldn't change that and would do it again if i was given the same choice.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

It’s so good to hear of stories where the adults act maturely and respectfully while always putting the needs of the child first using open communication. I’m glad you were all open with your shared child which I think is the best way to go since they then grow up incorporating it into their history and usually find it easier to accept the situation and don’t have to imagine things. People don’t realise how much children are capable of understanding and accepting as long as a) they feel loved and secure b) it is explained simply, honestly and straightforwardly.

[@elizabethvalenzuela4425]

The no turkey story….👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽!!!! Standing ovation! Bravo! That was a great eff you to them all! Good for her! I’d be celebrating!

[@Meeckle]

Heck. The helping the family one, definitely brought a tear to my eye!

[@debbiejoanhill1760]

Definitely not, HUGE RED FLAG, you,ve only been together for a year. You have only got his word for what he actually earns. Stay strong!

[@nellysmith6006]

He also doesn't pay for anything.

[@judiththoren6176]

Re: addict/depressed husband. We forgot CLOSE all joint accounts. Addicts take money from anyone

[@morganleanderblake678]

"but mine is the best of them all" there are invisible ninjas cutting onions in my office

[@mweathers79]

S2: The hero we all needed and deserved. Hats off to you OP, job well done sir.

[@melvinyoung3474]

She did say, JANET not JENNY will bring the Turkey. That is by far the best passive/aggressive compliance I've heard to date.

[@SilverLady52]

The turkey/Janet story. LOVED IT. Good for her 😂😂😂

[@Mscrimsondragon]

Barely Dressed GF story.. That one line says it all about her... "not in front of actual people". She doesnt think she should put on anything because to her, they are fixtures and not real people.

[@carlrood4457]

In other words, the parents REWARE her bad behavior. Why would she ever behave properly?

[@pa-pa-plasma]

13:00 i kinda wanna know if OP is actually communicating by saying "it upsets/bothers me when you do this" and the husband seriously considers it, or if they're being, like, very passive aggressive & sneaky about it, like "well why don't you ask your EX??" "you should add this to the recipe for no reason don't worry about it". it seems like neither OP or the husband knows how to properly communicate with each other and neither are listening either. if OP's SO wants a specific brand of underwear he can get it himself. if he wants a specific dish in a specific way he can cook it himself. he's an adult, not a child. if OP is hurt by the things their SO says, they should say it that clearly, "this hurts me." no passive aggression. no bottling it up until they burst, get highly emotional, and run away. no complaining & comparing. they're both assholes, though I'm leaning more towards the husband being the AH here simply because--who the HELL compares their ex to their current SO to their face???? pretty sure he never got the change to figure out how you actually treat another human being when in a relationship and the ex dumped him for that reason.

[@seleneyue]

OP with the Japanese GF: you felt your girlfriend would be "baggage" that hinders you from playing with your friends and she's picking up on those vibes. Maybe she thinks you're embarrassed of her so you don't want your high school friends to meet her? I would have told her there plans and that you guys would be playing games she's not interested in but she's still welcome to come, but you'd be okay with her finding other things to do. As it stands, you seem ridiculously dead-set against her coming, which feels really sketchy. If it were just the games, what's the problem?

[@saratronus]

It sounds like she's afraid of being alone in a new place with foreign people in my opinion why does he have to go the 1st day they arrive Like he could literally have done that in any time in the 2 weeks but he chooses the very moment they arrive to ditch her to hang with his friends it's kinda messed up

[@squirrel670]

My boyfriend and I are going to meet his online friend, but one day he was going to hang out with more of them and I asked if im coming to and he said of course, unless I didn't want to. He's like what, just have you sit somewhere else in the meantime? Lol. And this isn't even just some foreign country, its still awkward to go on a trip and just have to be somewhere else for no reason

[@omegasobsessions]

No one else was bringing partners, it was a “guys night” so no, it wasn’t a baggage issue. She knows his family, she wouldn’t have been with strangers. Out of 2 weeks he wanted 1 day with old pals, that 100% isn’t asking too much.

[@bluedragon8762]

Why is the gf unable yo be alone for one night? Is she a child? Is she going to need to be babysat and clingy every time?

[@Smallpotato1965]

Oh my god! He's going to have a buddy night with his old gamer friends and he has to drag his girlfriend along?! Why would any woman insist to tag along with EVERYWHERE with her man?! Doesn't she have girlfriends? Old friends from school with whom she has a 'girls night date' anytime soon? Y'know, the sort where they go have a manicure and facials and lots of gossip about the men in their lives? Would they enjoy it if this strange dude inserted himself in their reunion? Would she be annoyed if he accused her of not loving him if she ever dared to spend a few hours without her? Jesus Christ!! What insecure people! Tell your boyfriend to have fun and then do something *on your OWN*.

[@AJSSPACEPLACE]

OP2: Exposing an affair NEVER makes you the asshole.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 4: Why on earth are you with this awful man? Why can't you respect yourself enough to know you're worth more than this?

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

She's pretty unreasonable, too, though--"Hey baby, how do you want me to cook this dish?" "Oh, can you add curry?" "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!" Why make such an offer if you're gonna blow up at it?

[@lillgill156]

@@MrBrachiatingApe the thing is he’s not only asking it to be cooked a certain way but that he brings up his ex and compared them every chance he gets. If he simply just said “oh I prefer this brand of underwear” or “ I like my fish with curry” then she’d be the asshole, but that’s not what he’s saying.

[@ceciliacalvin207]

Story 1: partially the AH. How much you make is not his business, but you should tell him what you do.

[@Callimo]

Meh, even that's not his business. I think such an early relationship doesn't need such disclosure unless something illegal is going on.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@Callimo an entire year is early for you? They’re not on their third date. They’re a third of the way to marriage at this point

[@Vydio]

@@emilybarclay8831 Has there been a proposal? I usually told everyone what I did for a living. If there is serious talk of marriage it's time to disclose incomes. Debts as well.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@Vydio at a year in either you’re in it for the long run or it’s time to go separate ways. If OP doesn’t want to share any details about her life with her partner she clearly doesn’t want to be with him much longer

[@itazuranakisu]

@@emilybarclay8831 It depends on if they've been exclusive for that whole year and plenty of people can play a role for a year easily. Also she has a history of men taking advantage of her money so of course she's going to be far more cautious than other people. He keeps pushing and if it's that important to him he can leave the relationship so it's not a deal breaker to him at all. They aren't living together, no talks of marriage or moving in and they aren't engaged. Her saying she works in tech should be enough at this point and she has no idea if he's being truthful about his income but trusts him there. He's not bugging her about credit score or debts which should be more important since he knows she's employed, doing well and paying for dates. Likely he thinks she makes more than him and given her pattern he likely is another gold digger. She needs therapy to see if this is true and the cause of her falling for those sort of low lives.

[@Acidrain82]

Let him have his Christmas party. On Christmas day go visit a relative on you side of the family with you kid and leave him to handle his party

[@miminana-hd6nf]

has anyone ever thought that OP, who makes more money than her boyfriend, is concerned her boyfriend will start expecting her to pay for "toys" for him if he finds out? She is paying for almost everything when they go out, that is a huge red flag. I don't blame her. If this was flipped and it was a man who did not want to tell his girlfriend, who made a lot less than him people would be calling the woman a gold digger. The double standard is amazing.

[@happilyevernever4289]

It doesn't matter. She needs to give him the choice to see how he reacts. And how he reacts is on him, not her. Also he deserves to know as a common courtesy of dating her for so long. She will only be wasting his time and hers if she isn't brave enough to be honest with him and give initiation to build trust.

[@draumpje]

If you do not want to trust your partner with basic info like profession and even a ballpark figure of income Regardless of gender What the F are you doing on a relationship with that person ? Of you can or will not trust your partner The relationship in my opinion , sucks ass 🤷‍♀️ And this has nothing to do with one taking advantage of another Or changing expectations A relationship should be a partnership, where you should be able to feels safe to be yourself, where you can rely on each other and have each others back Not hide basic info from each other

[@SkyeLimelight]

It’s not a double standard, if she’s paying for dates it’s likely already known that she makes more and that’s a reasonable expectation of the partner who makes more. While we might expect the man to be the one to pay that was because men had typically always been the ones to make more, that however is changing.

[@williethomas6388]

NTA and if he keeps comparing you with his ex girlfriend stop being a doormat and dump TA.

[@dwightehowell8179]

I've had students named Allie and Ellie. They were both fine girls and good friends. I for one like those names. They are married women now. I see no reason to insult those names.

[@Totaltwist]

I think the ex who is a recovering drug addict needs serious props for putting her kids first by getting help and not half assing it. 2 years is Long time to be apart from your kids especially when it's clear she really loves them.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 2: NTA. They literally fμ¢ked around and found out.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

1. NTA...you are not married, you do not have children. NTA...but telling what carrier is fine, telling the number of how much money you have is a nope, unless you plan to raise a child together. A year is nothing to be honest..it is not like they are together for 10 years. He does not need to know how much she has, he is not paying for her lifestyle, she is independent...that is great. But not saying what is your job is sus a lot. I would not care how much my partner earns, but I would like to know what he does for work, just to avoid criminals for one...and to see if our lifestyle can be compatible.

[@sepywishes1120]

It’s about trust which she clearly lacks.

[@christicat221b]

I agree. Too many women in my life in multiple generations have been financially abused by their male partners. If I ever end up in a relationship I am never giving up access or info to my bank accounts unless we are making a group purchase and even then my money is going to a joint account we can both contribute to. I don't think I would mind telling what my job or salary is though, I feel like that doesn't really put ou at much risk, I could be wrong tho.

[@caleb8198]

It’s about trust, if she cannot trust her partner after a year time to break it off or get some therapy, she will never last in a relationship.

[@itazuranakisu]

@@sepywishes1120 He could easily lie about his income but she trusts what he says is true. Perhaps there is a reason she shouldn't trust. All her boyfriends had the same issues so it's possible she's picking the same sort of gold digger type. He knows she's employed, able to pay for dates, and is well off enough to maintain her independence/home. Why isn't he more interested in her credit score?

[@idaearl6715]

1st story: I see no problem with OP keeping finances to herself. She has been victimized before. I totally understand. Not the a**hole!

[@maemccleary3283]

NTA but...I feel like learning to establish healthy boundaries and building trust would be a better option than just being secretive. Like others have said it's about being able to have trust with someone who loves you.

[@nellysmith6006]

Literally the same. Especially considering she's already paying for pretty much anything.

[@rollothecat2010]

I had insomnia so I listened to this whole long episode. It was very good with some very interesting selections from Reddit AITA.

[@Markee]

Glad I could provide you some insomnia entertainment sea turtle 🐢

[@cre6881]

Navy guy: Military spouse who has been cheated in while spouse was on duty here. Thanks for being honest. So many commands will cover it up for the service member.

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

I feel like there as been versions of story 1 except op was a guy and was judged nta. Also on the Christmas gf on around 6:00, I feel like this is the second time I've heard it and the first time he might not have mentioned she was Japanese and got slammed in the comments when he revealed that. For those of you that don't know Christmas is more like a longer Valentines in Japan. So he was basically ditching her to spend time with friends on Valentine's in her eyes.

[@MrBrachiatingApe]

Could be, about story 1. Sexist double standards are nothing new on Reddit.

[@lilalion184]

Or maybe it's because OP's excuse was asnine. His reasoning is ONLY because she would have a hard time picking up games. He backtracks and says she speaks/understands English- just that she doesn't pick up games easily. Is that really a good reason not to take someone? OP did not say this was an exclusive trip just for the BOYS or just the friends without all their partners. Variations of the story always have different reasoning and the nature of the gathering is different. His reason here is just "I don't want you to meet them because you have a hard time picking up games." Lots of people's first language isn't english lol- that's not the issue, and OP backtracks that argument. But sure this is sexism lol. You can disagree with the judgment of reddit- but reasonable minds can disagree without them being sexist against men lol.

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

@@lilalion184 I was commenting about two different stories. I didn't say gender had anything to do with the Christmas one, I actually didn't finish listening to it as I already heard it's variation and just noticed this time he mentioned she was Japanese which adds a huge amount of context.

[@Soul.Resonant]

@@lilalion184 that’s probably not the only reason, after all its hard to get all your feelings of something out in text, so you just simplify them.

[@cindiemoore2530]

Just make sure to block him from your finances, addicts will do almost anything to get a fix. And this costs money. And it sounds like you have been supporting his addiction so far,now he doesn't have to pretend to be sober it will escalate quickly. When he can't get to money from the accounts he has been using the shit will hit the fan. Prayers for you and your daughters♡

[@bcase5328]

Another thing you could try before divorce is a 72 hour involuntary psychotic evolution, ground being his depression and withdrawal from the family. If he is really an addict (as well as depressed) that is likely to be caught by experienced professional staff.

[@ZombieSazza]

He’s being up his ex wife all the time, comparing you to her, giving you hassle, refuses to apologise, doesn’t think he’s in the wrong and honestly doesn’t seem to care about you at all, OP. He was probably like this with his ex wife as well, and from all these wonderful red flags, it’s very obvious why she’s his ex wife.

[@margaritawyatt5754]

Just a boyfriend NTAH why he’s so interested in how much they make? Even if you decide to marry this person take heed they noticed your expensive handbags, keep your account separate even if married bring to the table whatever they bring period .#2 tell him he doesn’t measure up to an ex

[@ghostybees6322]

That second one was really tricky, feels like a lot of context we'd be missing to say who's what in that one.

[@ZombieSazza]

OP needs to block his family, he helped his sister, she needed the help. She was abused, isolated, her family refused to help and deeply unhappy. He saved her from an abusive marriage, he did right by her.

[@josepherhardt164]

3:15 "A reactor mechanical guy and a reactor electrical girl were caught having sex in a store room ..." The jokes on this line just write themselves, e.g.: "She was just checking out his reactor control rod." "We were just exchanging thermal neutrons." "Reactor safety requires regular intercourse with all support personnel!" Etc.

[@Infernoraptor]

RE: The "mom at rehab" story that update feels like those feel-good videos of a veteran returning from war. (Which, it kinda is) OP and his wife are saints and I'm proud of the ex for being so strong.

[@Totaltwist]

Yeah I think the ex needs serious credit for not half assing her recovery journey.

[@summersands8105]

First story - you are not obligated to tell ANYONE about your finances. As a matter of fact, NEVER tell anyone about your finances. It's none of their business. He is NOT your husband or your fiance. He has no need to know how much money you make or how much money you have. Withholding what you do...bit much, unless you can't tell him because of what you do. At one point, I was not permitted to tell what my job was.

[@DFriendVideos]

Markee, in recent months I've given all of your videos a thumbs up. You're awesome. Thank you for the stories.

[@DemonAngel]

Speaking military: my now husband his ex-wife took everything in the house while he was deployed. And when I say she took everything she took all but the kitchen sink and the cupboards. That including his bank account. And she was cheating on him. I have no absolutely no sympathy for cheaters in any regard.

[@pkbarton8466]

NTA when going through hell don't stay. Misery loves company I am grateful you helped your sister get away. If your family is mad about it they can get away from the both of you.

[@annabordelon6663]

Cooking. Tell bf how he could improve in sex because your ex did it better, then walk out the door

[@raz7573]

LOL! That’s gold! 😂

[@katrinasamuels-garrison825]

Op told her boyfriend to let her know if he doesn't like something she cooks, then got mad when he told her he didn't like something she cooked. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@RedneckWarlock]

your channel was suggested to me today, as I listen to some similar channels. But damn, you have such a pleasant voice and are a great speaker, I love it. Definitely makes you stand out.

[@RockLikeAStone]

For adoption, as a woman who adopted out a baby. The bio mom can name the baby anything. When the adoption is complete the adopted parents are able to rename the baby on the new birth certificate.

[@lorifiedler13]

Re addicted husband. Call his therapist to let them know he may be using. Serve him divorce papers at his therapists office, just before his appointment.

[@avalineriley6809]

I'm legit confused about the YTA comments on the girl that doesn't tell her boyfriend how much she earns. I've been with my partner for 5 years and she doesn't know how much I earn nor how much I have in my savings and likely never will unless we get into marriage territory and even then my savings will be kept far away. I've never told a partner anything about my finances.

[@laurenmentink7401]

Story with military adultery = NTA. I am not in the military, and I don't think he did anything wrong. They are not supposed to have intercourse on the ship, and they did it anyway. They needed to be punished even if they had been married to each other.

[@confettiveda2460]

I don't get the comments on the Japanese girlfriend story. Like, it's one night out of a two week trip, I promise that he'll remember to come back in the morning. And I'm seeing a few comments in the KZbin comment section saying that OP thinks his gf is a burden? No?? He just wants a night with the boys he hasn't seen in a while, a partner attending changes the whole dynamic of the gathering.

[@shonagriffiths8907]

"Your grownups" works well in my experience working with schools and sounds quite cheery.

[@drea4195]

Story about the girlfriend who wanted to go on a trip with her boyfriend: he is NTA. This is a thing he has been planning with his friends presumably for years, before he even met her? That's a sacred thing. No, he shouldn't have to change his plans to include her when nobody else in his friend group is bringing their partners. He is correct, it's the group dynamic that they're trying to recapture, it's not supposed to be a bonding moment with SO. She needs to stay out of it for ONE NIGHT. Out of two weeks, one night...if she can't handle this, it's a red flag. Run, dude, run...

[@drea4195]

@@infjandcoping4614 when you're an adult lucky enough to still have friends from school days, you keep them by staying in touch and meeting up once in a while. You have your group rituals and in-stuff that you all do together, and you plan to keep meeting up regularly or semi-regularly so that you don't all lose touch and drift apart for too long. Yes, these things are promised years out sometimes. No partner should be trying to interfere with that.

[@dinkoz1]

The behavior of reactor staff is not only a problem of their spouses, it is also a big security problem if it is not solved ASAP because they are security lability open to blackmail

[@trishallain6503]

The girlfriend that has a huge problem with her boyfriend hanging out with friends for only 1 day is the A. Hole. I'm a woman and if I was given all sorts of choices like he gave her, and I still was having a temper tantrum then I would be greatly concerned about the relationship.

[@Ally.81]

I totally agree with the single mom about not bringing men home or meet the kid/kids. I am a single mom too (of two almost adult kids, wow I'm old😂) and in my last relationship of several years he only meet my kids 2 times, were friends on social media and talked with them while we had video calls(the relationship was mostly long distance due to living in different cities). But I agree people we date don't need to meet the kids unless it gets serious and you do need to see how they interact... ps:I wish I was in that restaurant I will had applaud OP making a bigger scene in the process probably 😁

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

I love this one! Toss all the patriarchy nonsense in the toilet. Make your home an Equalarchy - both spouses making decisions together to find peaceful compromises, not to keep vetoing the other’s wishes. Be a true team.

[@GoCoyote]

1:42:35. The woman who stood up for another mother who was struggling to take care of herself and her baby at a restaurant is a hero, and is the type of woman I would be proud of for speaking out. As a man and a father, I know how hard it is for mothers and fathers to work as partners to support each other. Did I like changing nappies? Of course not, but seeing as I do not have lactating breasts and could not feed my children that way, I did not mind changing nappies and taking care of our child to allow her to have as much of a break as possible when she was the primary food and comfort source for our infant children. I have always believed that standing by while an injustice is perpetuated is a form of condoning that injustice. While she could have possibly (but not necessarily) have found a better way to express support, we all do the best we can in any given situation, and cannot let perfection be the enemy of good. It is far better to speak up and apologize later, than to never speak up. While one may wish to avoid the embarrassment of being in the public spotlight, it is always worth it to stand up for what is right. As to breast feeding in public: While breasts are very nice parts of our sensual existence, their primary function is to feed our wonderful little cute-ness monsters. I remember when an airline made a woman breastfeed her infant in the bathroom, and she took them to court in California. The judge (male) ruled that a breastfeeding mother has the right to breastfeed her child anywhere, anyplace, and any time she feels it to be necessary, as long as SHE feels it is safe comfortable, and/or necessary to do so. She cannot be compelled to cover herself and her child, or be required to feed in someplace she does not like, such as a bathroom. The judge ruled that a mothers right to feed and comfort her child is primary, and trumps any discomforts that other people may have regarding her actions. Best court decision for that case that I could could even imagine.

[@ZombieSazza]

I understand not wanting to disclose exactly what you make because of previous relationships, but you haven’t told your partner what you do for work at all, you aren’t trusting him, aren’t even giving him the chance to prove he isn’t with you for your money, and whilst I understand you’ve had issues, it’s very weird to completely shut your partner away from part of your life. Would recommend therapy and reevaluating if you even want to be in this relationship

[@margaretowens3524]

None of his business. Your money is your money!

[@floran3098]

These episodes without updates feel like being edged lmao

[@breannashell3799]

I know a 60 something year old who I work with named Millie. I think Ellie is adorable. You are adopting them to be your family.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP NTA. and it is so sad that your country doesnt have CPS because that poor kid is being extremely neglectes and the fact their house is not inhabitable cuz they won't get off their butts and clean. Cant believe cops wont do anything either. Cops shouldnt have to wait til a kid is abused, dead, kidnapped, extremely hurt before they can do anything.

[@j_hi]

The Janet story never fails to make me laugh 😂

[@robotface42O]

Just realizes my friend is in this one after it literally happened the same way and the ages match up perfectly

[@propio2957]

I don't think it's wrong to not tell your significant other how much you make, but a year into a serious relationship, I think they should at least know what it is you do. From there, they can make their own assumptions about how much you make, but like the replies said, what you do for work is a huge part of who you are, whether you like it or not, and hiding that from someone so important will only make them wonder if there's a sketchy reason

[@KajaJensendingleberriez]

The story about the addict mother made me cry a bit.. Damn.

[@mweathers79]

S5: YTA, but justified. Good job. I bet she’ll remember your name now.😂

[@shawnmccarty6923]

How much $ you make is none of your boyfriends business I was married for 37 years before my wife passed and she never knew what my pay rate was

[@kelliepatterson1142]

Head lice story is myths that it's a dirty people thing it's not. PBS cartoon Arthur had a episode about the most communicable infection in children under 10.

[@everymoviehero9248]

The posts in this video remind me of the book, A Child Called "It" by David Pelzer, and it is his true story of being horrifically abused by his mother and siblings, it was just terrible some of the torture he had to endure

[@angelicakaufman7183]

Everybody knows when you go into the military that you have an expected honorable code of conduct and that infidelity will not be tolerated. They got what they deserved

[@Cornivius]

>Op: I've told him that if he wants me to change something just to tell me and I'll see if I can do it or he can do it on his own > Guy: actually, could you put curry on this? OP: WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR EX IF YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH??! Reasonable

[@Azza240]

The thing with money, when I and my gf moved together she didn't have much on her own bcs she was in law school at that time. I changed my workplace and from first pay check I put in our wallet and I said this is our money we need to make it until next pay she never took advantage of me, it's all about people and how greedy they are!

[@ellieaylen337]

As a 31 year old Ellie, I'm slightly offended that people think it's a baby name. It's also less of a mouthful than Eleanor for me to use.