AITA For Not Accomodating My Brother's Vegan Fiancé?

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

Story #1: OP is not an idiot. The brother's gf sounds like she has an ED and uses being vegan to cover it up so she can avoid people expressing concern over her not eating and just had to pick apart the meal OP fixed in an attempt to come up with a new excuse not to eat.

[@lilyrose3450]

Exactly. As a vegan, I come across many people who become vegan for this very reason. While being vegan does come with less calories and fats than other diets, it’s not completely void of calories. There’s vegan processed foods like fake meats, fake milk, fake eggs, etc. there’s no reason she should be freaking out over a single meal of processed foods if she’s not allergic or morally opposed to the ingredients. She’s absolutely using it as a cover for restrictive eating and blaming others to keep herself out of the light so she doesn’t get exposed for her unhealthy eating habits.

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

@@lilyrose3450 that was my takeaway as well. I'm not vegan but do have vegan friends and they don't act that way. I have also had coworkers with eating disorders that claimed veganism to excuse the behaviors described by the OP. It really gets under my skin when people do that cause they give people who haven't enteracted with vegans a bad impression of them. Yes I have come across a few vegan Karen's who try to bully others into going vegan but most vegans I've met aren't like the Karen's or the people from OP's story who use "being vegan" as a cover for an eating disorder. I hope you have a wonderful day! Thank you for chiming in with your comment especially since you speak from first hand experience as a vegan yourself. I really appreciate it.

[@jenih3815]

@@lilyrose3450 you’re exactly right, when I was in the middle of my eating disorder I went full vegan but it was more an excuse to control what I ate. That whole story was flag after flag.

[@brainfluidZ]

It’s actually not a cover up. It’s a certain type of eating disorder. Overly healthy to the point where it isn’t healthy. It’s called Orthorexia.

[@lina9535]

I agree. Honestly I rolled my eyes when I heard "dijon", because while traditional dijon doesn't have eggs in it, depending on the brand it does have eggs or even other non-vegan things in it. My niece taught me that, after I was going to make some things for us a few years ago for Christmas (ham for me and.... I think it's called "root celery" in English for her), and I did the coating or whatever (honestly no idea what that is called in English, maybe glaze?) and I didn't use eggs in hers, so just the bread crumbs and dijon, and she asked me if I'd looked if it had eggs in it. I was confused, because as I wrote earlier, traditionally it doesn't have eggs. But this brand had at the bottom "may contain traces of egg". So I scrapped that, ran down to the store (it's like 1 minute away and hadn't closed yet) to get one that didn't have eggs in it.

[@christinecampbell1677]

I'm a vegan. I don't think his meal was bad. I would have been very happy to eat it. What an ungrateful person. Get invited to a home made meal great, person preparing meal made so much effort. Well done to the cook and boo to the picky vegan and her partner.

[@alana.dyer.author]

Im not even vegan AND I WOULD EAT THAT MEAL!!! like damn, op put his heart into it.

[@somerandoonyt9553]

The story about the haunted house. I've heard the story before, and some thing that no one pointed out, and it surprised me that no one did, so that the father couldn't afford both him and his daughter to go, and OP had to save their own money to go, but can all of a sudden afford to take the step daughter? Very suspicious to me.

[@josefineandersen2165]

Yeah I was thinking that too, who was gonna pay for the step sister? why does he have money for her.

[@atinyevil1383]

I was wondering this, too. His eldest had to save up for them both? When OP wasn’t even expecting other daughter to come?

[@AuntLoopy123]

I thought he was telling OP in September, so that OP would have time to save up for the step-sister, as well. After all, "She's your sister!"

[@kowaieli]

A little late but I read the actual post and it wasn't that he saved up money for the step sis or anything but he decided that instead of getting a good hotel room ( that the op would be covering ) they would get a cheaper hotel room so the three could stay there and to cover the price for the haunted house for the step sis. The dad didn't offer to pay for the step sis to join but expected the Op to cover the step sis too. It just kinda makes it a lot worse because he expected the child who wanted to have a dad and kid bonding trip to pay for the person they percieved to be the interloper to come along on a trip they are paying for.

[@saifakbar1998]

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[@theamazingimptini]

I’m surprised there wasn’t more NTA for the vegan kid. You can’t put a full vegan diet on young children until they are a certain age, their body needs more wide range nutrition in order to grow.

[@daska2167]

Markee tends to cherry pick a bit, although definitely a good chance the hardcore vegans brigaded the post. I mean, pretty sure every comment had something to say about it being some sort of personal attack against them personally, completely ignoring that the child actually likes eating meat and probably heavily looks forward to visiting their friend cuz they’ll be able to eat what they actually like.

[@immortalsofar5314]

@@daska2167 Yes, this one was full of WTF stories. You can make ethical decisions for yourself but not for others, that's just enforcement and children are _not_ property. Wow, that story found an awful lot of my buttons! I was a vegetarian for ethical reasons for a year and a half but quit because I couldn't keep weight on. As for the poster saying that switching back and forth was harmful, what the hell does he think happens to omnivorous scavengers (like humans) in nature?

[@Will0wFire]

Agreed! That child has no choice in her diet at home and clearly enjoys a meaty diet. It's not her choice to be vegan. She'll probably really struggle with osteoporosis when she's older and many other problems. Veganism is all good, I get it. But it should be a personal choice and not inflicted on growing children.

[@devadethereal6301]

First story: If her diet is so extreme, she should have accommodated her damn self and brought her own food. How would anyone know what exactly to make when the only information given was "she's vegan".

[@elinazariel]

Exactly, I am a vegetarian but always tell to people that I don't need anything special, I am happy with just salad and if they can make separate sauce from the meat plus potatoes or some other sides, I am happy with that. Of course vegetarian diet is a bit easier for others than vegan. But this couple tried their best to take in consideration the guest with actual vegan food. Unfortunately picky eaters are picky eaters and should either give a list of things they can eat in advance or take their own food. No one is a mind reader.

[@TheKateO13]

Pasta isn't vegan? Made with eggs.

[@srkh8966]

@@TheKateO13There is vegan pasta.

[@lina9535]

​@@srkh8966 exactly. I tried some (imo disguisting) zuccini pasta (I don't like zuccini either way) that my niece had gotten that was vegan (I think my niece is vegetarian though, embarrasingly I can never remember the difference 😅).

[@AuntLoopy123]

I used to work in the nursery at church and there was a three-year-old there, with lactose intolerance. SHE was old enough to tell me, "I can't eat that." or "Does it have milk? I can't have dairy products," or "I'm lactose intolerant. Please check the label." Her parents were brilliant in training her to do that. But my point is, if a three-year-old can do that, taking charge about what she can and can't eat, then a 12-year-old certainly can. It's HER body. It should be HER choice what she does or does not put into it. She should be allowed to eat meat if SHE wants to eat meat.

[@CandaceDreamer]

I agree, but unfortunately some parents don’t see things that way and like to push their agenda and beliefs onto their kids whether in not it’s what the child needs or wants. But I can see the 12 year old girl growing up and eating the things her family deprived her of when she’s finally out of their control. It happens with religion as well. Kids from super religious homes will often group up to be atheists.

[@TheVeggiekat]

I’m betting the story is fake. If you don’t drink milk your body eventually stops making the enzyme that digests lactose. That 12 year-old would have been sick as a dog if the story were real.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

I don't understand what the hell is wrong with those commenters. If a child is being denied a healthy balanced diet at home would you not provide what's lacking when they stay at your house. I do think op is an ass for not reporting to CPS just so perhaps the parents can get help understanding children on vegan diets need different food than adults. I have friends that were brought up vegan culturally and they had specific meals for kids and pregnant women to support growing bodies.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

@@CandaceDreamer I don't think in this case it's religious. I have friends that were brought up in household that were vegan for religious reasons and they have dishes specifically for children the elderly and pregnant women to give their bodies what they need. To me it sounds like the are vegan converts that are to stupid to realise children have different dietary requirements than adults.

[@DrPatANelson]

@@cheekyftoro8962 For f's sake, you can eat a totally healthy balanced diet without eating meat and I call bs on op from claiming that eating meat for a day makes this child glow healthily. That's total crap. Calling cps for feeding a child vegan food? For f's sake, educate yourselves, people.

[@callmema14]

That cop one was scary. The level of entitlement and authority over ppl in his personal life is alarming. And it's incredibly naive of OP. He has positioned himself as the protector of his gfs innocence.

[@jay2thaudy]

Sounds like a cop.

[@isaacsmith4499]

Yeah like the f was wrong with him

[@ericaallisonc]

ikr. I live in a state that has legalized recreational drug use and even before that, i knew plenty of productive members of society who smoked. This cop is profiling and controlling, just because he had a bad experience with drugs doesn’t mean they are all bad...

[@janinbeatris1172]

~I hAVe tRaIniNg iN tHiS~ No American cop have training. Period!!!

[@DogDooWinner]

He sounds like a baby cop. Fresh from the academy. He doesn't have the capacity to realize what is and what isn't worth the trouble. He's hard on weed but we have no idea if he realizes that alcohol is far worse in its destruction.

[@WhiteWolf-lm7gj]

I mean, what OP said was harsh, and they probably should have phrased it differently, but they're also.. not entirely wrong about that. The meal prepared was absolutely acceptable by any standard of vegan, it sounds like the gf has food problems.

[@kawaibakaneko]

Yep she has an eating disorder and a huge attitude problem

[@AuntLoopy123]

OP: Dad, I love you and want to spend some special 1-on-1 time with you! Dad: Sounds great! Let me invite someone else to join us! Repeat several times. OP: Well, never mind, since you obviously think I'm not good enough, and I'm an annoying child. I'm going to be leaving soon, and won't be a problem, anymore. Dad: Surprised Pikachu face.

[@nocause5395]

This isn't about whether it's vegan this is about her calorie counting

[@laurenc4138]

I host thanksgiving and usually cook an entire separate set of sides for my cousin to make sure they’re gluten free and there isn’t any cross contamination…. I don’t mind doing it cause I love her and want her to be happy, but I can definitely say if I did all that work and she basically crapped on my efforts it would be the last time. I have to admit though, I think the eating disorder comment were spot on, I thought that too. I used to arbitrarily say “oh I can’t have carbs” or “oh I can have red meat” or whatever and would adjust for whatever the food served was to make it seem like I had dietary restrictions instead of starving myself. What I really meant was “I can’t eat anything that isn’t the half of a protein bar I heated for a few seconds in a microwave to lie to myself that it was a meal” It sucks the brother is defending this behavior because he should be looking into it and worrying about his girl’s health and safety.

[@lauriemeyer7030]

Sorry, the adoption/non adoption one. NTA It does not even matter about your life. SIL NEVER intended to give the baby to you. That is flat-out manipulation. Better yet, she lied, so you would give her money. Do you think MIL will not help SIL when she needs things? Personally, I would probably sue her to get your money back. I bet your wife won't want you to, though. Because, "she loves her sister". BTW, for anyone asking, SIL is NOT a true Christian.

[@dawnsharp8524]

Dad/daughter trip story: so NTA. Too many parents don't think one-on-one time with kids of divorce is important. I hope OP's dad realizes what he is missing and makes amends. My parents divorced when I was 12. I was around 50 years old when I got to spend one-on-one time with my dad and I only had to be stranded in an ER 30 miles from home without a ride home before I got that time. Weirdly, the time started with me having a partial pelvic exam by the son of one of my favorite high school teachers while separated from my dad by only a curtain. Now, that's some special bonding time!

[@jessicabarbosa837]

I’d put money on the fact that the “parents” were going to try and have OP pay for the entire thing for all of them.

[@cicibrown5979]

I'm married to my sons' father. My boys get along very well despite a 6 year age gap. All that said, it is still important for all of us to have one-on-one time with each other, especially the boys with either of their parents. In a blended family I would expect that to be doubly important, but who am I to say so. Op is so NTA however op's dad certainly is!

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 2- NTA. If someone’s parents were gonna be that blatantly disrespectful about my sibling/person that raised me, I don’t think I could continue that relationship. I hate homophobes!

[@JasmineLovely123]

You can't pick your parents....but it would have been nice for more of a heads up. And if she could stand with her fella...

[@capsizemoonz2251]

I mean He knew fully what was going to happen and acted like a massive baby about it

[@carrissa8867]

The sister who stopped her mum abusing her brother with her sexism you are a legend you did the right thing for your brother he will always remember you stood up for him i wish yous all the best

[@jessicabarbosa837]

About the haunted house story… They’re all pissed about the money. Dad and Stepmom were asking “why spend the money like that”? Anyone else think this sounds like Dad, Stepmom, and Stepsister were going to try to take the whole “family” to the haunted house/attraction on OP’s dime?

[@league-of-shadows]

Right? Dad couldn’t pay for it all but suddenly the step sister can come? Who’s paying for that?

[@willSugar]

That cop was sooooper creepy 😳 😬. I'm glad "his girl" broke up with him. Also Jared was a doctor, clearly he isn't a deadbeat addict.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

Post about the "vegan" kid: Daughter's friend isn't vegan, her parents are and are forcing dietary restrictions on a child who clearly doesn't want it. The fact that the kid isn't arguing and saying she is vegan, she is happily wolfing down the food and presumably not telling her parents, tells me all I need to know. A child shouldn't be forced to abide by unnecessary food restrictions if it isn't some kind d of health condition. If the child chooses to be vegan or vegetarian, that's one thing, but the child's health shouldn't be compromised just to satisfy the parents' ego.

[@lenax9798]

I was that child. My mom was and still is vegan. She forced me and my brothers to follow her diet. However when dad made dinner when mom wasn't home, we ate meat and everything that was forbidden. Same with friends. Some of my friends parents gave me more meat because I took looked thin and pale. When I got older and got my own money, I ate cheeseburgers and stuff like that behind my mom's back. I lied what I bought at the cafeteria at school. I hid meat products (like beef jerkey and dried sausages) in my room. Forcing a kid to follow a diet they don't want won't make them follow that diet. It will only teach them how to be sneaky and lie. OP is nta

[@atinyevil1383]

Thank you! I said something similar, but more about the health problems that come with being vegan, especially for kids. Kids who are forced to be vegan by their parents are typically under developed because the parents don’t supplement in for the extra needed vitamins and protein provided by animal products. The YTA comments make me really angry because of this.

[@josephmckee3605]

I think as long as she knows what she is eating it is her choice, just because her parents are vegan doesn't mean she has to be , only way I see op being the ah is if she lies about it being a vegan substitute or is forcing her to eat it , you can't force your dietary choices on others, outside of allergies everyone should be free to choose what they eat

[@christinecampbell1677]

I'm a vegan but wasn't when my children were still at home. If I had been vegan then I would not have made them be vegan.

[@only1one1me]

I was that kid too. Family friends fed me meet and stuff, and I thank them for it.

[@marybean2231]

The third story, hard NTA, especially if the daughter of the vegans wanted the food. Why does the parents wishes trump the child's?!

[@Bleg94]

"Vegan child": The girl isn't vegan, she is forced to eat vegan, thats a huge difference, the girl even wants to eat more of OPs food while apparently knowing it is "forbidden" Yes it isn't OPs choice to make, but that girls choice WHO EATS IT WITH DELIGHT Peanut Butter Story: ESH but leaning towards NTA because of personal past I had a time where I had to buy myself again and again and again new Nutella because someone did always go in with their disgusting peanutbutter knife Disgusting because afterwards the whole damn nutella had peanut in it and peanut taste disgusting to me

[@lpstigerlily8506]

The girl is also described as someone who would be malnourished so clearly, the vegan diet isn’t for a medical condition. Her parents are just ridiculous

[@Bleg94]

@@lpstigerlily8506 tbh I have a hard time believing someone being described as "malnourished", I was called malnourished for quite some time when I was a child because unlike most other kids I was active in a sportsteam, my gf also gets often called malnourished because she looks super skinny ... since she is only 1.55m and fit because of sports she does

[@inichan8786]

​@@Bleg94 There is still a big difference in being uninformed and the childs behaviour indicating a need for more nutrition. Unless prescribed and frequently checked by a doctor, it is bad to put a child on a vegan diet. Their not made for it, it stunts growth and I sadly watched that happen to a girl in my neighborhood. Her parents MADE her and her sisters only eat vegan. She was also sporty and loved the outdoors like I did. But unlike me, she wasn't able to build up musclemass and she easily got injured, the most prominent memory I have of her telling me on our way home how she envied my thighs and muscles. Granted this was over 30 years ago were knowlege about how to propperly subliment then was not even thought about....but if we all are honest: Parents putting their kids up to a vegan diet without having professionals guidance will instil those old versions of veganism onto them and fuck their bodys up forever. There are a lot of nuances, I wish more people be schooled in seeing the simple signs of malnurishment vs. actually sporty or skinny bodytypes.

[@DraidensDen]

For the meaty meals one: NTA. If M likes it and is okay with eating it, that's her choice. Twelve is old enough to understand the basics of being vegan and old enough to make that choice herself. It's the parent's choice on how they raise their kid, but after a certain point, the kid can decide whether or not that suits them in cases like this anyway. (Edited for spelling)

[@suestoons]

This was my first instinct as well. Then I got to thinking about being a parent with a set of rules and having those rules ignored by her friends. There are a couple of things to think about: 1. From the very beginning I would have spoken to M's parents about dietary restrictions at their home. BUT, I absolutely would have not made any promises to uphold them, more of a fact-finding mission. 1.a. Now I'm in a dilemma, my gut feeling is to tell the parents that there will be meat at our table. This runs the risk of them not allowing M to spend time with my daughter. But back to the fact-finding mission above, if they're confident that M will abide by their wishes and allow her to maintain the friendship then I'd absolutely want to just let them know that our family is different from theirs. 2. I would provide a dish to allow M to keep her family's dietary restrictions going. But I would also continue to provide dishes that are in keeping with *our* family's lifestyle. 3. I would not "rat out" M. I've told her parents what goes on at our house. She's allowed to visit. What goes on in our house, stays in our house.

[@AmyRuby]

Yes this most vegan parents have this view that kids are going to experiment and try meat products. I definitely understand the view that in their home they’re not going to make meat, or dairy products but their kids are going to make their own choices outside the home.

[@DraidensDen]

@Melody Ackerman And it's not their choice what their daughter likes. She *likes* meat, so she should have it. It's that simple. You're forgetting M is her own person.

[@FlutePlayer777]

Not sure I agree. A child should not be forced into a diet. They are still growing. Same with babies and animals. I have seen some crazy vegans that even force small babies and pets into the diet. Veganism is a very specific group with specific reasons for being that way. It is a choice that a child doesn't understand.

[@smirglepapier531]

I mean, if the food provided is the only thing that child can eat at that house it will eat that food. It does not really sounds like OP is providing any alternatives. I had a Muslim friend and even with fourteen she was to shy to ask for certain foods herself. What I took most issue with is this secret making out of it. She should tell the parents of the child that she won't provide only vegan food and that the parents should maybe pack some lunch if they take issue with it.

[@only1one1me]

Vegan family: NTA My family stunted my growth doing that. We were vegan. Not only that, but sugar was banned. I was starving. I’m underweight even now. The doctor diagnosed me every year as “failure to thrive”. My friends families fed me foods with sugar, meat and dairy and I thank them for it. If she wants the food, she should have it.

[@AuntLoopy123]

I think it's hilarious how so many children of vegans have "failure to thrive," when according to their parents, it is the ONLY healthy way to live. THE ONLY WAY! Everyone else, who eats poisons, like eggs and dairy, or worst of all, MEAT, are just making themselves sick! That's why the females who eat that way actually bleed once a month! Don't they know that TRUE HUMANS don't menstruate? And all this talk of "If we were naturally designed to be herbivores, why do we have canine teeth, and a gut that metabolizes meat and dairy?" is just absurd! Don't you know that there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to eat anything other than vegetables?! My vegan child is the healthiest little (emphasis on little) child in the whole school! Who cares if she's smaller than the kindergartners, when she's in the sixth grade? SHE'S THE ONLY HEALTHY ONE THERE, DAMMIT! Ugh. You'd think the fact, FACT, that they are damaging their children would wake them up to the FACT that they are, well, DAMAGING THEIR CHILDREN. Veganism is for adults, not children. And it's OPTIONAL for adults, not something to force on anyone. NEVER for a child!

[@notevenlistening6072]

@@AuntLoopy123 Agreed. I'm the only vegetarian in my family. My kids get meat. These same people torture their carnivorous pets with vegan regimes.

[@snowgriff]

i'm dutch and hearing you completely murdering those words made me laugh so hard i fell of my chair... 🤣

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 2 - Those two bigots sat there, badmouthing OP's brothers/dads right to his face, and when he gets up and leaves, HE's the rude one? Excuse me?! OP should drop that girl, fast!

[@AnxietyPossumArt]

Quiet biggots are loud in the silence they make

[@kenconify]

Ok the contaminated jelly thing I get it! Granted I work in a kitchen so my work tendencies bleed over into my home life quite a bit. Making a pb and j I use 2 knives.

[@draconicfeline6177]

Agreed - it's honestly viscerally upsetting to me when ppl just... Mix stuff around at the source. It fucks up the flavor AND it's just gross. Wash the utensil at the very least.

[@lazulin]

I also don't ever cross-contaminate. However, given his wife is pregnant and this is all she eats... this isn't really the hill to die on.

[@kenconify]

@@lazulin oh no definitely not dude is being a dick in this situation. I understand why but don’t die on this hill here.

[@dustyrose192]

@@kenconify wont the pb make the jelly go mouldy tho? Thats what happened whenever i didnt clean the butter knife before getting some jam when i was a kid

[@kenconify]

@@dustyrose192 it can the jelly is more like just to mold on its own surprisingly PB is very shelf stable

[@lalvarez5151]

Wife of guy that wants to go on trip -YTA "there is nothing he can say to change my mind" ??? So no compromise? Girl, you are controlling and you will end up single. You don't even let him celebrate with his friends?

[@mht4908]

That really rubbed me off the wrong way as well. No to getting mom over to take care of the kids, no to getting a babysitter, no to everything other than "ok I won't go". I think OP's husband will resent her for the rest of his life. Yes I get OP's point that newborns will be hard, but the way OP wrote her post makes me feel that she is a close-minded person, and that it's either her way or nothing gets done

[@pyrook4074]

that last story was equal parts heartbreaking and disgusting. i can’t believe the SIL literally milked over 10k from two women just desperate to be moms and already suffering from extreme emotional strain, psychologically manipulated them, called their lifestyle disgusting and them “sinners” then STILL had the nerve to demand more money? to pay for a kid they couldn’t even have? even more ridiculous is op’s ex taking the side of the SIL it’s just abhorrent. what is wrong with these people i really do feel bad for OP :( nta

[@Kati_P]

When your partner consistently tells you to "suck it up" about your feelings, you stop wanting to share your feelings with them. I NEED my space away from the rest of the world or my mental and physical health go straight down the tubes. And it's not a want. It's a legit need. OP and his wife should see if there's any family in the area who would let MIL come to their house and stay for a weekend visit, or maybe spring for a motel room for her for a couple of days just to get a little breathing room. Maybe see if it can become like an every four to eight weeks thing so OP and Wifey can have a little privacy and renew those positive marriage connections. For me, it's a NAH vote. Circumstances dictate that MIL live with them for a while, and even though MIL is annoying, she's not malicious. OP needs to communicate his need to be alone a little bit better. Had he told MIL that he really just wanted to walk by himself this time, I think he would have gotten what he wanted without ruffling too many feathers. Wifey needs to stop telling OP to "just suck it up" though, because consistently marginalizing and dismissing his feelings and needs is a path that will inevitably lead to resentment and divorce. I think they need some couple's counseling, and OP could do with some individual counseling as well.

[@Bleg94]

for me it would've been NAH if the wife didn't already know why OP is stressed, thats why it looks to me that the wife wants OP to blow up, she wants him to be angry, I mean why else constantly egg him on and tell him to suck it up? thats why to me the wife is TA in that story

[@Kati_P]

@@Bleg94 You're right, Wifey is definitely the biggest ahole in this story.

[@AuntLoopy123]

"My needs aren't being met." "Just suck it up." "Really? OK, you know that life-saving surgery you wanted me to pay for? Just suck it up and pay for it yourself. Or die. Whatever. It's not as if I CARE about you. If I CARED, I would take care of your needs. But since I don't care about you, at all, I'll just do like you do, and say 'just suck it up.' Feels great, doesn't it, 'sweetheart'?" Seriously, any partner who tells you to "just suck it up" needs to experience life without you for at least 3 months. See if they'd prefer a divorce, or prefer to apologize and get you back. Either way, you have your answer, and a change in life from that point on.

[@videofan1010]

What annoyed me the most about the story is the wife asked a bunch of times but then told him "Suck it up." If that was going to be the response, why ask?

[@jazzamethyst8225]

11 years old is definitely not too young to clean the toilet after himself. I was doing my own laundry, deep cleaning the bathrooms, doing all the other household chores and babysitting an infant and two toddlers by the time I was 11 and I was doing a ton of the gardening.

[@AuntLoopy123]

Some people believe that ALL children are "too young for housework" of any kind. No chores! And then, they make fun of these "children," when they are fully-grown adults, who have to pay someone to teach them how to do laundry or sew on a button or clean a toilet.

[@piiinkDeluxe]

16:25 parents who endanger their child in any form need to be "disrespected". I also "disrespect" the parents if I report parents that hit their child [not to say those would be equal of couurse!].

[@StarSong936]

@ 1:26 I was vegan for a couple of years. One time, we had an office party, and I looked over the menu for vegan options. I ordered one of the dishes, and it did not mention that there was cheese on it. I asked that they take it back and remake it without cheese. The waitress apologized to me and said that dish comes prepackaged and they have no way to do that. They did not charge me for it, but I had to do without. I did eventually relax my standards to include milk and egg products. So there was one time the bus driver wanted to go into Burger King to get something to eat. I said "Okay, I'd like to get something as well. So we went in and I ordered a veggie whopper. She ordered a regular whopper. When she got back on the bus she asked me how I got my meal so fast, so I told her, I ordered mine without meat. Since none of the other ingredients needed to be cooked, they could just slap it together. We were friends for about 2 years, until she got switched to a different bus route. I have gone back to eating meat now, but due to health issues, I do limit fried food. Just so you know, eating a vegetarian diet does not guarantee a healthy diet.

[@lesleykruijt8580]

The 11yo cleaning a toilet: my mom always told me "if you think it's gross to clean up your own mess, how would you like it to clean up after me?"

[@kensprivateinvestigation2128]

As for the the couple who paid the sil pregnancy exercises. The sil committed fraud having you pay for what you believed was going to be your child with no actual intent to give up said child.

[@AnonyMous-lh3cm]

The parent of the child who’s vegan friend is eating meat at their home…..I’m going to go with NTA. Hear me out, based on what OP’s saying it sounds like the child is fully aware and they are happily eating it. It also sounds like the child is the one who does not want their parents to know. This is a situation where this child is clearly expressing they are interested in a particular diet their parents are not willing to agree to. If the roles were reversed and it was a situation where OP was a vegan and the child expressed interest in becoming vegan and enjoyed eating only plant based when in their home would people be saying they’re the a**hole🤷🏽‍♀️ OP’s child and their friend are 12. While their parents are vegan for their own reasons we SHOULD all be able to agree that at a certain point all children develop their own tastes and food preferences. It’s very clear that their child’s friend is leaning more towards a non plant based diet and due to their parents being strict vegans is unable to actually eat the way they prefer. This is not a situation where OP is intentionally feeding the child animal based foods and tricking them into eating them by claiming they are vegan. Regardless of their opinion on their child’s friends health they are not forcing them to eat animal based but rather are cooking the animal based foods their child and their child’s friend both enjoy when they stay over.

[@suestoons]

I'm only halfway through this and I'm compelled to say how much I'm enjoying it. - Love your voice, style, and speed of reading. - Really appreciate the beat you give between stories. Usually, I have to pause to give this to myself but yours are perfect. Thank You. - I'm also enjoying the comments. I only go to the comments when I disagree with the included comments or conclusions. You have a delightful group of followers that engage nicely in the comment section.

[@piiinkDeluxe]

Just discovered this channel and I agree.

[@carolinenagel7085]

Poor Cathy, she never counted on working with somebody who actually spoke a language she lied about able to speak lol

[@atinyevil1383]

Vegan child story: NTA, children aren’t supposed to be on a vegan diet, full stop. There is plenty of information about how kids fed vegan diets tend to end up malnourished and with stunted development because young children need a lot of nutrients for growth. Full-grown vegan adults need extra vitamins or ways to supplement for protein to maintain their health because cutting animal products out doesn’t cut it. So a kid, who is still growing, needs those extra nutrients for development. The people who are saying that OP is doing this out of some sort of protest don’t seem to understand this. The kid’s parents could be supplementing, but from the information provided, it doesn’t sound like enough.

[@Daydream_N]

Also I think a 12 year old should have a say in what they want to eat and shouldn't have any diet, regardless of what it is, forced on them. OP is NTA the kid clearly didn't wanna be vegan

[@mgaus]

No one should be on a vegan diet, full stop.

[@mgaus]

@Melody Ackerman please do some research before saying incredibly incorrect things Pattern analysis of vegan eating reveals healthy and unhealthy patterns within the vegan diet Catherine T Gallagher, Paul Hanley, Katie E Lane Public Health Nutrition, 1-11, 2021

[@mgaus]

@Melody Ackerman please post one of those studies. I've provided two peer reviewed, published articles from reputable sources. When the addition of meat proteins made humans as smart as we are as fast as it did some 40,000-50,000 years ago, it seems obvious that vegans are the trolls, not the anti vegans. The more eclectic a diet, the better. How is that even debatable? Edit to add: I never said a diet high in red meat was good. I'm simply saying veganism is less healthy than diet options that include meat, poultry, fish, and even insects.

[@mgaus]

@Melody Ackerman I'm not moving goal posts. I'm not sure any have been set. And it seems like we both want the same thing: a healthier population. We are disagreeing over the facts, which is somewhat silly. But I can respect people make bad dietary decisions with junk food, with eliminating certain types of nutrients, with over eating, with under eating. People have the right to make bad choices. I'm still going to call it out

[@oOBloodyAllyOo]

Naw, the OP from the dad-daughter-period-story is awesome. His daughter might have felt uncomfortable, but you can just read/hear how much effort he makes for his kids to feel comfortable around and trust him ♥

[@CircusoftheMoon]

Vegas trip story: As long as OP’s husband helps out upon his return to let her catch up on some rest I don’t see why it would be a huge issue. When I was in college my best friend came to visit me at about the 12 week mark after she gave birth for my town’s Halloween celebration. This timeline is similar to what OP was describing. Her husband saw it as no big deal. A similar thing happened after her second child was born and once again the husband was able to handle a toddler and an infant for a long weekend. They’ve always been good about taking turns blowing off some steam after the children were born. He would go on hunting trips with his bros.

[@t123tina]

Stop 😅 the BS if u never give birth u don't understand the pain 😂 some lady get ripped or they cut them when natural birth happens and if you have a C-section it takes 3 months to heal or learn longer depending if it is emergency C-section .

[@AmyRuby]

I haven’t been on a trip like that yet (my kids are 18mo and 3yrs) and more or less neither has my hubby, although to be fair that has more to do with global situation than hard and fast rules about going away. I think that if the dad is like I’ll go to Vegas, and say in two weeks, mom is going on a spa weekend or something, then okay. Unfortunately, that has not been my experience in talking to friends about their situations with their husbands. So so many moms get saddled with the lions share of childcare and alone time with the kids. It can be really tough. When there is a daycare issue, I’m the one trying to scramble to find care for my kids or insisting that my hubby takes the day off since I took the last three. Some things I have just had to outright refuse to do, like camping since I have so much work to keep out children from dying 😂🙄. One summer I had enough and told my husband I was going away with two girlfriends for Labor Day and that he would have to be solely responsible for my daughter while camping (read four other adults were also there) and I took my 4 month old son on my trip with me. Divide and conquer is very much my mantra in parenthood, much easier to do when there is another adult to take half the division of labour.

[@nottheone7269]

I personally couldn't stay married to somebody that controlling. If my significant other ever tells me they're putting their foot down and we're not going to have a discussion about something as simple as me taking a trip. I'm not sure how they're going to handle bigger arguments in the future. This should have been a really simple one to sit down and try to come up with a plan that works for both parties.

[@catherinekilgour2563]

There are less than 2 years between my first two children, I think the wife was over reacting especially as the husband was willing to organise help for her and she just didn't want to discuss it at all.

[@TailsFan]

I think part of it was also the fact that he would be going off to a casino to drink and gamble with money that the family needs.

[@AliceinOverwatch]

omg anyone saying that OP can handle a few nights with a 12week old are fkn special

[@michaelplunkett8059]

She is free to bring her own. She prefers the power trip of using her diet whims to control others. Brother will get his just deserts if he stays with her.

[@StarSong936]

@ 20:58 I'm allergic to shellfish. One day, my neighbor made some gumbo. I did not know it had shrimp in it. It was really tasty BTW. As soon as I realized there was shrimp, I took some Benadryl, then went over and remined her I was allergic. I still told her that I liked it, but to please not offer me food I'm allergic to. She apologized to me and said she would tell me what was in it before offering it to me. I don't accept food from her without asking as well. We both know, and she will not take offence. I really should get her recipe. Beef or chicken would be fine substitutes as it really is very tasty.

[@liviwaslost]

Chicken Gumbo and okra gumbo are the best.

[@wrenpeach6707]

Heck yeah, a new Markee video to keep me company on my lunch break!

[@minecrewsupernt831]

Hope your lunch break went well

[@Bleg94]

I kinda doubt you finished that video in the lunch break xD

[@typosinthebrain5363]

Omfg.. When I was vegan I would just about start crying when people remembered me while cooking or getting food for a party or dinner or conference or whatever. That's how happy I was.

[@platinum_noelle]

The cop one is actually really scary. I hope the poor woman is able to keep OP away from her, he's not exactly presenting the most stable mindset, whether it be towards pot/people who smoke it or his apparently feelings of ownership towards her.

[@katwiltz1134]

Being pregnant doesn't mean that you toss away somebody else's feelings or you do something like half-assed wash it off she did it cuz she was too lazy to grab another knife she's also too lazy to care about his feelings I know people that can't use the same spoon to get rice out that they get gravy out I think this is ridiculous the food always ends up in your stomach mixed up anyway but I respect their feelings because well they're people

[@corlenajames1381]

I disagree. Her being pregnant or not, he's a GROWN man who could've simply left her PB&J alone and purchased his own if it's that important to him. My husband has little food habits that aren't my cup of tea so we know what we can share and what we need to have separate. Why would I nag my husband over peanut butter, then toss his food in the trash because he failed to comply? I wouldn't even disrespect him like that over a 'problem' so easily solvable, and vice versa. I've been married 15yrs, the 'ant hill' OP has chosen is not the one he should want to do on, lol.

[@tonicus123]

For the lady whose hubby wanted to go to his friends bachelor party, you won the fight, and may well have been right that it's the wrong time to go, but keep one sided arguments with your spouse like that and you'll experience taking care of your kid by yourself for more than a weekend. Both marriage and raising kids is a two way street.

[@tomsautocadstudio6446]

If I were the husband I would have lied told the friend I could say I was getting milk and gone to the airport. If you forbid me from doing something I'm gonna do it.

[@skyelindsey687]

@@tomsautocadstudio6446 and that is how he would be out of a house and out of half his pay check. Judges don’t take too kindly to men running out on family to gamble in Vegas

[@SerratedSun5841]

@@tomsautocadstudio6446 yeah that’s not a good way to handle a situation like this either

[@MissSimone02]

Gf turning off router story: Needs to get away and GET AWAY NOW. I was dating a guy for a few months, freshly graduated rehab and was about to spend my first ever overnight with him after work. You're not allowed to date during inpatient, so we had been hiding our relationship (not well either as I had already been in trouble for seeing him). Anyways, that night after work, he got violently angry with me because I didn't ask my house mom if it was okay to be publicly dating someone now. I had just gotten off work and he lived close by so I went straight there after. He flung all the pizza we had bought across the entire living room before throwing me into a wall. People who throw shit when they are angry are violent abusers regardless of whether or not they physically hit you in the process. I was blind sided and didn't have the chance to leave before getting hit and hurt. OP does. So leave while you can!

[@ronaldstaley277]

I had bought fried chicken and sat outside on a bench to eat. Some man and daughter sat beside me. The daughter asked me what smells so good I told her it was fried chicken and asked her if she wanted a piece her dad said she won't eat it because she was vegan like her mother. To his surprise she said yes. I gave her some chicken and she ate it and enjoyed it. I don't think she ever ate meat before. From what the father said she was vegan because her mother was and didn't ever let meat in the house thus forcing her to have no choice in the matter. I guess she was between 10 to 12 years old.

[@corlenajames1381]

Vegas husband Story: I probably wouldn't have stopped him from going... But things would likely be very different between us once he returned. I had a similar situation with an Ex... I was 6 days PAST my due date with our first (& only) daughter... He decided he wanted to go on a trip with friends even under the circumstances, so I finally said "alright." I knew as he was driving away that once the baby was born and I had healed enough to care for her overnight without him, I'd be breaking it off, indefinitely, which I did 9 weeks after her birth😂 When he got back, he told me he did it because he knew it would be months before he could go again...I asked him in my best poker face🙂 "So, who will you have to watch the baby during said trips?" He looked at ME, puzzled and said, "😕What do you mean? You'll have the baby with you." Being that I had always traveled heavily prior to my pregnancy, I said, "😒Wow... the baby's gonna really change MY life...🙄 I'm glad you're agreeing to take her when I take my annual trip with my club." He said, "Oh...you're still planning to do those trips😒? Because I figured I could just take y'all on trips sometimes, if you feel you need to go." That 🤡 really thought I was gonna sit at home with the baby while he traveled freely & treated me like a babysitter but he had a problem with the idea of me leaving her with him as I traveled...smh. When I broke it off, 😟😩He couldn't understand why I had such a 'sudden' change of heart, but the truth is at that point, I realized we weren't at compatible maturity levels and I wanted to give myself the chance to be with a man that wouldn't drop his responsibly on me at the drop of a hat. So glad I did. A grown man with a 6-week old newborn should understand what he needed to do.

[@rebasack21]

That neighbor that let a boyfriend kick her indoor only cat out of the house should never be allowed to have a pet again. Cats who have lived indoors their entire lives have no idea how to survive outside and its just a miracle that OP not only saw the cat get hit by a car - because that was going to happen - but then that the cat survived and OP was able to afford the bill for it. OP is a hero. if anyone were to come to my home and try to kick my cat or my sisters dogs out i would kick them out and give the cat and dogs extra treats.

[@lorifiedler13]

New to her period - making sure the toilet seat is clean after use is good manners, regardless if the person is male or female. No one wants to sit on someone's blood or pee.

[@rhiannonmckinstry6697]

@19:43 Jam (jelly for Americans) does go off and get mold growing in it if you use a contaminated knife. For a pregnant woman especially this could be a huge health hazard. This is even more common in home-made jams.

[@rhiannonmckinstry6697]

Edit: still an AH for throwing out the jam. Just have her eat the whole jar within a week.

[@lianabaddley8217]

Just FYI if you're not from the USA. We have jam and jelly. Jam has fruit pieces in it. Jelly is made with the juices from the fruit but no pieces of fruit in. Some prefer one over another some don't and like both. Both should be used with a new knife. Cuz just ew.

[@piiinkDeluxe]

13:55 therapy has changed A LOT since the 70s! I went to therapy in the 90s as a child and can relate to the feeling of 'needing to be fixed' but I know that therapy today looks at the family as a system, not only one "issue".

[@danielvogel5252]

Yeah, uh... nope. Been to several throughout my early teens, and even before. Also "family therapy" as mandated by county pre-child probation. All of them decided that drugging ME, rather than pulling my lousy, lazy, lying, narcissistic, sociopathic, physically and emotionally abusive "mother" out of the house for child abuse was the answer. Only time there was ever peace in the house for an extended period of time was when she was out harassing my older half-sister's family (she got banned from there too before they moved to the other side of the country to make sure she couldn't continue to influence the kids). Why? Because she paid the bills. She'd sit there and lie to not only the therapists but also the probation officer with a smile on her face while the rest of us were trying not to explode with "quit your effing lying!" And this was from 1995 to 2003. To this day, in my book, shrinks are just one step above politicians as being the next steps above pond scum.

[@AnxietyPossumArt]

It depends on the therapist. Some are great some suck. And sometimes it's the parents approach that makes the kid feel like that

[@AmyRuby]

Vegas trip - NTA it bugs me so much when fathers have very young children at home, are gone all day and get bent out of shape when the mother does want to do 100% of the childcare for days on end. While I’m not sure dictating to her husband that he could not go under any circumstances was the right way to go, anything that isn’t mandatory falls under the following rules: would either parent be able to take such a trip without significant hardship on the family. For example, if mom can’t go because she’s breastfeeding baby then dad can’t go unless it’s required for his job or something. Fair is fair.The first three months of a new baby’s life are gruelling and exhausting, not to mention one or both parents are getting up with a newborn. I didn’t sleep for a week when my first was born. When my second was born, we had to have a friend move in because I wasn’t allowed to lift first born. It was still very very tough. Sucks to be dad but if it’s too tough/impossible for mom to be away then dad shouldn’t go either unless supplementary help can be found, and of course mom should also get a girls weekend away then.

[@rhiannoncarney4423]

Yeah, I am going against the grain for the parent feeding the kid from the vegan family meat and say NTA! Age 12 is more than old enough to decide whether or not you want to be vegan! The kid's family isn't giving the child a choice, 10 to 1 the kid grows up to be a bonafide carnivore!

[@piiinkDeluxe]

Same! I was really surprised everyone deemed her TA. Talking to the parents might be a good suggestion but I see the possibility of them not allowing the daughter to stay over anymore. Also at 12 years old you can have secrets from your parents, no? I mean, she could refuse the food if she wanted to...

[@idontknowmyfruits2194]

I agree for the most part. I think the health concern part isn’t her place, she doesn’t have any real reason to think that. In general though, parents shouldn’t make choices like this on behalf of their kids. Kids know what they like and don’t like to eat lol. Communicating, adjusting and making sacrifices (or at least, our idea of sacrifice) are all part of parenting and being around other human beings in general. If the kiddo likes meat then they shouldn’t face fear of punishment for eating it. We don’t normally see waiters asking parents what their 12 year old wants to eat for a reason.

[@bonniegomez5333]

Nah. Definitely TA. The diet restrictions could have been medical, could cause severe problems from going to tons of meat to none, and the parents weren't even notified.

[@adrianmcbride1666]

@@bonniegomez5333 then the parents would have noted and brought those issues up with the op. The fact that we have not heard them bring up issues relating to a medical need lends further credit to the idea that this is just the parents forcing the child to follow their dietary style.

[@bonniegomez5333]

@@adrianmcbride1666 nah because why would the parents assume that her friends parents are giving her meat after they already know their dietary wishes.

[@dawnliddle2046]

They make peanut butter and jelly all in one jar. It comes in grape 🍇and strawberry 🍓. It's called goofy spread.

[@annt7384]

OP’s brother and gf failed to inform OP that in addition to a vegan diet, gf is on a whole grains and calorie-restricted diet.

[@staylor3483]

Pooh dispute: 11 yrs old is plenty old enough to clean a toilet! My kids were doing it on their own at 8 when they made a mess & as regular weekly chores. Boy & girl, I got them both, they took turns cleaning the main bath as a regular chore. Don't let him off the hook... he makes the mess, he cleans it!!😊

[@williethomas6388]

NTA especially when he was trying to get out of the house by taking the dog for a walk as an excuse to walk off his frustration, lo and behold mil decided to take herself along.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

I am a Conservative Christian but I absolutely believe that everyone has the freedom to live life as they choose. The older brother and his husband were very loving parents to OP. I've recognized that in many cases, same sex couples are way more loving, stable parents than many heterosexual couples. I think gays adopting children is wonderful; more children will have the chance to have a good home. I think OP was right to walk out on that nonsense. Would any of the rest of us allow somebody we just met to disparage our closest family members, who we love dearly? I think not.

[@jimbobjones9330]

That's definitely true, simply based on the fact that if a same-sex couple has kids, that's because they WANT KIDS. Same-sex couples don't have "oops babies" that they can resent because they didn't want kids to begin with.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

@@jimbobjones9330 That's a very good point. You're right.

[@SpookiCooki]

NTA on the dad who fed his daughters friend meat. The girl knew what it was and wanted it. Besides, she's 12 and can make such decisions about her diet. Her parents have a say in what they eat in their home but not what she eats when she's out and about. They have no business controlling her like that.

[@SuperCleopatrajones]

Bachelor Party: YTA. As a military wife, stuff comes up. 3 days is nothing compared to almost a year. Instead, take what hubby says into account. There WILL be a situation where she will want to do something and hubby might make her eat her words and say no. Relationships are give and take.

[@micahfoley9572]

"law enforceer" how much you wanna bet he's a parking officer.

[@martil.9058]

Post about vegan kid , NTA. Kid isn't vegan. She s forced into this by her abusive crazy vegan family, and fact that she keeps it a secret because she knows damn well that her parents would punish her for choosing to eat meat is crazyyyyy. Op doesn't gives kids booze or drugs, he/she is feeding the kid with stuff kid LOVES and it's good for em

[@heypatk]

The brother’s vegan gf is being a special attention seeking flower. People like that enjoy discomforting others and choose veganism not to protest animal cruelty but to paint themselves a victim. If he Marries her look out for her escalating illness that can’t be cured by any doctor.

[@icewolvz6977]

vegan kid story: nta. i don't really think kids should be forced into any specific diet. the growth of a child is really finicky and this is is probably not getting the right nutrients, or the right amount, being made to be vegan at this age. pb&j story: yta. you're not even allergic to pb, this is so dramatic. if you're that worried about pb in the jelly, just get a spoon and scoop out the smidge of pb. or get your own?? goodness gracious

[@l1s4sp1ts3]

Or just get a new jar of jelly! If the wife still uses the jelly, it would be super wasteful to just throw it out simply because HE won't eat it anymore.

[@adrianmcbride1666]

I've tried avoiding and getting rid of peanut butter in jam, works about as well as squeezing more peanut butter into the jam.

[@tammcphail1995]

I don’t think op was too far off the mark when she said fiancé has an eating disorder

[@chiaandsue]

Him saying “Lamao” instead of L M A O gives me so much cringy feelings….

[@tegantalks9612]

40:00 YTA. Before lockdown I went to a wedding where I was asked not to bring my kids because the only kids that would be coming were in the wedding party. I took it was an opportunity to have a date night with my boyfriend where we could relax and drink with our friends and not worry about chasing kids or having to leave early to get kids to bed.

[@kittycatobsession]

OP #1, NTA I've been vegan for a really long time and that sounds like a great meal. I see so much of myself in this. When I had an ED, I used to avoid all fat so I empathize with her state of mind, it's not easy to be going through that. She definitely has an eating disorder. Even if you otherwise avoid all fat, eating it once is not going to hurt you. She probably has orthorexia. Recovery and the freedom it brings are so worth it.

[@kponce7413]

Hey Markee. I just want you to know if you’re stopping this page I understand, but I will miss you so much. I just wanted you to know over the last few months you’ve become part of my morning routines, and I’ve almost gone through all your videos at this point (I commute to work). Anyways just letting you know you’re appreciated and all.

[@elinazariel]

yes such a soothing voice to listen :)

[@ameixsell]

45:32 he didn't snap at her because of the issue, he snapped because she asked him if he was OK multiple times, his answer didn't change. She was badgering him. He was fully ok to be angry after that. Like she couldn't take his answer at face value, but also couldn't accept the fact he wasn't ready to talk about it. And then she couldn't accept the fact that "I don't want to talk about it because nothing will change" and then had surprise Pikachu face went he snapped and vented it. And of course she then invalidates his feelings. When he files for divorce she will play the victim never once realizing she is emotionally neglecting her husband...

[@SolidifiedHoney]

I'm going to play devil's advocate with the peanut butter story. In cooking classes they always really pushed cross contamination is bad with foods. He asked reasonably for her not to do that and then she acted childishly by half cleaning the knife, and not taking his feelings into consideration. Yes he acted like a child by throwing it away, but that seemed like it was in reaction to her blowing off his feelings. Even if people think his reasoning for not wanting the peanut butter in the jelly isn't that big of a deal, a partner should still take into consideration that that's their partner's feelings, and I think she could have been more accommodating because he didn't approach it in an angry way by asking if she please not do that, at least from the way he told it. She showed his feelings don't matter, and yes it may have been a butthole reaction to just throw it out but it's kind of what she did to his feelings.

[@adrianmcbride1666]

My father tends to do this with our jam. I have then opened a new one, next time he wants peanut butter and jam we have two jars that are ruined for me. I have tried clearing the peanut butter out, but scooping more peanut butter into the jam would have been about just as effective.

[@mywingsareyours]

Agreed. It literally is food contamination. The food was made to sit in a jar by itself, not mixed with peanut butter. That can lead it to go bad or grow mold

[@candiebarr6745]

Period daughter just sounds embarrassed. Probably would have been easier to have the other daughter bring it up, but a bit of embarrassment isn't gonna kill her

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

The “my girl” story is just so comical I doubt it’s even real.

[@thebigmystery7841]

A quick note for people: "Freedom of speech protects you from the goverment, not someone dunking on you for your bad take."

[@angelicakaufman7183]

If that girl is coming over and eating that much meat and not getting sick trust me she's eating meat all the time just not at home

[@myrabeth77]

Peanut butter story: She's disgusting. She's also disrespectful of her partner. I could not share a kitchen with someone I saw do that, because I would never trust any previously opened container (especially condiments) ever again. Nasty woman.

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Yta. The children are in the wedding party. Alex has every right to say no extra kids. You can find your kid a babysitter.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 1 is NTA. Your brother is engaged to an ungrateful, high maintenance woman who is determined to find fault in absolutely everything, him included. He is going to be MISERABLE if he marries her.

[@GIChiyo]

The cop guy calling her "my girl" just rubbed me the wrong way, glad I wasn't alone in that one... Also wow he has a huge hero complex

[@julias2855]

My husband is very against drugs & alcohol. He’s very against weed. Because it’s illegal & can cause lots of legal problems. He said it’s good for cancer users, it’s just as “dangerous” as alcohol. Used in moderation is not that bad. Just like alcohol.

[@bailey678]

I might get hate for this but.......... The peanut butter and jelly story: I disagree with YTA. I hate absolutely hate PB&J. I think it's disgusting. I don't like the taste or texture of it. If I found some jelly mixed in the peanut butter jar or vise versa, I would be upset. Basically, I won't be able to eat it because it's now mixed together. So I agree with Op that it was "contaminated" in a way. Not everyone likes PB&J or even just mixing any kind of food together. I think the wife should have cleaned the knife. Or at the very least wiped it with a paper towel before dipping it in the other jar. It shows that the wife doesn't respect Ops food preferences or anyone else's but her own. It doesn't matter that she's pregnant. Being pregnant is not an excuse for being inconsiderate or selfish. And yes, they could have bought another jar of jelly but I think that's wasteful and unnecessary. What's the point of buying two separate jars of the same thing just because one person doesn't want to clean a utensil? That's stupid. It takes only a few seconds or a minute to wipe off a butter knife. Some people don't have the resources or money to buy two of the same thing just because one person doesn't want to keep something clean that they can share. Op may have been rude and could have been nicer about it but I agree with him. And Op did over react by throwing it away but so did the wife by passive aggressively "cleaning" the knife in the sink.

[@bubblegum_flavor551]

Dude should just buy his own jelly

[@joyzimmer5705]

Agree it’s disgusting and peanut butter in jelly is gross but if it was reverse it’s dangerous like jelly has to be refrigerated so alone on counter for 4 hours it starts to grow bacteria let alone mix it with new bacteria in peanut butter gross

[@tiffiebundy6497]

The daughters vegan friend: not the asshole. She is twelve which is more than old enough to know what she likes. The op never once said they forced the friend to eat. I grew up with friends who’s parents where strictly vegan. At 10-12 (the two youngest siblings) they did NOT want to follow the diet. They had an older sister (21) whom they where not allowed to eat with or be alone with because once she moved out of the house she stopped following their diet. And when as a teenager their parents found out older sister ate non vegan foods when going out to eat with friends or staying over they straight up stopped allowing her to do so. And my friends (the two younger siblings) where never allowed to do either because and I quote “you might be guilted into not following our rules with food” the kids did not want to be vegan and had no say. If op doesn’t tell the child that the food is not vegan friendly then they are the asshole. If they discussed with the child that the food they made is not vegan and they said they still wanted it then that’s that. Everyone screams about bodily autonomy but refuse to understand that includes what we eat and don’t eat. Forcing children to follow your strict diet without their input and fully ignoring their own requests is asshole parenting!

[@dswig4868]

For the pb&j one I *dont* thinking op is the asshole While yes he *did* over react As a *very* picky eater (it's a sensory thing) I understand completely That *would* ruin the entire jar for me

[@kristinewatson3702]

I stole my current cat. I've never regretted my brief life of crime for a second.

[@AJStarhiker]

PB&J story: YTA. My parents are a doctor and dietician. The only time we worried about getting PB in the jelly jar was if the jelly was to be used for visits from a friend with an allergic son.

[@sharonconnolly3820]

I'm pregnant that is a universal excuse for being special I e. Exempt from common courtesy. I don't want peanut butter in my jelly and if I ask you to not be nasty

[@adrianmcbride1666]

@@sharonconnolly3820 I am a guy, I hate the taste of peanut butter, and trying to get the a jam sandwich once some peanut butter has gotten in to the container is darn near impossible.

[@ilovestormydayz]

I have sensory issues where I don't like different textures or surprise flavours that aren't supposed to be there. And if I'm going to have a jam sandwich I definitely don't want to have a hit of peanut butter out of nowhere or the texture of it. that will make it so I will not eat at all. It is pretty inconsiderate to make a mess that way, when you share Living Spaces someone else

[@EnDB]

The kid does not get sick from the meat and dairy, which means she has it, at least, semi regularly.

[@PushingThroughThePain]

Here's my issue with accommodating vegans who expect/demand to be accommodated: are said vegans willing to accommodate non-vegans when they come over? Usually, the answer is "no." I've accommodated vegans preferences. I'm not a fan of meatless or a complete lack of animal byproducts as I like the flavors, the satisfaction, and do not share the same... convictions... as vegans do and am not swayed by the whole "meat is murder" argument. But if I, as a non vegan, must be willing to accommodate their *preferences* when hosting, then why can they not be willing to accommodate non-vegan preferences when hosting? There seems to be an imbalance in expectations... That's all I'm saying.

[@suestoons]

Interesting. I've never thought about this before. To my mind, everyone is responsible for managing their own food intake. Varying degrees of familiarity absolutely dictate varying degrees of accommodation, of course. There is a *HUGE* difference between allergy and preference. Deathly allergies scare me to death and on the few occasions I've had to incorporate them I've had lengthy discussions with the allergic person in advance. I'm pretty much an omnivore and I was 20 before I was presented with a meal I absolutely couldn't stomach. I played with it, tasted everything and grabbed a burger on the way home. The occasion that includes a meal is more important than the actual eating of the food.

[@ophilianecr]

Because when you accommodate a vegan you are not going against your moral or ethical beliefs as a lifestyle. Vegans do. Second, a person with an omnivorous diet does NOT risk any health side effects by eating healthier, because vegans do get sick when they eat even small amounts of meat or dairy and their biproducts. As somebody mentioned, it "shocks" the body. Their digestive system suffers and so does the sinuses causing headaches, or they can get allergic responses.

[@kellypatterson8506]

1st story that vegan dinner sounds delicious, send it my way:) and I'm a omnivore.

[@joeyblack45k]

The cop one has to be a troll

[@sandraskellen3172]

Gosh what is wrong with women today, I had a six year old and a new born and a hairdressing business to run with no family around, they were 3 hrs away I coped while my husband went to watch a rugby match for two nights how mean is his wife

[@mikimishisa]

That's great that you felt you could do that but not everyone wants to pr can. As well as every baby isn't the same.

[@Khaisz.]

1:56:16 if you gonna bite the hand that feeds you, don't be mad when it stops feeding you.

[@kerryday]

Peanut butter and jelly story. I use a knife for the peanut butter, and Spoon out the jam

[@faeriefire78]

Vegas story: I get it, but 3 nights isn't that bad for something that important to him if he's pulling his fair share otherwise. I was 21 when I had my first and due to really crap circumstances I was on my own 2 weeks after her birth. I lived in a multi-generational home at the time, husband lived in another state temporarily. I had to juggle my newborn (breastfed, bonus pressure), my two elementary aged brothers, two preschool-elementary aged cousins, and two alcoholic, entitled uncles. I was expected to cook, clean, and care for everyone (male adults too), while managing and driving to appointments, grocery shopping, getting everyone to and from school, etc. I was depressed and beyond anxious, but had to put on a brave face about it all and couldn't let it show. I managed that way for almost four months, dealing with postpartum depression, a tough time breastfeeding, and my body healing from a not so easy birth. If I could do that as little more than a child myself, I think three days is doable for a one-time thing.

[@Sarah-yj6lf]

Inhumane practices at olive farms are a serious matter. The olives are just left outside to the elements before they're crammed into a tiny jar with no room to run.

[@jimbobjones9330]

Never mind that they're first drowned in salt water because they don't "taste good" without that being done first.

[@sharonblevins3281]

Hahaha!

[@sharonblevins3281]

YAA Not your place to feed her m>ok and meet. Shame on you teaching her to keep secrets. Terrible parenting. SMH

[@ramonah66]

The pb and j story, if she doesn’t mind how the peanut butter reacts to jelly long term then he should just get his own.

[@trudyreddecop3930]

Vegas trip, I have 3 kids 5 4 and 6 weeks and I handle them by my self my husband is never around

[@standinthegsp6858]

You’re training him up to be a good boyfriend & husband. It’s time to make his dad step up & do it himself.

[@RevWarRev]

Childfree Wedding Drama: Totally the AH. Obvioulsy Alex knows how bad her relatives are. Alex owed OP no explanation for her childfree wedding. Not only is OP an entitled AH, so is OP's Dad and the rest of these unreasonable AHs. Guessing Alex could make her own Redditt post: 'My entitled Cousin wants to bring her brats to my childfree wedding. and has stirred up that side of the family. Her father has called my Dad telling him he should refuse to contribute to the wedding if I don't let his grandchildren come, and others are threatening to bring thier kids anyway and getting really nasty. Our wedding is at a beautiful historic house on a lake, and it just isn't ideal for kids. And many of the kids aren't well behaved or really young. I was so upset over this when another teacher asked about my wedding at lunch I broke down crying, and our security guard offered to come and stand door to prevent drama. AITA?