AITA For RESENTING Cleaning After The Office Men But Not The Women r/Relationships

[@Mia-dt3gl]

I just love how the men treated the women like they were making a mountain out of a hill regarding the cleaning situation and acted like there was no problem, but the minute the women stop doing anything they start passive-aggressively telling them to clean and absolutely refusing to do any cleaning themselves. Like wow, now who’s making a mountain out of a hill?

[@tallyp.7643]

Yeah, if it's "not such a big deal", then why can't they do it? It goes both ways. Of course, getting rid of the company dishes and having everyone bring their own would be the best solution. Dunno why paper plates for pizza or birthday cakes and plasticware aren't good enough for the break room, but oh well. They could institute a policy of "you bring it, you clean it." And if it sits there and becomes a biohazard, it gets thrown away, no if's, ands, or buts. Would probably happen only 3 or 4 times before one of those guys' wives starts bitching them out over not bringing home the meal containers and wasting money having to find replacements and they either never bring in anything again or go the fast-food route/ brown-bag it.

[@angeldark404]

Drop it on their desks.

[@alexnightray3204]

It's sad that this is still going on in 2023...what have a lot of boys been taught at home?

[@stutikhanna987]

Think about it how these men behave in there homes. I hear how many men complaint about there wives nagging them for help but i have literally experience there are times when males literally left there dirty dishes on tables or anywhere they wanted without care and leaving there dirty laundry where they feel and throwing garbage on floors and then make a Pikachu face why the hell it's a big deal to clean after us when you're stay at home wife. They act like toddlers seriously and then feel we are wrong.

[@alexnightray3204]

@@stutikhanna987 It is unfortunate that men model these behaviors to their boys, where the women are labeled as 'nagging' when all they want is basic respect and consideration.

[@Merryfrances]

I love how asking the men to clean up after themselves is labeled as “nagging” and “making a big deal over nothing” and they actually Boo’d the women. Then when OP asks a male friend for his opinion, he thinks her stance is “passive aggressive.” Weaponized incompetence, sexism, and patronizing condescension all rolled into one fun package.

[@WobblesandBean]

And men seriously claim that gender inequality is a thing of the past.

[@QWERT-ht7vd]

@@WobblesandBean Men Don't *Boys* Do.

[@WobblesandBean]

​@@QWERT-ht7vd Well then, it's time for the men to start telling off the boys every time y'all see it happening, cuz they sure aren't going to listen to us. 😞

[@yougotmadthatswhyyoureplie9490]

@@WobblesandBean those aren’t men

[@MizTameRumors]

It is passive aggressive, she needs to be aggressive and start throwing plates. You get a pass to do that that in sexist spaces, they'l just think it's hormones.

[@peculiarpossum7149]

Not only have the other women built up cleaning karma, she came back, apologized, and was genuinely upset that you had to deal with them. Vs Tim "Boos people during meetings for having a normal mature request"

[@ItzPubby]

the fact is, one of the girls still left it like that with her own stuff. Doing EXACTLY what they are complaining about. You cant whine about something and then do exactly that without being labled a hypocrite.

[@peculiarpossum7149]

@@ItzPubby Except what they're complaining about is people leaving their dishes in the sink and *expecting* the women to take care of it. They're not whining about anything, either: they're rightfully asking that they not be made into personal dishwashers alongside their actual job.

[@frozenyogurth]

@@ItzPubby The difference is repeat offense my guy. There is a difference between leaving the dishes one time, and repeatedly not doing them and expecting someone else (in this case the women in the office) to do them for them. The female coworker is clearly not a repeat offender, so there isn't an issue. Life happens. Meanwhile the other men do that all the time.

[@Nevertoleave]

@@ItzPubby wow, you have really no idea about how there’s a difference between expecting women to clean up after you like they’re your mommy and not being able to get to them one time because you’re busy. You might as well be going, “I don’t see the difference between jay walk and murder.”

[@AmyRuby]

@@ItzPubbyexcept that the woman was apologetic and TECHNICALLY it was for her whole department so it would have a been nice if one of those assholes had offered to take care of it.

[@mracula1667]

Story 1: NTA. This is why most companies don’t have dishes in their break room. It would be nice if people could be adults but that’s not reality. The only way to take care of this is to set the conditions that people utilize their own dishes.

[@tallyp.7643]

Yeah, I wonder why the hell the company did that. No, they should supply the cleaning supplies and sink, but that's it. People should bring their own dishes. It's just ridiculous. And at best, paper plates. Then no worry about cleaning dishes. My guess is this setup was made by a man who was clearly NEVER going to eat in the break room and deal with cleaning the dishes, anyway. Ugh.

[@Sasha-up9er]

Our company just has a dishwasher 😂 (tbh I'm not in the office enough to know how well that works out or the logistics of it though)

[@Sifya]

I'm a housekeeper in care house and unfortunately despite being a rule about staff must clean their plates or cups by themselves, in the end as housekeepers have to clean up after them. Like we don't have to clean up with people who are affected by dementia 😅😅

[@HobieInTheBox]

The stores I've worked at here have dishes and such, and the staff are adult enough to do the dishes. This is insane to me, how people just refuse to clean up after themselves

[@rubymeaddle]

Bruh we have multiple signs telling people to stop brushing their goddamn teeth in the food prep sink

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

“It’s not fat shaming to tell someone to stop behaving as if they were 3/4 locust” 😂 funniest thing I’ve heard all day.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

That is the best comment by far. 😂😂

[@WobblesandBean]

I literally snurked my coffee 😂

[@vanzy01]

😂😂

[@darkmask5933]

It's true though, there's fat shaming, and there's calling someone out for being a glutton.

[@tallyp.7643]

she sounds like a person who eats out of boredom. That's where most of my poundage came from in my teen years. Lonely and food was a way to cope with not having anyone to talk to and anything to do (other than chores or homework). Had no real hobbies and lived too far out from anyone my age to hang out or visit. Was a really active, allowed to run the neighborhood and hang with friends kid that thanks to a paranoid stepmom, suddenly became a latchkey kid not allowed to go anywhere. Such an abrupt change in lifestyle made it hard to cope, so food became it. Made just mindlessly eating, even when you don't really want it or shouldn't have it, really easy. Doesn't take long to go into ED territory badly, one way or another. She's being a total glutton on his dime, though. OP should've put her on the phone and had her explain to sister what happened to the cupcakes he was gonna give her for her birthday. Would love to see GF floundering for an answer that didn't make her look terrible. Of course, she could lie her butt off that he didn't tell her, but sheesh. He should keep a cooler in his car or something for a week and take away any spare keys while she scrambles to eat anything in the house, finally having to use her own money to binge. Wonder how long that behavior would last then.

[@raptoress6131]

Story 1: NTA, carry your own food container, fork and water with you and don't do any free work for others.

[@givemeanameman1]

she is the ahole... is it wrong for cops to assume a crime was committed by a black person because they commit the majority of crime in the USA? Yes its racist... while its probable, you don't assume. She assumed a male was responsible for the dishes and was wrong. Honestly the company sounds like a nightmare... they need food during meetings? Meetings are for talking, not eating, maybe a few plates of biscuits AT MOST. The fact the women don't seem to understand that the aholes leaving the plates know and don't give a damn... so reminding them what they are doing is "wrong" won't change their behavior at all... in fact as a guy I find it highly annoying. Never give an order(or suggestion) you know will be ignored, it makes you look weak.

[@KittenUndercover]

She still has to use the smelly kitchen though

[@tallyp.7643]

@@KittenUndercover Not really. If your containers have a good seal on them, you can just scrape out what you can into the garbage (or toilet if it's mostly liquid leftovers--learned that trick at a job where we had no kitchen). wipe off the utensil with your napkin to get the obvious food off, put it back in your lunch bag to take it home to wash later. Won't have to go near the kitchen. It only becomes a smell issue if you leave it in a sunny hot spot for hours or overnight.

[@marygilbert6105]

Story 1: All women should start using disposable dishes and utensils, and totally ignoring the sink. Bring in bottled water to add to food when needed. Wash hands in bathroom sink. Continue to ignore kitchen sink. After a while, maybe call health department, or OSHA? Maybe that would light a fire under HR? If company directly says to women employees that cleaning the dishes/kitchen is their job, but not the men who have the same job title, file a complaint with the EEOC, and the labor board.

[@MydieLy]

Disposable? Yeah right, so very good for the environment...

[@Flakey101]

@@MydieLy If they use paper plates and keep their own cultery in their desks it is minimal damage, and it works. They had the right idea in the story, but one of them broke down and cleaned before it could work.

[@MydieLy]

@@Flakey101 nothing about the casual overuse of disposable cutlery in the US is "minimal damage"...

[@Flakey101]

@@MydieLy True, I do not come from the US, and disposable cutlery is rarely used here.

[@DoritoBot9000]

better bring your own stuff and remove all common use dishes from the kitchen. If the dudes can’t clean after themselves, they can’t eat there either. End of story.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1- needs to get a lawyer and start recording every interaction with HR and bring a suit against them if they're using illegal practices to penalize employees! You teach people how to treat you!

[@OmniscientlyMe]

Illegality may depend on the country it's happening in.

[@darkmask5933]

Final story: I'm sorry, at that point 6 months in and not being able to eat for the last three days of every week, I would have lost my cool so much faster. No way I would not have broken up with her after a couple of months. I hate when people hide behind "don't fat shame me", being a glutton is not a good thing! You should be shamed if you're literally eating so much you're gaining 30 pounds while your boyfriend goes hungry! When did it not become ok to shame greedy people just because they are gross gluttons?

[@khaleesireyna731]

Food insecurity is still a worry in my mind (has been since I was a kid). If I went 3 days without eating like that I'd be ready to either cry, scream or just throw the gf out. Gf is a lazy idiot for thinking that she can just keep doing that because we all make totally rational decisions when we're starving /s.

[@thecrebain6760]

Story 3: So OP is working, spending all his money on bills and groceries and she eats his part of the little food they can afford. I don't care what bad mental state is behind this, you do not eat a loved one's share of the food when there is such a shortage of it!

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@darkmask5933]

She's a glutton and should be shamed for it.

[@shanittathompson2039]

Omg! Right! That man is starving and she is worried about be fat shamed...which he was not doing!

[@ophilianecr]

Lets not be ignorant when making comments about mental health, shall we?😒😒 The brain works completely different for someone with a mental health/ ED issue. The girlfriend may not want to do what she does, but her issue could be compulsory, or a mix of things like ED/ depression/OCD etc.🤨 Which is exactly why this guy needs to sit her down and tell her point blank, either she gets help for binge eating/ stress eating, or she has to move out/get a job to feed herself the way she wants. AND he's goig to lock up his food in a lock box until the issue is resolved😒. Mental health is no excuse, but that doesn't mean she doesn't need to be directed into a path to ACTUALLY SOLVE the issue and get help for herself. EDs completely hijack the mind, and they're not "reasonable", she cant stop without the tools to know how. If he really cares about her and the relationship, he's going to set boundaries that help her and himself for the long run.

[@pinklemonade8320]

Lets not be condescending when making comments about mental health, shall we?😒😒 No one is blaming her for binge eating, they are blaming her for knowingly starving her partner and stealing a minor's birthday present. I get that you're going for the "she can't help herself" angle but I don't buy it. All signs point to her just being selfish in nature: 1) She's okay with mooching off OP after she left her previous job in a way that disqualified her from unemployment. In Canada this means she either quit and lied to OP that she got laid off, or she did something extremely stupid and/or sketchy. I lean towards the first because she quit from fucking Timmies (Canadian fast coffee chain) 2) Barely looks for other work 3) Worked an entry-level job for a negligible amount of time but quit because it's "too hard" 4)Refuses to help OP by at least taking on some chores (this was in OP's comments that didn't get included in the video) 5) Refused to apologize, ask for help, or even acknowledge that she did something wrong when OP informed her that he had been starving for days at a time and that she ate his sister's birthday present. Instead just cried manipulative crocodile tears and accused OP of being mean to make herself the victim. Even if you remove her eating habits from this whole post, she's a deeply selfish person for literally using OP. I've seen BED in my loved ones and I'm sure there are lots of people with BED that aren't going around stealing cupcakes from children. She just doesn't care because she was a bad person even before she started overeating.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

“Ugh, you sound like my wife”…then stop treating me like I am!

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Nope. If the women are the only ones being adults and cleaning up after themselves and the men aren't, that's their fault. Leave the men's dirty dishes there, take pictures every single time there's a new one or batch, and send an email to the managers every time, that way if they fire you for it, it'll be grounds for a lawsuit based on sexism and retaliation

[@thekameru6058]

I'd start bringing my own food. In a big bento box. With a set of eating utensils. And my own drink. I'd make myself really nice food. And I would never go near that feckin sink ever again. But I would complain endlessly about the smell if it was bad. And if I found any food missing, I'd randomly start spiking it with super hot chili. And then I'd look for a different job.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 1: So the men at this company are mostly immature jerks who think women exist in the workplace to cater to them. I feel sorry for their wives, especially the one married to the idiot who said "You sound like my wife." Okay, so he's a slob at home, too? Wow.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "He confronted me the next day and said it was really sexist that I would say messes are ok when women left them but not men" It's really not, first of all, considering that that isn't what Op said. Second of all, the women have been the main damn ones cleaning, and when they try to ask the others to do it for once, they get accused of "nagging" or making a big deal out of nothing. What tf are they, really tall toddlers? Did their mommies always pick up after them their whole lives and now they expect every other woman to as well? Are they gonna cry? Do I hear a little bit of sniffling coming from them after Op hurt their feelings? Aw poor babies, call their moms, sounds like they're still needed.

[@WobblesandBean]

I would stage a walk out for the women only, all go on nice long vacations, and let the men sit in their filth. When the cleaning crew inevitably quits cuz of the smell, maybe they'll get the hint.

[@Drakonfire286]

The statement would absolutely be sexist, if OP had actually said it, but she didn't, so it isn't.

[@ItzPubby]

It's a double standard. and yes it is sexist.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

@@ItzPubby But its not what OP had said to him, it is what he CHOSE to hear from her.

[@markersandtea]

@ItzPuppy The men set that double standard in the first place. They don't get to cry sexism when it's reciprocated back at them while claiming "it's no big deal" when they do it to their female coworkers.

[@vanzy01]

The inconsiderate girlfriend eat all the food and yet she still somehow the victim 🤷🏿‍♀️. Op is actually starving we're supposed to have sympathy for the girlfriend because she might have a mental issue. I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out she was doing this on purpose.

[@Norinia]

Not surprising. I got banned from AITA because I pointed out how monstrously fucked up it was for this woman to have locked up her ‘homeless nephew’, used his EBT as she pleased and only gave him a small pittance, and then finally when his small amount of food ran out, she forced him to sit and starve in the apartment, and watch her eat takeout twice a week while proclaiming she had nothing to help him with. (She said she was in Chicago, so I pointed out how it made no sense how he was emaciated and in survival mode (she beat him and screeched at him for taking an extremely small portion of her leftover takeout rice) yet she never mentioned him being allowed to a food bank or soup kitchen.)

[@LiveLocallyNow]

@@Norinia not related to food but i got an aita mod warning for calling a man child and man child…i was being too mean

[@audreynothepburn7663]

@@LiveLocallyNow wait, what? That’s being too mean? That’s just a harmless insult compared to the ones I heard.

[@skyelindsey687]

@@LiveLocallyNow I once got told I couldn’t share a story because I couldn’t “post personal info or family drama”. … it was me not wanting my brother to eat all my food that I paid for when he worked at a job that paid $4 more per hour than I was getting, he just didn’t want to go food shopping. Also, can’t post family drama yet a good 70% of AITA posts are family drama?

[@ShubhamBH22]

Yeah, that shit is breakup worthy, especially after she ate the cupcakes that was supposed to be for OP's sister's birthday. Everyone is telling OP to help her, but If the genders were reversed, reddit would 100% be telling OP to drop the 'unemployed loser bf' and move on.

[@MysticEle]

I'm a guy, and I adore doing dishes. Given how so many see it as "b*itch" work (sorry ladies, but I've heard many men and women refer to it thusly), and as a result don't want to do it, I'm left WELL alone when I do. More people need to realize the value of "B" work.

[@StefenBruh]

There is no inherent value in bitch work, that's why you'll never get promoted for grabbing your managers coffee. It's not even really a noble or great thing to do the dishes considering the majority of first world homes come with a dish washer. It's not hard just tedious, and the respect you should be looking for is the sheer willpower of actually getting it done. Same applies with mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, general chores. It's self rewarding, and will never earn you any kind of merit, but it's something that's gotta be done. I hope you only do your own share. Or at least act like the dishes are annoying as hell so you can trade a chore you genuinely don't like doing lmao.

[@Ni-boo]

Honestly, a man who chooses to not engage in something because "masculinity" just comes off as the man not being secure in his masculinity.

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

Doing that kind of work will not earn you respect by your colleagues or higher ups. They're more likely to pass you over for promotion because you're more useful at your current job, doing all the stuff they don't want to do themselves. People freshly coming into the work place might see you do this stuff and assume it's part of your job tasks, that's when the active disrespect starts. You might even get demoted and get a pay cut. Taking on chores that aren't yours is always risky.

[@ss-ds2dn]

Huh? The entire point of calling it b work is to devalue it...I don't care how many women you've heard call it that. Internalized misogyny is a hell of a drug. Women really just need to start monetizing their services or stop doing uncompensated work.

[@gretchenmyers1279]

story 1, file a suit for creating a hostile work environment

[@sleepyearth]

HR will not protect the women. OP already said it's the old-style sexism office politics.

[@WobblesandBean]

It's very hard to do. No one took me seriously when I tried to sue my former employer for being sexist AND racist against me. They even tried to make me sign a document saying I was forfeiting my severance pay, which I'm pretty sure is illegal. Even then, no one would take my case.

[@gretchenmyers1279]

@@WobblesandBean that is horrible, I'm sorry you had to go through it.

[@IvanScriptsEverything]

@@WobblesandBean holy crap. I'm so sorry. I hate it when men do everything in their power to be devils, even though I'm a guy myself.

[@Chickenfriedpenguin]

or you know stop whining that you feel obligated to clean and just don't do it. like wtf

[@KateKanenator]

Story 1: NTA. If they're going to act like children, treat them like children. Create a chores schedule and assign dishwashing duty to people. Too much work to do? Boo hoo. Find a time and do it!

[@camellia8625]

The problem will be making the men honour their turn on the rota. Why should someone be washing up the dishes of a grown adult.

[@carpediem6431]

Story 1. I worked at a place where people (both men and women) would repeatedly leave their dishes in the sink for others to do. It became divisive. An email was sent around saying a large box had been placed in the staff room and any dirty dishes left in the sink were to be placed in it. The cleaners had been instructed by management to throw out the contents of the box nightly with the rest of the offices garbage. Problem solved itself within a few days.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 3- Teaching people how to treat you must be a theme! But breaking food boundaries are a lot more important than people think. It seems like she's transferring some resentment to OP and using the food boundaries to provoke him because it's something she can control. Then she DARVOs him with the fat shaming crap! *edited for typos

[@darkmask5933]

Agreed, I would have broken up with her fat ass after 2 months of this.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 I wouldve cussed him from east to west and so would all my friends. If the GF who he was with didn't sincerely apologize and swear I'd never see him again, I'd be done with her. Stories like this make me tired. If everyone agrees fine, but no one should ever be pressured to pay anything more than their portion.

[@jennysmith38]

When all of our friend group went out for dinner etc, we always paid for our own meals and drinks, if it was someone's birthday, we would all put in to pay for them. I remember going out to work lunches, we all paid for our own meals then too, but we had a boss, that would walk around the table and take food off of our plates, she never ordered anything, nor did she offer to pay for anything. If she tried get take anything off of my plate, I would lean over to talk to the person next to me, blocking her from getting to my plate. One of the big bosses came to one of the work lunches and saw what she was doing, he must have said something to her, as she stopped coming to the work lunches.

[@johnprodject3403]

Me neither, I guessed it would be a dog.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 3: NTA. GF is depressed, which ok I don’t believe but let’s say she is, then she’s aware of their situation and SHOULD know not to eat everything in the house to the point her partner has to go days without meals. It’s more likely looking like she’s being selfish

[@darkmask5933]

I'm surprised OP is still with her after 6 months, I would have broken up with her by 2 months tops.

[@Deviczek]

@@darkmask5933 Surprised redditors didn't even suggest that, if that was an unemployed fat man eating gf stuff they would've told her to throw him to the curbs immediately.

[@cnow82]

She needs a lawyer for discrimination! HR penalize people for bullying and sexual harassment?! That isn’t legal!! Document everything!

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, there is absolutly no reason for you to split the bill for food you can't/won't.didn't eat. Also your group should be also getting separate bills for things like drinks (alcohol). A guy like "Aaron", is the reason splitting bills is a bad idea, they deliberately increase the bill because they know they will only have to pay a small portion of the increase.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2- another instance where you teach people how to treat you. I wouldn't have yelled back at Aaron, but he would definitely have had his @$$ handed to him in the most bless his heart way!

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Tell him that he ordered 2 different items and upped the cost of the total and that means everyone else now has a higher percentage they have to now pay than if he only ordered one item!

[@Taecoconut]

Errrmmm yeah so this happened at work (we work with youngsters) and it’s also a lot of female teenagers - pretty much what ended up happening (I’m a manger) is that I sent an email memo saying that the sink was dirty and a friendly reminder that this wasn’t home and to please clean up after their own mess”. This didn’t happen so I threw the dirty dishes and took away all the cutlery etc so they would have to bring their own in. - we have no issues now cos they know i would just throw it away if it wasn’t cleaned and they don’t like their cups being thrown away or having to spend money buying several cups a week 😂

[@tallyp.7643]

Oh yeah. I was a receptionist at one job and sometimes we'd end up with stray lunch bags or tupperware that nobody was sure about. Roughly every 3 or 4 months we'd clean out and re-arrange the cabinets and if no-one claimed a bowl, cup, or bag, it would go to whoever wanted it or get chucked in the trash. Nobody had a problem with it, and some cups were in daily use, so we knew who they belonged to. Others were up for grabs.

[@psyolytesaille]

​​@@tallyp.7643 Get anything pretty? I'd never bring it back after I got it xD.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

Story 1: Go to Home Depot and buy a box of Contractor Bags. Those are very large, VERY thick plastic bags. Then just put any dirty dishes left in the sink into the Contractor bag and close it up. No more stink. No more mess. If the men want dishes, they're eventually going to have to clean them.

[@ItzPubby]

that, or stick to the protesting. Like, nothing will change if the men still are coddled.... The fact they cave to the pressure and LET the men get what they want is the issue and why they keep at it.

[@mindyschocolate]

Good idea!

[@oceana3070]

I once worked in an office with a shared kitchen. Apparently it got messy (I wouldn’t know since I very rarely used it…maybe half a dozen times in 5 years) and a senior staff member stayed late to clean it one day. The office manager heard about this and sent around an angry email to the junior staff only saying it was despicable that the high ranked staffer had to clean up, and she was henceforth instituting a ‘cleanup roster’ that only had the junior staff - me included -on it. We all refused and one by one sent reply all emails politely saying we weren’t going to follow the cleaning roster. It wasn’t that we weren’t happy to clean, but the manager didn’t even work on our floor. She just blindly assumed the junior staffers were responsible for the mess (when many of us actually observed the opposite). We were also junior staff but very much adults (early 20s) and it just felt like we were being treated like naughty children. The whole thing was so petty, but it was a little funny watching this woman seething because there was nothing she could do when we all refused to the cleaning schedule.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

I have medical conditions that require me to eat a very specific diet. I have to order my own food at restaurants even when I am out with my family, and give specific instructions to servers. I have dealt with a couple people who still demand trying my food. I have to be very harsh about it and push back when people talking about splitting the bill.

[@lm2720]

The last story.. my ex did this when he was laid off. Turned out he was also on drugs. It only took him about 3 days to eat 2 weeks worth of groceries. Nothing was safe. One time we went to an orchard near our house and they make fudge there. They only sold it by the pound, and it was buy 2 get 1 free. We both wanted different kinds. He ended up getting 2 lbs, I got one. That night I went to work. Came home in the morning, remembered I had fudge in the fridge. Went to get a piece. There were 2 empty fudge containers still in the fridge, and only about a quarter of mine was left. I hadn't even touched it yet. After months of spending hundreds of dollars at the grocery store only to come home a few days later to no food, him denying he was doing it, and him not contributing in ANY meaningful way... I lost my shit. Not a proud moment, but I went upstairs, took my boot off, and chucked it right at his face while screaming absolute bloody murder. I don't even remember what I said, but I know it was laden with all kinds of insults. Who tf eats nearly 3 lbs of fudge in a single night? We didn't last too long after that. It got to the point that he disgusted me. Just leave the girl. It doesn't get better, and you are not responsible for her mental health.

[@vanzy01]

The inconsiderate girlfriend eat all the food and yet she still somehow the victim 🤷🏿‍♀️

[@paulastiles5507]

This. It's not that she's probably got some mental health issues going on. It's that she's blaming OP for expecting her to deal with them after those issues do him harm. Like, come on. Glad you broke up with the BF.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

She’s bored and eating to fill the time. She definitely needs to get a job! Tell her get a job, any job, or she’s out! Once she realizes that you are serious, she will miraculously get a job. Not my thing doesn’t fly cause most people feel that way about their jobs!

[@Zminator1986]

Story 1: Throw the dishes away. If the men cry about it, their problem.

[@faeb.9618]

throw the men away too while you're at it!

[@cycymaca]

Exactly.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Yeah idk like I never felt gender discrimination because I never felt obligated to do anything for men except for my male relatives whom you would expect to do something for, as in household chores. Anyone else is like lol 😂 I ain’t ya mom bro gtfo. Throw the dishes away 🥱.

[@0potion]

​@@sonialinsey8083I'm getting really sick of people saying throw the dishes away the poster said that the dishes belong to her company she would have been fired if she just threw them away. Admittedly in the update she ended up going for a new job anyway so in a hindsight she should have just thrown them away. But realistically that is not a solution to her problem it would only made it worse. And if we're going to go Throw around Gender discrimination let's talk about my situation. I am literally the only man employee at a motel that I work at at any time there is required to do anything at all on the outside of the store or the requires be lifting more than 10 pounds I am the only one that does it. And anytime I'm making a complaint about it I get responded with this is man work.

[@Zminator1986]

@@faeb.9618 Out the window of the floor they work at 🤣👍

[@nancycox204]

Story 1: I worked in an office like that. Before I started, the admins got together and threw away ALL the dishes left behind in the sink at the end of the day. After that NO DISHES were allowed to be left in the kitchen. Friday after work the entire fridge would be emptied and everything thrown away. But the microwaves were really bad, especially just after breakfast burritos. Mostly it was the younger men, the older ones tended to clean up after themselves.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

4:12 - I wonder if the men would still think it was "making a big deal out of nothing" if they were the ones constantly cleaning other people's messes?

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: so the dishes go unwashed "forever". Don't crack, don't wash the dishes. Eff 'em.

[@ItzPubby]

thats what i am saying lol the fact it's still going is becuase you crack and let them force you to clean. If you dont want to clean other peoples stuff, then... DONT lol simple xD

[@floraposteschild4184]

@@ItzPubby The women of the office want the cleaning to be fair and reasonable. That's obviously not going to happen in this office. Next, the women are going to want equal pay and opportunities.

[@joeschmo622]

Oh, and I got burned a couple of times "spitting the bill". I'd have a burger and coffee and others would load up on the lobster ravioli, steak, have at least 2 beers to wash it down, as well as ordering fried calamari, onion blossom, etc., "for the table" but all that stayed parked in front of the 3 who inhaled it all. F that noise, I totalled up when I ordered, added tax/tip, rounded up a bit, and tossed in *that* and no more. Got asked why'd I toss in like 13bux when the split was 25, and I just explained what I ate and that should more than cover it. Got "Oh..." but everyone pretty much left it alone. If anyone would try to push, I'd just not go to lunch with them anymore. No big.

[@tallyp.7643]

I never understood the idea of a group of people splitting the bill. Plus it feels intended to make a swindler get out ahead and some quiet person foot their portion. To me it makes no sense. When I eat with someone, I always get separate checks. Plus, with large groups, its easy for things to go by the wayside on the check or some discrepancy to happen. If the check is split according to each person and what they ordered, less mistakes. Otherwise if it's someone's treat then they pay and others might pitch in for the tip, but that's about it. I'd feel awful "splitting the check". And the whole idea of ordering appetizers "for the whole table"? Oh, hells no.

[@joeschmo622]

@@tallyp.7643 That's exactly why they do it. The slobs load up and get subsidised by those who eat less and especially *drink* less. And they get to claim it's "fair" because everyone puts in the same amount. _"Well, it averages out..."_ And it's almost always the case where the slobs sit next to each other, typically at one end of the table, so that all the sides get parked there, *they* inhale it all, and those who aren't slobs never even get the chance to smell the stuff, let alone eat any of it.

[@ItzPubby]

@@tallyp.7643 It's not a problem of splitting the check. It's a problem of people over eating and taking advantage of other people. This is why dinner parties need to be planned on what is being on the table. anything more, that's on you to pay.

[@tallyp.7643]

@@ItzPubby That makes sense. Guess so many people hope that others will feel too awkward to speak up in public. Going full rant-mode isn't helpful, but letting someone know you're not gonna be taken advantage of, firmly and calmly, needs to happen. Funny how those of us always taught "don't make a scene or embarrass yourself" in public end up on the crap end of situations like this. Sudden embarrassment is a helluva paralyzer.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - NTA. Seldom messes by people you know help clean up is not comparable to being upset about a group of people who never help no matter how bad it gets (some of who always make the mess) and who shut down all conversations about it in meetings. That sounds like a shitty work environment, and I’ve worked with 400+ gamer guys in an office, our administrative staff would have lost their shit at people for disrespecting shared spaces by leaving messes like these coworkers of OP.

[@SouthernBell86]

Story 1 - NTA obviously, but I also can't imagine ever willingly cleaning up my coworkers dirty dishes unless it was in my job description. I'm a woman, but I would just literally never feel like I needed to do that. The dishes could be rotting so badly I need to wear nose plugs to avoid the smell - I'm going to make them regret their own selfishness before I reward them. If other women complained to me about the men being messy I'd just ask them why they were volunteering to be servants for assholes. If a man ever compared me to his wife in such a derogatory way I'd seriously laugh. Fortunately the men in my office aren't such jerks, I don't feel like I encounter this type of thing in my current workplace. Definitely had some jobs where this was a problem to some degree, but all the places with communal dishes had dishwashers and staff that would be in charge of running those and unloading them.

[@Mkay999]

Story 1: my office will THROW AWAY dishes left in the sink at the end of the day. People can bring and clean whatever they want. If it’s still there, it will be gone!

[@ladyofshallott5005]

The sad thing about the first story is, that I have been in almost the same situation in several companies in my life: men not cleaning up in the office after themselves, or not making more coffee when it's empty and getting angry at me or other female colleagues for not doing it. Once a guy even told me with a grin that he didn't know how to use the coffee machine and I was petty for not just making the coffee. The coffee machine had one button and he was an engineer... In all these companies you would hardly ever see women in leadership roles, men got promoted far more easily, but if you dared point that out you were told that it's all in your head, we have equality nowadays so leave us alone with your outdated feminism. It's so frustrating, especially since you often have no way to change it, when all guys in the office stick together with their weaponized incompetence and all you can do is resigning to not having any coffee or clean dishes at all.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

I knew a man who was a Mensa member who insisted that he didn't know how to use the washing machine or the vacuum cleaner. Mr. Big Brain supposedly couldn't figure out these appliances, so his wife did everything. It's intentional helplessness.

[@Equinyx666]

I've worked in robot programming and I agree with you 100%. Sexism is definitely STILL a huge thing in STEM fields. It's bullshit. I quit my job because they wouldn't send me on field work (which paid about 3x more), it was always just the men and the 3 women in our team never getting the opportunity. So I just gave up, I don't have the energy to fight against sexist systems, in year 2023 like come the fuck on.

[@ladyofshallott5005]

@@Equinyx666 yeah, I've experienced that, too. "Coincidentally" certain jobs or projects were only assigned to male colleagues. When over the course of several years the same positions had been filled by men and women due to people leaving etc and somehow the men were always getting certain tasks, not the person with job title XYZ, you loose hope. Oh, and don't forget that the reason why men got promoted was because they did good work on certain projects, but women never got those tasks assigned. That was of course swept under the rug. It was always "X has to do this, because he is in position Y and has skill Z." One year later a woman with skill Z is in position Y and can't do this task because of yet another bullshit reason.

[@LostPeopleOfEarth158]

I work as a housekeeper. It's not often but I do have to clean feces sometimes. The worst one was a partially incontinent old man. I had to scrub it out of the carpet a couple times. The entire time I was like, "Please have a dog. Please have a dog." He eventually got kicked out for it. My manager gets really mad when I have to clean stuff like that and will occasionally pay me extra for it. Since it's gross but also a health and safety risk. It certainly rains on my day when it does happen but I have a strong stomach and just wash my hands, go home, and take a long hot shower.

[@juliodavila424]

1st OP missed an opportunity served in a silver platter: "You sound like my wife." So many answers: "Fed up with your bullshit? On the edge of divorce? Tired and obviously unsatisfied?"

[@crawdaddy2004]

1:31 90 seconds in, and I’m already furious at the men in that office.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

At my last job, we had a small shared kitchen. People were pretty good about cleaning up after themselves. The one thing that puzzled me was the coffee maker, it was the kind that used "pods" of coffee. Someone had left a pod in the coffee maker, and on my first day, I noticed that the pod had mold on it. I didn't touch it, and it was STILL THERE when I left that job nine months later. :(

[@reshawshid]

If you're too busy to wash your dishes, put some soap on them and then use the spray nozzle to fill up the dish with water. Then come back to it whenever you're free and the food waste will practically clean itself off as soon as you rinse it. There's really no excuse.

[@joeschmo622]

The poo story is funny. I was guilty of something much milder. In the shared hallway we had light fixtures that had 2 fluorescent tubes each, a downward-curved reflector, but an upward-curved diffuser that only covered the tubes. You could crumple up a small piece of paper into a ball, fling it upward, and if you aimed just right, it'd hit the diffuser, bounce sideways, and get trapped in the diffuser (right alongside the hundreds of bug-corpses that were never cleaned out). I just started tossing 'em up there to draw attention to the bug-graveyard that was in each fixture. Then I noticed that there were more than just my "contributions". One of my cow-orkers was doing so, too, and we "bonded" over the activity. One of the businesses we shared the hallway with, had "parking tickets", orange-backed sales flyers they'd keep in a dispenser next to their door, but occasionally "ticket" all the cars in the lot with (so the design/color was absolutely intentional). So we started using those flyers as ammo. Those diffusers had so much crap in them that even random cow-orkers were commenting, but both of us kept our traps shut. People were guessing one/both of us were probably the perps, but we always denied it. The diffusers were emptied eventually, but more bugs came there to die, and the cycle just repeated. So we took office-candy and started tossing the wrappers up there, as well as pens, plastic forks, pennies, tie-wraps, the more outrageous the silhouette, the funnier af it became. At one point, official emails went out, warning that consequences could be severe if the perps were caught, and one guy made it his mission to put the blame on me. Funny thing was, he left shortly after for greener pastures. Once he did, both of us stopped, cold-turkey. That did *not* go unnoticed, so both of us were, _"See? He was the loudest about trying to blame me or Jim, and _*_HE_*_ was the one doing it all along!"._ Also "pointed out" to people that it only started after he started working here, which wasn't true, but no one paid attention to the actual timeline, so that stuck, too. Word spread *really* fast that Loudmouth was in fact the one who was doing it all along, and it figured he was trying to point the blame at other people (mostly me), so both of us were pretty much in the clear, 'though months later, one of my other cow-orkers who suspected me all along asked me, "It really was you, wasn't it?", but I just shrugged and played dumb. Word *would* spread, so nope, I'm gonna take that secret to the grave.

[@katphish30]

I'm not even through the description of the first story, and I'm absolutely enraged. "Nagging?" DIAF

[@PikalaxALT]

When OP in the first post said that HR has retaliated against employees who reported SH, my knee-jerk reaction was "just throw the whole company away". That place sounds absolutely toxic.

[@damien678]

Tim is so cute for completely ignoring the context of the situation to be able to get a dig at a woman for 'bEiNg SeXiSt'

[@SuperOdyss]

The story of Aaron reminded me of many times where we would go out with colleagues on a business dinner and one guy would buy a $150 bottle of wine that only half the colleagues drank, but then they wanted the cost divvied up on all our expense accounts, which blew our per diem budget. Quickly you learned not to eat with those colleagues.

[@yarningchick]

For the men at the office: keep track of the guilty parties, take their dishes back to their work stations and leave them. When they complain, tell them the free ride's over. If they bring them back to the sink, take them back to the work station. If they throw them away, get them on the hook for it. Document, document, document! Edit after listening to update: This was even better than my suggestion! Literally letting the men hang themselves while making the problem more obvious and getting out of that toxic environment! Definitely a happy update!

[@kristybrown4146]

For the kast 2 years there is one stall in the women's bathroom that always has boogers wiped on the walls, especially around the toilet paper holder. We have posted signs from "keeping the space clean" to "put your boogers in the trash or toilet, NOT on the wall" but they keep appearing.

[@franciebelcher4594]

I don't understand the whole splitting-the-bill-equally thing. My friends and I have never done that. Every person. Has always paid their OWN bill. NTA

[@Starvingmetheartist]

Currently very sick, and loving to get to put on your videos and lie back and just take care of myself! Thank you for doing what you're doing, Mark!

[@catT5236]

Story 1: this reminds me of a story my Mum used to tell about when she would visit my father at university, there was one of his flatmates who kept leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen & would use up all his own & then dirty other people's because he didn't have any clean forcing them to clean their own dishes after he used them. Often the gfs (it was all men in the flat) would be the ones ending up cleaning after this pillock. My Mum flat out refused. One day they guys had reached their limit so they took all the dishes he'd dirtied & put them on his bed whilst he was out so when he came back late he literally couldn't sleep until he'd done the dishes. Apparently he was really angry about it but was just met with "well how do you think everyone else feels?" I told my Mum about this story before I came here to comment, she immediately linked it to that memory too & said the following "the women should just dump it on the men's desks" which was exactly what I was thinking during this story.

[@markedwards3647]

When someone continues to leave dirty dishes in the sink, one tactic that usually works is to fill the dish with soiled water and throw the dish in the face of the perp.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: Stop using the dishes. People who do not had stocked dishes at work bring food in containers. You can store throwaway plates/bowls/cutlery in your desk. Stop using the dishes. Stop washing the dishes. I wouldn't use the water either. Bring your own water to drink, make tea, or whatever. I loathe washing dishes. There is no way I'd wash dishes at work.

[@EmoPurpleTurtle17]

I had a similar thing at my last workplace where the cleaner got sick of people making a mess in the toilet but don't think it was as bad as poop on the walls

[@nadirimyers6643]

I would have thrown everything that’s not supposed to be there AWAY!

[@ynmonroe]

Last story: You have to want help to get help. She clearly doesn't. This is just selfish. I mean, she can see the same lack of food resources he can; she's home all day so obviously she would know. To knowingly eat his freaking food, making him starve...he is better than me. I would buy a paper towel and put in that house after that.

[@lilylou4693]

Thank you for accompanying me throughout my boring chores everyday! Love your sweet, deep voice. Very soothing. Take care 🖤

[@gaara8217]

I'm a custodian for school n we don't do dishes either. Our job is to keep the sink clean but with dishes we just work around it.

[@addiewatson5372]

I've never worked in an office, but my last job was in a warehouse where there was some heavy lifting. I was 6 months pregnant, had handed in a doctors note with HR and wasn't allowed to lift over 20 LBS (9 KG). I was harassed by the safety team for NOT moving heavy packages. The safety team, who's supposed to make sure no one gets hurt or put into dangerous situations, told me to break my doctor's direct orders since I didn't have an official medical accommodation. I applied for said accommodation and was denied my doctor required pregnancy accommodations because it was 'unreasonable.' (For anyone whos curious what my accommodation entailed: Not lifting, pushing or pulling anything heavier than 20 LBS, to not work for longer than 4 hours at a time without a 30 minute break to sit and rest, and not working longer than 8 hours in a row. Yep, totally unreasonable.)

[@ItzPubby]

any field in a company isnt there to protect you. HR is to protect the company, Trust and Safty is there to keep the the company trusted and safe. Absolutely do not rely on these departments for your wellbeing. The only people on your side, is a Lawyer and worker protection laws. NOT the company. they are there to make money, and if you are int he way you are disposable.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Poo warning, poor warning, final poo warning!! 🎉🎉🎉 Then there was an email 😱 I'm deceased

[@standinthegsp6858]

The break room at the retail store I worked at had a few communal dishes. They’d been there for years probably over 50 or 60. Lol. We had, in small part, the same issues. People would often leave their own dishes (dirty) in the sink for days. Someone--usually one of the same five people-- would give them “a lick & a spit” (as granny used to say) rinse clean with a bit of soap. The fridge was terrible. There would be science experiments growing in some of those lunch bags lol. We finally got to the point that we just chucked the lunch bags including the containers in them . We’d open the lunch bags & if things were ok we’d put a date in it & pop it back in the fridge. No one ever complained about the missing food container (some of them were quite nice) so it must not have been important to them. We’d also throw away any dishes left to mold in the sink after the weekend.

[@pinklemonade8320]

Story 1: I can't imagine leaving dirty dishes in my work's sink. My own sink may be disgusting (😓) but when I'm using dishes at work I thoroughly scrub anything I've used the instant I'm finished with it.

[@boogiebear3095]

My mom instilled in me: clean off excess food and dispose of it, rinse and soak the dishes to cut down cleaning time. Dishes are my least favorite chore, but dang it at least clean them off enough beforehand. Ugh, I’d be pissed too.

[@NemFX]

Story one: Everyone gets their own dishes, with their name on it, but nobody but that person gets access to the dishes. That way it's obvious to all, who hasn't bothered cleaning up after themselves, and can be punished accordingly.

[@bantubrat343]

I had a brief binge eating disorder and I gained so much weight. I was depressed and had just had a mental breakdown so I just was in a fog. Scared to go outside, mental health really needs to be taken more seriously and with better care. Not baby the person but there are so many invisible disabilities when it comes to MH.

[@juliamiller2299]

My solution would be to throw away the dishes and mugs if they are left out. Once they are gone, ask management to stock paper cups and plates instead.

[@megannason3649]

Honestly since I left the hospital and started driving a truck I haven’t had any office drama like that, but that’s probably because im never at the office.

[@SilverMaychan]

Story 1. I had similar problem at my old job. I told my male workers I was not their mom or wife and they are just really lazy.

[@chasefrost1401]

The second story is def an abuser, isolationism straight from the get go

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

I hate the naive attitude of, "no one is asking you to wash the dishes, stop victimising yourselves." The office women shouldn't have to work in a cesspool to prove a point. Old food smells cling and permeate. Mould can be dangerous (any other sufferers of penicillin allergies?). They shouldn't have caught flak for not wanting to work in a biohazard.

[@aprilfox9205]

This happened where I used to work, we started throwing all the dirty dishes away...lol

[@raleighransom4561]

omg the poo story unlocked this memory from worst bank I ever worked at I work in back office fraud and compliance for banks and other similar businesses, which is only relevant bc the buildings where I've worked when I've worked in office were pretty highly secure. there were no clients coming in, the only people allowed in the offices were employees who worked at those locations. one day the head of our department pulls everyone into a conference room and very seriously says that she's received reports that someone has decided to start fingerpainting with their feces on the bathroom wall and that she didn't expect anyone to come forward about it but she did expect it to stop immediately. I don't remember if there were more incidents after that, I think it must have been right before the office was closed due to the pandemic, but God I can't believe I forgot that.

[@elenasimon1270]

I was able to stay out of the office kitchen for 9 years.

[@44naya]

Story 1 : So... for Tim, washing dishes is no big deal? I'd have him in charge of washing the dishes. Since he feels like it's a stroll in the park, he can do them himself. But I'm overall glad OP left that horrible workplace.

[@dandotvid]

People evenly splitting bills has always confused the hell out of me. Like, I'll pay for what I order. Why am I paying for what you order if you order more than me?

[@DameNickum]

Throw the dishes away. If not, put locks on the cupboards.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

You do realize most workplaces you would probably get in deep shit for damaging or vandalizing company property by doing either of those with dishes and silverware provided by the company, right?

[@DameNickum]

@@fallingawayfromthenorm - Yes. I commented prematurely; I had not heard the “provided by the company.” I’m a nurse, and often the mostly male doctors raided our fridge and left the dishes. Since it was our kitchen and breakroom, we asked for a door lock to be installed. We were very happy with the combination key pad that was installed. I guess when your whole ICU staff threatens to stop working, a lock is a small concession. 😊

[@m3l199]

Story 1: their solution worked! I was starting to think they should bring a large plastic tote for dirty dishes. So they could still use the sink.

[@throwawayaccount9150]

Story 1: NTA and these guys will never be actual adults. I’ve had incidents where I would leave home for a couple days for a trip and when I’d come back the sink would be FULL of dirty dishes, some with obvious mold and old milk. And even though I’d be tired from traveling a long way back home, I’d just leave again after seeing that wreckage. What nonsense that people pull this sh*t and can’t be bothered to clean up after themselves

[@RealAnimeBadGuy]

I work in a office where we gotta do our own dishes. Everyone does their share it’s pretty fucked up to leave your gross shit in the sink.

[@rf159a]

Mark, I was in construction for 35 years. On the jobs we had portable toilets. Some of the things the guys would. do in those toilets was absolutely gross. I hated using those things. I'm so glad I'm retired!!

[@LT-hg7fc]

Story 2----I wonder if the girl that brought the boyfriend to the dinner had expressed her frustrations with OP getting their own bill and the boyfriend thought he was saying what he thought everyone was thinking. I think everyone should always pay their own bill. Splitting it with everyone is usually benefiting one person while sticking it to another.

[@skyelinkhyrule5715]

Story 3: Dude, break up with her. I repeat, BREAK UP WITH HER. It's clear that this relationship is not going to last. If my boyfriend/girlfriend ate up my food and try to pull that, "YoU'rE fAt ShAmInG mE!" crap while at the same time being unemployed, he/she would be out the door in seconds.

[@ineedhoez]

Do not pay the bills of anyone that you are not married to. She needed to find employment within the week.

[@joeschmo622]

Different sub which covered the office-dishes, it wasn't then in the replies, but I similarly suggested just bagging up the filthy dishes and leaving them in the corner. Not throwing them out, but certainly taking the biohazard out of the sink. They want dishes, let *them* clean them.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, You need to go to HR immediately, and file a complaint. If the policy is that you clean your own dishes, it is there job to put the boot to the necks of the people who are not doing their dishes. Chances are the first step HR will do is set up a camera in the kitchen to catch the people not doing their dishes, and as soon as the guys see the camera they will start doing the dishes. Story 1 (more info): If what you say is true about your companies HR you need to file a lawsuit against the company for fostering a hostile work environment.

[@skyelindsey687]

“Pay your fair share.” I would just say “I am. And by that same logic you should pay for every dish and drink you ordered which would be $X amount of the bill.”

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Tim doesn't have room to be offended by the comment. He's not washing the dishes and being a tool.

[@dimsufferer9951]

And to be honest what the fuck was OP’s “friend” talking about it being dramatic and passive aggressive? Unless he’s talking about the men, he’s being a sexist asshole too

[@rahulmodi8706]

He was one of the few to wash dishes but bad for the booing

[@hilaryc3203]

1st. Story, where did this take place and in what century? Yikes, the men are neanderthals. For awhile my office was a building where small offices were rented out and we paid for reception admin; a shared office if you will. It had psychologists, marketing companies and other businesses, board rooms when we needed them etc and it kept the overhead down. The kitchen had the usual signs on fridge use, loading dishwasher etc and everyone, men and women, abided by the rules. Nothing was left in the sink, because people used the dishwasher. There was garbage bins and recycling. So, what is with people that they still act like toddlers? Also, and I guess it's regional, there are plenty of places and companies in the world, where gender bias is a thing of the past. Actually I would love to go into this company and "clean house", it would be fun to make slackers stand up straighter. lol

[@MsDDutch]

Wash the plates, box them up and put them away in a very well hidden place. Keep your own cup in your bag. Present paper plates and cups. This is an office, not an assisted living facility.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NTA, Tim knows the other male coworkers don’t clean after themselves and calling the anger OP and other women feel sexism and passive aggressiveness is pick man baby behavior! I would let the kitchen rot then be someone’s mommy!

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: historically women’s work has always been used to gaslight women to cover up for men being fucking lazy. It’s not the job of some random female coworker to clean up the dishes for a random male coworker that leaves his filthy dishes in the sink.. it’s really sad how being responsible for your own mess. It’s not the norm for grown adults. If you used the dishes you wash them it’s not that hard to understand. But now they want to be sexist and put it on some random female coworker to wash for them because they’re too lazy. They don’t live with mommy anymore and they don’t need some random female being mommy and cleaning up after their messes. They are big boys that work jobs. They could be big boys and clean up after themselves. STORY 3: *NTA* That’s not OP being fatphobic, that’s GF being greedy and inconsiderate. Eating BF’s sisters birthday cup cakes, the half of OP’s sun when he said he was saving for lunch. She needs to find a new way to deal with stress.

[@alexkerwi3831]

My old office was a lot smaller than the one I work now, but I'll never forget the company wide email about how to use a urinal properly... Diagram included. So I dread to think how the men's loos were looking.

[@cpaul9269]

story 2- what Mark said. word for word.

[@SunnyD74]

I refused to clean the kitchen when I was the only woman in an office. I tried confiscating all dishes that I had to wash, but it got annoying having men begging for coffee mugs all the time. Made management find a cleaning company that would do it when they did their weekly stuff.

[@MGOsketches]

I loved the strategy of OP in Story 1! And the entitlement of those men of getting angry at the women for not washing the men's dishes ewww. Mysogyny at its finest.

[@JeanMarie561]

I flat out stopped using our break room, not even the fridge. Between lunch thieves and slobs, I pack a thermal bag and thermos. When the bitching started I was not involved🤗

[@1tiptip187]

Separate bill thing is why I lost interest in eating out with people. Their started to always be someone who didn't throw in their own share. They lived with their parents and above their means. And I was made fun of for always telling the waiter right away I was on a separate check. Led to one of a number of escalating arguments of "If you keep inviting them then you pay for them."