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[@jeannettanicole11]

a wig is a simple solution especially since it seems like she would pay for it

[@Hiyoyoful]

I was thinking the wig solution was a reasonable compromise

[@HowlBunny]

I know! I feel like everyone is forgetting that she offered her a very high quality solution that isn’t permanent. It’s 1 day. If you really love someone you can set aside your selfishness for 1 day for them.

[@xfairfaeriex]

@@HowlBunny That's literally what I thought too! I think it was too far when the bride originally asked to have it dyed back to normal (I personally would have just led with the wig suggestion that she made later) but I don't think it's unreasonable to ask to wear a wig for one day to make your friend happy on their wedding day. If a friend of mine asked me to wear a teal wig to match a teal wedding theme for their wedding, I would totally do that for them because it's barely an inconvenience and it would reduce the already significant stress related to weddings and wedding planning. As their friend you should _want_ to make them happy if it's not too much too ask which wearing a wig definitely isn't.

[@Bookworm51485]

​@@HowlBunny Yes! Someone people just read over this detail and just labeled her the a-hole.

[@mzunderstood9585]

Amen

[@TheEquineMelody]

Make her hair the "something blue"!

[@zilvmay]

I have been dyeing my hair bright colors for the last 20 years or so, most people I talk to now a days have never seen me with 'normal' hair. I think thats a missing detail in the first post; how often did she dye her hair weird colors, or was this the first time ever? I had been asked to be a brides maid a while back (the wedding got called off) but the bride had asked me to change my hair. I said id be willing to change the hue, but that i would not wear a natual color. I had bright hair for the majority of knowing her, and me being blue was normal and would not have been a suprise. I also do not think one person having bright hair is capable of 'outshining' the bride one her wedding day. Though she did say that I would be stealing her spotlight. I honestly feel that if we had actually been friends then my hair is part of me and she wouldn't have wanted to change that about me, or shouldn't have asked me to be in the bridal party.

[@PedroBenolielBonito]

That second story...what IS it about weddings that makes women lose all sense of other people even existing as sentient beings, let alone having needs and priorities other than to follow their directions hand and foot?

[@ohshesglamorous]

Man, I feel so badly for the cousin in the second story, how cruel

[@chrisk4053]

Some brides to be really overstate their importance. Like in this case. Of course you want people to celebrate your engagement but you can’t be so nearsighted to think that you are the center of the universe It breaks my heart to think of the poor widow getting a time management speech from a bride to be. Just so wrong.

[@carolynb.9469]

My best friend had a cousin in her wedding who had blue hair. Her response was basically....oh well, her hair is gonna be blue lol.

[@danabuck6461]

I just found your channel. I got married in 1987 and am still married after 36 years. I LOVE your silent laughter! My outdoor wedding in a park gazebo cost maybe $2000, including dress! The End result of a wedding should be joining your life with another, not trying to outshine every other bride on Earth. We had just the best time and the entire wedding party went dancing after. Love your channel.

[@samanthaandal6580]

willing to bet that the "change the theme to fit my hair color" comment in the first story was just a snarky remark & not serious bc the bride has been badgering her for so long. at the end of the day, you don't get to have a say on what other people do with their bodies, no matter what you're willing to offer in return.

[@MarcandAngelaWilkinson]

The photographer can change her hair color in the pictures!

[@itssteph263]

For the hair color post, honestly, I vote everyone sucks here (ESH). No one is willing to compromise tbh, and honestly, at this point they should just distance themselves as friends. Maybe the poster feels extra strongly about this because of the money she has spent on the friend just to have her be in the wedding. The friend however isn’t part of the decor, it was still a little sucky of her to have dyed her hair an electric blue so soon near the wedding, instead of after it.

[@iwasalllikeomg]

The wedding is in October and they’ve already been arguing about it for months, so that means she dyed her hair at least 9 months before the wedding. You can’t control people’s lives a year before your wedding.

[@victoriam9242]

It’s not “sucky” to do what you want with *your* hair.

[@SunnyBurnsAll]

Honestly, I do think that her best friend is a bit of an Ahole, she was probably part of the planning and knew what she was doing when she dyed her hair. However, I do think that the bride paying for everything for her friend does seem like a way to control her friendship. Because, it's kind of strange that this woman accepted all kinds of payments to accomodate her including a vacation. This is very weird. About the mechanic wearing white, weren't the men wearing white dress shirts at a wedding? Isn't it normal dress wear, did the bride have those dudes thrown out?

[@dianebrooks1859]

Depends on when the wedding is. Two years away? No, definitely not putting my life on hold for you. 2 months? I could be persuaded with an extra slice of cake.

[@raeahthewriter8082]

Love your hair 😍

[@marieldavidson4040]

Im just going to put this out there: get a wig.

[@meganrenfro1704]

I don't know why she skipped that part, but the bride offered to split the cost of a lace front wig

[@zacharyhagen2307]

Photoshop or a wig is an easy fix for electric blue lady.

[@KimPinelli]

Honestly, it‘s not like she changes her hair color „right before“ the wedding. They‘ve been arguing for 3months and the wedding still isn’t here. So she is supposed to put her life on hold for 3+ months because the bride is so superficial that someone’s hair color ruins her wedding theme?

[@draconicfeline6177]

ITS LITERALLY A LANYARD. AND A UNIFORM. i think there's a reason why OP doesn't want to be in this stupid wedding.

[@patriciakelley8008]

Literal human beings are not your wedding accessories and should not be treated as such.

[@sl33pw17h4ng3l5]

I had turquoise hair that I freshened up just before my cousin's wedding. I also brought a long blonde wig so it wouldn't look ridiculous. As for the people calling the first the AH, she is paying for _everything_ for this friend, including the offered wig. The least the (supposed) BFF could do is use the wood. Jfc. Not the AH.

[@backfromwhenitwas1964]

I feel like the girl with the blue hair did it on purpose. She knew she was going to be in a wedding. She should have waited until after the wedding. Sounds like she was being a bit of a "B". Maybe jealousy. Just my thoughts

[@SaVanityVan]

Sounds to me like friend dyed her hair bright blue on purpose to spite the bride. Maybe jealous she's getting married? As MOH she'll have a prominent role in the wedding and in most pictures, its common knowledge you don't do anything crazy to your appearance in the lead up to a wedding. Asking someone to alter their appearance for a wedding is too much, but responding with "alter your entire warm, muted-tone wedding scheme to match my electric blue hair" is worse and not something someone acting in good faith would say. A nice wig is a good solution and bride offered to pay for it so it would cost her nothing to just wear it for a day, especially for her _best friend_ *on her wedding day*. She either wants to mess up the wedding or is just desperate for the spotlight at all times. This not being her usual behavior suggests the former.

[@notinvogue4287]

All the trouble this bride is doing to have her friend there, dying her hair blue is an act of betrayal in my view. That would be a stab in the back in my eyes. Extremely inconsiderate. Completely uninvited. I’d just cut my loss and continue on with MY wedding.

[@natj-vs]

With the first one, she can photoshop the hair in photos after, but the friend is being annoying and selfish, and honestly, who of marrying-age groups thinks blue hair is a good idea?

[@hrobinson9701]

My 30 year old daughter tried blue hair earlier this year, just for fun. She discovered that upkeep is FAR more difficult than the cherry red that she usually goes with. Bridesmaid is really doubling down on this hair color choice if she is maintaining electric blue hair.

[@ChelseaAnderson]

I was a bridesmaid for a college friend's wedding and my hair was very very short. Her wedding was less than a year from when she got engaged. Her theme was Beauty and The Beast and she found this ridiculous hairstyle that required long hair. She asked me if I could grow my hair that long in less than 6 months. (Note: the hairstyle she found would've taken my hair 2 years to grow back). I told her no and then she got mad at me for not just getting extensions (which are expensive). I was already traveling to this wedding and doing her makeup, I wasn't doing more than I had to. Eventually, she let it go and I got to keep my short hair. Long story short: she was just happy to have me at the wedding

[@readerunite]

Extensions are freakishly expensive. Like hundreds of dollars. Maybe if the bride paid for it...

[@ChelseaAnderson]

@@readerunite She wasn't going to. Her wedding was very much budget conscious

[@readerunite]

@@ChelseaAnderson Okay, so my daughter just told me that she taught her boyfriend how to put them in and it was easy. It is hard to do it to yourself. She draws the line there. Eyelashes, hair treatments, etc. all by professionals. Either way, if the bride wants that look, she ought to pay for it.

[@Rachelhappyface]

I saw the hen party/visiting dead husband one on Reddit. OP originally didn’t say who her cousin was visiting (I assume to try and make it look way less important) and basically every extra bit of info OP ended up giving in the comments made themselves look worse and worse. I feel so sorry for her poor cousin.

[@meganchambers8108]

Amazing that she even made it back by 6 pm after such a harrowing visit, and I'm sure all the wedding-ness was triggering! She still made it. If she had bailed on dinner because she was so thrown by the visit that she needed to just go back home, that would have been perfectly valid, but she didn't even do that! And referring to it as "just going to do her own thing" is so disrespectful.

[@lizRomrell]

Speaking as a young widow, visiting my late husband can be trigger. You never know what emotions will hit you. And speaking as a widow what was part of a wedding party! WooW! That was one of the hardest things I had to do after my husband died.

[@meganchambers8108]

@@lizRomrell I'm sorry for your loss :( the phrase "young widow" really threw me - you don't expect this kind of thing when you are young and it has to be a particular kind of pain. I hope you have support and happiness in your life still

[@Rachelhappyface]

@@lizRomrell I’m so sorry for your loss :( I honestly can’t imagine having someone in my life I care about enough to have in my wedding party but then not understanding why they’d need some time due to the circumstances. I hope you’ve got better people around you than OP’s poor cousin x

[@srkh8966]

And OP was trashed on Reddit, rightfully so

[@victoriaabbey3525]

My sister in law had pink hair without being asked she changed her hair to a neutral color because it would clash with our colors. I didn't care but it was a very nice gesture

[@savannahhaughton22]

1. EEEEE- I mean she did offer her to buy her a wig. She tried to compromise, like the friend is adamant about having the blue hair at the wedding... but why? That in my opinion makes her NTA. (I personally don't care, funnily enough, when I talk to my bridesmaids about their choices, I say "I don't care if you dye your hair blue, I just want you stand next to me. But hey, different strokes for different folks). 2. Absolutely TA. 3. NTA

[@shayna8324]

Someone brought up a good point in the Reddit thread for the first one. Someone wondered how long before getting her hair done this friend knew that the color scheme was peach. And honestly, this does matter to me because if you're someone who's committed to being a bridesmaid and you know that your friends color scheme is peach, getting your hair dyed blue is honestly kind of messed up. But only if it was intentional, which we don't know. For all, we know the color scheme came later or the friend wasn't thinking about the wedding when she got her hair dyed.. I definitely don't think asking your friend to wear a wig when their hair color is not a natural color is asking too much though... As long as you pay for it

[@airforcemom2235]

I attended a wedding where a bridesmaid HAD to get a tattoo, on her upper arm, right before the wedding (the dresses were sleeveless). She was asked by the bride to wait until after the wedding, but she just couldn't wait. It just came off as a cry for attention as there was absolutely no reason she couldn't wait until after the wedding to get the tattoo. Sad.

[@kelseypryor1539]

My MOH got a sleeve after I got engaged. She is voluntarily covering it up for the wedding. She's also voluntarily not dying her hair blue (which she has had multiple times in the past). I feel like it is nice and how a best friend would handle things.

[@viiranen]

Tattoos can be super expensive and some artists are booked for a long time

[@CadaverQT]

Can't you just have the photographer Photoshop it out? It's 2024

[@Tamara-ju3lh]

I think people would have a lot happier and smoother weddings if they laid off the social media. My sister almost ruined her own wedding because she kept trying to compete with people who has a bigger budget than her.

[@Tamara-ju3lh]

This "IG/Pintrest/FB" wedding stuff is insane. Makes people lose their minds.

[@shortangel333]

Literally all she had to do is ruin their marriages and then the weddings would be pointless. This smarter not harder.

[@btsarmyforever3816]

The third story is like wth?? He wasn't in a white wedding suit or something. Plus he was LEAVING the wedding this is ridiculous.

[@Janjones7735]

Wait the third story about the white at the wedding…does this mean none of the men wore a white shirt? Because that’s way more white than the lanyard or patch.

[@HowToBeAlone]

Why not just photoshop her hair to the color you want?

[@Bookworm51485]

On the first post, you just completely disregarded her note that she offered to buy her a wig. I agree, re-dyeing her hair is too much of a request. Dying hair in the first place, especially if it had to be bleached, is too much. It would likely damage what is there and I could understand not wanting to do that. But to refuse to wear a wig as well...? That's where the best friend becomes the A-hole in that situation. To not only dye your hair such a glaring color right before a wedding with very sedate colors and then to refuse a wig being offered to you? It feels like you're trying to attract attention and then it becomes a question of why...

[@angelinacave6576]

I have a bridesmaid who likes to color/change her hair. In December she shaved her head (wedding is in August) was it my style? No. But not my head, so I told her she can do whatever as long as she is happy.

[@bluexwings]

Some people are SO intense about the "no white" thing. No light colors that might *possibly* photograph as white. Nothing patterned with a white base. No white jackets or sweaters. It's ridiculous! We shouldn't be buying new clothes for each wedding, or losing our minds over a floral sundress that literally no one would mistake for a wedding dress.

[@brandilee520]

Was recently in a wedding and my purple hair definitely clashed with the color of the dress the bride requested I wear. But I've been dying my hair purple for nearly two years now so it was something that already was before she even got engaged so she didn't have any problems with it.

[@timarahmcintosh3592]

Rubbed the wrong way when that comment said she should’ve waited. I saved for two years before I was able to get that electric blue colour. It’s a big decision and I didn’t make it lightly. And October is five months from now so who knows how long from the post… like that’s a long time to just wait until after the wedding… Wig seems like the most middle ground approach

[@sim771]

The first bride and her best friend sound like they have a really unhealthy friendship… the “all I could afford” and “just change your wedding theme to match my hair” are the two statements that stand out. The bride is spending thousands and thousands of dollars, potentially just on providing a nice experience for her friend and her friend is being petty and user. Should the bride be able to have a say on her friend’s hair, not really.. but I understand her frustration where she is spending all this money on someone who isn’t understanding her (not that she has to change, but isnt listening). Her friend is taking the money - the travel, the above and beyond expenses for during and after, the vacation time - from the bride.. meanwhile, the friend is spending tons of money (that she could’ve used on the expenses to maintain her hair, but taking the money for the wedding… she is just being inconsiderate. Idk the answer but I think distance is needed between the two of them

[@lisajanco569]

If the friend dyed her hair after being asked to be in the wedding, then this was an intentional dig to mess with her friend's wedding. She sounds like a nightmare of a bridesmaid.

[@Bookworm51485]

I agree

[@sydney6548]

@@lisajanco569 this! all of this required planning and awareness of a special day + booking hotels etc, so if the bridesmaid KNEW that all of this was upcoming, she could have simply waited until after to live out her hair dreams. it seems, at the very least, crazily inconsiderate, to do it with an upcoming event lol

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

Uep the OP is definitely NTA. Hopefully enough people read about how much OP is spending on the leech and convinced her to drop her from the wedding.

[@grayonthewater]

Did you ever see that one about the ex wife who showed up in a red wedding dress?😂 and there’s a post from her on AITA and one from the brides perspective

[@dawggirl]

I just got married on Friday. Our best man's wife wore a red dress that she looked spectacular in. She is super sweet, always supportive, and lovely to be around. I never thought anything bad about it.

[@Hiyoyoful]

@@dawggirl congratulations!!!

[@dawggirl]

@@Hiyoyoful Thank you!

[@hannasophia18]

@@dawggirl Probably not on purpose in this case, but a friend told me the other day that -apparently- wearing bright red means you've slept with the groom. My friend was shocked to learn this cause she has worn red to a couple weddings unknowingly (although it was more bordeaux) so yeah, I guess that is where it comes from. But honestly there are so many strange wedding customs.

[@pistachoo.]

Oh no way? I read/heard about the one from the bride's perspective, but not from the ex wife's! LOL

[@carsenyoung1746]

The first story made me laugh because my Best Man (who is a woman) has bright blue hair. I have to be fair and note that it doesn't clash with my wedding theme (my wedding is a costume party and, as a fellow costume lover, her hair is absolutely fitting for her costume). With that said, I would NEVER even think about asking somebody to make a change to *their body* to fit some desired aesthetic I had in mind. Most important thing for me with my wedding is being surrounded by people that I love, and I don't love anybody for their hair color. Also, I'd love to see you do a video on navigating some of the etiquette questions involved in same-sex weddings. While all weddings should be whatever the couple wants, sometimes it's nice to have some guidelines and same-sex couples can't fall back on gendered traditions.

[@carsenyoung1746]

I found your LGBT video. Thanks! kzbin.info/www/bejne/g5rSqauqjJVsaZI

[@boobookittifukk]

Lol I've been dyeing my hair bright colours for years. I asked my brother and FSIL what their theme colour was and was told pink so I told them I'd colour my hair pink for their wedding. Not part of the wedding party, and neither had a problem with it. Hell, despite saying that was her theme colour, I didn't see much pink in the decor. Ended up with deep pink hair with a dusky pink dress. Loved how I looked. Got no complaints.

[@EmmaCreatively]

Hell yeah, I love this!

[@xDarkTrinityx]

Similar story, but I was a bridesmaid. I think my hair was purple at the time and bride's colors were light teal(aqua?) & Bright red so I dyed my hair a very dark blue (near black) and then faded to the light teal for my ends. Bride was surprised and asked if I did it for the wedding (I did, but I change colors so much it wasn't a big deal) she told me she loved it, but I really didn't have to do that. If someone had told me I needed to dye my hair, I too think they were a bridezilla.

[@orionspero560]

I think the comments of the wedding theme were the friend mocking of the idea of changing the hair color as opposed to a serious suggestion.

[@16poetisa]

I got that vibe too. Maybe OP doesn't know much about dyeing your hair bright colors, but if they've been arguing about it for MONTHS then it would have faded a lot already. By the actual wedding, it will probably be much less eye-catching.

[@nvsforza]

I had purple hair before my sister got engaged and she told me there was no way I was gonna have purple hair for her wedding. I dyed it black, even though I spent a lot of money on it, and damaged my hair bleaching it because I have dark brown hair. I told her several times after the wedding that my biggest regret was dying it because of how much I loved my purple hair, and she said that if I would have insisted on keeping it, she would have let me keep it…for anyone wondering, I did insist. A lot…lol.

[@shortangel333]

See if someone has a history of dying their hair fun colours then the person inviting them to the wedding should be prepared for fun coloured hair or pay for a wig.

[@user-zo2yl6bg6k]

I’m confused… u dyed it black. Why did u need to bleach it? Or u had already bleached it to get the purple color and r trying to get sympathy points. U don’t bleach hair to then go black

[@jessrose4301]

I have purple hair and I'm going to be a bridesmaid next year. I've already told the bride I will dye my hair back brown for her day. She told me I absolutely did not have to do that. I'm still going to because she has a fairly conservative family and I don't want to be "that" bridesmaid they all talk about. Social anxiety more than etiquette lol. But I would probably have been pissed if the bride INSISTED I dye my hair. It's my body, my choice.

[@meganchambers8108]

PEOPLE AREN'T PROPS!!!

[@sarahtomlin6310]

2023 bride here. my guests keep asking me what they should wear and it’s been baffling to me because i’m not having a bridal party so i figured everyone would just know that they can wear what they want (within reason of course, still typical wedding attire) but after hearing these i guess i see why people are cautious lol

[@flamesgirlable9903]

2025 bride and also no wedding party but small guest list under 50 and I'm planning on giving preferred colours to match the theme but absolutely domt care if people dont match it lol just thought it would be cool and 1/4 will already be wearing the theme colours like siblings and parents and I have 6 colours including black lol so I dont think it will be a big issue but if it is I would rather them be there and happy

[@mercy5004]

2024 bride, I'm going the "hey these are the recommended colors, but, you know, whatever" route. I mean, even if someone shows up in white I'm not going to be that miffed. I'm just going to have a good chuckle about it, and get jiggy to cringy anime songs with my husband and friends. I really don't care about controlling people and what they look like on a one day event I'm hosting to celebrate the joining of our families and demonstration of our love for one another. Just bring good vibes and good company.

[@CarolinaGonzalez-qb8ey]

Not a bride, but I recently went to a wedding and the grooms half was all wearing jeans and T-shirts while the brides half was in semi formal/formal attire

[@alyzu4755]

I got married 22 years ago and, honestly, i hardly ever look at our wedding photos anymore. Still married, still happy, but we just dont look at them very often. Just a POV from an older lady. ☺️

[@Rae777]

Aww congratulations on your long lasting marriage! I don't get the obsession with perfectly coifed wedding photos. I would just want to see people happy and having fun.

[@MyWeddingLessons]

One word: Photoshop!

[@alexnoelle5423]

This past December, I dyed my hair at home mostly black with bright red money pieces in the front. I wanted to do something semi-drastic partly to help cope with seasonal depression and being sick/stuck at home a lot this winter. Even with those valid reasons for doing it, I still planned on dyeing it all black so that it wouldn’t clash with my sister’s upcoming wedding colors. The wedding was planned for the end of April, so I knew I’d only be able to keep the red streaks for about 4 months. I knew the wedding colors were sage and blush and as the maid of honor, I’d be wearing a sage dress myself. My hair would’ve clashed terribly and I just didn’t want that… for the wedding itself and even just how I’d look individually with a washed out green colored outfit, light pink flowers, and bright red streaks in my hair. Ew, lol. It wasn’t just about pleasing my sister, I personally wanted my sister’s wedding to look nice myself BECAUSE I care about her and her husband. It’s not that hard to plan ahead with a big event like this if you know about it in advance. If it was a last-minute wedding, it would be different. Yes, it’s trivial overall but c’mon… you know you have your entire life to do whatever the heck you want with your hair but the bride only gets wedding photos ONCE. The wig solution would’ve been perfect. That’s not to say that brides can dictate your body to the extent of asking you to do something more permanent like cutting off a lot of hair, bleaching it when you don’t want to, adding or removing a piercing, or even covering up tattoos… those things are all insensitive and entitled. But temporary dye, a wig, or just waiting until after the wedding for the blue color are all simple and don’t do any damage in the long-run.

[@rachhhnicole]

thank you for this! that’s exactly how i feel. also as a bridesmaid i want to do everything i can to make my friends wedding how she wants it to be! i would not want to draw attention to myself like that

[@TiBunCosplay]

1st one is ESH. the friend doesn't have the right to ask for the colors of the wedding to be changed, and she could have chosen a better color to match the wedding, but the bride can't dictate other people's bodies. My wedding colors were burnt orange and marigold yellow which I thought was perfect for our rustic Fall barn wedding. one of my bridesmaids had pink hair which, with her marigold dress, made her have the summer vibe of strawberry lemonade. Did it ruin the aesthetic of my wedding? Not at all! Her hair is part of who she is. She's one of my best friends, and in the pictures it shows my best friend being by my side. I think that if someone is important enough to the bride to be asked to be in the wedding party, they are important enough to let them be in said wedding party as themselves and not a dulled down version of themselves.

[@DramaGeek1225]

Honestly, the idea of changing into your work uniform at a wedding reception is so bizarre to me. Why wouldn't you just change in the restroom at work? Or like Jamie said, at least say goodbye and then change. That wasn't very well thought out, but the bride getting mad about a white lanyard is ridiculous.

[@ChaunceyS]

The subreddit makes you put ages in the story, so everyone knows how old people are to get a better idea of what’s going on.

[@EmmaCreatively]

Am I the only bride (who works in theatre) who is literally telling my guests to come as colorful and sparkly as possible? We're getting married NYE and our officiant will be in drag! 😁

[@squeakyb.7709]

Honey, you do you!!! Sounds like a very unique and fun wedding to me! If I knew you I would be honored to be invited 🤣 congratulations!!! 🍾🎉

[@EmmaCreatively]

@@squeakyb.7709 😂😂Thanks so much friend!! Hey, where are you? Maybe we're close enough!! 🎉💃✨

[@Me-wk3ix]

That sounds awesome!

[@jupiterstone827]

I think blue hair is fantastic! I'm don't know what the problem is.

[@TEWMUCH]

Blasphemous

[@ashenwalls3558]

There was so much hair drama in a wedding I was in, it honestly made me so anxious to be there and it wasn't even about me.

[@Darien_Rue]

As someone who dyes their hair often, I'd be beyond hurt if someone asked me to change it for them, seeing as how dyed hair is a very personal form of self expression. For ex: I often dye my hair to mark important changes in my life and I know others who do the same

[@samanthagreen576]

Asking her to change her hair is a bit unreasonable in the first place, but given how much it clashes and that the bride offered to pay for a high quality wig and that the friend keeps suggesting the entire wedding be redone to match her hair (once is a joke, saying it repeatedly instead of considering the offered compromise is not) I think the bride is not the a-hole here. A little bit everybody stinks since she shouldn't really have made a fuss over a fairly minor thing in the first place but the friend is being way more unreasonable by not even acknowledging the issue and refusing to consider compromises even after the bride has done so much for her (which of course those things were the bride's choice to do and are no strings gifts but she's literally gifting the friend a nice romantic weekend and the friend isn't willing to wear a wig for a day for her? That just doesn't sit right with me.)

[@Bookworm51485]

^This. All of this.

[@spokenwordpoetries]

Exactly! I don't like the fact that the friend isn't willing to compromise here since the bride is clearly going out of her way to be generous toward her friend. It feels imbalanced to me.

[@xDarkTrinityx]

1. She is her "best" friend. She knows she dyes her hair, she just spent a ton of money to dye it. Who cares if her hair "doesn't match the aesthetic"? She's not there for decoration, she's there to be her friend on her wedding day. It's the same vibe as brides excluding overweight friends from their wedding party. 2. Even buying a high quality wig is still likely going to look silly since she has a full head of hair, it's going to look fake. 3. From the sounds of the friend, she is making the suggestion to the bride to change the wedding colors to help exaggerate how ridiculous of a request is of making her change her hair color for literally just one day and not a literal suggestion. 4. She just dyed it. It is not good for your hair to keep redyeing/ bleaching.... and she PAID for it. Asking someone to change their appearance just feels flat out vain, like you want them their to look pretty for pictures but can't accept them for who they are as your friend.

[@aimeewynhausen9924]

My brother was going to bleach his hair white for a Halloween costume (the wedding was mid-October). I asked if he could wait until after the wedding. He said no and I said ok. That was the end of it. You can ask - but ultimately, it's up to the person. He's still my brother - the groom is no longer my husband.

[@EmUhlee-]

These videos are truly the best. I love your wedding content as I am an October 2023 bride but I also love AITA or just Reddit stories so perfect blend of both

[@bluexwings]

So... The bridesmaid is supposed to put her life on hold until the wedding? The bride should appreciate that she loves and supports her, regardless of her appearance! It's just hair!

[@ezrea9313]

They put their ages in the posts because the subreddit rules require it

[@lissyplusrats8287]

So I have turquoise hair and have done for a pretty long time. For my brothers wedding I was a bridesmaid, I asked my now SIL weeks in advance if she would prefer me to dye it natural before the wedding. I didn't want to but it was a respect thing. She said no because they wanted me as me at their wedding but it was a nice conversation to have and not hard to be considerate!

[@laimanarbute4188]

Are you all serious..what does it matter what color is the bridesmaid's hair color. OMG. You can coordinate the dresses, but not the hair colors.

[@LilyLuluko]

I was MOH in a friend’s wedding in 2011, I’ve had purple hair (still do!) the entire time she knew me. She told me one of her aunts made comments about how it’d look in photos and I told her point blank “If you asked me to dye my hair you can find a new MOH.” She never mentioned it again.

[@agkittyhook2257]

Re: Blu haired bridesmaid: this story is being reviewed in early June, the wedding will not take place for 4+ months. By that time the hair color will have either washed out (if temp dye) or grown out significantly (if permanent) by the time of the wedding and will need to be re-done. Why can't she try a different color (on the bride's dime) that will match and then do the blue again when it's time for another refresh (on her own dime). Also, NTA if the bride only asked, but YTA if she demanded it. Simply asking something does not automatically make someone as a-hole, it's how the asking and any follow-ups are done is what makes someone an a-hole.

[@alohilanizapata53]

😂 that first one... Tell me you're a loco bridezilla w/o telling me you're one. Who the freaking cares what people's hair looks like?! You gonna throw guests out too if their hair don't look the way you want? I mean, the way the friend responded wasn't the best either (the way Jamie said it at first I thought the friend was joking around, but I guess not, then again who really knows as it's the bride who made the the post)...

[@thatbasementcat]

FFS, am I the only one who realized that when the BFF told the bride to change her color scheme to match her hair, she was obviously being sarcastic to show the bride how ridiculous she was being? My mom dyes her hair bright purple and has a sideshave. If I got married, I wouldn't try to police her body just to fit some dumb "aesthetic". Plus, sometimes you have to wait quite a while for a hair appointment. The bride is obviously being controlling and trying to impose her will onto her friend's body just for some dumb "theme" for her Instagram wedding. If I was bringing my mom as my "date" to a friend's wedding and the bride tried to make my mom dye her hair because her bright purple sideshave "didn't fit the theme", I'd have to seriously reconsider our friendship. The bride is a mega AH.

[@mdrwallace]

In the third story, I guess the bride went up to all of the old people at the wedding & yelled at them for having white hair? After all, that's probably a lot more "white" material than a lanyard or a patch on a uniform. Obviously, someone should have planned little parlor games to keep that childish bride busy, so she wouldn't have noticed a lanyard that had some white on it for the thirty seconds or so OP even had it on in her eyesight. Personally, I think it was pretty classy for OP to 1) return a favor to a friend by going into work early for him; 2) speak to the groom and thank him for the invite & apologize for leaving early (in this situation, most people would have just left without even doing that); 3) even be concerned about this silly girl. She needs a hobby.

[@SparklesNJazz]

i couldn’t care LESS if one of my bridesmaids had the wackiest hair. why? because she gets to be her. and that’s all i want in my photos: me being me, and my friends being them.

[@apollo21lmp]

did i miss something on the last story? why did OP have his uniform at the wedding? i've never known anyone, other than maybe a firefighter or a cop on the SWAT team to go to a wedding or other formal function and take their work clothes with them, "just in case." sounds like he was planning to skip out on the wedding all along.

[@viiranen]

The first bride complaining about a hair 10 months before the wedding. Of course the friend is sassy at the bride! Does she think the friend wont have a haircut for the next 10 months let alone before a wedding???

[@Rae777]

I don't get it. I really don't get this whole obsession with photos on the wedding day being this gross exaggeration of perfectly synchronized people. All of the photos I love the most of the people I love are of them having fun and being themselves. I wouldn't expect someone to change their looks or self-expression for me, unless it was obscene or something along those lines. I also don't get this obsession with people not wearing a single sliver of white on the wedding day. I think white accents and accessories actually look really nice a lot of the time. If you're worried about a white lanyard taking away attention from you, as the bride, walking down the aisle, the center of the event, then I don't understand. Unless someone else is wearing a wedding dress and walking down the aisle too, idk what can take the attention off of the bride on the actual wedding day (except for the groom).

[@triffgrl]

Mmmmm. I have mixed feelings about this. Do I agree that Hair should match the theme of the Wedding no. However, electric blue hair is not commonly found in nature and that is the real issue.

[@MegaTory11]

Honestly if my best friend is offering me to wear a wig just for one night just so things won’t clash then fine. It wasn’t a big request. She’s also paying for everything just for me to come and enjoy myself, the least I can do is wear a wig or change my hair color. Yes they are both being petty but still

[@daaje_o]

I'm just gonna say, people are not decor! You can have a colour palette for interior, flowers etc. But you should want the people there for them, for your relationship with them. Not for their looks

[@ShinbiBelldandy]

Unpopular opinion: if you want people to change for your wedding, you're not a real friend. Wearing a color or dress you're not a fan of to support your friend on their big day is one thing. To ask them to change their overall aesthetic & look for a few hours to cater to your look or the norm is not.

[@aaroncarter6417]

Hi Jamie, this is Aaron from RoseMorning, we are a company focused on flower walls for wedding events, we have been following you for a long time and love your videos so much, can we get some cooperation together? Looking forward to your reply.

[@chelktty]

Why couldn’t a solution to story #1 be a wig or to have the photographer photoshop the bridesmaid’s hair color in the printed photos?

[@Just_CoJo]

The first girl is an a-hole for expecting her bridesmaid to change her hair color, but the friend is an a-hole for suggesting she change the theme (if she was serious).

[@16poetisa]

I highly doubt she was 😂

[@Just_CoJo]

@@16poetisa I doubt it too, but ya never know. Weddings make people go wild. lol

[@Mr.And.Mrs.Wedding]

1. Personally for me I’m telling my girls in the first place when I ask them that at the wedding their hair can’t be an unnatural colors only natural if died. Just my preference but I am telling them straight up if they don’t like it they can say no. I’m paying a lot of money for my photos. But also none of my girls really do that. I totally agree with the top comment! 2. All I have to say is YTA 😂. She even told you before hand what she was doing it’s not like she just went off and disappeared and you were worried. 3. Wtf NTA 😂. It’s not like you were actually wearing white 😂

[@pa686]

Third one, the bride is crazy lol. NTA But.. I get why the bride is annoyed, he is 19 and said he didn't want to be there, that tells me he might have been vocal, annoyed, petty or something else. He changes AT the wedding and leaves in working clothes which is disrespectful. To me he is the asshole but not due to the white.

[@lydiazap7243]

Changing at the wedding and saying bye to the bride and groom in a work uniform is more gauche to me than it is being an asshole. He's only 19 and I could easily imagine a guy at that age not even thinking about how changing before leaving the wedding was a social faux pas. It was the wrong call but I wouldn't call it being an asshole.

[@pa686]

@@FirstnameLastnames exactly. It serles like they wanted the drama

[@gailmueller174]

Photoshop her hair to your "desired" color in the photos you keep for yourself.

[@thatgirl_tab]

I love dying my hair bright colors. For my brother's wedding I was a bridesmaid. I asked my FSIL (who is also my BFF) if she would mind if I my hair was a bright shade. It was time for me to redo my color or if I was she wanted a normal shade I needed to start growing my hair out now. She was an extremely laidback bride. Her response was great. She said that she doesn't care what my hair looks like but when I look back at photos what will on want to see on myself. I thought that was a great point. I don't know if in 20 years I'll still be into brightly colored hair but I will always enjoy my natural shade. I was blonde until a little after the wedding and I look great in the pics. It's been almost 10 years and thinking about it now, while I still love brightly colored hair I would hate if my hair was an eyesore in their wedding photos. And that's what it would be. I would have been the only person in any of the photos with bright hair. It would have made me the odd one in each one. TLDR I checked with a bride before dying my hair bright since I knew I was a bridesmaid because it's common freaking courtesy. Also, op offered a freaking wig and to cover the cost of that. The friend is just not an actual friend imo.

[@tedscout4304]

Talk about leaving in uniform - when the bush is on fire over the next valley and half the guests are in the fire brigade - yes they all left in uniform and my friend donated the food and the cake to volunteers. Now that was a wedding!

[@VictoriaMorganawesometori]

I hope that woman in the second story drops that whole friend group. With friends backing up the bride and acting like that who needs enemies?

[@KaydeenJahmoya]

I guess I’m the AH because miss ma’am with the electric blue hair just wouldn’t be in my wedding and I’d cancel everything else I paid for 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Housewarmin]

I asked the bride if she would care if I cut my hair before her wedding. She said she didn't really care, but just asking is always nice. especially if this is your best friend.

[@QuestionableLifeChoices]

god these videos are so fun lmao also, hey, the age thing actually kinda came into play here! the last one was a 19 year old guy so his not really thinking things like that in the moment make total sense. makes him even less of an a-hole imo; who expects a teenage guy to be thinking about nitpicky dress codes? ok, the first one: i was about to say that she was TA but when you add in that the friend REFUSED a nice lacefront option (because i totally understand not wanting to undo an expensive dye job, i wouldn't either) AND just how much the bride is shelling out for her specifically?! hell no, friend is the AH. refusing to meet halfway with the wig, she's just taking advantage and it pisses me off that reddit said she was TA. is the whole thing ridiculous? yes, but i'm getting bad vibes from the friend now. it's one night (or just a day, even, if the bride is cool with the blue hair for the reception!) and it's the bride's day

[@jadend6978]

I get wanting everything to match; but also, don’t you want everyone to be happy and relaxed at your event? My mom has asked what color dress I want her in and my response was “whatever makes you comfortable as long as it’s not white lol” I get this is supposed to be a big day, but it’s also supposed to be a super happy day! No need to make it unnecessarily stressful.

[@chrisk4053]

Why would someone be so outraged over a white lanyard !? I respect weddings but come on now. A white lanyard sets someone off ? I think some brides are over stating their importance 😊😊

[@Sokolva]

I really don’t get personally why someone would care that much about another persons hair, especially if it’s just something they have in general in their everyday life. It’s just such a level of detail obsession that matters nothing to your wedding quality and won’t really affect your enjoyment of pictures, because in the future you can just look at the friends around you with love and be glad they are there. Every style we are wearing right now will be outdated when we have older children, then grandchildren. Blue hair won’t matter then at all, it will just be a part of the style and time of that era, and will be put in the similar context as everything else.

[@candicewaller403]

I wasn't even a bridesmaid, and I got a ton of pressure from my family to color my grey hair before my brother's wedding (not from my brother or his wife, mostly my mom and aunts). Like it was all mom would talk to me about for weeks, "Don't you want to look nice for brother's wedding?" "Won't you be embarrassed to have grey hair on such a special day?" "Just get a demi-color that will wash out in a few weeks!" It was non-stop until I put my foot down. I wore my natural grey hair in a beautiful updo with crystals and pearls and I got several compliments. I don't know why people get so weird about other people's hair that they wear all the time in their daily life... If anything, it would be even more strange and distracting for someone to suddenly show up to a wedding with drastically different hair than normal.

[@toffepajja]

Re: the haircolour one. As someone with a sister who loves to have bubble-gum pink hair and have helped her dye it on multiple occasions, I understand the work that goes into getting and keeping a specific shade that you like. The bride has no right to tell anyone to change something about themselves like that. The friend wasn't very mature in her response, but I absolutely get it. The bride sort of is saying to her friend "your identity (because how we present ourselves is part of our identity) isn't important to me, change it for this one day" rather than accepting that the hair is part of the friend. If it's so important that the friend has a "normal" hair colour, buy/rent a wig. Though, that doesn't guarantee that the friend will come, because it's still insulting.

[@xfairfaeriex]

I think it was too far when the bride originally asked to have it dyed back to normal and I personally would have just led with the wig suggestion that she made later (this was left out of this reaction but you can see it in the written post at 0:37 in the video). I don't think it's unreasonable to ask to wear a wig for one day to make your friend happy on their wedding day. If a friend of mine asked me to wear a teal wig to match a teal wedding theme for their wedding (I have natural hair), I would totally do that for them because it's barely an inconvenience. As their friend you should _want_ to make them happy if it's not too much too ask which wearing a wig definitely isn't. You and your identity will still be you after one day of wearing a wig. It's basically like a costume which has no significant impact on you expressing your identity for _one_ day.

[@TEWMUCH]

I must be an a hole because for some of this i agree with the original poster. Everyone has a right to their requests. And ppl that truly love u will work with u. Not expect u to never ask them of anything. Blue hair girl is unacceptable..i pay for everything and give u a vacation and u cant even slap on a wig.?? At this point, im judging Jamie that she always thinks brides have to bend over backwards for everyone. It's called compromise. Settle your differences with loved ones. Dont just leave them unhappy. To say her paying for everything is irrelevant is just irresponsible. Its alot to give. She is showing her love by paying all this money, the blue haired girl can show her love by slapping on a wig or dying it. Also, if u agree to be IN a wedding, u are agreeing to a DRESS CODE, as chosen by THE BRIDE. To me, the blue haired girl is the a hole.

[@CocoCece08]

Story 2 - YTA. Holy crap, OP! She went to visit her DEAD HUSBAND! Girl, get over yourself. I want to hug this cousin so much right now.

[@bibbaaah]

People care wayyyyyyy too much how perfect their wedding photos look. But like, why? You'll have like 50 photos and you surely are not printing off all 50 lol. Who cares if someone's hair clashes with the color code? Don't print off the pictures that she's in. Are you really going to be upset when you look at the pictures later on because it clashes, or will you be more upset that your best friend isn't there? Are you worried about what people on social media will say? No one at the wedding will be rude about how her hair clashes, so honestly why is it such a big deal?

[@klm_shadow]

The uniform guy I don’t think it’s exactly fair to think he should crunch up in his car to change when there’s a perfectly usable bathroom. A white patch and lanyard? That’s it? Do people need to black out their teeth what about the whites of their eyes? This is ridiculous and downright stupid.

[@NessyNess182]

Personally if it were my best friend, I think it would be kind of funky to have her stand out in the bridal party, not a big deal, that's just me and my sense of humor. However, if she dyed her hair blue right before the wedding, there had to be a reason. Who does that knowing they'll be a very important, and very visual part of your very important day? It's a toss up for me, need more context.

[@jadedixon3641]

As someone who will be having a courthouse wedding and no reception, I guess the bride whose BFF got the hair dyed... does the BFF person routinely pick crazy hair colors? If so, they're your BFF and you should have known what you were getting into. If this is the first time then I wonder what BFF's motivation is for the sudden change.

[@Me-wk3ix]

Honestly, I'd think the friend could wear a wig, at least for the ceremony and pictures. That's not a huge ask. Especially if the bride buys it and the friend gets to pick it out.

[@ThyStickWizard]

Okay, did anyone else come across this channel and go "Holy shit, Kyra Sedgwick is a wedding planner??" Just me?