Alan partridge 2.2.6 I'm all yours

[@jonnyspen8403]

Imagine telling a lady who is performing a 'sex act' upon you that she 'knows her onions'. Some of the finest comedy writing ever done.

[@perspexorange]

"It was my understanding in the lift that no money would change hands" is the single best Partridge line ever uttered by the great man. You don't even need to see that 'lift conversation' to know just how painful it would've been. Brilliantly written. Comedy genius.

[@Amethyst_Friend]

There was no awkward conversation. Jill was up for it

[@CelticSaint]

Exactly! It's the implied awkwardness that had previously occurred that cracks me up!

[@bensmithkent22]

Ding!

[@MrPicklerwoof]

I just love the idea of her sitting there waiting for Alan to finish his dump, looking over at the framed photos of Jet and Roger Moore, wondering what she's letting herself in for.

[@DIGITAL-JESUS]

Lolol

[@paulduckworth316]

Let battle commence...

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

Alan never did get to know her views of the pedestrianisation of the Norwich city centre.

[@MatthewLee-um9fo]

If she had any sense she’d be dead against it.

[@nightw4tchman]

@@MatthewLee-um9fo But they do they it'll help people in wheel chairs.

[@JMG_86]

*bang on against it

[@Peto111222]

@@nightw4tchman You've got a lot to learn.

[@TheFridayFightNight]

nightw4tchman NB l Lll l k lllmlol l lll l l l

[@stephendines1936]

I must say I'm tremendously excited by all this.

[@cacambo589]

I think he said "excited".

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

Let battle commence!

[@jupitorious7925]

By all this !!!

[@johnmirfield8875]

I'm 42. Alan Partridge is the best comedy character I've ever seen in those 42 years.

[@insightphoto]

is that meant to be ironic?

[@SuperJimmytang]

Im 43 you cheeky git

[@urthofthenewsun8465]

“Got your big plate, Alan?” “...Ye-es.”

[@arklowrockz]

"Access to DIXons!!!" might be one of the best comic lilnes ever delivered

[@emmylou4522]

Absolutely love it! 🤣🤣🤣

[@WallieTheRed]

That's first class

[@arahant69]

apropos achieving surround sound.

[@jimjam8949]

😂😂😂

[@CelticSaint]

I love the way that upon leaving the restaurant with Jill, Alan has to walk past all 4 staff members who are observing him closely.

[@hawsrulebegin7768]

Has to be the funniest comedy segment ever ever ever. Perfection.

[@stevem030]

That is superb. That is first class.

[@aestheticaltwat]

Urm... Jill, I’m afraid I have no sheaths.

[@garryharriman7349]

Ruddy good stuff!

[@BlindDweller]

Do you mind if I talk?

[@Peto111222]

@@garryharriman7349 Like Bravo 2.0

[@garryharriman7349]

@@Peto111222 😂

[@newuk26]

“Let battle commence” 😂😂 Sad truth is most times a couple first get together is as awkward as this! Or is that just me? 😄

[@altt-check1-2]

Not as awkward as this 😂

[@visionist7]

Depends on how you met

[@PaulieD1984]

Depends how much rohypnol you've slipped in their drink

[@bananabuttons6637]

It helps if slightly drunk, then you don't feel as paranoid I find.

[@martywize5909]

I once said at the magic moment ‘….brace yourself’. Didn’t go down as well as I thought it would 😟

[@andrewmurray5542]

If i ever find myself in this situation, i have a horrible feeling i won't be able to stop myself quoting at least some of these lines, if not all of them.

[@nightw4tchman]

I did the pedestrianation line once. She was in on the joke though and told me to shut up.

[@AtheistOrphan]

@@nightw4tchman- Not easy with her mouth full!

[@bensmithkent22]

@@nightw4tchmanshes a keeper

[@nightw4tchman]

Regrettably she wasn't.@@bensmithkent22

[@andrewmurray5542]

​@@nightw4tchman 😂😂😂

[@ControlAllDa1337]

I don't even remember hearing "oooh Jill you know your onions" the first time around. Jill seems like a lot of fun lol

[@Clissoldkid]

"You've missed a bit!" Why does no modern comedy make me laugh out loud like this?

[@gergemini2993]

classic british comedy was in a league of its own. im irish and i grew up watching british tele......nothing like it! no profanity - just good clean (dirty-clean) fun :) lol

[@dogbadger]

Peepshow also made me laugh out load like this but there is nothing else of the last 25 years.

[@PETAL19]

AP makes me laugh out loud also...he is brilliant 😅😅

[@fintonmainz7845]

Old fart

[@pcoldlight5631]

They left the champagne downstairs!

[@robinjames7493]

some people...

[@AlisonBryen]

Remembered his big plate though!

[@JMG_86]

*half a bottle

[@Peto111222]

This country...

[@Peto111222]

@@JMG_86 o Blue Nun

[@pr9062]

Never get tired of watching these.

[@calumberry4099]

13 dislikes? This country.

[@bensmithkent22]

You people

[@mikeyk212]

That's first class. That is superb

[@lofinomad8315]

I learned all my moves from Alan.

[@tompurcell1499]

I'm a sad 60 year-old virgin too.

[@sarahdixon6011]

Ah ha!

[@satireisnotdead5804]

Diddly di-di-dee, I like it, diddly di-di-dee, they like it

[@christoguichard4311]

"Across the Ouse to the Waveney..." 😂😂😂

[@futurecat71]

Let Battle Commence!! lol!

[@garibaldi54]

"Lets be appalling"

[@DiddyDavid]

There you go, it’s all happening....best ever Partridge sketch imho....

[@forgive7449]

....got your big plate alan ? 😛

[@m3anthony]

Allen Lymilt Got to be my favourite line from all programs.

[@cherrypickingdiaries]

I'm not haggling 😂

[@eddiebradley8787]

"Ive just been eating some mousse" genius line

[@markheywood8236]

....they do say it'll help people in WHHHHHEEEEELCHAAaaaiiirs....

[@SegaStation]

I'm 49 today. For my birthday I asked my dad a few days ago to get me a valance (the only thing i actually need) my 72 year old dad didn't know what a valance was so I sent him clip. Its taken him 4 days to recover from it. He was laughing so much he said he nearly had a heart attack.

[@Philosoph-ali]

Did he have Kenco coming out of his nostrils?

[@SegaStation]

@@Philosoph-alinot Kenco, Ladyboys!

[@coolbeans4u]

​@@Philosoph-aliyes. thankfully ops nostrils were clear

[@stephendines1936]

Jill I'm afraid I've no sheaths

[@zeddeka]

They had to film the scene when Michael comes to the door several times because they couldn't stop laughing.

[@georgeknox1822]

How this guy ever gets sex is beyond me .. 😂😂😂. He’s a genius at portraying his character …

[@jonathancarter6831]

"Lynn, hand me an Apple pie and remove yourself from the theatre of conflict". Was there ever anyone funnier?. The comic genius of this man is in my DNA.

[@stephenowens3687]

I've used many of Alan's lines, especially' Let battle commence!' In bed with my wife. For some reason, she doesn't find it nearly as funny as I do? Strange..

[@thomaslouise8238]

I regularly say “that was classic intercourse” after sex with your wife and she seems to like that line

[@theorooney1319]

Let battle commence!

[@BlindDweller]

"Shall I do it more quickly or shall I maintain the same speed?"

[@Adam-XL]

This video is not 5 star, but it's certainly competitive

[@stephendines1936]

Got yer big plate Alan?

[@cacambo589]

Uncanny! Those very words were in the excerpt above!!

[@jkkay477]

@@cacambo589 It's a sad fact of life that 90% of comments on any TV/movie excerpt are just direct quotes from the video.

[@robertbraviner2269]

People forget that traders need access to Dixon's 🤣🤣

[@teetywoo3156]

"got your bit plate Alan?"

[@AtheistOrphan]

teety woo - BIG plate.

[@stephendines1936]

There you go its all happening.

[@bensmithkent22]

Do you mind if i talk?........

[@Crocs4cats]

Not sure if it’s funny or sad that I know someone just like this!😅

[@michaelengland7228]

Yes. Every time you look in the mirror.

[@andrewbowen6875]

It’s the dirty protest that kills me every time 😂

[@bensmithkent22]

And the menopause line

[@patagualianmostly7437]

@@bensmithkent22 Oh yes....that was Alan Partridge all the way...... "Given your age......" Brilliant!

[@robnorton9496]

I've said the pedestrianisation comment during, once.

[@neil7994]

Sheaths, prophylactics...rubber johnnys!

[@nickblades9024]

“You link my arm and we’ll try and leave with some dignity “

[@davidlumb3167]

" I've just been eating some mousse "

[@kalekold]

The amount of mental discipline that took to perform and not laugh must have been immense.

[@CelticSaint]

@@kalekold They had to do that take MANY times as both of them kept laughing. I think the outtakes are on here on YT somewhere.

[@nicksmith12]

That's first class!

[@briandoyle6188]

I nearly ended up in a+e first time I watched this ..menapouuuuuuueeerrrss..

[@andyspinks9996]

There you go, it's all happening!! 😂

[@sera2775]

Jill is I believe the same actress who played the sozzled landlady where tim and daisy lived in Spaced. 70 quid I think is more than fair, btw.

[@MW7MWZ]

Marsha

[@joedent3323]

It is for that old grot-bag. She's Ruff like a dog; shes rougher than John Waynes hairy saddlebags; she's a ruffian of the lowest class. Ho-bag.

[@bensmithkent22]

Yea in 1997 for sure for that old trollop.

[@becausegang7266]

You could add a zero to that... What 70 quid 😂😂

[@highdownmartin]

Double it

[@Stu-Vino]

@@highdownmartin I'm not haggling…

[@DuderinoDeux]

That was classic intermingling!

[@dryflyman7121]

There’s only Partridge would give a running commentary .

[@modmutha8608]

Wheeeeeel chairs

[@garibaldi54]

"Oooh, Jill you know your onions"

[@sports872]

Never noticed Jill saying "Michael" 0:51 and saw this loads of times.

[@Knappa22]

He is so objectionable in every way 😣😁

[@sports872]

I wonder what the lift scene between them would be like when Alan getting confirmation that no money would change hands.

[@D1ARBO]

“I’ve just been eating some moose” the double meaning in that is mega!

[@DrWilkinsonSci]

“The skirt thing around the bed”

[@jag1963]

Every line is comedy genius.

[@Comewithmeifuwant2live]

It started with a kiss

[@johnodee100]

"Keep the wolf from the door." 😂

[@petefinegan8567]

SC is a genius nuff said 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@2323fifi]

CRINGEY PERFECTION ❤😵‍💫❤️

[@garibaldi54]

"I've just been eating some moose".

[@tonygrice1450]

Such great lines to use when I next go on a date 😅😎👊🏻

[@ianinkster2261]

As a younger man I never found the light-dimming funny. Now as an older man with an embarrassing sex face, I understand.

[@redmondo42]

Oooh Jill, you know your onions

[@jacobfield4848]

"In off the pink..."

[@RichardWhite-cb4ni]

"Access to dixons"

[@AM-ub6fv]

Let Battle Commence.

[@keith6400]

5.10 He reminds me of Terry Griffiths the world champion snooker player.

[@horse69outside]

Oddly also a bit of Alex Higgins.

[@siresquire9439]

"Im talking about the Men a MENOPAOOOHH Jill"

[@TheGardfeez]

Ooooh Jill you know you're onions 😂

[@rebeccaard1]

Your*

[@paulmartin4670]

"You know your onions..."

[@johnmc3862]

Some kind of dirty protest. 😂😂😂

[@silageheap795]

OOOOHHH! Jill, you know your onions!

[@andrewbowen6875]

I doubt Americans would get this on the same level as those in the U.K. because deep down everyone has been exposed to their own Partridge at work or even family. Dire Straits and Genesis seems to be a common factor and putting their own words to songs they’ve got in their heads

[@marcanderson-jones3518]

You know your onions 😄

[@itsdebs]

There you go, it’s all happening! 😂

[@razamadaz3417]

Quick-fire humour at it's finest.

[@edglue6138]

There’s a bit of Alan in us all

[@moonlit6311]

"It's all happening.." 😂 Yuk. That mousse looks disgusting.

[@aspacepigtaipei]

Let battle commence

[@jamesmay7009]

Ooo Jill, you know ya onions

[@10188deathstarhero]

You know your onions

[@irisdainter6507]

Classic comedy.

[@duffymoony]

"Jill, you know your onions"

[@HHM706]

when der bowt cooms in

[@MelliaBoomBot]

tears............lol

[@colinrgage]

Got your big plate Alan? Lol

[@ismu34]

Missed the bit where Lynn tries to split a cab and he says "Jill will be spending the night with me!"

[@KerrisonA]

What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich City Centre?

[@aaloo69]

Jill is fit

[@williamsterben]

She certainly is!

[@Mtblex]

@Richard Christopher butter my arse

[@andyfielder2557]

I concur that Richard Christopher has won this battle.

[@BaronVonGreenback1882]

He left his half bottle of Champagne on the table.

[@jupitorious7925]

Shall I maintain the same speed ?

[@bensmithkent22]

Or move onto the other one

[@sports872]

Stand down at eees.. You're not in the army anymore

[@paulmagee6249]

Forgot the champagne

[@MrDeadhead83]

Jill what do you think about the predestination of Norwich city centre? 😆

[@andrewmurray5542]

Posdibly the funniest bit i think amongst all the other hilarious lines. I think he may well have preferred a discussion about that instead of what's to come with Jill, if you pardon the expression.