Thanks for your videos Alexander. Because of your voice in that whole dating stuff I didn't become bitter, resentful and frustrated guy who hates women. I love that you're not spiteful but also merciless and brutally honest when speaking truth about women. I hope you realize how many men you helped with debunking the myth of women as pure, angelic, almost transcendential beings from another world, who only care about men's soul.
@altair911003 жыл бұрын
BTW I realize the video was not about it, but I just wanted to comment in order to both help the youtube algorithm and give a shoutout to Alexander before even watching :)
@kitesupreme89073 жыл бұрын
I wish I can get over the resentment though. I'm really starting to hate them and it's affecting my day to day life. I used to be in relationships but I've been used and abused, discarded, humiliated, it's like I suddenly got this target on my forehead
@altair911003 жыл бұрын
@@kitesupreme8907 I'm very sorry that it happened to you. I hope you will sort this out. Remember, your past does not have to define your future and also it is not a shame to look for a professional help.
@diemervdberg76613 жыл бұрын
yes same. I still get that resentment feeling when I watch some vids of other creators sometimes but mostly when I watch AG it helps me rationalize it.
@malikwilson73873 жыл бұрын
@@altair91100 why yall alwys complaing about women improve yourself
@sickle72913 жыл бұрын
At this point I don't care anymore. I began my self-improvement for the women, but now I'm doing it for myself only.
@KP-fy5bf3 жыл бұрын
Cope
@whenpigsfly81783 жыл бұрын
@@KP-fy5bf Even if it is, so what? What's it to you? Let me guess, he's 'letting the side down' or you're just wanting to kick a dog when it's down?
@rishirajsaikia13233 жыл бұрын
@@KP-fy5bf you deserve to get married and then divorced.
@MsSomeonenew3 жыл бұрын
Doing things for you is the only healthy way, otherwise it will always have an air of resentment.
@malikwilson73873 жыл бұрын
@@whenpigsfly8178 please stop complaining about women that dont think about you
@manray65843 жыл бұрын
I'm 30. And after years of rejection I've come to believe that it's not true that "You've got nothing to lose". I'm not afraid of rejection. But I'm afraid of who I have become because of it. Now instead of dreaming of meeting "the one" I dream of coming to terms with a life of solitude. I want to live alone in the forest somewhere and be a hermit. I want to enjoy nature, great literature, good food and music. And I'm just going to live my life. If I meet someone who doesn't beat me down great. But I definitely don't expect that.
@ExoecistBlue Жыл бұрын
Rejection is nothing ive been there lots of times believe me
@circleofattention6021 Жыл бұрын
All more power to you man! No man needs a relationship in which he’s on the losing end. Good luck buddy
@rhuiden4086 Жыл бұрын
The problem is that men have been conditioned to believe they NEED a woman to have a fulfilled life. Its actually women who need men for that not the other way round.
@danieldaniels7571 Жыл бұрын
I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again
@sandwich-breath Жыл бұрын
Read Iron John by Robert Bly. Women are a pleasant distraction from men’s purpose, not the goal or reward. Stop focussing on women, they’re not the answer.
@BlueBedouin3 жыл бұрын
The most disgusting thing I've learned about dating women from dating is women don't care about your struggles or personhood. Once I learned this I didn't care if they were attracted to me, I just lost so much respect and desire.
@gordongekko27812 жыл бұрын
Smart. Be the best man you can be, but do it for yourself. Hang in there, brother.
@haselbasil24882 жыл бұрын
You were dating the wrong kind of women.
@ahmedhashmi32582 жыл бұрын
How can they care when they were designed to bond with one or two guys at most? Care goes out the window at an early age for these women…
@Big_Abomination2 жыл бұрын
These people only want a tool for their ego.
@haselbasil24882 жыл бұрын
@@Big_Abomination That's hilarious, considering most men only want to "get" a woman for their ego.
@WheatWaffles3 жыл бұрын
Given the amount of truth spoken in this video, I've no idea how this got monetised
@koetsuharrylol3 жыл бұрын
Alexander is becoming more and more blackpilled, it’s good to see large channels like his and yours spreading the truth!
@guillonremi56683 жыл бұрын
Isn't this video a bit of a cope though...? I mean, as much as i aspire to a long lasting, fulfilling relationship, a period of slaying first doesn't seem bad either...
@JstJaybeingJay3 жыл бұрын
Hey wheat...
@jkshallinheritearth38833 жыл бұрын
Stupid inkwell! I'd seen wheelchair disable man with beautiful girl!
@koetsuharrylol3 жыл бұрын
@@jkshallinheritearth3883 squirmy and grubs are your real life example of that. All for the cameras and not genuine love/attraction in my opinion.
@richardblabla3 жыл бұрын
My life and mental health have improved so much since I just gave up on dating a few years ago. Great channel.
@GUNMETALGUYUSA3 жыл бұрын
Ditto
@broke1233 жыл бұрын
Same here, after the ex wife left a couple of years ago I told myself never again and honestly once you truly let go of that feeling of need or want for women the amount of stress that has been lifted is crazy. I've literally never felt more free and while I sometimes miss the old connection I had with her honestly the idea of giving this up now to go back to something like that isn't so appealing.
@danballe3 жыл бұрын
@@broke123 Thanks for that input, yours is a REAAL valid variant of the "The Juice is not worth the squeeze". Hopefully you are able to mentally not picture the bad times and just move on, move ahead (I never had a LTR and the possibilities I had and messed up, I keep replaying the bad in my head, lets all collectively as men support to NOT do what I did.)
@quill64083 жыл бұрын
I'm telling you man, you have to come to a place where you can enjoy the single life while still sourcing leads, playing the numbers game, and pursuing women when convenient and you have nothing better to do. It's hard to get there but eventually you get to a place where you become numb how toxic dealing with women is. That said, never go out of your way for women, spend a bunch of time/money on them, or plan around them actually showing up. They'll never go out of their way for you. the reason to do this is because actually actively pursuing women and running volume increases our chances of success dramatically. Up to you of course, but it's some food for thought
@randombassguy57803 жыл бұрын
Many of us resonate with you here bro.
@PGateBaseball3 жыл бұрын
It’s funny cause I live in the exact situation you talked about at the beginning. I am married, have two daughters, and have felt before that I missed out on being a “player” or whatever because I got married so young. After watching videos like yours and others showing how the dating market is currently, it’s caused me to re-evaluate my life and what I have. I’m so grateful for my wife and girls. I’m super lucky to be in the position I’m at. What I have is extremely rare in today’s world. I have a beautiful wife who’s only ever been with me and we are raising two amazing girls together. I think I’ve realized I’ve reached the peak of what you can as a man. It’s amazing to have a woman in your life who desires you. But this also means I don’t stop trying. A relationship takes a ton of work. I’m continuing working on myself and keeping myself in a position where my wife wants to keep us together. Anyway I’m glad I’ve found your channel. I’ve learned a lot from you.
@alexandergrace53503 жыл бұрын
Good man :)
@lionheart41093 жыл бұрын
If you don't mind sharing, how did you meet? Are you highschool sweethearts, meet via church or family members as common friends?
@maryklatka59893 жыл бұрын
A man who realizes his blessings is twice blessed! Your wife is a lucky woman and your girls will have the foundation of growing up in a secure and loving family. So happy you shared.
@PGateBaseball3 жыл бұрын
We actually met in college back on 2009. So a whole different dating market back then. Also both of us grew up Mormon, which if you know anything about them they’re all about not having sex til you’re married, which usually leads many to get married young. Currently we both don’t follow that religion anymore because we don’t believe or agree with a lot of its teachings but I do think the focus on chastity as a younger individual can probably be a good thing in the long run. I think they do take it a bit over the top in some cases and cause anxiety with many youth but the generality of it could be good. So yeah in a way I’m resentful of how I was brought up but also grateful for it. And in the end it’s led to what I have now.
@HenryDube723 жыл бұрын
@@PGateBaseball trust the results you have now are a blessing, may your marriage prosper further. Dating is a strenuous exercise and sometimes after achieving what you are looking for you ask yourself if it's worth the effort. It's only good if it doesn't eat much of your energy, time, resources and state of mind.
@eberkberk82563 жыл бұрын
Doctor strange : “there are 14,000,605 possible outcomes to this date” Iron man : “And in how many of them do I score?” Doctor strange: “one”
@South_China_Sea_Yacht_Club3 жыл бұрын
You know its over when Tony Stark has a hard time scoring with a modern woman
@commentarytalk14463 жыл бұрын
LOL !! Or to quote Dumb & Dumber: "So you're saying, I have a chance?" I think the mating part of the life cycle is a small part, not the main part. So it is with animals so it is with humans! Enjoy each part and "dance to the music of time".
@markkuuss3 жыл бұрын
someone should meme this
@maxmuller67303 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂🤤
@ganjasenpai42423 жыл бұрын
0
@nickbargas73523 жыл бұрын
Alexander genuinely caring about men.
@Alexandratheberge3 жыл бұрын
One thing missing here those dating coach and pick up artist can get you that special person
@p2p1043 жыл бұрын
Men have to care about other men, because women wont do that
@flutterwind7686 Жыл бұрын
@@Alexandratheberge He actually did mention that, you might've missed it
@hevnervals3 жыл бұрын
"High quality women don't have one night stands" I'm pretty sure 90% of women has at least had a couple of them. Makes it really hard to find a gf if you're going to exclude all of them
@20thcentury_toy3 жыл бұрын
If that's true, do it, the 90% are not worth it anyway
@Kdizzledub193 жыл бұрын
They’re rare. I’ve met them before though. They’re usually church/volunteer types who think outside of themselves
@matthewcoombs32823 жыл бұрын
Women enjoy sex as much as men. Most of us have had one night stands at one time or other. As we mature we move on from this behaviour. I think it is a question of how many and if the woman continues with this sort of behaviour into her late twenties when she should be settling into long term relationships. If you are looking for a Virgin in Western Societies then you might have more success finding a unicorn.
@nathanmorgan36473 жыл бұрын
@@20thcentury_toy And then we are all competing for the same 10% of Women. No win
@TheEriksen1233 жыл бұрын
"don't have" is different from "have had". I also exclude women who smoke, but not all women who smoked in the past.
@valentinivanov45573 жыл бұрын
I am sick of that "vulnerability".When you show vulnerability you will lose every time.
@valentinivanov45573 жыл бұрын
@@newbiegain117 I learned that the hard way and that's why I am commenting it here I hope it's clear
@JOBRAIL13 жыл бұрын
You can be vulnerable without showing vulnerability. Be a man. Then be a gentleman.
@JariSatta3 жыл бұрын
If you become soft, I'll take over
@francescodalo88283 жыл бұрын
@@JariSatta that is one of the most cleverly articulated comment that I have seen in a while.
@hugostiglitz23883 жыл бұрын
If she can't suck a golf ball up a garden hose, leave her.
@sifuentes41133 жыл бұрын
As a former member of the "top tier men" I can confirm that what he says at 4:14 is 100% true. At the end of the day, it's not worth it. It's a fracking train wreck
@warren010h3 жыл бұрын
Absolutely. It feels good in the moment, but shortly after, there's no substance in it. And when you realize that the majority of them, you likely wouldn't date, it really hits then. But the thing is, the more you do it, the more "addicted" you sort of get to it and want to do so. And the more you do that, the more at risk you put your future. If you ever end up in this position, it's probably best to exit it while you're ahead. I justified a bit of it by saying that most women I've been with, I actually developed a good friendship with. But even then, the casual stuff just doesn't go anywhere. It feels empty after a while.
@BeastMode-oz8qc3 жыл бұрын
Worse yet when u get one pregnant
@warren010h3 жыл бұрын
@@BeastMode-oz8qc Yup, there's nothing worse than a phone call or text message saying "We need to talk" or "I have something to tell you" from someone you would not date 😂. Your mind immediately goes, "my life is over" haha. I laugh, but it's reality a lot of times. I've seen guys lives get wrecked because they got the wrong woman pregnant. Damn I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Best to get snipped if you're going to keep doing it. Otherwise, too risky.
@fenyx25583 жыл бұрын
Why 'former'?
@cicjose60163 жыл бұрын
@@fenyx2558 it sounds like they got into a high paying job, achieved all their finanical goals and then hated the stress that they may have got from that job and then knew if they could save enough money to try and change into a job that they enjoy, even if they have now gone down the road where there is less of the financial reward?
@rajakghosh66023 жыл бұрын
Attraction between men and women is asymmetrical. Women wants a guy who is always better than them. Taller, more social standing, financially sound, in shape and has game. While men looks submissive, feminine, young, good looking and slender women.
@loveoverhate75033 жыл бұрын
Thats why mid age women are so depressed they never loved just did business.
@Sang_Akrobatis3 жыл бұрын
What does *having game* mean? Sorry, I am asking because english is not my first language.
@rajakghosh66023 жыл бұрын
@@Sang_Akrobatis having confidence, assertiveness and leadership skills.
@JstJaybeingJay3 жыл бұрын
@Miguel Alves go to different country where women are shorter and you'll have foreigner effect going for you, maximize rest of the things that'll make attractive. You re Latino, if I'm not wrong. What about south America things not good for you there either...
@jkshallinheritearth38833 жыл бұрын
@@Sang_Akrobatis game means trying to create spark by talking with stacy(beautiful girl) even if you're ugly & old!
@rohitashswami41963 жыл бұрын
Completely agreed. I am one of the men who lost 'a very high-quality woman' to pay my sexual debt, that too after 6 years of fulfilling relationship. I used to think that she is preventing me from fulfilling my desires. What an idiot I was. Nothing is more satisfactory than lying close to a woman whom you love and who also loves you back in the same way after a very satisfying sex. Sex without love is so shallow. It's the love in the partner's eyes during sex that gives real sex-satisfaction.
@gwynedd12 жыл бұрын
Why would it be much different than porn? I could never be a cad because I just felt horrible about the idea of using a girl and dumping her.
@Anonymous-md2qp3 жыл бұрын
I’ve been in relationships that made me wish I was single again. The end goal isn’t always as good as you’d think it will be.
@Alexandratheberge3 жыл бұрын
One thing missing here those dating coachs and pick up artist can help you get that special person
@elonever.2.0713 жыл бұрын
@@Alexandratheberge I agree. Learning the rules of the game from them is a necessity if you didnt have men in your live growing up who showed you how to deal with women.
@Alexandratheberge3 жыл бұрын
@@elonever.2.071For me the usefulness of those dating channels is basically about efficiency and not wasting you're time and energy.And also about showing guys that approaching the cute girl at the library and asking her out really isn't such a big deal! I don't know why would anyone read any further into this?
@quill64083 жыл бұрын
@@Alexandratheberge I agree with what you're saying completely friend. I think a man today has to get in a mindset where he can accept that 1) the single life is obviously shittier than a relationship with a respectable woman (which is the motivation not to just give up) 2) it takes time to find that awesome girl 3) while you're looking for that awesome girl, you have to learn to ENJOY BEING SINGLE or the anxiety will destroy you 4) you have to play the numbers and that means chasing every lead because it dramatically increases the chances of finding a woman that's worth and interested in the long haul; having every dating app despite how terrible and miserable they are for men, taking chances in your social circle/employment with girls that reciprocate interest, and chatting up and flirting with girls when you're out with friends, at the store, etc, 5) not every relationship with a seemingly or actually good girl is going to work out, and we have to exit these relationships looking back objectively to learn about ourselves what led it to failure in the first place and be better next time and finally 6) absorb all of the information from the "manosphere" (alexander grace, fresh & fit, Aaron Clarey, The Rational Male, etc) and come to our own conclusions as to what works and makes sense to us. I've come to the conclusion thats just the best chance we've got.
@Alexandratheberge3 жыл бұрын
@@quill6408 I see your'e passionate about the subject so i will discuss a few ideas about it with you. I agree with you that you have to play the numbers game with everything at your disposal. And figure out what works best for us. As for my own experience i tried dating sites (which i hated for the same reason Alexander explained)and dating phone lines which was a lot of fun but took extraordinarily long to find a girl that was GF material and was also attracted to me. But for me By far the best way to find a girl i liked was the public pick up( street, school, the mall,pharmacy.library).Its also the hardest because it is quite scary to do for most guys including me to do this! I would like to go on talking about my experience about what i learned about street pick up and everything else if you are interested.And also listen an learn from youre experience and learned wisdom if you like ?
@MrAntinexus3 жыл бұрын
We live in so comfortable environment, that we(including girls) forgot that life is not an entertainment.
@coprilettodelnapoli54663 жыл бұрын
@@olemundoaguilar1224 but good
@InactiveAccount9963 жыл бұрын
The purpose of the dating market is to find someone and get the F out. So true. I'm happily married for 7 years and me and my wife agree that dating is a nightmare and we aren't going back to all of that nonsense. Find someone that is good to you and you're a winner.
@flow14653 жыл бұрын
How to find one though? Especially, when you feel behind and missed out in a lot of things. I know dating market is brutal for men. However, in order to find the one for me I still have to date.
@InactiveAccount9963 жыл бұрын
@@flow1465 Quantity. My wife and I met through online dating. You message 100 people to get 10 dates to find 1 that is maybe worth a second date. You have to meet lots of people to find one that is a good match. I liked it that she approached me because she liked the picture in my profile. That's how it starts.
@flow14653 жыл бұрын
@@InactiveAccount996 Need to up my social skills I guess.
@FirstLast-gk6lg3 жыл бұрын
Well you are the extreme minority of happily married men, literally everyone I have ever met in real life, has told me they regret getting married. And that they are ONLY happy due to their children. That doesn't sound like a great deal to me honestly
@InactiveAccount9963 жыл бұрын
@@FirstLast-gk6lg Marriage is not for everyone. Some people lack self-awareness and get themselves into situations they later regret. I didn't get married until I was 37. By that point I had figured some stuff out. Getting bitter and resentful after a relationship fails decreases one's attractiveness. Alexander is right on. Choose the one that chooses you. Don't chase. Get a pre-nup. I know I am very lucky - gratitude every day. Sometimes when you don't get what you want, you end up with something better.
@gosling43913 жыл бұрын
That story about the guy who left his family...my mouth just dropped. He had something that no money or status could ever bring...
@rajakghosh66023 жыл бұрын
Its the 80:20 or 90:10 Pareto rule. Average women don't want average men. They rather be single than live a humble life.
@David-mc5xy3 жыл бұрын
Yep the pareto rule is also evident in other areas of life like how 10 percent of men own 90 percent of the world's wealth etc.
@hevnervals3 жыл бұрын
Humble as in not rich? Women don't seem to care that much as long as you got a job.
@NahuCommNS3 жыл бұрын
@@hevnervals One in which you earn 150% more than they do, at least. Game is rigged, don't play unless you like insane odds. Cheers.
@hevnervals3 жыл бұрын
@@NahuCommNS 40% of married women are breadwinners now.
@NahuCommNS3 жыл бұрын
@@hevnervals The ones that settled for a man, or are in the process of leaving him. No such thing as a "breadwinner wife" can exist in this world, women themselves won't allow it, because they don't want to be in that position.
@terrykrow78203 жыл бұрын
Dating a women, most of the time, is like looking after a child. Very entitled and expect everything.
@malikwilson73873 жыл бұрын
Not true at all you just don't know what women want
@terrykrow78203 жыл бұрын
@@malikwilson7387 They want everything.
@marcelobasilio37863 жыл бұрын
What do they want, then?
@karamlevi3 жыл бұрын
I suggest more domination and in a fun friendly way. Set a better frame or don’t go on the date. I’m NOT chastising you or your share. Your a real dude, doing real dates. But what I said is truth. Don’t go on the date, if your not going to dominate the frame and enjoy that dominating.
@jth_printed_designs3 жыл бұрын
And just like children, they must be trained. Your woman needs to submit to your leadership or it's not going to work.
@carll923 жыл бұрын
Sure, if you find a high quality woman. But they are extremely rare and you still need to be in the top 5% to be selected by a high quality woman unless she is totally inexperienced and doesn't know her own value. Being in relationship with the average modern woman sucks, she thinks she deserves everything while offering nothing in return. It's not worth it. It's only headaches and problems and hard work.
@Demetrios19993 жыл бұрын
@@JJ-hu4cm Dating these modern women, probably. Hell! You only need 10 min. watching tiktok videos or something like that to reach the same conclusion.
@graymatters75843 жыл бұрын
At 24, my wife of (now) 30 years actually kicked to the curb a guy who was tall, rich and very good-lookiing -- for me. Because he wasn't a good person. Quality women are out there. The question for every man is whether he can recognize her when she comes along. If he's laser-focused on tits, ass and "getting some," he's likely to miss the gems who actually come his way.
@JamalW2393 жыл бұрын
That is exactly what I’m experiencing. The entitlement is astounding. Never settle for someone who thinks they are settling for you
@sethaldrich69023 жыл бұрын
@@graymatters7584 I'm glad you had a good experience a while ago but honestly man, now a days it's all changed, even from 6 years ago. Women have totally changed, the good ones, if there are any, are all taken. Guys do recognize a good thing when they find it generally. But in general, there is not a lot of good ones out there. A lot are spoiled, entitled brats to put it nicely.
@carll923 жыл бұрын
@@JJ-hu4cm Is this a serious question or are you trying to virtue signal? I'm not interested in woke or PC culture if that's your angle. You can't have missed that there is a lot of talk of what men need to do in order to be a good partner for a woman, but there is seldom any focus on what women need to do to be a good partner for a man. Even to suggest that women also need to learn how treat a man right is offensive. The blame is always on the man. All of society tells women they are perfect just the way they are, beautiful in every size and that they deserve everything and more just for existing. It's no wonder women have high expectations on men while also thinking it is enough for women to just show up and exist. Any man should be lucky to have her regardless of how she looks, how she behaves or the amount of effort she spends. This is what I've seen myself in modern western women, and also what I've heard from others. Of course there are exceptions, but most modern women bring more trouble than they are worth in my opinion. Maybe you have a different experience? Tell me. But for the average guy. Value your own happiness and mental well-being, either find the rare exception or stay single. Don't bother trying to make a relationship work with any of the others. If you are not the top 5% she will just resent you or disrespect you anyway, for being less than what she really deserves. I'm speaking from 15+ years experience in relationships. I choose to be single now and I've never been happier.
@diemervdberg76613 жыл бұрын
A guy I know, 27, got out of a 8 year relationship because of the debt feeling. She was one of the few normal women left (fit, feminine, caring and loyal) and the older men who are married long term all said he made a mistake. The next girl he got was one with some mental issues who used him as therapist..
@paulcolin90713 жыл бұрын
I think 27 is way too young to settle though anyway
@danballe3 жыл бұрын
Bummer, hopefully he realised that and left her. (Just in case , it would be good if he make it back to the other, but not have him chase her nor anybody)
@diemervdberg76613 жыл бұрын
@@danballe He left but they met up again when lock downs were over. His ex has a new bf now though so too bad for him.
@danballe3 жыл бұрын
@@diemervdberg7661 If she did, so should he, point him out to this channel and have him on his merry ways, improving himself.
@warren010h3 жыл бұрын
@@paulcolin9071 Possible. I've been back and forth with that also though I'm currently 29. My life has definitely been on the up the older I get and so have options. The thing is though, I think the longer you wait to settle in these current days, the less likely it'll be that you'll find a quality woman. I've met several woman that I could see myself with. Several of them are still good friends. Thing is, most of all of them were around my age. The ones that I would absolutely not settle with, have mostly been those a bit younger. Just a little joke (partially) here, but I'm seeing too much purple and pink hair these days in younger women. And I know first hand, that is NOT a good sign. I was with one casually for a bit and she had that youthful modern mentality. When I started caching feelings, I came to my senses pretty quickly and simmered them down because I knew there was no long-term potential. They are out there doing nasty things but are emotional wrecks. And lots of sex is a coping mechanism for many of them. (Obviously this was one experience, but there's something to it). My advice is to live it up as early on as you can if possible. And when you find someone of quality, at least consider locking her down. I don't think the dating market is improving anytime soon. If anything, it's on an exponential decline.
@michaelschaefer92663 жыл бұрын
Alex, you have just torn apart my deepest insecurities ever. I was in that trap of my pickup community. I have a lot of guy-friends who sleep around. I did it quite a lot too. But when I stopped they started saying that I'm not alpha anymore, I'm getting beta and so on. It worried me, I didn't want to loose my face with my friends, but I didn't wanna keep playing in the dating market. I felt quite uncomfortable about all of that. But after watching this video I got relaxed and calm. Finally! oh, this relief! Thank you Alex! You become my favorite person to watch on KZbin.
@Ashtonishing18123 жыл бұрын
Alpha is about doing what you want to do. Not what others want for you.
@FirstLast-gk6lg3 жыл бұрын
I agree with Ashley, don't let another man tell you what being a man is. in my opinion sleeping around is just a threshold, different for all men, once you have slept with enough women you don't feel like you need to anymore. And in my opinion this is where a man STARTS seeing women truthfully.
@fm2dmax Жыл бұрын
I read "The Game" by Niel Strauss and thats been my impression- most players get ABSORBED by the process and addicted to external validation - its a trap bc now they've invested all their spare energy on playing - and - ended up with mostly nothing.
@BWater-yq3jx Жыл бұрын
@@fm2dmax I read that too, about 20 years ago. Was surprisingly dark. But also fairly extreme cases set in a particular time and circumstance.
@beny.57363 жыл бұрын
When men start having some standards and chads stop settling for landwhales, we'll start to see an improvement in this huge disparity in the dating scene. Until then, I'm afraid things will only become worse.
@charliedallachie35393 жыл бұрын
Especially with the obesity crisis in western countries. No joke, a guy needs to travel to other countries it’s really eye opening when literally every woman in site is very attractive. It opens up so many more options.
@jamesrussell29363 жыл бұрын
@@charliedallachie3539 I think that's 1 of the top 2 reasons why dating is so hard for men in the West: a woman is in the top 30-40% simply by not being fat. So many women are fat and guys get so lonely that they give up and accept the fat women, because they don't have much of a choice! And so then the not-fat women value themselves higher just because they aren't fat, and fat women believe they're attractive when they just aren't. So, in the end, if you have standards you don't have many options.
@charliedallachie35393 жыл бұрын
@@jamesrussell2936 yea I had the opportunity a few years ago to travel over for a friends wedding in Poland and it’s legit attractive women literally everywhere you turn even at the mall….you stand out being an overweight dude if you are. I had only had a 2 weeks to spend there. Stopped by London on the way and it’s pretty much like NYC just more expensive. Definitely travel if you can. Tinder women were booming then overseas too I didn’t do it because I was on a short timeline.
@BHBalast3 жыл бұрын
@@charliedallachie3539 I'm from Poland and the obesity rate is low, but woman are as premiscious as elsewhere I guess, even the Catholic ones.
@charliedallachie35393 жыл бұрын
@@BHBalast sure but less so than here in the US. Also they’re more easy to talk to, you can strike a conversation with them easier if they know English well which a lot do. In the US women will have this “why are you talking to me” vibe often (even if you’re decent looking) unless you’re asking for directions or the time.
@cristobocarrin17463 жыл бұрын
So, casual sex is unfulfilling. After all these years, all this activism, all this "sexual revolution" and we end up right at the start: family values and Christian modesty. Amazing.
@SisypheanSeas133 жыл бұрын
Ain't that something?
@brickgraims833 жыл бұрын
THis is bullshit. Only people who say that sex sucks is people that have it. LIsten i have never had it and i want it, so dont come to me and say it is no good. It's like an olympic gold medalist coming at me and saying "yeah it is no deal, i am not so happy" yet he worked to get it. It is very fulfilling, especially if you are very lonely and ugly. THe only people who don't like it are the ones who have a LOT of it.
@edattacks3 жыл бұрын
@@brickgraims83 yep. Something I realised in highschool, only people who said having a girlfriend isn't worth were those who had no problem getting them and stayed getting them lol. Let me EXPERIENCE those things for MYSELF damn. Same deal with how "pusywhipped" I noticed friends, my dad, and other people get when it's put on them. I always wondered "damn, is it THAT good to make them act that way?" My dad would say all these negative things about women whilst being whipped at the same time smh. Still a mystery of how crazy pusy is that make folks act up.
@edattacks3 жыл бұрын
@@brickgraims83 also same with people who like to preach that money mean nothing to them are those who have it in abundance lol. Like haha, yea, must be nice.
@brickgraims833 жыл бұрын
@@respomanify it legalized the drug of sex and deleted love
@Fonzleberry3 жыл бұрын
Also, whilst I agree with Alexander Grace and Jordan Peterson that guys in abundance should eventually choose, it's inherently better to choose from a perspective of abundance than scarcity, as it will a) give you access to higher quality choices and b)tip the relationship dynamic in your favour as you won't be coming from a perspective of neediness.
@NeoZeta3 жыл бұрын
For sure. And also: c) it will aid you in better identifying high quality and distinguishing it from low quality trash.
@danballe3 жыл бұрын
That is a thought I had some time ago, must dating sites and advisors preach / teach that mind set that there are women a plenty. but is is kinda a sham. Hear me out It is on point of what Alex states in this vid (and others of his) the women nowadays wants the 1% of guys so unless you are in that 1 % men top tier, that abundance mentality is skewed and glass half full without making you aware of the whole picture, HOWEVER IF you go into the current dating place with the scarcity mentality you are as you mentioned here, going to come of as needy and low class/game/quality, whatever (be it as it may intentionally or evidently) in your interactions with women, specially nowadays. Prepare for the best and the worst expect either, just stick with the process, do not fall into this dating market "Gaming" and constantly having to keep yourself into this market game. As Alex points out at 8:15.
@JoseDiaz-rd9fh3 жыл бұрын
No they shouldn't at least not marriage through the state. Until men and women can pre negotiate their own marriage contract as real equals it should be avoided. Having to maintain her life style upon separation even though you now have two residences? This is why so many men end up living in their cars upon divorce they get financially raped
@NeoZeta3 жыл бұрын
@@JoseDiaz-rd9fh I haven't seen him mentioning marriage, so I'm not sure I understand this reply. I always operate on a non-marriage basis, unless it's specifically stated about marriage. Because marriages nowadays simply aren't viable. I'm assuming he means any sort of LTR.
@Lo-to7zh3 жыл бұрын
So true
@GeneralProfessor3 жыл бұрын
Pickup "artists" selling the player lifestyle are like feminists, both are crabs stuck in a misery bucket and both are trying their hardest to keep everyone else with them.
@-whackd3 жыл бұрын
Nah, its fun to date multiple women. They sell their courses for money, not to make people miserable. The customers are not paying for misery, but results.
@ashishkaushik17903 жыл бұрын
Beckett Absolutely true 👍 !!
@SVAdAstra3 жыл бұрын
You are right on, Alexander. I once "had it all." I was a cameraman, technical director, and field producer over a ten-year career at a Hollywood studio. I had the Porsche, the high performance airplane waiting for me at Burbank airport, the house in Laurel Canyon surrounded by the rich and famous with a view as far as Catalina Island. I used to only have to walk into the Roxy or the Troubadour nightclubs and women would just clong onto me. I was the quintessential Player. I knew the game, and I played it well. I exceeded Casanova's body count. And you know what? It was boring, empty, and vacant. There was no fulfillment in it. And how much of an achievement is it really when a woman says: "Gee. You have a really nice car/airplane/house"? Those are just things. And here's a shock: so are you -- a sex toy that doesn't need batteries. I came to realize that, instead of me notching my belt -- I WAS the notch in women's belt. What finally turned me around? A woman, who I was starting to get close to, telling me: "It's been fun but I can't see you anymore... because I'm getting married." That happened with more than one woman. "OK." I thought. "So that's what it means to be an Alpha." Brothers, don't bother going there, and never envy anyone who has put energy and resources into getting there. It ain't worth it. It's a false destination.
@trippmoore2 жыл бұрын
You still kept the car and the house though, right?
@SVAdAstra2 жыл бұрын
@@trippmoore Yes. I was smart enough to not get married!
@tonim.94602 жыл бұрын
@@SVAdAstra In another comment you wrote, that you have an ex-wife.
@SVAdAstra2 жыл бұрын
@@tonim.9460 Correct. I was married and divorced prior to moving to California.
@tochukwuifeanacho38432 жыл бұрын
Bro just go and get a son via surrogacy and you will see how fufilled you will be.
@SixtyCobalt3 жыл бұрын
"Do not stay in the plane!" - Dude, I'm not even able to board the plane.
@GraveRave3 жыл бұрын
Lol I hear that 😂
@blackincelspeaks36633 жыл бұрын
Exactly we have no choice either way
@gotchu11643 жыл бұрын
Swim my friend. Be like water 🤣
@palnagok17207 ай бұрын
Take the bus
@chrisk12552 жыл бұрын
There's a very simple answer to all of this. Get off social media. Delete your FB account. Get off tinder and IG. They're garbage, fake, and do not portray life as it is. Great video and message.
@ola...o10093 жыл бұрын
I totally agree. It’s like a shopping mall for them & an interview for men. We simply have to level up physically, financially & mentally. Then beat them in their own game by reversing it. Also have an abundant mindset like they do even though most of them ain’t sh*t
@JamalW2393 жыл бұрын
You can only have an abundance mindset if you have abundance. An undesirable man cannot get abundance
@0bsmith03 жыл бұрын
@@JamalW239 If only there was abundance. Most guys just have no standards.
@JamalW2393 жыл бұрын
@@0bsmith0 imagine if guys only slept with and gave attention to women they would be willing to be in a relationship with. The women would be brought back down earth real quick
@blackincelspeaks36633 жыл бұрын
@@JamalW239 based and high IQ. Relationship attractiveness and I would sleep with you attractiveness are not always the same thing.
@quill64083 жыл бұрын
@@JamalW239 You can have an abundance mindset even if you don't actually have abundance, you just have to be able and willing to walk away at the first sign of bullshit or when the relationship is more trouble and anxiety than it's worth. Most men stick around for all of the bullshit and drama, and if women see that, they'll walk all over you
@stayanddrown3 жыл бұрын
I've had my fair share of casual sex. I have also had the great fortune of making love. I've only had one woman in my life so far that I have made love with. Unfortunately, we are no longer together. Let me tell you, I would trade all the casual sex in the world to make love again. Once you've made love, casual sex is practically meaningless. Great video Alex!
@Genevasplaytime Жыл бұрын
There's always people who need to tell us how amazing they are. Dude there are many comments like yours
@AnthonyManzio2 ай бұрын
@@Genevasplaytime More and more couples are having 3 some and are swinging too. Never ever get married, the grass is never greener on the other side. Lots of sexless marriages.
@nickf93923 жыл бұрын
Best part is even if you "win"....you still lose in the end. Thousands of married and divorced men will be more than happy to share their horror stories with you.
@naveenkumar-xc4cb3 жыл бұрын
A quality woman is a myth in today's time, now we are calling women who act in the right way high quality women? that's how every women should act, I don't know any high quality women exposing/educating low quality women and fighting for men{maybe 1 or 2 exists}, making the world a better place and I bet even Alexander himself can't find one for himself, one day he will get divorced and admit that he was wrong.
@thomaschicino72573 жыл бұрын
True
@JohnLannholm3 жыл бұрын
5:45, "Get a girlfriend..." "Have a happy life...." In my experience, these two things did not go together. It's unbelievable how much more peaceful my life has been since I became single and started establishing boundaries with the opposite sex (and also boundaries with the pathetic men that enable abusive behavior in women). Happiness is an inside job.
@FirstLast-gk6lg3 жыл бұрын
Facts. I have been in both great LTR with high quality women, and also been seeing 10 women a week. And frankly I would rather be alone and just occasionally date, I almost always enjoy solitude more than company.
@searchrankoptimize2 жыл бұрын
@@FirstLast-gk6lg your mbti type? Also are you a loner.? Or introvert?
@FirstLast-gk6lg2 жыл бұрын
@@searchrankoptimize idk what mtbi means. And definitely loner and introvert. I am extremely content alone and essentially 100% of what i need from a women is physical release
@ezr1682 жыл бұрын
Amen
@francisvoyer Жыл бұрын
Depends who you are with really, I've been on both sides of the spectrum. One where I thought it would be forever, living the dream and unfortunately it ended because of circumstances. There was also this other relationship where she was so toxic because of past trauma that I left because I was becoming a monster I never thought I'd be able to become and I didn't want anything bad to happen. Love is double edged sword, it can be the most beautiful feeling or the most damaging one, depending on the partner you have. Now I'm stuck in the dating market and I've been thinking about leaving it. I've got projects so women are only distractions at this point, but at the same time I would like to feel again, the type of love the first LTR I described in my comment provided me with. These girls are rare nowadays, sadly... One in a million kind of girl.
@chillinginarea513 жыл бұрын
Tbh finding a high quality woman isn't a walk in the park. Most men actually want high quality relationships but it's really hard to find one.
@naveenkumar-xc4cb3 жыл бұрын
A video of you interviewing your successful couple friends would bring a lot of light, I myself haven't seen a guy truly happy in a relationship even though they have been in it their whole life.
@naveenkumar-xc4cb3 жыл бұрын
@Censored CensoredTrue, relationships only work if the girl wants it to work and not the other way around, any girl can lie and make it look like a perfect relationship, every guy needs to get red pilled before even trying to salvage or get into a relationship.
@patricksquinlan13 жыл бұрын
Agreed. I'm 50 years old. I've known hundreds of people in my life. The number of truly happy long-term relationships I've come across is probably under ten. Off the top of my head, I can think of three happy-ish relationships where it was two genuinely nice people together. I can think of a couple others where it was two raging a**holes who worked as a team. Beyond that, it's a desert. Many people stay in miserable relationships for a long time.
@naveenkumar-xc4cb3 жыл бұрын
@@patricksquinlan1 Men educating men is what's gonna save men. Amen.
@quill64083 жыл бұрын
@@patricksquinlan1 I agree with that sentiment and I've found that in my own experience as well, but with that information, what are we supposed to do? given modern relationships are absolutely hopeless and modern dating is an irradiated hellfield. just give up on it completely?
@FirstLast-gk6lg3 жыл бұрын
@@patricksquinlan1 Facts, I am the same. Known men all around the world from all different cultures and couple dynamics, and yet 100% of them have told me not to get married. Even the ones who do actually like their wives(rare) even them tell me, stay single unless you want kids.
@Deheader3 жыл бұрын
Wow that term sexual debt is incredible. I sabotaged my last two serious relationships for that very reason and I never understood why I have this feeling. Thank you, now I can work on healing it ❤
@garethholman10503 жыл бұрын
The measure of a man isn't the number of notches on their bed, it's honour, duty and integrity. Being a strong, dependable and respectful person that serves as a role model for others to follow and as an example to his family.
Hi Alexander, great video and your channel is a genuine resource for men, a rare jewel among the dirt of KZbin. You are offering sound and mature advice for young men. I am a 51 year old guy now taking a time out of long term relationships, to heal after a bad divorce. I still get a lot of value from your channel and have recommended it to my son who is 20 years. Keep up the good work.
@masonmiller4969 Жыл бұрын
This guy is a genius. His advice is always spot on. Alexander, keep doing what you do!
@JJ-wi2uw3 жыл бұрын
Part of the problem is that the proportion of "high quality" dateable women who are partner/marriage material these days is freaking TINY.
@JoseDiaz-rd9fh3 жыл бұрын
So very true honesty we just need a reset as this is not sustainable anyways. If it wasn't for the lies of omission from our churches, cultural institutions and mainstream media men would have woken up long ago but no... Go on plow horse. Alternative media finally giving us the brutal truth but it's still better than a pretty lie
@robbenvanpersie15623 жыл бұрын
@@JoseDiaz-rd9fh war for RESET?
@JoseDiaz-rd9fh3 жыл бұрын
@@robbenvanpersie1562 it doesn't necessarily need to be a war. All it takes is men in meaningful numbers not committing and investing in women. Kinda like the herbivore men in Japan.
@arctyphon20233 жыл бұрын
I haven't watched your videos in approx 6 months. There definitely is a more aggressive approach than when I was here last.
@Ben-qi2rc3 жыл бұрын
I think so too, it feels more bitter now compared to more "analytical" videos of articles and such
@prens40493 жыл бұрын
He got blackpilled
@JJ-wi2uw3 жыл бұрын
@@prens4049 He woke up to reality and the toxicity of modern, overly entitled women.
@scoobie95243 жыл бұрын
Facts. I became a so called chad by working hard in gym and self improvement just to see how shallow and empty girls that chased me were and sex became very unsatysfying.
@v2xerxes5803 жыл бұрын
There Always a chad who chadder
@prajwalsharma58773 жыл бұрын
@@v2xerxes580 😂😂
@agnjunio3 жыл бұрын
But what you are ignoring is that you now have an edge over the average guy in terms of options. Use this to get the best you can, then keep the chadiness with the chosen one so se keeps chasing you and getting on your program. This will lead you to a happy LTR.
@mrlong62673 жыл бұрын
You just need to be a “chad” in a few other countries and life would be more satisfying
@FirstLast-gk6lg3 жыл бұрын
@@agnjunio Facts! And Alex doesn't acknowledge this. The Chd not only finds and gets a higher quality women. But he keeps her, women are loyal when they feel like they don't have a complete hold over their man. When they feel that their man could get another girl as good or better than them, THEN they make the best partners. Alex is describing a Beta dude with no experience or prospects, if this guy gets married it will be to whatever chick looks his way and he will likely not be valued or treated well in the relationship.
@DnosSFS3 жыл бұрын
3 years single, first 2 years went for the abundance route. Dropped my standards just to get my end off often, every time after i felt like an empty shell off a man. Friend circle with their dysfunctional long term relationships are all jealous can't understand me when I say there is nothing to be jealous of. This year, started looking for high value woman again. Dating sucks it really does. But I also need to work on myself hence why I'm here. Thanks for your videos
@Alexandratheberge3 жыл бұрын
Womanizing is great at 20 yrs old when all you can think about is sex but after 30 yrs old you do feel empty
@-whackd3 жыл бұрын
So you're saying as part of an abundance mentality, you shagged a bunch of uggos and fatties.
@robbenvanpersie15623 жыл бұрын
@@Alexandratheberge yep and women above 30 feel Worse
@Alexandratheberge3 жыл бұрын
@@robbenvanpersie1562 doesnt seem to affect Leonardo decaprio though!
@insearchofveracity23043 жыл бұрын
I never really had that phase of just sleeping around (34 years old now). Don’t feel jealous, but small piece of me feels like I missed out. Even in my 20’s I enjoyed how my life was going and the thought of contracting and std or knocking up some girl I wasn’t in love with caused me so much anxiety that I just never gave into those temp stations if sleeping around. I think everyone is different.
@cosmicprison98193 жыл бұрын
I said it before, I'll say it again: There is gold at the end of the rainbow - fool's gold. 😊
@sethaldrich69023 жыл бұрын
LOL, been my experience too.
@alb123456723 жыл бұрын
@@sethaldrich6902 Or a gold digger :lol:
@doomguy90493 жыл бұрын
If you aren't the gold at the end of someone else's rainbow you aren't likely to find any for yourself.
@hugostiglitz23883 жыл бұрын
Something has to suck in a relationship.
@cosmicprison98193 жыл бұрын
@@doomguy9049 That’s true - however, that is only a necessary criterion; not a sufficient one. 🤓
@brianmckenzie24853 жыл бұрын
The only thing tougher than finding a good girl -finding an happy successful long term married couple. I know of *NONE* ALL of my friends got divorced - they ALL got drug though the divorce mill - they all had BS fabricated about them. Marriage in America - is simply not worth it. I grew up long ago - I saw the lies for what they were early.
@ltmoods41823 жыл бұрын
Lucky, keep living in peace.
@alb123456723 жыл бұрын
I agree it is a facade. Especially social media. Every happy picture is like the happy clown who takes off his makeup and cries.
@raytracer57263 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I pretty much gave up on the idea of marriage. As a man, there is just so much you have to bring to the table, you give up all your freedom, you put in all the effort, you get all the risk, but you get no guarantees and not very much out of it. I haven't met a single happy family in my life.
@kenscott96563 жыл бұрын
only way to win is not care about having a women in your life. only then do you find the right women
@Thonderal3 жыл бұрын
This almost sound like if you have hope
@naveenkumar-xc4cb3 жыл бұрын
Modern women are only worth staying away from.
@senister143 жыл бұрын
Same with a job.
@kenscott96563 жыл бұрын
@@senister14 isnt that so true lol
@AnthonyManzio2 ай бұрын
all bs 55 here
@JohnnyWhitfield3 жыл бұрын
So much truth in this - the sexual debt feeling, the emptiness in casual encounters, the feeling of having missed out, and desire for a deep relationship.
@lee78283 жыл бұрын
Dating women does NOT suck. It’s great; you meet some wonderful beautiful and amazing people. The key is to not have expectations. Be willing to let go. DO NOT expect anything to last forever.
@2WheelsForever3 жыл бұрын
Excellent. You are wise far beyond your years ...you've surpassed these other guys who just CHOOSE to dwell and inhabit a place of anger, frustration and self perpetuating victimization. You are 2.0 and I applaud you,bro
@areoheses38853 жыл бұрын
This talk is 10/10. Once again Alexander spitting facts like normal.
@evilmaplesyrup50783 жыл бұрын
Love doesn't exist in relationships, it is a business transaction. She gets: money, resources, protection and leadership. He gets: sex, food, kids and companionship.
@m.g.63943 жыл бұрын
Love does exist. Love is the good feeling both sides get to feel when there is chemistry, and love is the feeling of happiness both sides feel when there is genuine physical/personal attraction. Relationships are about love. What is love? Love is 2 things: first it's a good feeling an emotion, but second it's an action (the action of giving to fulfill each other's needs) Relationships are about love (the emotion) and love (the act of giving) to fulfill each other's needs. Women are meant to receive affection, security and protection. Men are meant to receive sexual intimacy and good companionship. Love so real, we just don't understand it.
@CalculusDaddy3 жыл бұрын
This is like one of those no gambling PSAs, most guys know that "most guys" will have a bad experience, but each of them feel like they are special and aren't going to suffer the fate of the "average" person. Oh how wrong they (well at least most of them) are.
@avalanche91423 жыл бұрын
Men who have succeeded in relationships; umm let's see Jeff Bezos , Bill Gates, Dr. Dre, Will Smith, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Prince Harry, ....
@asheikh77753 жыл бұрын
Much needed perspective in this sphere. Pick up is an art but maybe just as much emphasis is needed on dropping off girls ( ie leaving them better off when you leave them if you only dated casually ). For a man to maintain a healthy relationship with one girl we'r taught you should first get good with many girls and have abundance. But won't plate spinning/casual dating in the first place before settling down ruin the very society you want to bring your children into with that one special girl. Its a moral dilemma. When you know casual dating isn't good for women ie their pair bonding ability, but you also know that you need abundance and know how on women's nature in todays unregulated dating market to even maintain a relationship, what does one do?
@malikwilson73873 жыл бұрын
Why are yall alwys complaing
@MsSomeonenew3 жыл бұрын
I'd say most of the problems lie in people creating robotic rules for monkey brains, thinking we can mechanically solve our animal nature. The only natural way I can see is socializing in general and spending more time with people that fit, rather then dating apps and trying to force some prescribed winning numbers.
@sergi16843 жыл бұрын
By watching your videos I realized I am with a fantastic woman. Not only that, it encourages me to improve every day in being a better person for myself, and indirectly it also benefits the woman I love, making our relationship a lot better that it was`. I cannot thank you enough for this.
@bluefate21593 жыл бұрын
how do i find a woman like yours?
@iurk0_streaming2 жыл бұрын
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
@miryanski2 жыл бұрын
I have to say that I agree one hundred percent. After divorcing at 29, the reality of the dating market hit me like a train. Over 13 years later, I have completely checked out and no longer dating.
@Stephen-bq4nq3 жыл бұрын
Great video Alexander not enough men speak about things like this. It's suprising how many Chads I have spoken to who told me how empty they felt living the promiscuous life and they walked away from it.
@insearchofveracity23043 жыл бұрын
I haven’t lived that life, and part of me wonders what it would be like. Just for my own experience. Even if I only slept with two three more girls. I’m 34 and wish I just gotten this out of my system a decade ago.
@Stephen-bq4nq3 жыл бұрын
@@insearchofveracity2304 go do it if it's messing with you at 34 you're still young enough
@ziphezinhleziphozonke29373 жыл бұрын
This video is very informative to me as a young guy. This wisdom will help sharp my way of thought and has helped me to be more self aware. Thanks
@lofttm9692 жыл бұрын
Can confirm that a life of abundance when it comes to shallow relationships is like getting addicted to a drug and then developing a tolerance. It feels great everytime you get the first hit of the day, but when you’re withdrawing because there isn’t a single woman in your life that genuinely cares for you, it’s way worse than being confidently single.
@birdtj822 жыл бұрын
completely agree. ALL MY hardest party friends female/male both side when they used to brag "yay56 weeks Clubing straight", now they msg me "so appreciate my wife doing it day after day for me. I feel embarased for being so arrogant n immature". The happiest dudes these days i know r the ones didnt get the 'idea of play boy as happy guy" stuck , they plug them out n realize the happiness is within reach its just up to them if they want it.
@retheisen Жыл бұрын
The plane analogy was chef's kiss.
@diamondback20853 жыл бұрын
I'm a father of four. 3 girls and one boy. Needless to say I'm here for them not myself and Alexander is 100% correct in this vid. My daughters know I can(correctly or not) fix any problem they have. My son has already told me he wants to be just like me. For all the bullshit and trappings that come with marriage I would not trade it for anything. They are my world reason pride of my life. My wife is not a best friend.... She is my life long responsibility and foundation. She's given me purpose outside of myself for my life. With that said choose a high quality woman. If you go the shallow route you will get burned.
@VirideSoryuLangley2 жыл бұрын
Every man thinks his wife is "his world" and that she's "given him purpose". But most of the time, he's just deluding himself. Half of marriages end in divorce, usually initiated by the wife. And men lose everything in a divorce: their house, their kids, their money. Hopefully this doesn't happen to you, but you should be mentally prepared for it, otherwise you won't be able to deal with it.
@Tyler_W Жыл бұрын
@@VirideSoryuLangley that's usually because people don't exercise good moral judgment in partner selection, and because either the family and friends don't hold them accountable like they're supposed to (that's literally the whole point of marriage ceremonies having witnesses) or not having other people actively involved in their life and wanting what's best for them (lack of community).
@tangobear3536 Жыл бұрын
@@VirideSoryuLangley I think diamondback is fine without adopting a cynical, paranoid approach. Sounds like he's got his act together and is quite happy.
@josetheman2393 жыл бұрын
Sexual debt is one thing and leaving a relationship to go address that is okay but to make children and then go out pay your sexual debt is unacceptable. It's extremely selfish and evil and this is worsened by the fact that this guy is making himself up to be the victim of all this. We need to be consistent and judge men like this the same way that we would judge a women who leaves her family for other other men.
@JstJaybeingJay3 жыл бұрын
I cannot agree more. Leaving a perfect life, wife, children....Its just too sad. Atleast he could've had a side fling, not saying thats ok either, is even more selfish but as long as nobody found out. Atleast his kids wouldn't suffer.
@farmerbrown843 жыл бұрын
Women do it a lot as well - I know of several who were sure that they had "settled too soon" and wanted to "explore their sexuality." Quite a few started affairs (and not by accident, they schemed and plotted to get an affair going with a man they had identified).
@josetheman2393 жыл бұрын
@@JstJaybeingJay My issue is with the sympathy that he treats this man with whereas he is often very harsh when talking about women who do the exact same thing.
@josetheman2393 жыл бұрын
@@farmerbrown84 That's not the point the point is that when a woman does this she is labelled 'low value' but when this guy does it Alex makes excuses for him.
@malikwilson73873 жыл бұрын
@@josetheman239 I'm confused why are you guys complaining about women
@sinetembaquza86303 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Alexander, you have spoken to one of my biggest insecurities. I used to think that my lack of high numbers meant that I was a failure with women and a failure as a man. Hanging out with the wrong crowds of guys who chased P* week in week out messed me up. I have messed up good relationships with good women in the pursuit of a hi body count. I know see it was the biggest waist of my time in my life. Time I will never get back!!! I have rookie numbers to my friends but I am the happiest out of all of them since I have changed. I only have a body count of 17, but to get to that number, i had to stoop down way to many times and would be ashamed to even be associated with these woman. Thank goodness I stopped, or I would have continued sleeping with women I would never give the time or day to because they are not people I value. Thanks again Alexander, appreciate all that you do for us men. keep up the good work.
@prajwalsharma58773 жыл бұрын
17. Your body count is higher than 90 percent of guys.
@ats46703 жыл бұрын
I can see how it would be degrading to your self-esteem to sleep with women you don’t value.
@tansent3 жыл бұрын
The law in some country, like the US, is heavily biased against men. Plus the overall current dating atmosphere. Both of these incentivize women to be entitled. I wonder how much percentage of the "high quality" women do you think are there. Who is intelligent, reciprocate your contribution, don't "play" around, cooperative even without considering their age and look.
@whittakerwinstanleyiii40513 жыл бұрын
I agree. Feminism changed society to suit only women’s needs. We need more balance back in society. Young Men need more from society than they are getting.
@robbenvanpersie15623 жыл бұрын
@@whittakerwinstanleyiii4051 time will change
@nadersefidabi55863 жыл бұрын
As a divorced man I attest that my married years were my most successful, fulfilling and happiest years of my life, despite the debt that he's talking about. Video right on point.
@lpslancelot053 жыл бұрын
My experience was the opposite
@alexgarzon47643 жыл бұрын
I respect each one of your videos but this one is one of my favorites. Thank you for bringing clarity to many of us.
@prince2236813 жыл бұрын
The only way to win is to leave them alone
@HappyGirl7072 жыл бұрын
Great advice! My ex-husband didn't understand self awareness and he left his family for a young "hot thing" and that only lasted 1 year. Meanwhile he destroyed his family unit.
@jemacofra2 жыл бұрын
Because he 10 years before, suffered to be neglected by these kind of beauties? Women don't know what young women do with youndg man's idealism. Work hypothesis.
@HappyGirl7072 жыл бұрын
@@jemacofra yes, you're right. My ex was very idealistic. He has since also left his second wife!
@tonioene22622 жыл бұрын
That's disappointing. I wish you the best. 👍🙌
@paulcooper57483 жыл бұрын
Juice just aint worth the squeeze anymore.
@malikwilson73873 жыл бұрын
What died that mean sound like you complaining
@paulcooper57483 жыл бұрын
@@malikwilson7387 What.?
@TheMeticulousMoo3 жыл бұрын
Beautiful analogy
@PolitischeImmunität3 жыл бұрын
Alexander this is the most on point video i've ever seen of anyone giving social dynamics tips by far! I'd consider myself kind of a traditional guy and felt completly lost on the dating market. I wrecked my first relationship by beeing too sexually needy. I wrecked my second relationship because of that too. It even explains my fathers decisions breaking up with my mother. Both of my relationships had a lot of potential. And in the long run I don't want to "support" this in my opinion absoluty destroyed/sick dating market of the modern world. It just explains so much I needed to understand that I feel actual relief at the moment. So thanks a lot for this very intense and deep content! :)
@kekethetoad Жыл бұрын
High quality women DO have one night stands, but only with CHAD.
@fromgermany271 Жыл бұрын
High quality women understand that they are tricked by the only one who benefits and that’s Chad. And that also the name of the real trash in the game. And the evidence is the pool of 35y old women wanting to settle because Chad is now abusing the next generation. Just last weekend I told my 2y grandson that the oven running at 200C is hot. He looked at me like the Chad chasers look at this video and tried out. He learned something he will remember. (I took care it only hurt but was not dangerous). How many Chads are needed to find out counting d.cks is not mentally healthy?
@kekethetoad Жыл бұрын
@@fromgermany271 the key is that it was your grandson. The number of chad d.cks needed to be counted is infinitely high for the very same reason that guardians generally don't put their grandaughters through that same oven lesson - they instinctively know that such lessons are futile on little girls because they instead operate on intense instinctual fear and avoidance. Also, because females are not expected to navigate the world in such way.
@bastardferret8693 жыл бұрын
4:30 "casual sex is not the key to happiness." But neither is having a wife who has had a lot of it.
@UmarFarooq-mp3iw2 жыл бұрын
Let me tell you guys. I got rejected by my childhood sweetheart I obsessed over for years. This happened in my teens. The next ten years I worked extremely hard physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. I was able to snag 10s at high end bars. Girls made it easy for me. Girls threw at me. But it was all bullshit. There's always another guy around the corner who is dazzling. There's always a new flavour, new spice. I found true happiness after I avoided women.
@jaden4953 жыл бұрын
Thank you Alexander, changed my whole view point on dating. Find a high value woman/girlfriend then get out of the game and true happiness can be found.
@thebravespirit4393 жыл бұрын
your the GOAT of relationship advice for men in the internet , god bless u alexander 🙏
@Alexandratheberge3 жыл бұрын
One thing missing here those dating coachs and PUA can help you get that special person
@lamalien22763 жыл бұрын
@@Alexandratheberge Do you really want to resort to using narcissistic manipulation tactics to get a partner?
@Alexandratheberge3 жыл бұрын
@@lamalien2276 No and i am certainly not talking about manipulating anybody!
@MoosTrenko3 жыл бұрын
But this is all for people who feel like they need a relationship to be happy. What if you are happy being alone?
@psluxton3 жыл бұрын
Then live happily! And if a partner just happens to come into your life, you aren't dependent on them and you have no false preconceptions (expectations) that the partner has to live up to. See where it goes... or not. It's up to YOU - the greatest form of freedom. 👍
@whenpigsfly81783 жыл бұрын
If you're happy being alone, then there is no problem, obviously.
@whenpigsfly81783 жыл бұрын
@@s.m.g.2391 " fine with being alone and happy, but a little bit of hope would" This sounds like a contradiction.. I guess you're mostly fine with it, but far from desirous of it in the long term.
@JPKelly-xr7tr3 жыл бұрын
This. Once you realize that being alone is liberating and incredibly peaceful your self confidence rises exponentially. This takes work: working on yourself. Working on your health, financial stability and mental acumen.
@brittybee66153 жыл бұрын
Yeah people are allowed to have an intended audience that doesn’t include everyone.
@davidbatlle60193 жыл бұрын
Sexual debt is real. I lost the love of my life because of it. I went on to satisfy that debt and slept with a lot of women, but I would give all that up to have her back. And that will never happen.
@incogneato67253 жыл бұрын
I've been married over 30 years to a fantastic woman. Marrying her was the best thing I ever did. I would never want to go back to being single.
@MevrjannahHirzallah11 ай бұрын
What makes her fantastic and why do you love her so much i like to know
@get_spanked2403 жыл бұрын
This video was a really good one Alexander 👍🏻. Based and balanced views. The ironic part is that “players” like fresh and fit will tell women that their body counts make them less valuable on the market (which imho is true), yet they themselves have no real relationships and their body counts are high. Its interesting that they leave out the bad side of casual sex for both genders as studies show, a higher body count increases ur chance of divorce exponentially.
@marcooos98743 жыл бұрын
It sucks so much. Better to be single and save your money.
@Frost-yw9sz3 жыл бұрын
10/10 can confirm lol, sex in a loving relationship beats casual sex in anytime. The rest gets boring real fast.
@Jaredathens56783 жыл бұрын
When you get loved proper, you don’t want anything else.
@MeTheRareBird3 жыл бұрын
sharing your perspective with the Internet has helped me a lot. truly unique way to tell the truth.
@lordtomosdecree3 жыл бұрын
10 plus years since the last time I dated or even been physical with a woman. At this point in my life all I'm doing is floating through the years
@TimXMan10003 жыл бұрын
Are you content my friend?
@stefbaws2 жыл бұрын
Semen retention?
@Santana_Art3 жыл бұрын
I’ve been watching your videos for years and even subscribed to your Patreon for a number of months. I gotta say this is one of your best videos. Thank you 🙏
@DeDignity3 жыл бұрын
I think it's easier to become a 'player' on the dating market, than to find a high quality woman for a relationship nowadays. And if you don't have the option to be a player if you wanted to, it's also unlikely that a high quality woman will select you for a relationship. Woman want a guy that has A LOT of options, but chooses not to use them, but instead picks her. When you have a guy that isn't doing well at all in the dating market, aka most guys, you will find that he is going to try and settle for the first 'somewhat okayish' girl that gives an interest into him. And that girl also likely has a similar mindset of 'mehh this guy isn't as good-looking or rich as I wanted to, but I am tired of the dating market, let's just see where this goes'. Another issue is that most guys 'on the dating market' aren't even actually on the dating market. Those 2 dates they have per month with girls they had to basically convince to go out with them? Yeah that's not really being on the dating market. That is called fighting for scraps.
@melenico45123 жыл бұрын
In reality as you get older post 40 etc just the scraps are left anyway. Finding a high quality mentally sound women that is available and into you less 1-5% if that.
@PCMAXGAMEPLAY Жыл бұрын
I ve never heard something as good as this, really well said !
@mrlong62673 жыл бұрын
Thanks bro. I’m already living the dream with a hot wife who can cook, 2 beautiful children, house and 4 cars....I’m 100% satisfied and blessed. Would never ever go back to the dating world. I appreciate you spreading the message to happiness!
@lpslancelot053 жыл бұрын
Good for you bro! Keep giving it everything you’ve got. Keep in mind, women generally need more space than men in order to get turned on. Use that, live a robust life.
@laStar972chuck3 жыл бұрын
Bruh, this 23min video was EYE-OPENING, wow ! Thanks for adressing such critical yet underrated topic, I didnt even know about it and to what extent it affected men's life
@guyatwork55273 жыл бұрын
I don’t really date. But the last place I worked at had people that made guys feel so judged.
@guyatwork55273 жыл бұрын
@Kang The Conqueror yup. Keep away from when they’re feeling hostile.
@kirkfernandez90673 жыл бұрын
What's really fulfilling is being genuinely loved, whether it's in a committed relationship or a casual one.
@jasonpauldegraaf3 жыл бұрын
Can modern Western women DO that?
@The-Man-On-The-Mountain3 жыл бұрын
By the way, I recently learned that if we skip the ads, you don't get any money. I won't skip the ads in your videos from now on. I didn't know that it worked that way.
@MrRocksW3 жыл бұрын
It's only fractions of a penny. Sign up for his patreon, I bit the bullet a few months ago and no regrets
@jimisparx69532 жыл бұрын
I like this advice over Alexander's usual take of "holding out for a quality woman". Quality women are rare and have their pick of any man, so how does it make any sense for a regular average dude to hold out for them? If you're average or below average and male, dating is definitely a losing proposition. Save yourself a lot of time and heartache and just cut bait on the dating.
@KoreansiLy2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for allowing me to trust that women are on the same side as men striving for the same goal. I started to believe that all women are out to get men. I've observed how some women believe that all men are out to get women and I thought that was ridiculous then I realized I was doing the same.
@terrysalt3 жыл бұрын
The plane analogy was really good. It's a really simple way to conceptualise the point being made.
@Alan012 жыл бұрын
Married guy here... 25 years and very happy. But hell for 10 years and nearly divorced until i learned RP and applied to my marriage. My initial choice was quality, but I became fat and more and more beta after the kids were born. RP + quality + wisdom and confidence that comes with age. Still going to the gym. Going in a few mins. Never stop working out. Never stop improving yourself. That is the first place to start.
@patrickmcfly3264 Жыл бұрын
Why was it nearly divorce? 25 years marriage is an accomplishment even 10 years, assuming you have a 100% faithful women that never stepped out in all those years, and you wife didn't weaponize affection or children, or gaslight abuse.
@MiguelGonzalez-sp6cq3 жыл бұрын
Exceptional video. I can´t express enough how much your videos help me to understand certaing things even about myself. Thank you so much Alexander.
@judge8313 жыл бұрын
I've never been into casual sex. It always seemed too gross and risky. I never wanted to do hookups, even after delving into PUA. All I got from that experience was, women aren't worth it. Stay single and free, my friends.
@insearchofveracity23043 жыл бұрын
That’s how I felt too. It caused me too much anxiety thinking of contracting irreversible std or knocking up a woman I hardly know. Guess my anxiety helped in these types of situations ha
@christinemurray14442 жыл бұрын
This is the experience of many women as well. For a lot of women it only takes to look halfway healthy to have many options for sex. It's not a very attractive proposition in most contexts.
@OnderHassan3 жыл бұрын
Even if you worked hard to be in the top 2%. You are not going to avoid the high probability of getting your life totally destroyed by an unfair gynocentric system backed by the government. Your happiness comes from you and only you. So seek excellence for your own happiness.