How To Know Your Relationship Isn't Over Yet?

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[@swapnasapien.7347]

After around 2 weeks of no contact, my super dismissive avoidant called me right now. We had a very casual talk as if nothing had happened. He told he remembered me after getting drunk. The stone wall melted. I feel really better now. I m not going to be any clingy. I will give him space. I hope we will have a better connection.❤

[@marisastrupp7170]

was it just out of the blue? we're you so surprised?

[@paugarciabcn]

Oh man comments like this give me hope. We went through the push pull anxious/avoidant phase, then did a month trip where we connected again, but then a 3 month distance relationship broke everything with a call telling me she had doubts and needed space. We will probably break up when she arrives, but I have hopes that after some months of no contact she will regret her decision, on a lonely night after drinking and looking back to our happy memories. I am thinking to give her a love letter with those memories, but dont want to appear manipulative. I just want to be secure now to show here I’ve changed.

[@sidesaddle001]

My my dismissive was also alcoholic

[@Stolzie_v]

„If you’ve been harassing your ex for 6 months I think you can stop watching this video“ 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

[@banistudio2243]

Thank you for all your insight and experience, Alex! I pulled back after my dismissive bf (10 years of push and pull) started acting distant and saying negative feelings and doubt about our future. It was so painful (I’m anxious). I stopped communicating for a couple weeks because I was so stressed out, but he continued random texts every couple days. Finally, he asked to see me (after 2 week break) so I decided to have dinner after the break to chat. And I was so surprised that the break actually made him miss me and wants to be together again. He asked me to trust him and that he sees me as his “last” relationship. However, I am giving distance even though that night made me so happy….mostly because I don’t want to go back to how attached I was feeling. I also want him to see that I am not needy nor pressuring him. Anyways. Thank you again for all your advice. Everything you say was true!! It really helped to understand each other and hopefully a stable and long future for us.

[@amytiffanyhemingway]

You really calm my panic.

[@Sgtgee]

Would be nice to see a video on situational break up due to grievances over a loss of an immediate family member, who felt before they passed that they didn’t see future plans or further progression in the the relationship you had with your partner.

[@161521333456]

Your channel is very good but underrated! Tysm !

[@therealkeinemoniker]

i think i just lost all hope, i didnt harrass her but it did take 6 months to finally give her space.

[@Cornelius1212]

Grreat video Alexis.

[@jadefournelle]

Would be nice if you talk about ; when we see that he wants to give it a second chance , how to bring to the table that a growth from his part will be expected also since we did the work and maybe they are not even aware fully that they have to work on themselve .

[@somaticlive.9935]

Thank you for this very helpful and structured video. Prioritize yourself - that is exactly what I need to learn now! You are very good expert on relationship! We broke up around 2 month ago. It still hurts a lot but I'm visiting therapist, improving all possible areas of my life and not contacting my ex. I still love him and hope that we can be together. Thanks again for your work and support!

[@Growwithgrace101]

I did everything I could to make my ex feel safe and comfortable but he eventually got triggered. I don't know what was true and what was a lie so it would never reconcilable as he would never have difficult conversations. I would not break NC even though a year on my mind still tries to find excuses.

[@henryjohnson655]

My ex is a DA. Im secure but leant AP during it. Plan to reach out to at xmas (will be 2.5 months). Any suggestions on how to sms at xmas whilst leaving it open for a reply?

[@therealmrburnside]

I didnt harras my ex for 6 months. I did however try and giver her space only to be triggered by something i heard from an idiot friend or by something shed post and i'd react sending an emotionally charge email and then immediately regret it. at this point im so confused by her mixed signals and by how things ended I dont know whats possible at this point. she definitely hurt me but im afraid the way i've reacted has ruined any chance i might have had.

[@nameloading..8665]

I don’t understand doing all this work for my DA ex when he gave me nothing, most of the 4 years he kept me at an arm length. Zero intimacy, so why give him so much when I’ll never get 1/4 of it back? Someone please explain.

[@karenwalkersginglass]

Don't do it then. You have to use your own judgment.

[@therealkeinemoniker]

can you please define what "harrassment" is alex? I dont feel like i've harrassed her. she hurt me pretty bad, Ive been trying to get her to listen to me, i havent sent thousands of txt messages, I sent some angry ones out of hurt but its a complicated situation. Ive only just realized all the hurtful things shes said were defense mechanisms that i took personally and shouldnt have..im doing my best to give her a full 30 days before i try and apologize but there has been 6 months of hot and cold messages from time to time from me...where ive tried to validate my own feelings that she kept dismissing while also trying to be empathetic toward her.

[@feralkittieh_]

Alexis, in case you became a daddy, congratulations! If not, well then congratulations on the nice shirt 😅

[@AlexisFriedlander]

Daddy of 2 ;)

[@nabilarahim5911]

Dear Alexis, where would you draw the line between an avoidant has true feelings and real interest or if he is just lovebombing in order to receive attention and reassurance, because he actually feels bad/ insecure/depressed....?

[@CeeP211]

Ahhh but why does the dumper have to change?

[@fabiocosta3306]

The problem is that my ex has an attachment avoidant style and shows big traits of a covert narcissist. She's been contacting every week and then to make plans and then cancels and then posting stories that diminish relationships and men in general when she's the one destroying our previous relationships and problems.

[@fabiocosta3306]

And memories*

[@Bunyip3124]

Sounds like the avoidant attachment is less of a problem than the fact she's toying with you like a cat with a string. People who weaponise their social media to get at others isn't cute. This is not a primary school bitch fest, it's a relationship where she should care how you feel, even at some small minimum now that you're exes.

[@fabiocosta3306]

@@Bunyip3124 I think that's because I went NC and when I tried the first and only time to fix things out she told me she needs to be alone she doesn't feel too adult to be in a relationship (she's 28) and I wished her all the best and that she deserves all the good in the world and I left it at that. I'm not going to pursue anymore or humiliate myself anymore. That doesn't mean that if she wants to talk seriously about the relationship or something that bothers her that I will ignore her but I won't pursue. She dropped a great relationship and her actions are far from perfect so I won't give her any sort of validation. We're not kids anymore

[@fabiocosta3306]

@@Bunyip3124 now she's been posting stuff saying that "sometimes" is great ending great things to have a new great beginning. And that's she's so happy right now. Her post pic and the previous posts say otherwise. Do you know what's she's trying to do?

[@Bunyip3124]

@@fabiocosta3306 she's weaponising her social media to get at you. Simply put, she's playing games. Attention seeking. Trying to get at you and make you feel small. Do you admire a woman like that, is that your definition of a decent woman or a high-value woman?? She wants you to bow down and run after her like a stray dog happy for any scraps thrown it's way. I've never done that. Firstly it's pathetically transparent, and secondly I'm not out to belittle my ex via Instagram. She sounds like a brat. Sure, she might snap out of it and behave herself, but unless she does have a 'come to Jesus moment' she sounds like she's one of those people who thrives on drama and bitchyness. If you let her back into your life, don't let THIS version of her back in your life. She needs to level up or be left in the rear view.

[@paugarciabcn]

What about delivering a final love letter giving thanks and also remembering the good memories? Could it look manipulative? Should I wait a few months to give it?

[@caroliner1901]

I would say no after watching Alexis’s videos. You might trigger a repulsion, or an invasion, even if they are dreaming about you. A letter takes their control and independence away.

[@aliwood7972]

Interesting that the avoidant has left without closure, over their own issues and yet this whole video is about the person who was dumped needing to get help so they can be a better partner for the avoidant. Where is the avoidant needing to get help???

[@koosmangat]

First to like

[@Vyborne]

All of your videos are the same.