Are you SURE you're an INTJ....

[@AlexisKingsley]

Want more INTJ content? Check out my INTJ playlist ➡ kzbin.info/aero/PLo0hph_vdC9OcTIFLyY2Osxc8SbQOtptw

[@toothdecay2465]

I'm an INFP dude and I dated an INTJ woman. We're both MBTI nerds, so when we discovered our respective types, it made us want to pursue things even more. An INFP male is very rare. An INTJ female, also very rare. The likelihood of the pairing, exceedingly rare. She was very interesting and our conversations were next level. She was also funny AF, with a himor style that didn't shy away from the transgressive or dark. Honestly, she made me laugh. I hadn't looked at her cognitive functions, so I wasn't expecting this person who said she loved logic so much to have a rich emotional side. But one day, I was holding her and "What's this? Well, it's Fi. I did not expect encounter you here." She cried and let me hold her some more. I kept it between us and didn't bring it up. She was a successful tech manager with a tough persona. But I got to see another side to her.

[@maniacallyhappy]

I think an important aspect to look at that for INTJ's, it may not have a single thing to do with, "Fear of not being accepted" - most of the time we don't care about other's opinions, but we can be our own biggest critics and before we give ourselves a chance to be seen by anyone else have already scrutinised or own products and made the decision it isn't where we want it to be even though others may think our technical abilities are great. I've had that problem A LOT. It's hard to accept compliments from general public because I am looking to increase my skills and am CRAVING constructive criticism because I don't know what I don't know and need a different perspective to continue to catch blind spots, but the only criticism that I'm getting is, "Oh wow, that looks/tastes/is great!". It doesn't fit my criteria as great and I don't know what to change to achieve my version of great... and it's frustrating. I have completely given up on art and music because I caught myself doing the same thing... over and over and over again, trying to achieve my desired outcome, and receive nothing outside of what comes off as platitudes on opinions that I care about. It's frustrating especially when you run into teachers and professionals who continue to give you sound like they're stroking my ego.

[@chrisulianna1096]

I am the same way. It's like I have "perfected" the theory in my head so that every version of it that makes it to the world is a failure and I hate to fail. I especially hate to fail in front of someone else. So it leads to a loss of momentum. So frustrating.

[@TNord.]

Interesting, as an ENFP, I’m totally opposite, I’m ready to share the rough draft and go from there. I’m never seeking perfection, just wanting to quickly implement an idea. I see your dilemma though, wanting to get honest feedback, I think you should just say “a friend of mine did this painting, I’m not sure I like it!, what do you think? Yeah, it’s deceptive but not malicious. Or ask an ENFP, we enjoy making fun of ourselves and others, so perhaps you could get a more honest assessment of your art or music. My advice is to see painting and music not as the end product but as a process. As a painter myself, I recommend developing a dual approach to creating. For example, I divide the canvas with four lines, starting at the top and proceeding down to the bottom in a random way, intertwining. that’s a starting point and then it can go anywhere from there figurative or abstract but there is coherence to my work that way, it’s almost “process” art, and then I have one-of paintings where I have no formula. To develop spontaneity, instead of starting a painting with a fixed idea just try expressive brushstrokes, or go wild. I do this and if It’s lovely, then I keep it, otherwise I cover over and start the four line painting. It’s a basic strategy that frees you up. As far as whether your art is “good”, I would consider the purpose of creating art. If it’s a way to process your thoughts, and or it’s meditative then that is the purpose alone and getting lost in that way you will find your way in the creative space. Make something you like to look at. Recently I go to thrift stores and buy crappy mass-produced paintings and rescue (paint over) them. Sometimes I keep part of the original composition, but I mostly use it as a cheap frame and canvas. Golden is my favorite brand in bulk for gesso and black gesso. Good luck! Also you might look into 3-string guitars. They’re hella fun to play and you can play power chords with one finger across all three strings as you move up the frets. Basically, you can improve through experimentation, by questioning your ideal, getting feedback. but if it’s your inner vision that you are trying to catch, that’s really every painters dilemma. I’m never “finished” with a painting, never satisfied. But if you can stare at it for weeks, and not want to destroy it, then your on the path. Also leaving a painting and rework later is good advice. I usually have 10-12 paintings unfinished, and I rotate to which ever one inspires me. Some never do. Some canvases are cursed. If you take a linear approach, one at a time, you risk the “cursed canvas” syndrome… and it can stop your interest….

[@howelltitus2875]

This. I used to post art online thinking I could do custom art requests and I would have this collaborative effort with requesters to improve a piece. Instead, I got nothing but, "This is great! I love it, thanks!" and it was a huge waste of time because I feel they weren't interested in improving the piece and just wanted free work. It feels imbalanced because I give feedback that actually pinpoints issues but when I try to rely on friends, they're virtually useless because they tend to be emotional and the more "logical" types only focus on common sense advice. I'm basically tired at this point and just create and try for myself.

[@hightopv1352]

If this isn't describing my current problem with putting my creativity out there, idk what will.

[@messily1456]

It seems like INTJs are such natural coaches/teachers and they're waiting for someone to coach them back. It seems like all the types are craving someone with their same gifts to come into their lives. It's like we're all missing ourselves.

[@roisinnigcrainn7722]

INTJ here. When I was a kid, I never used to understand happy tears/crying at movies. As soon as I reached about 17-18, all that changed (Fi began to develop), and I'm so glad it did - I'm now on a journey to become an actor and playwright, because this media is able to move me in the way most people never could. Whoever says INTJs lack passion and creativity may have _met_ an INTJ, but they've clearly never _known_ one. The "unproductive critic" really is a great description of how I felt in college last year. I was studying law and it felt way too restrictive; there was no room for debate or imagination. It defied my expectations. It didn't allow me to be the Elle Woods character, like I had imagined. In my country (as I'm sure is true for most), the legal system is filled with corrupt, nasty, money-grabbing, self-interested, unjust individuals. My feelings were hurt, and I didn't want to do the work. I became lazy, depressed and I felt worthless. I quit that course a month after I came to this conclusion. I had tried to force myself to continue but it just wasn't working. I'm so proud of myself for making the change. It was terrifying, but simultaneously exhilarating. When I feel depressed, I often turn to Se with food and alcohol. When anxious, I fidget a lot. I've learned to manage stress by going for long walks and exercising in a healthy and controlled mindset and environment. I find walking in nature can really inspire me creatively, and I'm getting into better shape too. I used to sit inside the house all day, cooped up in my own head, to the extent that I didn't feel the need to leave the house because there was so much I was busying myself with internally. I didn't even notice that my environment never changed. I still struggle a lot with personal hygiene, but I'm dead-set on fixing this. You've really assisted me today. You've brought my attention to things I never knew about myself. Thank you.

[@boxy_tocs2035]

Same what u said about the Se Function

[@ryenwthomas]

Same. Around 18, i was suddenly having powerful and emotional connections to films and music. My taste became even more particular.

[@blue-phoenix115]

Just found out I’m INTP. Consensus say INTP and INTJs are a great match but I doubt it.

[@swiftmk5480]

Your Ni analogies are the best I've heard! Going through life with Ni like "a drive you can't remember doing" is sooo relatable. I often feel really disconnected and weirded out by my mind because of this, so it's nice to see that I'm not alone :)

[@DIAvs89]

Ouch, that last segment hit me very hard. I'm wasting my life, I already wasted my youth, my teen years because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of judgement. It kills me to know that I let down so many people. There were so high expectations of me after high school. The teachers, my family, everyone thought I would succed in life and instead I'm just here blaming myself for not being able to do that, watching KZbin videos and Netflix all day. I don't feel capable of stepping out of this comfort zone, I'm only doing things I know I can do right, because I can't accept not being good at something, I can't accept failure. But you're right, if you manage to do that, that's real freedom.

[@wynstansmom829]

The Paradox of Choice, DIAvs89 Once upon a When people spent many hours just trying to survive and reproduce. After survival and reproduction then what Ne-xt? Light a candle in the darkness for others, yes and finding meaning and purpose is not so easy when the choices are so many and the tower of babel is so loud. Have you listened to Malcolm Gladwell? “the tallest oak in the forest is the tallest not just because it grew from the hardiest acorn; it is the tallest also because no other trees blocked its sunlight, the soil around it was deep and rich, no rabbit chewed through its bark as a sapling, and no lumberjack cut it down before it matured. We” ― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success

[@tateorrtot]

Thanks!

[@kindauncool]

Thanks!

[@N0URii]

keep the grind queen

[@emillyazevedo1669]

OMG, THIS IS SO TRUE!!! when i was a little bit younger i used to despise emotions and be more rational, but i was only like this bc i wasn’t very mature. so, i grew up and then i realized how important emotions actually are for our society, and that in fact we need a balance between feeling and thinking, not only thinking as i used to believe (sorry for my english, i’m not a native speaker :/)

[@heibai1173]

I’m not afraid of what people think, I’m afraid of failing. Whole bunch of childhood trauma is the reason for that. I LOVE how you brought up potential, but it’s internalized. That is me to a T and I’ve been brainstorming on how to change that and start living a life that means something.

[@zelluscious]

My father is an INTJ and a mathematician. He doesn't have the need to talk about his thoughts with anyone outside of his work necessarily because he has found his niche in maths and his community is maths and everything else is something he just tolerates. This has become all the more clear when he had a stroke and couldn't continue with his work sadly. He still kept up with staying busy but it was very obvious that it bothered him that he could no longer be involved in his math projects like he had been for 60+ years and his ability to respond to people when they talked to him faded away. He can still talk clearly he just had no motivation to respond to outside stimulus especially when people talked to him. Before the stroke he could follow a conversation for awhile but then there was a cut off point where he would obviously drift off and sometimes he would just get up and leave the room without warning to write down something in his office like on his chalk board about a math problem/theorem he had been working on. What also became obvious after his stroke is how he no longer recognized how to do every day routine stuff like putting on his shoes. He had always been reliant on my mother for a lot of the basics in life but now even more so as he seems to sit and think that everything happens by magic lol... thanks to my mom.

[@dwsvlogs97]

I agree with you 100% my friend. My son believes that I'm an extrovert but the truth is that I'm more so of an introvert. Over time I've had to learn to be an extrovert because of my work and that's what he's noticing. I still grapple with the freedom that extroverts feel as opposed to the Comfort that introversion gives me.

[@Jack_L]

I've been questioning if I'm an INTJ the past few days, but your videos have been reaffirming my belief that I am one. Some reasons I was confused (and why I'm not now): - INTJ's are always presented as very put together, but my space is a mess and I don't care that much (Se grip) - I don't feel very productive, I spend a lot of time consuming content and not much else (Se grip) - I don't make very specific plans - that is a complete lie, I just didn't realize how much I was doing it since I don't make them actionable/take action (Ni/Fi loop and Se grip) - I feel like I have Fe sometimes, I tend to offer my time to listen to other people talk about their emotions and I was good enough at helping people that I nearly went to school to be a clinical psychologist (I definitely have Te though, I love useable information and optimizing systems - ended up with a degree in computer science) - I don't relate with most INTJ's I see in KZbin comment sections or on Reddit, I don't see my flaws as strengths like they do and I see the value in Fe (probably because of my ESFJ sister and INFJ best friend) - I don't relate to most INTJ's I see in KZbin videos that act like they have it all figured out and don't talk about their bad days (I do relate to you though, so thank you for talking about the less healthy behavior we can exhibit)

[@AlexisKingsley]

I'm so glad you related to the video! It took me a long time to finally settle on INTJ.

[@catsonbikes8372]

Hello from the Philippines. Me too. I'm still in the process of confirming (researching/testing) if I really am an INTJ.. been reading all stuffs for "I" types including S types! to see if i can work on from eliminating what type I am not. It always ends up with intj, but im still not that 100% convinced.. no, not that I'm not convinced. Maybe i just need to really find out my purpose, my impact to the world or environment where I belong. I developed my Te when i started working in Tech and until today i really feel fulfilled using my Te in my workplace. But aside from my professional work, I have this "personal" endeavor that's inclined to producing arts, my works are not that artistic tho, maybe cos I'm not like the ISFPs and INFPs but i love doing my arts in the form of something "usable" to people (I design graphic shirts). But more to that, I employ certain themes on my collections which I envision to help a certain community or niche in "intentionally" living to their chosen passion. So on that note, i think I'm using my Te and Fi, but my arts are really not that artistic, so maybe fee people find an impact on it or appreciates it. I'm still on that point where I'm trying to figure it out (just like you when you though you want to make your wall black and improve the microphone and video 😂, so relatable dear!) THANK YOU so much as your videos, i mean YOU are helping us a lot.

[@AlexisKingsley]

@@catsonbikes8372 Thank you so much!!!

[@mocanasuciprian3472]

Just because you often listen to others feelings doesn't mean you have Fe, it means you have feelings, and it means that you care about other's feelings at an individual level

[@Jack_L]

@@mocanasuciprian3472 I know, that's why I still think I'm an INTJ. I was just noticing I regularly exhibit behaviors that are stereotypical of an Fe user. Like I've legitimately had strangers tell me they told me more than they tell there therapist, which is such an INFJ stereotype. On top of that it seems like being an asshole that doesn't care about other people or generally hates other people is an INTJ stereotype, and that's not how I feel at all.

[@BobVisMo]

Intjs after reaching 18 as they develop their Fi, *beat theirselves for having emotions Or maybe just me

[@FantaC.]

Then you try to forgive yourself for having be so hard on yourself even if it was during 10 minutes ( sorry for my bad english)

[@AlexisKingsley]

I've definitely done that before! And that makes the emotions I was having 10x worse! lol

[@claudiapena626]

The worst person who tells you your truths and criticizes you all the time for having feelings, I am myself. (Sorry if it's misspelled. I don't speak english)

[@rubyred186]

I just reached that phase when I was 16 years and now I am 18 years old.... 🙂

[@ElectraTechna55]

this is now happening to me and my realtionship is like a fast track

[@ΆρτεμιςΓεωργοπούλου-τ6υ]

I've watched quite a few "are you really an intj" videos and still wasn't sure. After yours, not only I related almost entirely to what you said, but also gained some insights to how to practically get better to the things I'm lacking the most (Te, Se: staying in the present and perfecting Te). Thank you for the video! Continue the good job! :)

[@AlexisKingsley]

Thank you!!!

[@tony7787]

For a long time, I questioned whether I was an INTJ. Largely because I felt like I lacked direction for my life. Everyone says INTJs are smart, have grand plans and goals for their lives, and they take action instead of procrastinating. I was stuck in a depression loop which convinced me I had mistyped and was an INTP. I only wanted to read and watch YT but couldn't get myself to implement anything. I got a new job which forced me into my Te more and led me to start working out and taking walks Se and man I feel amazing, fulfilled and more purposeful. Until watching this video i couldn't put it into words, I didn't know I was optimising my functions. 💡 light bulb moment I've noticed I do love withdrawing into my Fi but when I draw it out too long, it's easy to slip back into feeling moody, unproductive and depressed. So whenever I have too much time on my hands, activating my Se helps keep my spirits up. Thank you for explaining things so well.

[@xeno4213]

Oh sh, your situation is exactly like mine...

[@user-dead_but_not_the_end]

Same

[@erossutra4064]

Working on my extraverted thinking right now. This is the message I get a lot, "you have a lot of potential but not using it". Thanks for the video.

[@valerievaughn5495]

You make me smile. INTJ here. First got introduced to you through your recent video with LiJo. Happy for the partnership so I could get to know you. Great food for thought on ways for more personal growth. You have a lot going for you on your channel. Kudos and good luck. Will be watching you more!😎

[@AlexisKingsley]

Thanks for stopping by!! Glad to have you :)

[@livingdiystyle]

I love the advice you gave for Intj's at the end of the video, both practical and helpful!

[@AlexisKingsley]

Thank you!!

[@brain0nfire]

I find that building my body can give me confidence. It's not about the aesthetic per se; I, in fact, feel stronger, bigger, which makes me be *more*, literally. Te is a growth point but the problem is finding the way. You can find the way by trail blazing and brute forcing but the reality is that those are not often good alternatives. In many environments there are better improvisers and experiementers than you as a low Se and Ne user. I often see myself as a last resort kind of person - like a wild card for situations where no one takes the lead. I'm the last choice. The problem with INTJs (and their lack of energy) is that there are few roles that we can do which makes us have less 'lines' in the play of life. Energy (unless there is an autonomic problem or some sort of depressive issue) comes from purpose and protagonism. If you position yourself in a way as to fill your quota then you may become energized that way. Another issue with energy can lie on sedentarism. Your muscles atrophie by lack of movement which makes all sort of movement inverse proportionally harder; your heart rate, lung capacity, muscle memory, etc, they all require usage to not lose their edge or to expand their capacity. If you don't play with your body it becomes unhealthy. Whatever the reason INTJs are not natural apt to move they should. I think INTJs get bored easier. People often say Se is a function that is only later developed (and it is) but I for one was a very obsessive soccer player from very young and I was a spaz but as I started loosing my eyesight and wearing glasses I lost interest as well. We INTJs get drunk in tragedy and melancholia. Maybe it coincides that we also undergo more of it but we also pathologically enjoy it. Strangely, I think melancholia drives us as much as it paralyzes us. It makes function in bursts of energy. That overworking is a mix of not wanting to feel guilty and wanting to punish yourself for not being successful - it's also a strategy to not ruminate. As you may have noticed most INTJs have expert verbal skills. Being a cynic introvert with this skill has very little applications. It's too easy to become toxic and even more in your inner thoughts. INTJs are a niche type. It's too megalomaniacal of a type to be useful for society. If I had to guess INTJs naturally dissociate, daydream and retreat to their minds as a product of stress, PTSD and CPTSD.

[@jaftem2x]

12:00 This is very true. As an INTJ its hard to find people who want to talk about things you're also interested in. But not all hope is lost. As an engineer, I've found that I heavily relate with people in STEM and that I can't connect with people who aren't. So for other INTJ's out there, this might be a career path you might want to consider taking. Generally speaking, people in STEM love new ideas that can progress individuals or society, love talking in systems, love talking in data, love talking in terms of science and improvement, and love talking about trends or things happening that are under the surface of the public consciousness - basically what's next, and love talking vertically or going very deep into 1 subject.

[@D0J0P]

This is very comforting to hear. As an INTJ, I'm considering going into IT. I don't have any education, so I don't know how it'll go, but I like computers and will probably teach myself and maybe start from the bottom.

[@chrisulianna1096]

MAAAAN! I stay "in the ocean" so much that it feels like my life happens without me. I am so focused on my inner dialog that everything outside of me just goes blank. The worst part is that it is so natural that I don't know its happening so I go long stretches, months, years, without progress. It's like I am listening to the music to my favorite song, and it's wonderful, but it's only the music. When I hear videos like yours, it's like I'm reading the lyrics, and it is so much better. Thank you. Keep going Alexis. We need more like you!

[@mohrgirl1]

37 year old female INTJ, highschool science teacher here. You're 100% correct to start with Te, then add in some Se for energy and mood. What I think you will find is that you need to start valuing your Fi more. You may associate it with negative things now, but in my experience, it has to be developed into an asset if you want satisfaction. Also:. This is a great video. Love your analogies... especially the potential / kinetic energy comparison with introvertion / extroversion.

[@antistaticandi]

You are doing amazing work, getting the real truth out there about INTJs - the good, the bad, the helpful, and the chronically underrepresented and misunderstood. Thank you.

[@ignitionredBRZ]

Very deep understanding of cognitive functions, very good at explaining them in an easy to understand way too. Great video.

[@R512-s9m]

Wow, I never really understood cognitive functions, and for many years actually mistyped as an INFP. I had no idea why, but I could never fully relate to the INFP. There were mostly superficial similarities. Recently, got typed as an INTJ, was trying to figure it out. When you were explaining how Fi presents negatively in an INTJ, it made soooo much sense. Fi has always presented really negatively in my life, made me lazy and moody and sensitive, with almost none of the strengths. Combined with underdeveloped Ti, everything you said here makes sense.

[@recarsion]

This channel is a hidden gem. Such insight, much advice, wow. But really though it's refreshing and helpful. I've been doing the whole loop thing for a few months now, getting back into Te land is going to be good for me.

[@AlexisKingsley]

Thank you so much!

[@siunkii]

Never have I ever heard a video that I resonate with so much. I mean, there's been multiple MBTI videos of different types with what I went "That's relatable, sounds like me", feeling quite giddy with some of the findings, but never for the whole picture. I was always projecting my idea of "who I was supposed to be" into these other types, thus one major point for a type would over rule the lesser ones that indicated otherwise. Thank you so much for getting the hang of your Te and showing your findings to us.

[@makotoi.9142]

I'm still trying to find out my type but I relate. When I was a teenager I was always working on projects with people and I valued the criticism I got for my work a lot. It wasn't until I started playing heavily with Fi at 17 that I lost that motivation. I don't pay attention to Fi most of the time, It feels good to do it once in a while, but in quarentine I felt like I was reevaluating my life, values and goals nonstop. It's like everything else just didn't matter anymore.

[@curiouskitteh8215]

Hi Alexis, I took a brain test in college and it said I was a rare human who uses left and right side 50/50. It said I may have a hard time making decisions because my process is so balanced, not tempted to go with brain over heart or vice versa. Perhaps that’s why us INTJs have analysts paralysis. I’m getting so much from your channel and it’s inspiring me how much you’re using your skills to help the world!

[@dexteryousef2380]

I am in my 40s now and you have described my journey. This video is also motivational and your last words took path to my heart directly.

[@apoorvsom9120]

What a great way to finish 2021. I made notes all through the video, noticing my weaknesses, and my accepting my strengths. Some of the things that I overcame and made me confident were things I did to come out of the Fi. That, was my biggest weakness. I am now more confident, but still working on it. Now I know exactly how to put it in words. Thank you for making such an amazing video, Alexis. What a day it has been, 31 December 2021 - gave me one of my biggest realizations/learnings. What else could I've asked for. 2022... here I come!!

[@santiagofortezazanetti8787]

You are doing great! Thanks for presenting your improvement efforts with Te and Se. It is true that most of the time idealization is far from reality. Your approach is humble and honest! Very difficult others perceptions but as you demonstrate so useful.

[@AzraiRazuan]

Agree with your video. We certainly need to work on our Se. For me, I try to take some sort of action, however small. It helps a great deal and it gets better. Try to stop procrastinating and take at least baby actions. It's good to face the present challenges rather than bury your head in the sand. We can do it. Be grateful for the challenges demanding attention as they great opportunities to practice our Se

[@AlexisKingsley]

👏

[@ايفا-ت8ن]

Thank you very much on this video I finally understand I had trouble typing myself as tests kept typing me as ENTJ, and my enneagram 8w7 also didn't help since it was unusual enneagram for INTJ, but my results there are consistent and 8w7 description literally describes me to the teeth. I used to be an introvert just like all other INTJs. However in the pursue of my goals I realized that I can't achieve anything alone. The power is one's ability to impose his own will upon others, after all. I knew I had to change, be more social, outgoing, at first I felt awkward, because it was out of my comfort zone, but with time, you just kinda get comfortable with it, today I feel comfortable even talking with strangers, I learned to speak up and explain my ideas, to trust and not to trust people, what mostly kept me going is the strive for success in life. Because I stepped out of my comfort zone, I unconsciously utilized Te or extraverted thinking, to the point where it became as strong as my dominant function. The reason I'm mistyped as ENTJ is because ENTJ and ESTJ are the only two Te dominant types, and since my Ni was still very high tests that took into a count only dominant function, just typed me as ENTJ. Mistypeinvestigator test and your video opened my eyes and helped me finally realize that I'm *not* ENTJ, mistypeinvestigator has a different way of calculating, they also calculated I'm Te dominant with really high Ni, however they took into a count all 4 of the functions, and my highest score was for INTJ and ENTJ after INTJ In conclusion : I'm INTJ 8w7 that has overcome the weaknesses of my own type. I guess, while I maybe appear to some as an ENTJ, at the end of the day, deep inside, I'm still INTJ

[@trevorfrayne6418]

I enjoyed this video. I think Fi trips me up more than anything. I seem to have landed in a family which emphasized Se since most of the family had Se for Dom or Aux. So for me, it's just being aware of Se to keep Ni balanced. Te and Fi are a different story. I've gotten better with Te, I can see the growth. However, Fi was ignored until it was a problem. Now, I'm looking to regularly work on it and balance it with Te.

[@AlexisKingsley]

Thanks for sharing!

[@TNord.]

Introverted feeling in my opinion is knowing the path or plan you’re on is compatible with your ideals. So the moping around may be finding what matters to you. And Te is planning to make it happen. So some moping probably is beneficial, just like you say, not stuck in that loop. As an ENFP, I use Fi a lot. And my “bad loop” is extraverted intuition and extraverted thinking. It’s constantly coming up with plans and not getting anything done. But from those plans, I can talk to an INTJ and choose the best one. Conversely, the ENFP manic need to act, immediately on plans that feel right can be an engine for an INTJ. But then again our obsession can lead to outbursts, when the plan is put on hold. We tend to act before we plan, assuming we can correct as we go. But having a strategic INTJ and enthusiastic help ENFP seems like a good combo. And ENFPs love to discuss ideas. I find INTJ’s intellectually stimulating, and often aligned with my ideas/ideals.

[@PROLKR]

I felt under attack in this video. I feel like I'm not doing enough, and it's sad to think that all of this information I've learned I haven't put it to use. I took no offense, of course, but it's a reality check from your explanation of how my Fi isn't exactly helping. Great video, thank you.

[@Rephto-Sagarricchi]

I have rejection and abandonment trauma..but because i am an intj i was able to understand its origin and focus

[@calebm4724]

Really phenomenal job. I watch hundreds of videos and you have a special approach and superior ability to communicate in a way that resonates. INTJ 8w7

[@Marina-zx7du]

I typed an INTJ, but was very close to ISTJ. I watched dozens of videos of differences between two, but your videos were more appealing with good examples, so I guess I am an ISTJ.

[@skmanny2525]

Video couldn't be more accurate? I feel like you're exposing me 🤣 extroverts have a much easier time it sounds like! I've done everything you said word for word. Keep up the great work.

[@AlexisKingsley]

😂I love a good exposing

[@dhue7463]

You're really the best MBTI KZbinr I've come across; not only did you help me actually understand how functions work, but a lot of your insight shed light on behaviors and attitudes I hadn't realized were holding me back, and your advise to develop my Te more is very motivating for me to grow and get out of my rut. I really needed this. Thank you!

[@stevedavenport1202]

Spot on observation about how Ni is so rare and how so few people want to take a deep dive into the "Ni Pool". I have observed that INTJs are more assertive than INFJs in trying to get people to engage in Ni topics.

[@matthewking8806]

Very helpful & understandable video. I'm a 66 year old INTJ who is still learning about myself & where I fit in this world. Thanks for sharing.

[@RonHaddock1]

What a GREAT video. So appreciate your breakdown of the INTJ. I only discovered MBTI about 6 years ago. I always believed the way I am was due to my Military Submarine Service and the professionals who trained me right after High School. Very mission orientated and protective of my tribe. Lifelong learner. Now a retired Banking software development project manager and living in the Canary Islands. I always liked the " What people think of you is none of your business". Thank you for your wonderful input and knowledge.👍

[@pedrofranciscocovarrubiasd7772]

I think and INTJ will not be passionate to be identified as an INTJ more than the desire to be understood by the rest of the people, he doesn't truly feel special or better than the rest, he just wants to be understood by others. He will be glad if the rest of the people understand that what he wants to achieve is for the best for everyone. I think a true great INTJ doesn't care too much to be an INTJ, he or she had a feeling and an assurance that he or she was called more for a higher purpose, something that can feel like a divine purpose, he or she knows that can and will achieve a transcends that will change the human kid and more. INTJ when having an argument in a relationship will understand this: My words are not to intentionally offending you, I'm trying to describe the best that I can the reason why we have a problem and how to fix it. Most people think that you are offending them, and this drives you crazy because it doesn't make any sense to you why they get offended.

[@belovedmess.4699]

You are a fabulous teacher! I can listen to you all day.

[@aswinjshaji160]

You are original, and authentic

[@AlexisKingsley]

Thank you so much!!

[@dragonmaster2207]

I've seen several videos about INTJ, but this one is by far the most clear and easy to understand pearl.

[@Mayakran]

Your description of Ni is spot on! I’ve likened it to watching the real world through a HUD that’s giving me data and translating what I’m seeing, and sometimes reality sort of “fades away” and I become nearly entirely focused on the interpretation of the data I’m taking in rather than the data itself.

[@ladybrown03]

This was an amazing video! Everything this fellow INTJ needed to here. Thank you!

[@funny_money_ad_infinitum]

INTJs procrastinate on many repetitive, boring tasks when they are forced to at work! But when given a challenging task in a larger context, the productive processing process begins immediately. Not in a straight, chronologically logical order, of course, but INTJs begin to factor all the variables into the equation to complete the task efficiently

[@silence8116]

Seriously relatable content. I not only appreciate the explanations of what each function does, but also the advice on how to improve. I was stuck trying to figure out where I’m going wrong…now I know! Definitely going to implement…not just think about it.

[@thespiritschild]

That Te growth part really hit me damn

[@spacejunkisforever6311]

INFP here and I love your videos. Sorry about negative feedback- I’m surprised, I think you present things so clearly and consistently. Refreshing to watch videos from an INTJ - normally this is an Fi and Ne field - and maybe a little scattered in presentation.

[@dmitry.clarke]

First video of yours I’m watching and I’ve never hear someone talk about me so accurately.

[@jessecerasus9621]

12:04 So true! I have so few points of interest in common with others that I can only seem to be obsessed with 2-3 subjects which, unfortunately, are often Rated R. 🤣 It distorts people's perception of me and it's not uncommon for people to be surprised to learn important things about me when we've been together for 10 years! I'm happy for you that your channel is working. It's been on my mind for a while, that a KZbin channel oriented to my favorite subjects would be a good valve for me and my friends who do their best! 😂

[@Echolsdigital]

This video was way too helpful and I feel seen which you know, we don't like too much because that's a form of extroversion.

[@EllaNut]

Solid video, thought your function descriptions were really well done. I think I am in a bit of a depressed rut like you describe, but I don't think is has to do with fear of being disliked. It's more of a nihilistic/hedonistic thing where I've burnt out and become pessimistic of what was my Ni vision. I used to be very Te like you encourage being but I found that after meeting many goals, the end result is frequently not enough to justify all the time and energy I spent getting there.

[@AlexisKingsley]

yeah that achieving goals and not being content is a real issue! I relate to that issue a lot. I made a video on it a while back: Reached My Goal But Not Happy, Now What? kzbin.info/www/bejne/oHS7ZGBpebCpbqc

[@simpledown]

Thank you so much for using your extroverted functions and creating this video : ) really needed it, because my Fi has been getting in my head lately. And it's also definitely the best video on INTJs I've seen - the way most of the other ones depict us as emotionless and robotic is really confusing. By the way, I've listened to that book at least 8 times hahah (it's on youtube if anyone needs it)

[@laszlogulyas6422]

The most demonstrative sign is that you know you are INTJ and you are still questioning it. Once you accept it you are not one.

[@tonygonzalez628]

11:55 right on the money. It's exactly like that. It's a subconscious. Doesn't stop

[@MundoCasmo]

I am an INTJ. You really touched me on min 25. I had the same issues as you, and I believe that showing my stuff to the world really helps me to feel better. Appreciate your explanation on Te. And I think ur vids are amazing. Love them. ❤️

[@heraldkurniaadi3753]

I'm so glad and relieved that there is actually another analogy that can be pointed out in understanding about those functions. Hats off to you, Alex~

[@lillianedwards11]

I have never understood the separate functions until now. AMEN. THANKS

[@kaospilot2774]

This is probably the most comprehensible explenation of cognitive functions regarding this topic I've heard so far. "I'm an ISFP" (*ugh*) and even I could understand this :)

[@INTJames]

As an INTJ I find it really hot that you're an INTJ female

[@light5634]

Very nice video! Thanks! You look like a very pleasant person :) ~ INFJ

[@TheCAPTturbo]

The best thing i ever did was accept that i will be disliked and not caring has helped me immensely, I've accepted it

[@moonpearl4711]

Balancing the heart and the brain 😂😂mannn so true, I am super emotional and a cry baby but my judgements and decisions are never clouded by such emotions 😂

[@synaruscz5352]

12:00 Havent put into practise for groups of people yet (since its recently gathered knowledge) but to remove all the boringnes of surface talking am planning to ask about their obsesions --> their golden nuggets (of knowledge thru experience), what interests them, what they could talk about long time, that thing that they know well, their interest. Because that could put them in comfortable state where they dig deeper themselfs since they know the topic on the surface too much for them not to dig deeper.

[@unravelinghiddentruths]

I was really confused if I am a INTJ or not when people were portraying INTJ's as a dark, emotionless person in comedy skits. Thank you for clarifying my doubt!!

[@myrtila]

I’ve been in a Ni-Fi loop for so long. I can see it clearly now. This video helped A LOT. I wasn’t even sure about my type some hours ago but now I’m pretty sure. Thank you. Gonna use the Te and Se more.

[@Bk01180]

INTJ 15 Y/O girl here Didn’t know what MBTI was until I noticed that my friends were constantly bringing it up and it always came up while hanging out. I honestly did not care at all about it until I got way too curious. Took the silly test one night and got INTJ, looked at memes and that was the end of it. But somehow I fell into a rabbit hole of the whole idea and while one day looking at skits of people acting out the personalities the term “Cognitive functions” came up. And I then felt kinda dumb for not knowing everything about it and only taking the slightly inaccurate test. Thus begun loads of research. Only now have I discovered how inaccurate the tests are. It’s not just the MBTI type and whether you are organized or disorganized or enjoy people or not, it’s so much more, it’s the thought processes, feelings, interactions, and more. Today I read all about the cognitive functions and after months of being uncertain I am finally comfortable in my type. Was the test right? Yes somehow it was right for me, but not in my version of correct. More people need to know that it’s not just what it appears.

[@TheOctodread]

Alexis you give us some.very useful advice! Very solid INTJ tips here

[@AlexisKingsley]

Thank you!!

[@Jan-qw8bu]

This video is amazing Alexis, thank you so much! Top search results often explain INTJ's in a very stereotypical way but this gives a really good insight into the struggles that an INTJ can face. I have been feeding my introverted intuition with books and all kinds of stuff for years and made plans for my career which I thought were the perfect masterplan but when I finished my studies and got confronted with the "real" world it hit me really hard. Something that I would like to understand yet better would be, how an INTJ becomes "unhealthy". So basically what are the reasons an INTJ starts to use fi more and gets caught up in an introverted loop.

[@mcourtois75]

Wow, it's the best explanation of the INTJ I've heard! Thank you for that!

[@bradmcdonald7339]

Thanks for this! I can really get behind the analogies and metaphors. INTJ signing off.

[@maggiemonks]

This video hit hard, esp at the end. Have felt judged since elementary, everything I did was looked down on by my peers. Feeling sloth like a lot lately and have really been trying to figure out what it is I actually do want. Time gets away from me easily and I tend to make excuses generally about being a mom and how much energy and effort that takes, I fail to get other things done frequently and distract myself from trying to figure out where I really want to go in life. Also, kind of relieved to hear another INTJ female speak on some of the harder days, not showering as frequently as most people would consider normal, etc. Feels a lot less alone.

[@sad_hedgehog]

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[@qua7771]

I feel like I have to get mentally prepared to get things done. The trouble with that is things don't always go as planned. Then it's easy to get side tracked. I try not to make my to do list overwhelming. The answer seems to be to keep it simple, which isn't always easy for us.

[@Zelulose1]

Don't lose your logic to emotions and think creatively even if it breaks the rules of common acceptable thought and you will be -NTJ for life.

[@gabiocampos]

ISTJ is also another very common mistype

[@jamjam0409]

Your video is very helpful. I was a bit confused because I enjoy using Te but I am constantly exhausted and I thought that maybe it wasn't my auxiliary function. But now it actually makes sense. It feels like I use functions one by one and I just go from an extreme to another. I can be really productive or just lazy. So I need to engage all the functions to get better. The stereotypes don't help. I even thought I'm an Fi dominant.

[@DanceMotherSuperior]

Oh the Se deficiency is such a real struggle! And when Fi doesn’t feel like Se-ing, life can be a total train wreck!

[@DonnaMakesArt]

My Ni is so strong I'm just now learning how to be PRESENT after 20+ years 😂 Se Te feel like super powers but it gets tiring and I default back to Ni Fi when I get stressed 😶

[@Ine3220]

I just realy needed to hear this right now. Very unproductive mopy INTJ atm, it indeed feels like being a teenager again. I'm in my thirties and somehow seemd to have grow out of that stage but now i'm back at it and this gives me so much insight in why and how to activly get out of it.

[@Enigma96969]

Love your video’s, good job

[@AlexisKingsley]

Thank you!

[@anneh851]

One of the best videos I've seen! Thank you. One of my ways of gaining energy is thru a consistent and progressive exercise program.

[@jetbllackwings]

i love how eloquent you are

[@ryenwthomas]

@Alexiskingsley, I've always felt a connection to Ni and was first typed as INFJ when I was a kid, which makes sense, considering the other functions didn't come online, yet. I was also into the arts and people mistakenly connect that to NF only. By high school, I suspect, is when Te kicked in and I suddenly confirmed what I wanted to do with my life (be a filmmaker), read so many books on the subject, became a mini expert and productively made my own short films with one of those high 8 camcorders. I was so into film, personal development, achieving goals and also studying time travel... I'd watch Pinky and the Brain and wanted to take over the world. By collage and into my 20s, I suddenly started to get more moody and isolated because I didn't feel as productive and like I could really take over the world. I spent more time focusing on my identity and listing what I liked...my favorite this and that and why. I worried more about WHY I liked what I liked. It's funny that Fi is compared to hippies, here, because I call my 20s my hippy era and was more into woo spirituality. This season ironically ended in one of my most downward spirals and I realized that in order to get out of it, I had to ground myself and put myself out of my bubble more. By my late 30s, I suddenly started to weight lift more and practicing actions that grounded me and got me out of my head. Note, I never played sports or set foot in a gym before this season and I can see Se at work.

[@mennawael1104]

Keep doing videos it's awesome very very helpful seriously💖💖💖💖

[@SettieSpaghetti]

I took the assessment twice and the first time I got INTJ with 53% iNtuition and 47% Sensing. The second time I took it a few years later, I got ISTJ with 52% Sensing and 48% iNtuition.

[@grumpyschnauzer]

Haha 🤣 I’m having “kidney pain” or what I intuitively think is my kidneys hurting... I’ll try the water thing. If I think about it, I drink coffee twice a day and water 2x a week. Unless I’m working out I forget to drink water... ima try the water thing 😂 I am also obsessed with self-development and I have been lucky enough to share that with others... people come back and tell me something I said inspired them to... pretty cool to hear. Also hurts my heart when peoples potential is not being met.

[@PolinaShane]

thank you for this video. literally heavily related to everything, because i rarely could relate to all stuff that people write about INTJs online and it left me confused most of the time. but your video kinda helped me settle all the previous information i've read and rethink it with your help. i also heavily related to Fi as a "devil" on your shoulder, bc i think im in Ni/Fi loop lol.

[@Titanium_God]

I wish I would have researched my personality way before high school. Finally I found someone to speak about what is mostly going in my mind. I had few little doubts about being INTJ, but you helped me a lot

[@Titanium_God]

Just got to the part of wasted potencial... Yea, you would slap me in the face I guess and I deserve it. I need to change a lot

[@davidsellars3851]

I am an INTJ-A Thanks for passing on your observations an understanding. I enjoyed very much. Just as a side note, I don't know what two parts of my type are osculating: oh, she is so beautiful, oh I should listen and learn. :)

[@stephanieedwards7420]

I’ve never related so much to a video. You are doing awesome, I’m always excited to see you have come out with new content. Curious if anyone has heard of any trends with INTJs being diagnosed with ADHD. I’m 36 yr old female who’s tested as INTJ for twenty years with slight lean to ISTJ when I first became a parent. In my research there are a lot of similar traits.

[@AlexisKingsley]

I'm so glad you related to it! There are many studies done on CAPT and their MILO database. Here is the ADHD info: capt.booksys.net/opac/ibml/index.html#search:ExpertSearch?ST0=Z&SortDescend=0&SF0=adhd&timestamp=1628365135573

[@maniacallyhappy]

I feel that with dominant Ni, because it's a non-subjective percieving function - we have a tendency to simply absorb EVERYTHING without discrimination and once we're in an introverted reflective period (analysing and dot connecting while dissociating from the current moment) we then check the information for validity by simulating our scenarios in our head. One of the common traits I've been reading about INTJ's is that we REALLY hate having our line of thought interrupted because those scenarios we play out in our head are so whimsy, that once we loose our position in the simulation... we'll never get it back and may have lost a potential epiphany we might have been working on. I used to feel that didn't apply to me because I'm very well practiced in troubleshooting and solving issues from my internal flow chart - I work in the IT service industry, and usually after hearing a couple of symptoms already have the most likely problem that causes those symptoms. I've felt like I have ADHD growing up because anything I interact such is so much input of new data that I need a considerable amount of time to parse, catalogue, simulate, and vet the information out... but get distracted because of how open Ni is to simply absorb ALL THE THINGS. I don't really have any safeguards to protect my line of attention being hijacked by my environment and other people.

[@AlexisKingsley]

@@prettyconvergent9987 Thank you for the very thoughtful comment! Yes I do have typing sessions! You can book at alexiskingsley.com

[@stephanieedwards7420]

@@maniacallyhappy Yes this is true for me I take in everything and then when it’s quiet like time to go to sleep I then analyze everything. I think I get what your saying about you not feeling the “interruption to simulation” applicable due to your field of expertise. I’m sure you have worked out the kinks on your workflow for problems you encounter often thus creating more of a checklist vs a simulation. When I switched jobs from construction to education operations specifically risk management i learned the biggest risk is people and the stuff that would happen was so random I’d do my best to take care of the emergency but any long term solutions I would have to run those simulations at home while everyone was asleep because if I didn’t account for everything I was worried how it would impact high risk kids in our district. Although there became a point where I had a good internal workflow for urgent items like injuries there were still so many elements and surprises that I would need to process. Toward the end of my time there i felt like I had lost all control of my brain and control and was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. I maintained a “don’t bother me” look was short with people I liked, which wasn’t common, and kept headphones on. Because even when I was working on something overhearing conversations and randomly knowing things I should’ve and not knowing where is came from became too much. That’s actually the breaking point that lead me on this self discovery journey cause I lost the ability to focus on anything even at night when there were no distractions. So my long point is that if you were to start working on something out of your wheelhouse (or New life milestone ie marriage, kids, house or taking care of parents in old age) you would likely experience the dreaded epiphany blocker and have to create safeguards for filtering out distractions. My common go to’s are a fan (by bed and desk) the white noise helps so much then and I have different playlists for different types of vibes and I put on music and block everything out. Only downside is at work if someone needs me and they can’t get my attention by name they touch my shoulder which scares the hell out of me. Also, Sometimes in high stress situations to get started in a simulation I’ll have a cocktail and brain dump on a sketch pad so I can keep building onto it over several days if needed and cross out things I determine don’t work.

[@stephanieedwards7420]

@@prettyconvergent9987 Hello! I have the inattentive type which is why people are surprised (including hubby) to find out I have it. Expect those I grew up with or my best friend, she was like “yeah I’m not surprised”. What lead me to getting seen by a behavioral specialist was after being diagnosed with major depression and anxiety in 2017 and after two years of antidepressants I still wasn’t able to focus. Ultimately being unable to focus impacted my efficiency and productivity where I place my self value. Now that I’m on ADHD meds it’s gotten easier to focus and twice in the last month I was even living “in the moment” which I’ve never done it felt like an out of body experience. In getting diagnosed with ADHD I was in denial cause for 33 years I was high functioning and could focus so when the specialist said I’ve always had ADHD I had to deep dive into my childhood and experience. As a kid I daydreamed a lot, never did homework but I tested really well. Eventually socializing became a problem I was being bullied so at 14 I convinced my mom to let me switch to homebased learning with a weekly Meeting 1:1 with a teacher. I excelled and I think that is due to us spending time on topics that interested me. At 16 I graduated high school with a general education diploma and started attending community college. My first class was a career class where they had us do the Myers Briggs Test. I learned all I could which at the time access was limited not like now with the internet I was still on dial up those days. Then as I got older I started making those I interact with take the tests so I could research them learn how their brains worked. Every friend, my parents, boyfriend turned spouse, bosses and co-workers I make them all take the test and snap shot the results that lists percentages so I can see if they could lean towards other functions. After I became a parent I started being responsible for this person I became obsessed with being prepared which meant I had to get organized. I didn’t want to be one of those parents who stays home or schedules everything around feedings and naps so I made lists and became a control freak but not in the “no one wants to be around me” way but the we need to invite Stephanie because “The control freak will take care of it”. I tested again for Myers Briggs cause I had started a new job and was asking coworkers to take it and that when I found out about ISTJ. Taken the test a few times since then and have been INTJ but my Si % has increased. So to answer if I feel balanced, eh depends on which hat I’m wearing (mom, wife, worker etc) but I’m learning about perceiving for both the Ni and Si. I’m horrible at paying bills, car maintenance and domestic duties I’m getting better at. At work I’m so incredibly organized it kinda freaks people out.

[@muchgoodisgiven1517]

Awesome video!

[@mocanasuciprian3472]

So here is my interpretation of these 4 functions when dealing with life(idk if you would agree, I'm just throwing this out there) Ni - main function for perceiving information, and mainly focusing the generalized essence of life, so the INTJ can go through it without without sensory overload Se - is helping Ni create those insights through careful observation of the external world, Se notices the details, and Ni creates the patterns (also, I believe the inferior function is used a lot more than you say) Edit: no, in don't think it gives you energy, that energy probably comes from the fact that want to develop this function, and you become happy and energised when you reach that goal, it has nothing to do with ESTPs/ESFPs being energetic because of Se Fi - takes the information perceived and associates it with individual values, also Fi is not as selfish as many may think, it is responsible for an INTJs empathy(since it is his preferred feeling function), and also a great motivation source (as you said, individual passions) and also the main reason for writing this comment, since you seem to underestimate this function Te - this is the main function for goal setting and strategic planning, it is responsible for helping an INTJ reach a goal(also I noticed many ENTJs get mistyped as INTJs because people think Ni is responsible for goal setting, which is wrong, because Ni is a perceiving function, not a judging one) You also talk about INTJs having the potential in Te, which is true, but it's not their main strength, the main strength of a type is its main function, and the other functions only serve to help the main one While it is important to develop all of them, it is, again, to make it easier to express your main strength (which is Ni) Also, when setting a goal, you need both judging functions, because, without Te, you won't be able to take action, but without Fi, you won't see a reason to take action, since it's not within your area of interest

[@CSB33-u7q]

I’m not sure if I am an INTJ (Hence, why I’m here), but every personality test (including the one from work) resulted in INTJ. Good information though. Thanks for the video/explanation.

[@VortexThePrime]

INFJ here, I'm only 14 minutes in so far but I've just got to say that you do a wonderful job explaining both the functions and the MBTI type system to where anyone can get it. Also, not knowing how you got home... I've mentioned that in the past to many people and I came to the realization that most people must not do that. 😂 Which I guess makes sense since sensors and extroverts are more common I believe. I just sounded like a crazy person to these poor people. I couldn't just explain to them that my Se is unconsciously taking in the outerworld while I drive around not focusing on anything. I have never almost been in an accident while doing this. I think actually drive better during these times even! 😂 Whenever there is something that needs my attention it's like a switch is flipped. I can use Se very well when I need to, but it only works when it wants to, which usually means in dangerous situations.

[@tnic3255]

I love your videos, especially your ability to explain how you are applying your functions in reality and honesty about struggles. The book you mention about the courage to be disliked…interesting that it helps you get out of Fi, how about for Fe and going along with the crowd…and fomo?