Ali Siddiq - When You’re Unprepared for a Prison Riot - This Is Not Happening

Ali Siddiq recalls a time when he realized he was under prepared for an imminent prison riot.
Original airdate: Jan 28, 2015
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About This Is Not Happening:
This Is Not Happening features long-form storytelling from stand-up comedians, musicians and more. These outrageous stories show why real-life experiences always make the best material.
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[@edgonzalez5381]

"I got stabbed from a mexican that didnt even have on boots" lmao. Bro the build up of the story and the joke was superb 👏🏼

[@geraldarnoult]

MEXICAN? you mean an American of Mexican ancestry and the so-called Mexican Mafia origin is the U.S. (Los Angeles) its an American prison gang, not of are from Mexico, nothing to do with Mexico

[@mrsetamayple]

😂🤣 I’ve heard him tell this story before BUT it never gets old

[@bo_____knows]

Never 😂😂

[@myself9954]

Have you seen the animation version😂

[@brandonnunez3644]

@@myself9954WHERE IS THE LINK 😂

[@AviaryAviles159]

As a Mexican and former prisoner, I can confirm 😅

[@BrettonFerguson]

I'm white and did 12 years. I also confirm this story is accurate.

[@Magneticvortex-kk4gb]

@@BrettonFerguson As Cosa Nostra I confirm you guys do do this. We watched via the security camera, placed bets, sipped on fine wine.

[@dexterramey8787]

​@@Magneticvortex-kk4gbwhat was the bet?

[@ericae.6547]

Damn y’all were just stabbing Black dudes? :/

[@theultrawarrior7448]

@@Magneticvortex-kk4gb Cosa nostra, are you Irish?

[@urdad9853]

Funniest line..."Was I suposed to run?".....im dying

[@J.D.Cody.]

It's a strong person that can turn that experience in to comedy and a clever one that can make it funny

[@kwest1realbadman967]

This was one of my favourite Ali stories. Good to see it still being shared.

[@jongabrielminney2440]

Why was it your favorite?

[@saulortega8633]

As a Mexican with boots I love black people 😂

[@antoniotinoco7328]

Chicano isn't mexican pocho

[@Radjhitoocool]

We love y’all too 💪🏿

[@soulflowerpeace9236]

And we love yall too!!!

[@pasofino9583]

@@antoniotinoco7328siéntese señora.

[@Mycarisloose]

Love our Hispanic brothers!!!

[@hulioortiz6988]

What the heck, I'll watch it a second time 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@sonjettajackson4394]

He’s dope!

[@g00gle-]

Wait till you search for it ;)

[@quintononezine548]

There’s a longer version on this ..it was edited

[@mr.nyceguy7800]

Are we just gone gloss over the fact that these racist cowards want to cause harm to random black people? 🤷🏿‍♂️

[@ColdBrewLobster]

Third or fourth time for me.

[@BatkoNashBandera774]

Ali is so good at storytelling, his pacing is amazing.

[@culturelax924]

It’s a pure art form for sure…I’ve had a tragically comedic life haha…To be able to tell your story how Ali can…is gifted talent you can’t teach

[@ivankontra3446]

haha…

[@AlexMartinez-in5ws]

He is definitely taking about Texas prisons because I was there for almost 9 years.. and everything he is saying gives me flashbacks :)

[@crch506]

California the same way

[@JuniorR-u3z]

@crch506 yeah but in Cali we don't call up with blacks. The guy mentioned his belly was a Mexican so for the story's sake, it didn't happen in Cali. They do boot up before a riot though, to kick dudes when they're on the floor

[@MM-jf1me]

One of my favorite comedians! Ali Siddiq is wonderful -- thanks for showcasing him on your channel!

[@neen42]

This was from 2015.

[@bjm1777]

Thanks for that info, Wendy

[@saidsaid-gg2ks]

u ment T.I

[@MM-jf1me]

@@neen42 It's older material, but any time a comedian is featured on this channel is an opportunity for them to be introduced to a larger audience. I love Ali Siddiq's comedy and hope his work is introduced to as many people as possible: he deserves all the success he's earned for himself and more!

[@nicksausley6198]

Wow they really cut a lot out. Ali deserves more than that. Good thing he puts out his own specials.

[@SpacemanXC]

Maybe the best prison story of all time. 10/10

[@derekmosley720]

Crazy thing is he telling a real life story😂

[@areoinstylz]

The cartoon that someone put with this made this so fckin funny 😂😂😂😂

[@lianekawasaki143]

Aw man I wanna see that lol

[@miamijefe7793]

The moral of the story. Always be prepared for the unexpected

[@BigMikeKOE]

That, and don't end up in prison.

[@Blazefade909]

I mean black and Mexican can’t share a cell but yea

[@miamijefe7793]

@@Blazefade909 You are right but maybe in PC they can lol? He had to add a little sauce to the story to explain how friends on the streets can end up forced to fight each other in prison politics..

[@Fat3Distr0]

for anyone seeing this video for the first time, search ali siddiq prison riot released 9 years ago! it's the full uncut clip and ali releases his own sets for FREE on youtube and they are incredible!

[@MsJai_1]

I laugh at this EVERY time I see this routine! MessKanGotOnBootz!😂

[@siegfriedkharan]

i prefer the non cutted version. every word ali says is part of the whole story and that's why it's funny.

[@OmarHernandez-nq2jo]

Handball is a Mexican past time in every prison Penitentiary joints. Handball and soccer mainly. 😅🤣😂 but very true it was a sign of something major going down when all Mexican wear their boots.

[@ohnaww]

It’s cut differently from the original upload. I wonder why it was reuploaded.

[@molink3123]

As a Mexican who works construction, I haven’t bought boots since

[@SkynetT800]

It's a sad situation to have to fight someone you don't know That could have been your friend on the outside. "Can't we all just get along" rodney king Jr

[@RebelRouserEsq]

I’ve watched this at least 12 times. I laugh hysterically each time 😂😂😂

[@jongabrielminney2440]

At what part do you laugh hysterically at? Not being mean, just truly trying to grasp what's funny about this guy.

[@mnpo8987]

Funny as hell. 😂

[@veozvos3195]

I was laughing so much my wife started tripping!! Talking about “only I should make you laugh like that” 🙄

[@smokeymoe842]

sheesh that's toxic, good luck bro lol

[@gemgirl2000]

Who you married to? Raspusha?

[@Ch4rlz_ThA_Princ3]

Red flag brotha 😂

[@farayimatibiri1724]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@edgonzalez5381]

Tell her she ain't Ali 🤣

[@419liteskin3]

3rd time uploading this bit, coincidentally right before he dropped his new special. Sucks to see Comedy Central down this bad. Mad respect for Ali tho, one of the best in the game and is moving independent.

[@derekmensa6959]

Marketing counts bro..

[@petservices2753]

The disappointment when the Mexican slasher had rl boots lol😂😂

[@user-cb5wm9bx3j]

Right right... so much jargon. "Time to lace them up." 😂

[@brandonnunez3644]

Probably my 5th time watching this and its still funny every time 😂😂

[@nachomendoza5673]

I'm Mexican and I got on boots.

[@TX_TOAST]

Everyday 😂 son

[@rashidbey9142]

One of the most iconic stand ups right here 😭

[@mariop8852]

you're the only ex-con comedian who has stories I believe.

[@goddessblack8787]

Because there true his manager confirmed his stories

[@backupnoname]

Welcome back to my feed, Mr. Sadiq. I think we're on watch four now.

[@mosesperez8636]

This guy' is awesome supper funny... The timing on the words and story and his expression really great !

[@katiethomas5889]

I watched half of this the other day and came back just now to finish the video.

[@lanardfletcher1422]

Top 3 Saddiq story for sure! One of my faves!

[@youngvip6905]

One of the greatest stand up specials

[@juliosamaniego6585]

I kind of jiggle two times, but I got super entreteined and informed

[@MzBee-qm5gs]

I love Ali!! He keeps me laughing!!

[@jonathangonzalez9212]

1:Patrice O'neal prison story 2:Ali Siddiq- Messkins got on Boots story 3Jay Larson - Sounds like Bruce story Honorable Mention: Brent Chrysler- Machine story 😂😂

[@PBRatlas]

I’m laughing based off the picture ik this finna be funny 😂😂😂

[@BlampedBenz]

The animated version is hella funnier😂

[@anthonytony7301]

I remember this a while back..in the animated version 🖖.....brown and black jokes are the ways to keep us together.💜💛💜💛💜🤗...

[@BlampedBenz]

@@anthonytony7301 all love man

[@homedeezyfasheezy5662]

Did they take that channel down? I coulda sworn I was subscribed to it but I just realized I ain’t seen new from it in a good while.

[@BlampedBenz]

@@homedeezyfasheezy5662 I’m not too sure I remember seeing it on shorts.

[@specialguest_productions6402]

They did Ali wrong. He should have rights to his own material.

[@Top_Pulla]

They had a cartoon to this lol

[@abrealgaming5649]

I'm so happy I waited to waited to watch this 😂

[@uncleloof]

there's an animated version of this on youtube. its hilarious.

[@wilv5849]

I’ve been there bro and you spittin facts

[@nevasoba5953]

One of the absolute best stories ever

[@mikeygavilan5769]

This is one of my fav stories!🤣😂🤣

[@MrDozer120]

great story!

[@juliantanderson9]

Exceptional story telling comedian

[@kirasimpson7229]

I've seen this about 10 times! 😂😂😂

[@david_king_music]

This reminds me of my first months at a new job

[@TheCarlitoBM]

esta historia la vi animada y el algoritmo de youtube me lo puso jajaja esta increible ajajaj

[@stanomano3245]

So true I’ve heard it about 3,000 times

[@ThePeak45]

I remember seeing this in an animated video.

[@ckinahan1]

that was perfect! LOVE HIM!!! rofl

[@mariacriner892]

I worked for tdcj and I totally know what he is talking about about I love Ali he is hilarious

[@PharaohRobinson]

Telling my guys that's the new Warning for if something about pop off in the club.💯👀👀👀 Mexicans got on boots."🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@michaelangelo4349]

I guess I’ll watch it for the 21st time

[@craighendricks3240]

I like it with the cartoon skit.

[@yasser7864]

This cut out version, while still good, feels wrong. why they chopping it?

[@CaptMoo]

Best Storyteller Comedian

[@reedzworld3.086]

Lol just don't call him " Derrick Gaines"😂 We both went to Paul Revere Middle School. Note: I hadn't seen Derrick,I mean Ali in some years.I ran in to him some years later,(before) his stardom and walked up to him and said " What's up Derrick!" He said.." Don't call me Derrick no more,my name is Ali" I said "alright bro,Stay up Derrick!" Then I walked off!😂

[@homelikewater]

It’s golden comedy but mean it’s messed up that everyone hate each other like that.

[@chaniecereese6308]

I swear everytime I see a Mexican with boots on I laugh 😂😂😂

[@jeffeldredge1608]

Only those having been there, truly know.

[@alansanchez8550]

How does this not have more views??

[@dgfallen1]

How the hell do they even get these steel toe boots inside of the jail? I know you cant possibly stick something like that up your behind so how does anyone smuggle something like that in there in such high quantity? Thats some real engineering and planning right there, better yet, that is some true Aztec survival ingenuity right there, im sure even Cortez would be terrified if he found out about this today! lol

[@pasofino9583]

Some places have industry jobs with government contracts,forklifts and others heavy material and equipment in the institution.

[@mr.nuna916]

The boots were state issued at the time. At least in CA they were.

[@nyxsmith5340]

It’s in our blood to survive and stay sharp

[@zealousjay1993]

I stay coming back to this

[@theonlyone782]

Never been to prison and I don't intend to 😂

[@dariuswhite4196]

Dope AF 😂💯

[@rudekidd_]

Bruh the cartoon animation of this is hella funny too

[@jamesrogers2780]

Retired correctional officer here. Knew from the get go about boots.

[@nave37]

Rock a show with him. Heard this live still hilarious😂😂😂

[@andrewmartinez4765]

Gotta stay suited and booted😂

[@jaydrains2247]

The Jamaicans got on sandals ..run for your life bredrin. Lol

[@SoundOfFreedom35]

Being locked up ain’t no Joke…you will get killed over a pack of Noodles if you trade and don’t pay. I seen two guys beat the hell out of each other because the guy promised him a pack of noodles for a breakfast tray and he did not pay him when he got his commissary. COFEE AND NOODLES is serious when you locked up.

[@5477pann]

Ali sounds like dave Chappelle, kat williams, kevin hart all rolled into one

[@bruhbroseph]

Reminds me of visiting family😅

[@kpaggie]

I laughed so hard at this story!

[@janetdavis8694]

He a great story teller...i be so invested😂😂😂😂

[@BurstVessels]

Audio is kinda low on this clip. Incompetent Comedy Central staff is to blame, no doubt.

[@creepincarl]

Just imagine if Fleece Johnson decided to do comedy

[@pipeflush]

Every time he opened his mouth it was comedy. 😂

[@ericwilliams1659]

At least you keep ari's voice this time.

[@mxkaba]

The editing here is amazing

[@Alr1ghtyThen]

Ngl i never noticed he was sitting the first time I saw this. 😅

[@Zulu-Lemon]

Greatest this is not happening story

[@GK323la]

He ain’t lying .. you see them boots on and everyone wearing jackets 🧥 ya somebody about to get cut like 🍣

[@musondamandabe1549]

I like this story 😂😂😂

[@mwedekeli]

This might be the single greatest joke, In comedic history....

[@giovannyrodriguez1924]

It was good brother 👍

[@mattmason1986]

That was great !

[@QANews]

_Bleep, Bleep, Bleep, did you like the joke?_

[@Mogen562]

I'm Mexican but I have chanclas 😜

[@jesusgallardo6955]

I love all my people no matter the color. If you're my people thats what you are... : ' )

[@damondarlingtv]

Got to host a weekend with him at toldedo funny bone great comic

[@realjohnlove]

DMX & Kirk Franklin little brother

[@user-cg6ir2px6t]

He has great books