ALL OF r/TINDER

[@akabatoru8922]

Me: *preparing to go to sleep because it's already tomorrow* EmKay: uploads Me: sleep is for weak

[@galacticlouds155]

Sleep is for weekends. Stay up 5 days straight

[@themanbehindtheslaughter9751]

@@galacticlouds155 And then you're half way to dea-

[@noyou3083]

4:30am

[@catvamp100]

123 am

[@Dvin_-]

@@catvamp100 huh that would be 5 days at 3 am right?

[@mavcotm8006]

3:35 this is the best Patrick impression I've ever heard

[@sarcasticnoodles9193]

IKR💀

[@WillTw12]

No cause I thought it was a sound byte from the show 💀

[@rexex345]

That was too perfect

[@barletproductions]

Damien, Master of Impersonation

[@bizzlejams]

and it was about eating ass and not sucking weiner. 🤣

[@ConnorPugs]

An entire hour? I gotta grab the popcorn 🍿

[@Skyrimfanatic]

Da man himself?

[@_PROXIMITY_MINE_]

Is this real pugs?

[@Slowman_RRF]

imagine an entire video of all the videos he made about r/.......... (SHUT I KNOW I DONT MAKE SENSE I TRIED MY BEST)

[@spencerklempner3617]

Ponnor cugs

[@Slowman_RRF]

@@spencerklempner3617 yes

[@MKTB22]

0:18 Damien: comedy. Name puns are a make-a-break on tinder. Me: I can hear the San Francisco puns coming.

[@hannah.]

u mean make or break?

[@yltb2702]

18:46 I would have swiped on ally. Everyone deserves to be loved. Especially those who are on their way out.... I definitely would have offered her my love because I would already know what I would be getting into

[@nothanks1508]

nah

[@yltb2702]

Wdym nah?

[@yltb2702]

@@rosiv9617 I did. I just didn't find it funny.

[@luriothelucario250]

I hope she has good air conditioning

[@8bitsins]

27:39

[@Philter-Coffee]

Not tinder but another dating app, but it's quite possibly one of the biggest ego boosts I ever had. I messaged 2 women within 5 mins of each other. They were best friends. They were out having drinks together when I messaged. Literally sitting next to each other. One said to the other "back off, he messaged me first". I have been with her for over 5 years now, and we still hang with her best friend.

[@CaptainSweatpants90]

And then the whole bar stood up and clapped

[@Philter-Coffee]

@@CaptainSweatpants90 just what happened on the early days of the platform when I set my radius pretty low, think I had it sorted by distance as well. I think the first had set up an account for a few days and the other was encouraged to set one up by the first, and they were both out with a larger group of friends.

[@TriTheGuy]

thathappened

[@bandkid4lyfe]

And then Elton John came in and gave you a Nobel Peace award, while everyone kissed and then exploded

[@Philter-Coffee]

@@bandkid4lyfe or we arranged to go out for dinner. I actually had more in common with my partner's friend (very similar fields of work). Also I'm not saying they even argued, from what I was told it was just an off the cuff comment by my Mrs. It was literally just a weird coincidence given they were both pretty close, and at that time dating sites weren't all that common with my age group. Pretty sure tinder was either not a thing, or not well known at the time either.

[@luniticarmor6843]

Slazo is an innocent boy but also the soft "with pleasure" after looking at her chest made me laugh so hard for no reason 😂

[@Tuesday_dairy]

This comment made me cringe so hard

[@superlecteur7897]

The second person has the samsung galaxy two mic

[@lollybowser]

Was on Tinder yesterday and a guy's profile said "non-smoker" despite the fact he was smoking in 3 out of his 5 photos

[@Just_Dio]

7:32 so nobody gonna talk about how handsome “totallyrealhuman” is

[@buckie477]

An absolute stud of a real human

[@Nova-sd4dj]

Real human man likes doing human things like consuming flesh of animals, breathing oxygen and walking on leg.

[@hayden.is.my.name.]

I know right! 💅

[@hiroshi7025]

14:05 idk if anyone explained but I'll do it : A vegetable is how you call someone in a vegetative state like on a hospital bed in the coma etc. He's basically saying that he'd rather die.

[@randomperson5599]

Thanks :)

[@ThinkerOnTheBus]

I caught that one. However, I must be missing something regarding the last one.

[@hiroshi7025]

@@ThinkerOnTheBus The maths one?

[@Starrytchi]

EmKay, I haven’t watched you in forever, and I remember why me and my family used to watch you. My parents are now dead but we loved watching you all the time. The “I’m bringing chili” became an inside joke only we understood. I miss those times, but you came into mind recently and I’m glad whatever compelled me to look you up again. Thank you for making my family laugh when we needed it. Imma go cry now cause yes-

[@truehoomanhere6230]

Sorry for your loss, hope you're doing ok

[@anihilisticmisanthrope]

The power of yes - by John Seed

[@funnicatfrfr]

Sad man 😔 also: I'm bringing chili

[@RjKME]

7:22. There’s a tinder scam going around where people make an account saying there 18 but when they talk to you they will tell you there 18 birthday is this weekend. It just goes on from there in a lot more detail. Just be cautious of people and what they say.

[@TheCrystallizedVoid]

Ok but the "hold up" in Slazo's first section of the video was perfectly timed because an ad played shortly after it popped up

[@leetaegi6478]

Honestly I really love seeing how well some of these people connected!

[@turboshark457]

27:38 I also ask useful questions like “what is your credit card number” and “cash or credit”

[@KangaGamer]

1:05:03 that was well played... '10' in Binary is a '2' in base-10. The lack of reply sells it as the Binary system🤣 The CS conversation was funny.... I now understand my place in the world 😅

[@Hezmarglive]

"gyhw" "starlord cthulu diabetes uranus" That person deserves an award.

[@maolin6048]

i'm in love with the Slazo + Damien + Zach agenda

[@sheepdog1901]

fun fact: Emkay is always first, not you

[@itsmenala9087]

Ikr

[@akechifangirl]

Real

[@EmKay]

First

[@darkendway]

@@EmKay second

[@TabbyCatq]

@@EmKay Fourth >:)

[@justsparrow3461]

Okay but hear me out Go to a coffee shop Find a pretty girl Keep going to the coffee shop One day you decide to muster up the courage to ask her out She isn’t there You find her at the park The rest is history

[@killz_godly866]

only legends know💯💯

[@hsg5329]

Kinda like Tokyo ghoul

[@nagykrisztian91]

Bros writing in green text format in youtube comments

[@lavender2290]

This has to be one of my favorites

[@ROON5786]

i swear emkay uploads every 2 minutes lol

[@Menma-Abyss]

good luck ali!! i lost my dad to cancer in 2019, so he will be cheering you on aswell from heaven

[@rogueraven2531]

@27:14 dude probably almost got arrested for those business cards

[@ARandomNerdyGuy]

To the bees question, I'd answer "beeswax, honey, propolis, bee bread and royal jelly." I'm a beekeeper, here to give you random bee info.

[@sheriffbutterball7824]

whats bee bread? im guessing its not little loaves of whole grain bread they make and feed to their children

[@ARandomNerdyGuy]

@@sheriffbutterball7824 It’s a mix of pollen, honey, and enzymes that bee larvae are fed.

[@ARandomNerdyGuy]

@Black Birdie Covid boredom, a healthy appreciation for nature, a spare 1.5 grand, and, biggest of all, a single Facebook video. Not even kidding. My mom showed me a video of an observation hive (a hive with a viewing panel) and I just said: “Cool, I wish we could have bees” 1000$ in supplies, 5 beekeeping books, a special permit for in-town keeping, lessons from our local beekeeping guy (32 hives) and a lot of courage later, and we have two beehives. A lot of dedication is required, as you can see.

[@UnknownLol12]

no way emkay doesn't get the pulling the plug vegetable joke 💀💀💀

[@TheOneTrueDuck]

ive been searching in the comments for the answers because im too lazy to google it, please for the love of god just tell me.

[@jayshroomalt]

@@TheOneTrueDuck "vegetable" in that context means a person whose mental and usually physical functioning is severely impaired and many times have to use other supportive measures to survive (like a person in a coma for example)

[@TheOneTrueDuck]

@@jayshroomalt oohh alr

[@no-one-1]

i instantly understood it...i've watched too much dark humor :/

[@aditya8957]

@@jayshroomalt nah this was new to me. What. The. Fck.

[@gamegirl8722]

The Slazo part caught me off guard, I didn't realise I was on a compilation and thought he came back for a moment

[@jacksoncleland3428]

Me:At 2:00 am about to go to sleep EmKay uploads: Me: I have another mission I need to complete

[@Kellerbobeller]

That is absolutely the correct “your”. “Can I be you are buzz”? Yea sure. That sounds perfect.

[@garysimmons3362]

It's good to see like very early emkay videos. Hearing Slazo's voice is very nostalgic.

[@cadencewicker358]

THE "YOU"RE IN A COMA" THING AGAIN OH MY GOD ITS STARTING TO FREAK ME OUT

[@mel.inaaaa]

IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU'VE BEEN IN A COMA FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS NOW. WE'RE TRYING A NEW TECHNIQUE. WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS MESSAGE WILL END UP IN YOUR DREAM, BUT WE HOPE WE'RE GETTING THROUGH.

[@kittyfox7]

Why are you so good at Patrick’s voice?! 😂

[@suz-2050]

Ur patrick impersonation was 5⭐️

[@Dieselworks123]

FUN FACT - 4:48 the bio that Damien just read out is quoted word for word from a Jim Jeffreys comedy special

[@octaviuswendell5857]

30:56 this caught me off guard 🔥

[@Zestieee]

it took me 6 minutes into this video to realize that i'll be alone forever

[@dux2bble241]

2:57 that "wench" at the end had me rolling on the floor 🤣

[@TheNewSaige]

loving slazo's mic

[@zayed105]

3:30 LMAOOOOOOOO that patrick impression

[@annabxxe]

Listening to this while playing Sims 4, I’m getting some good laughs😂

[@reillysharp4890]

DOES SHE WANT TO SPLIT A PAIR OF GLOVES killed me Lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[@bbygrlll]

1:07 the response is an instant match for me

[@L4ZY_S4V4G3]

@13:00 brooo I laughed so damn hard I woke up the whole house

[@Tyfu39944]

WHY IS DAMIENS PATRICK STAR VOICE SO GOOD???

[@dragoni2759]

wait till you here the dudes chills voice. its scary good.

[@naturally_rob]

That Patrick impression: 👌

[@JadianRadiator]

11:49 It's correctly used in the possessive tense, so Slazo is the one that's r/confidentlyincorrect

[@NinjasKill123]

41:45 I don't know if I'm more disappointed in the lack of understanding between measurements of volume and weight, or the pun flying clear over their head.

[@cameronbuckley9452]

BRO DAMIEN IS THE VOICE ACTOR OF PATRICK STAR THAT WAS SO GOOD

[@NagisaStreams]

I cant believe they fit the entire catalogue of tinder in a one hour video

[@0r4ng3_feli]

the second i meet someone who is also a brooklyn99 fan im instantly attached.

[@quiorescent]

dazai!!!

[@Gatornadenado]

25:50 spitting bars

[@Zedmunbunspunblablabla]

It’s scary that his Patrick impression is good.

[@Tarotqueen-uv1qy]

After that dr suess comment i smashed that subscribe button so hard

[@mrrpggamer2]

OMG, that Patrick voice is spot on, dude, thanks for the laugh :)

[@manifestshadow1496]

3:40 just got away with straight up stalking those girls by "playing a game"

[@MetallicDeviant]

Damian's Patrick voice is fricken hilarious 😂

[@n3ng069]

35:52 ok but did he see those quarantitties? THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

[@rogerramjet6429]

14:04 it's a reference to a vegetable, as in brain dead in hospital.

[@KitahKat]

Oof. Aaaand the reminder as to why I don't make a dating profile is appreciated! 😂🤣 Also, good luck Ally 💕

[@j_g9109]

That was a *very* impressive Patrick.

[@lianvelasco3]

25:50 This is just hilarious. I can't... 🤣🤣🤣

[@Nuh.uhh.h]

7:36 great pic of scp 3199 in tinder

[@npc.nr.58]

46:06 wow good job covering sabrina's name there buddy

[@47eris]

18:45 happy recovery

[@robbyolmstead770]

YES ANOTHER 1 HOUR VIDEO

[@DrKodateko]

11:42 no that's a teacher assistant

[@tovact]

slazo sounds like postal dude at 15:01

[@InbDaenl]

17:16 "right hand pink", Jaime Lannister. Subtle but good

[@diamondblade3490]

If I was a soup, I'd be chicken noodle cuz I wanna help everyone feel better

[@XWinterPhoenixX]

42:28 i had to pause for a minute cause i was laughing so hard. that was the best

[@MicroMidas]

36:15 That's not right. The brother is 20. She's 22, making it 18 years since she was 4, and he was 2 (half) - 18+2=20. no?

[@BlackinoSorpello]

That’s the joke

[@MicroMidas]

@@BlackinoSorpello is it a joke tho?

[@BlackinoSorpello]

@@MicroMidas obviously

[@0Varnmy0]

WHY DID DAMIEN’S PATRICK IMPRESSION SHOCK ME SO MUCH- I LEGIT GASPED 😭💅🏾

[@BritishGuyHuman]

Danien is God of reddit I’ll have the Neapolitan cappuccino, More Cappa than Chino. Make sure it's got no more than 4oz of milk, The beans won't have the right texture otherwise. And make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup. They always put Voxxie or Roxy. I hate that. if you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti Traditional Misto. Please use soy milk with two blonde shots, adffogato and Ristretto . I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom. Then add the coffee after.

[@breaks7o790]

can i get a reverse ratio?

[@TheCrystallizedVoid]

Ok but I absolutely love the Helluva Boss quote. That scene made me laugh so hard

[@minjaivkovic6989]

Me: ready to sleep *see my name in tubnail* Me: Ok it can wait

[@Aperson11028]

I forgot slazo was one of the narrators and I am so happy that he is

[@casualtrainwreck7520]

29:00 My answer is a spoon. The cake won't melt over time, and usually cakes are soft enough to be easily eaten with a spoon I will die on this hill-

[@redacted4495]

I cleaned 1 closet and big closet ( the size of my room in length and about 1.5 feet in width) in one night staying up till 4:am and waking up at 7:am while have emkay in the background.

[@redacted4495]

Ps. Thanks for the entertainment

[@mikaandmoka9098]

30:53 LMAO I JUST GOT 2 DAIRY ADS IN A ROW😂😂😂

[@mrsmolbeans]

12:18 made my siri go off-

[@littlebear3133]

I zoned into fixing my phone case and freaked when I heard the tire screech

[@NIK30N]

That Patrick Voice is terrifyingly accurate ngl

[@JaggedBird]

Maaaaaan, some of these are smooth!

[@TheRealScottMusic]

3:41 THE FUCKING INFINITY FRIENDS ARE ON HIS GAUNTLET

[@jeisunh2o380]

7:32 i didn't know that scp-3199 was looking for a relationship

[@herfish6584]

2:12 was too smooth

[@Chonklord-_]

I'm definitely not old enough for this, but like it!

[@talade5556]

Watching Pron but being single: That looks like fun, i wish i could have some.

[@MrDerpylol]

Math Teachers: YOU NEED TI USE MATH IN THE FUTURE!! present time: uses math to figure out how many freckles on her face.

[@xenon547]

27:09 that moment he realised

[@akechifangirl]

Babe wake up, Emkay just posted

[@SancS44]

Real

[@PurplePiiPii]

9:01 that caught me off guard

[@mirandaulrich5874]

26:48 is how rap battles happened in the 1700s. And i am here for it.

[@abxorb]

That rant on the bio around 4:47 is a 1:1 quote from a Jim Jeffries comedy skit.

[@samueledmonds7964]

1:01:25 I died after the comment and the laugh made me fall on the floor LMFAO

[@intelligentfoxx2350]

11:48 I might be wrong but isn't that the correct usage of your because it is referring to possessing some one and you're is just a shortened version of you are which wouldn't work in that context.

[@matsukukissu436]

getting consent isn't sexy, it's bare minimum sexy is getting consent in an unconventional way

[@draalttom844]

Na you see for me the sexy is someone who can initiate full force and don't see any issue in me saying I'm not in the mood. And you see the thing. People who accept my no, actually make me so ho*ny they get a yes

[@BuilderB08]

7:37 *Breathes heavily while looking up “SCP Foundation phone number”*

[@owagoo]

did anyone else pause at 30:53 to read what she said? i died laughing-

[@leviniahill454]

I went back and paused it from your comment. Absolute CRACKER!! Thank you 😂😂😂

[@atlantictiger]

Screamed at SEND CRUDES

[@boiledpotatopotatoes9346]

Grindr never fails to amuse me