All women play blackjack: know when to hold 'em

[@psychacks]

It's important for young men to understand that all women play blackjack. Like players in the game, women in the sexual marketplace must choose whether to stand (settle) or hit (move on) in their bid to get as close as possible to 21 (an ideal relationship) without busting (the close of their reproductive window). To make this decision, they incorporate information from their hold cards (current relationship) and the dealer's show card (potential mates). A deep understanding of this metaphor will help young men position themselves successfully and refrain from taking the game too seriously. Join my community: the-captains-quarters.mn.co Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women

[@Late60sMusicFan]

Yes, women are most often vacillating. They ALL think they can get that ideal "Chad" who has it all. But they don't realize Chad also expects a LOT in the woman who he will finally take to the altar. The actor George Clooney is a good example. After his first practice marriage, he dated tons of women for years before finally getting married again.

[@rifatislam5836]

@@psychacks laws need to change and women who monkey branch should be punished heavily

[@petervanhoorn6199]

"Standing is settling." This reminds me of a study where men and women were asked if they would be happy with a partner who checks 80 percent of the boxes. Men said: "hell yeah." Women said: "no that is settling."

[@MatthewSmith-cp3hu]

probably because women already don't check more than 20% often much less 20% be pretty 20% be nice 20% cook 20% clean 20% be loyal usually a man gets 10% pretty and 5% on each other selection about 25% + 10% pretty = 35% so ... 80% is a dream girl

[@jonahkolell]

Don't forget that 80% of men are below average in looks according to women.

[@Lex_Lugar]

Great comment. It’s because they don’t do the work in the courting process (although they think they do). He who makes the biggest sacrifice is most willing to settle. She who makes the least efforts is willing to hold out for the best offer.

[@galamander_1327]

Did that study even ask participants what was on the participants' lists to begin with? 80% of barely adequate would be untenable, whereas 80% of sky's the limit would be great. It sounds like some key data is missing from your report.

[@xxczerxx]

I think for a lot of guys those "boxes" are so minimal though, for many it's: - Loyal - Kind - Good looking - Not a high body count

[@someguy861]

"You've got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run" -Kenny Rogers

[@zuhairreza]

Love Kenny's The Gambler song... : D

[@TheCityWokGuy]

YOU NEVER COUNT YOUR MONEY WHEN YOU’RE SITTIN’ AT THE TABLE THERE’LL BE TIME ENOUGH FOR COUNTIN’ WHEN THE DEALING’S DONE

[@JimBillyRayBob]

If life deals you a BPD, run like your hair's on fire.

[@francoiskeulen]

Every gambler knows that the secret to surviving, is knowing what to throw away And knowing what to keep.

[@perfectbeat]

@@TheCityWokGuy 😊

[@FocusProj]

In my final year at college, I had a brief remark to a female student: "You do realise that you'll never get a more concentrated pool of people that could be your life partners (highly educated single young men)." She didn't care. I realised then and there most women play the game and should be treated as such.

[@prameshsahu1957]

Had similar experiences…Hope of having a 10 makes them wait enough to settle for 5 or 6 at the end!….sad thing is that only few women are gorgeous,and even fewer are loyal good person,but every girl has a staunch desire to get a 10!

[@nunyabidness3075]

@@prameshsahu1957This whole idea of solving young girls’ issues by telling them they are all beautiful was a typical, idiotic free lunch solution. Stop trying to suck up to children, and do the responsible thing. Tell them to eat well and be active. Otherwise, it’s worse later.

[@d.nakamura9579]

Your saying that to her is classic passive aggressive behavior.

[@mightymatt8548]

​@d.nakamura9579 yet still true

[@georgeelder8415]

Yes, they're a commodity and will be treated as such...

[@miamihurricaner5911]

25 years ago when my wife and I got married. People surrounding the woman including a father, mother, other friends would help her out, assess the man and often encourage her to “stand”. “He’s a good catch”, etc. Now in the FOMO land of social media and dating apps all designed to profit by getting her to keep “hitting” modern dating is a complete disaster.

[@romancandlefight1144]

Good point Loss of close family & community means worse decisions but also loss of accountability and reputation and more "cheating" and losing out

[@maximea4135]

That’s why you never return with an ex. The girl is hitting and ask the dealer for a card and when she sees it exceeds 21 the want to get back to her previous card. Be don’t be fools.

[@LocPham-kw5ut]

yep, that will just tolerate her thinking that she can get away with anything without paying the price. Heck, women used to be stoned by infidelity. Men should at least make her regret by walking away forever in the modern day.

[@undauntedthud6872]

If they try in once and get away with it, they will try it again.

[@charlesjonesjr1262]

She will “hit” again when she gets the opportunity.

[@gary7790]

I worked with a man who married the same woman 4 times! My first wife sent come back vibes...lost on me!

[@AlanCarter-pw4bm]

@@gary7790 So the divorce didn't work out.......? 😁

[@edheldude]

The problem is that since women have slept with high status men, they think they can secure a relationship with one too, and they will discard even a hand of 20 (the actual almost-perfect hand for them), to try get the 21. I've had this happen several times in my life where I thought I'd found my wife, but she left out of the blue, and years later comes back knocking when it's too late. I even saw my ex sneaking around in my backyard this year. It's pathetic.

Because you're a 20 or course

[@edheldude]

Not in general of course, but it was true with those ladies. They had genuine burning desire, expressed their love etc. It didn't matter - and only later they realized the massive mistake they made.

[@faulrevere8938]

Sneaking around in your yard? WTF?😂

[@malakatan3235]

They always try to get better, the problem is...😂

[@edheldude]

@@faulrevere8938 I went to open my first story balcony door, and saw her crouching trying to peak in. She tried to slink away but I saw her. A grown-ass woman in her 30s.

[@biembagodwin8352]

Gem of the day. "It's not always about you." In any given interaction between two people, each person only controls 50% of the interaction. Only focus on what's in your control.

[@jonathanisernhagen6515]

"Germ?"

[@Nordic_Sky]

Uh, I think you mean gem.

[@SpedSauce]

My germ of the day is e. coli

[@mjaybee]

Unless they’re married, where the woman controls 90% through her privileged legal leverage.

[@Lyonessi]

Germ of the day sounds weirdly profound 😂

[@carahenken4452]

The more desperate you are, the more repellant energy you project. Learn to be happy with yourself, and being by yourself, and you will never be alone. People come and go, and you can't control that. If you're a happy person, nothing can touch you. 🙏💗

[@timbobill7279]

Word.

[@Khan-rz8qi]

It isn’t spoken about enough how people have this need to have a “h*e phase” before settling down. In my observation this a FAR bigger problem amongst women than it is for men, which is shocking to me because men in general have a higher appetite for sex. Most dudes seem to ignore this because most of them barely have options, so they know they’ll never experience this phase. Most young women on the other hand are getting as active as possible before finding a husband. Most men won’t comprehend how much experiences women are having in their youth. If you’re a young dude planning on being a future husband, chances are your future wife has probably experienced men far greater than you will ever be in her past. You’ll pay for that. Husbands always do.

[@wjkathman]

Damn straight. Sounds like an excellent reason to NOT become a husband. Think of the ladies as recreational.

[@faulrevere8938]

The brutal truth.

[@georgegreen711]

That's ridiculous, degenerate, and entirely false. A virgin man and a virgin woman who marry, can, should, and do, find everything they like together and should go very hog wild when they're young (a (though I despise the phrase) "hoe phase" of sorts rightly confined to the marriage bed), so that when they're old and things are in a routine or there's rocks and shoals, they have no other partner memories to cling to or weaponize, and thus are less tempted to stray, especially if they have children and thus parenthood forces them to be less selfish than they would be otherwise without offspring. This is why men and women alike should be virgins when they marry.

[@CabbagePatchkid-r8e]

There is no such thing as a "ho3 phase", once you do ho3 shit, you just are a ho3. Thats why the saying exists, you can turn a ho3 into a housewife. A woman is what she practices, if she's practices sleeping around and monkey branching, that's all she knows.

[@donthatetheflayerhatethega4170]

Or don’t settle down with a former h0e. Also get good at s3x to where you would be her best. This is a loser mentality

[@SiavashNikpour]

a couple of years ago I probably would've been blown away by the information in this video alone, but after watching and deliberating on so much of your content, this sounded like common sense to me, which made me really happy!! So thank you, Doc! And keep 'em coming!

[@GregMunro]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@GregMunro]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@GregMunro]

You wont regret it

[@Luis913Barroeta]

My fellow brothers, remember the HOUSE always wins 💯

[@tigre9271]

Women are the HOUSE. Patrons seek out the house The HOUSE does not seek out the patrons.

[@LocPham-kw5ut]

What? The house is life itself. You play your hand anyway

[@BrockLanders]

The House is The Wall. If they keep on playing and playing they all eventually lose.

[@WomenHitTheWall]

@@tigre9271what are you smoking? The House is LIFE where everyone including men and women are playing their cards. Men play their cards with career options and women play it with romantic relationships.

[@tigre9271]

@BrockLanders So if the HOUSE is the wall, why are y'all all at the wall waiting for someone to throw you a bone?

[@drwayne_carter9115]

It's the women who are ranked 6-8 out of 10 on the attractiveness scale that really have it the toughest when deciding to hit or stand at the blackjack table of dating. The decision for women 8 to keep hitting until a high value comes along and accepts them which is likely because they're beautiful. The decision is not so clear for those women in the middle. On one hand, they could stand but then would feel like they settled too early and, on the other hand, they could try their luck and keep hitting by passing up good guys for an even better one but might bust because they could never find him and would have to then settle anyways for an even worse option than if they just stood with a good guy. Unfortunately, a lot of women in the 6-8 range will go the bust route by being too greedy.

[@thomasdee1980]

While you are right, I think you have missed a very important piece of information. You assume that women have an accurate and objective idea of their own level of attractiveness. I don't think that is the case for most women as they get validation from dating apps, social media and her friends (women seem to tall each other what they want to hear). So many women vastly overestimate their own level of attractiveness which is part of the reason why dating is in such a bad state nowadays

[@rob21]

@@thomasdee1980 This reminds me of a couple attractive women I knew in college many years ago. Definitely in the 7-8 pretty range and are still single in their 50's, presumably because Mr Right never came along.

[@justinwalsh8565]

​@@rob21 lol 😂

[@frankbarenbach6044]

This is why women do monkeybranching: stand with what you have to hitting is better

[@michaelcavalier8750]

@@thomasdee1980 This is a very good point. 40 years ago, women had a much more realistic assessment of their sexual market value. No one was blowing sunshine up their bums all day long.

[@earnyourgold]

The sickest part about the game is that there isn't a dealer. If they actually had to take a honest risk then they'll settle more often and just accept it. But oftentimes they can attempt to monkey branch while keeping their relationship. They cheat. It's like having 16, deciding to hit, getting a 9, and then just putting the 9 back in the deck like nothing ever happened. So many relationships only survive because the other person didn't want anything more serious and most men will never know.

[@Parmoss1640]

Good point. He should have included this point. All games have a cheating component. The issue with blackjack as a metaphor is that it's harder to cheat in Blackjack because it requires the ability to somehow sneak a peek at the dealer's hand. I guess this is where social media comes into play too. LOL.

[@justinrobinson9583]

​@@Parmoss1640 bingo.

[@LocPham-kw5ut]

Most men are oblivious about barely being a 16 in a relationship or even marriage, wasting their resource away while being a placeholder. Wild game.

[@dogdude2457]

Well said

[@barry4466]

This problem is made worse by a culture/society which accepts, and even praises up that kind of degenerate behavior. Culture changed in this way because WW2 ended the way that it did.

[@ryanh9388]

Understand that ladies are less attracted to you and more attracted to the lifestyle you offer. As the doc said in a podcast they do not want the Ken doll they want the dream house and car.

[@CabbagePatchkid-r8e]

That is pure cope. They want 2 men: GuyA: good genetics GuyB: beta simp that will pay for her lifestyle. I personally saw how women treated my college roommate, a full-blown alcoholic with top tier genetics all around. Campus security had to remove so many women for beating on our door, crying to suck him off after he had moved on to another one. They bought him clothes, food, alcohol, paid his bills, school books without him even suggesting it. Women would try and sleep with me just to get in proximity of him (never worked). He offered women nothing but his drunken presence and dik

[@hugevagiine]

Facts the sooner men realise this the better

[@wiltre]

This is wrong, the materia things are just a cognitive association women make for primal desires, which deep down is security, emotional satisfaction, etc. It’s attached but it’s not the main attraction. They want it all, as is human, but the way you make her feel is #1, regardless of if you have anything. Material possession is just a common consequence of being a man that has the internal value, but it’s not required Only broken women want things only and nothing else.

[@bruce5868]

Depends on how old they are.

[@ryanh9388]

@@wiltre There is far more to lifestyle than material goods (do you attend church, standing in community, what’s your home life like, etc). I think the doc used the Ken doll example for illustrative purposes.

[@beetdiggingcougar]

That example of holding 16 and the dealer has 10 was incredible. Probably goes over the head of most but probably the best explanation I've heard on the topic.

[@LilDeadHead1]

Yes could you please elaborate?! Is the dealer also playing? I don’t know how black jack works

[@eladbari]

I didn't get it cause: 1. Was Orion talking about the vvoman or the man is holding that 16 and the male market holding a 10? 2. How can you know what the market holds? Any cars is a surprise while dealt. A vvoman can't know what card she will be dealt

[@dontcallthemliberals3316]

@@LilDeadHead1 mathematically its a lose-lose situation. The dealer (everybody else) has a high chance of having a better hand then you, but you have a high chance of losing if you pick up.

[@Adrian-mb6wt]

Yeah it got over mine. Can someone explain?

[@themodernmuse4u]

Seriously !! The best analogy

[@109PokerFace]

What gives the house an edge in the game of Blackjack, is primarily the fact that it is the player that plays first, and they could lose before the dealer even needs to play. It is a huge advantage to play last.

[@immortaljanus]

Of course, because you have the most information. Same with poker: best position is the dealer, because everyone else has to bet before him.

[@francoiskeulen]

​@@immortaljanusthe poker dealer is not playing. One of the players wins and the bank takes a cut.

[@Neoquaker1]

Not exactly. The house edge actually is created by the fact the player automatically loses when busted, even when the house also busts. It would be even if the player got to keep their bet when both parties bust.

[@Monkechnology]

8:43 Also this will give you another advantage: you don't need to improve to "maintain" a relationship when you can discard and replace them at will. If you're an attractive enough option for her then you are attractive enough for many other women. If you're more of a monogamous type of guy then that "first strike" replaceability should serve as enough deterrent for her in case she wants to "find better options".

[@xvjustvxfps3716]

I realized recently that this is the only channel on KZbin where I watch videos multiple times. I really value this information, and I'll be ordering a copy of your book. Thanks for what you do.

[@Disappointed_Philosoraptor]

The metaphor really does work well. Social media is equal to the dealer constantly encouraging her to hit, promising exactly the card she needs to hit 21. Of course, the dealer is lying. The house always wins.

[@Amlux1984]

My sister definitely did this to her current fiancé. He’s a beta so he stuck around, but she doesn’t love him (nor does she love anything deeply).

[@levismirnoff5450]

Don't marry 30+ women, its all a rational choice by then.

[@xxczerxx]

@@Amlux1984 You should tell him it's the decent thing to do

[@lanceroparaca1413]

And you have not told him? That's low

[@Nordic1133]

​@@levismirnoff5450what makes you think 20 yrs old will want to marry you?

[@levismirnoff5450]

@@Nordic1133 That is not the point. Men set themselves up for life failure by accepting the timeline of particularly Westernized or East Asian feminist women resulting in them getting into marriages where she is settling having done all crazy things in the past resulting in fun + sexless marriages only for the benefit of her social standing and monetary interest. It's not based on genuine attraction but rational choice at that point which is why the man will most likely be required to negotiate for his interest within relationships. That is why for these men long lists of demands exist, it is a negotiated relationship. Alpha gets it for free, beta has to pay. And pay they do, top dollar for the worst experience out of all men she has been with. The older men get, the higher the need to leave at any time, which is impossible within marriage in some countries even cohabitation. In the end only one strategy can win and in that case its hers.

[@user-jg5xm8um8y]

Another useful analogy from Orion 🙌 I think I’ve been dealing with a woman who is vascillating between deciding to hit or stand. She seemed to enjoy her last interaction with me, but the cards I hold are not strong enough. A post from X has been a useful “mantra” the past 2 weeks. Something like “She has more options than you can imagine. Your only option is to improve yourself.”

[@DEadSpaCE211]

I've found girls have many options for sex but really not that many in terms of a relationship with the guy they want. They'll stay with the high level guy just to see if they'll get a relationship.

[@bkanegson]

This game of hypergamy is a one way trip in my book. Once she makes the leap, takes the risk and goes bust, she's irreversibly burned the bridge, No negotiation, no going back. On you, sister. Enjoy sleeping in the new bed you made.

[@fawzibouretal9839]

U dont realize most of the times u wont even know about it , she ll make the leap sleep in the other bad and comes back in the bridge uknowingly to u

[@SusanVivian-g3l]

This intriguing video serves as a poignant reminder of the heartache I've been enduring since my 7 year relationship came to an end 3 months ago. My cherished partner, the love of my life, made the difficult decision to part ways, leaving me consumed by thoughts of him. Despite my earnest attempts to win him back, I find myself facing frustration and an overwhelming sense of emptiness, unable to envision a life without his presence. Despite my efforts to move on , I'm compelled to confess my lingering feelings and longing for him here .

[@amos-h5q]

I found myself in a comparable predicament when my 4 year relationship came to an end. I exhausted every avenue to reunite with her, eventually turning to a spiritual advisor for guidance, whose intervention bring us back.

[@SusanVivian-g3l]

How did you manage to connect with a spiritual counselor, and what's the process for me to reach out to her?

[@amos-h5q]

Releasing the grip on someone dear is always tough, but in my scenario, I was fortunate to have the counsel of a spiritual guide who preserved my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@SusanVivian-g3l]

I'm thankful for this guidance. I'll immediately search for her online.

[@shishram163]

I thought he wasn’t going to upload today-love the consistency! Keep it up..

[@DEEPAKKUMAR-ch6cb]

Yes!!

[@neilcharlton]

“Men are in love” “women are in business !”

[@user-nz6tq3vc5u]

Then why are women considered emotional and illogical

[@AA86420]

Exactly​@@user-nz6tq3vc5u

[@fromgermany271]

@@user-nz6tq3vc5u Distraction!

[@csmith9699]

Depends on the individuals. Why is this being left out. Far too simplistic

[@fromgermany271]

@@user-nz6tq3vc5u Always depends on what fits best.

[@InvincibleExtremes]

I like this comparison... food for thought, men's standards aren't superficial. If they are to be expected to take the burden of later life women's health costs... they reasonably expect the woman to also give them her best years too... ie her 20s

[@NilsMacQ]

If you're dealing with a flakey argumentative woman, she just doesn't respect you and is not that in to you. Stick around the places where you can be the contextual alfa. These two points keep things so nice and simple. Upholding your own values will help make sure your esteem is based on you, not another human especially a woman.

[@BasementBerean]

6:30 George Gilder developed this "contextual Alpha" strategy in a book called "Men and Marriage" back in the 1980's. It is still in print. I read the book as a young bachelor, and unwittingly applied this strategy and got to marry a beautiful, smart, kind, woman and stay married for 17 years.

[@Wittyklef]

How did you do it Help a griefing brother

[@BasementBerean]

@@Wittyklef I was on the leadership team of a church. The point, according to George Gilder, is to be a leader of other men in a context a woman respects. Examples are: leader of the band, officer in the military, manager at a company, or some other civilized way to be a leader, or as this video says "alpha" among other men.

[@knightmer3645]

WOW, I didn't expect it at all but this helped me get over a breakup a lot faster than I believed... Realizing it MIGHT have had something to do with me not being enough, but also her thinking she can do better, made me feel a lot better. Thank you man !

[@xandermidov]

In Russia, we are often refer to "The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish" by Pushkin. It's the story about old woman, that always wanted more. All women in Russia know this story, and always do the same in their life. They always hit, and often loose.

[@fromgermany271]

There is a maybe similar tail in „Grimm‘s Märchen“, a German fairytale collection. Doesn’t help either 😅

[@mystykalmn4434]

Remember to always focus on yourself, control what is within you or within your reach, don't try to take care of someone who didn't want to be take care of.

[@kriskross63]

I don‘t want to focus on myself! This is completely annoying. I want to focus on my girl, my family, my children. I am happy with myself, and don‘t need or want any silly ‚improvements‘. I really start hating this paroles „focus on yourself!“ that‘s the straight way to hell

[@kaanyldz4814]

​@@kriskross63 lmao simp

[@michaelcavalier8750]

Although no one ever seems to mention this, men settle too. First of all, I think that it's best to realistically assess yourself. If you want to have a chance at a happy relationship, I think that the key is an attitude adjustment. If you constantly think that you "settled", you will not be content and probably should have stayed single. No one is ever going to find a partner perfect in all ways.

[@romancandlefight1144]

Men "settle" for an uglier one with a tolerable personality towards them. But it's usually not really their choice: the crazy hotter ones just weren't going to act right. They (women) don't respect them (men). They (women) want someone "better", more arrogant and confident, even if they (women) don't have the guts to leave

[@stratdaddy]

@@romancandlefight1144​I feel like a woman could make the same argument for why settling isn’t her choice. Ie “the crazy hot ones were just never going to act right” etc

[@bearclaw5115]

Of course men settle, that's the definition of staying committed. The key difference is that men are less likely to try to hit the dealer for another card!

[@stratdaddy]

@ Is that necessarily true?

[@mudodo1]

Although you say this message is directed at young men, I am middle-aged and find value in your videos. I wish these kind of videos were available when I was much younger. I wouldn't have made so many mistakes. I take comfort from the fact that I have two sons that I can share this content with. Thank you.

[@Lawrence_of_Asia]

This would explain men wanting to take their girls out of the city and the women wanting to live in the city

[@courtrye]

Excellent observation

[@SD-mi2vc]

Only game i am playing is Tekken 8.

[@YesNo-qb9vl]

Zeta male

[@davbro9120]

At least you can win sometimes with Tekken!

[@plainluke722]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@tarunsohail4940]

@@davbro9120😂😂😂

[@andradsound]

And you're probably losing as well 🤣

[@thankyouforinfo]

what a G bro, what an epic G, combing stoicism, zen, psychology and many theories at once, dammmmmnn

[@ChocolateCherub2765]

Orion you are exactly right. It made perfect sense once you explained it. Thank you as always for giving me something to think about.😊

[@eeronat]

So long as there are simps, they can always go back to the previous hand and draw another card. If it is a bust, they can keep playing.

[@js1024]

@@eeronat you are right bc I see it with my own eyes. But we can punish simps as society so they will know that after they will be rejected. Something similar that happened before with ho3s (nowadays lefties woke tried so hard to limit this effect calling this shitty behaviour something empowering)

[@robertsnell9294]

This is good. An instructive analogy about mate-finding. But I am now going to find another video to learn about blackjack.

[@dinsel9691]

This analogy is spot on.. but you only looked at it from the angle of initial decision to begin the relationship. I would just like to add that, once the relationship has begun, her game of blackjack does NOT stop. She will throw tantrums when she does not get her way, she will threaten to leave if you don't do more for her, she will cry if you don't buy her that handbag, she will stop having sex with you if she disagrees with you etc etc.... she will constantly keep trying to get more and more and always risking "busting" the relationship with incessant demands. This is why as a man, you have to set a clear limit with her, and be ready to kick her to the curb if she dares challenge that limit... Don't bluff, she will call your bluff. DO IT

[@justinsautter]

What a fantastic and simple analogy for such a complex topic for many men. Thanks for the video and insight!

[@seand9741]

I think this is one of your best vids yet.

[@KJThePublicist]

Women will have 18-20 (a near perfect hand) correlating to 80-90% of everything on their list and they'll still "Hit" to get the remaining 10-20%....then BUST...and think its the dealer's problem(the dating market) not their own playing ability (looks, SMV, etc.)

[@nobody123-b5r]

I JUST BOUGHT YOUR BOOK I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!!!

[@joschuatabani7207]

These analogies are something else doc 🤯

[@Mr1Tanker]

Man..as usual, a perfect analogy!!

[@dalac_93]

I needed you more than you know about 8 months ago lol thank you Doc

[@gepardtilly]

Great metaphor, people seem to understand and respond to it. Well done.

[@animamagna3077]

My ex, who is now 29, recently admitted, a year after our breakup, that there were "many good things and many faults on her part" in our 7-year relationship. However, she's still not ready to commit to another man or to come back to me. I wonder at what age women realize they can't keep endlessly seeking perfection and need to appreciate what they have.

[@bearclaw5115]

You are lowering your value in her eyes just by talking to her. It sounds like she knows she has an open door with you and is happy to look for other options as you stand there getting cold.

[@LocPham-kw5ut]

she's keeping you in the backup zone brother, she has zero interest in you and knows she can go back to you anytime she wants. And it's all your fault because you are allowing her to do so. Walk away and never look back, no talk, no chit chat, respect your precious time and mental energy. Make her pay the consequence of her choice. After she reaches 30 and starts losing value, we will see who needs who.

[@robruss62]

Never

[@Nordic1133]

Never, single and free is the best!

[@Zachmegoodin]

Men 40 and over jump at the opportunity to date an attractive 30 year old. She still has a big pool of options. I'd say if you want her back, move on and find someone else. If she sees you as having options, she'll reevaluate how she treats you.

[@Gumblethebear]

"now she's over 21"...... that hit kinda different.

[@sauravbanerjee3552]

I thought he was going to say now she's over 30

[@malekhakim7436]

21 likes 😅

[@snowdaniels]

please keep the likes at 21 😭🙏

[@Gumblethebear]

@@snowdaniels LOL. That works.

[@Nordic1133]

We're not in the middle ages! You can keep dreaming of marring pure young 18 yrs virgin but you know that will never happen. Keep dreaming boys 😂

[@richiovellix493]

This is great advice ...IF you're looking for a partner... And if you're in your twenties , thirties and '40s for some, you don't need any of that right now.... But if you must have someone then try the Good Drs. ways, at 50 of course....

[@IvoBlagov]

Great analogy! As usual very useful and well-formulated content

[@reddragon9182]

your channel is on fire and growing like crazy, keep up the quality content!

[@fireflamefine625]

Somebody should clip this and then paint him as if he said women hit the wall at 21. Actually don't do that We love this guy. 2:36

[@slartibartfast2452]

True. As we all know, that given health and sti stats, as well as partner count; realistically it's more like 23.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

This is why "The Wall" is important. Without The Wall, women could end up never making a decision about who to reproduce with. But as women approach The Wall their hand is forced and they have to decide: 1. be single and "happy" but pine for Chad, or 2. settle downwards with a beta provider who they'll end up divorcing in 10 years time.

[@Pride0FTh3Lion]

I agree up to the settling point. Women aren’t settling. They’re getting who they qualify for.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@Atashireality You don't understand the concept of The Wall. The Wall is about her comparing the amount of male attention/interest she gets at 35 years old versus the amount of male attention/interest she was getting at 20 years old. Its not about comparing apples with oranges.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@Pride0FTh3Lion The problem is they see it as settling downwards after being alpha-widowed by Chad and Tyrone.

[@malakatan3235]

​@@Atashirealityyeah becoming toilet😂

[@Wong-Jack-Man]

There is a biological wall and a looks wall. Nothing is worse than going out on a date from meeting a girl online only to find out the pic was is exceeded the statute of limations. Big turn off is seeing crowsfeet, neck wrinkles. When young men see that its an inatant turn off.

[@brunomadeira8432]

The problem is that nowadays the ladies keep playing blackjack after the game is settled. You can even be a 21 and some ladies think they have a chance on improving that.

[@Viviannngo]

Wow this is a great metaphor, Orion!!! Speaking as a female, I thoroughly enjoy all of your content and your unique point of views / ability to express yourself so clearly and articulately. Thank you for being you!! :D

[@e.goldstein1972]

The dealer is not men who they are not dating. The dealer is other women who they are in competition against. Men are the cards. Some men are 10s and others are 2s.

[@manuelmorales515]

Dead on. The problem for us guys is pride. We see this vacilation as not being good enough. We should think of it in terms "time is in our side."

[@naturabeach]

Same for high value men who have a lot of options. Thankfully, men have much more time for this game

[@nathanbanks2354]

This makes more sense to me than the boating/captain analogy. Maybe it's because I know more about boating than blackjack.

[@alexvega7893]

As a degenerate gambler myself….I’ve observed women gamblers and they are more easily willing to risk it all to improve their hand, bluff, or just simply try to win at all cost

[@heliumcalcium396]

That's fascinating, because psychologists say that women are more averse to risk than men are. Maybe it's a selection effect: the only women you see at the poker table are the ones who are rich enough that the table looks cheap to them, and the ones who have _really_ been bitten by the bug.

[@henryskupek2673]

Love the analogy. Perfectly explained. Thank you

[@rodaraguz]

I've never thought of this analogy but its been there all along.

[@definitelynotmyhandle]

Men can also play blackjack. And they don't bust until 50.

[@Astrochimp88]

i was going to comment something along this lines, but i took a moment and i dont really think its the same proposition. Its not that you are wrong, at this point the man also start to lose some value, but the range of value man can hold more often than not will make he maintain way more value than the female counterpart that was proposed. The money, social ability and social position, generosity and previous experiences aren't going anywhere, if anything they will compound. We have the old guys with the boat that is almost a meme after all, and the cougar is not a meme of someone who get married.

[@croissants1280]

That's a comforting thought, but the reality doesn't agree with you. An over 40 guy on a dating app is effectively invisible to an under 30 women - no matter how nice your boat is.

[@JoseLopez-eo4ze]

Busting at 50? When you're an experienced licensed Lawyer making 500k - $1M a year? Tons of properties? This will heavily depend honestly.

[@Xenozillex]

Nope. You just attract a different breed of women (gold diggers). You will never get the puppy-dog eyes of genuine female attraction.

[@marktapley7571]

@@croissants1280 40-45 are the best age for men. If the man is in the bottom 60% in attractiveness it doesn’t help them just to be young. Women are only after the top 10-15%.

[@Newtorin]

Amazing as always!

[@SteveJones379]

Great metaphorical story! Thanks!! ☮

[@tyler.w123]

Women play by "the grass is greener on the other side" instead of "the grass is greener where you water"

[@DNHarris]

In the long run the house always wins.

[@KO-771]

Everything in life is risky. Let me tell you how risky it is. You're not getting out alive! ~ Mr. Jim Rohn

[@larryrobx]

"Five to one, baby, one in five; No one here gets out alive." (Mr. Jim Morrison)

[@peteringersoll1247]

Accurate metaphor! Thank you.

[@platinumcontent9]

Ladies the closer you get to busting, you will likely reach the point of no return. Us guys are very familiar with this concept

[@Terrapin47-s8y]

Lol

[@Nordic1133]

But why settle with someone you can't stand? I'd rather be alone.

[@MSimky]

Isn’t this true for men also?

[@danrowe79]

Great analogy. Numbers are numbers; they represent their true values with no interpretation. I would argue that human values are subject to perceptual bias, and how we present our "values" to others, not deceptively but in ways to make others better understand (clearly) who we are in their perception. You've touched upon this previously, and it would be great to hear your thoughts again on these dynamics. Thanks.

[@FrancisFCopp]

Orion, another way a woman can go “bust” is by moving into a relationship with a man who is a little *too* well put together, and I’ve realised that women will often self-reject rather than risk busting by becoming involved with an attractive man who more than ticks all her boxes but (in her mind) will inevitably get bored of her and press “hit” himself once the novelty wears off. It wasn’t until it this was explained to me point blank by a woman I was seeing that some of the bizarre behaviour i had experienced from women who clearly liked me began to make some sense. The sad thing about it is that I actually quite liked these women, and it is almost entirely their own insecurity that drives it - hence it is impossible to address logically and reassure them. And the brutal truth of the matter is that…..they were probably right. I think women can actually quite accurately perceive their own value realistically enough to protect themselves, and these women perhaps knew that once I saw behind the smoke and mirrors, there just wasn’t enough there to keep me around. Interesting

[@Mattheus217]

Although women may complain that a man’s concern for her appearance is “superficial”, it’s what speaks to him. Notice how it is deflecting and blaming to switch the focus off her. It is normal to be attracted to beautiful things. Even babies are. What you like and want is what you like. I think part of the pushback is that it takes work and intention to take care of yourself and your health and fitness. It is work and diligence. No slacking, excuses, victim talk. Plus this is used to shame and insult men. But if you were to shame or insult what a woman prefers, she would freak out, bash and emasculate you more. There is nothing wrong with valuing yourself and who you are with, and taking good care of your mind, body, and spirit. I think this femine complaint also is to give them a pass to slack off. She shows you her best, then you get married and she stops all that and only gives you crumbs. Then she wants YOU to be your best for her, but she will just coast and spend your money.

[@LisaCulton]

Smart women know that men are attracted to beauty and maintain their attractiveness. The women who are complaining are simply lazy and don't want to put effort into their appearance.

[@michaelgarrow3239]

If it flys, flirts, or floats; rent don’t buy.

[@christianrodriguez5346]

I would say fellas do not settle young. My dad was perfect in my mom’s eyes young. The moment she started earning more than him she started treating him bad and had an affair with someone at work. She got burnt by the affair guy and went running back to my dad. My dad made a mistake letting her back in. Why I shared this? Women naturally will cheat or look for someone better when they feel they can. Hence why learn how to be alone and grow physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc. when you are at your best you hold all the power and can attract a pretty good amount. At the moment I look good physically and emotionally really mature at 22. I attract a good amount of them atm and quality ones. I am working on the financial part though. So I just talk to them but I don’t want commitment. I don’t want anything serious until I am at my peak. I will take my time.

[@anjunatuna]

Well played. No notes. 🎬

[@codewarrior5229]

It also helps if you have a lot of chips

[@computerhelpcc]

Excellent. Practical. Ethical.

[@nchambers007]

How to stack the deck at blackjack (both sexes). Three things: 1 - become a 10 card yourself. You are your own first card (become a genuinely High Value person not an imitation aka High "Status" person). The higher VALUE you are as a person - NOT higher STATUS - the more you'll get dealt better cards, and the less likely that (when you Stand) it will 'feel like' Settling. Even if technically it may be true because in this game there are no aces dealt. 2 - avoid decks that are running cold (modeling & acting industries, bars, dance clubs, strip clubs, tattoo parlors, smoke shops, partiers, septum rings, stewardesses, single moms that aren't widows, sluts, drinkers, drug users). This means avoid Low Value environments and people ... even if they are High STATUS. 3 - get to tables that are frequently running hot, because the decks are stacked there. It can be as simple as wholesome activities with groups of wholesome people. Then step up and make yourself useful / become more service minded / think of others first more often.

[@heliumcalcium396]

When I think of playing blackjack in a casino, the first thing that springs to my mind is that if I play intelligently, I will be treated like a criminal.

[@heartofinfinity]

Perfect analogy.

[@JoshuaDavis-yi9ts]

Never been so early, happy Dr. Tarban is giving a frame work for women to succeed. May all get what they want, so they know if they truly wanted it. Best wishes folks!

[@LisaCulton]

He's basically saying to be fearful and settle.

[@ginger1854]

@@LisaCulton Orion is warning women, and it applies to men also but less so, that there is inherent risk of trying to trade up. He isn't instilling fear, rather he is actually giving sage advice.

[@LisaCulton]

@@ginger1854 Nonsense. We older women know better. Ladies, do not be fearful. There's nothing to lose by refusing to settle for a man towards whom you are not attracted and in the meantime, using your time to improve yourself, build your career, health, net worth and network. (Just like men do). Along the way, the right man will appear. If not, I see some women going ahead and starting their families by using sperm donation. They're happy with their children and even if it's not ideal, at least there's not some man whining about how you're going to "ruin" him in a divorce.

[@Docinaplane]

Man goes to God and asks, "Why did you make women so sexy?" "So you would like them" "And why did you make them so beautiful?" "So you would love them." "Then why did you make them so stupid?" "So they would love you!"

[@_ra9____]

Question: How to improve your value proposition as a man and how to create opportunities to be a contextual alpha?

[@IndigoWisdom1]

True. Yet some women do not like playing & opt out of this game and/or are not really good at competing. We know men will sleep with us but know that getting the relationship we want might be out of reach at a certain point (usually when we value it most).

[@dougk7075]

Another good video. As to superficiality, yes sometimes that can be overemphasized, but sometimes it nice to be around someone who takes care of themselves and maybe has a little pride in their appearance and overall health-especially when we get past 50. Not everyone will qualify as a Lamborghini, even at their best/prime, but if one, and this goes both ways, would make a more consistent effort to “get it together” and “keep it together,” I think both men and women would get along much better. For most of us a better life takes a better effort. Good luck to all.

[@mojoknows66]

Well said. I agree it is much more challenging to do so after 50.

[@etuitivemillionaire]

“Dating is a game of poker. It's all about playing your cards intelligently, even if you must bluff about your hand. Playing hard to get is the bluff. Even if you want to throw all your chips in on the first hand, bluffing increases a man's interest in The Game. You keep the valuable cards close to test his ability to invest. It increases your demand in his eyes because he can't read your cards or your poker face. It also gives you a chance to see what he brings to the table.” By Leandra De Andrade, This Girl's Got Game

[@etuitivemillionaire]

Doc turned a quote from a book into an episode 😂

[@paulds65]

Most valuable card a woman has is her looks. Men do not invest in women, we spend on women. It´s called acceptable loss. The doctor also has an episode on this.

[@IMYOURMAJESTY92]

Yes until you hold your cards and hit 30 and he's gone to the table for a new set of hands 😂😂😂

[@CabbagePatchkid-r8e]

This is a prime example of women keeping other women single with bad advice. Playing hard to get makes a woman impossible to want.

[@AmeliaStormbanks-mz5vv]

Can you please share if you can the ebook by Leandra

[@matthewbisso8852]

I like the blackjack analogy.

[@greginland8873]

Love the analogy. 👍

[@andrispitysingh4996]

Hey Dr. Taraban, big fan of your videos. Think a nice follow-up for this video could be "All Men play Poker". For several reasons 1. Men aren't encouraged to show much emotion. 2. We're mostly judged on how many resources we have. 3. We have to play with the hands we're dealt in both the game and life. 4. What cards are dealt on the table influences how we play. Looking forward to seeing it if you decide to make the video.

[@dead_art]

I don't play card games, so I don't get both metaphors except concealing emotions in poker, but artistically this couple of gambling references for two sexes would look cool.

[@natasza.mroczek]

How are you always so righteous ??

[@ChrisKimDMD]

No point in complaining how nature and reality is like, you just have to cope and deal with it, if you want to get anywhere.

[@Coover90210]

Very interesting. You said the factors were her cards and the dealers show card but - unlike the casino - in life there is the third variable: time. With every year of aging the woman's odds of successfully hitting decrease by just a little. I don't think I'd want a partner who was perpetually "on the fence", but from a game theory perspective - if a man thinks he might have " out kicked his coverage" - the longer he can keep her at least on the fence, the more likely she'd conclude standing/settling was her best option. Super interesting. ( And its all reproductive evolution when you boil it down ...ability to provide, healthy genetics expressed as attractiveness, optimal age for healthy child bearing/rearing, etc.)

[@somedude4652]

Daily dose of reality!

[@xeruen]

Hey 👋 Doc you back from Japan?