Supporting Loved One with BPD Quickstart Guide

[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswjrrtb03o8wIMjEBhhnfVL0&si=lxGWRRxQT5ZjAHc0 ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@sk_lxr2920]

I met a girl with bpd a couple months ago. she's the most mature, kindest, most awesome person out there. she mentioned that she has it in passing. I'm glad that she's very communicative with me and we already have some things established for when her mood is down (I knew she was unstable emotionally but didn't know why. she also tends to deal with it on her own and I really want to help her), but I'm preparing in case I ever am the person helping her through a crisis or just in general. thank you for this video.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video and for sharing. Make sure to wrote down the information you find most useful. Also, if you meed help with finding videos in the video library, don’t hesitate to use my AI for free: allceus.com/DocSnipes-AI

[@laceawho3530]

As a person diagnosed with BPD, we are still also responsible for our treatment and growth. It needs to be both.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@davegayaldo]

good point

[@glee_again2594]

I pray my adult child gets to this place. You sound like you’re trying your best in this. Keep up the good work!

[@anomalousoddity]

Also as someone with BPD, yep! I have no agency if I'm not leading on my own recovery. I'm constantly in victim mode.

[@margrose5]

Bless you. My dil has symptoms of this, and it is causing such pain in our family. My heart goes out to her and my son and the children. I want to help her. I pray she comes to self realization as you have. Thank you for sharing.

[@clouddancer46]

To anyone who learns about and supports those challenged with borderline personality disorder, thank you. 💗

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@izzy2335]

I was recently diagnosed and have been doing a lot of research that has been wildly validating. My bf even on his own volition was looking up articles and videos like these and will send some to me and then we'll talk about it later that day and what is pertinent to me or what would really help or whatever. He's a sweet bean

[@yanni246]

This 😢❤

[@cassihormel1517]

Comments like this from BPD’s is what keeps me close to my forever that is struggling with this horrible disorder. It’s heartbreaking to think about partners walking away from someone that truly needs them

[@ssjasonlopez]

@@cassihormel1517 A lot of us that try to support our loved one with this can only handle so much. It’s not officially diagnosed but I’m fairly certain my spouse suffers this disorder. There has been infidelity, terrible deception and abuse throughout the years. She now knows what it is but refuses to get help.

[@nikhook1114]

Thank you for your video. I've been with my undiagnosed BPD wife for over 35 years. The changes in behavior are drastic and frequent, often, many times per day without apology ever. I cannot bring up the words " get help" without a complete denile and then blame and devaluing me. I have learned to stay calm and set boundaries and not blame. I do believe some people are on a much deeper spectrum than others. I've heard bits and peices of this advice for years and try my best to listen and validate her feelings. What always amazes me is when we go to visit friends or relatives, she can behave for the most part normal, most of the time BUT as soon as we get in the car to go home it starts immeadiatly. She has horrible anxiety and I feel for her and try to rationalize the situations to little or no avail. For my own sanity, I walk away from the situations many times as she has no regard for my feelings. Which makes no sense because if she has such strong feelings/emotions herself and is hurt, why can't she see and feel how it hurts me or others??? The constant gas lighting, manipulation and devaluing is so hurtful and exhausting and I have no help or friends to talk to. Our grown children don't even want to hear it. They don't enjoy visiting us because theve lived it too. Yet nobody gets punished more than me. My kids tell me it's OK to divorce her. That's not really what I want. I can see she has really lost hope and so have I lately. This is just the tip of the iceberg. So much pain for both us. The good days are few and far in between.

[@DocSnipes]

I am so sorry you are going through that and I appreciate you watching the video. Maybe the videos on DBT would help your wife: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT

[@nikhook1114]

@Doc Snipes Thank you for your reply, I really didn't expect one. Is there one video you can suggest that might get thru to her as she is in complete denile. It's like it has become worse with time, probably because I refuse to give her constant adulation. She now thinks I hate her and continues to manipulate and I won't bite. I am open to talking to her but she has to come to the table and speak honestly with respect for me, not a devaluing conversation toward me....but she can't do it at all. So lately we don't talk much. She must be in some serious pain and so am I.

[@tanner8288]

Shit man, you tell us then....was it worth it?

[@nikhook1114]

@Tanner Short answer NO. But we have 4 children and I didn't want my children growing up with her terrible attitude and not seeing what it's like to have a loving person in the life daily.

[@tanner8288]

@@nikhook1114 the girl I'm supporting isn't diagnosed with anything that I know of. So I can't officially say she has BPD. However the relating stories here in comments and the video alike, strongly correlated to the behavior she's demonstrated to me over the past two years.

[@nefwaenre]

Been diagnosed a long time ago, with little to no relief in therapy (doc won't listen to me and just gave me mood stabilisers, and anti psychotic medicines). The therapist didn't even want to work with traumas that i went through that i need closure for, and he shamed me the same way my mom shames me for, practically everything. So i'm watching this and other videos of yours to help me help myself. Thank you.

[@WatchDisplay]

I’m sorry you had that experience with your therapist. I highly recommend trying to look for another therapist that will take the time to discuss and attempt to dissolve some of the unsettled traumas you have experienced. I work in mental health and I always say therapists and providers are not created equally. Try to find a therapist and provider that will take the time to help you heal. Shaming a patient is a definite no no. Good luck in your mental health journey and I hope you find a supportive therapist that you deserve.

[@Prudenthermit]

@@WatchDisplay many of us are underemployed n rely on charitable services that are under qualified n don't allow for much choice about who we see or what kinds of therapy we do. Unfortunate circumstances all around cause they make it clear they don't want to see us either lol

[@nefwaenre]

@@Prudenthermit Exactly. i fully agree with you. i have been unemployed for some time now (since c-19). So, seeking therapy would be a privilege at this point. And so when i do get to therapy and that happens, why should i waste my money, right?

[@mistsister]

@KJ When it is all you can afford it absolutely is. I will get better even if it means i am the only one that can do it for myself.

[@Ps53245]

Sorry to hear about your situation, best advice I can give you is to find another therapist who specialises in BDP and that is also a clinical psychologist etc

[@s-lowe-ks9220]

Thank you for this video Doc. Its left me feeling like hugging my bpd loved one right away. I can't help but feel nothing but compssion for my loved one right now. This is very hard for those that care for them.

[@dawnfetchko5501]

Many thanks for the great video! I extend love and support to my fellow BPD survivors, as every day can be a struggle, and every morning means we survived another day. When we say life is pain, that it actually hurts... it does. It's not attention seeking... it's real. People with BPD can detect anger when someone is only 30% angry... for people without BPD, they can't detect anger until someone is about 70% angry. Imagine going through life not only without a sense of self, but even if you do everything right, all you see is anger surrounding you 70% of the time. God forbid you do something wrong. It's terrifying. The way people react to us causes PTSD. We withdraw, spiral, lash out, and even appear to be many different people in a day. It isn't fun. We gain no pleasure from being this way, especially when we spiral. Many of us just want to be loved and reassured. ... To the people here who are supportive, understanding, and are watching this to try to better understand and help the people in your lives with BPD... thank you so much. ... To the people here who are whining that people with BPD are narcissistic and are doing this to you on purpose, if you have someone with BPD in your life and you really feel that way, you are part of the problem... either listen to the video and try to be a good support person... or get the heck away from us. We recover, survive, and persevere much better without someone who is constantly creating an invalidating, passive-aggressive, environment and making us feel 100 times worse than we already do. You will never beat us up as much as we beat ourselves up. So just quit... really.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for sharing and for watching. What is your favorite tip from the video, a tip you find extremely helpful in supporting someone with BPD?

[@dpetinatos]

Hahaha! I love this comment! " ... to the people who think we are narcissistic...you are part of the problem!" I had been hearing this for two years until I discovered that they are narcissistic! The pop culture believes that the only disorder around is only one and people used it as an accusation or insult. First, we should understand that mental or personal disorders have been acting as a protection towards the fear of pain and may look opposite of what one is afraid of happening to him or her. Second, there are 3 clusters and, at least, 3 disorders in each cluster. Good luck discovering the right one even without comorbities.

[@agoodgurl2k]

All of your content is such a blessing! With cPTSD I have found that I need to be my own best advocate and protector. Being proactive with my dysregulated emotions and not getting stuck on others understanding or supporting me. These symptoms are really hard for anyone to understand unless they've experienced them firsthand or highly sympathetic.

[@mistsister]

That is important, to change ourselves despite who will or won't support us. My husband is a wonderful human being but he is autistic and will never be able to support me in the way that my cptsd and bpd require. It is up to me to learn how to thrive so that we can both thrive, and that should be extended to everyone else in my life.

[@agoodgurl2k]

@@mistsister I totally appreciate your reply. Thank you and I wish you the best.

[@hollyhobbles4790]

Very well said. So true

[@ArtfulRe]

As I research BPD (someone I know was recently diagnosed) I'm noticing a lot of overlap with cPTSD (which I have)

[@ArtfulRe]

This is so true! Hopefully people become more understanding, but we all are responsible for our own lives and making them better

[@khoakdoan]

I was the most patient person she had ever met, I learned everything I could about her BPD to thoroughly understand and comprehend her feelings. But none of it mattered because I triggered something when I asked for time for myself and she must've felt abandoned. She hopped into a new relationship right after me, they're so confusing.

[@DocSnipes]

I am so sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Here’s the video on hearing after a breakup: kzbin.info/www/bejne/boC9lYetm8dlg80

[@Enas.mzaini]

He did the same to me 😢 They got engaged immediately 💔

[@karinr8659]

I myself have BPD. I’m sorry for your pain. But not all persons with BPD will abandon their partner. When I read your comment I sympathised with you especially since you were so patient. People with BPD need to do the work and learn to be patient.

[@danab172]

I have Bpd or tendencies. And I've gone many years of living alone. I lived literally all alone without family and friends. So.... not everyone with this stress disorder from trauma.. turns to relationships after relationship to fulfill a void. Hell, I practically fall into schizoid category.

[@huguesfereau1011]

I relate to that. Sorry for your situation

[@NottaSoul1]

As someone with BPD I like dr Snipes. She’s gentle.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for your kind words and for watching the video

[@andreagrace1111]

My spouse had BPD and ur videos are truly helping rm be a better partner and saving our relationship

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching!Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT

[@justinfoley3325]

I have been working with my therapist for a year and a half now and she has given me the awareness of this condition I struggle with. I shared this video with my supports, so that they can better understand what’s going on internally for myself. I’m still learning, growing and healing. Thank you for this information, it’s accurate and extremely helpful. There is a lot of misinformation out there floating around, and that makes it even more challenging for the general public to understand.

[@DocSnipes]

It's wonderful to hear that you've been working with your therapist for so long and that it's helping you gain awareness and understanding of your condition. Sharing this video with your support system is a great way to help them understand what you're going through. I'm glad you found the information accurate and helpful. Misinformation can indeed make things more challenging, so it's important to rely on credible sources. Also, I'd love to hear what you found most helpful in the video. Additionally, if you're interested in learning more on the topic or want to explore additional videos, please check out my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Keep learning, growing, and healing-you're doing an amazing job. Thank you for your kind words.

[@bonnykiser]

This is a godsend! I feel the info in this video will help with our 28 year old adult child living at home. His trigger is exhaustion after work and when we offer help and he becomes "dependent" on someone. Thank you for suggesting journaling. This could be a huge part of celebrating the progres. Can't say thank you enough for putting this video together for caregivers! I can now handle the episodes in a way that won't make things worse.

[@DocSnipes]

Glad the video was helpful. Thanks for watching.

[@miagonzo5522]

this is literally so perfect. thank you for this. all my life i have been trying to get people to understand...

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@bemad7886]

My partner has BPD and it has been an absolute struggle because of how bad they have it. This video helps alot. Im doing my best not to hurt them and learn their triggers properly.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching the video

[@lynettecaballero1660]

It is exhausting to empower and support a bpd with narc tendencies. It ends up all about them,a 1 sided relationship.anyone else experience this?

[@shadowfax9177]

Yes I have. Get out if you can. Even with therapy they don't seem to get better.

[@jolenereader5527]

As someone that has struggled or cursed if you will, with borderline. Saying, get out,is such a cruel thing to say. I know we are difficult but we are not all the same. I don’t know your exact circumstances. Love was a very hard one for me because I had never felt it. But once I learned it and understood how to give and receive it. Things started getting better. If you can hold on and find help on how to handle somebody with borderline personality disorder. Your relationship with that person can become very rewarding. I have been married 28 year’s now to a man that has loved me unconditionally. I would not be alive today without him. Things are not perfect. But we are a team and we work on this disorder together. So in my case I would say with confidence that it was worth it to my husband to stay with me. I am so grateful for that and I love him so much.

[@shadowfax9177]

My comment stands.

[@jolenereader5527]

@@shadowfax9177 I can appreciate that. If they are not willing to get help. But It is hard to be stereotyped. You have to want to get better to beat this disorder. Some of us can change but it takes a lot of support, hard work and a good therapist. If the person is abusive and is not willing to change .Then yes, you should probably leave to save yourself. It was just hard to read your comment because we are not all the same.

[@shadowfax9177]

@@jolenereader5527 you are taking it way too personal. The original comment was talking about a bpd with narc tendencies and her description sounds very toxic, much like the relationship I was in with a narc. Nothing to do with you at all.

[@ArtfulRe]

This is so helpful and actually practical! I even took notes (which I don't normally do). Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@CadmusAU]

OMG - im only at 5:44 and this is the best video explaining what its like for us who are cursed with this illness. Since my last episode two mondays ago - my best friend hasnt spoken to me and that in itself has given multiple mini episodes like after quakes every day - gets worse when i see they have read the message but not spent 2 mins to reply 😞

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry your best friend hasn’t spoken to you since your last episode and I appreciate you watching the video

[@isaiahsdead]

Could you do a video on how to calm ourselves when helping a loved one with bpd I often find myself getting tied into the spiral and we both start going down and it just makes everything worse. Thanks for this video it was great.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT

[@MsGRomo-bb7vy]

❤yes please help us too… how do we help ourselves when we feel we’ve hit a brick wall trying to help our loved ones. It’s very hurtful to love someone who can be so cold at times and who isn’t remorseful for their behavior. I understand it’s hard for them of course, but as a parent just trying to help them and make them understand it’s important to get help and their refusal cuts very deep 😢

[@ssjasonlopez]

Yes, me too!!!

[@hildamarlopez1939]

It's mentally draining trying to maintain calm while they are spiraling out on the outside

[@Hashnastty]

This!!!!

[@GnosisMan50]

A family member has BPD and for the life of me, the etiology you provide on it feels very discouraging. My family member has already burnt her bridges with everyone except me but it's really hard to be with her Jeklyill and Hyde behavior. While it's very informative to know and recognize BPD for what it is, finding the right kind of therapy to rise above it leaves a lot to be desired. I fear the worse for her since she does not have healthcare that pays for therapy.

[@Scrapper202]

My wife hasn’t been diagnosed with BPD,but listening and reading about it,it sounds like her to a T,as a child her parents would dump her off on friends for days or weeks at a time,she’s so scared I will abandon her or has accused me of abandoning her in the past,she explodes over the smallest issues or things I might say,before I say anything to her,I have to play it back in my head to make sure it comes out right,then she’ll go days where I’m her knight in shining armor,then something I say or do,I’m scum of the earth for days at a time,when she goes into her dark moods,she will literally physically change,her voice will get a hard edge,her eyes will get dark ,been married 32 years,the first 15 years were fantastic,after that it’s been emotional roller coaster,this is just a small part of it there’s more

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video

[@Msadel2718]

Thank you. Parents need support too. My daughter (19) loves me/hates me and blames me for everything, even though I have tried to be supportive and nice. It has gotten to the point that she screams in my face and this morning she was pushing me around with her body while screaming and spitting on my face and because she didn't get a rise out of me (I always keep calm and don't raise my voice), she kept screaming at me that I am a f....g coward. I feel like next time she is going to attack me physically and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to be alone with her.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. I will do a video on that soon.

[@brettcordes3602]

I am a father of a 19 year old BPD son. My wife and I (still married) adopted him from a foreign country at 11 months old. I have had to remind my wife that what our son has perpetuated against us is abuse…physical, mental, emotional. We have financial and family support/means and nothing has helped. For me, I find myself in the position where I have to protect us (and our daughter) from him. I know it isn’t “his fault”…but I feel it is time to prioritize our well-being because at this point, if he gets better, it needs to be because he wants to do so. I empathize with you. I’ve destroyed myself empathizing with him, as it seems to have done nothing.

[@mason9872]

​@@brettcordes3602 I wouldn't say abuse but rather fear. Look at what people do when they're afraid, you may not know what it's like to have suicidal thoughts, violent thoughts, letting them pass and feel ashamed and if acted out guilty depending on who is involved. Bpd is the worst because fear of abandonment makes you reject the people closest first. At times I view the people closest as strangers not because I want to but thats how my mind sees them. There's no warm feeling in your chest until you find someone who can put it there and then life gets better until life hits again then the cycle repeats. The issue is the fact our minds can't rationalize issues with our feelings, sometimes I need to do something to get a rise in order to reset myself.

[@hickorysmokedribs]

Thank you so much for this video. You cannot imagine how many lives you have touched with your knowledge.

[@DocSnipes]

I am grateful to have been able to be of service.

[@akeemjack8042]

Been diagnosed recently. thanks

[@jennifertiitinen9006]

My son is highly intelligent and has a mild stutter (used to be worse)so I’m sure that it causes him some anxiety and exhaustion for sure. He changes his words all the time. He rethinks what he’ll say to avoid the stutter. I’ve gone to many conferences for stuttering and had to go out on the streets to talk to random strangers to practice how it feels as just an example how hard it is to see how people view you. It broke my heart how hard it was after many exercises. So my adult son’s diagnosis of bpd is sad. I want to always do what I can an learn to help him be the best he can be.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry your son is struggling with BPD.

[@DocSnipes]

Please feel free to use my AI to learn more on how to best support someone with BPD, how to best address it and to search for videos in the video library: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes

[@enikoszaszko1272]

Thank you very much for this very informative and enjoyable video. Now facing the challenge letting him know I have a strong suspicion he has this BPD, without getting in the maddening-feelslikeneverending-fatiguing maelstrom..

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching

[@nowayitskota]

this is truely amazing. its hard imagining life through my boyfriends life :) thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

[@thatguylando134]

This video is very helpful I got a friend who has bpd and i didn’t have any idea on how to help them until I stumbled across this video I now know what to do to try and help thank you dr snipes

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@TheAriannaStarr]

Thank you I have only in the past few years realised I was in a cycle to explore this further, this is less recognised in Australia. I’m very thankful for this information to assist those near and dear to me. Your delivery could be the answer to my disconnection from family and loved ones to bridge the confusion to a reasoning…as much as I can understand me I still have more to learn. Late diagnosis really is isolating thankyou for helping a community less publicised/understood build awareness. Bless you Dr 👩‍⚕️

[@taylorknox4917]

Thank you, you are fantastic. BPD is Brain disorder first.. The reason it's believed to be from trauma experience is sociatal. Our statistical information is from outwardly acting BPD... Those of us BPD who are undercover never end up in treatment. Thank you! You're Great!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@jessosiyoway]

I appreciate this. It is very useful for supporting our loved ones, but I feel like I still don't have any idea how to actually support holding up boundaries. These episodes of dysregulation lead to what feel like endless fits of violent rage and outbursts which are leaving marks, even blood being drawn, because these methods are just... not enough to come to baseline. In the meantime, there's no getting away. There is *no* making space. Sometimes I feel like the only physical barrier between them and their younger siblings and am, even now, covered in bruises. Every day. I desperately need more than things we've already been told in how to bring them back down. I can't handle much more of being beaten by my own child. They're nearly my size. Nothing works - not fast enough. Therapy is a struggle for three of the therapists because of the pathological tendency to lie that makes navigating support feel like a maze for all support at home, school, and medically. They're still young and can't do anything about it, and I understand that, and am so sorry for what they're going through, but I am asking you with all sincerity to please carve out time to at least discuss the critical and volatile situations families face, because I feel so alone. We all feel alone. Why is talking about it such a taboo to even the mental health professionals? Where are the supports and resources for this? How can I both help someone and not make them feel rejected by even trying to not be hit, kick, pinched, or slapped? If I try to catch their hands or dodge, it sets them off about being hated and that thats worse than them hurting me and words do nothing. I don't know what to do!

[@DocSnipes]

It is never okay for a person to be hitting you. You may want to look for a local, licensed professional counselor. -You can find other therapists via Psychology Today search: allceus.com/Psychology_Today_Therapist_Search -There is a Domestic Violence hotline at: allceus.com/Domestic_Violence_Hotline OR Dial 911 for assistance in the U.S. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@mid70smod17]

The Doc is right that it is never OK for someone to hit you...but it sounds like this is your own CHILD, correct? If so...how young are they?

[@jessosiyoway]

@@mid70smod17 They are eight. Their very young age has presented many challenges in seeking or receiving help, amd an ER was not able to receive someone so young and stated restraining them at home was effectively keeping them alive and others weren't hurt to they point they needed the ER, so they had patients beyond the parents physical capability to control - but putting a child in restraints also seems utterly immoral. They simply don't have the beds and have even more volatile or physically bigger patients to deal with. That was what I was hearing around the time I made this comment. Professionals and emergency workers who wouldn't or couldn't help with a patient so young when teens and adults and other kids are even more desperately in need and there isn't enough space in the mental health system, and at worst, not taking this seriously. Now, this comment was originally made during a spike in explosive episodes, and I am very happy to report that since then and two subsequent attempts at s**cide, and a year's worth of calls and strongly worded demands from a therapist and counselors, their pediatrician finally began taking this seriously. They've been medicated enough to keep impulses under control and make those big emotions a little more manageable. They're finally feeling happier with life... but they aren't happy. I'm very thankful for the team of therapists and counselors working with multiple days a week at this point, and one peer support for myself to have space to speak about these issues and receive licensed support - I'm no longer in the desperate, broken down state I was in when I first wrote this! However, their life will continue to be an ongoing struggle for them. They're learning coping strategies, trying to develop a strong sense of identity and self worth, but all these skills are never enough to overcome an episode, and they burn a lot of bridges and become very isolated. It is a lot for a child to handle. They barely understand it. This early intervention is out best hope to support them in having a life with managed symptoms. It is hard to say what the future holds, but one thing is certain - mental health matters!

[@jessosiyoway]

@@DocSnipes they were and are receiving professional counseling and therapy. They were just unable to receive medication at the time because of barriers. Mood stabilizers have since helped them get their emotions back to a point they feel more in control. I haven't had bruises for a couple week. There are still explosive episodes, they still hit/punch, use obejects, bite, headbutt, etc., but are doing so less often and less impactfully. The number of counselors offering support has been increased and now comes to home as well as school, and more people are communicating with their pediatrician, who is now more supportive in being made to understand this is real and really happening and they need her to be part of the support, not just a skeptic who sees her once a year for ten minutes and acts as a barrier to services. Thank you for the resources! We will continue to manage and work towards stability and happiness, and them feeling like they're loved, worth loving themselves, and safe.

[@aerozin]

im educating myself on BPD so i can give my friend support :)

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching!

[@TheAriannaStarr]

Thanks

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks so much for the tip. I really appreciate the support.

[@TheAriannaStarr]

@@DocSnipes you are most welcome

[@jozh7539]

thank u for teaching us dr.snipes, was very informative

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching

[@oliverrojas3185]

Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks again for all your loyal support!

[@joyfulcreativemovement6016]

Very, very helpful! Thank you so much for this and all your work!

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome

[@anitach5901]

The worst is , when others reject You , and proving that that's ok and this is something wrong with You ,as You are over unrealistic expectations , whilst ,You do not expect anything special . Love from Dublin

[@saram3156]

I think the same "rules" apply: if someone felt that I had unrealistic expectations of them, I would hope that I could still validate their feelings even if I disagreed with certain facts! Feeling like you can't measure up, or that nothing you do is enough, is very frustrating, no matter whether those feelings are based in facts. If I told someone that I found their expectations of me frustrating and overwhelming, and they didn't seem to care, I'm pretty sure I'd start directing my energies elsewhere!

[@anitach5901]

@@saram3156 If anybody is bothering or overwhelming it simply means ,that is non important for You. And this is totally fine. Just be careful, when You refuse people, perhaps they might not back. A lots of peace and happiness from here.

[@saram3156]

@@anitach5901 I think someone can be important to you, but if they start expecting so much perfection that you're afraid to move or speak around them, you have to go elsewhere for your own sanity.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks so much for watching.

[@anitach5901]

@@saram3156 First of all, I expect and demand from me before others . and I don't need any perfection, just to feel, that others care and commit the same like me .But anyway it gave me a great opportunity to insight myself and develop.

[@alwaysancient]

speaking to what follows when asking “how can i make you feel more safe?” it leads them to make unrealistic and unreasonable requests having you submit to a behavior. imagine being in that environment daily and how that will entrain you to be a certain way bc you’ve done it in repetition and has become a habit

[@DocSnipes]

It has to be a loved one that is aware of their behaviors and willing to accept help. If their demands are unrealistic, use it as a starting point for compromise.

[@deathtotomatoes]

15:18 this line is so true my best friend wants to get better but feels vulnerable and exposed and cant take the steps herself to help herself its difficult to see

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching

[@deathtotomatoes]

@@DocSnipes I’m stuck because my best friend of 14 years mental health just keeps getting worse and treating me bad along the way even after I do everything to support her over my own mental health and when I’ve been finally trying to set boundaries and stand up for how she treated me she still doesn’t understand and feels I’ve abandoned her I have always understood her and how her brain works but she still doesn’t treat me well I want to be there but I know it won’t be healthy for me I’m very lost and although I should probably not be friends with her anymore I don’t want to stop being friends with her it’s very difficult and I’ve felt drained from her for years now it’s just gotten worse the past year and I can’t do anything more than I have

[@marleymae6746]

Helpful information. Thank You!

[@DocSnipes]

Glad it was helpful!

[@DB-fm6cv]

Genuine question, i'm in a relationship with someone with BDP where do you draw the line as a spouse. I can't confront her with her behavior or disagree with her she gets overly emotional, not physical but slamming doors, screaming/ yelling, intentionally saying hurtful things, throwing stuff (not at me) If i try to avoid conflicts by walking out when i notice she gets emotional she calls me names when i'm leaving the room, and ends up texting me "you are emotionless, we are done don't talk to me anymore" It's like i can never do good, if i go head to head with her it ends up in her having a temper tantrum, if i try to play it defensive and try to diffuse the situation she gets mad about the fact that i don't want to discuss the problem, and even when i'm discussing stuff with her i say stuff like: "i don't want to downplay your experience", and "i get that you feel this way" i never raise my voice at her and always try to play it strategic. if i didn't care for her i wouldn't have tried to understand her disorder but it's difficult. it ends up in me reaching out when stuff cools down to see how she is doing, its like a cycle sometimes shes fine for months but its always like i'm walking on eggshells..

[@nathanjohnson3668]

My man, I feel the same way with my spouse. You descriptions are the exact same thing. I too have tried different approaches. The best ones for me were to keep the neutral voice and face/body gestures and just say, “I understand you are feeling xyz right now, I am going to do xyz right now and we can discuss what’s going on when I get back in xxx minutes.” I think it boils down to more just being understanding of the situation, but adhering to your set boundaries while being completely transparent about what you are doing. My wife suffers from the abandonment portion a lot and acts out on that. For example, you said she gets more angry when you walk away, it’s because she feels you are abandoning her. If you validated her, and communicated why you need to walk away, it might help. Every person is different but know you are not alone. I love my wife, and I still struggle with handling the emotional rollercoaster that she runs. My got to saying to myself is always the airplane mask saying “you have to secure your mask before you can help others otherwise you are likely to run out of oxygen and be no help to anyone.” You have to take care of yourself first before you can have the energy to help care for her. But I found being transparent and honest in what I do when I’m going to be away from her helps a lot. Hope what I said helps you out my man. Much love bro! You got this!

[@nicolewright8833]

You can get out now and still salvage something of yourself, rebuild a healthy life and breathe a sigh of relief, or you can stay and drown with her. You need to have a serious confrontation with yourself and ask why you started this relationship and why you're still in it.

[@ludmillaaguiar5646]

Thank you so much, you have no idea how you helped me!

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@allenculbertson8170]

God bless U Doc Snipes 🙏 ❤️

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks so much!

[@jazminsapien196]

I came to find this to send it to my boyfriend then when I went back to the messages to send it he said he doesn’t want to try anymore… I hope one day someone will want to try for me… I feel so sad right now…

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that.

[@joshuaconley8260]

Hang in there! God loves you.

[@jazminsapien196]

@@joshuaconley8260 thank you… ♥️

[@brucewayne357]

What are the therapies that can help in BPD? Does it go away with time? Thank you

[@georgieeve2026]

DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) is the main therapy used for BPD. Doc Snipes has quite a few in-depth videos on BPD and DBT, and DBT alone :) There's a percentage of people who's symptoms naturally decrease with age (30+).

[@crowboy9818]

Depends what school of thought you come from. If you want to believe that this is a mental disability then it will never go away because as this doctor says their brain is wired differently like a person with autism or epilepsy. If you believe that actually BPD is a fancy term for a collections of negative personality traits then maybe there is a chance that the person with BPD can mature and change their personality. However, if they are an adult over the age of majority, usually 18+, they are going to have this shtty personality for the rest of their lives.

[@nirmaladrieskens4338]

Great video ❤️❤️❤️ I happen to be his FP! I have already confirmed x times that 100% go for him! But that is apparently not enough than to repeat it over and over! I like him very much!🥰When I'm seen with male colleagues, his doubts strike and then reassure him! Don't want to lose me! Doesn't feel enough for me and then I say no one can replace you! Asks me to be his forever! Then I say yes! I like his attention. 😍I've never put so much time into someone in my life! But he's really worth it!😊What to do?

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. :)

[@jovanicfilbertwijaya2572]

thank you for the info that you give to us that live with this suck deases psikologie in a family

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT

[@Lighttanguitar]

When I ask “how can I help you?” He replies “just be kind / be a better human being!”. That question is a trigger for both of us, but if that’s the question that needs to be asked, I feel stuck.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing this-it sounds like you're in a really challenging situation, and I can understand why that question feels like a trigger for both of you. In relationships where one person is struggling with BPD, emotions can be so intense that even well-meaning questions like “How can I help you?” can feel overwhelming or misunderstood. It sounds like your loved one is seeking validation and understanding, but it’s hard to know how to respond when things escalate. Instead of asking directly, sometimes just being present and offering empathy without necessarily asking for a specific answer can make a difference. You might try reflecting what they’re feeling, like saying, “I can see you’re really struggling, and I’m here with you,” rather than asking a question that might feel like pressure to respond. It’s also important to take care of yourself in this process-feeling stuck is a signal that you, too, need support. Establishing small boundaries, even if they’re just about taking a moment to breathe and reset, can help prevent both of you from getting trapped in a frustrating cycle. Thank you for your openness. It’s not easy navigating this, but you’re not alone.

[@Fransd1982]

Where is the line between enabling and helping... If the bpd partner relys on your support to regulate there emotions. You try to support them, but you being there hinders them to realise they have to do learn to ride the wave themselves. It's especially a mine field if you are codipendent your self and the bpd partner enables unknowingly your childhood trauma...

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@niinabiina7147]

AMEN!!!! This is my situation 💯 I would have liked to see an answer to this.

[@g188les]

OMG same!

[@Daniel-A47]

I don't think you can enable bpd because its not a behavior one can stop if they choose to, its not a conscious choice....to answer you, i'd say that in a 'healthy' rshp with someone with bpd, you just need them to TRY,...with mindfulness and support, i think people with bpd can learn over time to regulate themselves or at least to feel completely feel safe with you such that the episodes become less frequent..hopefully.

[@Daniel-A47]

I don't think you can enable bpd because its not a behavior one can stop if they choose to, its not a conscious choice....to answer you, i'd say that in a 'healthy' rshp with someone with bpd, you just need them to TRY,...with mindfulness and support, i think people with bpd can learn over time to regulate themselves or at least to feel completely feel safe with you such that the episodes become less frequent..hopefully.

[@danielnm6767]

Thanks for the info, I've tried to help my brother for several years but he refused to go to therapy; sadly he got kicked out of school because he was a threat to the other students and he could not do anything but seek for help. I don't know his diagnosis because I could not go with him (my dad told me to step away, it was not my bussiness) but I know he is taking fluoxetine and meets most of the criteria for BDP. I hope he agrees to go to therapy with me because even tho I don't talk too much with him (he is very agressive), I fear for him and my family.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. What tips from the video will you use to help him address BPD?

[@danielnm6767]

I invited my cousins and my brother to my house, and we are all going to watch the World Cup final, I just needed one thing to gather them all. My cousins are on board to help us. I'm hoping my brother won't be dysregulating, (I'm doing everything to erase any stimulus to trigger his rage/sadness, plus he is always nice and chill with my cousins and me), we will try to make him return to therapy, but always showing support, love and compassion regarding his emotions, and if he agrees, I'll ask him if I can go with him. The final step is to try to make a plan with his therapyst about strategies with boundaries and consent regarding his dysregulating.

[@selfsabotagingbanana0451]

The term "Borderline" orinigates from the fact that BPD was originally thought to be at the borderline between neurotic (learned behavior) disorders and psychotic (disturbances in perception) disorders. Psychotic-LIKE symptoms (hallucinations / paranoid ideation) can however occur in BPD, but they are usually caused by severe dissociation and not by an inherited malfunction of the brain. Just to clarify that.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and for sharing. Here are more videos on BPD: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@antanayaharris9301]

Thank you for this video. I have a Bible study group with an individual who has bpd. And I didn’t know how to deal with their emotions and stuff. So I really appreciate this video. Do you have any other videos on bpd?

[@DocSnipes]

Yes. I have a lot. You can ask my clone to help you find them: DocSnipes.com/AskDocSnipes I would also recommend the videos on understanding and preventing religious trauma. People with BPD/CPTSD/Abandonment trauma often have difficulty understanding a loving, faithful God. There is a ton of stuff that gets opened up when they start to try to trust and be vulnerable to the presence of God. There is also often a lot of anger at God they don't kown how to process. Peace be with you and thank you for being a resource :)

[@antanayaharris9301]

@ thank you so much for this information. I truly appreciate you! I had no clue about this at all. That actually makes alot of sense especially when it comes to them growing in God. Thank you. 🙏🏾

[@DD-jm5ug]

I always feel like I'm falling and waiting to be caught and hugged tightly. To be saved. Which my parents failed to do. Amazing how our childhoods shape us.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT

[@BC-yb1mq]

Great knowledge 🙏🏼

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@BC-yb1mq]

@@DocSnipes Thanks for taking the time to write 🙏🏼 I will watch more of your videos. I appreciate very much your taking the vantage point of the person with the said tendencies and how others can help them with their difficulties. I shared this with someone suffering from these tendencies and I think it really helped them to feel understood, rather than feel invalidated, even though their way is not the cıstomary.

[@vishalbhurke5187]

What to do if borderline person takes revenge for months and months after a small argument. No matter how many times you ignore the punishment given to you it doesn't stop. How to deal with it in such situation. After a month or 2 of validating their pain if there is continuous punishment from the bpd person then how to go about it. Those punishments are like torture for the person trying to support them. At some point person helping loses all the patience and wants to walk away.

[@DocSnipes]

Unfortunately you have to set (and model) boundaries so you are safe. They will have to deal with the consequences of their behavior. You cannot force them to change.

[@ninakanth]

Dear All, I need some help. I have been diagnosed with BPD 4 months ago and started on therapy. I live in the UK but my partner needs help. I was wondering if there was a support group for partners of those with BPD. She needs someone she can talk to, who can understand and help explain or make sense of our situation. Does anyone know of anybody who offers this service?

[@alwaysancient]

can we apply these teachings safely even if we’re assuming whether or not they really have bpd? i’ve tried to suggest to my wife to get diagnosed but she refuses. however i am convinced that she could be by having documented the patterns of behavior, history, and psychology as a way to bring in compassion for their pain but also apply methods to deescalate mindfully and avert rage. and also keep my sanity of MY reality. ❤

[@DocSnipes]

Supporting a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be challenging, especially when they are not officially diagnosed. However, many of the strategies for supporting someone with BPD can still be beneficial even if you are only assuming they have the disorder. Here are some key points and strategies you can apply: Understanding BPD and Its Impact Heightened Stress Response: Individuals with BPD often have a heightened stress response system, releasing more stress hormones when triggered. Trauma and Sensitivity: BPD often develops in individuals who have experienced trauma or have a heightened sensitivity to stimuli. Strategies for Support 1. Validation and Empathy: Validate their experiences and emotions. Let them know you understand their pain and struggles. Show empathy and compassion, which can help them feel more supported and less isolated. 2. De-escalation Techniques: Use active listening and radical acceptance to help them feel heard and understood. Practice distress tolerance activities to help them re-regulate and return to a baseline emotional state. 3. Mindfulness and Communication: Encourage mindfulness practices to help them become more aware of their triggers and reactions. Develop effective communication strategies to prevent misunderstandings and reduce emotional dysregulation. 4. Setting Boundaries: Establish and maintain healthy boundaries to protect your own well-being while supporting them. Reflect on your own reactions and communicate them in a way that shows you are not angry with them but rather with the condition. Applying These Strategies Without a Diagnosis Even if your wife is not officially diagnosed with BPD, these strategies can still be helpful. They focus on creating a supportive and understanding environment, which can benefit anyone experiencing emotional distress or dysregulation. Maintaining Your Sanity Self-Care: Ensure you are taking care of your own mental health by setting aside time for self-care and seeking support when needed. Professional Guidance: Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide additional strategies and support for both you and your wife. By applying these strategies, you can create a more compassionate and supportive environment for your wife while also maintaining your own well-being. If you are interested in learning more about BPD and how to manage it or to easily find my videos in the video library, please feel free to use my AI: AllCEUs.com/AskDocSnipes

[@cedb3360]

This is all good advice, really I think it. The problem, my problem is that my gf is no where near recognizing she has something like BPD. To her, her emotions, her level of emotion she has matches or correlates with reality when it is in fact not the case. If she feels attacked by my tiny little anything I say really, it is because I attacked her and Hell breaks loose. I want to validate her feelings and team up with her, but I don't want to be that guy that avoid saying anything that could mean confrontation. Her emotions are real, I need advices to make her see that the rationalizations are very harmful to herself.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@getreadywithmaddie4656]

I have a friend that suffers from this and what makes me sad is that she ghosts me for months then returns as nothing happened (she says she’s sorry thought and I feel bad for her but I also feel uncomfortable not knowing if she’s alive or well weeks on end). I’m someone that suffers from general anxiety disorder and this kind of loop (being present, disappearing, coming back and promising they won’t do the same, going away again) also triggers me. How can I help my friend, be compassionate and don’t pass my issues toward her?? I don’t want her to feel more guilty then she already does because I know it’s the disease

[@getreadywithmaddie4656]

Just want to add that I already told her how this kind of behaviour makes me feel and she said she would change… but nothing happened. Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

Understanding Your Friend's Behavior: It's important to recognize that individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often experience intense emotions and may have difficulty maintaining consistent relationships. The pattern of ghosting and returning that you're describing can be related to their fear of rejection and abandonment, as well as their struggle with vulnerability. When they feel overwhelmed, they may withdraw as a coping mechanism. It's not uncommon for people with BPD to have difficulty with boundaries, which can lead to the kind of behavior you're experiencing. Communicating Your Needs: Express Your Feelings: It's good that you've communicated how her behavior affects you. It's important to continue to express your feelings in a non-blaming way, focusing on the impact rather than the behavior itself. Set Boundaries: Discuss and agree upon boundaries that work for both of you. This might include agreements on communication during times when she feels the need to withdraw. Involve Therapy: If she's open to it, consider asking if you can be involved in her therapy to better understand how to support her and maintain your own well-being. Managing Your Anxiety: Self-Care: Prioritize your own mental health. Engage in activities that help you manage your anxiety and maintain your own emotional balance. Support System: Build a support system for yourself, including friends, family, or a therapist, who can help you cope with the uncertainty of the situation. Supporting Your Friend: Validation: Continue to validate her feelings and experiences, showing that you understand the challenges she faces with BPD. Encourage Professional Help: Encourage her to work with her therapist on the issues that lead to her ghosting behavior. Educate Yourself: Learn more about BPD to better understand her experiences and how to support her. You can find more videos on BPD at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD Also, feel free to use my AI for any questions you might have: AllCEUs.com/DocSnipes-AI Maintaining the Relationship: Understand the Recovery Process: Recognize that dysregulation episodes are exhausting for your friend and that recovery can take time. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness in your interactions, being aware of your own emotional state and how it may affect her. Communication: Keep the lines of communication open, and develop a plan for how to handle periods when she may withdraw. Remember, it's crucial to take care of yourself while being compassionate towards your friend. It's a delicate balance, but with open communication and mutual understanding, it's possible to maintain a supportive relationship without compromising your own mental health.

[@frogmanpipes9561]

What about people that have been diagnosed with BPD that haven't had any trauma? No abuse or anything like that.

[@KhanGarth]

A coworker has it and every time I try to ask about her feelings or what’s going on she starts crying big time and all I know what to do is offer a hug and stand there listening as she tries to explain how she’s feeling which she has a hard time doing. I feel really bad

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. You wanting to support your coworker is really admirable

[@monabur]

Hi, your video is very informative and rings alot of truth. Im BPD and this would be awsome to show my close family or even more broadly. I would like to translate it to Lithuanian and show for people who doesnt speak English. I would use the source link and credit you as the author of the information. Would you agree to that?:)

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching videos on the channel and for sharing them. Highly appreciated. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@Jath2112]

This one hit home.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching

[@dnk4559]

I suspect my youngest sibling suffers from this disorder. She may also be an alcoholic. How is it possible to not take the behavior of someone personally who refuses to acknowledge they have a problem? My therapist recommends I stay away from this sibling and the family members who enable the behavior as long as it’s not directed at them. This sibling was kicked out at 15 by our narcissistic father. Our mother was a schizophrenic alcoholic who lost custody of us. Our childhood was traumatic and the siblings won’t get help.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBTmadesimple

[@dreyddog19]

Listen to your therapist.

[@9879SigmundS]

How responsible is it for a psychologist to suggest ways to stay in a relation that is inevitably destructive?

[@DocSnipes]

A KZbin comment isn't enough info for me to express an opinion like that.

[@Eo-fm3qh]

my girlfriend has bpd and its hard sometimes because i sometimes dont have the patience to wait 20 mins for the hard part to calm down

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching and for sharing.

[@aaron2709]

Very helpful.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you

[@frankiesanchez2319]

how do you help someone who's blind and has bpd, and refuses to seek and accept help?

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching. What do you think about bringing evidence regarding how addressing BPD will end up improving their life?

[@frankiesanchez2319]

@@DocSnipes what kind of evidence should I bring?

[@perseverance9888]

Thank you !! After years of splits from family member I continue to try to understand but usually what's best is when she splits is to let her know I'm going for a walk , she seems to dissociate more when I try to help and she will say shes more made if I keep trying to help, so I step away and she's usually better in a few hours maybe less but I usually need a break so I chill myself for a while. Do any meds help this condition?

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBTmadesimple

[@marialentz1137]

Are there support systems for caregivers of a person with bps?

[@perseverance9888]

I hope so I'm looking too

[@damiengross4752]

Thank you, I’m going thru BDP Splitting now, but this is very helpful. I need to get through this and I’ll definitely use your techniques. Are you available personal appointments?

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video and for your question. Yes, I am available for online consultations. Please email me at [e-mail] for additional details.

[@alphadog3384]

My question to you is two fold what about "burn out with age" and what can you do if someone triggers you and still has that "blind spot" for communication with low insight about how to restate their conversation so a person won't be triggered with BPD. Appreciate your thoughts on this two part question.

[@DocSnipes]

Managing Triggers in BPD When interacting with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), it's crucial to be mindful of potential triggers. Individuals with BPD are often highly sensitive to others' feelings and reactions, and may interpret frustration or irritation as a personal attack, even if it's unrelated to them. To prevent triggering a negative response, it's important to communicate effectively. If you're feeling frustrated or irritated, make sure to openly communicate that these feelings are not directed towards them. For example, you might say, "I'm really stressed out today, but it's not because of you. I had a tough day at work." Dealing with Low Insight in Communication If someone has a "blind spot" in their communication and lacks insight into how their words might trigger someone with BPD, it can be helpful to gently guide them towards more effective communication strategies. This could involve explaining how certain phrases or tones can be triggering, and suggesting alternative ways to express the same sentiment. For example, if they often use a critical tone, you might suggest that they try to use a more neutral or positive tone. Or if they often make assumptions about what the person with BPD is feeling, you might suggest that they ask open-ended questions instead. Remember, it's important to approach these conversations with patience and understanding. Change takes time, and it's likely that the person will need ongoing support and guidance to improve their communication skills. Here are the videos on assertiveness: kzbin.infosearch?query=assertive Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT

[@alphadog3384]

Thank you for responding back much appreciated.

[@Fpskeny]

I tried to help spouse with bpd but she tells me she doesn’t want someone she has to tell what to do. The only thing I can do is keep in mind what she says and hopefully there is light at end of tunnel. I have reached out couple times but she responds, she could of left me on read so I’m confused

[@DocSnipes]

Supporting someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be challenging. It's important to respect her boundaries and continue offering support without being overbearing. Listening to her needs and being patient can help build trust. It’s also crucial to take care of your own well-being during this process. If you’re interested in more tips and tools on supporting someone with BPD, please use my AI for free: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes Have you considered seeking support for yourself, such as a counselor or a support group for partners of individuals with BPD?

[@wendy038]

My 25 yo has bpd traits. What therapies help? And yes he's had childhood trauma (DV) TIA !

[@DocSnipes]

You may want to explore this with a professional counselor. You can find other therapists via Psychology Today search: allceus.com/Psychology_Today_Therapist_Search Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@MarkWiseArt]

What do you do when you’re the support person, but you’re also the victim of the attacks? I mean, what do you do when they’re deregulating and riding out the wave involved being attacked verbally by them?

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you are going through that. Some videos that might help can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT I believe the videos on boundaries also help: kzbin.infosearch?query=boundaries

[@MarkWiseArt]

@@DocSnipes I'll check them out. Thanks.

[@kevinmckernan794]

I have been trying to work out for the past two years what is going on with my loved one. The questions have all been answered and I feel guilty for not working it out sooner and not being there for her and also relieved, saddened and happy at the same time. Strangest emotional experience of my life. I want to hug her now so badly.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@Hashnastty]

What if they don’t believe in therapy.

[@DocSnipes]

Behavior is communication and I believe it’s important to ask ourselves why one doesn’t believe in therapy. You can try motivating them. Here are some videos to help you with that: kzbin.infosearch?query=motivation

[@Spongeward_Tentpants]

How do i handle them purposefully hurting me and then needing affection. I love them and i understand but im physically and mentally sick forcing myself to be nice while being afraid of getting hurt again.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing this-it sounds like you’re carrying a heavy emotional burden, and your love and understanding for this person really shine through. Supporting a loved one with BPD can be incredibly challenging, especially when their behaviors hurt you emotionally or physically. It’s important to recognize that their actions often stem from deep emotional pain and fear of abandonment, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore your own needs or boundaries. One key step is learning to set and maintain boundaries that protect your emotional and physical well-being. For example, you might say something like, “I care about you, but I need to feel safe in our relationship. If I feel hurt, I need space to process before I can give affection.” This communicates your care while asserting what you need to stay healthy in the relationship. At the same time, seeking support for yourself-whether through therapy, a support group, or even trusted friends-can help you navigate these dynamics without feeling like you’re constantly draining your energy. You deserve to take care of yourself, even as you try to support your loved one. If you found this video helpful, please consider sharing it-it might provide guidance to others who are in similar situations and looking for ways to navigate them. Have you tried setting boundaries before, and how did it go? Sometimes reflecting on what has worked-or hasn’t-can offer insight into how to approach things moving forward. You’re not alone in this!

[@brendaharp]

Can a person develop BPD without experiencing any significant trauma?

[@adriendupont326]

Hello, when my loved one dysregulate, she starts rejecting everyone, everything, and any empathy or any help i propose, she stops communication by repeating over and over the same things. When her episode is over, trying to talk about what happened peacefully tends to trigger another episode. If someone Can give me any advices or help please.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT

[@nicolewright8833]

Run.

[@deborrastrom8559]

The problem with many Boarderlins is they demand attention & are narcassitic so they get supported & often wear out physically & mentally all around them. Who doesn't get the support are those around them. ** I hope you address this issue here.

[@francine6485]

Most borderlines are narcissist they just don't want to give women that diagnosis so they go with the softer borderline not saying they don't diagnose men as borderline but it's mostly women. They ought to do away with borderline and just cut to the chase they're narcissists or possibly PTSD mostly they just plain narcissist.

[@agoodgurl2k]

Totally agree!

[@fillistine]

How do we look after ourselves, in order to look after someone else.

[@angelacoleman6580]

@@fillistine it's hard....even with support... they can wear us out to the point where we may need to commit ourselves.

[@Prudenthermit]

Praying the bpd person in your life finds a better environment & better people to associate with

[@jafaralijaffery636]

hi doc

[@davegayaldo]

i have symptoms of bpd , soon after i told , wife left when i told her … most difficult time in my life

[@DocSnipes]

That’s awful and I am sorry it happened to you. You can find more videos on BPD at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@jafaralijaffery636]

sexual trauma, racism trauma abusive trauma and I'm having pain in the left testicular pain

[@DocSnipes]

Probably should see a professional counselor and a medical doctor.

[@eddiemartin85]

Great..

[@junecleaver493]

And how would we know they aren't being a "bratty child"? How?!!!

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. It's important to approach your loved one with empathy and understanding. Their behaviors are often a response to internal distress rather than an attempt to be difficult. If you're finding it challenging to support your loved one, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional. They can provide strategies to help you communicate effectively and support your loved one in a way that is beneficial for both of you. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD Also, please feel free to use the DocSnipes AI for any questions you may have: ai.docsnipes.com

[@Prudenthermit]

Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

Welcome.

[@jafaralijaffery636]

I'm going through traumatic situation for many years now

[@dana295]

What if you had a happy childhood without trauma? How does one get BPD then? =(

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. It's essential to understand that BPD is a complex disorder with multiple contributing factors. While trauma is a significant risk factor, it is not the sole cause of BPD. Genetics, brain structure, environmental factors, and personal temperament all interact in ways that can lead to BPD.

[@rebeccaevison9538]

What's the different between this and complex ptsd

[@rebeccaevison9538]

@KJ thank you for your reply

[@KA-bw3wf]

@@rebeccaevison9538 id not conclude that, my BPD mother gave us the kids CPTSD

[@Jade-902]

The best way to support is to run the opposite way. I’m totally done with my abusive BPD daughter. After 15 years, I can’t take any further abuse. It’s literally killing me.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching the video

[@ginbami]

I am bawling my eyes out watching this because i don't think i have anyone who will treat me like this not even my mom who's closest to me when she was also the one who contribute to my fear of abandonment issues 😂 tragic

[@DocSnipes]

You can share the video with your loved ones, maybe ot will help them understand and treat you how you hope to be treated

[@gavdaGoats]

It’s so hard my sister she’s rude disrespectful complains constantly yells violently she has a victim mentality. Stays on the couch watching tv every day no job 18 years old can’t drive lazy ect i don’t know what to do. I’ve tried being helpful. But nothing works she calls me names try’s to Brake my things try’s to hit me . And I’m way younger then her so it’s not like I can put her in check. And she’s no small person I’ll tell you that . Do you have any tips I would be really appreciative.

[@DocSnipes]

I'm sorry to hear that you're facing difficulties with your sister. Dealing with someone with BPD can be challenging due to emotional fluctuations. It might be helpful to set boundaries, encourage her to seek therapy, and consider family therapy sessions to improve communication. Remember, supporting her while taking care of your own well-being is important.

[@Beaufallow]

All of my reactions are wrong and I don’t know how to change it I have made it clear with my actions I can’t handle the outbursts and the constant dissatisfaction with everything I do. The gas lighting and how I question my reality on a weekly basis. I don’t know what to do we have our third child on the way and she has two for a previous marriage who I love. But we have never gotten along for more than it seems like a few days. I’m lost and defeated she warned me years ago. I was fresh out of rehab from being an addict and was never able to set my feet on solid ground and be ther person she needed and now all the hurts have piled up on both sides and it’s hard to see the light. I’ve got us an appointment for counseling but I’m scared it’s too late. I want to come together under God.

[@Beaufallow]

She was diagnosed with BPD before we met and she warned me and told me what she needed and I have tried over and over and I keep failing. The day to day is so exhausting and it lines up perfectly with covert/vulnerable narcissism do they have all the same expressions!?

[@Beaufallow]

Help

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you are going through this. Feel free to utilize my AI to learn more about BPD and to discover additional tips on this topic allceus.com/AskDocSnipes

[@InvitationToHers]

I’m not sure if you’ll respond, let alone read, but I have BPD and separation anxiety; I have a(n online) friend of six months, and he’s probably my favoritest person ever. He’s the first guy to show me softness, so, he’s definitely at least on that list, haha. I’m really bad at not being obsessed with things I love. Including my friend. Recently, he told me he’d like more space, and I know that, rationally, he’s just human and needs space. On the other hand, I feel like I was just told “fuck you I hate you.” I know that isn’t the case, but it still swirls around my thoughts every time I try to think of it logically. I mean, I’m going to give him the space obviously, but I still feel confused. I hate myself for taking up so much attention and needing so much accomodation because I had issues in my childhood, and seeing him in a paternal way. It’s not fair to him. He said he’s willing to take care of me and he knew what he was getting into, but, I still feel horrid.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry you feel that way and I appreciate you watching the video. Here is the video on developing secure attachment kzbin.info/www/bejne/aarVcqKsl8yIY5Ysi=CBwqOR721EE3YpjI and here are more videos on BPD: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@InvitationToHers]

@@DocSnipes ‘ppreciate it thank you

[@ehyloverr]

Hello doc! Thank you for your video and tips I would like to ask something. Is it ok for bpd people to be in a romantic relationship? Not Long time a go i finally asked out the guy I've liked for a long time and they said yes, I already knew they had bpd, does that mean they're uncomfortable in relationships? I really want to know because I love them so much, I'm ready to fight everything with him just want to ask if that's ok if he is in a romantic relationship I don't want them to feel stressed by something like this. Thank you if you reply in advance

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching. It’s OK for people with BPD to be in relationships. Please watch the videos on BPD and on DBT on the channel: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD kzbin.infosearch?query=DBT

[@JJJJJ31969]

My daughter is controlling everything about us. We suffocated , just want to die or leave. We must do everything her way or she will explode,the consequences will send us to hell. We really can’t take it anymore! She is an adult. Rejected to live independently and she rejected to drive by herself. We must drive her around with our full time. We are super exhausted and scared to death all the time!our job is demanding and she is even super demanding and super selfish, never care about our health at all. We are on the edge to breakdown!!!! What we can do?

[@DocSnipes]

That’s sounds awful. You can find more videos on BPD at: kzbin.infosearch?query=BPD

[@flowerpower555]

I wish I had allies. I could rely on. I just never found them. And couldn't build one in myself. Tbh. I'm just terminally declining. I live CBT. DBT. I'm ten years clean from coke crack meth. It was my main community support giving up. Punishing me. And leaving. Cuz I just can't make progress. So I'm not worth it. I'm orphaned more. And the cruelty is I believed in the love and trust I built in sobriety. With my aunty. It was never her job until she dead ass promised me. I can count on her like the parent I never had. For ten years I could. Then idk. I'm too old or whatever. M.a.i.d. 2.3. sub section c is my only option left it seems. Terminal mental decline. I'm so sorry. I couldn't do good enough.

[@flowerpower555]

I never wanted to hurt others. I wanted to help others. I fail. I am isolated. More so to protect them from me. I feel so retched. Like. I'm a hazard to others. Against my best effort. So I isolate to save them from me.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching and for sharing. Congratulations on being 10 years clean.

[@flowerpower555]

@@DocSnipes thanks I hope you keep doing you.

[@eohrefare7346]

I’ll support anyone with BPD WHO’S HONEST.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching the video. What tips will you use first to help support a loved one with BPD? Here are mire videos on BPD: kzbin.infosearch?query=borderline

[@redhats_exit1984]

And we'll support you too, If YOU'RE honest.

[@aisyataher3649]

am I an idiot if i wanna support my someone who suffers from bpd by buying every thing she said in fact I know it's a lie and sometimes she would cheat on me. i know shes cheating w someone as we speak