Narrated D&D Story: How A Fat Drunken Monk Beat The Demon Lord

[@felixlavulpe3506]

Delightful as always lads. If anyone has any questions about the character or campaign or any of that jazz, as always I'll do my best to get to as many as I can.

[@dragobane4728]

So is this guy was a DMpc? Also, did your party use his brand of wine for future celebrations?

[@mikkelmarkvardsen7750]

How many times did you laugh your arse off thinking back on this?

[@felixlavulpe3506]

@@dragobane4728 Nicoloso was not a DMPC, he was my character for the campaign and multiple others. As for the wine, absolutely.

[@felixlavulpe3506]

@@mikkelmarkvardsen7750 More than a couple.

[@BaoHadir]

That was hilarious.

[@CidGaius]

Gotta love a monk who doesn’t lift a finger to fight the bad guy, when he can just raise a glass instead.

[@mikkelmarkvardsen7750]

Lol

[@userofdacrack3]

"Silly demon lord, * hic * you're already dead."

[@theofficerfactory2625]

Here is to your “belch” health.

[@Cross177]

When they’re here to party, they’re here to party!

[@francomaemori7123]

I can totally imagine this man as a BAMF Christian priest: "It's said that His holy blood was wine, and you were * hic * dumb enough to drink it".

[@saintbrush4398]

Drunk master priest is definitely something I'm playing as now. Part of a prestigious holy order, indulging too much on the sacraments, and using it as fighting fuel.

[@meshuggahshirt]

"You drank the Blood... unworthily."

[@voodooozo3755]

"The lord is changing into a demon while Saint Nick just sits on his chair". He gave him holy wine to drink didnt he? "The demon starts screaming and burning from inside out" Yup...

[@FlyingDominion]

Demon lord: "Now the fight begins!" Abbot: "No. The fight is already won." Demon Lord: *anguished screams of holy combustion*

[@voodooozo3755]

@@FlyingDominion essentially divine omae wa mu shindeiru

[@resu666]

@@voodooozo3755 demon lord: Nani

[@jackbelmont4389]

Merry fucking Christmas *shoots blunderbuss* and a happy New year

[@BartixShieldsmen]

You'd think a lord planning to become a demon would be a bit more sceptical about having a priest as a servant and making holy water wine

[@BartixShieldsmen]

@Basement Bohab I mean peaceful or not the but a literal servant of God seems like a big no no to your plans to summon a demon from hell who could do with a good Deus vult smite, also yeah you'd think that wine who's holiness is only matched by the literal blood of Christ would be enough to dissuade a demon from possessing the man

[@Jake007123]

@@BartixShieldsmen Caiden Cailean is a Chaotic Neutral god of the Pathfinder lore, and while he doesn't consort with demons, there is nothing in his teachings that forbids his priests to do so. They can even be Chaotic Evil, the exact alignment of demons.

[@BartixShieldsmen]

@@Jake007123 fair enough, doesn't explain how the holy water didn't kick in immediately but you know what, that makes this a whole lot plausible

[@thegamerEcho_419]

thats what happens when u roll well enough on cha checks, multiple times ... i cant fathom a harder time rolling...

[@EtnaBoy666]

That is the problem with BBEGs, they never think about how dangerous a bottle of wine made from holy water can be if they become demonic. ;)

[@ghostkaiser1716]

Cheers to the savvy monk! May his wine cellar never dry! *hic!*

[@scourge5228]

*"Cheers I'll drink to that"*

[@Gumbopot72]

Amen to that fat monk.

[@commissarf1196]

Drunk and still powerful just like jackie chan

[@zebaguettefromfrance1287]

Me B'ottle 'O scrumpe

[@Gumbopot72]

@@zebaguettefromfrance1287 Apologies for my bad spelling. Leza la bon ton roulette.

[@jackbelmont4389]

Gunslinger: "IM TELLING YOU THIS GUY IS SANTA" Party: "call him abbot" Gunslinger giving abbot milk a cookies: "he has a wagon full of stuff, gives to the needy and is fat, HE IDS SANTA"

[@theenderdestruction2362]

He is Santa claus that will kick your ass as well as give gifts

[@Anima_Magnus]

⁠@@theenderdestruction2362 Santa Claus: It’s time to kick ass and hand out presents. *Loads blunderbuss* Santa Claus: AND I’M ALL OUT OF PRESENTS!!!

[@theenderdestruction2362]

@@Anima_Magnus perfecto

[@RPGTales]

Holy poison? Well you don't see that everyday.

[@johnnysizemore5797]

Technically it's only considered a Poison to Evil outsiders. Regular folk(and Good-aligned outsiders) aren't effected. That IS a clever way to Assassinate something, however.

[@angelicakelly829]

@@johnnysizemore5797 very very clever. Lol.

[@johnnysizemore5797]

@@angelicakelly829 ikr? And it's not considered an Alignment shifting act cause it's an Evil outsider getting poisoned...

[@Jake007123]

@@johnnysizemore5797 In fact it's only harmful to evil outsiders and undead, for the rest of the multiverse, it is just water. I wouldn't call it a poison, since the ones who get affected by it are usually immune to poison. I don't understand Johnny statement about shifting alignment. Caiden Cailean, the cleric's god, is Chaotic Neutral, and I suspect he was Chaotic Good. He didn't do an evil act: he did a good act, killing a demon, the poisoning isn't worse than hacking and slashing. He did a chaotic act, treason against the lord. All nice with chaotic good characters.

[@MagicalMaster]

Actually, in 3.5 in the book called Book of Exalted Deeds there's a full TABLE of poisons that only hits the evil. My personal favorite is the Golden Ice which a good aligned character can get a feat to always have it on them. Basically making them living poison to evil people. If you want to play a goodie two shoes who's NOT a pansy this book has you covered. It also has THE BEST dragon slaying class in that you get unblockable damage to not only the standard hitpoints but their hitpoint total as well and it takes a freaking WISH spell to counteract what you do.

[@falconator9256]

That was such a smart move! Love the fact that he managed to pull this off and just sat there as the demon died

[@felixlavulpe3506]

Sure as hell wasn't going to stand up for it.

[@richardarriaga6271]

Lord failed an int, perception, and wisdom check. Evil Overlords really need common sense.

[@jaxryz_380]

Richard Arriaga to be fair he was drunk

[@dragobane4728]

I mean, 3 bottles of holy water wine would do that, especially if he didn't have a feat that would protect him from disadvantage

[@Navy89SEALs]

I lost it at "nearly creamed herself when she realized it could still hold 4 tons of goods"

[@kylestanley7843]

That certainly gave me an interesting image lol

[@multidimensionalcenturion9863]

Ahh yes the good old "make em drink holy booze to banish em" works every time.

[@thekingsfool155]

HOW OFTEN DOES THIS HAPPEN TO YOU?????

[@multidimensionalcenturion9863]

@@thekingsfool155 That's not important boyo.

[@falloutfallout2594]

Demon Lord: You can't beat me Party: We knowe but he can Fat Drunken Monk: I'm not Fat I'm just Big Bone.

[@jarrodwalker9099]

Respec my authori-teh!

[@falloutfallout2594]

@@jarrodwalker9099 Screw you guys I'm going home

[@RogueT-Rex8468]

IM NOT FAT!!! IM STOOOOOUT!!!! AHYIYIYIYIYIYIY!!!

[@theenderdestruction2362]

​@RogueT-Rex8468 plot twist This is the ancestors of the scottsman wife

[@sasha1mama]

Ahhhh, Abbot Nic. This jolly fellow has lived rent free in my memory for over 4 years now, and been the inspiration for my own drunken monk, Friar Vic. "Friar Tuck x Uncle Iroh, but with beer" is very much the right synopsis for both.

[@bengeister8520]

It’s impressive how terribly he butchered Uncle Iroh’s name (EYE-row)

[@scbred9245]

Uncle Iroh would forgive him.

[@rand0mguy755]

@@scbred9245 ya, he would

[@dragobane4728]

Definitely, especially if he likes green teas

[@DragonGunzDorian]

Yeah, I was thinking man, has he never watched avatar before? lol

[@MercuryA2000]

@@scbred9245 wouldn't even hesitate.

[@paulcurran302]

All Things DnD: *pronounces Iroh E-roh* Me: So you have chosen... death

[@railbaron1]

I'm more miffed about him pronouncing Conestoga Cone-e-stow-ga rather then Con-a-stow-ga

[@zankou5611]

No Cake 🍰??

[@RogueT-Rex8468]

*places hand on shoulder- Uncle Iroh would forgive.

[@MZZE-my7hz]

@@RogueT-Rex8468 you are correct. Shame I'm not him. Unless tea is involved, then I'm as docile as Iroh himself.

[@iciclecold2991]

Have noticed that this exact same voice is on several channels across youtube. So it is likely a bot reader. That is why it mispronounces words that a DnD player would know. Like artificer.

[@lukeoates1248]

So he poisoned him without using an actual poison, but with holy water instead (writes it down for future reference) genius

[@johnnysizemore5797]

Notes for a NG human Idiot; Greetings from lovely Restenford(so far our day has gone ok here...)! I've said this before, but it bears repeating: Evil can be suprised when the Good are clever. Just because our Drunken Friend St.Nicholas wasn't trained for combat doesn't mean he wasn't trained to deal with Evil.... May your pantheon ever favor you(especially in these trying times) Baron Trevelyan of Restenford

[@allthingsdnd]

What do you think about our fat drunken monk here? 🤔

[@ПламенПетров-г5н]

He is clearly superior.

[@joshuaobryan4896]

that man is a legend like my god, the ammount of planning that the dude must have spent for just one anti-climactic death

[@elgingero3148]

He has a unique aura about him that most wouldn't have, this character is probably one of the best I've ever heard about

[@dragonfyre8928]

I Loved the phrase "He never did appreciate Good wine." That sums up my enjoyment of him XD

[@johnnysizemore5797]

I love him! He shows that you don't have to be speced out for combat to deal with Evil.

[@FedralBI]

Reminds me of the time thecparty I DMed for had to go head to head with a powerful vampire, so they summoned a Water Elemental made of Holy Water to assist them.

[@bigd7861]

Had a part celestial character that subdued his aura. The party got attacked by a pack of vamps in a desecrated church. I chugged a bottle of holy water, let the lead vamp bite on to my neck, wrapped my arms around him, let my wings out, and blasted him with holy light. Not even vapor left!

[@apollyonnoctis1291]

*Mind size: MEGA*

[@mistamemewide]

“I SUMMON THEE HOLY WATER ELEMENTAL!” “...what.” *_Summons Water Jesus_* “OHMYFUCKINGAAAAAAAAAA”

[@theenderdestruction2362]

I once played a water elemental school who was a sub class of Paladin called a crusader. He only spoke in hymms as he was summoned in a church but the spell failed just at the right moment and caused him to just kinda stay in the baptizing pool, so all he really ever heard where either hymms or holy words from the book, he soon gained enough insight to learn to speak but only in holy hymms and he's made of water ment to baptism people so anything unholy didnt want to be near him at all, he was fun cause he basically just acted as the partys healer and damage dealer sense it was a party consiting of, a rouge mindflayer who was playing a cleric, a fairy who was playing a rouge and besides me a half giant who was a druid, this campaign was set in a landscape filled witg darkness and shadows and this was like our 3 character sheets cause the first was a accidental tpk the 2nd was cause of bad rolls causing one charater the barbarian to go comepletly insane and another the paladin i was playing as got turned into a vampire and so the monk and fighter died and those two barley lived and these character were basically us just deciding to stop taking it so seriously.... it got wacky cause my characters main goal was to baptize people, spread the word of the religion he followed, fight for and protect people, it was pretty easy to get into places cause well water elemental kinda just can go into buckets and be carried by servents and later recollect himself and we also used the fun fact of as long as theres more holy water then normal water it can all become holy water meaning that as long as my character is more then the normal water he can inetibley keep himself and grow, once i turned him into the leviathan via absorbing enough water and then getting a wizard to blast me with the water plane so i can grow to defeat the bbbeg weapon, a freaking undead lighting giant mixed with a cloud giant and fire giants body parts alongide multiple demons and vampires, i nearly died like 5 times even as leviathan much less the normal form damn thing was tough

[@nyotamwuaji6484]

A vampire would consider him a hard liquor... Soo, unless they want to get drunk, immune to vampires?

[@kylestanley7843]

The vampire latches on, takes one good sip, and as his eyes widen he recoils backwards and spits out this sticky glob of blood mixed with saliva. He then shouts: "The fuck have you been eating, motor oil?!"

[@timwoods2852]

Drink up me Hearties! As someone who has been a Dwarf healer, killing a great evil with holy wine gets mad props from me.

[@rokusho6667]

“Uncle eeroh” *enters avatar state* “You and your channel have brought imbalance to this world!”

[@MrEagle-fs1xt]

Woah woah calm down! Have some jasmine tea

[@7sevin7]

Mr. Eagle has a point, Iroh, wouldn't take it personally and respond with the same level of chill he always does.

[@rokusho6667]

Sevin Wagon korra used it to win a race against children. Each avatar is different.

[@NeonRahkshi]

*Iroh's spirit manifests and pulls you off of him* " please do not hurt him avatar, i forgive him"

[@elmurdoc]

I would like to hear the reaction of the master when he knew that his bbeg was dead even before the fight starter :)

[@felixlavulpe3506]

"....Ah.... Yeah that'd do it."

[@FlyingDominion]

To quote a gun from Borderlands 2 (which was certainly quoting something else, but IDK what), "booze'll do that to ya."

[@craigtucker1290]

Depends on a few things as this could have been a DM handed victory rather than an actual achievement. If the BBEG asked for a holy water based wine with blessed grapes, than the DM probably gave them the win as no one planning on such a ritual wouldn't know the effects of holy water on their new form. Or if the DM allowed the monk/party to acquire more holy water than would be possible by use of casting the spell or shortened the time to actually create a wine. It should have taken many hundreds of gallons to make a marketable wine for large distribution, unless it was a private label only. Even then, it would take at least a month to make a very base wine of questionable quality where the better wines tend to take months or even years to fully develop.

[@elmurdoc]

@@craigtucker1290 Yes, this are the things i want to know, also what rolls the monk did, etc Also maybe the monk just ask normal water and grape and he make it holy? And maybe he was not the only one doing the wine he was named the boss of the production, he most people helping that knows how to do the wine follow his instructions Also he was this plan create from the beginning know what will happen? How the player create the plan? Etc I like this kind of story, but i like more the ones when we know why and how are the players thinking, the dice rolls, if him make a nat20 that kind of stuff :)

[@craigtucker1290]

@@elmurdoc I agree. The difference is between an amazing story that players came up with as opposed to the DM just letting the players win by bending/breaking the rules in their favor. If the monk did this in secret, then it is doubtful and not likely that too many could be involved in the production of holy water wine since conspiracies and secrets tend not to stay hidden unless those involved are part of the conspiracy to kill the BBEG. It is not only implausible, but completely unbelievable that the BBEG would specifically ask to have so much of a potentially dangerous substance so nearby. I could believe a small batch that was made using holy water, maybe a small keg as a wine barrel is around 59 gallons (472 pints). Considering how many pints the spell creates, it would take quite a bit to fill just a barrel considering the distilling process. Adding holy water regular water would dilute it and make it useless. The bless water spell only transmute 1 pint to holy water, so you can see the issue. Like I said, I am also very interested as this story has potential of greatness, but the OP and his group have bent/broken rules in previous stories as well that really takes away from the stories purported accomplishment, which is unfortunate. I am also curious how they managed to fit all that gear in that wagon because while the wagon can carry up to 6 tons of gear, bulk is more of an issue. While I think they could fit all that gear in the wagon, I do not believe that anyone could stand in the wagon, let alone use any of the equipment that is packed in.

[@theintrovertedarcanist984]

I saw it all coming from the moment that the lord promoted the monk to cellar keeper. That solution is really one of those things that you can only pull off once.

[@Majora48]

As someone just starting out in D&D these help remind me that stats, spells, weapons, and magical items are all second to Roleplay, RP is your most deadly tool in this game, use it well and with others!

[@Nevict]

That wine was the holiest shit a monk could ever brew! XD

[@Cultono]

“My lord, I have prepared a brand new vine for your upcoming ritual, something that I made just for you.”

[@novadrake9232]

😂😂 death by holy wine what a riot

[@mikkelmarkvardsen7750]

49%: ITS I-ROH NOT E-ROH 50%: appresiation of funny things in vid That one dude: hey

[@kylestanley7843]

Good to know.

[@sammarino7357]

HEY BUILD THE NEW HELICOPTER

[@majrbacon1293]

This monk player is absolutely genius on so many levels

[@jeremiahlewis410]

I can appreciate a good support character. Palladium game system, I usually play a caster and get the first level spell Globe of Daylight. I've had a blast using it as lighting for the playing troupe during their performances. But the monk just being the right man in the right place and not having to lift a finger to do that ... beautiful.

[@MalevolentDivinity]

I recall hearing that John Constantine did something similar.

[@norfemignissius4936]

That he did. Transmutation of holy water into vine by his friend. Invited Satan to taste it, then flipped the table maintaining the spell. He saved his friends soul. Well Constantine still had cancer and the devil's anger after that XD.

[@HappyGoof4]

1:28 Uncle Eye-row, not ear-oh!

[@Windgel]

I was searching for this

[@HappyGoof4]

@@Windgel Thank you!!!!

[@edwardezinga7469]

This literally "You're already dead" but with D&D and I love every second of it

[@jareddebeast]

I haven't been this early since before I was a Draugr

[@joshuaobryan4896]

FUS ROH DAH!

[@diobrando9685]

GOOD DAY SIR!!

[@articusramos808]

Puts on enchanted gloves with 10000+ unarmed damage. One punch time

[@jareddebeast]

Joshua O'Bryan ZUN HAAL VIIK

[@jareddebeast]

GameNinjaD “looks at bounty of 10 gold” I don’t have time for this do you

[@bigd7861]

Now THAT is some serious "Passive Aggressive" action!

[@wookieninja8794]

Now this is inspirational!!! Major props to that player and their creativity! What a great story.

[@TKBallad]

The best stories are always the ones where the hero doesn't need to lift a finger in the final moments.

[@benkayvfalsifier3817]

Now THAT is how you roleplay. One of the better stories you have picked @AllThingsDnD. I love how Abbott had the foresight to make a new wine made from blessed water and grapes, ingenious.

[@akira1086]

God i love this, he just sits there continuing to sip as the literal BBEG fucking dies from his holy wine, and then this mad lad pulls a "He never did appreciate good wine", THE FUCKING MVP, AND HE HIT EM WITH A KICKASS VICTORY LINE

[@felixlavulpe3506]

If I don't finish a session with a pun I consider it a personal failure.

[@akira1086]

@@felixlavulpe3506 You are my hero, you have gained my respect, as a fellow lover of puns, may i have your autograph?

[@fenorlex1126]

If I were to imagine, Abbot would've looked like a "chibi" who squeaks at every step.

[@gelbadayah.sneach579]

This is just beautiful, purely beautiful! It's strategies like this that make for the most epic stories. Sure, taking the BBEG out with hack and slash can be effective, but when you take him out by infiltrating the wine cellar, setting yourself up as the local sommelier, founding your own brand of wine, and then just getting drunk at the final battle because all the pieces are in place, that's when you get remembered for generations to come!

[@jackmack4181]

Monk points at a row of wine: crap crap crap crap crap, poisoned, crap, watered down, crap crap, piss, crap, oooooh an herbal alcohol known to keep the tent pitched, if you know what I mean hhehehe.....(continues on) crap crap, very rare

[@felixlavulpe3506]

Pretty much how it went honestly.

[@Lin2Waterfall]

"You Are Already Sloshed"

[@oniaeon]

Oh, I've been waiting for this story to get onto this channel,all of Felix's stories and characters are simply wonderful

[@felixlavulpe3506]

My simple men

[@snowywynterpuma33]

Iroh (eye-roe) most beloved dad character in avatar the last air bender

[@levikarkiainen331]

LOL, not only did I see that coming, I've done that before. I have a Dwarven cleric who makes Dwarven ale with holy water blessed materials and sacred flame to run the stil. Dealing with a lot of secret Undead and demons, he always offers them blessed Dwarven ale, Dwarven ale is very expensive and very good. So everyone tries it, and you can very quickly discover which ones are Unholy by how badly they are damaged from the alcohol.

[@kevinbarber2795]

Considering it’s Dwarf alcohol, they probably all take liver damage

[@hogfry]

This is the kind of story that always brings me back to D&D. Give me a few creative players having fun and i'll give you the best story tellers in the world.

[@Fox7-h8r]

YEEESS ! You finally did the Niccolosio Abbatangelo story! Hope you read the next 2 other stories too, they're really fun

[@CONfusion2021]

AaaaaAAAA!! This is like one of my favorite stories, there's like three stories with this character but the first is always my favorite.

[@reverseimagesearch0results363]

I'm happy that this story will be heard by new ears! It's probably my favorite ever DnD story.

[@GCJACK83]

In the words of Demo from Team Fortress 2: "I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse!" I might use that for a character build. A constantly drunk master of explosives of all kinds, who has a three way split personality where, depending on what persona is in charge at a given time, he's a sword and shield wielding knight, an explosives expert, or a freak that swings a frying pan at people as a weapon.

[@ImperialCoffee769]

Genius

[@jacobp.2024]

Make sure the freak is an amazing cook with a caring personality towards the party!

[@bigd7861]

My first ever D&D character had 7 personalities, two of which were female, and jealous of each other. They all had their own classes and could speak to each other, except for the regular personality that was just a normal guy that didn't know how to fight or that he had a multiple personality disorder. Took forever to get through a single session because everyone was always laughing too hard and had trouble breathing! 😂

[@jacobp.2024]

@@bigd7861 it does sound pretty hilarious, but I can't help but feel bad for the normal guy. Poor man probably thinks he's got a poor memory and strange fashion sense.

[@bigd7861]

@@jacobp.2024 Yeah, he would just have random black outs. His fashion often caused the two female personalities to argue about what would look better, and the males, except the gay one, would constantly bitch at one of the females to go cook something. 😂

[@Theminecraftian772]

I'd like to think the last thoughts of the demon lord were, "Oh, I see, I did this to myself, That's fair. ."

[@hatsu4679]

You know until today I never thought I'd hear the names uncle iroh and friar tuck in the same sentence let alone mentioning that they had adopted a kid and replaced the tea with wine That lines kind of blew my socks off

[@joshuarobinson8529]

*Drunken Monk Wine* If you called this holiest of wines "the blood of Christ," the Father and Son would probably agree with you.

[@browncoatebberon7121]

This is why I want to make El' Cheffe. A fat bastard that loves to cook and has the goal of feeding the gods, good, evil, doesn't matter. Food so good that they'd be willing to turn him into a deity.

[@DarthHavoc1]

Yes! I’ve been waiting to hear this glorious story for so long!

[@jean-paoloribeiro1738]

Love listening to your work, want to one day play a game of DnD. Honestly it helps listening to these video's it gives me ideas for my writing (Not professional - But love the fantasy world and enjoy good stories) Keep doing what your doing and have a great day.

[@kristinadelfierro1320]

DUDE I wanna be like Abbott when I grow up!! That was awesome 😁

[@nozomiritter5048]

Exactly what I said after hearing this one: Oh that was so good!

[@silvertheelf]

Abbot *has blunderbust* My imagination: “boom ------> (weeeeeee)” The sound of him flying backwards after firing it.

[@tanall5959]

"Doesn't the good book have something specific to say about killin'?" "VERY specific! But it is a bit more vague on the concept of kneecaps..."

[@silvertheelf]

Tanall... although we have no idea if it has anything about being launched backwards by extreme force from a powerful explosion. But what is vague about the concept of knee caps? And no, I don’t get the reference.

[@shikatsu]

@@silvertheelf Its from Shepard Book from firefly commenting on the fact that yes murder is a sin in the bible, but the bible is a little more open about popping a cap in the kneecap.

[@silvertheelf]

@@shikatsu oh, lol.

[@ZorkitKagero]

holy water wine guy? . . ."and his ability to brew the finest of brooze" it is!!!

[@tripple-a6031]

Cheers to St. Nick, that was brilliant :)

[@whitechocolateman1088]

Okay, wow! I did not see that coming! Awesome story!

[@GladRags]

"...to make sure everything is as high quality as God would like." Love it!

[@erikkennedy8725]

Oh geeze, that was funny. The Cleric is usually the center of the party. I had cleric of Dionysus, who had spent time with giants, fae, and centaurs, was big, loud, drunk, and smelly, and absolutely beloved. His entrance occurred when the party was fighting shadows, and he had light as a cantrip. He fought with a massive hammer he eventually cast continual flame on. Despite being chaotic neutral, he was the voice of reason in the party, advocating for life and fellowship (and booze) as his deity taught. He carried casks of alcohol with him at all times, and drank orcish “grok” without even wincing. The DM threw a demon at us once, and my cleric, Cudé Tharn, believing this to be an apocalypse scenario, grabbed the spear on the altar before it could get to it. It resulted in a tug of war- the demon grabbing the spear from him, Cudé grabbing on for dear life to wrest it from him. The DM did not expect this at all, but it was a hill my chaotic neutral life cleric was going to die on. Eventually I roll a natural 20, the demon gets a natural 1, and Cudé has his spear, taking cold damage all the time (mitigated by his cloak of warmth.) We run. Cudé attunes to the weapon, and is suddenly the most powerful damage dealer in the party, better even than the fighter. The DM was careful to never again put a magic item before us he wasn’t willing to let us use.

[@That80sGuy1972]

I created a similar character decades ago, a Priest of Pan. Poison resistant, mild buzz gives bonuses, sloshed a slight inhabitance, delayed old age past maturity (will reverse if priesthood to Pan ever is abandoned, my priest was actually around 70 but was effectively 25 years old), concentration requirement for spells given despite inability to concentrate from drunkenness, identify drug/poison/booze consumed (type and strength), and some other things I cannot remember. Ethos was an inhibition, not allowed armor other than some partial leather or cloth items, lechery, drinking, must pray in the form of song and-or dance, penalty to saves vs. partaking in lecherous or imbibing temptations, weapon restrictions (one-handed bladed melee and otherwise blunted weapons only), required taken proficiencies before others can be taken, and some other things I cannot remember. The other players considered my character a goof until my usefulness started surfacing. My non-obvious superpower was constantly being underestimated. My Priest of Pan would become best friends with that Drunken Monk. I would love to dig that character back up and game with that player and his monk. The irony would be is that I would be much older than him and he would look like my dad or something. We'd probably argue over which Bard had the best original works and what determines quality in food and drink.

[@LezerniWolf]

I only played a handful of one-shots, but I make a ton of characters to try to explore mechanics with "mock encounters." My most interesting character was a Dragonborn sorlock who could kill people a long distance away. Levels 1-3 in Warlock to get Eldritch Spear and Agonizing Blast, as well as snagging Pact of the Chain, then Levels 4-20 in Sorcerer for Distant Spell Metamagic. I went with Draconic Soul as a subclass. Pick up the Spell Sniper feat and you have an amazing sorlock. So, to sum it up, Eldritch Blast is 120 feet. Eldritch Spear increases the range to 300 feet, and Eldritch Blast lets you add your Charisma modifier on top of the 1d10 force damage it does. Pact of the Chain allows you to summon a familiar to scout our areas for you. Spell Sniper doubles Eldritch Blast's range to 600 feet and ignores half and three-quarters cover, and using a point of Metamagic for Distant Spell doubles the distance of Eldritch Blast again to 1200 feet. Having a winged Sorcerer subclass allows you to fly above the battlefield if you can, preventing enemies in most situations from getting full cover. And that's how to make your friends afraid to invite you to their D&D session! 😂

[@katdotson4446]

The firebomb surprise from St. Nick made me just about die laughing.

[@azreon25]

One day I’ll play a character just like this someday

[@lexcentrique2554]

The monk literally killed a demon by giving him holy wine. This is awesome, give my compliments to the chef, please!

[@jetblackchamp]

My unique character? Oh boy lemme tell ya. This character is a Mind Flayer. Like all Mind Flayers, they weren't always one, but... there's something else that makes this one exceptional. He was a human, around his early 20's. He disappeared one day, taken by the Mind Flayer colony that settled not far away, with the village knowing nothing about it. He went through usual protocol, and ended up in the transformation chambers to be put through ceremorphosis. He's mind blasted to hell and back, like always, to make sure he doesn't put up any resistance. The tadpole goes in... and they leave. It doesn't take too long before he returns to his senses again, finally mustering up the willpower to think. Once he does so, he manages to find an escape route. He gets out of the pod, and due to this being a rather new colony, there's not too many Mind Flayers watching over the place either, not that anyone there would expect a subject to successfully get away... He makes his advancements to the exit, two thoughts filling his mind, and those two thoughts exclusively. "How have I not turned yet?", and "Holy sh*t, I'm done for". Somehow, he manages to get out unnoticed. It wouldn't be until they check back in the pod for later that they realize anybody's missing. Once he's out, he runs. He runs back to the village, making a huge scene to warn them about the colony. He gets a chill down his spine. He knows he must get elsewhere. He has no idea *why*, but he can not stay. He goes home and packs his most important things, buys a map, and starts his hike to another town. On his way, he's struck with a terrible headache. He drops to the ground, as the tadpole finally starts acting... Ceremorphisis. It's the word given to the process of a creature turning into Illithid-kin through one of those tadpoles. It has... a certain failure rate, however. And failure doesn't necessarily mean that they are immune to the transformation. It could simply mean that something went wrong with the tadpole, one way or another. It could mean that the host itself has some form of resistance. But in most, if not all of these cases, it simply means that the process goes awry. In the case of poor Dainiel, he remained conscious the entire way through the transformation. His body started changing, eyes altering to better suit such a foul being. But at the end of it all... he stands up, looks down at his hands. He is still himself.

[@SkyLimit101]

Raise a glass to all of us, tomorrow there be more of us, and raise your cups to this Drunk Monk

[@Shatterverse]

Even better than "why would you bless the BATH WATER!?"

[@Talla50k]

Remember when Neckbeardia did a reading on this guy a long time ago, nice to see this again.

[@leonardoromanelli209]

This is the most Cayden approved way of dealing with a problem i have ever seen.

[@kylestanley7843]

Oh, absolutely lol

[@1145223bena]

Abbot has my fav stories

[@jasonespinosa9748]

Ngl I thought the monk took a bite out of the wine glass in the picture

[@Hypowho]

“Just about creamed herself” was not expecting that lmfao

[@MasterrangerABR]

The moment I heard what the wine was made of I knew how the demon lord was defeated.

[@MisterBlackout]

The DM deserves love too he clearly enjoyed this party and running this.

[@Apol1yarc]

Bro had a whole pocket dimension in his wagon

[@antaresmaelstrom5365]

Demonified Lord: "NOW I'LL KILL YOU ALL." Monk swirling a glass of wine : "Omae wa mou shindeiru." Demonified Lord: "NANI?"

[@OriginalCreatorSama]

As soon as he said "going to fuse with a demon" i started cackling. This is ABSOLUTELY some shit i would pull!!

[@OutlawTwilight]

"A blood alcohol level so high a vampire would consider it a hard liquor." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@theenderdestruction2362]

The man could make a killing selling blood bags to vampires that want to have drunk pass out partys

[@denaspire3917]

I haven't even watched this yet and I know it'll be good. I used to play a drunken drow/faun mix (not in D&D but in a roleplay group online). It was loads of fun for years but finally retired her. Folks would often in character ask me if I was a member of the undead and I get into some rambling drunken explanation about "Not that I know of but used to know a necromancer (from a previous RP place) and before the conversation was done they'd be wondering if I was just plain crazy, or for those still thinking I was undead, losing my mind from rot. UPDATE: That was fairly masterful.

[@lockwoan01]

Evil Demon: I will rule the world with an iron fist! Priest: Could you try some of the wine first? Evil Demon: Very well. (Drinks it.) Tasty. (A Few Minutes Later.) Evil Demon: (Screaming in pain!) What was in that wine? Priest: It was made with Holy Water. Evil Demon: No!!! (Explodes!) Priest: (Levels up from the xp.) Ah, nothing like some good wine.

[@elgingero3148]

I love this story, its great and the character is such a unique interesting one

[@eradens932]

One of the best and funniest stories I heard so far

[@stephenstonge7968]

This monk is my hero. We need more stories with Saint Nick.

[@evanlandis990]

TL;DR. Double agent monk forms holy water wine brand with paranoid Lord. Then uses brand as poison when the Lord becomes a demon.

[@Hercules1-v9m]

If I ever make a DnD campaign, this monk will be in it in some capacity.

[@TheFrugalVideoGamer]

As soon as the vomiting was mentioned, I put the pieces together - a regular ingredient in the drink *was holy water* - that magnificent bastard!

[@ryzekiv7147]

“Enjoy the party! Eat, drink, and burn in holy immolation!”

[@Things_I_wish_I_knew]

That twist at the end though... clever, very clever.

[@Sniblet]

“Never did appreciate _Good_ wine” Capital G Epic captions

[@crazypersona100]

Hahaha this sounds like a overpowered NPC!! The monk is really a god send!

[@ornerylurker8296]

I guess you could say,... the demon can't hold his drink.

[@julyol119]

Nice one :) I can see how the players forgot about it in the commotion :) Although I don't think you put water in wine. But that's just RL details.

[@chriswilliamson564]

That was absolutely Hilarious and comical.