Am I Having a Midlife Crisis?

So it's time to ask myself the question we're all thinking: am I having having a midlife crisis? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

[@probablybrian5460]

yeah I tend to have a midlife crisis when I'm not working towards a future goal. Not working on a future goal makes me focus on my present situation. Even if that present situation isn't bad, if I'm not working towards a better future, the present feels very disappointing. Sometimes you need that for a while though, it incentivizes you to get better so you don't have to feel that way anymore.

[@vondelpete]

That's a great point, yeah. It's like giving a space for that crisis. I think sometimes we also get to this point when we're so burnt out - and then it's time to reassess everything, I guess.

[@probablybrian5460]

@@vondelpete and that reassessment period is hard when you're burnt out. I've found daily exercise to be a big help.

[@shane1948]

Very relatable Pete. I am having my mid 20s mid life crisis. Actually it's been going on since 12, with a few short breaks in between. I always thought that when people get one at a younger age, they will dodge crises at a later age. I guess it's not true after all. I feel like seeing every day as a scene in a grand narrative hurts more than helps. It's better to see every day as new, as its own thing. Like Game of Thrones vs short stories. What kind of music would you say runs in the background of your life? I hear nice jazz in the video, it sounds like the opposite of a midlife crisis, but again it could also sound like a waiting room where you wait for some action to begin. Also happy birthday ❤🎉

[@vondelpete]

The midlife crisis started at 12 - ah god. I guess I relate to that too. I agree, better to just see each day as its new thing - definitely more helpful that way. Ha, the background music of my life - I guess it's just relentless skittered paranoid beats with washes of sad synthesisers. Whereas, yeah, the slightly-slowed down jazz in the video does NOT sound like a mid life crisis, I suppose it could the music for the waiting room to purgatory?

[@sirlancevrot3978]

Time cannot be turned back; there is little time left; there is so much to do. Life is finite.

[@vondelpete]

Well this is a very good point.

[@JenniVandalia]

My life has probably gone very differently than yours because I am Appalachian which is its own unique thing but I am excited for my 40s. I don't want to be a young adult anymore. I want solid adult. Also, I am realizing people in their 40s still are very young. I am training in Medical Coding and apparently lots of people in their 40s switch careers. It might be because their is so much pressure to be an adult in the 20 and 30 years that people head down paths that didn't really fit their lifestyle. That didn't seem to answer the life crisis question un a very direct way.

[@midheaven_mimi]

I think you’re spot on about the pressure to be an adult in your 20s and 30s and people heading down the wrong path. Good luck with your medical coding training!

[@vondelpete]

A lot of my friends now are in their forties and they definitely seem pretty young at heart, which I'm very relieved about. That's a very good point about the 20s and 30s, I think that pressure, mixed with a lack of wisdom, can make us go down the wrong path. :)

[@marius4161]

I'm getting close to fourty also. And yes, i ask myself pretty often when did this time passed and why didn't it waited for me to put It all together. The feeling is that I don't really fit into the society and that I didn't reached maturity. Maybe now there is some sort of serenity but I have a strong feeling of lack. Of possibilities never reached. Realistically thinking, those possibilities were not meant to be. If they were, they would have happened. But I still regret them.

[@vondelpete]

It's hard not to have regrets isn't it. I feel pretty similar. It's nice to have some serenity as we get older and maybe learned some things about ourselves. I guess regrets are all part of that too, but then again it's hard to know all the different paths we could have taken!

[@skazzwag8]

Normies: "My midlife crisis is destroying me!" INFP: "I'm really looking forward to my midlife crisis, I'll be able to turn my introspection and angst up to 11! It shall be GLORIOUS!!!! Lets get this party started!!!!"

[@vondelpete]

Haha thank you for supporting me in this!

[@mary44448]

Last year I turned forty and I often feel like I am wasting my life and time, but I think this is the pressure of society I get through my Te inferior. I feel that besides all that is expected of a person of this certain age, nothing has changed that much, maybe just some steady and very slow steps toward inner peace and perhaps harmony with the outer world. But those things are subtle and only I can feel them. I think that's the thing, few pay attention to those things and can see this kind of progress. And what socially acceptable goal is more important than that? I get the same thing when I listen to you.

[@vondelpete]

You really are echoing my thoughts! I often think that - that the steps towards inner peace are huge but only we can feel those steps. It's kind of nice to know we just have a bit of a Te insecurity thing that pops up sometimes (and maybe an unconscious Fe) but trying to cater towards that really does end up being pointless when compared to our actual goals :) I think we know inside that we've been on the right path.

[@Zonaskiosk1]

My midlife crises started at mid twenty’s and lasted for 40 years, till now…I think for INFPs it will only pass at 80 or so Pete ❤

[@vondelpete]

Ah well there's hope for all of us, I guess - I'm going to start collecting candles for that 80th birthday cake now 😁🎂

[@midheaven_mimi]

Yes you are..or at least it’s more than likely you are lol. I’m 41 & going through my own midlife “awakening” as I’m seeing it alternatively referred to online. I like this more positive spin on the whole crisis narrative lol. I know many are not into astrology, and not sure how you personally feel about it, but if you’re curious, you should look into the midlife transits to help explain what you may be going through now and in the coming years. It sounds like what you were going through at 30 was your Saturn return. 💫

[@JenniVandalia]

@@midheaven_mimi I'm 39 and a half. I can't really understand astrology whenever I have tried. The Chinese calendar did correctly predict my sister was going to have a little girl so I know that knowledge can be gained from it. I'm not an INFP. I'm a ENTP. I didn't know people were calling it the awakening. Thanks. I love reading about medical procedures and diseases so it is helping overcome the really you are starting a new job at 40 feeling. I'm using it as a time of contemplation which could be a form of mid life crisis.

[@midheaven_mimi]

@@JenniVandalia astrology is a useful tool for me. Congrats on your niece! Like you said..many people change career paths in their 40s. I’m thinking about doing so myself lol. Maybe your contemplation will lead you to your own awakening.

[@vondelpete]

I love the word 'awakening' here, it is more positive and I think more accurate! I've been meaning to spend more time researching astrology so this is helpful - I like the sound of a Saturn return! Thank you and nice to see you!

[@midheaven_mimi]

@@vondelpete nice to see you too! Let me know what you think if you do end up researching it, and good luck on your journey! Keep us posted!

[@ArmandoDimanche]

That drink is a midlife crisis🤭🤭🤭🤭😹😹😹😹😹😹

[@vondelpete]

Haha it sure was 😅

[@MichelleMy_Unwell]

I’m sorry, that beer doesn’t sound good. Did you like it? I wonder what Thom Yorke would think about that beer. I’m glad you have plans to see him, that’s awesome! I’m so jealous! I feel like you will someday have a couple mansions and then you can have a proper crisis. Then you can buy yourself a yacht to feel better, only to realise later that you’ve lost all your friends because “the yacht has changed you” and you’re not the same person anymore. I am feeling like I’m having a midlife crisis this week because someone pointed out that in 6 years the 80s will be 50 years ago. I’m trying to see “time” as only existing in my current reality and that age is meaningless. It’s not helping.

[@vondelpete]

The beer wasn't great, ha. But drinkable. Yeah I can't believe I'm seeing him but so worried about not being able to see him properly at the venue, but we'll see. Hm yeah I can already hear the accusations that my yacht has somehow changed me, I'll think of some good defences about how it's actually my true self, a reflection of my wonderful 'Fi' haha. Also this is a bit alarming, surely the 80s are only uh, two decades ago, the last time I checked? I'm sticking to that.

[@sicparvismagna1294]

Hi Pete, Well first I'm wishing an anticipated happy birthday. I guess life crisises are not limited to midlife. I guess I'm going through a life crisis although I'm much younger than you. For me it's mostly about: who am I really? Been trying to answer this question but hasn't found the answer yet... See you next time

[@vondelpete]

Yeah that's right, and I am a bit alarmed when I remember the crisis I had in my twenties. Yeah, trying to work out who we are, what we should be doing - but then there's something nice about it being a lifetime search, frustrating as it sounds. take care!

[@sicparvismagna1294]

Thanks for replying. I guess this time I somehow disagree. For me the search hasn't been nice at all... It has been a long painful journey... That's why I want to know the answer soon and not after a lifetime ... Sorry for such dark comment but it really illustrates the situation I'm in.

[@vondelpete]

@@sicparvismagna1294 Hm yeah maybe nice isn't the right word, I think I'm trying to put a positive spin on it.

[@sicparvismagna1294]

I understand but I wanted to be honest about my experience.

[@miguelmqueroa]

One major sign of midlife crisis is that haircut 😅

[@vondelpete]

I wouldn't call this haircut very extreme but thank you for this nice comment