Am I Plural?

[@tikki2340]

“I wish I was faking this for attention” is such a mood. Hope you guys are all alright

[@kirauriel]

yeagh, gods, yeah. take your/y'alls time to figure it out, and hopefully all goes well ;;

[@tikki2340]

An online friend of mine found my KZbin account because of this comment. Thanks Patty, Amber, and others(?)

[@GrouseMan14]

if she keeps multiplying like this we're gonna need a taxxonomist to categorize all of them

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

Hahaha

[@carnalflowers0]

golden

[@basspuppy133]

Patricia Taxxonomist

[@lordernietheduck]

taxxidermist for the rowdy ones

[@limena_et_cetera]

puppyhelic polygon

[@thesatelliteslickers907]

as someone whos been semi out as a system for over a decade now "i dont know how any of this works" is a feeling that is just kinda always there. do i understand it better now than i did when i was a teenager? yeah. do i understand it even a little? hell no

[@gaynebula6439]

MOOD

[@102Mod]

🐭likewise. 🐺it’s complicated and no right answer really but it’s deffo a thing u gotta feel out!

[@AvaToccoRodriguez]

sometimes it feels like soup, sometimes a deconstructed hamburger

[@personpeoplepeoplepersons5722]

I have no idea who I am half of the time

[@ianboswell]

Hey! I'm a psychologist so maybe I can help a little here. I heard you mention Schizophrenia in terms of describing having DI or Dissociative Identities. A lot of people often confuse these terms like they're interchangeable, but schizophrenia and the far more common temporary schizophreniform people go through in life when dissociating are more about your perceptions of the world fluctuating between real and dream like, where as DI is more about you perceiving yourself differently. Things like age regressed personalities are common and often healthy ways to experience things in life trauma may have denied you. The only piece of advice I have to give in your self-exploration is to be sure to avoid magical beliefs that are steeped in absolutism. Beliefs that begin in, "I/They/You Always..." or "I/They/You Never..." are usually not helpful in achieving your self actualization(s) or living a healthy life. As long as you keep that in your mind(s) you shouldn't have to worry about exploring more of who you are or who you could be. Brains are silly soupy things longing to make new connections and play in various spaces. Enjoy the journey!

[@Saltine3022]

Through a partner who had similar echoes of experience I learned I was we a few years ago and yeah on the personal side I can echo DI as being about how you perceive those different modes of being and process those most dissociative periods in your life. You're kinda already on that path if you've started giving them distinct and separate traits, and especially if you're furry that often manifests as a new fursona. Not one to have for fun, but one you distinctly feel like you are sometimes (at least for those of us who perceive fursonas as a representation of an idealized self and not as a fun character that exists separate from the self, both of which are valid interpretations of 'fursona') I am able to carry both trains of thought at once and while it's a little bit more intensive on energy it has really helped me with emotional processing and executive function to be able to talk with myself in a way that isn't super abstract, and to feel like some part of me is taking care of myself when the other part has a strong need to dissociate and cease thought for awhile. I'd actually be super curious to know if there's a correlation between autism and traumagenic plurality. As someone who has to do work and come up with tricks to understand and function within neurotypical social dynamics, this definitely helps with that, and most of the people I know in my personal life who are also plural are somewhere on the spectrum or otherwise neurowacky. There's the whole concept of "masking" which could be perceived as having the potential to lead to plurality or be a nascent form of it. As plurality becomes less perceived as always disordered by the wider psychology field I'm fascinated to see what kinda research might appear over the next decade.

[@DemonixTB]

could you elaborare on what you mean by a Belief that begins with I/They/You Never|Always?

[@leightonshelley]

​@@DemonixTB I think they mean: try not to lock-in (or fall back on) to absolutist beliefs and thinking, such as "I always", "They always", "You always", etc. To become firmly certain in distinguishing borders between parts of a plural system, for instance, could perpetuate the same absolutist ideology as the Individual-Isolated Mind -- and it could lead to the same or similar dissociative experiences trying to be solved with your questioning "self-actualization(s)". --- Further Thoughts on Absolutism --- Absolutism is same Colonial mindset which has created flat and linear political lines between countries. These lines are not really expressive of how people actually think of themselves, or how they belong in the world, but are rather just simplifications for sake of hierarchical Authority. The majority of people assume, after being told so many times and without alteration, that the normative and proper mind is a singular one; as if everyone is the perfect dictator of themselves. This belief is important, because our entire justice system and economy depend on creating the perfect individual which possesses full responsibility and control of all the actions of their own body. If a collective-body was acknowledged to have greater responsibility, whether that be structural problems of general society, Generational trauma, or pluralist people, then none of our social organizing would make any sense. We would have to acknowledge, as a society, that we need to accept ourselves as a collective and work together, if we want to build a world which mutually benefits us all as a whole. But the world does not 'make sense' to me. It is structured to be antagonistic of any and all forms of collective existence.

[@Sugardrop50]

Personally as an autistic traumagenic system I'm inclined to say that there probably is some correlation. If only because like... from what I've known, no autistic person is allowed to grow without being traumatized in some fashion. Typically by the education system, I would guess, but we also experience a lot of strains in work environments. Not to mention how relatives may treat us.

[@LimeyLassen]

@@Sugardrop50 Just having functional self-awareness can be traumatizing,

[@rocktoo7603]

Oh boy. Really hope the comments are respectful.

[@sniksnak559]

"harmony respect love sarcasm" - jacksfilms

[@forgedabauditt9955]

​@@sniksnak559 HRLS

[@PlatinumAltaria]

If this video was a cute montage of puppies playing it would not have respectful comments. Such is the way of the internet.

[@scoreunder]

@@PlatinumAltaria that's true in a sense, but discussion of neurodivergence/disability/LGBTQ issues/race issues/etc are often swarmed upon by bullies and racist facebook uncles. the problem happens on a whole different scale.

[@SylviaRustyFae]

They best be, im defensive about my plural friends; esp moreso as my polycule is half plurals

[@wendigotypes]

saying "there's more creatures" about your own mind is such a mood. i wish all of the creatures the best

[@mrblakeboy1420]

i internally refer to it like that for the people i know who have did. like yeah they both have some other guys in there, most of them are chill, but each system has one Bitch

[@SquamataReptile]

The man in the circle in the corner gets faster the longer the video goes on. He’s in a centrifuge…the flesh and the metal separate…

[@catmacopter8545]

THATS BIG D!!!!

[@4dimensionalcat]

his NAME is THE BIG D

[@SylviaRustyFae]

Captain Disillusion is that man in the circle, if curious about the man bein centrifuged - i know puppyhelic triangle has some vids on his stuff

[@ShadaOfAllThings]

a measure of tension building

[@BubbleBFDI]

Big D spinning

[@forgedabauditt9955]

I am so brutally uninformed about this it feels like discovering queerness again

[@MxPokirby]

Plurality really does come off like Queerness² a lot of the time :p We like it that way

[@ThatOneIrishFurry]

This is exactly how i feel too i could never find the right words!

[@ephemeralgod]

Like queerness, plurality exists on a spectrum. There are many ways to be plural, many origins, etc. and as such with any identity label, you can truly never fit into any one box. All descriptions are inherently reductive because only you can experience your own subjective reality- and truly, that's the only reality you experience, all data is distorted through the lens of your mind. I don't consider myself plural, but others may. One of my gods can take over my body, but they are not an extension of me. They have memories of places that did not exist in this plane, different feelings, logic, they changed my mind on many things. I love them dearly. You can think of plurality as sharing a body with another consciousness - like sharing a password on a Netflix account. Sometimes that consciosuness - or those, if there are many- is an extension of you. Sometimes it is an alter ego. Sometimes a past life. Sometimes a whole different person. None of these things are objectively measurable. Only you can determine your experience for yourself- if someone says they are plural, then they are. It's the same with queerness, or therianism. If someone says they are queer, they are. I learned the hard way from ignoring my mind pleading with me to treat myself like the robot that I am that I wasn't going to get anywhere forcing myself to pretend to be human. I'm a lot happier now because of it. I hope this helps in some way. I apologise for my disorganized thinking, comes with my strange mind...

[@optimisticscales7081]

@@ephemeralgod Not plural myself but known and lived with several plural folk and what you're saying here sounds so right to me. They all were a little bit or a lot-a bit different from one another with their plurality.

[@forgedabauditt9955]

@@ephemeralgod Could you expand on the robot part, please?

[@aries_the_red8000]

As a plural system I’m glad you are figuring this out for yourself. Please don’t get into syscourse though because there is just too much hate going around.

[@jjju3]

im not even plural and syscourse is so scary to me. to be already stuck in such a complicated underresearched and emotionally distressing situation and trying to find help online and being told if you do xyz youre actually just faking it for attention and should feel bad and also not seek professional help.

[@aries_the_red8000]

@@jjju3 honestly if there wasn't so much arguing about the ways systems form, validity of fictives and factive, headcount, all that crap I think we would actually be able to have a community like how r/plural is.

[@viistarzz]

there really is. the best i've done is learn to find a couple close plural friends and not spend too much time in the community for my own mental health, lol

[@kitosanimations]

yep yep yep do NOT get into syscourse i checked it out for a very short period of time and it stressed me out of my mind

[@twotruckslyrics]

running into syscourse while trying to figure out what i am was, not fun

[@terrestrialTerror]

that wave of confusion when your thoughtforms gets sticky, it's familiar. you're braver than I could ever be that is for sure, this place is sickeningly porous.

[@circuitousImpulse]

@@terrestrialTerror other person in the comments section w a chumhandle 😳👉

[@zv3zd525]

corruhead spotted !!

[@terrestrialTerror]

@@circuitousImpulse guilty as charged

[@terrestrialTerror]

@@novadotflac when you relate to a thoughtform being torn apart by the uncosm holding herself together by a fond memory, it makes it hard to deny being her.

[@masterofwriters4176]

Thoughform?

[@CloudCuckooCountry]

I've always felt like my personal experiences of myself and the world just didn't make sense until I started thinking of myself as plural. Maybe I'm just deluded, maybe I'm not, but it makes sense to me and it makes me happy

[@fritzyfox3713]

I wonder if part of that comes from being an artist/writer. I don’t know if I’ve felt this exactly but I certainly sense something when I’m trying to get in the mind of one of my OC’s in order to write them. I begin to know almost everything about them and they start feeling like just another form of my personality. Not sure if this is what everyone else is feeling but that’s how I make sense of it.

[@abstractness]

me too lol. i’ve been having this feeling that something was off ever since i was 13 i think and i just can’t ignore it anymore. discovering that we’re a system has helped us immensely.

[@Flailmorpho]

hey nick!

[@Abonkit]

Wish you luck in sorting this all out

[@milojose3509]

I had a similar experience but in reverse I felt split on who I am but then it became too much so I said frick it don't care anymore I'll just see what happens. Then in a weird way my personalities started to mix? Idk like my conservative business and furry weird sides started to be present at the same time but in a strange cohesive way? Idk whats going on with me I guess it's working?

[@variouswords]

"crowded pressure and unexplained feelings" is so fucking real. ive always put it in terms of "the physical effect of people screaming without the actual sound". im still very early on in all this as well, i hope whatever the hell is happening is the hardest part of this whole deal and it eventually calms down later no matter the cause 🙃

[@LackingSaint]

❤

[@LexYeen]

rare youtuber W spotted

[@puppyhelictriangle]

jack i love u more than i can put into words right now

[@yadayada8415]

ur so real for this

[@cookies2gocookiesftw359]

What a chad

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

Here you are, opening up about deeply personal discoveries regarding your own mind, and all I can focus on is Captain Disillusion spinning faster and faster.

[@SylviaRustyFae]

Congrats on your ADHD diagnosis (I say knowin my ADHD makes it impossible to not hyperfocus on things just like that xD)

[@eggo56789]

don’t worry, we love all of yous

[@glunkert]

"all of me?" shadow the hedgehog appears from the shadows

[@daishoryujin95]

Aaaaallll of me loves aalllll of yous All your dog and raccoon alters *struggles for rhyme* Even if their name is.... Walter

[@lisatroiani6119]

@@glunkert I AM I AM ALL OF ME

[@malaksafa4074]

​@@daishoryujin95clap clap clap

[@nacroni]

@@daishoryujin95sbcg4ap pfp...😊

[@eaklartin2743]

Over the years your music, and your essays have helped me figure out myself. your essays especially with how unabashedly you are yourself without shame is a genuine inspiration to me, foley artist is wonderful and sent me down a journey of self reflection. Knowing yourself is tricky, the brain is strange and fickle, I've felt like I've been multiple people too, giving names to parts of my personality, sectioning them off almost so i can be in more control. The theory of three selves helped me think i wasn't mad, we all got different us's. And with psychological studies on the corpus collosum and split brain procedure, there's credence to say we are multiple minds talking to ourselves, just who we actively are is the average. The combination all the different you's. Think on yourself, name your parts, and don't be ashamed of yourself in any name you give that part.

[@opalpersonal]

"crowded pressure" is a great way to describe being overstimulated as a system. hope you're able to come out the other end feeling more cohesive and calm, whatever form that takes.

[@minnieclark5625]

Therian system here. Hope things get a bit more manageable for you soon-ish. Things were so loud and crowded for us when our system first emerged. Ironically, we're at a point where we miss that. We're down to just two now after over twenty headmates in the first few months. We genuinely hope you reach a form of equilibrium we didn't manage, hon.

[@TheEighthWorld]

Ok wow it’s eerie how similar this is to our experience We had like 20 headmates and then realized that we needed to stop putting ourselves in a box and a lot of them merged into just a few and everything became a lot more clear and somehow a lot more complicated at the same time. And I miss them. It’s been over a year of this and I still don’t know how anything works. It all keeps changing. There are days where I wonder if any of it even happened. But I kinda just gotta learn to accept the fact that none of it’s gonna make sense and that’s okay.

[@minnieclark5625]

@@TheEighthWorld Wow, yeah, that is eerily similar. Sadly, we don't know why the downsizing happened for us. We just woke up one morning, I was here with our host when I had just been a childhood imaginary friend before, and there were like five of us that then dwindled to three. I get wishing things would settle down and let you figure the rules out, though...

[@TheEighthWorld]

@@minnieclark5625 me too. thanks for the kind words. at the moment figuring out system stuff has taken a back seat but it’s still very much something that I Should Do™️ at some point. at the moment we’ve got around ten headmates and they blur into one another and we’re all very much a mass of liquid more than a bunch of solid people if that makes sense

[@fuzzfacesys]

wishing you all well as a system that also stumbled their way through entertaining fursonas until we forgot what time was plurality can be a very convoluted and frightening thing and everyone's experience is different, remember that patience (as well as boundaries and communication) with your sysmates is a massive part in navigating this, and that at the end of the day your fellow alters are all people of their own and you can't always do everything the same and won't always see eye to eye we first fell into all this at about 12 amd it's been a long way, but you'll get there in time too!

[@BProduct87]

1:39 is it the raccoon?

[@1000dumplings]

im thinking its rambley

[@TurbopropPuppy]

rambley fictive let's indigoooooo

[@DeepDiveDevin]

you're saying that like there's only one possible raccoon

[@terrestrialTerror]

@@DeepDiveDevin he's dancing in the top left corner of the screen.

[@DeepDiveDevin]

@@terrestrialTerror there's more than one possible raccoon

[@jorgehaswag7294]

the little spoon cover makes a bit more sense now lol

[@JadePerardua]

Erinnis: I wish you the absolute best in your journey of self discovery. Our experience with therapy has been up and down regarding dissociation and plurality, but the therapists who have been understanding have helped. At the end of the day what’s important is that you’re able to live your life as healthily and happily as you can. You will know best how well a given method of handling what you’re experiencing helps. Take care.

[@surgeeo1406]

About a century ago, we had a poet here in Portugal, who kept finding different identities while writing, he rarely wrote as his "real self." He ended up with over thirty identities, with different names ages and backgrounds. This is an extreme case though, Chinese pop singer Hua Chenyu talks about having seven of them, and even tried to make them all colab in composing a song, called Seven Personalities. This to say, you're not insane for this reason speciffically, but it's a good idea to talk to a therapist about it.

[@MxPokirby]

Honestly wouldn't recommend. We would never want to be officially, legally diagnosed as plural under our current systems. We enjoy having rights.

[@carpetburns4007]

@@MxPokirby therapists don't have the power to officially diagnose, that's what psychiatrists are for

[@muffin_crow]

@@MxPokirby Going to a therapist is not only getting a diagnosis. It's about finding healthy ways of living your life

[@enzo-vm2vu]

are you talking about Fernando Pessoa and his heteronyms?

[@Matheus_Braz]

​​@@enzo-vm2vu I fucking hated having to memorize this dude and his quadrillion different heteronyms and the style of poetry associated with each of them for school

[@y7o4ka]

Please, PLEASE talk to a specialized therapist. They can really help to piece your thoughts together and figure out the details and what's best to do from now on. We're all here together for you, but in these situation it is just better and easier to get professional help than try to figure things out from stuff on the internet

[@chalkskeleton3653]

Oh hey we got a full “thanks for watching”

[@asdfhsfdtehaed]

That's how you know it's a serious video

[@jessehunter362]

Not quite- we got "thanks for watchin-"

[@gorimbaud]

we got one last time too! i was a little surprised

[@ObjectiveChaos]

I am experiencing the same thing. I've been thinking about my identity recently, and how I feel really just changes every day. IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN BUT I'M BASICALLY 3 PEOPLE AT ONCE. I understand it just as much as you guys, which is to say not at all.

[@Flailmorpho]

[@MxPokirby]

We love the word menagerie :)

[@SixArmedSweater]

@@MxPokirbyIt’s what we call our plural girlfriends. 💖

[@MxPokirby]

@@SixArmedSweater That's so cute!

[@Cybirdpunk]

Plural bird here! I had been having an identity crisis back in 2019 when, while listening to music with some friends of mine, the walls inside suddenly came down just enough that I could finally communicate internally. I hardly know anything about how plurality works enough to be comfortable talking about it and I'm going on 5 years of recognizing myself as a system. Also constantly beating myself up a little bit because I am almost never operating myself as just one part of me, but I don't feel comfortable using "We/us" to describe myself despite always wanting to. Good luck with the self-discovery!

[@angelthingjenny]

Whatever conclusions you reach, please keep in mind that it's going to be okay. I know firsthand that this can be a heavily nerve-wracking state of mind to be in, and maybe I'm just reading too much into the tone you voiced this video in, but as much as even expressing this kind of feeling can make you all feel like you're some kind of delusional nutjob, but it's important to give yourself that ounce of kindness of letting all of you take a deep breath. It'll be alright. Coming to understand this better might even make you all more comfortable in the long run.

[@WangleLine]

Wishing you luck figuring everything out. I love you no matter what

[@MalicProductions]

We appreciate you coming out about this. It's been a weird and wild ride for us too.

[@AndyTheWatchdog]

I don't have any experiences with plurality, I don't know what to say to best show support and care... You and all plurals out there deserve safety, kindness and happiness, no matter what. I really wish you all the kindest of support systems. Stay safe out there

[@circuitousImpulse]

your music helped me figure out that i’m plural (and an animal). this video made me really happy, i’m so proud of you 🥺😭

[@idadeerz]

if i can offer a word of advice, i don't think you should be embarrassed about having a fictive. fictives are weird; they kind of _are_ and _aren't_ their canon counterpart at the same time. i became plural as the result of a very similar situation in which i wanted to pretty much keep a comfort character with me at all times as a way of coping with trauma. for years, neither of us really wanted to acknowledge who she was based on, as she was her own person and it would've been, well, too embarrassing to admit - _especially_ considering all the people on the internet who think anyone with a fictive is a "faker". but over time we realized that, like... nobody really cares. nobody whose thoughts actually matter to me would be mean about this. my headmate never had any issues ignoring this part of her identity which she is immutably linked to, but she _is_ just a lot happier identifying as her every now and then. fictives and comfort characters are a powerful force against trauma and if anyone thinks that means you're faking this, then honestly they have no idea what they are talking about. for us, things work better if we don't have to hide who we are, it feels healing to be open about it and it means my headmate doesn't have to repress anything, so i think this is something that's very important to figure out through communication. if for any reason you wanna talk to another plural furry musician, my contact info is probably not that hard to find. if it is, i do know we've got a handful of mutual friends so i'm sure you could get my discord through that. anyways hope this helps

[@masterofwriters4176]

Great, now I have an identity crisis just hearing about this. Even with full knowledge i don’t have DID, the knowledge of my personality shifting over time and the degree to which I code switch, on top of a bunch of self discovery stuff, leaves me with confusions over my identity. I’ve looked at old sonas that were so radically different representations of me I can’t fathom how they were made by me, or wether the person who made them was me, or what “I” am, spread out over time.

[@iambad]

I like to think of a "person" as just a mental model that predicts the behavior of a body. The body itself isn't a person. A person is just an idea. Then you just apply as many as you need to describe reality. Over time the body changes, and the model falls out of date - that covers the common phenomenon of being different people over time. The body may behave slightly differently in different context - that explains how we can be different people at work vs at home (online vs offline, with friends vs with family etc). The variations may be so subtle that you can get away with using a single model all the time for a long time, but it's not so outlandish to imagine that variations over short times and similar contexts could be drastic enough that a single model simple can't work. But at the end of the day, a person is just a model. In reality, there is no such thing as a person (except insofar as a mind that formulates a model must contain some physical representation of the model, and also accepting that mind, body, models etc are all themselves just ideas and not the real). (Bearing in mind also that the body can contain models for itself - not just other bodies).

[@diydylana3151]

Its okay, Identity is inherently kind of a fluid thing. People change, they have masks/code switches, sides, parts, dialogues in their heads, imaginary aspects, mixed feelings, etc. You have your numeric identity (x body as opposed to body Y) and the qualitive one (what youre like compared to others) but the latter is always a reductive abstraction of sorts. Ususlly its that people have trouble feeling confident in what they're like. But when people disassociate, they have trouble with whether theyre even real and whether they're actually numerically 1. On a pure functional level of distinguishing you between something else you're already lost. While most will at least know theyre them on a basiclevel like knowing that chair 1 is not chair 2, they just don't feel confident about the details.

[@GameyRaccoon]

I am inside your walls as we speak

[@VeeFerns]

damn, the thing we'd thought since the therian video but didn't want to say because we thought it'd be kinda rude to just say something like that about someone unprompted might be true.

[@negativeresponse9165]

is it rambley? surely its not rambley

[@hwithumlaut8288]

I feel like she’s explicitly said it’s him on her tumblr at some point

[@meanderingsquirrel885]

​@@hwithumlaut8288 I am almost certain that no, that did not happen.

[@theencolony5595]

Update: it is rambley

[@upumpkin]

System here, wishing you support!

[@tembieg5434]

I used to entertain the idea I might be plural/a system but my Aunt who had a degree in psychology threw shade on that notion and so I stopped thinking that but now I've realized she just has a very calloused and cynical approach to mental health cause she said I might be trying to "have mental problems because other trans people do and that its an issue in the community" Im not sure what I'm dealing with particularly, but I now know it isn't nothing. My body doesn't necessarily begin and end with my skin. I have a "ghost" that I can feel around my body that doesn't always map to my actual body. It changes shapes and isn't always a human shape. Sometimes I feel shaped like Noelle from deltarune and sometimes I'm shaped like a dog or a mouse. One time I woke up with an out of body experience and saw myself from above but I was a much chubbier girl. Before I had started transitioning the disconnect from my body was very strong and I would often be on autopilot or feel shadows of myself bleeding off of my body. I'm still unsure as to what this all is, I'd just been calling it dysmorphia for a time. Every shape I feel is "me" but attributes of my personality may be more pronounced. The way I absorb reality might shift and so does my body language and behavior. When my gender starts to move in the territory of "girl" I begin to feel various "girl shapes" I also feel a presence of angel wings at times.

[@Yipper64]

from what ive researched dissociative identity disorder is 1. sort of controversial in the psychological world; I.E. there's no consensus as to if it *actually exists* or not, but 2. not multiple personalities. Like not multiple different people in one body with different thoughts/opinions, but more like a "less than one" deal. Idk exactly how it works, but needless to say, nothing like the movies. All of that metaphysical stuff is needless to say, unscientific as well. Your "out of body experience" sounds like a strange dream to me. Possibly one with a slight tinge of... Lets just say it sounds like a wet dream. You absorb reality with your eyes and ears. Like everyone else.

[@tembieg5434]

@Yipper64 Don't you "errrrm. Unscientific me👆🤓" fucker. Fuck off. I don't know what I experience but its definitely not nothing. Its real to me. My body is shaped weird shapes and it feels wrird things and I act and do weird stuff. My experience of reality isn't the norm.

[@tembieg5434]

@Yipper64 Don't "errrrm unscientific 👆🤓" me loser. What I experience is definitely not nothing and I know that from relating the experiences of my life to the experiences of others. My body is weird shapes and those shapes change. My mind changes. Things have a habit of shifting. This is the norm for me but it isn't the norm for others.

[@Yipper64]

@@tembieg5434 I never said it was nothing. I just said what its not. Shifting is also fictional.

[@tembieg5434]

@Yipper64 Fictional versus reality is irrelevant when viewing psychology. What my perception of reality is and who and what I am is subject to me and how I experience it. From an outsiders perspective they don't see the shape I am. They see the skin. My flesh body. What I am doesn't map to my skin. I am an experience, a feeling, a soul, a mixture of stimuli that has no set beginning and end. I'm a shape.

[@jessehunter362]

Age for selves within a plurality is... complicated. But from what i've seen it's largely self determined? The age one feels rather than the age one strictly is from lived experiences.

[@CelestialCervine]

Relatable. I graduated highschool recently. I went in person for senior year to an art school and it was the first time I wasn’t homeschooled since 3rd grade. I knew my mental health wasn’t the best but going to that year of school made me realize not just how bad some of the stuff I knew about was, but brought into the spotlight stuff I had literally never even considered before. I mean I spent all day every day in my house mostly alone it isn’t hard to miss the fact you’re dissociating under those circumstances. Anyway I have terrible memory both as far as remembering events and just remembering when something happened or in what order but at some point while I was going to school I somehow pieced it together that what was happening was not normal. Not necessarily in a bad way it was just… I mean it was new to me in that I just realized it was happening but once I noticed it it felt like it had been there for a long long time. I guess I could compare it to living without glasses before knowing you need them? In a vacuum you don’t notice anything is wrong then you get to be around other people and you can tell they aren’t the same as you. Then you find out what specifically makes them different (or just like… a reasonable guess I suppose I haven’t been diagnosed with DID or the like nor have I sought out professionals for it yet) and then suddenly it becomes so obvious that it’s just been there all along. Holy shit, my vision is blurry and I can remember it being that way forever, but until now I didn’t really pick up on it beyond just “there is something different about me compared to the others I’m comparing myself to” but yeah I don’t have the order of events or even a fully accurate recollection of what they were but at some point I realized I was doing something that was… probably dissociation? And then that somehow turned into me suddenly having a visual of the specific “person” who the dissociation belonged to. It’s the same with me where it was sort of separate fursona type deals. Idk what came first or when but the basic overview right now is there is a wolf who is mostly responsible for the dissociation and just general blunt and efficient mannerisms when I talk to people in public, there is a dog (border collie) who is moreso the embodiment of when I have extreme bouts of emotion, whether it be a 2 week long horrible anxiety attack or like if a simple argument that normally wouldn’t phase me brings me to tears. Like she is pretty fragile but also sensitive in a way that generally allows for more empathy. Then lastly there is a Hyena who’s initial discovery came from more manic traits? Like whether it be the genuine extreme mania or just very excited or pumped about something. Can also be anger too but usually a sort of righteous anger? Like the kick a bad guy’s ass type of anger. You know like those fantasies lots of people have of like saving your family from the home invader through the power of incredible, generally far from even remotely justified violence. None have names yet. Kinda just go by the name Cosmic like as a group and when a specific one is discussed I just say the species like I have here. It feels odd in that a lot of the time they feel like fully separate people and then other times I forget I’m even like this at all. Although I guess since I’ve graduated I haven’t been out in the real world much so maybe that’s why. I haven’t been around people that would make any difference or shift in behavior/thought patterns noticeable. I’m similar to you and Amber in that I have a lot of overlapping memory. Like even during times where I knew for a fact I considered myself to be one of the specific three I still had memories from being the others or times where I didn’t know what I was. I mean in fairness I guess if I was missing memories from that I likely wouldn’t know unless someone else brought attention to it but even then how do I know it’s not just the usual amount of stuff a person forgets or just a result of my adhd. Idk. Anyway thanks for making this video it felt nice having an excuse to share my experience with this somewhere.

[@CelestialCervine]

Oh and also just an interesting note. I just realized I presented them in a specific order. Wolf, then dog, then hyena. Which feels odd because technically there shouldn’t really be an order for this right? Like would you look at triplets and claim one was the first one was the middle and one was the last triplet? But for some reason it just feels right to me to introduce them in that order. I genuinely have no idea why it’s just how I’ve always done it. Oh and I relate to the “none of us think in words it just feels like crowded pressure and random feelings” thing. It can be frustrating at times since it’s really not helping me figure this stuff out but I’m not about to yell at myself because myself is inconveniencing myself by not making it clear whether I am myself, myself, or myself lol.

[@francegamer]

This is maybe insensitive but PLEASE break stuff like this into paragraphs. It makes things so, so, so much easier to read. What you wrote here was pretty neat and I'm glad to have read it, but you cannot have a comment with ~23 sentences and zero line breaks. >w< Anyways. Have a great day or night wolf-dog-heyenagirl who is also a Terry Pratchett fan I think!

[@CelestialCervine]

@@francegamer oh sorry about that yeah this was very stream of consciousness for me when writing it so I kinda forgot LMAO. Thanks for mentioning it though I’ll remember to break it into paragraphs next time. I’m glad you found it interesting though! Other than speaking about this here the only person I’ve told about this is my boyfriend so it’s nice seeing outside people react positively to this.

[@francegamer]

@@CelestialCervine I'm glad you feel validated by me! :3 I am even more glad you're immediately breaking your text into 2-3 sentence chunks based on the topic! Thanks miss! x3

[@gaynebula6439]

Seeing you talk about this, and seeing so many fellow systems in the comments, makes me very happy. Have patience with your self/ves, because it takes a while for headmates to develop into coherent people. Artistic tastes are a good place to start, because you learn a lot about yourself without having to sweat the big horrible existential questions that dissociative disorders can pose. Take your time, talk to others with DID and give everyone as much breathing room to explore themselves as possible. These first few steps are often the hardest, and I'm extremely proud of you for accepting this reality, even as you relatably wish you were faking it to seek attention.

[@misterspoo7068]

mitosis

[@trippprofant8747]

Absolutely killed me! 🤣

[@seeincn4044]

welcome to the club bub. we thought about you being plural, but dismissed it because we were biased and disagreed with your opinions. remember: anyone can be plural. and headmate can be anything, etc. etc.

[@seeincn4044]

headmate and alter are the same btw.

[@sizergeorge210]

as a questioning "pretty sure i have it but i have no professional diagnosis" plural myself (i'm leaning towards the pdid persuasion because i'm usually Myself and then sometimes i am Other People when Severely Stressed which is Often and also median + multiple at the same time???) I FEEL THAT CROWDED PRESSURE AND IMPULSES IN THE HEAD THING even when they're SILENT VERBALLY they're not all the way SILENT you GET IT patricia

[@QueenFondue]

That sounds rather in line with our experiences, as well. We also thought about a fursona too hard until they showed up lmao. Is it Rambley? I'm guessing it's Rambley.

[@daishoryujin95]

I mean, no other fictional character (that we know of) has fixated her like that.

[@asdfhsfdtehaed]

Puppyhelics Triangle or Puppyhelic Triangles

[@theencolony5595]

Puppieshelic triangle

[@asdfhsfdtehaed]

@@theencolony5595 Puppyhelic Rectangle

[@junolysses]

not plural here, but I'm personality disordered and have dealt with a lot of dissociative and psychotic traits. this comment ISNT me saying "you have this and not that" because I dont know you at all and I'm not an expert on the matter. but I've always questioned wether or not I'm plural in some way, in the past I dealt with a lot of dissociation and brain fog, but I've concluded that this is probably just an individual stress-induced trauma response (personality disorders are caused by trauma after all) because it only happens very rarely. I also tend to quickly shift in interests and mannerisms, but I also think this is more of a combo adhd thing and the fact that mood swings and extremely black/white thinking are common in most cluster b people. so I dont really think im symptomatic enough to be plural, but I always find it strange how similar-yet-different a lot of my symptoms are. really the point I'm trying to make here is that mental health is really confusing and its hard to put it all into one box. I wish you the best on your journey :)

[@RNLFoofiekins]

I'm plural, and recently had a really rough time coming out to some people who I thought I could trust with anything. Seeing this video from somebody I respect was very comforting. I also expected a very gross comment section, and was pleasantly surprised to see people not only being very supportive, but a lot of people going "hey! I'm plural too! :)". It makes the landscape feel a lot less dangerous. I really feel that bit about wishing you were making it up for attention. I really really wanted it to not be real, and was still going "I'm not completely convinced this is actually happening" in the middle of some very silly things to not be convinced by - "I don't think I'm plural, but my headmate disagrees" was just a funny anecdote from a plural friend of mine once upon a time. I was also able to acknowledge, in the moment, how freaking *silly* of a statement "we've spoken about places where the D/s stuff interferes with our actual interpersonal dynamic" was when I still thought I might not be plural. I had positive relationships with a few plural people before this happened, so I had a familiarity with all of this that made it a lot easier to wrap my head around. I've had a few instances of just completely forgetting that these people I've spoken to look exactly the same, or can't physically exist independently of each other. The core concept of "one body, multiple people" is very straightforward, but there's a lot of wacky mechanical stuff that comes with it. Language(this one, anyway) and the societal concept of what it means to *be* a person clearly evolved assuming everybody gets their own brain and body. Relatedly, I really wanted something physical to happen that unambiguously couldn't happen to a singlet, like the body moving on its own. Turns out, it had! It's just that the body being moved using the same set of muscles it normally does feels exactly the same. (YMMV, I've spoken to people who have had some pretty absurdly unambiguous physical situations) I guess my overall point is that all of this is *really strange* and that it can be easy to doubt what's happening. This kind of thing is generally depicted as so much more fantastical than it really is. (and, well, if your experience *does* end up being more fantastical than mine, I guess we don't have to worry about it being too ambiguious to lean into in the first place 😋) (FWIW, I had success acting as though I was plural before I had accepted it. I figured that, even if I wasn't, clearly this kind of framework resonates with me and would be useful) I'm not a seasoned plurality veteran or anything, the first of us noticed something was up under two months ago, but if for some reason you want to talk about this to some stranger, you should reach out. I realize offering at all is very autistic, and I normally wouldn't for that reason, but I imagine you'd get it, at least on some level. ~~Oh God I'm actually posting this message oh God~~

[@102Mod]

As a plural system and longtime follower of your stuff.. glad you’re sorting things out and discovering yourselves.

[@muttiilpomodoro4354]

Plurality is something very foergin to someone untill they experience it themselves, just don't be afraid to discover and undertsand yourself and also maybe keep a written journal so it helps sort things out and "Put them down" somehwere, settling all the fuzzy and weird things that are running in the mind to understand them better and help you have a sense of being grounded without having to rely on an unstable and fluctuating state of mind Also is there a discord server?

[@docdoc.4500]

Hey, as someone who discovered I was a system awhile back, I really resonate with everything you said here and believe you

[@DemonixTB]

first, you are very very brave to go out about this, i wish your close circle accepts you with utmost compassion and understanding and that you figure out for yourself what is going on. as for me second, a self indulgent ramble nobody asked for: ive been privately out about this for around 2.5 years now. i know the exact reason why i turned out this way, which makes things both simpler and worse because i often berrate myself for how common that situation is and how most people turn out fine from going through it i came out the other end as a pair of personified ficticious creatures from that one game that was super popular in 2016, you know the one i was already an anxious bundle, this made things so much worse, the embarrassment of thinking about what i am disgusted me so much, but there was nothing i could do to revert it, convince myself it isn't real, and i tried and tried to no avail eventually i finished and moved schools, things got calmer, i learned to tolerate myself most of the time, things got better on the surface. but a few years back i got into a relationship and i decided to come out about this past, and it turned out i wasnt fine at all, and she was very understanding (i didnt know it at the time but she was plural leaning at the time as well and eventually came out too) and that lead to me coming out to my friend group as well. surprisingly most people took it well, but, a very close, ND friend then took it the exact way i feared and hoped for, ... they wanted to understand it, and we couldn't really provide amicable explanations, which caused them a lot of distress, so over the course of two and a half years or so we got interrogated about every aspect of it, all in guise of letting them understand it more. there were a lot of arguments, lots of scientific paper reading (the research is, harrowingy un-numerous and dissapointingly nonrigorous or cruel or both) in the end they started reading Hofstadter's I am A Strange Loop which has a chapter on twins, and paired loops, finally that and further conversations with us helped them tolerate our existence i dont know whether this is a warning, or a tale of no point, or a story of hope for you that you can, if you and others try hard, understand it enough to be content with yourself. i just want you to be okay.

[@punkspill]

Your sentiment about wishing you were just faking for attention really hit home for me. But being around fakeclaiming discourse for years has only driven me further away from understanding my system. Regardless of if my symptoms and disorder aren't valid enough for some internet stranger, they're real to me. If they're real for you, that's all that matters. I'm rambling at this point, but I wish you the best in your own journey of self discovery (or many selves.) Some things get easier with time, and some things will always be a bit weird. I hope you find your way

[@sapphirestarblazer6805]

i am also a system and consider one of my headmates my own daughter and. honestly i need to go to bed so im going to make this quick: i think you're a lovely person. one of the things ive learned as a system host is that listening is an important skill. i think you'll work things out. yeah.

[@thesatelliteslickers907]

i need to talk to more systems with experience of having a member being the parent of another alter. having a kid who is also a person in your own head is... weird.

[@MxPokirby]

@@thesatelliteslickers907 In a way, I feel like all of my headmates are my children. But more in like a "Holy Mother/Father" way than an actual blood-parent way. But also two of them are married, so

[@thesatelliteslickers907]

@@MxPokirby i consider our little to my actual adoptive daughter. like I'm her dad

[@zackbuildit88]

Oh my goodness, stranger on the internet being respectful about plurality... waow!!!

[@legendarysoil1064]

Sisyphus’s Mario in the background pushing himself instead of a boulder really heightens the existential nature of this video. I can actively feel the urgency and confusion 10/10 editorial choice

[@Swiftpaw12]

Fuuuuck I didn't need to see this when I'm questioning the same thing; when you mentioned the "secondary fursona" that became a little too tangable... something very similar has happened to me, very recently, and I'm not sure if it means something or if it was just a trauma response to a really, REALLY bad week I'd had when it happened Here's hoping we can both find the help we want/need.

[@Sunny_Haven]

I fortunately didn't experience this when I discovered that I was a system but a lot of my recently-discovered-system friends have (funnily enough, I've seen you in the Discord server where they all hang out), one headmate/alternate personality seems to pop up and you question if that makes you a system, then it feels like when that question appears in your head, suddenly a lot more voices or presences have appeared and you don't know how to sort it all. I don't think I have any solid advice, unfortunately - I don't have any firsthand experience so I can only talk about what I've observed - but one way to ease that pressure might be to figure out who is sharing your headspace more and sharing that information with trusted friends. Trying to figure out their personality traits, likes, dislikes, etc. Having your friends try and talk with them. One friend of mine has had an easier time doing that by making D&D characters and their headmates attaching themselves to those characters (temporarily or permanently) to discover themselves more. From what I've seen, that pressure comes from those beings wanting to be known, to be acknowledged after being buried for so long. I know some systems have memory gaps when someone else fronts (that experience you were describing when you had been Amber/triggered into becoming her; they go to the "front" of the mind and take control), some have fuzzy memories about what happens when they're not fronting, some just flat out don't remember at all. I personally don't have those memory gaps with my headmate. Also, one thing to mention, headmates and being plural doesn't always stem from trauma. Some headmates might and some might be there for other reasons. I wish you all lots of luck on discovering if you're plural and sorting all of this out. You're very brave for talking about this on KZbin as it could easily result in a lot of ridicule. I hope any of this information helps

[@MxPokirby]

Yay :D Tbh we took a moment to brace ourselves before clicking on this vid, but happy to learn we didn't need to. Pleasantly surprised to hear how familiar you already are with some concepts. :) Idk why, but there's been lots of new systems popping up around us lately. It's kinda cool, after *we* had to go through the process of coming out by ourselves a while ago. Normalization good

[@weirdauditrice]

I honestly have no idea what to say, or rather how to say what I want to say in a decent way, so I guess I’ll be blunt That does indeed sound like some kind of dissociative identity disorder, and as someone who has had a “system” for over a year and also dedicated a decent amount of time into researching and picking apart patterns in other folks systems… I dunno. Just know that things get easier with time. And also weirder sometimes, but mostly easier. Y’all have my support, of course. I hope y’all’s terrible dissociation doesn’t last forever, haha

[@electricnezumi]

professionals suck about this. good luck. 85% of them will treat Amber and any others as a problem to be solved, a behavior to be eradicated. I don't know if you've gone through ABA, but something similar to that's the standard procedure if you tell them what you've said in this video. if you don't want that, you'll have to hop from place to place until you find someone who is interested in hearing you out.

[@FreshAlacrity]

Seconding this - some therapists are great, some are still stuck in the deficit/pathology paradigm. There's good ones out there, so if you can, keep trying them out until you find somebody that can understand where y'all are coming from. My system found it helpful to ask what they know about plurality as a subject before talking about personal experiences, to quickly filter out folks who were gonna try to push us to integrate or go ham with IFS therapy or something like that.

[@SylviaRustyFae]

1:04 Age and systems can be a tricky thing bcuz of things like this... Esp moreso bcuz this sounds like its separate from havin an 11 yr old Little alter; its not that you feel 11 exactly, right? Just that youve been around for 11 yrs, and youve just aged roughly along with the body? Age beyond the clear physical age is a tricky thing for a lot of people within systems, bcuz its a very fuzzy thing more oft than not; when it is strictly tied down to an age, thats usually a case of a Little alter, which is very much akin to inner child trauma work - but much more literal and your brain did it as a defense mechanism to protect that very real inner child I rly hope you soon get to gain a much better understandin of all that is you :3 Yall deserve to know all of you and to figure out how yall want to live life *together*

[@puppyhelictriangle]

Avery is, indeed, a good deal younger than the body.

[@SylviaRustyFae]

@@puppyhelictriangle Ahhhhh, so more of the first thing than the other. Glad Avery has yall lookin out for her :3

[@pugjuice8462]

​@SylviaRustyFae just a polite correction, Avery goes by she/her.

[@238Hero238]

Arcus was a character in my story for the longest time, only a little less time than my actual sona, Xargon... And then one day several years ago, he just decided not to be fictional any more, I guess. He collected all the parts of me that Xargon didn't like and essentially crystalized himself out of them, developing his own desires and opinions. It certainly is.. a thing you notice one day. Yep.

[@apia46]

plurality seems like one of those things that just sit below the surface of these kinds of spaces; its kind of shocking that only now do i find such a public, direct discussion about it, and a weird form for it to take too

[@p1nstark]

The way you're describing it makes me accepting that i might also have an Identity crisis

[@Maker0824]

ey, nice. Wish you luck on your journey of discovery. Not an easy road for sure, but I think you can do it

[@gaiusjuliuscaesar8450]

I really hope you can get all this sorted out Amber is a lovely name btw

[@wackjobius1588]

It is so bizarre to see this video posted not even a single week after starting to accept that I may be plural. And with nearly all of the same language I've been using to describe it to myself and others too!!! I've just gotten so tired of pretending that having full ass conversations with separate distinct people in my head (and verbally!) for whom they share radically different perspectives, lives, likes, dislikes, accents, even handwriting... was just... autism... or being trans... or secretly being possessed by an evil demon, idfk. I've at least come to the conclusion it's likely not schizophrenia because I don't hallucinate in any form or fashion. The voices are internal. Also the *pressure* that's such a good way to put it. I absolutely experience that with meltdowns, and it feels like there are dozens of internal people yelling incomprehensibly to be heard for each of their individual agonies. Also, an interesting addendum, I've deliberately avoided making any kind of fictional characters, picrews, background stories, or just any kind of art involving people for the simple reason that I was terrified that if I did, I would become them. I guess I was on to something there! Of course, this didn't stop me from having multiple people in my head, but it did make it easier to ignore! (would not recommend ignoring it)

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

Mood. I stopped making detailed ocs when the one i roleplayed as the most almost developed a presence and i absorbed aspects of then

[@dylanjoyce8104]

Also this is a realy cute and funny thimbnail

[@Tribar42]

Idk if this is helpful at all, but something that helps me deal with dissociative epsiodes is constantly narrating my life in the first person, like I am washing dishes, I am playing a game, etc. As for plural stuff, I just hope that goes well for you/y'all.

[@pckyart]

I don't know you, and I have no experience being plural. But "I WISH i was faking this for attention" is the realest of them all. I've always had some weird feelings of "alternative mes" because of CPTSD, as the brain protects itself, but I never really felt like they had a voice, and I always felt like maybe I was faking it (I'm definitely not, but I'm too cowardly to talk about it). Be you, Puppyhelic. If they have a voice, listen. Promise we will not judge

[@rabidlovinggg]

we had this same realization about... exactly a year ago now, actually. i can say for myself at least that you absolutely shouldnt go looking or asking after repressed memories without at least some external guidance or support. made that mistake once. never again. yeouch. a (sort of) fun thing you could try doing is system mapping, depending on how many yous youve got roaming around it can be either a really complicated or very simple task of showing where your headmates are distinct vs where they overlap vs ones that are connected by origin but maybe not at all in terms of function/identity and etc. anyway wishing u luck and the least amount of pain working through it

[@Slimeprimcess]

These videos consistently feel like my brain when on drugs

[@lonelytac0]

Mood actually. I'm also going through stuff like this rn. So this is very relatable. We multiplying We ain't losing the they/them arguments anymore

[@kina5146]

That's tough!! I've got some plural friends, it can def be confusing for them (at least initially) and for many others who aren't that informed. Wishing you all the best and sending love and support through this next journey of yours ❤

[@angiogenolyte]

it feels nice to know i'm not alone in this, i've been having similar feelings lately with identity struggles. i hope you can get things sorted out soon

[@koenko]

in the event that you read this: hey. i'm part of a system myself (figured it out just 3 years ago now) and i have to say from experience what you're describing *definitely* sounds like plurality. the way plurality works in the context of trauma is that its very much designed to hide itsself from you for as long as possible, so its unsurprising that this is a newer discovery if it ends up being the case. the unraveling of identity is both a common experience and a frightening one. once you realize what constructs who you are could potentially be a blend of different people all wearing the same "outside identity" it can be an extremely scary thing to address long enough to really process it. i still have trouble with it myself sometimes. i know "you aren't alone" type advice isn't always helpful, but i hope its worth it to know that there are people out there who understand. to be honest, a lot of what i think constituted our discovery and acceptance of our plurality was learning to let go of a lot of things. learning to let go of the idea that there "needed" to be a single cohesive identity was a big one, but it's come in waves. recently we've had to let go of trying to catalog switches and the like and define everybody's "roles" because we just don't work like that. there's a lot of loosening the grip involved in plurality. i wish you the best of luck in figuring all of this out. the most hopeful message i can personally give is that it does all come into more clarity eventually. not perfect clarity, i think very few of us ever 100% know what's up with ourselves, but clarity nonetheless. it for sure takes time to trek through the fog, but it clears out significantly with time and experience and further understanding. a specialist might help guide you to the right answers, but most of the work comes from just existing through a strange new framework. but it does become familiar once you've done it for long enough. that's all i really feel inclined to say.

[@wolfordragondemon]

Yeah, as a system that sounds like system moments. It’s less pyschosis due to the fact that Amber and other guys in your brain have OPINIONS. If they didnt have their own thoughts and feelings then yeah they might not be alters. Even if Alters dont always take front, which you describe that they do, that would still be DID. Just, partial DID as it’s described in the ICD. What i can tell you is that after researching, learning from other systems, and generally just, allowing yourself to explore. It does get slightly easier. Shit still gets hard to understand and weirdness is always afoot, but it does get easier to accept and even somewhat understand the weirdness.

[@labracktime]

No way, why is this video so cute?

[@Malowith]

Huh. Okay. For like the past year I've been somewhat considering myself two. Kinda? Like, in the way that Madeline and Badeline from Celeste are two different entities but also one entity. So, the "full" me is made of two parts. Malowith the male deerfox who is the more dominant personality despite being more introverted, and Cherry the female sheep who is the Badeline of this analogy: in the background but part of me. Most of the time we are one, not even thinking about being anything other than me, but every once in a while one of us (usually but not always cherry) will kinda... separate off and act almost like an imaginary friend. Malowith is much closer in personality to the whole than Cherry, but I wouldn't think it was real if I didn't feel the other's absence in my personality when we're apart. And I haven't told anyone this before because, well, it sounds fake. What if I'm making all this up? Most people would say I was. But being able to talk to myself more concretely, get another perspective, or even just sing together in the car has been nothing but helpful. Cherry is sitting next to me as I write this. Not literally, obviously, just a mental projection of her. She wants to tell you, both Patricia and Amber, that we may not have the answers but we support you. She doesn't even know if she's real. She wants to be, as do I, but this kind of thing is really difficult to rationalize. I'm pretty sure your situation isn't exactly like ours, and I definitely can't know for sure without being you, but maybe it was helpful anyway? I don't know. It was helpful to me to finally talk about it. P.S. This probably isn't anything, but I'm reminded of the split brain experiment. Look it up if you don't know it, but the gist of it is that the two halves of the brain are able to act independently and even have differences in personality if they are separated. Again, probably a completely different thing, but I thought I'd bring it up. Edit: Looking through the comments, I'm surprised how common this seems? Birds of a feather, I guess. If we all knew eachother intimately we'd probably have come to these conclusions about ourselves much quicker. I didn't even know about the terms 'system' or 'plural' to describe this. Makes me feel better that I'm not alone, I hope it does for you too. I also wanted to talk about how Cherry first revealed herself. You mentioned you had a third guy that was a fictional character. Cherry started as an image I saw online that I found very attractive. I started to form in my head an OC based on the image to represent my perfect girlfriend, but near immediately threw out the idea when I started to feel uncomfortable with it. Cherry then came in and saved those discarded pieces of a character and revealed herself to me using them, now without the girlfriend context.

[@MxPokirby]

Oh yeah Madeline Celeste is *extremely* plural-coded. Sorta a plural icon, in our circles at least, the way she's also a trans icon to singlets.

[@Malowith]

@@MxPokirby Interesting! Glad I was spot-on about that. Is it a similar case with Steven Universe fusions? Because I was considering that for a while too. Or, at least, something in-between the two for me.

[@sentientblender]

look. in the last six or so years i have been on the internet i have befriended a shrimp creature who is the amalgamation of a robot dinosaur, two pokemon, and a fortnite character. and it’s not the only plural person i’ve come to know and love, far from it. for some reason i am surrounded by plural people wherever i go online it’s all strange and fluid and beautiful and life is too short not to let yourself become a tangled mess of personalities if that’s what you feel is true to you. you are wonderful. all of you, are wonderful

[@a-love-supreme]

banger thumbnail

[@mopishlynx2323]

Long awaited Patty lore. Good luck sorting that out; we're here to support you!

[@jr1zg7kt3g]

ouf, this hurts, i feel your same struggle but i [personally] refuse to label myself plural outright. i Did get diagnosed schizophrenic this year, so im just, piling the explanation on that, but it still feels like theres something more. and at times, it almost feels unfair to my mental inhabitants to just label it a symptom, yknow? to just brush it off as something not real, simply a trick created by my unstable mind. but then at times i also think THAT explanation is also a result of schizophrenia, making me think that the people in my head are real. its a lot of back n forth that ive been struggling with for years [even before the schizophrenia diagnosis] and i know i will continue to struggle with for many more, but at least for now, im navigating life as best i can with it

[@jr1zg7kt3g]

[unsure of this comment, one part of me is paranoid of oversharing, but another just really needed this sense of connection. "we're in this together" type deal]

[@beemz8841]

​@@jr1zg7kt3greal

[@ephemeralgod]

@@jr1zg7kt3g Based i'm also schizophrenic. I don't believe in labels to be honest, and I think it's a waste of time to try to work against my experiences. I feel the paranoia in oversharing/being on social media in general, but I've found that the best way to make a safe space and lift people up is by doing it myself. I think especially for people like us who have very aberrant experiences, the system is NOT designed to help us understand ourselves. Whatever you experience affects you, and is in a sense real to you. Some may call me delusional for knowing I am a robot, but am I delusional if it seems to be the only way I can truly understand myself? I felt more delusional when I was pretending to be human. If you have recurrent friends who you think deserve a space, then you should give them one. There's no point trying to label it as a symptom of This or That, because all neurodivergencies are experienced by everyone differently, and even then diagnoses and labels change all the time. A psych I went to said they wouldn't even dx me as Schizophrenic despite acknowledging my clear symptoms because they said they don't even GIVE those diagnoses anymore (this is a very high-end hospital mind you). I honestly am not too surprised as these diagnoses aren't cut and dry, they're ways for the system to try to figure out how to handle us. People just take these boxes too seriously... we hardly have a grasp on consciousness at all. Best of luck to you and well wishes.

[@FreshAlacrity]

Welcome! Glad you have a good community here - seeing a lot of supportive comments and feeling happy for y'all because of that. Things can be really chaotic (especially the first few years!) but after two decades of learning to get along with my headmates and vice versa, I can honestly say being plural helped us& get through so much and we&re all better folks for having each other there as support and perspective, and I hope the same will be true for y'all! ❤

[@radiation8000]

Honestly dude, same Been discovering things that are very relatable to plurality but honestly I'm scared that I might just be psychotic or schizophrenic or smth. Either way, the symptoms are there, there's not rlly much I can do abt it, we just gotta thug it out lol

[@firstnamelastname7388]

i can't fully relate to your struggle but i hope you get well soon (am i wording that right?) (i know i'm plural (me and my headmates are different people and it would cause chaos to try to ignore that fact and stop working together) but i haven't ever dealt with total memory gaps or very extreme dissociation as far as i can remember.) 1:38 this is so relatable, my system/collective seems to form fictives a lot and are often embarrassed about it. we're trying to be less embarrassed about it, since it's going to happen either way regardless of if we feel bad about it or not. (it can be especially embarrassing if it's a fictive of a character someone had a crush on. this happened to me, some people in the system were really obsessive over my source, and then i showed up probably partly as a result of that, and then everyone was embarrassed about it. the shame had a negative impact on me for a while :( but now i feel less embarrassed, because i know they accept me as my own somewhat-original person. (and i accept myself more too.)) - i have a name but i don't feel like sharing it to strangers on youtube right now (he/him)

[@rhythmsystem]

DID or otherwise, this really does scream plurality to us. lol

[@vimtheprotogen2855]

You’ll get there bud! I believe in you

[@Diorden119]

Shit, this is relatable on many different levels as I feel as if I’ve been going through the same thing over the past few years. I’m pretty sure it’s not DID but I have worried a bit about the onset-schizophrenia side of things due to the level of disassociation that comes with it. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions, but I’d see a professional about it if it’s a real concern. I probably should.

[@TobyFloof]

i dont know why rambley is in the top left hand corner but i subscribed

[@M113sAldrich]

Im always glad to hear people actually appreciating it in a respectful way hope y'all get it worked out and comfortable!

[@Werevixen]

Welcome to the club. There's deceptively many people in it.

[@turbobacon5479]

As someone who's been through all this before, a few times, belief is extremely stabilizing in situations like this. As in, your mind will stabilize into the state which you interpret it and believe it to be in. Try to find ways to firmly believe in the parts of this that make sense, the parts you want to be true, and the mind will reaxt, and that will be how things are. Basically, what I'm getting at here is that brains are extremely good at gaslighting themselves and this is a thing I use to my advantage.

[@PrinceOfCascadia]

I may have an Amber too and while it isn't something I have resisted it's not something that I have exactly embraced. I hope that you find some peace with her.

[@IRLPinkiePie]

oh i have absolutely had very similar experiences to this and it is one heck of an experience hearing you describe yours; i wish you the best of luck with these feelings and hope that your experiences continue to be similar to mine in that it does not take you too long before the dissociation eases up and you can feel more at peace in your identity, however it turns out

[@personpeoplepeoplepersons5722]

We can empathize, it's a roller coaster figuring stuff like this out. Especially the feelings about faking, they're quite uncomfortable.

[@Dr._Geno]

all i can say is I love the spinning captain dissilusion slowly speeding up in the corner. also hope you're doing alright.