Am I WRONG for feeling SCHADENFREUDE towards the narcissist?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@edwong4178]

My schadenfreude is knowing they have to live in their heads for the rest of their lives and I don’t.

[@TheDarkPlace00]

The best revenge is living well and leaving the drama behind

[@PenninkJacob]

For the people who "don't get it"... What are the gifts of life? Childhood, friends, family, relationships, Parenthood, stability, fun, safety, security, and love. These are the very things narcissists steal and destroy, and for what??? They STILL never "feel better", and always "need more" and more... Narcissists are truly almost literally like a black hole. Anything you do, any effort in any direction only helps them be more cruel, destructive, mean, and hurtful. Thank you so much! 👍❤❤❤

[@pathfinder6993]

That's another reason you have to go no contact, the less you know about them the better.

[@lillianbarker4292]

The opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference.

[@daniel-alan]

As a native German, I wanted to add on the subject of Schadenfreude that Schadenfreude is a rather one-dimensional feeling, e.g. someone falls down and I laugh. That is schadenfreude. The joy over someone else's loss or damage. I think a high percentage of slapstick in sitcoms are full of it. Something more extensive is the German "Genugtuung" (a sense of compensatory justice). This feeling has the dimension of a fulfilled feeling of revenge more. I can have schadenfreude without thoughts of revenge, even towards strangers.

[@Snowflake-id4fw]

When the narcs in my life have become gravely ill I felt nothing. No guilt - nothing. But when they have overplayed their hand and landed hard on their ass - schadenfreude!

[@mariehughey5390]

I’ve never been one to seek vengeance, but when karma/consequences shows up it is sweet.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I used to feel so bad for the narcissists when they had difficulties, and would do what I could to help. Now, it’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I don’t have the energy nor desire to try to help only to be emotionally abused by them. It’s sad but I matter too. I do struggle with feeling guilty, but I just can’t and won’t take it on anymore. The worst is the enablers saying I’m being unforgiving or mean because I keep boundaries. So tired of it all 😢 I do maybe feel a sense of justice when things go wrong for them, but not really. I think exhaustion has made me feel more neutral or indifferent, or disengaged for self preservation. Lots of grief to process for sure. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

[@diannerenn4726]

Narcissists often have difficult elder years. Looks and money may be gone. They have caused so much hurt, everyone abandons them. This happened to my ex. He died alone with severed ties to kids and basically everyone. We did not have kids in common, but he was left to.the care of strangers mostly. It was the finale he created.

[@b8akaratn]

I heard he was diagnosed with a type of cancer last year, after the No Contact went into effect. I concluded I am not required to feel bad for my rapist and shrugged it off. No idea how/what stage he is in, nor is it my responsibility to care

[@shannonporter9821]

It never teaches them a lesson or changes their evil behaviour though.

[@twovirginiacats3753]

After a while, observing the Narc is just sad. They seem to be caught in an endless cycle of drama and screwing up. We all mess up, but they seem to be stuck in that negative vortex.

[@User_8847]

I used to but I’m happy to say my indifference outweighs those emotions anymore.

[@thompsonlauren1004]

Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@

[@karifoto]

As the amount of narcissistic abuse increases, the guilt of schadenfreude decreases.

[@nikkinorton8310]

My ex died...and it was a Very complicated grief. And the difficult part with me was... people expected me to be happy about it...so no support for his death. Just grief that I had to deal with myself.

[@CorridorOfMirrorsRemixes]

I actually would argue it's completely okay to feel schadenfreude towards the narcissist.

[@jupiterjazz692]

I did feel it in the beginning when I saw karma coming back for him. But eventually I landed on feeling completely detached and disassociated. I think sometimes when someone pulls every extreme emotion out of you, and when nothing surprises you with them anymore, you eventually burnout and become very apathetic towards them.

[@rexxer2792]

"Reaping what has been sowed"