Am I Wrong for Questioning Our Marriage? (She Made Me Sign a Prenup)

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[@katiejon17]

Not surprised this is a California couple. My husband is a teacher and in 2024, after 11 years of teaching, he makes a high of $57k/gross. I had been an RN, and back in 2008, in my first year as a nurse I crested $70k/year. No keep in mind I worked nights, weekends, holidays, and overtime - and my husband has no nights, no weekends, no holidays, no overtime, two and a half months off in the summer, and three weeks of vacation during the school year. But I never considered my higher pay as “my” money, was “our” money. It was also my home that he moved into - but when we sold it to buy one together, the profits went to paying off “our” student loan debt. We’ve been together 9 years now, have two small children, and he was very supportive of me leaving my career to stay home... where his income remains “our money”. Why do people marry someone who cannot become a team?!

[@DesignedByTaz]

Love this ❤

[@peterj.giannini7276]

A couple can be a team without commingling their personal assets acquired prior to marriage.

[@BeyondmyselfIsrael]

@@peterj.giannini7276Amos 3:3

[@shells500tutubo]

I've got news for you. This happens in all fifty states, and not more often in California.

[@katiejon17]

@@peterj.giannini7276 sure - a “couple” can. A MARRIED couple cannot though. And if you get married, and don’t want to “commingle” then you aren’t someone fit for marriage. Just stay boyfriend-girlfriend.

[@markg999]

These are conversations you have before marriage. Most people put more thought into lunch than huge life decisions.

[@todd2324]

Facts! It's such a major life decision, but people go about it so casually.

[@9liveslisa]

I don't blame her for the prenup, but I also don't understand why she got married.

[@KathleenMcNe]

I agree. Bad decision on her part.

[@amamadarkly]

probably loneliness and the initial high of the relationship clouding her judgement. Bet she has a smart father/uncle/someone who advised her on the prenup.

[@gloriaalex11]

So she could do all the wedding stuff and just be able to say she got married. Because even though she has a good profession and financially successful position, her friends, parents, etc would look down on her for staying single. It's really stupid, but it's a thing. Society acts like there's something "wrong" with people who don't marry. Especially women. I'm sure people are asking her when she's going to start having babies.

[@9liveslisa]

@@gloriaalex11 Yes. We have all been told we need to live the fairy tale.

[@paidinfull7886]

I will never be anti pre-nup. People are too fickle & definitely count your pockets. If this was that big of a deal he should have never signed it & never married her. If you are with someone who is a high earner, has some sort of inheritance, property, or is financially stable, you should always anticipate that they will ask you to sign a pre-nup.

[@KathleenMcNe]

I am pro-prenup. I would not marry without one. If my fiance wouldn't sign a prenup, I would know that we have vastly different views on finances and estate planning and that we should not marry.

[@gloriaalex11]

​@@KathleenMcNe Absolutely. I view marriage as a business decision before the other considerations.

[@KathleenMcNe]

@@gloriaalex11 I agree with you. After all, marriage is a contract. To pretend otherwise is foolish.

[@TowKneeChee]

You will never be anti prenup…. Unless it’s a guy right? In that that it would be “uNRoManTic” for him to have one

[@lindawilson4625]

She is protecting herself, but I do wonder why she bothered to marry the guy.

[@semosancus5506]

Girl boss stuff

[@JGSH13]

Because women think they want a door mat, but they get tired of it and lose respect for them real quick.

[@Nintendogamer757]

If it’s her house, he shouldn’t be paying any part of the mortgage

[@reese85]

Why? Why shouldn’t he have to pay no living expenses? You guys are weird and a lot of yall sound like deadbeats

[@georgeide2337]

@reese85 That's not what they or anyone said. You would have to be challenged, without the ability to read probably, if you thought so. He can still pay living expenses like food, electricity, etc., but if he is paying on the mortgage, he should be part owner of the house, no question.

[@JH-rk9gd]

@@reese85you stupid

[@reese85]

@@georgeide2337 lol did you or anyone else listen to the vid? He said he pays 1,700 a month for living expenses, and everyone is upset about that, saying he shouldn’t have to pay mortgage/living expenses depending on the comment. So can anyone of yall properly hear and why should he be on the mortgage if she had the house going into the marriage, regardless if he pays mortgage or not but that’s prob why he’s paying LIVING EXPENSES AND NOT THE MORTGAGE

[@reese85]

@@georgeide2337 the freaking comment literally says “ if it’s her house, he shouldn’t be paying any part of the mortgage” when the letter said he pays 1,700 a month in living expenses and $500 for medical lol. Swear yall are crazy

[@luminous6969]

Funny how women say that prenups are gross and unromantic but then are first in line to get one when it's THEIR house and money on the line 😅

[@GAFB1122]

Funny how men side with other men, but when a woman wants a prenuptial, they criticize her.

[@janelleg597]

Welcome to humanity. Hypocrisy is default

[@Jmack1lla]

Woman moment

[@theocratickingdom30]

If they have kids, that prenup goes in the garbage.

[@Odin31b]

Exactly true!

[@HoneyHoops-ig9ws]

He could be saving for his house but she’s using him to pay her mortgage and he has no return on it if they divorce.

[@gooserich3970]

Exactly

[@reese85]

Being which there married. Won’t the house be both of there’s? But why do yall think it’s ok for him to live with her and pay no living expenses? Like you guys do realize he agreed to these terms

[@outsidethebox262]

He said expenses... not mortgage. 1.7k expenses for 1 person is fair. If she's making him pay rent then he should bolt

[@derekd1510]

@@reese85 "Don’t they house be both of there’s?" Are you for real or are you trolling?

[@reese85]

@@derekd1510 it was supposed to say “won’t the house be both of there’s” and why would you think I’m trolling for asking that? You think if he goes out and buy a house, she wouldn’t want her name on it being which it’s coming after them being married, not only that. Won’t kind of house you’ll think he’ll be able to get on just an 80k salary? Like come on ppl

[@HB-fj3ii]

I don't think she thinks she's better than him. She's just protecting her assets. It sounds like she's paying the mortgage and he's contributing $1700 per month towards general living expenses (utilities, groceries, etc.) That's fair.

[@athan4752]

The major red flag is “She’s not willing to give up her house to make me feel better about myself.”

[@lr9010]

He shouldn’t ask her to give up her house to feel better. He should be saving money and his contribution to their living expenses should be calculated evenly based on his pay just like hers should be. If she makes more she should pay for more. It can be done fairly but they need to figure it out. They can pay an equal % to income for living expenses. She would still pay more. It’s no different than him renting.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Yup. Powerful thing to say. Live and learn.

[@demar1496]

Was it her house when they started dating? Did he bring up that he wanted a smaller house before they wed? Or is he trying to force her to live more modestly than she has, before they met, because he thinks he has more leverage now, and has a fragile ego? Ages? Kids? Too many variables to immediately assume she's the red flag, when he could be the one fixated on the money.

[@trainsandlocomotives]

As much as houses costs these days, I wouldn’t want to give that up ether. She probably put in a lot of work and saved overtime to buy it and doesn’t want to have to do all of that over again if they divorce. She probably has a low interest rate and a decent payment.

[@57_Triumph]

3 years into a marriage is about 4 years too late to start having these conversations. BTW, she did not “make” him sign anything. He voluntarily signed. Think this guy is getting his ducks in line after 3 years to pursue a divorce, and one of his angles is that he didn’t understand the prenup and was “forced” to sign it. He wants to get half the house in the divorce.

[@katiejon17]

If the women can do it, so should the man. And BTW, I’m a woman who was making more money and owned the house when my husband and I got together. These men marrying women who cannot be a team are just as bad.

[@JH-rk9gd]

Don’t work that way

[@TRC19999]

It’s not about being better, she has more to lose than he does. She’s just being safe. She’s the breadwinner.

[@irishchocolate3872]

Then if she is so concerned about her finances, she should have married someone she considered more successful. It looks like her finances are her idol.

[@FrankS111]

I’d bet dollars to donuts that if the roles were reversed you’d be calling the husband a selfish narcissist. Get out of here with your BS double standards

[@HSQadri]

If your going to go down this path of yours and mine, post marriage, than it is neither fair nor reasonable to ask him to pay into a house and its expenses he has no absolutely no right to equity in, should they seperate down the line either.

[@GAFB1122]

@@irishchocolate3872 No argument BUT make sure you say the same thing to a man who has money and marries a woman without money. ALL I WANT FROM PEOPLE is to apply your opinions and positions equally and objectively without bias and hatred because you had a bad experience!!

[@GAFB1122]

@@FrankS111 Let me tell you about me. I apply my opinions without bias toward gender. I will NOT allow a bad experience with a woman (or man) affect the way I see ALL women or men. Can you say that?

[@milanmirkovic1390]

If she retains full ownership, you should not pay living expenses and save your money. It's a win, win

[@reese85]

So he should be paying any living expenses, really?

[@WindyWalk]

@@reese85 You're right, men never let women live at their houses for free when they're the breadwinners.

[@hestiaa9354]

@@reese85He should not be living rent free. Utilities? He should be paying all or part. Food? All or part. But, mortgage payment? If the house is not paid in full? That’s on her.

[@reese85]

@@hestiaa9354 if the house is paid in full, I agree. But idk why ppl are saying he shouldn’t contribute

[@HOLDXSTEEL]

@@reese85he does contribute…

[@GAFB1122]

I am good with prenups to protect what you came in with and that is not specific to either gender. Unlike most on here, I proudly apply my opinions evenly across the board without bias toward gender!!! I will never allow a bad experience to bias my opinions on an entire group of people. I judge people based on their individual character.

[@jaywagner2321]

Dave is also the first to say (almost always to men) “don’t get married if you love your money more than them”, when the bigger problem is when the poorer person loves their partner’s money more than their partner.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

And the government,family courts,attorneys,landlords,therapists,etc. love your money more than you once that marriage contract is signed.

[@caroldorsett8170]

My husband own the home when we got married and kept full ownership. So I bought a house and property in the country. He wanted half ownership. I said no way until his house is in my name too then I would agree. WTF

[@j.j2846]

The audacity 😮

[@starwalk3r]

This is not what marriage is supposed to be. Why even get married if these situations exist?

[@whosaidthat9265]

He would default have some ownership because you purchased it while married. You and he, regardless of who is on the deed, are tenants in common at a minimum and tenants in entirety at worst. It depends on the state. Property and assets prior to marriage do not fall under that same umbrella

[@girlygirl1890]

@caroldorsett you are a smart woman. I agree with what you said.

[@starrystarrynight6281]

If he didn’t like the pre-nup he should have walked away immediately.

[@petepeterson5337]

There is ALWAYS a prenup. Many people go with the government prenup while others create their own. If things go wrong and there is a parting of ways (happens about half the time), one side will often petition the government (courts) to overturn the private prenup.

[@GAFB1122]

I APPLAUD you for using the terms, people and one side and NOT saying that only women OR only men as many do on here. Human beings can be good and evil AND I do not put anything passed a human being. But that is ALL humans and NOT just men or women!!

[@navado75]

Women call it marrying down. Yet when men do it, it's just getting married 🙄

[@XPuregaming15]

Lmaoooo facts.

[@pld-wc7gf]

If men can marry at their own level do.

[@bretak74]

Yes. A man should never marry a woman that has higher social/financial status than him. She would most likely resent him for it. If it's the other way around, she feels like she got a prize.

[@lr9010]

He didn’t have to marry her. He obviously knew there was a prenup. No different than a woman marrying a man with one. You don’t have to marry anyone. It’s all a choice.

[@cj90014]

Frankly, SHE should be questioning the marriage. She clearly called it correctly. If you are in for the long term, your earning less has ZERO to do with anything. But the guy has issues and is little too concerned about $$. In my experience, women are much better with money than men, in the early years (20-30s). This guy, proves that point.

[@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem]

its not that, women look for providers and a woman that makes significantly more than a man will never respect him. she is independent and doesnt need him, so therefore doesn't respect him. women rarely date/marry below their economic standing. men date below their attractiveness and economic levels, women date higher on both of those. im not saying these things are wrong, thats just the nature of the man and woman relationship dynamic. historically women have been vulnerable, especially while pregnant and you want someone that can provide safety and an abundance of firewood and food, you want to marry the Viking king not the guy shoveling the poop from the horse stalls (or whatever low end job)

[@mleobviously]

@@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem youre definitely a dude

[@grecojones]

I’m not sure you’re interpreting the situation. He wants to reduce the amount of money he’s having to contribute to the house. It’s actually leaning toward him being responsible. We don’t have enough information to know for sure one way or another.

[@noelrutherford6321]

Bad analysis. She had him sign a prenuptial to protect her assets that she acquired before the marriage. That's all. He didn't say that he was paying the mortgage- just contributing to the household expenses. If he wants to talk to her about that, he should but to ask her to sell her home because "he's not building equity" is pretty lame. He can invest probably $2000 a month in investments if he wants to based on his salary and the amount he's contributing to the household.

[@SpaghettiNoob]

Or he's too afraid to give the specifics in case she ever sees this. But he's most likely paying rent. I know it's California, but living expenses don't cost that much. If rent is not included. He's paying the mortgage.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

It's not about the house. It's about how she answered.

[@PepeToTheMooon]

Why is he even marrying her if he had to sign it? If he loves her, sign it and forget about it. If not, don’t get married.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

The simp was probably strong with this one.

[@trainsandlocomotives]

I’ve seen men in my past jobs get wrecked from divorce. House gone and living in an apartment.

[@betsyavallone4314]

If I were him, I would tell her it is her house, she pays the bills. And he should also have separate accounts of his own.

[@reese85]

I’m sure she has way more money in her account than he has, so that would only hurt him and why should he not pay any bills, just because it’s her house?

[@Clogreen14]

@@reese85she’s the building equity while he is basically paying rent. Utilities okay since they both use it but property tax, insurance, mortgage is on the owner since they are building equity or gaining value in the housing market. No one would feel the happiest when they are essentially paying rent to their spouse

[@reese85]

@@Clogreen14 the callers or letter says he’s paying 1,700 a month for living expenses. We don’t kno what those expenses are but the comment we’re under said he shouldn’t be paying ANYTHING and that’s crazy.

[@suzanwright83]

He pays $1700 per month (room and board) in Cali. Not a bad deal and I assume he uses more than 1 room in this house. If he finds better in their neighborhood good luck. Smart woman regarding prenup. If he wants to "feel better" about this situation he needs to make more money or find a good psychologist or a new partner.

[@shawnmendrek3544]

"SHE MADE ME" it's over. hit the gym, grow a sack. He got door matted. Pick better women learn to assert.

[@denisefinney8459]

It sounds like she can maintain the home and lifestyle without his financial contribution and has no need or desire to downsize. That conversation should have been had (and a decision made on his part) before the marriage. If she really said to him that she would not sell her house to make him feel better about himself, there is nothing else to question. She gave him the answer he is seeking.

[@n.w.414]

First of all, she couldn’t force him to sign a prenup, he agreed to signing it. Does she proportionately pay bills and such too? She makes at least twice as much as him, does she pay 66% of the bills and him 33%? This is a bit of a mess.

[@MC-dr4vp]

He’s upset he’s not building equity when he didn’t put anything into paying for the house. He’s paying less than he would in rent. And why are you paying for healthcare when you’re a teacher? He sounds like a whiner.

[@penelope5500]

Sounds to me like this guy is getting ready to bail...& maybe he needs to, I wouldn't know, but he may be in for a bit of a surprise when he finds out how far his $1,700 goes toward rent or mortgage payment on another house.

[@michaelh2282]

I lived in Southern California 5 years ago. He's delusional if he thinks he can pack his bags and find a comparable living arrangement with only $1,700/month in CA.

[@danieljohnson4418]

She is presently better than him . . . at earning money.

[@Playingwithproxies]

Yeah and she thinks that makes her better period 😅

[@stephenshelton4267]

Marriage sounds like fun.

[@GenXQeeenB]

It’s a blast 😂😂

[@YourRichAuntie]

I'm a Wealth Manager by profession - and she is a smart woman. Very smart woman. As a client, I would have advised her to get a prenup and carve out the assets that were hers before marriage. If the husband wants to have a home, maybe they can purchase a home together and make it a joint marital asset, but in NO WAY would I advise her to sell her home and buy something in joint with her husband. Despite contributing about 30% of the household income, you can bet he'd want HALF of everything in a divorce including assets that we hers and hers alone before the marriage. This idea of "let's join everything" is just antiquated and couples need to decide for themselves what they want to bring together and what they want to keep separate

[@jeromehenry4484]

As a Wealth Advisor, you should be advising your single clients with assets to set up a Trust because it cannot be challenged in a divorce, but a Pre-Nuptial Agreement can be challenged & overturned. Also, this husband should ask his wife to sign a Post-Nuptial Agreement so he can build assets separate from her that she will not challenge in divorce court.

[@YourRichAuntie]

@@jeromehenry4484 Trusts are expensive, time-consuming, and overly complicated and can be challenged if they're not structured or funded properly. They're also super expensive to create and fund. Unless you have tens of millions, I wouldn't suggest going that route and a properly designed prenuptial agreement is the better option. Most reasons why prenups fail surround failure to disclose all assets - disclose all your assets and get a good lawyer and you'll be fine

[@girlygirl1890]

@@webfreakz Bless your poor little soul.

[@webfreakz]

@@girlygirl1890 it's deleted

[@GAFB1122]

There is a term that religious people often use when it comes to faith and marriage and that is "equally yoked". It means when both people don't have similar faith, the marriage has less of a chance of success over the long term. BUT that term can and should be applied to many aspects of life and marriage. When one person in a marriage is on a much higher-level regarding income, education, intelligence, attractiveness, etc. I think the marriage also has a lower likelihood of success over the long term!! Both people in a marriage should be "equally yoked" in all aspects!! If you are in one of these UNequally yoked marriages and it works, great for you. No need to comment. Note, I said lower likelihood of success. I never said it was impossible.

[@trainsandlocomotives]

Can’t blame her. Now’s not the time to lose a home in a divorce, especially if you have a low interest rate and payment. Probably lower than rent.

[@user-wl1zg7hm8j]

Jade got this wrong… wife doesnt think she is better than him.. she is telling him it is not he job to make him feel better about the fact he earns less.. he wants her to sell her paid expensive house so he can build equity ???!! He invests his money and he will build equity!!

[@CurieBohr]

Sign it. Hide money on the side. If it crashes, you cash it

[@rukiaiceprincess6369]

I totally don’t agree with she thinks she’s better. She’s smarter. Smarter than Rachel Lindsay. This is a conversation they should have had BEFORE they got married. That’s the problem with people today. No vetting! Ask the big HARD questions right out the gate. 🤦‍♀️

[@tywebbgolfenthusiast8950]

Anyone else wonder about the authenticity of the letters they read on the air, I.e., not a caller?

[@asthacrafting001]

You definitely have my sub. This content is next level. For me Unimantic was the turning point. Please keep doing what you do and keep being you, love it

[@coolaunt516]

So he pays about 2200.00 a month for insurance and living expenses. He brings home a lot more than that--so take the rest and invest it in a nice Roth IRA. There is more than one way to invest money and make a profit.

[@aolvaar8792]

The IRA is not protected, It was filled with "marital" money.

[@jonathanarroyo7430]

He said “Asylum Officers”… but Let’s Go Brandon! 😂

[@Chet_24]

Heres what he should do: Divorce her immediately, work on himself for a couple of years (physically and financially), and then go find a younger, prettier woman. Living well is the best revenge.

[@shells500tutubo]

You know she can also find a younger, wealthier and more handsome man, right? That is not the gotcha you think it is.

[@starwalk3r]

@@shells500tutubo No, she can't. But he most definitely can. Women age like milk. Men age like fine wine.

[@mleobviously]

⁠@@starwalk3r statistically, 90% of men are not attractive to women to begin with, much less age as they age. The average man over 30 is overweight and balding. This doesn’t mean they don’t have qualities that women like, but the “fine wine” comment is just laughable.

[@t.b.5553]

I guess he can buy himself a rental property. I don’t think she’ll let up.

[@carolr7823]

I strongly believe in prenups if one of the spouses has a lot more money than the other spouse.

[@KathleenMcNe]

Jade jumped to the (perhaps false) conclusion that the wife thinks she's better than the husband when the wife is simply trying to protect her pre-marital assets should there be a divorce. I would not marry without a prenup being in place. If my fiance didn't want to sign one, that would demonstrate that we have differing views on finances and estate planning and should not marry.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

Nothing wrong with a prenup. This is not the problem. The problem is how she answered.

[@todd2324]

Prenuptial agreements are silly. If you're that attached to your money and worried about losing it, don't marry someone who has significantly less money than you.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

@@todd2324 Hulk Hogan, Dr. Dre. And countless others. No one goes into marriage thinking that they will get divorce.

[@todd2324]

@jimmymcgill6778 Yes, but regardless, the people you named should only marry people of a similar net worth if they are that concerned with losing their money. Also, most of the time, just like this couple, premarital counseling wasn't even considered.

[@Playingwithproxies]

@@todd2324you could still want to get a prenup if you both have a significant amount of assets. Just don’t make a prenup that both people aren’t getting something they want from.

[@todd2324]

@Playingwithproxies Fair point. In terms of this case, with the teacher/pharmacist, it sounds like they just rushed into the marriage without any premarital counseling or hard conversations beforehand. Had they done that, they likely would not be having these issues.

[@robertthompson5908]

Forget about the financial aspect - Jade hit the nail on the head. She thinks she’s better than him. That’s a problem. I predict this marriage won’t last.

[@demar1496]

Or - He THINKS that she thinks she's better, but she really doesn't. Could all be in his head,... which I tend to think when he proposes that she sell her house (that she assumedly had when they were dating) because her wealth emasculates him somehow, now that they're married.

[@robertthompson5908]

@@demar1496 Yes you could be right. Really you have to hear what both of them have to say before you know what’s going on.

[@lyndalamb3221]

He says he's not building equity-use the money he would use to pay a mortgage for investments.

[@prwashin1]

The house is valued at $900k but he’s paying $1700/month in household expenses. She’s using him to subsidize her standard of living. Best way to find out would be to stop contributing house or her related expenses then see how long the marriage lasts.

[@carolr7823]

She owns the house outright from what I gather.

[@BigPictureYT]

This is a perfect example of Feminism gone wrong. If a high earning husband tried to use his wife's income to pay joint living expenses but excluded her from any increases in equity after getting married, the Internet would be screaming bloody murder. If they want to save their marriage and she does not want to move, they could amend the prenup, specify the equity in the house that is solely hers, combine their finances, and share the future increases in equity.

[@pld-wc7gf]

He probably hasn't read up on marital law. Now that they are married, it's likely that all their income is considered community income and if she's paying for the home using community income, he likely will be able to claim equity in the home. Signed, a Feminist.

[@BigPictureYT]

You are right that most states view all income after marriage as community property. An amended prenup could establish the exact amount of her equity before the marriage, so a court could fairly divide the community property if they divorce. ​ Given that she "won't sell her house to make me feel better about myself" it is obvious that she thinks she "settled." Too bad for both of them.

[@shells500tutubo]

@@BigPictureYT She doesn't think she settled, but he is delusional if he thinks she should lower her standard of living to live on his income. If the situation were reversed I can just imagine the hate the commenters would have for the crazy lower income woman, and would be telling her to be grateful for the increased standard of living.

[@BigPictureYT]

I feel that the pharmacist does not respect the teacher. Jade agrees with me; she said, "She thinks that she's better than him." And, "They need to get into counseling immediately." Where in the world did you get the idea that he wants her to live on his income? Please watch the clip again. He is contributing $1,700 to household expenses BUT he is not getting any equity. How is that fair? And how does her tone make you feel? How would you like it if your spouse responded to your request for an opportunity to build wealth with, "No, I'm not going to do that just to make you feel better about yourself." Reading between the lines, I get the vibe that she thinks he feels bad about himself and it is not her concern. If he was her first choice, she would be much more responsive and accommodating, wouldn't she?

[@genxx2724]

She should have married someone on her level.

[@peterj.giannini7276]

Smart woman.

[@user-es5jq6yy9l]

Maybe he married because he wants the house

[@debbieholoquist2059]

I agree he should be questioning the marriage. It's understandable that he wants to live in a home where he has ownership. As it is now, it's more like he's just living in her house. They should have moved into a different home where they had equal ownership (if she respects him) right at the beginning of their marriage.

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Wife is his landlord.

[@wjun0131]

Don't see what the problem is, doesn't sound like he is contributing to the mortgage either

[@michaelh2282]

The wife's condescending remark aside (she definitely looks down on him), the house arrangement sounds reasonable. Property tax and insurance in California are roughly 2% of the total value of property. On a $900,000 house, that comes out to $18,000/yr, or $1,500/month. And that doesn't include the mortgage, upkeep costs, and utilities. The husband is getting a decent deal.

[@Trackpad12]

Divorce her when she is in her mid 40s and find a younger woman. Use her money to stay in good shape and take care of yourself.

[@PinkieJoJo]

I would say do that but he should highly consider this marriage. This is the type of relationship my mother was in. He made tons and she made very little but he ran her wallet dry while he saved. After several years he found a new woman and gave her 6 days to get out as he was changing the locks. Then he tried to keep all of her stuff she bought for the house. Furniture. Appliances. Etc. Unfortunately she had to let him have the appliances because she had nowhere to put them. She left with about 50.00 and had to start new.

[@pld-wc7gf]

He doesn't make younger woman money.

[@Playingwithproxies]

@@pld-wc7gfoutside of California he does

[@romenitty1]

Leave and if being a part doesn’t make her realize that you guys have to work together don’t go back. Find yourself a woman that’s more beautiful inside and out who knows how to cooperate and build together.

[@stygiangs]

Wrong. The wife is telling him not to concern himself with the house, that it's neither his asset nor liability. Don't worry about it. He wants to live a worse life because he makes too little relative to her. Relax dude. It seems like maybe you (or you both) were thinking about divorce soon.

[@79obrien]

I know some people use marriage to screw people out of money often but I can't imagine being in a marriage without sharing finances. My wife and I have shared finances since before we married. Your spouse needs to be your partner in crime, a person you have complete trust in.

[@TenSish]

The solution is he should not be contributing to her mortgage at all.

[@jeffkline9191]

What she is telling him is he is not enough and needs to step up his income game. If she is right then he needs to make a move and if he’s smart she won’t be part of that move.

[@jaybah836]

Good job Jade good call

[@NeoAndersonReloaded]

Marriage is a business. Learn the game or ur feeling will get hurt. This isn’t the 1700 hundreds anymore. Try to find ur equal so both have value and the same at risk.

[@marcenelj]

This sounds like a business transaction

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Money is everything. Always a reminder of this with every video.

[@BREEZYM6015]

The marriage will be over before this video ends. 😂

[@girlygirl1890]

lol!

[@ronvessells1356]

We as men don't care about how much money or assets a woman has. We care about her and how she treats us. So I know it is not about her house. It is about how she treats you and views you in this marriage. You have every right to be concerned about your financial future. If you are picking up on bad vibes from her. Woman initialize divorce at a higher rate then men do. Make sure you are covering your fair share of the living expenses and she is as well. Learn the laws in your state concerning asset division in divorce. Then make a plan to build your net worth in a way that is protected in case she decides to divorce you. You don't want to spend every dime you make on things she is going to keep in a divorce. If you love her and want to work things out. Talk to her about your concerns and how, what she says and does makes you feel. There can be some way for you both to compromise and make your marriage better. You can understand why she feels the need to protect her house and that it may have nothing to do about you personally. She needs to feel safe and I believe you would want that for her. As a man you need to feel respected and appreciated in the marriage. It comes down to this one question. Will you be happier with her or without her? That being said. It takes two to make any relationship work.

[@girlygirl1890]

@ronvessells1356 Very very very well said. I don't think anyone else could have said it better. Only thing is...when you say "It takes two to make any relationship work," I would have thrown a little bit of "Jesus" in the equation, and said "It takes 3 to make any relationship work. Today's world...yes, marriages need PRAYER as well. But yeah, your full comment needs to be posted on everyone's refridgerator (lol) for good measure. Loved it! Blessings to you my friend...Blessings. and thank you for your comment.

[@djpuplex]

Rules for thee and not for me. Women don't share their gold.

[@GAFB1122]

Of course, you'd be here and of course you'd have that opinion. You'd disappoint me if you had any other opinion, lol

[@djpuplex]

@@GAFB1122 My opinions are based on facts. I always add supportive statistics when I can. You people who get upset just need to agree and face the facts. Men everywhere have gotten wise to the 🐂💩.

[@GAFB1122]

@@djpuplex No way, I do not believe you for a second. You clearly have been hurt, wronged and now you apply all your opinions from that framework. As difficult as it is, if I were to find 100 reasonable people and they read your comments, they would all say the same thing. You take your bad experience, and you apply that to entire groups of people. YOU NEED MENTAL HELP!! You shame your mother! And God help your daughter if you have one or ever have one!!

[@djpuplex]

@@GAFB1122 Doesn't change female nature again I always add statistics to support my points. We can agree to disagree. BTW shame and guilt doesn't work on me either. Have a great day.

[@GAFB1122]

@@djpuplex Clearly it doesn't work. So I say God help any women in your life because you think the worst of them for no reason other than they are women. I pray you do not have a daughter and never have a daughter. You would make a poor father to a daughter! I will copy and paste your comments to show others so they can see that your kind exist. Shameful!

[@jaywagner2321]

“I’m cutting you off!!!!!!” When a man says this, we know what he’s depriving a woman of. When a woman says this, we know what she’s depriving a man of. We need to cease this idiocy of behaving as though men only care about money and women only care about the relationship despite all documented and obvious evidence to the contrary.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

A man will never say I'm cutting you off. We will not make it pas a day or 2.

[@jaywagner2321]

@@jimmymcgill6778 he can before they are married, after she can summon the state. But everyone knows what the phrase means based on who says it

[@jimmymcgill6778]

@@jaywagner2321 It have nothing to do with the state.

[@jaywagner2321]

Yeah, state has nothing to do with it. Sure.

[@TommyRibs]

I am shocked that she married a man making substantially less than her. He has two choices, either ride it out, or leave. I personally would leave. He will never have any joy in that marriage.

[@mleobviously]

How is that shocking? If a single woman is making $200k, then most single men are making substantially less than her, and if she wants to marry at all, the man’s financial support is much less important than shared values (religion, politics, education, intellect, humor, personality etc.)

[@TommyRibs]

@@mleobviously Nice shocking because women as a statistical group do not marry men who make substantially less then they do. The numbers bear that out. It also is clearly an issue in this marriage. From what is described here, by this husband, money is more important then the things that you mentioned. This marriage doesn’t look promising.

[@IrishMexican]

Californian here. I’m not surprised this writer is from California. I’ve heard much much worse unfortunately. The money = value thing is a bit too overboard over here.

[@m.alnisamcconico8689]

Marriage is marriage, or marriage is a business? Something else is happening and he not saying.

[@Its-still-anna-alex]

Question: is this why the woman made you sign the prenup?

[@jimmymcgill6778]

Her cat must be good.

[@koolpapabell1]

Never said the word LOVE

[@silksatinsilver1]

I thought Dave recommends prenups when there’s a huge income difference between fiancé’s, namely to deter a family member of the lower income fiancé from constantly knocking on their door for handouts. However, as that spouse invests time, energy, love & money into the marriage, the prenup could be amended, correct?

[@cuddy4164]

Nobody "made him" sign anything. She's allowed to protect the assets she brought in. He's paying "household expenses", not mortgage, so why is he whinging about equity. If he wants to create wealth, he should use the money that he is not currently spending on mortgage elsewhere, not asking her to sell a premarital asset. Stop being dumb.

[@outsidethebox262]

You know what is interesting? It's a win2 imo. Let her pay 100k per year on her house, and let both chip in 2k for expenses. If she say it's not fair, then ask her to move to a 600k house and you chip into the mortgage.

[@MrPeach1]

These comments are wild. The state of marriage in this country is that everyone assumes divorce. Pretty crazy.

[@williambrownjr2346]

I didn't know a $900,000 thousand dollar house existed in California. Must be a very small house and the reason I say this is my son and daughter-in-law sold their 1400 (main living) plus 800 (finished basement) for almost $1.9 million dollars and the home originally was a Craftsman House sold by catalog. The sale took place about a year ago.

[@JH-rk9gd]

Depends where you live, I’m on mid peninsula and my house is 2.8 million, I paid 750k in 2002, my nieces house in Rocklin by Sacramento is actually nicer and they paid 600k

[@williambrownjr2346]

@@JH-rk9gd Los Angeles.

[@Sjrevog]

I live in California on almost an acre of land with a decent house and we paid 212k back in 2017. Not every city in this state is expensive to live in.

[@AllynHin]

There was no mention of kids. I can get a little sympathetic with the wife if she has kids that she intends to inherit the house she had before she married the caller. If there are no kids, it sounds like the wife married a roommate and that's all she intends him to be.

[@faylinameir]

I don't think she thinks she's better than him. I think she knows who he is and maybe low key shouldn't have married him but love is stupid. She's trying to protect herself. If anything she should divorce him because he seems like he just wants money.

[@thomasdalton1508]

There is a reason the law in a lot of jurisdictions contains special provisions for the marital home. Even if it was owned by one party prior to the marriage, on marriage it becomes a marital asset. (I'm guessing that's the law where they are, which is why they need a prenup to override it.) It is not healthy for him to be his wife's lodger. That's not good for their relationship. It also means he's likely to be worse off financially than he would be if they hadn't married, since he would be building equity in his own place. Marriage should make both people better off (financially and otherwise).

[@aolvaar8792]

You buy a house and TITLE it as: Unmarried Woman, sole and separate property. It is NOT a marital asset. When I got married, my spouse signed a Quit Claim Deed. years later, I asked My spouse if she would be a co-owner. She had to sign Legal acceptance papers, Acceptance of Community Property. You cannot force co-ownership on a spouse.

[@thomasdalton1508]

@@aolvaar8792 When you are married, who is on the title doesn't necessarily tell you who owns the house. A house can be community property despite only one name being on the title. This is a complicated area of law and can vary a lot from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

[@aolvaar8792]

@@thomasdalton1508 A house can be community property despite only one name being on the title. True But, the title tells How the property is held. I live in a Community property State, My TITLE is Community Property with rights of survivorship. BOTH spouses MUST sign an acceptance agreement. (Which is Bound to the Title.) BOTH names must be on the TITLE. It was Unmarried man, sole and separate property. Then, Married man, sole and separate property. I have bought property and had my wife SIGN a Quit Claim Deed to the property.

[@thomasdalton1508]

@@aolvaar8792 That situation is going to be unique to your jurisdiction. It works differently everywhere.

[@aolvaar8792]

@@thomasdalton1508 Example: New Mexico is a Community Property State, They do not have community property Titles. (married, title as Joint tenancy) My State does. I does not work differently everywhere, There are other Community property States, that work just like my Community property State. It is Not unique to my jurisdiction. Your OP comment "on marriage it becomes a marital asset." This was my point of disagreement. Steps can be taken if you live in a COMMUNITY PROPERTY STATE. So, assets solely owned prior to marriage do not become "Marital Assets". The United States has nine community property states. These states are: Arizona California Idaho Louisiana Nevada New Mexico Texas Washington Wisconsin

[@M167A1]

Unless you are quite wealthy at the time of marriage prenups are a poison pill. You're either all in or all out. I make the exception as sometimes there are other responsibilities. You don't want to sell the family farm to pay the divorce settlement..

[@MixUpTheVideos]

Fact: he CHOSE to sign the pre nup. Discussable - he was blinded by the meow meow. Also discussable - they may have had plans of what would change over time to which she may have changed her mind on - or never had intentions od changing and just did what she did to "lock him in". Who knows.

[@shaniquejoe5108]

I disagree!!! If roles were reversed yall would praise this man. (Talking about society not the hosts)

[@lisak7380]

The Ramsey Show disapproves of prenups in general.

[@WindyWalk]

No they wouldn't. Have you ever watched this show before?

[@GAFB1122]

@@WindyWalk The commenters would. I have seen the comments. The internet brings out one-sided commenters.

[@GAFB1122]

I don't know about the hosts BUT you are 100% absolutely correct. The comments would be praising the man and claiming the woman is a gold digger and he must protect his assets from her.

[@shaniquejoe5108]

@@WindyWalk I have and I wasnt talking about the hosts

[@tshandy1]

Dude, stop whining. No one made you sign anything. I don't blame your wife. You can "build up equity" by buying another house (an investment property), starting a business, investing in your own stocks and bonds, etc. etc. Enjoy the life you have with her. Forget about cOuNsElIng. It is overrated.

[@christiansamayoa4098]

That's how it always has to be

[@rojas-ei6to]

Great video, The first $100,000 invested was amazing. But when you hit $300,000 it’s like smashing the glass ceiling! I cried.

[@soriakatrice]

I completely agree with you! My first 100k took a long time and wasn't that special to be honest with you. Once I hit 300K that is the game changer in my opinion. At this point my money is basically making me a pretty good yearly salary. When I go to sleep at night I know my money is making decent money with the help of my FA

[@nix-po8wl]

Nice. People often underestimate financial advisors' importance. Over 50 years of data reveal that those who work with advisors typically earn more than those who go it alone. I've been fortunate to work with one for 13 years, resulting in a $1 million portfolio, largely from early investments in AI and other growth stocks.

[@rojas-ei6to]

I've been considering but haven't been proactive. Can you recommend your advisor? Could really use some assistance.

[@soriakatrice]

"Nicole Anastasia Plumlee" is the licensed advisor I use. Just research the name. You’d find necessary details to work with to set up an appointment.

[@rojas-ei6to]

I looked up her name online and found her page. I emailed and made an appointment to talk with her. Thanks for the tip

[@The.Man.WithAPlan]

That is the problem is everything is separate. No we why even married.

[@manylaughs9002]

Prenup for some 200k? Poor lady. A worthy husband is priceless. See ya!

[@stewarthoi]

Might be a little bit off topic, but according to the Department of Labor, the median salary for pharmacists is $136k.

[@GAFB1122]

Do you know what median means? Basically, the exact middle of a group of amounts. Depending on where they live, it is not at all implausible for her to earn $200K as a pharmacist.

[@jimmymcgill6778]

And so. Nothing saying you can't earn more.

[@stewarthoi]

​@@GAFB1122 Did I say it was implausible?

[@stewarthoi]

@@jimmymcgill6778 Did I say someone couldn't earn more?

[@furryplantsandcoins9070]

Oh wait so he doesn't get a hand in it if she dies so why is he paying for it now!! He needs to stop paying for anything that pertains to it!! Insurance, mortgage, any electric bill, gas bill, water bill!!! He don't get anything out of it then he should be moving out!! And I don't know why he would have ever thought to sign a prenup when it came to that especially if she's not willing to live their lives together as one!!

[@GAFB1122]

They should have gotten an appraisal on the house, then that amount is hers and what she came in with. Appreciation in value from that point should be shared. I would say the same thing if the man owned a million-dollar home and was marrying a woman without a home. I APPLY my opinions without bias toward gender!!

[@pld-wc7gf]

So you know what her estate plans are?

[@arthrodea]

No if she dies the house would go to him because they are married. Only if they divorce would she retain the home and would not have to split its value with him.

[@OGMPICKS]

Yes, if there has to be any talk for prenups then the marriage shouldn’t be happening. You have to date for 5-7 years. Really know this person. And that’s it you either trust them or you don’t. No need to get into the marriage with separation from a prenup.

[@TRC19999]

Disagree. She has more assets than he does. Shes being logical.

[@vv-zc3dc]

⁠@@TRC19999i agree id say the same thing to the poor men who historically speaking get violated with excessive alimony money by predatory women who marry them for money! Get a prenup! Be safe even if you think your partner is not in it for the money

[@YellowStarrx3]

Dating for 5-7 years doesn't make sense. Women have a 15 year window for having kids before age complications can happen.

[@daveblackman816]

Date for 5-7 years? Why? If you can’t know you’re ready to marry someone after 3 years, you’re just wasting time or have trust issues.

[@OGMPICKS]

@@YellowStarrx3 Wait so the man should also get a prenup if the roles were reversed?That’s ridiculous dude should’ve never gotten married is my point. She’s above him in the world and in their head. And yeah date for 5-7 years to really know the person you plan to build a life with forever.. or you know don’t.

[@BuiltNutritionFitness]

If a wife doesn’t see her husband as her best option, the marriage is doomed

[@kaythegardener]

The husband doesn't say anything about the circumstances in which she obtained the house before they were married!! Was it inherited or part of her family legacy?? I would be more concerned on obtaining a life interest in it under her will. That means, if she dies first, he gets to live in it for the rest of his life, & then it goes to her heirs after his death. That is assuming that he hasn't contributed anything financially to it during his life. If THAT is the case, then a determination of each spouse's share of the cost basis upon the death of the first one would be done by their tax preparer. Since the % of basis would determine the potential capital gains owed to govt upon the death. Accountants are used to figuring out % of shared assets all the time!!

[@Donkor640]

Fools Rush In! 🤑😂

[@shawncho5217]

I dont understand why people like this ever get married.

[@GAFB1122]

I believe the house should have had an appraisal done on it at time of marriage. Then that amount stays fixed in her favor and increase in value from that point is divided should they divorce. That's very fair.

[@pld-wc7gf]

I'm pretty sure that's what marital law in a community state provides for. I don't think the husband actually understands marital law.

[@aolvaar8792]

@@pld-wc7gf ??????? I live in a Community Property State. The house is TITLED as Unmarried Man, sole and separate property. Taxes, insurance, and maintenance are paid by a trust configured Prior to marriage.

[@aolvaar8792]

???? so, you get married and have ~$5 million in a brokerage account>>>> Then that amount stays fixed in her favor and increase in value from that point is divided should they divorce. NO

[@GAFB1122]

@aolvaar8792 Yes!! Gold diggers can be anyone Are you a gold digger?

[@janelleg597]

That was......short

[@Playingwithproxies]

Idk if legally he doesn’t have any ownership assuming there is still a significant amount of mortgage that they are paying off she didn’t own the house prior to the marriage and it should be a marital asset with her having a higher equity position. If you just signed an agreement that your wife get your million dollar house that she owes 800k on your pretty dumb

[@itsdasoundofthepolice6307]

She the man of the house. He needs to submit to his wife. She the bread winner. He should just quit his job and be the best homemaker that he can be.