I’m Afraid My Boyfriend Wants Me To Financially Support Him

[@jonibusskohl8958]

No guy falls in love quicker than a broke guy

[@characteristicallyauthentic]

And a broke woman

[@ashleyreid6356]

Quote of the week! Stealing it :)

[@Mike137dd-v4r]

Amen to that. Our daughter's broke ass live-in boyfriend loudly proclaimed his undying love and hasn't worked a day in a year.

[@growing.grounds4054]

I guess you know from experience

[@jet4415]

Hahaha!

[@joseh3564]

She has a heartbroken sound to her voice. She probably loves him, but knows deep inside that the relationship is not reciprocal.

[@christines1924]

Love disappears especially when you don't like someone!

[@ArmageddonIsHere]

Heck, no! To women, marriage is a financial arrangement. Money disappears, and so does she.

[@larissagonzales6075]

@@ArmageddonIsHere yeah and? Take your broke ass home.

[@raccuia1]

She said she's been burned in the past. Looks like she's a slow learner.

[@erome1488]

I know she is struggling, but it's easier to do it now than later. I see it now. They marry, have a baby and convinces her to allow him to stay with the baby because she earns more than him. Five years down the road, he refuses to go back to work and makes several excuses. I've seen it and the resentment.

[@beckypetersen2680]

When he told her it's " none of your business" - that tells me enough that he is not husband material. She's definitely dating a guy who is way below her.

[@linuxsurfer2002]

I believe that there are enough women who put up with this crap, that men are able to act this way. It's a shame.

[@djpuplex]

She's a 4 and he's a 8-10 on the market. If this was a average Andy or worse she wouldn't give him the time of day.

[@Scarface_445]

@@djpuplexRed Pillin your way around this ain’t gonna help G. Met plenty of girls who are 9 and 10’s looks wise and put up with 4’s and broke. Has a little to do with looks, yes, but charisma ain’t something you are born with. You learn it.

[@Scarface_445]

Agree. She said she’s never been treated well before, girl is not use to a dude acting right. Same boat here. Hopped on the first girl who paid any attention to me. Wasted 3 years of my life and lost so many friends thinking “no one will ever be like her”. Literally months after leaving was the best dating experience I’ve ever had in my life. Goes to show it’s just trail and error. I had to learn: we are young and don’t just instantly hop in a relationship with just any guy/girl.

[@adamseidel9780]

Either than or she should accept that he’s a PT who is going to work out a ton and be in super shape for her while she makes all the bread and accept having a trophy husband.

[@getinthespace7715]

This guy only works 20 hours a week... He thinks he found his meal ticket... For goodness sake, dump him. Start your life how you want, where you want.

[@genxx2724]

She’s about to jump off into her future, and she needs to find a guy who’s on her level. This guy will be a stone around her neck.

[@getinthespace7715]

@@genxx2724, Exactly. As a father raising a daughter, I would hope I can instill a sense of Integrity, appreciation for hard work and achievement and a good B.S detector to avoid lazy losers like this guy who was impressed with her and probably followed her home from the gym.

[@jamesmoody9363]

😅​@@getinthespace7715

[@marciawade9101]

​@@getinthespace7715 🤣🤣🤣 Yeah, I'd MUCH RATHER have a stray dog 🐕 following me, than a stray man 👞!

[@Kittyququmber]

Twenty hours a week as a trainer ??? Hahahaha🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@roxanneslate8661]

"He may be a sweet guy but there's a lot of lazy guys who are sweet". Dave nailed it.

[@firstlast8258]

Takes one to know one

[@Blittsplitt5]

​@@firstlast8258I wouldn't call him lazy

[@Emjay_blackdogranch]

@@Blittsplitt5 he is broke and only works 20 hours a week while not doing anything to enrich his mind, life, or income. He is not only lazy, he is worthless as tits on a boar hog. I would bet he can’t cook, clean, or contribute as well. He isn’t boyfriend material, let alone husband material

[@Emjay_blackdogranch]

@@firstlast8258that is the dumbest saying ever. It’s not hard to see lazy

[@karenhardie1132]

Why do women put up with this nonsense. Its okay to be single and wait for someone that treats you with respect. Its okay to be single.

[@Defx10]

Go feed your cats.

[@og6433]

She is emotionally and sexually attached to him.

[@karenhardie1132]

@og6433 Also, women think they won't find anyone again if they leave. 😢 They don't want to be alone.

[@maengh82]

@@Defx10don’t threaten me with a good time now

[@mark1542]

@@Defx10😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣😂

[@MsDezB1]

Him: My financial status is NONE of your BUSINESS. Her: He treats me so wonderfully!

[@TheVosack]

As SOON as he said it's none of her business, she should have dropped him that instant.

[@Tessy29k]

Women can be so blind sometimes. She's describing her bum boyfriend as "perfect" when je hasn't done anything to deserve such a title at all.

[@Southern.Nappiness]

Probably said that because he has no finances. Come on, the dude was only working 20 hrs a week. That's gas money.😂😂😂

[@jamesmoody9363]

​@😅Southern.Nappiness

[@marya3823]

My finances are None of your business, but let me lean on your finances! 😮

[@doubles1545]

“There’s a lot of lazy guys who are sweet.” 😂😂😂😂

[@joesmith3590]

A lot of the worst people can be the most charming. That is how they get away with it.

[@FortuneSeek3rz]

And not surprisingly, there's alot of jerks who work hard.

[@djpuplex]

A ton of women out there have men pay for things as well.

[@justinebailey5333]

Right

[@blackphillygal]

That's why they are sweet.

[@maryansel932]

The minute a prospective husband said, "my finances are none of your business", that would be all I needed to hear...adios!

[@gorkyd7912]

He's a BF, not a fiance.

[@nomemeshere4807]

​@gorkyd7912 they never said he was. Most people still date to eventually marry.

[@JanetFrisby-wl6zb]

He isn't a perspective husband he's a user 😢😢😢

[@anndeecosita3586]

@@gorkyd7912So what. If they are living together then their finances are each other’s business. I would also have a problem if she told him that. The rent doesn’t care if you’re married.

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

My mother supported my father while he was in grad school. Then, my father supported us (fam) the rest of his life AND set us up for financial success. He never said “it’s none of your business.”

[@gorkyd7912]

Probably because they got married. At which point it was her business.

[@KimSmith-b9v]

I know a woman who supported her boyfriend (they lived together) for years. The moment he finished his education and became a doctor he was out of her life.

[@Iworkwithnitwits]

Your mother was lucky. Many women who do the same are not so lucky. The man can flee as soon as grad school is done and has no intention of repaying any of the money that helped support him.

[@Ruth-vy1qj]

@@KimSmith-b9vterrible it of users karma will get to him

[@BusArch42]

@@KimSmith-b9vhappened to my step sister except they were married with two kids. As soon as he graduated medical school he filed for divorce and married a nurse.

[@simba8276]

Shawty. You’re 21. Move on.

[@RetirementbyDesign26]

RIGHT!!

[@Kayla-hs9rt]

lol right she is young and fresh. She should have plenty of other options

[@GeorgeGiann]

Just move on… you’re so young.

[@austintomkewitz3981]

No need to be wasting time on losers when there's winners like me out here single

[@christines1924]

Bullsh** RUN FORREST!

[@zachilten8064]

Our grandparents were right: Everyone needs to quit shacking up.

[@lilred00051]

I'm doing it now and it does work right now due to extenuating citizens. HOWEVER I would never do it again. Hindsight is 20/20 but it would of been better to listen to grandma!

[@sidwhiting665]

@@lilred00051 "I'm going it now... I would never do it again... I should have listened to grandma." Am I the only one utterly confused by this series of words strung together? If you would NEVER do it again, and you realize NOW that grandma was right.... you should be out the door within the next hour. You're living in a sunk cost fallacy, and that almost never works out well.

[@barnabusdoyle4930]

I think she is seeing who this guy is far more because she lives with him than if they weren’t living together. This is why she’s calling the show and why she is suggesting he moves to Texas first. She is able to see the writing on the wall BECAUSE they live together. There are a lot of red flags you will never see about someone if you don’t live with them. It’s very easy to hide who you are to someone you are dating. It’s very hard to hide that when they use the same bathroom you do.

[@zachilten8064]

@barnabusdoyle4930 They (and the majority of modern people) want all the benefits of marriage without the commitment of entering into a covenant. Premarital counseling would help them hash out the issues. Because she's been physically intimate with him, it's that much harder for her to make the right decision. Sex is for husbands and wives only. We mock that concept because we crave instant gratification and have no fear of God.

[@matthewgardner2144]

@@zachilten8064 If traditional marriage was the brass ring, there'd never be divorce. Better people know the bad (and the good!) about their partners by living together WITHOUT marriage first before making such a leap.

[@Aboutaprincess]

I hope this girl works on her self esteem. She seems smart, sweet and hard working, she can do so much better than this bum.

[@sandrasimplytoday7772]

So true. I pray she was strong enough to leave him.

[@Iamsam-jl5fn]

“Treats me wonderfully” = “charms me by telling me what he thinks I want to hear”.

[@diannemc3179]

Facts

[@cmg2651]

My father used to say “when you have to make an important decision, think with your head and not your heart”.

[@ms.a806]

When you have an important decision, ask God for wisdom and understanding and he freely gives it without finding fault.

[@coriemmett1363]

Bingo 😅

[@millilear4210]

It’s truly treacherous

[@spicysith9627]

Don´t move, sweetheart. This guy sounds like an abuser bent on removing you from your family in order to isolate you from those who can help you and keep you safe. Stay right where you are and please put an end to this relationship no matter how much he begs or tries to manipulate you by using guilt or any other dirty trick. This smells terribly bad.

[@naomiemoore5725]

You hit the nail on the head. Absolutely do not move in with this loser. If he doesn't want to disclose his financial info, he is after yours and will be a sugar mama. Nope. My girlfriend's husband did this, pulled her from the people that love and protect her. He is a horrible person and she is the sole breadwinner and she pays for EVERYTHING, yet she can't spend more than $20 without "approval." He spends thousands and thousands and justify by saying it is better than paying endless repair bills. They have an enormous home. They have two kitchens, mother in law suite, not a kosher home, but it could be. He has replace

[@carpediem6431]

It’s too bad that weak people make such easy prey for the users and grifters in this world. It’s also too bad that the same personality deficiencies (lack of self worth, desperation etc.) trap the person into a relationship that EVERYONE around them can see is abusive.

[@sofiashakur3116]

This is exactly what’s going on

[@goodgirlsguide]

Agree. I have also just said that.

[@akaTheLaughingGirl]

@@naomiemoore5725 are you telling me your in affair or do you mean ex- husband?

[@MrMadaket78]

Run Forrest, RUN! Do not make this terrible mistake.

[@ladyventura7302]

Lol

[@AgnesHarperq3x]

"Building wealth is like climbing a mountain; investing is the steady ascent, retirement is the summit."

[@NikolasMartine01]

Great analogy! Climbing toward retirement takes effort, but the financial freedom at the top is worth it.

[@GraceOliviaf7y]

Great insight! I'd love to meet a financial adviser who can help me climb the financial ladder effectively.

[@MatthewAidan4ns]

Great point, With my adviser’s help, I’ve climbed the financial ladder, making informed decisions that support my retirement goals.

[@GraceOliviaf7y]

My CFA NICOLE ANASTASIA PLUMLEE a renowned figure in her line of work. I recommend researching her credentials further.

[@MatthewAidan4ns]

Thank you for this amazing tip. I just looked the name up and wrote her.

[@lms2379]

Never assume someone is going to change. Accept or reject based on the current--not hoped for--version of someone.

[@NickM_FirstofHisName]

☝🏾This!

[@esgee2464]

Wish I learned this decades ago!

[@Person-mh6xq]

@@esgee2464same 😢

[@PyrPupMom]

So, so so true. As RC Blakes, Jr, says, "Potential doesn't pay the light bill."

[@NickM_FirstofHisName]

@@PyrPupMom Some people confuse potential and wishful thinking. Hoping someone will change isn't the same as hoping that someone will make it big.

[@corrieanderson5630]

I spent years supporting a man who wouldn't work. It SUCKED. I hated him at the end.

[@LordBattleSmurf]

You should have dated someone who was in your looks league if you also expected him to pay the bills. You are not going to get a hot, tall, fit, charming man all to yourself who has $ and doesn't cheat. You gotta pick 1 or the other

[@plaidpaisley5918]

At 28 I met a wonderful creative guy with a decent job, but not much future. I had a great job but some health concerns. After a couple of years we talked abt a future together and I let him know that if we were to have children, (due to my health concerns), I could not be the bread winner. He promptly applied for a very stable great opportunity job, and within a year we were married. He has risen to comfortable living with opportunities to engage with his musical creative side on the side. We raised 2 great kids and I was able to stay home with them. He initiated these changes, after our conversation about our future.

[@BlueDauntless]

And maybe the caller’s boyfriend will step up when she talks to him. He might need a push. Or he might just not be in the right frame of mind for what the caller needs.

[@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem]

congrats on having 2 kids and a good marriage, when i first started reading that i was worried it was leading to "at 28 we broke up and then i didnt have enough time to find a good husband and have kids". the harsh reality is that women in their 30's are ofc not what men that want kids are looking for. these days with radical 3rd wave feminism teaching women that kids are bad and you're only valuable if you're a career "girl boss" working woman sadly too many women choose career and then wake up at 30, or even worse in their 40's when its actually too late and they realize they've been lied to and money doesnt make you happy. its actually sick whats being taught to women these days, and the birth rates all over the west reflect that, hence why ever country is opening its borders to avoid population collapse, in hopes that the boomers will have enough young people to fund their retirements. birth rate replacement is 2.1 kids per woman, in the US we are at like 1.66, in Italy they are literally at 1.08... we are in a real crisis mode and most people dont even realize it. overpopulation isnt a problem, population collapse is the problem, and the only countries above replacement rate are 3rd world failed countries like Nigeria, Afghanistan etc, which doesnt bode well for humanity if we want to have 1st world countries. at the end of the day the choice is on the women and seemingly when women have easy access to birth control, abortions etc they choose to wipe out their cultures, and its not just in the west, its happening in rich asian countries too like Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, Singapore etc.

[@Tessy29k]

THAT is a man of action

[@nuffsez5625]

OR, men could just be better humans by protecting and providing for women so that women can trust them to procreate with. That'll also prevent the population collapse.​@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem

[@WistleWhileYouTwerk]

@@BlueDauntlesspush yourself so lazy 🙄

[@Beginningtopeak]

Don't play house, children.

[@No2HeartStoppingClotShots]

So true!

[@firstlast8258]

​@@No2HeartStoppingClotShotsnot mine 🤓🖕

[@CecileEdwards]

I think living with a man is only the benefit to the man! Women need to wise up! Stop being the wife when you’re not married! Stop helping to enable these good for nothing men!

[@cerdafiedDeveloper]

You can tell Rachel is pleading with her not to go

[@rachelabate2401]

Poor kid. Her voice is shaking while she speaks. I've encountered guys who want to be kept. They try to look slick and sauve, but I ain't about to work to keep a boyfriend. It hurts your pride, but you deserve better, sweetheart. He needs to be an independent person before he tries to leech/ lean on you. Girl, run, and there's gotta be better out there for you. Even if there is not. You still deserve better than the crumbs he's offering.😊

[@KanaTron]

Once, I moved for a man.. He moved six months before I did. He was financially stable. When I expressed my concerns about finance, finding a job etc.. he told me to not worry, he made enough to support us both. So, I trusted him, moved to be with him. Biggest mistake ever. The first two weeks were wonderful. He treated me so well, however I was bored. I needed to work, so I went job hunting, found a small part time job. After I started working, he showed his true colors. The next two weeks were horrible. One month after moving for him, I was back home. He didn't want an equal, he wanted someone he could control.

[@isabellopes890]

Well-done for realising that early and not continuing in that situation.

[@sagebreeze]

So glad you got out of that.

[@khrisstake2210]

Can we have examples?

[@firefly9838]

@@khrisstake2210 bro wants story time of her on her knees💀

[@gretalukoseviciute2058]

The same happened to me. At first I was his queen and all. And after second child it was unbearable all the cold treatment and emotional and financial abuse. When I needed something The response was: you go get it yourself or the blame that my parents didn’t give me anything for the wedding... The thing was that while he was traveling to earn HIS money, I had to stay home to take care of our two toddlers in culturally unfamiliar country. When I started to work and also got my masters degree he got just worse. I had to leave because the constant walking on shells was changing me from inside. First few years was really very hard, but so worth it. Never stay in a place where you are not respected or appreciated.

[@TMPS93]

Been there with my ex girlfriend. Don't just run, SPRINT!

[@BeerFoamy]

Drizzle Drizzle

[@plezilakay1214]

Like a cheetah 🐆 😂

[@jeanmccallum-xs8rk]

Right! This guy is a jerk.

[@dougholdem2898]

Allison, there's a time to fish and there's a time to cut bait. It's time to cut bait! The good news is he is a boyfriend, not a husband!

[@luckelea]

This was good!! So many women I know would rather be unhappy and in a relationship than be single. The fear of being single is making them make terrible decisions.

[@jeanniesabol5410]

And settle for awful. RUN. You deserve so much better. And his finances ARE your business if he wants to take from you financially. RUN.

[@Brianna-dk9bz]

For sure! In my youth I was like this, I always used to chose bad guys. I put it up with it because I had things inside myself I needed to work on and lacked confidence. That's why we put it up with it. Unfortunently, I stayed in these unhealthy dynamics for 2-3 years before I finally learned to be on my own and work on myself...then met my husband.

[@LazygirlLA892]

This is such a complex topic. When a woman’s emotions are involved it’s next to impossible to do what you know is right. I got lucky. I loved my ex, but he cheated on me right before he lost his job. If he hadn’t, I know I would have financially supported him through the layoff. But since he cheated, that love and respect was gone and I left. He ended up having to go live on his mom’s couch in a lousy part of town. That same year I took myself on a solo trip to Australia as a celebration of the major bullet I had dodged. I also bought a house in a nice part of town. I wouldn’t have been able to do either of those things if I had stayed with the guy. He’s still unemployed and living on his mom’s couch.

[@rgeorge8618]

He knows that if she stays behind, she’ll gain clarity and ask herself, “What am I doing?”

[@Elizabeth-uj8vn]

He’s been gaslighting her and that’s why she’s all confused

[@LawfulNutral]

Don’t move in with someone you aren’t married or engaged to. Do not marry or get engaged to someone who says “it’s none of your business.”

[@makingtechsense126]

Years ago I knew a married couple where the man refused to get a full-time job. He was indignant and kept his family in poverty so he could have more personal time to play video games. Eventually the wife got a good paying professional job and divorced him.

[@BeyondTigerMilk]

Ok

[@carpediem6431]

He’s probably on those men’s board’s complaining how he’s bit..ch ex-wife did him wrong.

[@WistleWhileYouTwerk]

@@BeyondTigerMilk- the lazy ex husband

[@Brooklyn-rj3np]

Me

[@firstlast8258]

Vidya gamez

[@katjorbar]

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior! Even if he shapes up, you'll always be uneasy about the future with him!

[@BlueDauntless]

Oh, honey. Trust your instincts. And don’t move in with boyfriends. That’s reserved for your husband. Who is going to be on the same page as you financially! You deserve that!

[@Laoriginal718]

Exactly. I will never understand living together before marriage.

[@BlueDauntless]

@@Laoriginal718Same. It doesn’t make sense.

[@OtisFlint]

Lol, who would marry someone they didn't live with first? That's incredibly dumb.

[@BlueDauntless]

@@OtisFlintI did. My husband and I have been together for over 17 years. Why would anyone want to live with someone before they’re married. That’s dumb.

[@linuxsurfer2002]

@@OtisFlint My wife and I did, 17 years ago. Why do you need to move in with someone before marriage? Several studies have shown that the divorce rate is higher for those who move in together before marriage than for those who don't.

[@islandyyt]

I hope Alison takes all of this advice, and goes on to a fabulous life. She deserves that!

[@genxx2724]

My colleague married her personal trainer. She met him when she was rehabilitating from injuries sustained in a car accident. I think this was just as she had graduated law school and was studying for the bar exam. He had been quite successful at his job. They had two babies as she started her career. He began slacking off at work, taking fewer and fewer appointments, and letting her support the family. Then he started holing up in the bedroom, obsessed with watching smut. He began having an affair. When she divorced him, she had to pay spousal support in addition to child support. Let that be a warning to the caller.

[@genxx2724]

I should add that he was more attractive than she was. He was tall and fairly handsome. She had average looks, and didn’t have a good figure. She worked out, but she just didn’t have a good shape. She probably had a very strong physical attraction to him and felt lucky in the beginning.

[@anthonywilliams9415]

😂😂

[@dahliaherrod4301]

A warning against what? You just said he was successful in his career and his work ethic didn't change until after they married.

[@willawentertainment]

@@genxx2724Lazy and handsome don’t add up to anything.

[@hoodhippychick]

@@dahliaherrod4301 The signs are ALWAYS there! Look closer is the warning even if he/she has a job. You cannot fake work ethic.

[@jimeagle5509]

I can hear it in her voice. Run, girl. Run. Fast.

[@emilyharrison1340]

Not only should she not move in with him, she should also break up with him and find herself a good-getter (like she is.)

[@alisonm3700]

Ive never seen him work full-time? Girl, if a potential employer would evaluate him so should you! X1000%

[@maxineclark9169]

He is treating you so well (according to you) because he has no stress working only 20 hours a week (according to him but that means nothing), has to be nice to you because he wants you to be a cash cow and financially support him in this move and probably forever. AND you put up with him not knowing how much he makes. he has a great deal...why wouldn't he be nice. my sister did the same thing and after three kids realized her husband was never going to get motivated to really support the family. she had to handle 80% of the financial burden. Just about broke her until she divorced him and then he wanted her money and retirement account.

[@catherinewilke5583]

My ex also refused to work. Cost me half of my hard earned net worth to get rid of his sorry a$&. First he tried to take custody of my kids, because he thought he could continue to sit around while I would have to pay him huge child support. Thankfully the judge laughed in his lazy face.

[@rebeccajaron]

Wow. What a pathetic bum.

[@rebeccajaron]

Wow. This one hits close to home for me. My sister married a personal trainer who only worked part time who is “nice” and let me tell you ever since there hasn’t been a bill she hasn’t footed. He probably should be filed as a dependent on tax documents.

[@alexandriabrown1388]

So sad…but😂😂

[@MsKateC2K]

the bar for men is subterranean

[@gorkyd7912]

So? I pay my wife's bills.... what's the problem?

[@firstlast8258]

​@MsKateC2K speak for yourself 🤓 🖕

[@MB-uy5kh]

@@gorkyd7912In your case, you’re married since you called her “wife” and you probably have not told her your financial situation is none of her business

[@untouchable360x]

Those good girls love broken guys. She has a history of dating guys who don’t have their shit together.

[@Scarface_445]

She said 1 relationship prior dude. Relax

[@untouchable360x]

@@Scarface_445 First time, shame on him. Second time, shame on her. You can’t get fooled again.

[@cg-1973]

@@untouchable360x she's 21 years old. She's a baby. If she is dating guys her age, they are just babies, too.

[@Defx10]

What makes her a "good girl?" She's not even willing to take care of her man and meet his needs. She sounds like a terrible partner to me. He can do better.

[@TheDoggmom]

Haha,you forgot the /sarcasm tag.

[@alicesmith7180]

He's not the only one - Trust Us! If he doesn't want to share finances, he cannot be trusted. Keep going and keep looking! Mr. Right is out there waiting for someone like you who is worth it.

[@fisf.2148]

Alison, i split up with my fiancé after suggesting he meet up with a member of my family to get a high earning role and he told me i'm mentally ill to suggest that. He was complaining week in and week out that he didn't have any money and i would always transfer money to him. This guy will turn you to a single mum

[@dotchery]

“If he doesn’t change, he’s not the one.” Facts

[@eddyw14]

Honey! You know exactly what you need to do. Protect your heart and your money.

[@Averagedude-mi3fl]

One word. RUN

[@dronetrucker]

FAST

[@No2HeartStoppingClotShots]

😂 Sprint!

[@No2HeartStoppingClotShots]

😂 Sprint!

[@jeanmccallum-xs8rk]

Dump the guy. Then run.

[@phoenixcain3552]

Don't think of this in terms of shortage of guys you can marry, but rather, while you are with this guy, "the guy you're supposed to marry" might walk right past you because you're already with this chump! A good man wont look at a girl who has a boyfriend (especially if she is living with him) Keep yourself available for your future husband! Run!

[@gregory4154]

Honestly, I think she's already emotionally attached to him. That might over rule any rational or common sense in her decisions

[@patriciamalone3553]

That is exactly it. He is probably good looking and a great lover. That is how these guys skate through life with nice women. It is hard to break away, but you have to bite the bullet. Trust me, if you hear about him in a few years you will smile and pat yourself on the back.

[@TeeBoyd88]

Agree. She would warn her younger sister but she'll throw herself into the same fire. I hope she moved on.

[@gregory4154]

@@TeeBoyd88 Very true

[@user-xs9835]

​@@gregory4154 What if she finds someone who makes a lot of money but cheats a lot, treat her badly and is a lousy, narcissistic lover? Will she be happy then?

[@gregory4154]

@@user-xs9835 That doesn't make any sense. How does that, equally, bad, fix this particular situation she's in.

[@jenniferannfox2316]

The number one thing she needs to be successful is not just a business degree but intense counseling why she chooses men who use her financially. If she has had this before there is a pattern of accepting men who are users.

[@goodgirlsguide]

Users and abusers

[@firstlast8258]

​@@goodgirlsguidetakes one to know one

[@bonniehall578]

There are a lot of women who settle for less than they deserve because they are afraid they will no 8:30 t find the right one. Some women are afraid of being single; they dont want to live alone.

[@JustinCase780]

His "own business" is a hobby in disguise. Dump him today.

[@EsiriE]

“Dump him today” why is this hilarious 😂😂

[@poms-eyeview2453]

Absolutely

[@Defx10]

Simp

[@josephhuman7390]

Hahaha hahaha yes , Time to move on ..

[@growing.grounds4054]

Dump him cause he hasn’t figured life out yet in his early 20s smh weird

[@MikeNapoli1989]

Part that got me was when she mentioned an ex with the same pattern. If you date a loser, that makes you a loser too. You attract what you think you deserve.

[@donnag7908]

Yes, I think she possibly has self-esteem issue.

[@kokoskokso]

​@@tonytoni1150 that's a loser mindset right there. Quit playing victim.

[@emilyfeagin2673]

Or that’s the only thing available in her area

[@Mr_Fairdale]

"Hello, Low Self Esteem, you're on the air...."

[@acd1168]

She is also dickmatized probably.

[@briankelly7978]

No just a young dumb college girl

[@penguin12902]

He's a personal trainer - she's punching out of her league (looks wise).

[@anthonywilliams9415]

​@@penguin12902 📠

[@MachineGunKali]

@@penguin12902it has to only be looks because outside of that he seems to have nothing else going for himself. Just a pretty loser.

[@aphillyate1]

The man is OK with relocating because he knows that he has a responsible woman to pick up his slack. He would never even contemplate doing the same for her.

[@TraciLMiller]

Girl RUN!!!! My first marriage was to a loser like this, break up right now

[@matthewstarkloff]

It's like I tell my kids. Live for you! Don't try to keep up with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Don't expect them to keep up with you. If you have a goal, just live to secure that goal and if they can't keep up, keep on moving on without them.

[@drn13355]

She sounds like she is about to cry. She for sure needs to go with her gut. Her spider sense is ringing off the chart.If he was 65 and retired and wanted to work a little part time job that is fine, but he is like 20. He should be working almost non stop. She says "he treats me wonderfully", but he won't tell her his finances won't work full time.

[@neonpandas]

I have been dumb in relationships before with my time and heart but I have never been dumb with money in relationships. She needs to leave because he does not respect her.

[@nursed.porchae990]

That "it's not my business" would've ended the relationship for me. I'm glad Dave gave her truth

[@mangodaguiotango]

I honestly don't get why people even think about making commitments like moving together or god forbid, marriage, when they don't even agree on finances...

[@firstlast8258]

Gawd

[@Bonesph]

Because a lot of young people watched a bunch of married people not pull off marriage and so they just assume it's no different. And when they stay single they get judged so they think they need a partner like you need a car or other things like that.

[@Cal-t3y]

Run don't look back. Get married when you are ready not before.

[@abbasjoy4785]

You're too trusting girlie! You're so sweet and such an empath that you attract users, your brain, your body knows it, so tryst your instincts and run. Forget that he's sweet. Love yourself sweetheart, and embrace being alone sometimes.

[@nekonetflux2258]

Dave is being unfair here, he expects him to work 60 hours a week and make 100k a year which is not feasible income for most men. Also if you do this she may not like it and say you’re not caring or spending enough time with her, double edged sword.

[@maryharper9321]

Being with this guy will keep you from finding the right one …run dont walk away from this guy

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

Run, girl, run!!!! My sister married an underemployed man, assuming he'd grow up and step up to the plate, he did not! (they divorced) He was perfectly content to go from his lower middle class mother footing his bills up until age 30, to my working three jobs but still not high earning sister doing it. If you're not a full time caretaker for little kids or disabled elders, there's no excuse to hang out all day while the other adult or adults in the home are killing themselves to keep the lights on. If you've got a trust fund, god bless, do whatever you want, the rest of us need to work, unfortunately.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

Yet females do it all the time~

[@cherylhughes2988]

Believe me when I say that eventually he will quit working, and she will do nothing BUT work to keep from losing everything. I lived it.

[@2btrue2u]

Drop the happy meal and get with a real deal. One of life's Biggest decision is picking a partner, don't excuse the red flags.

[@Laoriginal718]

🤦🏽‍♀️ stop living together before marriage 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[@krystanicoleeee6022]

Exactly!

[@stephaniep1761]

I waited until I was married, and ran into surprise after surprise. He left me after 11 years. There are great risks involved in not truly knowing a person before marriage.

[@rgkafk5djsk291]

Rachel Cruze is 100% right!

[@joshw7415]

Please DO NOT move with this guy. He’s not committed to a serious relationship with you; he simply wants you you to support him.

[@Mike137dd-v4r]

Don't be afraid to walk away Allison. You're so young with your life ahead of you.

[@random-nz7dy]

Complete lack of self-esteem and self-respect. Because it's already crazy to consider moving to a different state for somebody that's a boyfriend/girlfriend. But even crazier to do so for somebody who's a complete loser

[@firstlast8258]

Crazy is as crazy does

[@linuxsurfer2002]

So many of these situations would not occur if people would not move in before they were married. I agree with Rachel and Dave - this lady deserves better. Her boyfriend is lazy and needs to get a job and get on his feet.

[@jessicaparker374]

Girl, you will be on the hook for him. Believe me, there is so resentment when YOU have to take out your wallet to pay for drinks or dinner for the both of you. YOU will be FURIOUS when he has no money for the bills and YOU have to pay it. You have been there before, why in the WORLD are you jumping back into the same situation????? Do better. He is just looking for a sugar mama.

[@SuzanneQuew-vc4us]

This duo is the best combo I’ve seen because what one lacks, the other provides…but, father/daughter is a real special thing. Plus, they are comfortable together and you can see it…at ease.

[@mikesawyer4707]

This young lady knows exactly what to do.

[@crystalsnquartz421]

You are already worth a lot as a woman with a degree and two jobs now it’s time for you to KNOW your WORTH. Best of luck!

[@donnag7908]

Rachel absolutely got to the heart of the problem. She knows he’s not worthy of her but she feels like she has to settle! So glad Rachel told her, “You’re twenty-one, there are other guys.”

[@rachelcarper9297]

Exactly I was thinking this poor girl needs a self confidence boost she has no idea what a catch she is and how many amazing guys would want to date her.

[@gingerdrass]

She's with a narcissist! They are so hard to get away from. He will not change.

[@heathergray9195]

Or just an entitled slacker

[@cassandrahuete5973]

It’s so sad when a 21 year old thinks they can’t do any better. I’m older and wiser and would rather be single than with a loser who will weigh me down. That takes a lot of maturity to get to that point

[@firstlast8258]

Enjoy your cats

[@cassandrahuete5973]

⁠@@firstlast8258I’m not single. I’m happily in a healthy relationship, with a successful man, with two cats together

[@illylovesburritos]

Ignoring the red flags because you wanna see the good in people will cost you later.

[@VendieSolde]

Faaaccccttttssss!

[@historiqueafricaine]

Ohhh yes💯

[@sableann4255]

RED FLAGS!!!! DO NOT MARRY HIM!!!!!!

[@tande0822]

DON’T GO ALLISON!! I have an ex as well who I helped and helped and he owes me thousands of dollars..just like you!! DONT GET BURNT AGAIN!! I promise you there are better men out there!

[@BG-nm5xt]

Omg! Warning, warning! There are a lot of people out there who won't work full time, won't pursue a career, and won't hold up their end, who can't and won't pay their way. Avoid them at all cost! Time to break up! He doesn't treat you well and it's insulting for him to say, finances are none of your business! So ridiculous for him to say that!

[@waltsfly4996]

Hello Allison. Mr. Ramsey, gave you Solid Advice!!!! 1. Love doesn't pay the bills!!!! 2. Him telling you, his money, is none of your business. Is definitely Disrespectful! Especially since, after graduating, you'll be making a ton more, than his part-time business is doing. Well, since he said that and feels that way. Please do what's Best for Allison. If by chance you're good with possibly paying 70/30 going forward, for the entirety of your relationship??? Then, by all means, move to Texas and we'll all say Good Luck!!!!

[@songindarkness]

Allison you sound like a lovely, kind, caring, hard-working person. You have so much going for you. The person who really deserves you is out there. They will find you. He is not it.

[@kay22100]

The Bible also said the heart is deceitful which is why we don’t follow our heart

[@cjhoward409]

The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked

[@Person-mh6xq]

🙄. Or just use common sense. Don’t go by the Bible, lol.

[@danieldoucet9121]

My heart pumps blood.

[@kay22100]

@@Person-mh6xq God is the only reason you have any type of moral compass or the “common sense” you speak of.

[@James_Hough]

Don't move with someone you are not married to.

[@luisvigo3777]

Grow up

[@OtisFlint]

@@luisvigo3777 Religious dorks, lol. Yeah go marry a stranger, good idea

[@steve3585]

Don’t get married. It’s a terrible idea, especially for the higher earner.

[@mb00765]

@@steve3585 Enjoy your statistically shorter and more depressing life.👍

[@Joenzinator]

I was in a long distance relationship for 4 months. I quit my job to be closer to her. We have been married for 12 years now. The only problem with this story is that the boyfriend is a bum.

[@karenhultgren7810]

To the caller, you are only 21. You will meet lots of guys. There are many great guys out there. Wait for someone you can build a life with and who treats you like a loving partner. Take care of yourself and do what is best for you.

[@merylparks1584]

Don’t do it, you know you shouldn’t do it, I’ve been foolish, but not any longer Run from him you deserve better, you’ll end up being the bread winner if he doesn’t work all the time, you sound smart, you can do better , you need someone who works hard and can build a wonderful life together not with someone who won’t contribute most likely

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

And why does HE have to be the breadwinner? How many males have been the breadwinner since beginning of time?

[@nessapalmer5316]

Don't do what a lot of young women do. Waste your 20s with a bum. Don't care how "nice" he is.

[@heathergray9195]

Nice enough often enough for her to agree to be his bangmommy

[@jilljohnson251]

She needs to listen to this call about a dozen times. She's answering her own question, but is too blinded by this guy to accept the truth😢

[@Gtrundlebed]

I was in this exact, EXACT situation when I was 22. Run girl.

[@makazine]

Run, Alison... RUN!!

[@happyinparis]

Every day you stay with him you are delaying more pain. Move on. You will get over him. Trust me!

[@LexiLaLuz147]

People...just be single. Don't put yourself in an uncomfortable position or situation where someone is blocking you from your own journey. At 21 years old, the brain is not even fully developed. Give yourself a chance to live and explore without the hindrance of someone draining your life force.

[@MrTmenzo]

My coworkers son is in the same position. He's a bodybuilder working part time while his girlfriend works full-time paying the bills. Sure some trainers can become very successful as seen in KZbin selling their image etc but not all.

[@teenindustry]

Then he should work the other 3 days while he builds a business

[@dudeorduuude5211]

This is a lesson many young women/people face now. Moving from dating because they are there or cute, and dating because your life goals and lifestyles match ... and they are cute as a bonus.

[@kay22100]

Runnnnnnn!!! Or she’ll be calling in 5 years from now saying she married a man who doesn’t wanna work. She needs to talk to some married ladies in this situation. She’s just 21 but glad she has enough sense to see SOME of the red flags

[@lanakeeton8102]

She knows that she needs to take care of herself first. Her heart will be bruised, but her head knows she needs to break up, that's why she called, to confirm what she knows and to work past the hurt.

[@juststradwife]

Alison, I didn’t meet the man I married until I was 28. We both worked full-time until about 9 months ago. I have hated my career since 3 months in. My husband encouraged me to cut back my hours at work because he saw how miserable I was. I now work 7 days every two weeks, we’re working on paying off my student loans together, and this past Sunday, he cleaned the cat litter and took out the trash and recycling so that I could take a nap. He was upset with himself for not thinking to do the dishes to help me out even more. The right man is out there, and he is WORTH waiting for!!!