AMANI TALKS: What are the relationship roles? ft.Terry Roseland

[@FamilyMan256]

I’m a Man myself (Husband). It don’t take no 9 months for you to know if she’s the one or not. He playing games and she’s allowing it 💯

[@AmaniWortham]

Exactly!

[@twizobuckley]

You'z a Suckah 😂I swea Brothaz gotta watch for Homegirls like you

[@Dr.Beetlejuice110]

I think you are talking about a totally different thing. We see women's beauty first and call her wifey. That's not real, and you can't take that man seriously. That hella impulsive and unwise. I'm a man too, I was like that in my teens. Not grown man in my 30's with a job etc. I'm not moved by beauty and how she moves anymore. That gets her in the door but her personality and how she handles disagreements between the two of us and how we move as a couple is what wins her the ring. I treat my space as valuable, my ideas and being with me as valuable. In my dating experiences vetting is a necessity. How long you need is how long you need. It's about your life as well as hers. They deserve to be 100 percent sure, no BS, no chances taken. I'm not for dictating actions out of anyone women or men. If she is the one and wants to be with him she has to figure out how to get through to him. As a man myself I'm looking at a lot when it comes to a woman. 9 months is nothing, I know a white couple who are almost 30. They have been together since they graduated high school. I'm sure she pressing him too in other ways but she doesn't allow anyone at work or anyone that know them to even bring it up. If they do, she just smiles and like, "we will see." The guy just says he's working on it and smiles. Not letting anyone dictate their relationship. We gotta stop dictating how things should be for everyone especially if we are not growing up the same and having the same experiences.

[@mindingmybusiness6309]

Women are being told to be patient, otherwise we are being pestering.

[@kimberlymawi]

I’m Asian & middle eastern. I feel like the reason why marriages last so long in our cultures is bc marriage is based on security, shared values/goals & building something together. Love alone isn’t enough. everything that ur saying is facts, Imani. men know to provide in our culture. most Asian/middle eastern women will leave a man after a year if there’s no proposal or plan of proposing lol. I’m glad ur bringing light and wisdom to the American community! 👏🏼👏🏼

[@NB-nh2sf]

You think that's the reason?

[@JaleccaMcNack]

He proves the point that men will not sacrifice their own happiness it's funny because women do it all the time.

[@bfyre1]

I tell women start asking these dudes straight up if they want marriage soon as you see no progress, leave him immediately. Im a black man saying this

[@tone1245]

@@bfyre1what’s the shortest amount of time you think it will take you to make that decision?

[@rayshelw4556]

@@tone12456 months maybe 7 anything after that is a waste of time

[@tone1245]

@@rayshelw4556 To get married? Wild. I feel like that's kind of fast with the way today is. You never know which way that person may change especially after 35

[@MarokoJin]

@@tone1245 all the dudes I knew (but I'm not American), they're either ready from the first date because they want to "build a family/home" or they're not. But hey I'm African (north), we also have this "dating" bullshit going on for more than a year here, it became more common but still, it's still common to have men and women who are going straight to the point. So maybe you should do rotational dating and only be committed to a dude who wants commitment and he has a decent financial situation he's mentally stable (a lot of crazy men nowadays) and he wants to settle down.

[@kanisethorn]

I agree. My first thought when you read her story was “he doesnt like you”. Intentional dating requires strategy and giving away the whole cow without being in a relationship is a recipe for disappointment

[@Andyshotfries]

I get so annoyed when they keep bringing up divorce rates but what are the success rates for baby mama & baby daddy relationships? By the time the kid is 2, most BD & BM have already split up.

[@deebutterfly19]

He was a great guest ! I enjoyed hearing his view points. He seems like a balanced human being and that just goes to show how important fathers are in a child’s life.

[@PreciousSullivan]

I been a nanny for years so I’ve been in several households, where I learned something valuable from each! What I will say is that having a father in the home is extremely important! It’s also more than just mowing the lawn etc! They are valuable

[@theehardpill]

This conversation flowed really well.

[@jesscurrie]

She’s so opinionated, and she think fast on her toes. I love it! I would love to see her do a interview with the guy from tonight’s conversation with the glasses and the beard

[@ABGwithSass2]

If his best argument is that the dad is mowing the grass, shoveling the snow to compare every single hat that a mother does.. we already have a problem. Let’s be for real, she can pay for these services to be taken care of. Males do not keep their composure well.. ask any woman who has to deal with a upset male. Their anger and suffering isnt as silent as they think it is.

[@prettyangel0921]

Yep. I also find it funny that they think taking primary role over the child is so easy. Alright sir let's swap roles for a week and see how you feel. Nobody mows the grass or take trash out 7 days in a row. 😵‍💫

[@kdaniel806]

Exactly!! Sorry, he doesn't quite understand as much as he thinks he does. At some point, his argument becomes annoying, even though both of them are intelligent.

[@bralyntia]

I loveee when you come with the statistics😭❤️Excited for season 2! Starting stronggg

[@kanisethorn]

10 years is a long time to be unhappy. Commitment or not.

[@jasminetv8k]

Two well spoken, strong minded black individuals . I love it ❤ both of you brought good points and perspectives and I found myself seeing both sides . Loved this

[@hustlaholiday]

Dope episode. Keep up the good work.

[@MissKAllDay]

Amani you are perfection on these points and your emotional maturity shows. This guy is missing every big picture you’re painting. Wild AF. Using statistics like divorce rates to justify not marrying and assuming, like a son or daughter shouldn’t, that you know the ins and outs of your parents’ marriage.

[@warmlavender5525]

There have been studies done that show that the chores historically done by men are more infrequent and are significantly less time consuming than the ones women do. Women usually have chores that are done every day on top of childcare while things like mowing the lawn, fixing the things are once a week or once a month or even longer. That’s why it’s not the same at all.

[@prettyangel0921]

Yes! I was just commenting if taking care of kids so easy let's swap for a week.

[@adoreEsjay]

i loved having the male perspective, great episode ❤️‍🔥

[@mindingmybusiness6309]

13:30 the black family structure was in shambles at those times. What are you talking about? Have you ever heard of the poor man's report? Have you ever read the moynihan report?

[@naturallyshaq3679]

Father's need to emotionally supportive and mentally present

[@backpackmami]

Amani!!! Me and You are on the same page!!!! Keep ‘‘em comin!!!!

[@keykey4593]

Great video! I loved your guest commentary!❤

[@ToniTonyTone]

More woman are saying they don’t want kids. I have women tell me with kids. Don’t have kids.

[@searching8848]

12:40 But bm rarely get married that the problem.

[@craigg430]

See doesn't understand that value of man being in the home. Like he said, just knowing that my father is coming home was enough to straighten him up. Fathers keep son out of jail an daughters off of stripper poles. The real problem in our community is us as black men being leaders and holding each other accountable.

[@soundsaboutright---]

That's fine, you're still just there. Meanwhile she's doing the day to day things to keep the house running and functioning.

[@prettyangel0921]

I wanna see the stats on that. Please post a link to your statistics.

[@soundsaboutright---]

21:00 is he for real? Mow the grass once every weeknor two vs cooking meals and tending to kids everyday? Lmao he's admitting most men are just "there" in regards to being in the home. So even by his own words men aren't doing much in the household and women are, hence how marriage benefits men more. You can only go as far as your father? Well, most bm are constantly pointing out the fact they didn't have fathers in their home. So how would they be good fathers/husbands? Smh girl please start pulling out stats from Pew and Brookings because I'm over the guys on the shows bringing up their anecdotal experiences as though it shoild be taken as the general consensus.

[@misguidedpearls7456]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@misguidedpearls7456]

You 2 would be perfect for a podcast... Both can carry conversations well and answer great... I point that out bc not all men can answer honestly n keep their ego out.. Im shocked how well he did... Yall need to work together .. Respect to this brother. I liked both sides in this... If we had more men like him Wed be better in our community... Hes not perfect But hes got a great mind And hes open to understanding.. Proud of u both❤

[@bandkaih]

At the end of the day, Amani will be just fine based on her looks alone lol. Initially, I was taken aback by her bluntess but shes not wrong. Cant really fault her for reacting to and navigating reality to make sure she's good. I respect it

[@duanewoodson9804]

Really so . Which male do you know that is a high wage earner that is not a professional athlete that will deal with this young lady.

[@mindingmybusiness6309]

12:23 Out of the 34% of black men who do get married, over 80% (of that 34%) of black men are married to black women. Also, a disproportionate amount of black women who do get married are light skinned despite the majority of black women in America are dark skin.

[@mabel9701]

I love her 😂❤

[@misguidedpearls7456]

The first 15 mins he is on point

[@amandabrock5759]

One thing i disagree on is black ppl not having culture. We have culture, our TRADITIONS culturally are not being upheld that’s the issue. We have everything any other group has that they call culture. Our ancestors took what they could remember and passed it down and kept passing it down and changed it to work in this new land, and passed it down. America didn’t build out traditions we did. They tried and are trying to strip that from us, which is why we need to more than ever instill it in the youth. The nation that we are apart of is a subset of america, we are black/African American and we are a nation of ppl and need to learn how to come together and stand together period, but especially when injustices happen to us.

[@jaydespooner7335]

Yes, we absolutely have culture and various subcultures. For example, I am from the low country (south Georgia, Carolinas, etc.) down there you’ll find many Black ethnic groups such as the Gullah and Geechee people, all with their own languages and customs. If we’re talking overall culture, I think people forget exactly what culture is. For languages, we have AAVE; dress we have head wraps, durags, bonnets, etc; food depends on the region. When someone dies, we put them on a T-shirt. We have all kinds of dances. We have a culture.

[@caughtbytone]

@@jaydespooner7335I definitely agree that black/African Americans have established our own culture despite the systematic oppression we face. I also grew up in Georgia, but I feel like we often associate “Blackness” with the south and life in the south because places like GA, Alabama, Carolinas, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, etc are the origin for most of us as far as where we arrived in this country. You also made a great point that traditions vary regionally within !Black culture. I feel like every black person should travel throughout the US and see the places that are talked about in history books so that we can begin to solidify to a more unified, healthy culture.

[@jaydespooner7335]

@@caughtbytone All of this! It’s definitely up to us to preserve our history/cultures because we all know the powers that be are doing everything to erase it.

[@NB-nh2sf]

We have one of the most worldwide cut lures in the world. I really hate how ppl diminish black Americans like.

[@clockwork9825]

@@NB-nh2sfa lot of it is jealousy.. and a lot of us have extremely low self esteem… we don’t understand that we’re the elite blacks globally. But meanwhile a lot of us literally think we ain’t about nothing but are the most influential people on Earth. It’s weird. I’ll tell these kinda folks to move to Africa if u feel like u missing something.

[@Imeraja]

It’s very black and white !

[@mindingmybusiness6309]

11:17 black people in America are not making a better decision because the divorce rate is higher than in other communities.

[@taj-mahalwatt7276]

Men are not traditional nowadays this is true and they shouldn't ask for a traditional women..... But i hate when non traditional women want traditional treatment.

[@rikajohnson533]

Great conversation!

[@misguidedpearls7456]

Amen Parents were good but didn't want nothing out of life❤❤❤❤ Its not talked about much I love how he spoke that... Very good conversation... Not alot of men get that part.... 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥topic was fire I love her questions n topic points as always Moms usually care more weight Men are less involved in most homes Most homes I have seen men that play equal share So men r on it However that is rare Bc most women won't require it at all...........

[@NB-nh2sf]

Until I got a house and kids then i needed a woman. .oh my goodness.

[@DrWillDeyamportIII]

I would love to be a guest on your podcast. I have been married for almost 21 years.

[@ShreddyMan]

Man she’s way too young to be that bitter with those false stats. This was hard to watch

[@Stayednsane]

She said woman need to manage a man’s money lmao she sounds like a gold digger not a traditional wife

[@AmaniWortham]

Hmm so I guess going by census records and journals published within the NIH makes my stats false. Ok lol. You can research marriage records and historical records for yourself. Anytime a woman points out men’s faults, we’re bitter. Why would I be bitter about males that I don’t know? Come better next time goofy

[@ShreddyMan]

@@AmaniWortham your last statement just shows how immature you are. Stop fuelling propaganda. You paid blog pages to post your BS, from this you’ve come back to reply with pseudo confidence you got from fans who are telling you “go girl”. You’re bitter and before you realise it, it will be too late because you’d have already self-sabotaged your relationships. See you at 40.

[@ShreddyMan]

@@Stayednsane She couldn’t dig anything with a gold shovel and Google maps in her hand if she could.

[@PenelopeSnowe]

🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

[@jman1562001]

All due respect, but how you going to build a black family without children 🤔 . Your legacy and lineage is your children bruh. Accomplishments and accolades are abitrary things that society bestows. Values and teachings you instill are basically traditions so I was confused about that point. We have a culture and a tradition in black communities because they practice those things. Ime it's folks who don't day by day practice their values and teachings that tend to run into issues.

[@queene315]

I disagree, Michael jackson, Beyoncé, and whoever else, are famous and that success has nothing to do with their children. Beyoncé will have a legacy that will last decades beyond her death. Sure Ik who blue Ivey is but i couldn’t tell you the rest of beyonces children’s name. I couldn’t name a single child that Michael jackson fathered. But I will always know Michael jackson. Your legacy aren’t your children, your legacy is your ideas, your philosophy, your foundation that ppl will always remember you for years to come. That has nothing to do with your kids

[@jman1562001]

@@queene315 you know of Beyonce and MJ because of their musical gifts and the public persona, not the real person. Only there children will know that side imo. And there accomplishments and accolades are stand alone. I just disagree to the idea of having black family with no children.

[@queene315]

@@jman1562001 are there musical gifts and public personas not apart of their legacy? They will always be remembered for their music not the children they had. Not every couple wants kids, so if there are no kids they’re just a black married couple, right?

[@jman1562001]

@@queene315 I'm speaking on the average black family and perpetuating that lineage beyond just their individual lifeline not black celebrities and their accomplishments. I respect and enjoy the contributions they made, but their black identity and culture perpetuated through lineage is a black couple as you said, not really a family. Family presupposes descendants of a common ancestry. When your are a couple with no descendants from either side, how is that a black family????

[@queene315]

@@jman1562001 then it’s not a black family, it’s just a black couple who didn’t have kids.. that doesn’t make them bad people or the fault of the black community

[@kdaniel806]

MASCULINE ENERGY IS VIOLENT!! THAT'S A KNOWN FACT THROUGH HISTORY!! What is he talking about?

[@misguidedpearls7456]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@somarsomar5125]

Being a nurturer/ing is NOT a womans most valuable asset!!! Stop tying a woman's value to nurturing/ child rearing/ home caring!! STOP! Women are valuable simply for their intelligence and who they are as PEOPLE!!!!

[@beelovesfreedom]

He was spitting facts

[@aaronwormley1]

11:57 BW don't differ from BM when dating out because they chose to do so half as much. BM are twice as likely to marry or date outside their race as BW because BW are approached for dating and marriage half as much as BM are willing to date and marry out. Since marriage is the only truly quantifiable metric, if bm marry out twice as much as BW, it is because more BM have gotten a yes from potentially adequate wifes than bw have gotten proposals from potentially adequate husbands.

[@ri3706]

Every woman should read “Why Men Love Bitches.” Also, I loved the part of this convo about how women do not benefit more from marriage. He’s saying that for 3 years, a woman has likely taken off from her job, to give birth and be a stay at home mom and after 3 years, the kids go to school. This idea is negligent of the fact that she cannot just get up and re-enter the workforce. Lol She exited the workforce and was gone for THREE YEARS, is black, AND a woman. She wasn’t taking 3 years gaining skills. She sacrificed that for the man. We just need to go back to the days of broke men not being able to marry, and wealthy men hoarding all the good women.

[@mhondreezziiee]

Hiphop culture for real😢😢😢thats why yall be dating for years and stringing along the girls your dating lol

[@tariib3955]

Who is terry? 0:22

[@soundsaboutright---]

31:54 very little of what you said around marriage being of greater benefit to women was illogical. Masculine energy is aggression. Hence why men talk about "running a fade". Im confused why the more logical species is struggling in the education world.

[@prettyangel0921]

I'm assuming it's cuz they are too logical for school. School is beneath them. 😂

[@mindingmybusiness6309]

13:12 sis, stop giving these men an out

[@moniquem1873]

❤❤

[@Lv3Lv3]

Overall, great episode. Amani is smart but I wished that more of her information was based on research instead of what it looks like. Ex from the show, black men and interracial marriage or having a “good father,”not really understanding that masculinity can be presented in males and females. Just generalizing instead of hard facts. The guy started off annoying but he used facts so he was able to stump her a couple of times. But all in all I liked the episode and wish her nothing but success. I know she will be great!

[@AmaniWortham]

A lot of what I say is backed by stats. When I talk about the small number of marriageable black men, that’s factual. Back by simple census records. When I say black women marry interracially more successfully, that’s backed by stats.

[@Markelark247]

@@AmaniWorthamwhat’s the definition of a marriageable black ?

[@TWINJULIO29]

Lmao I smell bullshit you have no stats foh

[@kelenaffqnklin]

@@Markelark247don’t play dumb you know exactly what she meant

[@PenelopeSnowe]

THIS MAN SAID HE GOT MARRIED BECAUSE HE WAS HOMELESS LAWD 🫢

[@Markelark247]

This the first time I agreed with the female more in a relationship debate

[@soundsaboutright---]

Female? Woman

[@Dr.Beetlejuice110]

28:48 i just think that its impossible to be happy these days. Maam, you advocate for provider men in an economy where it takes two incomes minimimly to provide a home and comfortable needs. The man does not have time to be at home around the kids all the time. Maybe top 10 percent of college educated black men can. They usually work in tech and can work from home. Maybe some engineers who work in some industries that allow them to work from home. But most cant be there all the time. They are too busy providing. Thats why they want stay at home wives that think like them, have rhe same values etc so they can raise the kids with the values they want. We cant be at two places at once. The thing about tech men and people that are top 10 percent but dont own businesses and work for their money. They are nerds, they have 0 to little rizz because they spent all of their time studying and working to get where they are. If you want men that balance work and home life you might have to help with that by working or setting that on a minimum 150 thousand budget. Be happy that hes doing his best and hes a good earner and you work and you both plan and arrange being home with the kids. At least with this lifestyle you have a chance of having a both present home lifestyle.

[@soundsaboutright---]

Most women work full time while also doing the majority of the child rearing duties. It's interesting that you think a woman should work full-time to help carry the financial load. But you don't think a man in turn. Should they contribute more around the house to take some off of her plate. Having a job does not absolve you of raising your children. Stuff like this is why marriage benefits men more than women on average. Women are truly helpmates and men rarely reciprocate.

[@soundsaboutright---]

@8000lah @8000lah I said "most", because as you pointed out most men aren't providers, ESPECIALLY if we talk about bm. Outside of so called tradition I would assume most women want a provider because if they looked at the data or saw the reality. It's sad, but if it isn't financial most men aren't pulling their weight. Why have a "partner" to still work 40 hrs a week and do the majority of housework?

[@soundsaboutright---]

@8000lah they're out there, they just aren't the norm statistically. I'm not even hating on people for going 50/50. For most people that's just the reality. Men are very logical on this topic. When it comes down to "she's working 40 hrs just like me, let me contribute around the house just like her" the logic goes out the door. It's crickets. Hell, dude in the video was essentially saying just the man's essence in the house was an equitable contribution. I think the mindset of "I work so that's enough"-while disregarding the fact their woman works too-is why women are more likely to file for divorce. It's also part of the reason married men are the happiest while childless single women are the happiest amongst women.

[@soundsaboutright---]

@@Dr.Beetlejuice110 I agree, this seems to be the way men are though

[@jirehreid8213]

LOVE THIS CONVERSATION, I don’t think HE was the best person for this conversation though! ❤❤

[@twizobuckley]

Y'ALL BELIEVE getting married is the pinnacle of Love😂 What about that Woman knowing for certain she's going to be a Good Woman to this man for Life 🤔What about that Man knowing for certain that woman is worth it to settle down with... It's many factors to really settling down and Y'all Female's act as if a Brown Man should make his Life Changing decision of being married because y'all are programmed to😂 LIFE doesn't stop if that Woman and Man doesn't get married and decide to just be together out of the Trust and Love they have for each other...I see marriage as a way of a Females bragging about her being married than actually being in Love with a Man that treats her like his Everything... Y'all Female's talk so much of what Brown Men don't do when it comes to commitment But Brown Female's divorce their Husbands at a high rate😂... Y'all don't wanna be Married for Love, it's just a GOAL y'all want and just need to achieve at least One time

[@ohhweeeee]

THE GOAL IS LOVE BUT IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU MAKE PROVISION FOR THEM. A MARRIAGE CONTRACT GUARANTEES A TRANSFER OF ANY WEALTH WHEN YOU DIE BEFORE ANY OTHER CONTRACT. TO ME BLACK MEN HAVE BEEN DECIEVED INTO THINKING THERES SOMETHING TO LOSE IF THEY MARRY WHEN REALLY YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO GAIN. MOST BLACK MEN EVEN EARN MORE STATISTICALLY WHEN MARRIED. MOST WILL REGRET IT WHEN THERE 50+ ROAMING AROUND UNMARRIED, NO FAMILY, NO REAL RESPECT FROM OTHERS .

[@duanewoodson9804]

We have traditions. I do not know about you. Colin Powell knew what tradition was from his parents and grandparents. I feel sorry for you. Ask Spike Lee what is black American tradition ?

[@carynking3323]

Hi please plug me ❤your top Amani

[@clockwork9825]

What is he talking about?? Black Americans are “AMERICAN”.. that’s our nation. The nation that people will risk their lives to get to.. these other peoples cultures don’t benefit them in their homelands..

[@Lisacarlton-vo8ge]

I loveddd this episode. He had alot of valid points! She need to come up with better questions /responses he was eating her up 😫

[@TheCuriousCat1253]

Why are bringing race every time you talk girl there lot of other race women also suffering from this kind of situation

[@PenelopeSnowe]

🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅