Amazing first date… so, why are they pulling away?

Your first date was amazing; attraction, chemistry, excitement, and comfort. Just when you feel like you finally hit the jackpot, they slowly pull away. Here’s what’s happening and what you can do about it.
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[@tfh5575]

I learned not to get too excited. If I find myself getting too excited, I intentionally detach. People can be very charming!

[@LucySoo1]

Very good advice!! I’ve definitely made the mistake of being reeled in by the ‘future fakers’ after a great first date

[@xiris6848]

Facts

[@pakistani8907]

Im defintely embodying this advice…i needed to hear this 💯

[@ParisTNT]

Yes, super agree

[@TitanicConcerts]

The reverse is also true: Some people who don’t make a strong first impression turn out to be great partners.

[@StellaStellaria]

So true!

[@twinsoul1137]

Absolutely!

[@SusanWinter]

Correct

[@babyfish1083]

Harry from Sex and the City came to my mind.

[@tcchip]

I find that if someone is too focused on making or getting a strong first impression, then they're most likely the ones who can't sustain it. Using Susan's example, these people are looking for a show. They put on a great show, and they want great showmanship in return. But when it's time to take off the masks and makeup, they know there's very little inside, so they just use the excuse that you're not exciting enough for them.

[@sm1995]

This happens so much these days, even after 2-4 dates. I think online dating has created an environment where men (sorry to call you out, realize women do this too) constantly have their heads pivoting to the next shiny object and lack focus on what’s in front of them. For those of us looking for a real connection, this constant rejection cycle is extremely exhausting. I genuinely wish that the instant gratification served up by our phones would exit the dating world- it’s ruining real relationships.

[@jasonweaver7598]

Best comment! The constant rejection cycle is not only exhausting, but can also affect one’s confidence and self-esteem. You’re absolutely right that today’s culture (thanks to social media) has made it incredibly difficult to be in a relationship. It’s not fair, and needs to be addressed immediately.

[@theotherside3013]

Read my comment! Women do it too! I’ve been ghosted & surprised after a great date that we even kissed & was such a great night, I just don’t get it! But Suzanne is great in explaining it

[@Phoenix-pm2qr]

Women do this way more often. The average guy gets a few matches a week, if that. Women gets hundreds. They really have the pick of the litter, and always seem ready to try someone else

[@Misagonna88]

Extremely well said

[@davidraymondo6214]

Most women have absolutely no clue about men’s dating experience. When they say men constantly have their heads turned they are wrong. Unless the guy is a male model the average guy has say 10x less options or matches compared to the average female. Women have all the choice while men will settle for a date with one of the very few who will respond to their message

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Ladies...if he doesn't ask for another date after the Date. He's not that interested. But...not your problem. Next!

[@orubek355]

👌👌👌👌

[@jefftan8024]

I'm a man. Your answer is correct.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@@jefftan8024 Thanks 👌

[@t.solomon30]

I would expect the woman to ask for a 2nd date cause I‘m pretty shure the man has asked for the first date and also did text you first. Men have options too, otherwise we can not have an equal and healthy relationship..

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

@@t.solomon30 Do you think Women should COURT and Pursue you too?? Well. Not on this Planet. A Man should NEVER expect or want a Woman to ask for the second date.

[@MyMARI3]

this happened to me lol... we had two great dates and then he disappeared pretty much. But, months later--i am happy it didn't work out. God knows what's best! I can honestly say he wasn't my type.

[@SusanWinter]

good for you Mery

[@Lanestunes123]

This is why I am taking a good break from dating hell.

[@princesstiffanynews]

Lol it is hell 😂

[@littleman787]

@@princesstiffanynews why? You're presumably a woman and so have 100s of guys after you.

[@Lostrislostris00]

👌👌👌

[@frogturtle]

I know that this can feel bad, but the good news is that each person can now find someone better suited for them in the future, and minimal time was wasted.

[@SusanWinter]

Great attitude, and right on the money!

[@zenmaiden1]

I’ve had this happen a couple times and it’s disconcerting. I guess we will never know for sure . You’re right some people can’t sustain and perhaps they were seeing if you were available for a quickie( without being direct about it ) and when they saw you weren’t going for it and just being real showing they weren’t into the idea of a real true connection with me bottom line

[@SusanWinter]

Hello dear one!! So happy to read your commentary, ZenMaiden

[@twinsoul1137]

Exactly! 👏🏻

[@spiritual_empath2168]

It's called being dishonest and or dis-inguine..

[@hyunbinsdimple5803]

This happened to me. I never saw it coming, but it was so bad that the guy even bought a new mattress 😂

[@livealifeIRL]

This happened to me recently, best date of my life, and then when I followed up he wanted to be 'friends' but didn't really like me romantically. We tried to be friends and his mixed messaging was off the charts, oh I don't like you romantically...shall we go here on our next date, etc. etc. I cut him loose ultimately because he'll never be who I need him to be, and I think of him in the same way I'd think of some fascinating person I sat next to on a plane one time....a lovely interaction with a beginning and an end. The right ones feel it too guys!

[@m4rtin809]

I went on a date with this girl from Tinder, we didn't chat much at all before deciding to meet up, so I had no real expectations. We met at a café and we really hit it off from the start. We were laughing and having fun. We got into deep discussions and discovered several common interests and values. On my way home I had that feeling of being inspired, hopeful, and really happy I went on the date. As soon as I came home, I texted her to tell her I enjoyed our date and to see that she got home all right. I also asked if she wanted to go visit one of the museums we talked about on the date. This all happened this very afternoon. It's now been 3 hours since I texted and no reply... it's a real punch in the gut. Straight up rejection is one thing, but this is the worst.

[@2009Andersen]

3 hours. Come on. You cant see it??

[@garydurso8475]

Don’t ask a girl out again that fast … wait about 48 hours and call her

[@TheMinimumPC]

That’s some highschool level nonsense. Who tf has the time to overthink and set timers and stuff for this shit? If the other person is so immature that they can’t handle a normal human conversation in real time. They’re not worth it

[@igatti9923]

It seems like a world of cardboards walking around and pretending to be alive. It's scary. Fortunately I never experienced this situation.

[@SusanWinter]

Goot for you

[@RG-hf4et]

You are lucky. I have been through this a few times. Not fun.

[@JCL-eb9ir]

YES!!! I have been using Law of Attraction and I actually manifested and therefore attracted an experience that excited, invigorated and enticed me! I am about to exit the thrashing period and thanks to your videos AS ALWAYS I’ve come to a conclusion. Sometimes the Universe wants you to have a certain experience that shows you the feeling you want to have - just a temporary object of be it affection/lust/thrill - but the emotions are what count and the fact that you accessed the emotion is what you want - NOT the person. The most beautiful thing that Susan ever taught me was those feelings are all mine. And what amazing feelings they are. I love myself so much. 💜

[@SusanWinter]

Beautifully stated

[@GalacticWoman]

You 've had an amazing 3 hour relationship;)

[@candygirl1990]

Just got dumped after first date. He said he thought i was ugly, and didn't want to be around me because im going for cancer test next week. Im so hurt i thought he liked me. Guess i got it all wrong ❤❤

[@tulinbeyduz920]

I was dating someone For 5 weeks .. he said I was amazing and thought we had a lovely connection, bla bla , then he ghosted 👻 me .. never to be heard from . I deleted his number so I wouldn’t call him out of desperation..

[@fantasiazplatkami]

it s good idea to delete someone not to be tempted when feeling low

[@Eva-rb6ug]

Susan, this is so on point and so true. I always tell my friend to avoid talking negative stuff on date and mentioning ex or being perceived too opinionated. If the date didnt go well, perhaps your performance wasnt as good as you think and there is something to be learned. You should have fun on date and talk good positive stuff, show how interesting your life is etc.(be cool and dont reveal that much).

[@migati]

Susan, you're so smart, thoughtful, down to earth, on point and loving - thank you so much!

[@SusanWinter]

What a lovely comment. Thank you so much and I do appreciate it

[@babss2285]

I had an amazing first day mobile number kiss goodbye and then FLATLINE.......... Found out he was MARRIED!!!

[@SusanWinter]

Omg!! Yes. It happens. (At least you know why he didn’t follow through)

[@babss2285]

@@SusanWinter follow through? I think he did, he popped his pants and i feel for his wife in fact anyone who calls him a friend!

[@seymourelykeley]

still doesn’t change the fact he wasn’t interested in you. Face the truth

[@outersp8ce]

this happened to me last week and I was super upset and this showed up on my recommended!! just what I needed to see I feel better about it already :)

[@markcoopersmith2280]

Let me explain...When I go out (and I AM looking to remarry) I go out to have fun. So I'm pleasant, laugh, show my date a good time. I'm relaxed affable and comfortable, whether I'll want to see her again or not. Sometimes she's not my type. Thhat's why we date, to find the right one.

[@ivy3839]

Susan thank you , such a beautiful explanation. I had experience when someone auditioned for 2 months ... well it was a Hollywood performance based on empty words ... that’s it . Had to call the guy out .

[@SusanWinter]

Wow... Hollywood based performance. But he lost out (you were the Oscar).

[@ivy3839]

Susan Winter yes , agreed well put :-) it was pure and intense love bombing , via video calls , calls , chats , pictures , future faking . ( it happened when we all were in lock dawn ) .

[@PossumLover1111]

That blouse is the best ever! Looks so incredible on you!!!!!

[@kathyrcorbin]

This explains a date I just went on last night! I could tell the guy was putting on almost like a show. We had fun and chemistry but things just didn’t feel right. I felt like he was love bombing me and would never follow through on anything he promised. He said he wanted to go out again but was secretly hoping he wouldn’t follow through and sure enough he didn’t. I could tell by how much he was trying to sell himself that he was toxic.

[@davidcasillas285]

Thanks Susan! You've hit a great topic question. I've been here, and yes, it's a head scratcher. In the end, they wound up doing me a favor. Often, it's best to move on..thanks again. You're the BEST!

[@SusanWinter]

DAVID!! Hello dear man. Thanks for your wonderful comment and thank you for your support and participation across all of my channels.

[@woody71692]

First date. I’m in the clouds. Stars and fairies. We cuddled, kissed non stop, cuddles, dinner, movie, blanket, the works. It was very calm. Sameness and rhythm were there. It’s the feel of the “you know when you know”.. next day, conversation is carried. But anxiety follows. Why? Something is off in my gut. My gut says she is going to abort it. Why do I feel like I’m going to mess it up, or she’s going to end it if it was so good ?? I’m going to back off and use no contact to see if I create attraction.

[@Diabeteslovewithdee]

Susan, I have been following you for a while. And you are just absolutely amazing! Thank you for sharing your insights and gifts 🎁. You are truly the best. I love your authenticity and very down to earth common sense dating advice. Please keep doing what you do. Sending you huge hugs and love over the wire.

[@SusanWinter]

Sending hugs right back at you!!

[@buckeyefan635]

Wow, this was a great explanation - brilliant honestly. I am very confident, and outgoing. I have rarely had a bad date, but many great ones where I felt a big let down that there was no follow-up.

[@RG-hf4et]

I liked the movie trailer comparison. Thanks, Susan. It really makes sense.

[@SusanWinter]

😊

[@2009Andersen]

No. You cannot know after 1 date. Non of you know anything for sure unless you could not talk together. A 1st date is a first date. Get to know the other person by sharing time together if you like them

[@PorcelainLeigh]

If these people are this "rehearsed" at a 1st dates and still single? There's a damn good reason. Be happy, not sad, you got the "ghost."

[@sarahhey8654]

Just call them out on it before it happens. At the end of the first date, say "I'm not imagining it, but we both had a really great time! Let's plan to do this again! Be in touch and let's keep our word!"

[@seymourelykeley]

sounds desperate and shows you’ve had many first dates with no seconds

[@sarahhey8654]

@@seymourelykeley My boyfriend would say otherwise lol. Your reply shows your projection mindset of desperation and lack of second dates instead of successful raw chemistry and attraction :)

[@seymourelykeley]

Sarah Hey you and your bf are both wrong and delusional. Birds of a feather... a confident self assured person with an attitude of abundance is simply not concerned in the least whether or not they will call again, as he knows his own self worth and desirability. He will never be worried or dependent on one person for he knows what he brings to the table and that those who will appreciate and desire him are many.

[@sarahhey8654]

@@Stranger_In_The_Alps A good person would not misinterpret wanting to setup another date 😘

[@sarahhey8654]

@@seymourelykeley Enjoy your trolling. Hahaha 😂

[@alexandramaria7754]

My dear Susan, I love the way you put these topics and how you explain it. When we feel we hit the jackpot, it's because, in reality, we are ready to start a relationship. Unfortunately, I would say that for women and men who want a relationship and are in their middle thirties, we have to be resilient and not blame ourselves, trying to find reasons why it didn't work out. As you said many times in your presentations and I share the same opinion, people can be whimsical and go out with you while having other people waiting on the wings. Be who you are, and remember, you are amazing. And you deserve the best in all areas of your life, including love. I wish you a wonderful week, dear Susan. Alexandra

[@SusanWinter]

Oh my goodness Alexandra, I really appreciate all your commentary. Simply brilliant. Thank you for being a part of my KZbin family

[@hannaschneider647]

I experienced it one time, we had 3 awesome dates and he was the one who put romantic music on etc etc, and then suddenly he dated another woman too. I was like completely shocked and it hurt me so much. After a hard break up, I gave him the chance to get to know me. I was double disappointed!!

[@SusanWinter]

I’m sorry for your experience. He sounded very good at what he does repeatedly, and with many others

[@hannaschneider647]

@@SusanWinter thank you dear Susan for your response, it means a lot!! I love your thoughts 💕❤️

[@t.solomon30]

Sorry for that Hanna but from a mens perspective let me explain it. If there is a man who is only focusing on you, you would get turned off because that feels needy. By dating 2-3 woman at the same time, you can give the woman the amount of attention you should give a person to keep them interested without pushing them away. With time we get a sense which woman is the most perfect for us and then we start focusing more on them. If you should be that lucky woman there is a good chance that he will not cheat on you, because he choosed you while he had options. All the best!

[@hannaschneider647]

Yes, nowadays some men do it and sleep with several women, that's true but not everyone is luckily like that

[@beautylife310]

This is so on point, really explained what happened to me. Yes, that was a perfect trailer, and a trailer only. Thanks so much, you are wonderful, all advices are helpful. Love your channel :)

[@meditationavecmaryse7293]

Amazing, amazing, amazing......so simply and intelligently said!!! I'll remerber this segment!!! Thank you Susan 😘🙏💕

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you

[@ameyatulpule5977]

Pearls of Wisdom, as always. Your videos always help me. :) Thanks.

[@ParisTNT]

Wow Susan! I never heard this audition analogy before. It makes so much sense! Thank you ♥️ helps a lot with the mindf*cks 😉

[@rickki6]

its just not fair.

[@lunabella8944]

I am that person who gave people the "great date", and pulling away. There are a few personal reasons from my perspective. 1. I went on a date without any expectations, to treat my date as a friend. 2. I realise that from the first 10 mins when I met him in person, that he is not my type, but I need to act as much friendly as I can. means treat them as a good friend. (guilt feeling). 3. My emotions trigger me all the time, if I don't feel any sparks in the first 30 mins, I will hold back my emotions, but still, act as I enjoy the conversation, because I don't want to be rude. 4. basically, no expectations, get on a date as meet a new friend, I need to fully control all the way and to hold my emotions in order to protect myself. But, don't want to be rude to them. so... I gave them a false experience... (sorry)

[@kristenmoonrise]

Thanks for your perspective. Question: what happens when you're asked on another date before the one you're on ends? Do you agree to another date and ghost, or are you honest and say 'no', or 'maybe', or 'I'll let you know'? Thanks!

[@RG-hf4et]

First of all, nobody goes on a date "to make friends". Come on!! If you are not feeling it in the first 30 minutes, then cut the date short & make an excuse to leave. Or limit yourself to ONE coffee or ONE drink. Anything more than that is just playing with people. Smh......

[@lunabella8944]

@@kristenmoonrise hey. I don't go for another date, and usually don't ghost. If they ask, I will just respond very short or very late to give a signal or hint that I am not interested. Or, if they keep texting, I will be honest.

[@lunabella8944]

@@RG-hf4et I did "limit yourself to ONE coffee or ONE drink" ! and sorry I am the one goes on a date to make friend, everyone is different. come on! who you are speaking to tell me we can't go on a date to make friend.?

[@RG-hf4et]

@@lunabella8944 People like you are players. If you want to make "friends", you volunteer, you join a yoga class or a hiking group, you do things with other people, etc.That is how people make "friends"......A "one on one" date with a person of the opposite sex is to see if their is a connection or a spark is a date....There is no guy on the planet looking to "make friends" with you or any other female. A friendship may come out of it but that is rare, too. Do you tell these unsuspecting guys "I will meet you bc I am looking to make lots of friends with men?" ....Probably not. If you said that upfront, no guy with half a brain would meet you......That makes you a player. You sort through guys then play this Miss Innocent, "Ohhh, geez, I am only looking for friendship". ....Bull......If I was a guy & a female or had that attitude walking in, your name & phone number would be history in a flash whether he liked you or not. You are the epitome of a player. Sorry, sweetie, I tell it like it is.

[@neonpop80]

How does it help us to take the burden of self analysis away and gratify our ego in blaming them for being shallow? Perhaps the truth is they wanted to have a good night with someone and they were truly enjoying themselves but they didn’t want to get involved emotionally with you for physical or emotional reasons. And perhaps they were talking to someone else too which then they either prefer or feel guilty being entangled. Them being shallow removes the responsibility of us learning about ourselves

[@vczaban7876]

Amazing makes absolute sense!! Strong self confidence girls!!! 🦋🌸🙏🏼

[@farkinarkin5099]

Hi Susan, Firstly, let me say, if I have not already, you are one of the few date-oligists that actually get it. Really. There are a lot of flakes out there who just do not understand the dynamics (or are not telling the truth about it). Now, onto my comment for the viewing audience… …1… *”Not as advertised”.* Right on. A big problem these days is that people put so much emphasis on the initial interview, er, date, that they have a song-and-dance that they just cannot fulfill. From my sales experience, you will often get that impression from potential clients (yes, clients are as much trying to sell themselves as they you are trying to sell to them). When things are fitting too well together, you will sense that the meeting is more for the sake of the meeting than for future “business”. In the sales scenario, the client does not want to feel they are wasting your time and money (hey, lunch at a swanky restaurant isn’t cheap and you have to justify your budget) so they will talk up a storm about their own plans and how well things will work between the two of you. You will get a sense of B.S. there things are just too fluid. In time, you learn to see this early. Sure, in a business scenario, it is easier to get over. When your heart is at stake, your heart is on a stake. However, it is still the case: The person sitting across the table was trying to make it as pleasant for both parties, and often they feel they cannot live up to the hype (often they really cannot). Listen to your heart, but use your brains to do the rest. +++ …2… *But, what if I still see potential*. Not a problem. Just be straight forward. At the risk of sounding jaded (oh, heck, I’m jaded  ), a lot of people cannot live up to their own hype. Continue to be approachable. Don’t call anyone out for being a bit too caught up in the game (people can get defensive and that is surefire way to lose all future “sales”). Just make it easy to meet up again. You yourself may also have come off as too good to be true (even if you are even better than advertised) and that can be totally intimidating. We often intimidate people without realizing it. I lost very few interviews or contract negotiations in business. In dating, it should be no different (although my challenge in dating is getting to the “short” list… when you are “short”). However, that is the Internet. In real life, I use my advantages to the max. Don’t be discouraged by the “pull back”. It is all part of the dance. +++

[@johncarlolicon331]

Hi Susan , we love you so much, thanks for inspiring us. Love from 🇵🇭 and 🇹🇭 ❤️❤️❤️

[@SusanWinter]

Sending the love right back at you, John!!

[@johncarlolicon331]

My friend Praew from 🇹🇭 , she’s the one who shared your video to me and we really love your inspirational talks and advices. God Bless and more power to you mam!

[@SusanWinter]

John Carlo Licon Please tell your friend thank you for me. And so happy you were sent my way

[@lyndamcmullen9410]

What happened. It didn’t work out. Thanks Susan ♥️

[@michaelmorris9192]

Hi Susan, new subscriber here, I absolutely love your videos been binge watching for the last few days. I’m hooked!!❤️❤️

[@SusanWinter]

Yay! Michael, I’m happy to have you here. I hope you get a lot of information that you like and that makes you feel strong and centered

[@zenmaiden1]

Susan great topic and that color is amazing !

[@SusanWinter]

Hugs to you Zen Maiden

[@lrkegitz-johansen8111]

Great video - Thank you so much!! After being ghosted your video was healing to me.

[@DTHRILLS.DANIEL.THRILLRIDETV]

She Pursued me ... took her on a date she expressed how no one was ever made her nervous that im so sexy kissing hugging i visit her at work kissing hugging told me so much to talk about getting to know each other flirty dirty talk then pulled back ...... i did the same for a day didnt say good night then she texted a bit more i visited her yesterday kissed hugged grabbed she said text me i didn't i want to hang out more. Not another man because she posted a gift i gave her ..... never experienced this. Said shes ao drawn to me. Stsnds me up when she says shes coming by says shes tired or oh tomorrow . Weirdxoxoalyb

[@marieh2106]

I had this happen to me a week ago. A great first date where we talked for four hours straight and there was no awkwardness at all. The day after he let me know that he had a lot of fun and that he thought of me while watching a movie. But then our private communication ended. We follow each other on a social media and he likes everything I post, comments a lot and even jumps in in conversations I have with other people. I’m so confused.

[@hannaschneider647]

I would take a step back now and not posting so much on social media. Then he has to start your private communication again if he is really really interested, if not replace him

[@90blacknight]

Sounds like he's keeping you on the back burner. Stop responding to him.

[@marieh2106]

90blacknight Already have. ☺️

[@marieh2106]

Hanna Schneider Thank you for your response. I decided to move on, no point in wasting time on him.

[@hannaschneider647]

@@marieh2106 I know how difficult it can be sometimes, I often experienced we should move on if it gets too complicated, it's often never a good sign or even a red flag. I am wishing you the very best!!

[@ytclaire2007]

So amazing how you put that, thank you Susan!

[@ramayan5186]

I am Indian conservative and what happens with me is that most of the woman i meet are feminist then I start to run from them as far as possible.

[@Italialissa]

Good, at least they don't have to deal with you :)

[@ramayan5186]

@@Italialissa yeah you hate conservative during your youth and want them during decline of your looks. Great deal. Lol.

[@scubasteve7283]

@@ramayan5186 Nope.

[@KO-im6sm]

Give up your need to control woman..

[@ramayan5186]

But law is putting control of man in wahmen's hand by child support, alimony, grap charges lol. Free men from wahmens control lol

[@ningjing1113]

people can treat you well no matter what for a few hours on a date, that's just being polite.

[@camillejones6816]

You are so right! This is how I interpreted it too. This guy was so sweet to me but maybe he was just being polite . Ghosted me right after.

[@DiscoveryWonders]

Beautiful just beautiful. This color is so amazing on you. Gorgeous.

[@daylilyspirit]

One of the best advice ever!

[@theotherside3013]

Gosh you lovely lady amaze me always. I had a cute girl matched, we chatted for like few weeks & she was busy, finally we met, all seemed great. Long texts and all. Date was great. We hopped onto three bars the same night, hold hands, so good that I asked for the kiss and we kissed. Hopped to another pub, got uber, kissed before she left again. She asked me to text her when I get home. We texted a little, she suggested a few days later to meet again. Next morning no response! A couple days passed a got a couple cold replies, finally Sunday arrives, I texted Id we’re meeting. 5hrs later she texts, sorry, it’s not the connection Im looking for!! I really really was shocked! But you Suzanne as always have helped me see a different perspective. People Suzanne is really good 😊 thank you

[@isabellanl1376]

Right on time ♥️ thank you so much 🤗

[@SusanWinter]

I love it when that happens

[@laet123ify]

So insightful, thank you

[@Lqlqllq143]

Thanks for this video! I had a great date he even asked for second date. Now the day comes and he hasn't even acknowledge the second date. I saw him online hanging out, now i'm not interested anymore. I just don't understand why act this way. Im just going to distance myself and move on.

[@maryamzizi13]

I love your videos Susan! 😊😊

[@SusanWinter]

Hi there Maryam. How are you today?? Thanks for being part of my YT family!!

[@pam164]

This has happened to me i suppose it means they did not like me lol

[@SusanWinter]

That’s a little harsh to on yourself.

[@SusanWinter]

It just wasn’t the right person

[@VenusVoice]

People can be so evil

[@toscadonna]

If I could do it all over again, I’d never have gone on any dates, never would have gotten married, and would have avoided men altogether for my entire life. Not one of them ever meant even one word he ever said. Men can keep their audition reels to themselves and go project their fantasies onto someone else.

[@011Gitanita]

What a great advice !! Thank you :)

[@lindazeisky3845]

Great way to look at it. 👍🏻💚

[@bertzerker747]

The relationship/date is not how we present ourself but to be over the times we provide lots of recollection in order. There's a magnificence (not a mistrust). We are open to any thrill in tantilzation which can bring us. It's like a grade four social studies project that we must bring forth as a presentation. People on dates need to remind themself that they liked you in the first place. But realistically they might like someone else more. Tantalizing as a stale seafood basket or atleast as bland as the tartere sauce that tastes like it's out of the can.. The appology lies 2000 leagues under the sea, but still the casting bubbles make way to the surface. That's when it's time to return home. No coffee because the milk in the fridge has soured. Simple as black and white not infrared...

[@jsts22]

Had a good first date, even took her back to my place and we hooked up. Next morning I walk her to her car and we makeout, she keeps kissing me when I slightly pulled away. She texts me when she gets home and we have a few messages back and fourth. She is going out of town for the weekend. I shoot her a text 3 days later when she is back and she takes over 24 hours to respond. I send her another text asking her out for that weekend and she takes over another 24 hours to respond and she says she is busy all weekend doing this and this. I dont respond and now there has been radio silence for the last couple weeks. All I can think of is another guy came back into the picture, maybe even on that weekend trip.

[@Valkyri3Z]

Recently had this terrible experience. Amazing date , we kissed at the end.. discussed about plans to meet again for several days after ..and then suddenly unmatched . Left wondering what happened.

[@nicosmakris2596]

Hi Susan. Huge fan of yours and thank you for giving us so much insight into dating and helping us unravel all the crap out there. I was wondering if you can talk a little about meeting a psychopath - I had a bad experience a while ago and it’s affecting me today. Would love to hear your views on this. Much love..Nicos in a London UK.

[@cldlstepi2375]

Nice video Susan, indeed. In my situation, I have had a nice first date, I invited her into a café and there was a good flow of conversation, we were laughing but there was no physical contact. Anyway, it was pretty fine. However, I invited her for a walk next time and that day she seemed a bit different from the start. I was trying to make her laugh but she acted very differently. I also spotted from the non-verbal conversation she isn't enjoying time with me. What could happen? Please help me

[@gefleigh4264]

Susan. Please do a advice post, to explore dating a widow lady, whereby you are compared to the dead husband,! who in death has become a Saint! and in her memory never transgressed,! and in real time you are never going to compair, !!and in honesty , would you want too be?Geffersxxx.

[@samuelpaulmcclean9910]

Hi Susan, I can’t help but feel I have been on both sides of this coin. I am an awake and self-actualized person yet sometimes after a great first date I don’t feel inspired to go further. I try to be respectful of people and their feelings and not completely disappear, but if I don’t want a 2nd date then isn’t that my free will and not a sign that my movie is a fizzle? What would you advise for those who feel the same?

[@Phoenix-pm2qr]

Exactly. She misses the point that more times than not, the other person wasn't really into you and you need to work on yourself.

[@earlallnutt]

Thank you Susan. Please explain more as to why most woman do this. I really don't understand how someone can give you the best trailer at a first date. All the woman I have gone on dates with have done this to me countless times. Why can't these woman just be honest on the first date and tell a man if their not into him. I think it's because most woman are cowards and would rather ghost a man. The media has brainwashed woman into thinking they can get any man. Woman in my opinion love the attention and they don't really want relationships anymore - why would a strong independent woman want a man?

[@spiritual_empath2168]

I dont get why a person has to do all this garbage just to date a women. I think dating now days is pointless. Love should'nt be based on head games ppl need to grow up and stop acting childish..Smh..🤷

[@MohamedKamal-dv5po]

Hope you are fine Ms.profrssional Susan ❤️

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Mohamed. I'm fine. Hope you are as well

[@MohamedKamal-dv5po]

@@SusanWinter I'm extremely fine since I start do what I couldn't do before watching these psychology instructions about the dynamics of healthy relationship, as you are informing us on continuously basis prof.susan seriously grateful.❤️🏆

[@2903kiran]

Love u for this

[@scorpiochic2]

OMG that explains it!!

[@merrickcampbell4303]

Thanks so much

[@never2late362]

Love this !!!! 😆

[@TheMinimumPC]

Literally every woman on tinder

[@lokeshmalik744]

I experienced it couple of days back . So what I understand is they knew they are not good enough so they withdraw?

[@paulchambers8033]

I'm an independent, tall, slim, healthy and clean 49 year old single white male whose got his "shit" sorted and wants a girlfriend! So why am I single? Two reasons... I have trust issue's....... and am the worlds worst first date ! I've tried being 'me', I've tried being confident! I've tried being generous! I've tried being sensitive! I've tried being ambitious....... I think arranged marriage's may be the way forward! My parents would have made better choices!

[@KO-im6sm]

Get a friend to give you feedback. Be open to it

[@cathymullane4451]

I think the trying is the problem. Btw lm a "trier too" so not a judgement. When we try too hard its not coming from a place of authenticity its coming from our mind dictating what we think is the right thing but the intention is not real then. The intention is coming from a place of fear of not being what we think the person wants or is looking for. Being real is always real confidence especially when your nervous or awkward and acknowledge it with the person because it displays emotion and not the facade of trying not to be nervous. I hope this makes sense to someone other than myself :)

[@sugarkiddo0385]

He was on his phone and I couldn't say a thing so yeah

[@CJ-ft9yo]

..but why does this happen ? It’s happened quite a few times, and I don’t get it. You drive away, feeling warm and happy, all of a sudden you feel a sense of utter dread and left reality behind briefly and you forgot how this usually pans out, the usual flaky fake male behaviour and nice words, sure enough no follow up texts. One was married and my instincts was to use another phone to expose him. This one last night I said I was stranded on the way home.. a perfunctory “oh no” an hour later. Before the date 20 texts! I don’t enjoy my trust issues but how else can I get through the sick making dating game ? They seem to be overexcited initially and I have a theory that they’ve created this person from their imagination that you don’t fit. Where it should be “ no expectation no judgement”… He loved my company and our conversation, but I’m 60 now. It’s simple really, I should just let it go.

[@youniverse_astrotarot]

I love you mam❤️

[@SimbaAliaye]

He was a good Trailer. Lol

[@MmMm-my4vy]

Hello

[@jomo8209]

Sure. It’s the guy’s fault. Maybe he’s just too polite to tell you what a loser you are. It’s time for females to be accountable for being unappealing, blown out wrecks.

[@lenap8127]

It’s never polite to ghost. He could have dropped a polite text that he didnt feel the connection.

[@markbauer3937]

Second!

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Mark

[@claire1034]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Rahmatullah-qj7mj]

ARE you vERy NicE 🌷

[@janellinell4552]

It wasn’t that great to them lmao

[@rh5776]

You thought it was amzing. There is this myth among women that if they think something, everyone does. As an older dater, sex is not something you wait for until retirement. Why keep going on dates, to go home alone. Just my 2 cents.

[@seymourelykeley]

Susan is sweet and wants to let you down softly. Don’t make things more complicated than they need to be. If you were not asked for a 2nd date it’s because you didn’t do it for him. Don’t sugar coat.

[@bucketbucket4027]

see i love writing letters but i never have the time.. so lately I've been sending my letters using this app Text a Letter.. Hit me if you want my kraby patty formula :)

[@demarissantiago4255]

Hi Boys 😍💋 💝💖♥️❤️