Ambulance reviewed by Mark Kermode

[@danielbrennan8962]

"Least unfavourite michael bay film" That's about as positive a review as you're gonna get from Mark.

[@philcorrigan5641]

Stick that on the poster

[@Stand_By_For_Mind_Control]

I wonder what his thoughts are about Pain and Gain if he says that about this despite pretty much hating it. Because I thought that movie was pretty good.

[@danielbrennan8962]

@@Stand_By_For_Mind_Control kzbin.info/www/bejne/fZSrp4Wepphpntk

[@annettecorbett9842]

@@Stand_By_For_Mind_Control He really did not like Pain and Gain, from what I can remember. Might have even verged on Kermodian rant

[@Stand_By_For_Mind_Control]

@@annettecorbett9842 Huh. I'll have to look that up.

[@markbrown9183]

""Look at the bridge on that!"" Absolutely hilarious.

[@JelloTypeR]

They should put that on the poster.

[@erikcacciatore2152]

Mark is one of the best movie reviewers around--can't we at least get him in focus?

[@omandc9209]

"It's my least unfavourite Michael Bay film" that has to be on the poster as that's the nicest things Mark has ever said about Michael Bay or his films

[@TxxT33]

In an alternate universe Michael Bay is a brilliant director and Mark loves him. In this one we have fun entertaining reviews where mark poopoos all over him. I think I like it here.

[@rodycaz8984]

The Rock and Pain & Gain are good.

[@SuperMookles]

@@rodycaz8984 Pain and Gain is good? Are we in a parallel universe?

[@rodycaz8984]

@@SuperMookles We're in the universe where it's a very entertaining black comedy. It's basically The Three Stooges on steroids.

[@TxxT33]

@@rodycaz8984 I can forgive the first three transformer movies because I was a kid when they came out but God Pain and Gain was terrible. It was just black, minus the comedy.

[@rodycaz8984]

@@TxxT33 OK, let's just agree to disagree then. I think Transformers 2 and 3 are crimes against cinema, BTW.

[@hanshotfirst1138]

Michael Bay movies are like the story of the scorpion and the frog. He just sort of is who he is and does what he does.

[@ClichéGuevara-2814]

*slow motion US flag flapping*

[@Fed804]

Exactly - this is why I like that he is still making these big budget films. I will always take a movie that feels like it was what the Directors (and others) wanted to show instead of a made by committee film that’s currently ruining a lot of modern movies. Regardless of whether I like it or not.

[@docsamson198]

Can you imagine if Michael Bay was a wedding videographer? The bridesmaids would be dancing on the ceiling.

[@furbs9999]

And the church would blow up.

[@pdzombie1906]

That should be on the DVD release: "The Michael Bay film I dislike the least" M. Kermode.

[@MrWho-j9t]

Seen a trailer for Ambulance before I watched The Batman and the the whole audience just laughed. Looked terrible. Fast and furious in an ambulance…

[@RS-jb1lf]

Wow, high praise from Kermode! His least disliked Michael Bay movie 👍

[@alanmckenna5608]

The final Michael Bay/Kermode review on the BBC. Had Bay decided to go into finance and not the movies, Mark's hair could still be it's original colour.

[@ksenijaturkovic9228]

I've spent HOURS today listening to Mark's reviews and this one had me in stitches. Absolutely brilliant and hilarious!

[@maxslain4543]

This was on TV last night and I've just watched the "title card" after hearing Mark talk about it here (6:00). It does say Los Angeles then contract to LA but it doesn't say Ambulance as Mark implies. It just contacts to LA then fades out. The word ambulance isn't show on the screen.

[@saffmichael4369]

Come one, you HAVE to give Bay The Rock. Literally everything else he has ever done is different tiers of dumpster fires exploding but The Rock is the quintessential 90's action movie.

[@motherplayer]

The Rock is 15 minutes too long, but otherwise, I agree as well.

[@JohnSpawn1]

Terminator 2, Hard Boiled, Speed, The Matrix > The Rock (And that's not even considering, among others, Drunken Master II and Point Break - which I haven't seen - as well as films such as Heat which don't fully belong in the genre, but still have some of the finest action sequences in them. Then again, you might be right depending on how you define "quintessential 90s action movie".)

[@Hs022]

“Quintessential” Are you saying all 90s action films were bad?

[@elqord.1118]

It’s true. It’s a classic and it really had an impact

[@deadstar1641]

Bad boys 1 and 2 are also good.

[@user-uq4gr5nl5o]

"The Michael Bay film that I dislike the least" that one's for the poster.

[@williamfrancecamera]

there actually a term for what you say at 2:20 called ludonarrative dissonance. Where the action of the characters doesn't match with the environment they're creating around them. It's mainly a term being used to critique video games because of how cutscenes can identify a character as a selfless pacifist, whereas the gameplay forces them to be murderous and violent to achieve their goals. Think GTA IV, V and Bioshock for example for those who play video games

[@vb8428]

Interesting, I'll be using that. I still don't like when all the other characters start forgiving them at the end in such situations as if they aren't murderers, even the victims.

[@Elle-xf8mw]

Thank you!!!!! Didn't know such a term existed!!!!! 👌

[@johnkenneth3602]

I am very early and very excited to hear what Mark is going to say... Well... I'm back, and I agree with the Doctor.

[@AndrewMugginsHall]

I'm like 99% sure during a slo mo bullet shot sequence the main singular bullet in question was missing, like how? Literally looks like someone got shot by an invisible bullet. Another error I may have noticed, it seems like the titular Ambulance pulls into the carpark being escorted by a police car seen in the middle background of a shot where someone is kneeling over someone bleeding out but then we cut to the Ambulance crew and they're outside just about to go into the carkpark. Saw it at the Light Cinema Sheffield, Screen 9. Might be an incomplete reel? Feel like there was one or two placeholder shots too. Also the camera work was incredibly nauseating at times, especially during the beginning. Characters would be having conversations with little movement but the camera would be shaking all over the place. Can't tell if they toned it down for the rest of the movie, used it in more suitable situations, or I just got used to it. They use the exact same drone flying shot in the exact same place twice literally minutes apart in the carpark. They also repeat a drone camera movement several times where it flies down a building and twirls real quick before racing down the street towards the action. There were maybe 5 really cool shots in total. The action overall was nothing special, seen infinitely better elsewhere. Jake Gyllenhaal seemed to be playing a more insane and shouty parody of characters he's played before and I kinda loved it.

[@Onmysheet]

His movies all have that dimly blueish light cinematography that other Hollywood movies have. Like Now You See Me, Spy. It's lazy filmmaking.

[@KillahMate]

@@Onmysheet It's the other way round - all those movies took that from Bay.

[@MrGlostuber]

There were definitely repeats in certain clips, like when the helicopter is going under the bridge, Jake G lifts up the gun but in the next cut, it's him doing it again but finishing the rest of the scene.

[@stephennootens916]

There was this brief moment in time that Bay's style of movies were hot but he has not only got worse and worse he also is so out of date that his last film went to streaming.

[@PlatinumPaladin]

I know it's not nice to relish in the suffering of others, but in this case it's nice to know I didn't suffer alone. Simon's Blues Brothers analogy is pretty spot-on.

[@MukiMuki688]

Michael Bay while holding a camera like an AK-47: ".......genius......" Gundam UC0096 Guitar Anime MV kzbin.info/www/bejne/sKqakn-bjJt4oZo King of Fighters 15 Nameless theme Guitar MV kzbin.info/www/bejne/o2qam4anra6aZtk Gundam Hathaway Main Theme Guitar MV (Senkou) kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZCUaYabecSmj6s

[@motherplayer]

Yep, just as I thought. The moment I saw that the film was gonna be 2 hours and 16 minutes long, I knew the big problem, knowing Bay, was how that was gonna be justified with such a simple concept like this. To be fair, I'm sure that's not gonna bother most people, but it does me. Bay wanting to get a long experience for your buck without considering how to use that time the best.

[@Onmysheet]

90 minutes would be enough.

[@davewarner3326]

Saw the film today and I did not feel it was too long at all. In a way I wish the chase sequences lasted longer. People are getting too stuck into these cheaply made for TV films which are mostly rubbish, and forget that a good movie needs to be at least 2 hours long. I loved all the different drone shot angles, just a shame some of them didn't last longer before cutting to another angle. Although if you watch some of the commentary from the crew it was edited by someone who does a lot of Ridley Scott movies and the editor influenced a lot of the cutting to keep the tension. I am shocked that very few reviews mention the score and music, for me this makes up 50% of the experience of a film. I thought the music in this film was good for tension and emotion. My only negative is that Lorne Balfe who did the score for 13 Hours used a piece of music from that film in 6 Underground, and also a piece of music, although slightly altered, was in Ambulance. Surprised Lorne didn't create a fully original score, and more surprised that all these critics didn't even notice 😂 That being said, did it ruin the film, no. My final point is that I get sick of critics saying that fictional stories aren't 100% true to real life....they're not meant to be, if it was it would be boring. Think of all the Marvel/DC movies that aren't based on real life but are there for ENTERTAINMENT

[@markhutton6824]

OMG I miss you both so much... thank goodness for the podcasts and you tube videos...

[@eustacequinlank7418]

I was watching it and honestly had no idea who was directing, I just quite liked it, it kept catching me off guard with the tone. I thought it was some new younger director giving a heads up to Tony Scott OR a nod to Micheal Bay. When I was thought it was a younger director doing the former I really enjoyed it, when Bay’s name came up I thought ‘fair enough’ : )

[@KeithFraser82]

Poster quote: "ONE OF MY LEAST UN-FAVOURITE MICHAEL BAY FILMS" - MARK KERMODE

[@Luvie1980]

Ambalance! 😂 I feel like this should have been a Netflix movie.

[@RS-jb1lf]

It wouldn’t translate as well. I watched the movie and it’s an enjoyable one to watch at the cinema

[@hanzelfry]

Budget would have been too high. just the explosives alone 🙃

[@vb8428]

@@RS-jb1lf It would've been a hit on Netflix, bad mistake to take it to cinemas against franchise films

[@RS-jb1lf]

@@vb8428 I cancelled Netflix a month ago. Most people I know have done the same. L

[@vb8428]

@@RS-jb1lf Ah, I guess you know half of the worldwide Netflix audience.

[@jonny5779]

"Someone picks their nose THE DRONE FLYS UP THEIR NOSTRILS!" LOL😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Mark is a blessing!

[@dcsportsmark4996]

Always respect your reviews. Can’t wait to watch this one. 🚑 🚨

[@NANA-ze3xc]

I never see Mark happier than when he gets a Bay film to review ☺️

[@johntaylorson7769]

I too thought at first it was a remake of the Larry Cohen film, which I'd only recently watched (I've been seeking out movies where the trailers scared me to death when I was a kid). The Ambulance (1990) is absolutely batshit crazy, with so much going on it's difficult to explain what it's even about. eg, it does have a scene where the titular vehicle is hiding from a police manhunt... in the middle of a nightclub... and for no reason goes on a rampage and mows down ravers. It's bonkers. Anyway, I was disappointed this wasn't that.

[@arrongumbrell539]

Is the editing and camera work as choppy as 6 Underground as that film was a grind to watch?

[@ultramarineandy2253]

I have not watched 6 underground. But I walked out on ambulance because the way it was filmed made it unwatchable for me

[@arrongumbrell539]

@@ultramarineandy2253 6 Underground felt like a huge step back for action movies. The shaky cam and fast cuts were turned up to 11.

[@criminal238]

I thought it was a comedy and a bit of a satire on himself and the genre, and I am still confused about that. Is this meant to be a serious action film?

[@nayden5834]

Been thinking the same thing.

[@aseddon130]

My wife and i have spent the last two weeks in Greece and to pass the time i suggested going to the cinemas and while she really didn't want to sit through a 3 hour Batman movie i said we'll go to see Ambulance which released last friday and while i struggle with Bay-hem movies since Pearl Harbour (i didnt mind The Island) i did enjoy this for what it was. All criticisms here are fair but it was a completely enjoyable 2 hour cinema trip. The three leads make this film entertaining but Eiza Gonzalez has broken the mould for female leads in Bay-hem movies as he somehow manages to resist the urge to do slo-motion scantilly-clad arse shots for no reason whatsoever and she comes out as the strongest female he's ever done, so kudos for that. I think Bay needs to learn how to shoot a film with having a camera sat still for more than a second. I did spot one shot during the heist that was actually stationary for around 1.5 second which was highly noticeable because it's the first one he's ever actually done in his 30+ year career.

[@500sotos]

I doubt he hasn't made a shot stand still for more than 1.5 seconds before this. It sounds crazy.

[@jamiewillis6862]

I loved this movie sure he might be over the top with the set pieces in SFX but still tho he's a very underrated director in my opinion and I think he's not been given enough credit but I do agree with the done shots, there was just too much of that for me and I freaking loved the music during the action sequences and I give it a 9/10 (10/10 without the OTT drone shots)

[@VultureClone]

If someone asked me to describe a Michael Bay movie in a few words, I reckon, "Everything is exploding." is pretty accurate.

[@fka_the_body1542]

Your bang💣 on the money 💰😏😏

[@davidlean1060]

....everything is exploding, but the girl looks sexy as heck! That's more like it!

[@DanielMazz]

The drone explanation lol 😆 🤣

[@gilesa.4052]

What I want to see is Michael Bay guest direct Antiques Roadshow, Songs of Praise, Prime Ministers question Time or Countdown... your thoughts?

[@markatkinson167]

Just returned from watching it, yes It's ridiculous, but actually it's a good fun 2 hours rollercoaster popcorn ride.

[@Bolehillbilly]

When wittertainment goes to scala radio I hope this doesn’t change. “Ambulance is great! This review was sponsored by Ambulance. In cinemas now, go watch it”!

[@JelloTypeR]

Kermode won’t sell out. I’m sure of it.

[@fluid0]

So perfect to have a Bay movie talked down by Mark before the show is over!

[@aengusk3313]

Michael Bay is apparently a very talented director, he got first in his class in film school and has won awards for commercials he's directed. I think he just knows there's alot of money in Garbage movies

[@adamsancto3501]

It's weird to think that him and Fincher were rivals when they directed music videos. Cause you wouldn't see it now by the films Bay makes.

[@somanytakennames]

On a technical level, Bay is great. Maybe even exceptional. It’s just a shame that it doesn’t translate into great filmmaking/story telling.

[@ssssssstssssssss]

Commercials are typically 30 seconds. That’s probably the appropriate length for Bay.

[@chwenhoou]

And that's what I hate about this twit. There is no artistic drive in that rotten rat corpse he calls a soul. He doesn't care about what he makes. This is why the major audiences have moved on with this clown shoe. If you won't evolve as a person or a filmmaker, then you will stagnate as both.

[@riseofazrael]

@@adamsancto3501 Fincher directed the video for Judith by A Perfect Circle, you can see his visual style all over that video. Not sure what else he directed though

[@LJ-wm1bl]

Get your popcorn ready! The good doctor is reviewing another Michael Bay movie!

[@paulradojcin5514]

“I always used to call them Whirlycopters”

[@geoffbaumgartner5335]

They could have honestly used the "2 Brothers" parody trailer from Rick & Morty's Inter-dimensional Cable episode.

[@philcorrigan5641]

When Mark said ‘two brothers’ at the start of the review, that’s instantly what I thought of 😂

[@geoffbaumgartner5335]

@@philcorrigan5641 lol... I saw the trailer and it was just two brothers in a van (ambulance) and it was my 1st thought too. Now we just need grandmas and a Mexican armada..

[@RS-jb1lf]

You know exactly what you subscribe to a Bay movie and I personally loved it. The cast was great, the story line engaging and the action and speed exactly what you want for a heist movie.

[@rorrt]

I would have like it if this film was set in Wales, AMBIWLANS. Purely because of the name. That said! The Rock, c'mon! PHROAAAAAR THE ROCK!!! PHRAAOAWOOOOROROOAARRRRRR!!! LOOK AT THE SEAN CONNERY ON THAT!!!!

[@moonkeele]

Not to be confused with Ambulans from 1962, which I had to watch in school without being told they were acting, and I was left traumatised for life.

[@doubledown1138]

Focus puller has the day off I see...

[@erocrush]

“My least unfavorite Michael Bay movie” may be the faintest praise anyone has ever been Damned with.

[@stevenspringer1599]

drones - when 'zoom' tech happened, directors went crazy with it for a while as well

[@DrSeuss-nw3px]

I’m surprised mark didn’t point out the scene where the characters talk about the rock and bad boys.

[@yezen6889]

The movie had me at “WE DONT GET TO RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET” 💀

[@SuperDesignermatt]

Think I’ll wait for it to come out on Laser Disc

[@TimWilson666]

"Un film de Michael Bay" says Mark! Strap in everyone! :D

[@triangleman2k6]

It’s like they mashed the plots of Heat, Speed, and Armored together and made a film that was too long

[@Professicchio]

2:12 I wouldn't say that's a plot flaw Mark, actually makes perfect sense considering everyone knows in USA a cop's life is more important than every other 'civilian'.

[@MrGlostuber]

Yeah but cops die in the car chases as well.

[@JelloTypeR]

A clip from the penultimate wittertainment. This Friday from 1-4 will be totes emosh. One last HTJI from a VLTL&FTC.

[@lpquagmire3621]

"It's fine..."

[@MJPamuru20]

30% of this film is drone footage! It’s so unnecessarily long and extremely little character building that the endings emotional beat just doesn’t pay off. If you want to watch I’d suggest waiting until you can stream it.

[@liberatoreZ]

Drone POV is the new lens flare.

[@benmansfield6032]

He would have been more favourable had he not known who directed it. Love them or hate them, you know exactly what you are getting with Bay movies.

[@henn863]

Michael Bay needs to make a movie starring Mackenzie Crook and Danny Dyer. Then we'll get a proper Kermode rant.

[@moonkeele]

Michael Bey presents Sex In The City 3 staring Johnny Vegas

[@jacobkelly3142]

Watching Kermode get rattled by it, almost as much fun as watching the film itself

[@nba_fan7214]

"It's alright". Wow coming from Mark about a Michael Bay film, that should go on the adverts tbh

[@TheTruthKiwi]

I liked how the ambulance and their EMT uniforms were absolutely pristine, like all brand new, until they got a bit of blood on them of course. The dialogue throughout was atrocious. The only partly realistic part was when the cop was awkwardly asking the bank teller out because he looked embarrassed by what he was saying. It's like they gave MB a million dollars and he spent it ALL on drones and car crashes. Absolute rubbish.

[@56postoffice]

Possibly Michael Bay's best film........since his best film, *"The Rock."*

[@SuperCitizenBane]

At least we got one last great Michael Bay review before these two hang it up.

[@henn863]

What? When are they quitting?

[@SuperCitizenBane]

@@henn863 Mark's getting tired of reviewing Michael Bay movies.

[@JelloTypeR]

@@henn863 this Friday 1st April is the last wittertainment. An appropriate date to end the show.

[@PapaPercules]

When watching the trailer for this movie, I thought to myself “I’ve seen this movie at least 4 different times”

[@callummc1988]

Can't wait to see "It's the Michael Bay film that I dislike the least - Mark Kermode, BBC" on the DVD cover

[@marcbentzen3339]

I am really going to miss you guys on a Friday afternoon, i do hope you are moving the show somewhere else.

[@GJAllKnowing]

What's the name of the Danish movie?

[@freshedmupdatesedm5852]

Ambulancen

[@stephennootens916]

Same name from what Wikipedia said.

[@chris_this_is]

The flappy hands only come out for Michael Bay these days.

[@themanwithnoname2816]

So basically Mark this is your favourite Michael Bay film?

[@Thomassm57]

I don't like how Marks's microphone sounds.

[@MissAmazanda]

I ......LOVED....this ambulance movie by Michael Bay, it is one of my favorite action movies in years

[@rustywarrior5288]

Let the Bayhem commence

[@fakeigniz13]

I was interested in this until I heard it was a Michael Bay film. Sounds like it lives up to my expectations

[@pmsurve]

"Least unfavourite michael bay film". High praise indeed.

[@Superfurness1]

Not the biggest Bay fan either but The Rock and 13 hours are great films

[@KeithFraser82]

"In theatres now! Coming this summer! Two brothers! In a van! Er...ambulance!" kzbin.info/www/bejne/mJKcnGiJjNx4aZo

[@michaelantonyaustin]

I think within Michael Bay there’s a cleverly shot, but surprisingly subdued 80 minute film struggling to get out…

[@lage1984]

Judging by Kermode's glowing "least unfavourite Bay film", I reckon this could be pretty great

[@jrp101]

Im dissapointed that its not a remake of the Larry Cohen film.

[@lapislazuli5035]

Oh, it's a Michael Bay movie? Ugh. I'll just skip this and watch Jennifer's Body in protest.

[@blaisetelfer8499]

How is that a protest?

[@browniePOWER01]

@@blaisetelfer8499 you haven't heard about Megan Fox and Michael Bay?

[@lapislazuli5035]

@Blaise Telfer Megan Fox infamously called out Michael Bay for being a sexist and a tyrannical director on the set of the Transformers movies, and he subsequently had her semi blacklisted from Hollywood.

[@believer4002]

@@lapislazuli5035 she never called him an «sexist» and she denied all allegations against Bay on her Instagram. She has even said that she was a bit simple-minded and immature in her earlier years. Calling your director «Hitler», and you’re surprised Spielberg wanted her fired? Anyways, she and Bay have made amends years ago, so it seems only pretentious english guys like yourselves that keep dissing him for this. Anyways, skipping this is your loss. It is a thoroughly exciting and entertaining two hours.

[@aspiehyena5360]

"It's one of my least unfavourite Michael Bay films..." Something put that in the dictionary of quotations or something.

[@roweproductions9424]

That’s an impressive drone 😂

[@Dave0G]

Nah, bad guy brother was perfectly happy to leave the cop to die but turned when he was useful as a hostage.

[@JosephusAurelius]

What if Michael Bay is discreetly a genius who uses the medium of film to ironically expose the modern day materialistic emptiness and indirectly gets us to ask deep philosophical questions about what love is and what is spirituality today?

[@motherplayer]

Well, there was this one time where he was quoted as saying, I think around the 4th Transformers film, that even if people complained about his films, they'd still see them anyway. I almost want to think there is true to your query, but he's probably just being salty there.

[@swedish_llama1356]

That would be honestly hilarious. He’s trying to make high art and social commentary and everyone just thinks he’s the very thing he’s criticising

[@JosephusAurelius]

@@swedish_llama1356 it gets you thinking doesn’t it 🤔

[@mroctober3657]

What is Michael Bay, really?

[@brianyule1289]

I do hope '"It's one of my least unfavourite Michael Bay films" - Mark Kermode", goes on the posters & publicity.

[@tankdesign1]

Loved this movie compared to Bay’s priors

[@joshjones-keen4282]

Mark does miss the point that the reason they don't want the cop to die is because the police would kill them if the cop was dead

[@carsonpeterson758]

I think he should like him and his latest is a fun and entertaining blast

[@Cuttersway]

Is this getting more out of focus as it goes on or am I just going blind?

[@TommyRosati]

Trying to make sense of a Michael Bay movie plot, is like trying to eat soup with a fork. It's simply nonsensical.

[@rso5272]

You got it wrong They kept the cop alive to keep the police from aggressively attacking them

[@siddharthverma8975]

"AMBU-LA-LANCE"

[@johanstone]

so sad seeing jake gyllenhaal's almost perfect career being part of a michael bay film

[@tankgunner9860]

Peak kermode on form again

[@th0mas.p4ttz]

Excellent review. I still don’t want to see it

[@Minotaur_]

A shaky cam nightmare. That's it. That's the movie.